You Want To Make A Memory?
by enitsirk
Summary: This is the story of four boys. This is the story of how these four boys came to know each other, of how they became friends. This is the story of their unbreakable bond that could survive any test. This is a story that will ultimately end in tragedy.
1. A Compartment for Four

You Want To Make A Memory?

This is the story of four boys. This is the story of a boy from a family he wants to escape from. This is the story of a boy who is from a family he loves deeply, but lacks the gift of a best friend. This is the story of a boy who has been living with a curse his entire life, fighting to overcome it. This is the story of a boy who wishes to show people what he can do. This is the story of how these four boys came to know each other, of how they became friends. This is the story of their unbreakable bond, of a bond that could survive any test, any trial. This is a story that will ultimately end in tragedy.

Chapter One  
A Compartment for Four 

A sandy-haired, green-eyed boy of eleven sleepily pushed his trolley through the crowd of travelers at King's Cross Train Station. His parents walked along in his wake, talking in hushed voices. They knew their son was excited, but they needed him on his guard. He knew what accepting his spot meant, the precautions that had to be taken. Their son knew, of course, everything that came along with his invitation, the chance he thought he had been denied. He knew he had to be careful, but that still didn't stop his parents from worrying.

They stopped outside the barrier between platforms nine and ten and waited patiently, looking for the perfect chance the race through the barrier and onto Platform Nine and Three Quarters.

"Listen, Remus," the man said, looking down at his son. "You know Dumbledore went through a lot of trouble for you."

"I know, Dad," Remus replied, looking longingly at the barrier, eager to find a compartment on the train and catch up on his sleep.

"You're not going to slip up, are you?"

"Of course not."

"Good," Remus's father said, patting his son on the shoulder. "You know we're proud of you, don't you?"

Remus nodded. He knew that his parents were prouder of him now more than they had ever been. It had been decided a long time ago that the idea of Remus attending school was out of the question. How could a boy like him possibly be admitted? Not that Remus was a bad person; he was just unfortunate enough to have been bitten by a werewolf at a young age.

"The Lupins are a smart lot, you know," Mr. Lupin went on, putting his arm around his son's shoulder and leading him closer to the barrier, Mrs. Lupin following. "A whole line of Ravenclaws on my side of the family."

"My side wasn't exactly _dumb_, Harry," Mrs. Lupin said reprovingly.

"I know, Anna, but we're talking about _Wizard_ knowledge right now," Harry responded in a lower voice, grinning at his wife's frown.

Anna Lupin rolled her eyes at her husband and walked forward, pulling her son into a hug. "You be good, you hear? I don't want to get a letter saying that you blew anything up."

"Unless, of course, it's the Slytherin common room," Harry added, earning a disapproving look from his wife. He cleared his throat and regained an authoritative manner. "Yes, well, listen to your mother, Remus." He gripped his son's shoulder and shook it.

"See you at Christmas," Remus said, hugging his mother once more before turning around with his father, preparing to go through the barrier.

The crowd seemed heavy enough that no one would notice two people disappear through a solid brick wall, so they took this chance. They reappeared on the other side, and were met with a fairly empty platform. This made sense, of course, as they were a half hour early. The rush never really started until twenty to the hour. This was how Mr. Lupin had wanted it; he didn't want any attention drawn to his son, whose face bore painful looking scars.

They found a compartment at the back of the train and Mr. Lupin helped his son stow away his trunk before he climbed on board. Remus stepped onto the platform once more to say a proper goodbye to his father. Mr. Lupin gave his son one last hug before he got on the train and he went back into the Muggle world to his wife.

Remus settled himself on the unusually comfortable seat and leaned his head against the window. He could see his father take the trolley and push it through the barrier, offering one last look at him before he disappeared. He grinned at the thought of blowing up the Slytherin common room; it had been a mission of his father's when he went to Hogwarts – a mission he never achieved. His mother, a Muggle, sometimes failed to understand the significance of that statement. His father absolutely hated the Slytherin house; he would never dare step foot into that house and neither would Remus. Honestly, Remus would be happy in any house that wasn't Slytherin. With that thought in mind, he allowed himself to be lulled away to sleep.

* * *

A boy with long black hair and grey eyes walked silently beside a rather forbidding woman. He listened, uninterested, as she babbled on about nonsense he had heard at least a million times in his life. He couldn't be exact about how many times he had listened to it; he had lost count at two hundred and fifty two, but he knew he had heard the story many times over. When he was younger he used to protest, saying that he didn't want to listen. Now he knew better. He would simply smile and nod, knowing that he would never actually follow the orders his mother bestowed upon him.

They inconspicuously walked through a solid brick barrier and reappeared on the other side, lost amongst the crowds of people scurrying about, saying rushed goodbyes to each other. The boy's mother spun him around by his shoulders so that he was facing her. She studied him noiselessly, taking in every wrinkle on his shirt, every lose strand of hair on his head. She clicked her tongue irritably, straightening a crease on the boy's sleeve.

The boy grimaced and shrunk away from her. "Will you stop it, Mother?" he asked, annoyed.

"Sirius, you have to look presentable at least _once_ in your life," the woman said.

Sirius rolled his eyes. He really couldn't care less if he looked presentable or not. Who was he trying to impress anyway? Certainly not the kinds of people his mother wished him to become acquainted with. He knew it was his mother and his father's wish for him to lead on the Black Family name. He was the heir, after all. He was only grateful his father was home with his younger brother, Regulus. His father was just as strict about these absurd family notions as his mother was.

Sirius gripped the handle on his trunk and slowly pulled it off the trolley. He wanted to get away from his mother as quickly as possible. He looked over his shoulder at the scarlet steam engine behind him – the Hogwarts Express. It was a sight. The train stood proudly, puffing mammoth clouds of smoke into the air as it awaited the departure to Sirius's ticket away from his family – Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He checked his watch and saw he did not have much time to get on the train and find a suitable compartment – preferably far away from the so-called _appropriate_ companions.

"Mother," Sirius said slowly, inching backwards ever so slightly. "I really should get on the train now."

"Oh, yes, of course," Mrs. Walburga Black said, checking her own watch. "Well, remember all that I've told you," she added, pointing a finger at her oldest son.

"Of _course_, Mother," Sirius agreed, cracking the fakest smile he could. He picked up his trunk. "See you at Christmas." With that, he was off to school, away from the one thing he had so longed to escape.

Sirius walked up and down the corridor, looking through the windows of the compartments in hope of finding a vacant one he could have for himself. As he neared the back, he discovered that this was not likely to happen. Every compartment was either full or else had some nasty looking occupants. In the very last compartment, however, was a sandy-haired boy fast asleep against the window. _He won't mind_, Sirius thought, sliding the door open as quietly as he could.

He entered the compartment and stowed his trunk in the overhead and took a seat. He observed the slumbering boy, who did not seem as if he would be waking up any time soon. _This is going to be a long ride.

* * *

_

A boy with untidy, jet-black hair and glasses that framed his hazel eyes hurried through the crowd of witches and wizards on Platform Nine and Three Quarters. He had ten minutes to find a good compartment, or else he would be left sitting with people he knew he would not like. The train left at eleven and, according to his father's watch, it was now ten to. The boy couldn't wait to get on the train and speed away to his new life at school, the opportunity he had been waiting for for a long time. He loved his parents, yes, but there just wasn't anyone his age around. He was an only child, the youngest cousin by many years… he needed to be near people his own age.

He peered through the windows of the train, hoping he could discover a decent compartment from outside. He didn't much fancy running into some nasty Slytherins, not that he was afraid of them. He was very confident that, if the need arose, he could defend himself. He merely wasn't in the mood to fight. He acquitted his search, however, and focused his attention on his parents. It caused them a great deal of distress to let him go. They were considerably old and, having a child so late in life, they spoiled him a little more than they should.

"You'll do great, James," James's father said, smiling fondly at his son.

"Thanks, Dad," James replied, grinning broadly.

"Write as much as you can," his mother said, wearing a grin similar to her husband's.

"I will."

"All the Potters have been in Gryffindor, I have no doubt you'll be there as well." Mrs. Potter beamed at the thought of James being in her and her husband's alma mater. "Right, Charles?" she said to her husband.

"Actually, Hannah, I think there was a Hufflepuff somewhere along the line in my family. Hufflepuff's a great house too; it wouldn't be terrible if you got in there."

James nodded. He knew Hufflepuff was a good house; people just made it seem as if it was for dodders. He took another glance at his father's watch. "I think I should be heading on the train now," he said pointedly, the Hogwarts Express was nearly ready to leave.

"Oh, of course!" Mrs. Potter said, pulling her son into a hug. "You write every week, you hear?"

"Yes, Mum," James replied, his voice muffled by his mother's shoulder.

"Do well, James," Mr. Potter said, clapping James on the shoulder.

With one last look at his parents, James pulled his trunk forward and began his search for a compartment. As he trailed the train's corridor he discovered that being late put him in something of a dilemma. Almost all of the compartments were completely full, or else held some rather mean looking dwellers. He dragged his trunk, his arm getting tired, to the back of the train where he prayed he would at last have success. He peered into one of the windows and found a compartment with only two people in it. One was a sandy-haired boy, who was currently sleeping. The other was a black-haired boy who was leafing lazily through a book. Clearly he was in need of some company that was actually awake.

He slid the door open and the boy looked up.

"Mind if I sit here?" James asked. The boy shook his head and James gratefully took the seat across from him, next to the still sleeping boy. "I'm James Potter."

"Sirius Black," the boy replied, placing his book into his pocket.

"Black? I think I've heard of that name before."

"No… no, you probably haven't."

James looked at Sirius curiously, but said nothing. Obviously Sirius wasn't at all comfortable with speaking of his family. He vaguely remembered his father saying how the Blacks were too pureblood obsessed, how they couldn't care less about the Muggle-borns. James shrugged this thought off; Sirius didn't give off that air of arrogance. He decided the best thing to do would be to hit it off with him.

* * *

A boy with mousy blonde hair and watery blue eyes trudged along behind his parents as they led the way to Platform Nine and Three Quarters. He knew he should be excited; every eleven year old witch or wizard was, but he couldn't be. For so long he had believed himself to be a Squib, that he had no magical powers, despite his bloodline. Then his letter came, the letter that proved his notions wrong. This letter invited him to the best school in the country where he could learn magic.

He and his parents strolled unnoticeably through the seemingly solid barrier between platforms nine and ten and reappeared on the other side to see the students frantically running across the ground to the train. The boy glanced down at his watch; he hadn't realised he'd arrived so late. He should have listened to his mother when she told him to wake up, but he had chosen to sleep and now he was paying for it. He turned to his parents, not wanting to say a rushed goodbye, but having no alternative.

"The train's about to leave," he said unnecessarily. His parents had clearly noticed this by simply watching the students dashing about.

"You'll do fine, Peter," his mother said, ruffling his hair fondly. "All of the Pettigrews have done well; you just have to believe you can."

Peter did his best to smile. His mother obviously had no idea what he was thinking at the moment – that he would be at the bottom of his class. What if he didn't even make it into a house? What if he was deemed unworthy of any of the four houses because of his lack of capability? He didn't want to even imagine the looks on his parents' faces when they found him on their doorstep the day after he left for school. He couldn't disappoint them in such a way; they had done too much for him.

"I know you're nervous, Peter, but your mother is right," Mr. Pettigrew said encouragingly. "Come on, Maggie," he added to his wife. "Peter has to go."

"Right, John," Mrs. Pettigrew said.

Peter hugged his mother and father before hurrying on the train, which was about to hurry away. He grabbed the handle of his trunk, hopped on board and set out for a place to sit. Peter had always found it a little difficult coming upon strangers, especially when there were so many of them, which was why he searched for a compartment with fewer people inside, three at the most. He ended up at the back of the Hogwarts Express, at a loss for where to sit. He had encountered far too many overly occupied compartments.

As he was looking about he heard the distinct sound of two voices laughing. The voices seemed to be coming from his right; he turned and peered through the window of the door. There was a boy with untidy black hair laughing with another boy who had long black hair. They seemed to be friendly enough, he would chance it. He pushed the door open and cleared his throat, attracting the attention of the two boys.

"Erm… hi," Peter said awkwardly. "Mind?"

"Not at all," the boy with the untidy hair said, gesturing to the seat across from him. "I'm James Potter."

Peter grinned and sat down. "I'm Peter Pettigrew," he said.

"Sirius Black," the boy beside him said.

Peter smiled at the boy and then something caught something in the corner of his eye. It seemed that these two boys weren't the only people in the compartment. There was a boy fast asleep in the corner. "Who's he?" he asked them.

"We don't know," James said. "Sirius said he's been asleep since he got here. Makes sense, the kid looks exhausted."

This was true. Peter saw dark circles underneath the boy's eyes and his face was quite pale. He, James and Sirius did their best not to be too loud and wake him. As the ride progressed, Peter found that he liked these boys; they were both funny, but seemed to have a mischievous streak. This was well demonstrated when James announced that the first thing he'd like to do would be to set off Dungbombs in the Slytherin common room, if he could find it. Sirius gladly seconded this idea.

The lunch trolley rolled by after some time and James immediately got up, Sirius at his heels. Peter looked over at the still sleeping boy; he looked as if he could use some food. Peter slowly edged towards him and gently shook the boy in the shoulder. The boy must have been close to waking up, as his head jerked up immediately upon Peter's touch. Peter jumped back slightly, but managed a small, apologetic smile for him.

"Hullo," Peter said, in the most pleasant voice he could muster.

"Um… hullo," the boy said, rubbing his eyes and looking around tiredly.

"I didn't mean to wake you," he said hurriedly.

"No, no that's fine. I was about to wake up anyway."

"I'm Peter Pettigrew, by the way," he said, beginning to fish through his pockets for some money.

"Remus Lupin," the boy responded, standing up to stretch.

Sirius and James reentered the compartment, their arms laden with every sweet imaginable. They dumped them together on one of the seats and looked over to Peter.

"Hey," James said, his eyes moving to Remus. "Sleepy finally woke up."

"I just woke him to see if he was hungry," Peter explained. He turned to Remus. "The lunch trolley is still out there, if you're hungry."

"No, I'm not much hungry," Remus replied, sitting down once more.

Peter shrugged and went out into the hallway, coming back in moments later with some Cauldron Cakes.

"Well if you become hungry, we got plenty," Sirius was saying, gesturing down to the enormous pile of candy on his seat. "I'm Sirius Black," he added to Remus. He picked up a Chocolate Frog and ripped the pack open, instantly checking the card. "Morgana," he muttered. "I've got three of her; either of you three want it?" James and Peter shook their heads, saying they had her card already. "What about you, Mr. Sleepy?"

"Err… sure," Remus said, gratefully taking the card and pocketing it. "And my name's Remus," he added.

"I'm James," James said as he picked up a box of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans. He tore the top open and pulled out a murky green coloured bean. He was about to put it in his mouth when Remus stopped him.

"I wouldn't do that," Remus said warningly. "That's booger flavoured. I got one like that once."

James looked curiously at the bean, as if he was deciding if Remus was telling the truth, and then threw it back in the box. Instead he grabbed a Pumpkin Pasty.

"So," he said slowly. "How long do you think before we get there?"

"Maybe a few more hours," Sirius suggested. "I can't wait."

"Do you know how we get put into houses?" Remus asked.

Sirius, James and Peter stared at him. He must have been Muggle-born, but then he couldn't be if he knew what Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans were.

"You don't know?" Peter said, slightly incredulously. "Your parents never told you?"

Remus was visibly uncomfortable. He shifted in his seat and said, "well, my mum's a Muggle, so she couldn't tell me and my dad never really… err… thought it was important I know."

"What, did your dad think you were going to be a Squib?" James asked.

"No, he knew I wasn't a Squib. Just forget about that, how do you get Sorted?"

"With the Sorting Hat. My dad told me that it looks in your brain and decides from that where you belong."

Peter observed Remus and saw that he did not appear to be happy about this. He couldn't understand why, it wasn't at all painful and didn't require a vast knowledge of magic. He glanced at Sirius and saw that he did not look too excited about this process either, but he had at least had a forewarning. He shrugged his shoulders, he would find out eventually. For now he concentrated on having fun with his newfound companions. Questions could wait.


	2. Gryffindors

Chapter Two  
Gryffindors

The Hogwarts Express pulled into Hogsmeade Station and a voice sounded above, instructing the students to exit the train and leave their belongings behind. The four boys joined the throng of students filing into the corridor. They jumped out onto the platform and immediately heard a booming voice shouting over the crowd.

"Firs' years! Firs' years, this way!"

Sirius looked around to find the source of the voice, and did not have to wait long to discover it. Remus tapped him on the shoulder and pointed to a large man with a bushy beard and beetle black eyes. He was holding a lantern above his head, illuminating a pathway for the first years to take. The boys looked at each other excitedly; it seemed as if they were headed in a different direction from the older students. James, Sirius and Peter knew several things about Hogwarts, but one thing each of their parents had refused to tell them was how they got to the castle.

The large man led the way up a path and they soon found themselves standing in front of a number of boats docked at the shore of a lake. It looked as if they would be sailing to Hogwarts.

The man turned to them and smiled. "No mor'n four to a boat," he instructed, stepping into a boat of his own.

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter hopped into the boat closest to them. Once the boats were full, the man raised a pink umbrella in the air and pointed it forward. Instantly the boats set sail into the moonlit water. The students were whispering eagerly, heads turning and craning in an attempt to catch a glimpse of the castle. One student shrieked when a tentacle surfaced in the water right near her boat. A few of the boys sniggered rudely.

"That's just the Giant Squid," Peter said, thinking that this was no reason for a girl to be laughed at.

The Giant Squid did not reappear for the remainder of the boat ride. As they were rounding a bend the large man raised his pink umbrella in the air once more and the students saw he was pointing to the Hogwarts Castle. The sight was more than anyone could have imagined. The castle stood tall with its cavernous passageways and high towers. Flickering lights could be seen through some of the windows, no doubt lit by torches. From all that the boys had heard about the castle from their parents, they saw that nothing could compare to the actual sight.

The boats docked on the shore and the students disembarked with a new feeling in their stomachs. The moment they stepped foot on the shore they became as nervous as they had ever been. What magic did they know? Very little, and certainly not enough to get by. Then again, that was precisely the reason they were there – to learn. This fact still did not empty their stomachs of butterflies. They trailed behind the large man and soon enough they found themselves standing in an entry way made of marble. There was a grand staircase and at the very top was a strict looking woman wearing emerald green robes.

"Professor McGonagall," the man said when they reached the top landing. "I have the firs' years for yeh." He swept an arm across the first years, causing the students directly behind him to duck.

Professor McGonagall looked around the man and surveyed the first years through her square spectacles. "Thank you, Hagrid," she said to the large man. "I will take them now."

"O' course, Professor," Hagrid said, smiling and making his way down the staircase (the students parting to make room).

Once Hagrid had disappeared, Professor McGonagall returned her gaze to the new students before them. "Welcome to Hogwarts," she said. "In a few moments you will head into the Great Hall where you will join your classmates for the Sorting Ceremony. You will be Sorted into one of the four houses – Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff or Slytherin. While you are at Hogwarts your house will be your family. Your achievements will gain you points, while any rule breaking will lose you points. I will return when they are ready for you, I suggest you prepare yourselves before I get back." Professor McGonagall swept by and disappeared in the same direction Hagrid had gone in.

"All we do is try on a hat, right?" Remus asked apprehensively as he looked about and discovered several students muttering spells under their breath and otherwise appearing quite frightened.

"That's what my dad told me," James said, suddenly sounding unsure if the information had been correct.

"Well, my parents told me the same thing," Peter said, Sirius nodding in agreement.

"I hope I don't end up in Slytherin," James said. "I would jump back onto the train and go home."

Sirius grimaced. "I'd be treated like a king if that happened."

"What d'you mean?" Peter asked curiously.

"My whole family is Slytherins, except for my cousin Andromeda. She was a Ravenclaw."

"But _you_ don't want to be in that house, do you?"

"No! Merlin, _no_!"

"My dad's side has always been in Ravenclaw," Remus said, trying to divert the attention off Sirius, who looked slightly uncomfortable. "So it wouldn't be bad being in that house."

"Ravenclaw's a great house," James agreed, nodding.

"Follow me," said the sharp voice of Professor McGonagall as she reappeared behind the first years. "They are ready for you now."

An eerie quiet settled over the first years. They trailed behind Professor McGonagall, a feeling of dreading falling upon them. Professor McGonagall led them through enormous double doors and into the dining hall where the rest of the school had assembled. The ceiling above did not appear to be a ceiling at all; it looked as if the room simply opened up to the skies. The clear, starry night was reflected in the ceiling which, as a girl behind the boys mentioned, was enchanted to look like the sky.

At the head of the hall was the Staff Table. Sitting at the very centre of the table was a man with a long silver bead and silver half-moon spectacles. He was wearing a set of purple robes and was busy surveying the hall, his eyes falling on the first years. Situated in front of the Staff Table was a three-legged stool with a patched and frayed old hat.

Professor McGonagall led them to the hat and she pulled out a long scroll and unfurled it.

"When I call your name, you will come and try on the Sorting Hat," she explained. "Once you have been Sorted you will take your seat with your new house mates." She looked at the scroll. "Abbot, Allison!"

A girl with blonde plaited hair jumped in her spot and scurried up to the stool. Hat on head, she waited rather impatiently and nervously for it to shout out her new house.

"HUFFLEPUFF!" the Sorting Hat proclaimed. The table at the far right of the room began cheering loudly and Allison joined them, grinning broadly.

"Black, Sirius!" Professor McGonagall called.

Sirius groaned in his place, muttering that he hated having a surname that started with a B. Nevertheless, he walked confidently to the stool and sat down. Once the Sorting Hat was placed on his head, he was shocked to hear a voice speaking in his ear.

"Hmm," the Hat was saying curiously. "You're not like the many other Blacks that I've Sorted. Don't you want to join them in Slytherin?"

"_No_," Sirius thought furiously. "Anywhere but there."

"Well, you _are_ different, aren't you? If you don't want to be in Slytherin then surely you want to be somewhere your family _won't _approve of. If that's how you want it, I know the only house for you. GRYFFINDOR!"

Sirius sighed in relief. He almost considered thanking the Sorting Hat out loud, but thought better of it. He turned and hurried to the middle table that was cheering for him, though it was a stunned cheer. Obviously several of them had heard that Blacks almost always ended up in Slytherin. Sirius was determined to prove that theory wrong. Seated comfortably amongst the Gryffindors, Sirius returned his gaze to the Sorting Ceremony. There were several Ravenclaws; maybe Remus would end up there like his father had. There were also a number of Hufflepuffs, but very few Slytherins. He had been lucky not to end up there.

"Evans, Lily!" Professor McGonagall called.

A girl with auburn hair and bright green eyes walked timidly up to the Sorting Hat and sat down. She was sitting for a few minutes before she was declared a Gryffindor. She appeared to be very pleased about this and chose a seat a few places down from Sirius. He caught her eye and smiled. They were the only two Gryffindor first years at the moment.

Some time later, after Professor McGonagall consulted the list, she called out, "Lupin, Remus!" Unless Sirius's eyes were cheating him, Professor Dumbledore seemed to sit up straighter in his chair.

Remus swallowed hard and walked forward, trying to ignore the fact that some of the staff members were eyeing him as if he was something they had never seen before. They all knew the nature of his condition; it had been part of the agreement his parents had made with Professor Dumbledore when he had admitted Remus into Hogwarts. Did this fact mean that they had to stare at him like he was a time bomb about to explode? Remus was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he barely registered the small voice in his ear.

"Well, well, well," the Sorting Hat was saying in a mildly impressed voice. "They always said Dumbledore was the living example of genius being one step away from insanity." Remus raised his eyebrow, even the Sorting Hat thought this idea was pure ludicrous. "I'm not suggesting that. I was simply saying that I have never had to Sort one of your kind before."

Remus gritted his teeth, the Hat really should have quit while it was ahead. "Can you _please_ just Sort me?" he thought, trying to remain patient.

"Very well. I see you wouldn't mind being in Ravenclaw, your father would be extremely proud of you. But I also see that you want friends, and one of the boys you hope to become friends with is in Gryffindor. Certainly you would want to go there? This is indeed difficult. Well, the one place I'm sure you'll be happy in is GRYFFINDOR!"

Remus hadn't realised how long he had been sitting in that stool; the students seemed surprised when the Sorting Hat finally placed him. He took the seat beside Sirius, who clapped him on the back and said that that was probably record timing for a Sorting. Remus didn't know whether to be pleased or scared by this statement, so he just smiled and nodded.

"Pettigrew, Peter!" Professor McGonagall said.

Peter squeaked from his spot in the line, and dashed up to the stool. The Sorting Hat fell over his eyes, obscuring his view of the rest of the hall. The voice appeared in his mind as the Sorting Hat began making its decision.

"You're also an interesting candidate," the Hat mused. "Too many of you today. I like many easy placers. Well, you have a will to prove yourself to others, that's some Slytherin in you." Peter's insides froze; he did not want to be in Slytherin. "But you don't want to be in Slytherin, I see. That narrows down the choices, doesn't it? You do have a strong sense of loyalty. You must be in GRYFFINDOR!"

Peter grinned, relieved that he had not ended up in the house he most dreaded. He took the seat across from Remus and Sirius, who both congratulated him. They turned their attention back to the Sorting, as right after Peter came,

"Potter, James!"

James walked up to the Sorting Hat with a bit of a swagger; he knew where he wanted to be.

"Ah!" the Sorting Hat exclaimed. "You're just what I've been waiting for, someone easy to Sort. GRYFFINDOR!"

Once again the Gryffindor table erupted into applause as James took the seat beside Peter. The Sorting Ceremony began to round off as the remainders of the students were Sorted. They noticed in particular a boy with greasy shoulder length hair, his name was Severus Snape and he became a Slytherin.

The Sorting ended with "Zabini, Abrac," becoming a Slytherin. Professor McGonagall rolled up her scroll and took the Sorting Hat and the stool away. The students fixed their attention now upon Headmaster Dumbledore, who had stood in his place.

"To all those new, welcome!" he said, his eyes falling on some of the first years. "To all those old, welcome back! I ask you now to please enjoy the feast!"

The golden platters on the tables suddenly filled with food and the students, ravenous from the long train ride, began eating.

"Remus, I thought you were never going to be Sorted," Sirius said as he piled roast potatoes onto his place.

Remus grinned nervously, and kept his eyes on his plate. "Well… I dunno, I guess I was just a hard person to place."

"Same thing happened to me," Peter said sympathetically, choosing to not divulge the bit of information that included him being a good Slytherin.

"Professor Dumbledore seemed a bit interested in it too," Sirius added unthinkingly.

"Interested in what?" Remus asked, guarded.

"Your Sorting."

"Oh… well… isn't he interested in everybody's?"

"He looked particularly interested in yours."

Remus said nothing. Instead he continued to eat his food, not enjoying it but needing something to do that would make Sirius realise the subject was closed. Sirius did seem to notice that Remus had become uneasy and therefore changed the subject to Quidditch. He and James agreed that Quidditch was the best invention out there (besides the Dungbomb) and they couldn't wait to see the first match of the season. James really wanted to play on the Gryffindor team, but Sirius made a point to mention that first years never made the team, no matter how good they were.

"Then next year," James said confidently.

"Why! First years!" came an unexpected voice from below. James, Remus and Sirius turned to see that Peter had frozen over his plate. A pearly, translucent head was coming out of it. The figure came fully out of the table and surveyed the students around him. Some of the older students waved merrily at the ghost, while others continued eating, as if this was an every day happening, which, in their case, it probably was. "Welcome to Gryffindor!" the ghost said cheerfully, holding out a hand to Remus, presumably for him to shake.

"Um…" Remus said slowly, did the ghost expect him to shake his hand?

"Oh, I'm sorry!" the ghost said apologetically.

"Hullo, Sir Nicholas!" said an older student.

"Wait," James muttered, realisation dawning. "You're Nearly Headless Nick?"

Sir Nicholas scoffed irritably and pulled at the scruff of his collar.

"Nearly headless?" Lily Evans asked curiously.

"I don't pride myself on being _nearly headless_, thank you very much," he told her tetchily. "My full name is Sir Nicholas De Mimsy Porpington and that is how I wish to be addressed."

"That's a long name, isn't it?" Sirius said, a grin playing at his lips.

Sir Nicholas rolled his eyes and floated away, muttering something that sound distinctly liked "blunt ax." Remus looked around and saw several other ghosts floating around the hall. There was one he noticed in particular, the ghost was seated at the Slytherin table and appeared to be covered in silver blood. He turned to Peter and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hmm?" Peter asked, looking up from his dish of chicken.

"Who's that ghost over there?" Remus asked, pointing a finger over his shoulder.

Peter twisted around in his chair to get a better look and spotted what Remus was referring to.

"Oh, I've heard of him. That's the Bloody Barron," Peter said. "He's the Slytherin ghost."

"Why's he covered in blood?"

Peter shrugged. "I don't think anyone knows except him."

The dinner cleared and was soon replaced by a large round of pudding. James and Sirius, who had eaten nearly everything in reach, still managed to find room for seconds on pudding. Peter and Remus shook their heads in wonder; there was no possible way that they could handle more food than they already had. Still, they managed to scrape down a few biscuits. Once the food had cleared away and Professor Dumbledore stood up, the hall fell silent.

"Now that we have all been befuddled in this delicious feast, I have some start of the term notices to hand out," Dumbledore said pleasantly, his silver beard glittering. "As many of you may or may not have noticed, a new plant has been planted on the grounds. It is a Whomping Willow and I must warn you that it is an ill-tempered tree. It will not hesitate in the slightest to harm any who go too near." There was a wave of curious whispers from the older students, who couldn't imagine why such a tree had been planted on the school grounds. But Dumbledore, however, did not elaborate on this. "Please be reminded that the Forbidden Forest is forbidden to all students, hence the appropriate title.

"Any student wishing to play on their house's Quidditch team may speak with Madam Sparks about tryouts. We are also in dire need of a commentator, so anyone wanting to commentate may also speak with her. Our caretaker, Mr. Filch, wants me to remind you all that magic in the corridors is forbidden. I think that is all you will need to know for now. Prefects, please escort your house to their common room. Good night."

The benches scrapped against the floor as the students stood up to follow their prefects. Remus, Sirius, James and Peter looked around and saw a girl with blonde hair calling for the first years to follow her. She led them through the Entrance Hall and up the flight of stairs they had gone up with Hagrid. They were led to the staircases, which moved from floor to floor, quickly changing their paths when they saw fit. The people in the portraits moved from frame to frame, watching in fascination at the new first years.

"Please mind the staircases," the prefect said bossily. "They change from time to time, so you want to watch them." She led them down a corridor once they got off the stairs and at the very end was a life-size portrait of a fat woman in a pink dress.

"Here is the portrait of the Fat Lady," the prefect explained, gesturing to the woman in the painting. "This is the entrance to Gryffindor Tower and the common room. The password to get in is Fairy Lights." The portrait swung aside, revealing an opening that they climbed through. When they came to the other side, the first years discovered they were in a warm room lit by a crackling fire. The room was furnished with scarlet, squashy armchairs and tables for them to do their work on. "First years, your dormitories are up these stairs, boys on the left and girls on the right. Good night, then."

The first years broke up, the girls going to their room and the boys going to theirs. The boys approached a door labeled "First Years" and when James pushed the door open they found a circular room complete with five four-poster beds. Their trunks were already next to their designated beds, waiting to be unpacked.

"There's my bed, I think," James said, pointing to the one closest to the door. He knelt down beside the trunk and pushed it on its back. "Yeah, this is my trunk," he confirmed upon seeing the gold inscription of "J.P." on the top.

"There's mine," Remus said, moving over and sitting down on the bed next to James's. He unclasped his trunk and pushed it open. On the very top of his robes and other clothing he saw the lunar chart his parents had gotten him. He turned to the month of September and saw, with shock, that the full moon was on the fifth, he hadn't realised it was so soon. He groaned inwardly, that tree Professor Dumbledore had been talking about, the Whomping Willow, was there for his use. When the time came for the full moons he would be smuggled out of the castle and through the Whomping Willow. So many precautions had to be taken; a building and a tunnel had been built in Hogsmeade just for his use. He didn't like the idea of it, but if he wanted to go to school, he had to deal with it.

"You okay there, Remus?" Sirius asked from his bed on Remus's right.

Remus's head jerked up and he saw that Sirius was watching him. "Yeah," he said quietly. "I'm fine. So, who do you reckon the fifth bed is for?"

At the precise moment that these words came out of Remus's mouth the dormitory door burst open and a fifth boy came in. He had a mass of black hair on his head and a pair of gold framed glasses. He smiled at his new roommates and immediately located his four-poster bed.

He sat down on it and turned his attention to the four boys. "Hi," he said cheerfully. "I'm Frank Longbottom."

"Sirius Black," Sirius said. Then, gesturing to the others in the room, he introduced them before they could even try. "That there's James Potter. That's Peter Pettigrew, and he's Remus Lupin."

Frank smiled at each of his roommates and began to pull the hangings around his bed, announcing that he was going to sleep early, as he would need a lot of time to discover where all of his classes were the next morning. James, Remus, Sirius and Peter thought this was a good idea, they were guaranteed to get lost at least once; they needed all the time they could get. So, each boy pulling the curtains around their beds, they got ready for bed and their first day at Hogwarts.


	3. Cruel Cranes and Potions

Chapter Three  
Cruel Cranes and Potions

"Do you remember which way the prefect led us last night?"

"I think it was down this hall."

"No, we came the opposite way."

"How do you know?"

"I don't, I'm just guessing."

"Face it, guys," James said, stopping and turning to face his roommates. "We're lost."

"Well, we can find someone to follow," Remus suggested, and then he looked around at the vacant corridor they were standing in.

"Brilliant suggestion," Sirius remarked sarcastically. He walked up to a portrait of a shifty-looking hag and gestured to it. "I'll just walk up to this portrait of an old hag and say 'which way to the Great Hall?'"

"That way," the hag said, pointing in the direction Peter had suggested – the hallway to the left, once they came out of the hallway they were in.

Sirius, evidently shocked, thanked the hag and hurried off with the others down the corridor. The old hag, as it turned out, had been just as shifty as she had looked. They were now farther away from the Great Hall as they had originally been. James checked his watch and saw that they had no time to get breakfast; as early as they had risen, it had not been much help.

"We haven't even gotten our schedules yet," Frank moaned, looking around as if he was hoping that the Great Hall would materialize out of thin air.

"Hey, there's something floating over there," Peter said, pointing to a pearly white figure in the distance. "Maybe it's a ghost that can help."

There was no better choice than this at the moment, so the boys dashed down to the pearly white figure and saw, with immense relief, that it was Nearly Headless Nick. He would be certain to lead them in the right direction.

"Sir Nicholas!" Peter called breathlessly, skilfully avoiding the use of Nick's nickname.

Nick turned his head so fast that it toppled sideways, revealing the single piece of sinew that held it on his neck. Scowling in embarrassment, Nick righted his head and said to the boys, "How may I help you?"

"We're lost," Remus explained. "How do we get to the Great Hall from here?"

"Follow me, you're far from it. How did you end up down here?" Nick began leading the four down another corridor.

"An old hag told us," Sirius muttered.

"Oh, you do not want to trust her. She loves tricking first years."

Nick finally brought the boys to the entrance of the Great Hall, which was currently emptying out as students got ready for class. They thanked the ghost and ran to find Professor McGonagall, the Gryffindor Head of House. She would have their schedules. They found her a little way up the Gryffindor table. She searched through the remainder of the course schedules in her hands and pulled out five, handing them to each boy respectively. Then, without even bothering to eat breakfast, they set off for their first class.

"What do we have first?" Remus asked, adjusting the strap on his book bag.

"Defence Against the Dark Arts," Frank replied, pointing to the top of his schedule. "It's on the third floor."

"Do you think we can make it there on time?" James questioned. "Or will another hag get us lost again?"

"I say we get revenge," Sirius proclaimed.

"On a painting?"

"Why not?"

James shook his head and instead concentrated on following the correct path to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. They had managed to locate the staircase when they were heading to the Great Hall; they only hoped they would be able to relocate it. They were luckier now than they had been earlier; they had a number of students to track. They had gotten up so early before that there had not been many students up that they could tail.

With very much success, the boys reached the third floor. They soon came upon the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom and peered inside. It appeared that they were the first to arrive. At the head of the room, sitting at his desk, was a middle-aged man with a very mean sneer. Instantly they knew they would not enjoy this man at all. The man looked up from his desk and spotted the boys.

"Are you going to stand out there all day?" he barked.

Without hesitation, the boys walked inside and took the seats at the very back. The teacher, upon spotting this, shook his head. He stood from his chair and advanced on them. He folded his arms across his chest and studied them through narrowed eyes. "In my past experience, students who sit in the back love causing trouble." The boys exchanged looks; the teacher didn't like them already. "You," he went on, point a finger directly in front of Remus's nose. "What's your name?"

"Remus Lupin," Remus replied quietly, his eyes never leaving the man's finger, which was still forced in front of his face.

A strange look flittered across the man's face, but it quickly vanished before anyone other than Remus could notice. "Well, Mr. _Lupin_, come and join me in the front."

Remus grudgingly got up from his seat and went to the front of his room. He shot a pleading look at the others from over his shoulder and James said, "Professor? Can I sit up there too? I can't see very well from back here," he added, indicating his glasses.

The professor eyed James suspiciously, but heeded his request anyway. James took the seat next to Remus and they waited, rather impatiently, for the professor to move Sirius, Peter and Frank to various parts of the classroom, none of them next to each other. While the rest of the class filed in, James turned to Remus.

"I have a feeling he won't be one of my favourite teachers," he said.

Remus nodded in agreement.

The professor cleared his throat loudly, bringing the attention to himself. He had pulled out a scroll and began reading off the names. "Black. Evans. Gordon. Longbottom. Lupin. Pettigrew. Potter. All here? Good." He placed the scroll on his desk. "I am Professor Crane. Before we begin our lesson I would like to bring to your attention some notices about the rules and regulations in my class. I do not tolerate talking out of turn. All homework assignments must be completed on time and in proper form, no smudges or cross outs or tears on the parchment. If I find this I will hand it back to you, not graded. You will speak respectfully to me; I do not appreciate any snide remarks about me while my back is turned. You will work quietly for the entire period, copy all the notes I give and read whatever I tell you to."

The class stared at Professor Crane with wide eyes. _This_ was a pleasant welcome? He might as well have told them to hop back on the train and never come back. He had not even bothered to welcome them to school or tell them what he had planned for the year; he just started barking out orders.

"Now that we have that out of the way," Crane continued, "we will begin the lesson with a little quiz." He waved his wand and seven pieces of parchment appeared on seven desks. "You have five minutes." The students scrambled for their quills and inkbottles and began.

There was one problem, however. They had not heard of anything that appeared on the quiz. They knew for sure that the material was not to be covered until at least their third year.

"James, what's a Hinkypunk?" Remus whispered out of the corner of his mouth. James shook his head slowly, he had heard of it before but he didn't know what it was. Having no clear idea of the answer, Remus scribbled down absolute nonsense, which James copied.

When Professor Crane called time he had no hesitation in collecting the papers and grading them on the spot.

"Black," he announced. "I would have thought any wizard would know that Red Caps inhabit deserted battlefields, same goes for you, Gordon." Sirius looked back at Alice Gordon and shrugged apologetically; he had not been able to supply her with a sufficient answer. "Evans, Grindylows have very _brittle_ fingers, you must _break_ their grip." Lily Evans shrunk in her chair, her face almost as red as her hair. "Pettigrew, boggarts are shape shifters, not water demons." Peter shook his head, how was he supposed to know that? He hadn't learned anything yet. "Lupin, Potter, in the future I would not appreciate you copying off of each other, especially when you're copying the _wrong_ answers. Detention for you both." James and Remus stared open mouthed at their teacher. What else were they supposed to do when they hadn't the faintest idea of what the answers to the test might be? "These marks are atrocious! What have you been doing for your entire lives?"

"Being kids?" Sirius suggested under his breath.

"Detention, Mr. Black!" Crane snarled. "I do _not _tolerate back sass. Obviously you all have a long way to go before you could even be _considered_ wizards and witches."

The remainder of the lesson did not go well. After the disastrous quiz, Crane took no mercy on them. He had them copying every trait of every creature that they had been quizzed on. The notes went into such detail that each creature took up three pages of parchment. No one dared to speak another word after Sirius had been given a detention, not even when Crane asked a question did anyone dare issue an answer. It came as a relief when the bell gonged.

"Black, Lupin, Potter, up here, now," Crane barked. The three boys groaned and went up to the man's desk. "I need to discuss your detentions with you," Crane said slowly, taking as much time as he could. "They will take place on the fifth."

James and Sirius nodded reluctantly. Remus, on the other hand, spoke.

"Err… Professor, I can't make it on the fifth."

James and Sirius gaped at their roommate. Was he out of his mind? If Crane had given them a detention on the first day of school, he was likely to get violent now.

"Excuse me, Mr. Lupin?" Crane said, feigning a look of surprise. "I don't believe you have the authority on deciding when you will fulfil a detention. You _will_ be at my office at six o' clock on the fifth with Black and Potter and you _will_ do your detention."

"Professor," Remus said, trying desperately to keep his voice in check. "I _can't_."

"You _can_, Mr. Lupin. Do not contradict me again."

"Remus," James said quietly. "Just forget it." It was clear that Remus was fighting a losing battle.

"No," Remus snapped, his voice sounding a little panicked. "I can't make a detention on the fifth!"

"Five points from Gryffindor!" Crane proclaimed. "Any more complaints and I will take away more points. Now get to class!"

The three boys left the room quietly. Only when they had checked their schedules and started out for their next class did any of them chance speaking.

"What was that about, Remus?" Sirius asked, looking at the boy in shock.

Remus shrugged and muttered some nonsense under his breath.

"Come again?" James said.

"Nothing," Remus replied, quickening his pace, getting ahead of the two boys.

"Remus, you looked like you were about to start panicking."

"It was nothing!" Remus insisted, not slowing down.

"Then why did you put up a fight?" Sirius asked, now jogging to keep up.

"No reason! I'll do my detention, just forget it!"

The boys skidded to a halt outside of the Transfiguration classroom and saw that they were late and Professor McGonagall had already begun speaking to the class. Her eyes darted up to the doorway when she heard them enter.

"Late, boys," she said.

"Professor Crane was giving us detention," Sirius replied, taking the seat to the right of Peter. They could see Professor McGonagall's nostrils flare; it was clear he was not her favourite colleague.

"Well, you three are not the first Professor Crane has assigned detention to on the first day of school," she said briskly. "He tends to get… overenthusiastic… about assignments." She took a breath and continued. "Now, as I was saying, Transfiguration is a difficult branch of magic and I will not tolerate foolish behaviour in my classroom. You will perform to the best of your abilities." With a swift flick of the wrist, Professor McGonagall had transfigured Lily Evans's desk into an overgrown rabbit and quickly changed it back to normal.

Clearly they would not be starting with anything nearly as advanced as what had just been displayed before them. Professor McGonagall distributed straws of hay to each of the Gryffindors and instructed them to transfigure them into needles. They then spent a painstaking class trying, with little result, to transfigure the hay. The only person to have any success whatsoever was James, who seemed to have a knack for the subject. His needle had turned a light silvery colour and was pointier than it had been.

After a rather simple period of note taking in Charms, the Gryffindor first years trouped down to the Great Hall for lunch, this time finding it with time to actually eat. Professor Flitwick, the tiny Charms professor, had not given them any practical work, which they were grateful for. They didn't think they could handle another period of failure. Lily Evans, however, seemed slightly disappointed by this news; she appeared to have been looking forward to that particular class.

They had Potions following lunch and they were free for the day. The teacher of Potions was Professor Slughorn, a round man who greatly enjoyed the pleasures in his life. It was also a well known fact that he favoured certain students over others. But anything was better than a downright mean teacher; at least Slughorn was supposed to be nice, if not a tad overdramatic.

"So," Peter said, trying to make conversation, "when did Crane assign your detention?"

"It's on Sunday," James replied, holding a fork over a plate of roast potatoes, looking for one to eat. Having picked one, he shoved it into his mouth and said, "'razy olf mab."

"Well put," Sirius said sarcastically.

James swallowed his mouthful. "He's crazy! What kind of teacher gives that kind of test on the first day of school?"

"Him?" Sirius suggested. James rolled his eyes. "He was a right git to Remus," Sirius added, turning to Remus, who had focused his energy on his lunch.

"What'd he do?" Peter asked inquisitively to Remus.

"Remus said he couldn't do detention that day," James explained when he saw that Remus wasn't going to. "And Crane said he had to, what if Remus had a really good reason? Crane's a git."

"Git is one word for him," Frank Longbottom said, coming over after searching for something at the other end of the table. "I heard some older students who had him after we did; they say he's the worst Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher they've had."

"They've had more than one?" Remus asked, speaking for the first time since they got there.

Frank nodded. "The seventh years have had at least three, one of them got sick, the other retired, and the third ran off with a banshee." He shrugged at the bewildered looks of his roommates. "Anyway, they also think he's mad. He gave them quizzes too and destroyed them all when he saw how badly they did. Set them on fire on one of the desks." Frank collected his books and began to leave, saying he wanted to get an early start to Potions.

"Of all the years they hire someone who's insane…" Sirius muttered.

"You think we should get a head start too?" Peter asked, also beginning to gather his belongings.

"You guys go on ahead," Remus said, standing up and picking up his bag. "I have to go find Professor McGonagall."

"You said you were going to do your detention," James pointed out.

"I know. I'm going to do it. I just needed to talk to her about something else."

James, Sirius and Peter said nothing; they simply shrugged and headed to the dungeons, while Remus went on his search for the Transfiguration teacher.

* * *

Remus appeared in the dungeons classroom ten minutes after Potions had started. The moment he entered the room he saw that the Gryffindors did not have Potions alone, they were with the Slytherins. Every student simultaneously lifted his or her head when Remus clambered in, breathless from running from the third floor to the dungeons, and some of the Slytherins snickered at the sight of him. The rotund man at the head of the room, Professor Slughorn, chuckled good-naturedly and motioned for Remus to take the seat beside a rather greasy haired boy.

"You must be Remus Lupin," he said as Remus sat down. Remus nodded and pulled out a notebook of parchment. "We were just going over the basics of Potion brewing." He pointed to a cauldron on the vacant desk at the front, which was steadily emitting steam. "This is the potion we will be brewing today. It's a simply boil curing potion, should you be unlucky enough to grow a boil." He chortled once more and rubbed his bushy moustache. "You will find all the ingredients you need in the storeroom, and the instructions are on the board. You will work with the person sitting beside you. You have one hour. Also, I thought it might be fun to turn this into a bit of a competition, for the spirit of the first day of school." Slughorn picked up a slab of chocolate on his desk. "To the two winners! I will check your potions at the end of class."

The students immediately set to work. Sirius and James had paired off, while Peter worked with Frank. Remus found that he was working with a boy named Severus Snape, and it was clear from the start that this boy had a knack for potion brewing. Without saying a word to Remus, Snape set off for the storeroom to get the ingredients. Remus looked at the cauldron, unsure if he should light it or not. He didn't have to wait very long to find out his answer.

"Why didn't you light it?" Snape snapped impatiently.

Remus jumped in his spot and hurried to light the cauldron, but accidentally knocking over the box of porcupine quills in the process. Remus stooped down to pick them up.

"Ow!" he hissed, pricking his finger on a quill. Sucking the finger he had pricked, which was now bleeding, he carefully picked up the remainder of the quills and placed them down on the table. When he straightened up, he saw that Snape had already begun concocting the potion, an annoyed expression etched on his face. Remus didn't need to ask what was bothering the Slytherin; it was clear that he did not like the idea of being paired with Remus, who had no potion making capabilities.

He did the best he could to help, which basically meant that he handed Snape ingredients when he was told to. Remus took to observing his classmates at work; the other pairs seemed to be getting along fine. James and Sirius were having a fun time, pretending that they were in charge of a very delicate project that could be destroyed with one wrong move. Peter and Frank were not acting quite like James and Sirius, but they were working so that they could actually brew a passable potion.

The hour took too long to end, but when it did Slughorn instructed them all to step away from their cauldrons while he walked around to inspect them. He peered over the rims, nodding mutely, giving the occasional smile to a successful pair. He did not seem, however, to find one that he greatly approved of. He then came upon the cauldrons belonging to James and Sirius, Lily Evans and Alice Gordon, and Remus and Snape. He seemed stumped on which to pick as the winner.

"I have never been in such a dilemma!" he exclaimed dramatically. "All three potions are expertly concocted! I don't think there can be just _two_ winners." He pointed his wand at the slab of chocolate and it divided itself up into six pieces. "Misses Evans and Gordon, and Misters Potter, Black, Snape and Lupin, you are our winners." He cheerfully handed out the pieces to the winners and dismissed the class.

"That was interesting," James commented as they came out of the dungeons and into the Entrance Hall.

"He seems nice," Peter said, coming up behind James.

"Anyone is nice compared to Crane," Sirius added. "At least we don't have that class until Monday."

That was the one bright side to the week, as it was already Thursday, they would not have to venture into that classroom again until the following week. This still did not help to settle the uncomfortable pit that had settled itself inside Remus's stomach. He couldn't do that detention, he really couldn't. But he knew it was useless to bring this to Professor McGonagall, Crane seemed like the person who would lie it away, saying that he had no idea as to what Remus was talking about. Instead he had just gone to ask when he would have to leave to go to the building where he would transform. He needed to leave at half past six; he would only be able to fulfil a half hour of detention, if any at all. He was always ill the day of a full moon… he didn't know if he would last.

Still, there was nothing he could do about it now. For the moment, he would just enjoy the time he had with his roommates.


	4. Shrieking Moons

Chapter Four

Chapter Four  
Shrieking Moons

The first two days of school passed by fairly quickly. After the hideous first day, in which they had to endure the grueling quiz and manners of Professor Crane, the lessons improved and became somewhat enjoyable. They had continued practising to transfigure the hay into needles in Transfiguration, and the entire class had finally managed it on Friday. They found out all too easily that the most boring class was History of Magic, taught by the ghost Professor Binns. They learned from the older students that Professor Binns had died of old age; he fell asleep in front of the fire in the staff room and when he awoke to teach class he simply floated out of his body. This did not seem, however, to have any affect on his teaching; he was the dullest teacher they had ever had to endure. The one good thing about the class was that it was good for catching up on lost sleep.

The Gryffindor first years got a bit of a surprise on Friday when they returned to the common room after finishing up their last lesson of the day – Charms. They saw on the notice board that they would be starting their flying lessons that Tuesday. James, in particular, looked excited about this. He couldn't wait to fly. The one downside to this was that it would be another lesson with the Slytherins. No Gryffindor could stand to have Potions with them; how were they to survive a second lesson with them? Still, they shook this thought out of their minds and enjoyed time while they still could.

Sunday dawned unnaturally early. The five boys had been sleeping in the dormitory when four of them were woken by a thud, which consequently woke the fifth. Sirius sleepily sat up and rubbed his eyes, looking around bewilderedly to see what had happened. He saw Remus sitting on the floor, massaging the back of his head. Apparently he had been sleeping too close to the edge of his bed and had toppled off it. Biting back a laugh, Sirius got up to help the boy up. James, Peter and Frank also seemed to have noticed this, as James asked if Remus was alright. Remus nodded irritably.

"Mate, sleep in the middle of your bed," Sirius advised, pulling Remus to his feet. It was then that he noticed that Remus looked sick. His face, which was always a shade or two paler than was normal, was now completely white. He also had a nauseous expression etched on his face and looked as if he could fall asleep once more. "Are you okay?" Sirius asked.

Remus nodded again in the same annoyed fashion. "I'm fine," he said, walking around to the other side of his bed and stooping down. He pulled his trunk out from under his bed, unlatched it, and began shifting through his belongings. He pulled his calendar out and looked at the date… September fifth, the first full moon of his Hogwarts career. He had to make up some excuse for his absence.

"Listen," he said slowly, still looking down at the calendar. "I have to go visit my mum later."

"Is that why you can't do detention?" James asked, sitting down on his bed. Remus nodded. "Didn't Crane know that?"

Remus shook his head. "No… it was stupid, I should have just told him."

"Why didn't you?" Peter asked, pulling his socks on.

"It's dumb… my mum… she gets sick all the time and I… I dunno, I just don't like talking about it. I get embarrassed."

Peter frowned. "That's no reason to be embarrassed."

"I know it's not."

"Hope she gets better, then," James said, sliding down to the floor, opening his trunk and grabbing some clothes out of it.

"Thanks, I'm sure my mum'll appreciate that," Remus said with a small smile.

The now awake boys decided there was nothing else to do but get dressed; there was no point in trying to go back to sleep now that they were awake. Sirius hesitated for a moment, asking again if Remus felt alright, and then went to get dressed when Remus assured him he was. Remus sat down on his bed and pulled the curtains around it. He did want to go back to sleep, but he could never do so, no matter how tired he was. At home on the days of full moons, he was able to sleep in his room for a long time, his parents staying clear of it until Remus emerged. But he couldn't hide in his room all day at school. True he didn't have classes; it would still look odd if he slept all day. _He_ wasn't the sick one, his mother was. He had to maintain that stance; he could let his cover slip. He had lost too many friends to risk it again.

He waited silently while his roommates bustled about the room, fighting for the bathroom. James wanted to go first, as he was keen on going down to the Quidditch Pitch to watch the Gryffindor team practise. Sirius, however, wanted to hurry down to the Great Hall so he could get his favourite seat at the Gryffindor table. Peter and Frank, they just wanted to get into the bathroom first to spite James and Sirius. Remus was glad they were arguing about this, it kept the spotlight off him. As he watched James trying to pull himself out of Sirius's grip, a thought occurred to him. He could just sneak into the bathroom, change and find some place in the castle to hide out. He furtively retrieved some clothes out of his trunk and tiptoed to the bathroom.

"Hey," James said suddenly, looking around and noticing that they were one person short. "Where'd Remus go?"

"James," Peter said, jerking his thumb towards the bathroom door.

"Bugger."

* * *

The fight for the bathroom ceased once Remus reappeared. He discovered that his roommates had settled themselves on the floor of the dormitory, fully dressed, and were trading Chocolate Frog cards, acting as if they had not just been vying for the bathroom moments before. He shook his head, only his roommates were capable of forgetting something in the span of ten minutes. He waited quietly for them to realise that the lavatory was free, and once Peter noticed, he dashed for it before James, Sirius or Frank could do anything.

The boys separated after breakfast. James and Sirius went down to the Quidditch Pitch to watch the Gryffindor team practise, Peter wanted to go down to the greenhouses and ask Professor Grines about the essay he assigned and Frank went to the library to look for a book on hexes. Remus was left to wander about aimlessly. He didn't mind, however, he liked keeping to himself on the days of full moons; it allowed him some peace and quiet before the turmoil of the night. He thought about going to the Hospital Wing, as he was developing a terrible headache, but when he looked inside the infirmary he saw that the nurse was far too occupied with the ten patients already in there. She couldn't drop them all for him, it would look suspicious.

He found himself out on the sunlit grounds, making his way towards the lake. He could see a comfortable area in front of a beech tree that overlooked the lake. He could settle himself there and rest his eyes for a while, maybe that would ease the pain in his head. He sat down on the springy grass, leaned his head against the tree trunk and shut his eyes. He really didn't want to do his detention; Professor Crane should have known there was no way possible that he could get enough energy to do whatever task he had up his sleeve. What didn't that man understand about it? Actually, Remus knew that Crane understood the situation perfectly; he was just a bigot who took out his prejudices on those unfortunate to have them.

He winced as his head took a painful throb. Rubbing a spot in the centre of his forehead, he thought of what his friends would say when he wasn't in school the next day. He laughed lightly, he hadn't used that word in a long time – friends. He had only known his roommates for a few days, but he could honestly call them friends. The last people he called friends ended up turning on him the moment they caught wind of his lycanthropy. They said horrible things to him, things that should be said to no one, especially a ten year old boy. After that he never got close enough to anyone so he could avoid the disappointment after they left him.

His roommates - especially James, Sirius and Peter – were different. He couldn't help but get close to them, and he couldn't even try to when they shared a room. They were just the kind of people that were fun to be with. James was always eager for one adventure or another. Sirius always had a witty remark ready; the remark may occasionally have been offensive, but nothing dramatically so. Even Peter - who did not have the same outgoing personality than the other two, who was more reserved – was still one of the nicer people Remus had met in his life; he was considerate of others. Frank, who Remus had not gotten as close to but still liked, never seemed to get mad. The only person who could really set him off was Professor Crane, and he could make the happiest person alive become enraged. Remus couldn't risk losing them, the first true friends he had had in years. He didn't know if he could handle it.

He must have fallen asleep at some point, because he soon heard very loud and cheerful voices calling out his name.

"Oh, Remus Lupin!" called one of the voices in a singsong fashion. Remus sleepily opened his eyes and saw through a blurry haze the outlines of James and Sirius approaching him.

"You know," Sirius said, stopping and folding his arms across his chest, "you sleep a lot."

Remus rolled his eyes; he slept no more than the average person - the train and the present moment were exceptions. "Yeah, well… I probably won't sleep much tonight," he said irritably, standing up and putting his hands in his pockets.

James nodded understandingly. "That's tough, you're mother being sick and all. Has she been sick long?"

"No… it was kind of sudden."

"Wow," Peter said quietly. "Well, hopefully she won't be sick too long."

Remus managed a small smile for his friend. "Yeah, hopefully she won't be."

They had an entire day to kill before James, Remus and Sirius had to depart for detention. It was already time for lunch, but Remus wasn't hungry, and James, Sirius and Peter had stuffed themselves with Chocolate Frogs when they went back into the castle. So the four boys skipped lunch and milled about the castle. They ran into a group of Ravenclaw first years who were talking excitedly about how one of them had won ten points for brewing an exceptional potion in Slughorn's class.

"I doubt that really happened," Sirius muttered under his breath. "Slughorn was fawning over our potions and all we got was chocolate."

They passed the hours by playing several grueling matches of chess and Exploding Snap. They played more rounds of chess rather than cards, as Remus, even in his weakened state, was an obvious master at the game. He didn't lose a single match and his friends were tired of having ashes all over their faces. Wizards Chess was a game he was less proficient at. James and Sirius, however, were considerably good at it. Peter, who was rather skilled at Gobstones, watched on the sidelines, as they had no Gobstones set to spare.

When six in the evening rolled around, James, Sirius and Remus bid goodbye to Peter and grudgingly made their way to Crane's office.

"Remus," James said as they trudged up the flight of stairs leading to the third floor, "go to Madam Pomfrey, you look like you're going to be sick."

It was partially true; Remus was not _going_ to be sick. He felt his stomach lurch violently and he ran up the stairs ahead of his friends, presumably to the bathroom. James looked at Sirius and shrugged. Wasn't it Remus's _mother_ who was sick? They continued the walk to Crane's office, knowing better than to wait for Remus, as he would probably be a while. They wanted to purposely take their time, out of pure spite for their professor, but knew that this was not the best option. Maybe they would linger if and when they had to serve another detention, for now they figured they would do what the man wanted of them.

They entered the classroom to see that Professor Crane had several tanks out on the desks. Curious, the boys peered inside and saw that they were none other than Flobberworms. James could only imagine what Crane wanted them to do with them; his family's garden had always been plagued with them, and so he knew all about them. He didn't fancy having to work with them though. He and Sirius looked around and saw that Crane was nowhere in sight, this would be good for Remus at least. If the teacher was late and Remus arrived before then, Crane would never know that one of his detainees had been late.

Unfortunately, Crane strolled out of his office a minute after James and Sirius had entered. He swept his eyes across the classroom and a faint frown appeared on his face. To the untrained eye he came off as concerned to Remus's whereabouts, but Sirius could tell that the professor was enjoying himself. Clearly he was glad that he was able to get Remus in trouble for lateness. He placed his briefcase down on his desk and heaved a long, suffering sigh.

"Well, Mr. Lupin will have to serve extra detention for his lateness then," he said to himself, purposely loud enough for James and Sirius to hear.

"That's not fair, he got sick," Sirius snapped.

"And would you like to join Mr. Lupin in his extra detention, Mr. Black?" Crane questioned viciously.

Sirius stared at Crane and didn't blink once. "I _will_ join him."

"Fine, we'll work out another detention for tomorrow evening."

"What?" said a new voice from the doorway.

They spun around to see Remus, looking very green, standing in the doorway, holding his hand on the frame and a befuddled expression on his face.

"You have detention tomorrow evening for being late," Crane explained, as if it was the most simply explanation in the entire world.

Remus's eyes bulged; he looked as if he could be sick again. "Professor," he said, his voice strained. "_I_ _can't do detention tomorrow!_"

"Do you have a problem, Mr. Lupin?"

"Yes, I have a problem! I can't do it! You know I can't!"

Crane's smile seemed to get slightly longer. "Would you care to express your concerns with me now?"

Remus shook his head and reluctantly walked further into the room. Crane grinned and gestured to the crates on the tables. "Flobberworm mucus is needed for the Potions class. I have kindly consented to Professor Slughorn to provide him with it." Sirius had to restrain himself from snorting in disgust; _Crane_ wasn't going to be the one providing Slughorn with his potion ingredients. "You three have the job of extracting the mucus from the Flobberworm."

"And how do we do that?" Sirius asked, keeping his voice as polite as he could, though it was near impossible.

"The nostrils are quite visible on the Flobberworms; you will simply squeeze them and collect the mucus in the buckets I have provided for you." He sat down at his desk and took out some papers to grade. "Oh, yes, I forgot," Crane said suddenly, his smile widening. "There will be no need for gloves."

Resentfully, the boys sat down at the desks and got to work. The task turned out to be just as disgusting as it sounded. If the boys weren't careful when they were squeezing the Flobberworms' nostrils, they would get an eyeful of mucus. That, unfortunately, happened to James, who swore up a storm as he searched blindly for something to wipe it off. Sirius and Remus couldn't help but notice that Crane seemed unperturbed by James's swearing and didn't even look up when James needed help.

They worked for a half hour before Remus, looking, if possible, more sick than before, got up and went towards Crane's desk.

Crane looked up when he saw Remus approaching. "Yes, Mr. Lupin?"

Remus was quiet, James and Sirius could see him glance down at his watch and his face paled another shade. "I have to go," he murmured.

"Excuse me, Mr. Lupin?" Crane said, feigning sudden deafness and leaning forward over his desk.

"I have to go," Remus repeated loudly.

Crane looked outraged, as if this was the worst possible thing a person could say to him. "No, you will stay here and complete your detention."

"No."

"Do you mind repeating that?"

"No! Merlin, I have to _go_! Now!"

Without waiting for her another snide remark from his professor, Remus turned around, weaved his way through the rows of desks, and dashed down the hallway. James and Sirius looked up at Professor Crane, expecting him to be seething but, to their utter surprise, he was smiling. It was a rather twisted smile, like he knew something that they didn't. He probably did; he was acting like he had predicted every one of Remus's reactions and had manipulated them to get the boy panicked. The boys knew the man was slightly off his rocker, but they didn't think he was _that_ horrible, to scare an eleven year old boy like that. Remus looked terrified; they couldn't imagine a teacher milking that for all it was worth. It wasn't as if Remus had a bad excuse either, his mother was sick. Actually, _Remus_ was sick as well, how could a teacher disrespect that?

* * *

Remus appeared at the door to the Hospital Wing ten minutes later and found a rather harassed looking Madam Pomfrey waiting for him. When he arrived she began muttering about how tardiness was not acceptable in this case. Remus tried to argue that it had not been his fault, he had detention. Madam Pomfrey, however, did not seem to hear him and instead she just led him down the corridors as stealthily as she could. Discretion was essential in this case; Professor Dumbledore stressed that Remus could not be seen leaving the castle with the nurse, it would raise questions. Remus had no objections to this.

The nurse hovered over Remus as they walked down onto the grounds, into the cool September air. The sky cast a pinkish glow over the grounds, brilliantly illuminating them. They could see the Whomping Willow in the distance, flailing its boxing glove branches in the air, eager to take out any who dared come too close. Remus and Madam Pomfrey walked cautiously forward, ready to dodge any wayward branches that came their way. Madam Pomfrey stooped down and picked up a peculiarly long branch. Dumbledore had gone to any measure necessary for Remus, including using something as inconspicuous as a branch to get into the secret passageway.

This would be the first and only time Madam Pomfrey would venture past the Whomping Willow before Remus's transformation, and she was not eager on doing so, as they were cutting it close. The full moon would be rising within twenty minutes, they had to hurry. The tree froze as the nurse prodded a small knot in its trunk. Motionless, and therefore harmless, the Whomping Willow looked as if it had never moved at all. She pointed to an opening at the bottom of the tree trunk and motioned for Remus to slide through, she would prefer taking up the rear.

The tunnel was dark and damp, with a musty smell filling the air. Even if someone had accidentally stumbled upon this passage, they would not want to continue with its eerie feel. Remus found himself wishing that he was out of the tunnel, either back on the grounds or in the building, he didn't care. Madam Pomfrey nudged him forward and he suddenly noticed how slowly he had been walking. He quickened his pace and, in what seemed like no time at all, they found themselves facing a stone staircase. This was it, the entrance to the house.

There was a door at the end of the stairs and it opened to what appeared to be a living room. It was well-furnished, giving off the impression that the building had been constructed for living purposes, not a werewolf transformation. Remus knew that this room would not stay as neat as it was at the moment, his werewolf side was always violent, and now it had more room to roam, instead of the confines of a shed. Madam Pomfrey again prodded Remus, directing him towards another flight of stairs. This set of stairs stopped off in a bedroom, complete with a four-poster bed. Madam Pomfrey nodded for Remus to sit down on the bed.

"I will be back for you in the morning," she said, trying to keep her voice as businesslike as she could. She edged towards the door, knowing that it would happen at any minute, and that this innocent boy before her would soon be replaced with a monster. She pulled the door open and stepped outside, stopping only long enough to wish Remus good luck.

Remus watched the nurse go and suddenly felt very alone. When he transformed at home his parents were always close by. He knew they couldn't sit next to him while it happened, but they always stood by, sometimes even sleeping on the porch until the sun rose and Remus was human once more. He bit his lip and fell back on the bed, curling up in a ball. It was going to happen soon, he could feel his bones aching at an unnatural level. They were getting ready to change shape, to accommodate his wolfish form. He took a deep breath and shut his eyes; maybe that would lessen the pain.

Steadily, the full moon's light filled the dark room of the building and the pain fully hit. Remus clutched his stomach and groaned loudly. His bones snapped and cracked, his back arched. His eyes turned from their greenish colour to yellow. His teeth sharpened and lengthened into fangs, fangs eager for flesh to bite. Grey fur sprouted over his skin, releasing an unpleasant tingling sensation. His cries of pain echoed around the room, seeping through the walls and into the streets of Hogsmeade for all the villagers to hear.

Where a boy of eleven had once sat was now a werewolf, hunched forward, jaws snapping. It sniffed around, bemused. There was nothing there for him to eat. That wasn't right. He needed meat, blood, and there was none there for him. What could he do? The werewolf stretched its jaw and resorted to the only solution – he would bite and scratch himself. The wolf howled as its fangs broke through its fur and skin, drawing blood. The werewolf's shrieks of pain rang loudly, bouncing off the walls.

And thus, the Shrieking Shack was named.


	5. Revenge, Strange Behaviors and Detention

Chapter Five  
Revenge, Strange Behaviours and Detentions

"No, that's too obvious; it has to be more… I dunno… _less_ obvious."

"What do _you_ suggest, then?"

"I suggest we hang him up by his knickers for everyone to see."

"Of course, because he _wouldn't _notice us lifting him up in the air by his underpants. Brilliant suggestion, Sirius."

"At least I'm _trying_."

"There's trying and then there's being stupid."

Sirius groaned and shoved James off his bed onto the floor. Sirius, James and Peter had been sitting on Sirius's bed, furiously trying to come up with a plan to get revenge on Crane. It was well after midnight, but they were not tired at all. James and Sirius were still far too disgusted with their detention task and Crane's treatment of their friend to even think about sleep. When they told Peter what had happened, any thoughts he might have had of sleeping were quickly put on hold. They were not having much success, however, as they had not thought up a good idea. Peter then suggested putting a Dungbomb in his office.

"We can't just do a Dungbomb in his office," James said, lying back on the floor. "That's too played out, it's been done before."

"Yeah, but not to _him_," Peter said, resting his head against the bedpost.

"If he's been a teacher at other schools, it has definitely happened to him."

Sirius fell backwards onto his pillow and stared up. He didn't think that he could have ever despised someone so much that wasn't in his family, but Crane was the limit. There was no other way to describe him except as a git. He was so heartless to Remus when he had an honest reason as to why he couldn't attend that detention. But Crane didn't care; he didn't care if Remus's mother was sick, that Remus himself was ill. He seemed to find it funny, actually. Sirius shook his head.

"I hope Remus's mother is alright," he said, sitting up and resting back on his elbows.

"Hopefully she won't be sick too long," James agreed, finally coming up off the floor and dropping down on Remus's empty bed.

"Didn't you two say that _he_ was sick too?" Peter asked curiously.

"Yeah, he was," Sirius confirmed, nodding his head. "He got sick right before our detention."

Peter cringed, but said nothing more.

"Come on," James said, looking at his watch. "We should get to bed, classes tomorrow."

Revenge would have to wait.

* * *

When the boys awoke the next morning it was to discover that Remus's bed was still empty; this did not surprise them, though. He probably would not be returning until the evening, wanting to spend as much time possible with his mother. There was just one problem: He had another detention with Crane, as did Sirius. This detention paid off in one way; when they finally thought up their scheme, Sirius would be able to put it into action while he was in Crane's classroom. They would not give any part of it to Remus, who would most likely not be up to it and not all that eager to get further on Crane's bad side.

They dressed and headed down to breakfast. As they entered the Great Hall they immediately noticed the absence of Professor McGonagall from the Staff Table. She was always there, usually conversing with Professor Slughorn. The boys found it odd that she should not be there that morning. Still, they decided not to think on it and continued their discussion from the night before – how were they going to get Crane back? What were they going to do to make him absolutely miserable as retribution for making _them_ absolutely miserable?

"I still like the knickers idea," Sirius insisted, loading bacon onto his plate.

"And how do you suggest we do that without him knowing it's us?" Peter questioned, searching for the goblet of pumpkin juice.

"We have magic, don't we?"

"Yeah, but we've only been in school a few days; we haven't learned anything that would help us," James said pointedly.

"Of course _we_ haven't."

"What are you getting at?"

"Why don't we ask some of the older students?"

"And why would they help a bunch of first years?" Peter asked incredulously.

"Because hatred of Crane is universal!" Sirius exclaimed, a strange glint in his eyes. "Who _couldn't_ hate a git like that? Even the Slytherins can't stand him!"

James and Peter looked at each other, both thinking the same thing – Sirius had lost his mind. But, despite his lack of brain power at the moment, he did have a very good point. Every student they had come upon had the same dislike of the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. They would all want to see him suffer certain well-deserved humiliation. Maybe they would enlist the help of some of the older students; Sirius's knickers in the air idea did have a nice ring to it. If only they could pull it off.

Peter opened up his copy of the _Daily Prophet_ and flattened it out on the table so he could read it. Sipping his pumpkin juice, he read a story on the front page about a building in Hogsmeade that some were speculating held violent spirits.

"This is interesting," he murmured, catching the attention of James and Sirius.

"What is?" they asked simultaneously.

Peter pointed to the story and the boys read. It explained how the night before in a building that had been recently built, and never used, was now producing loud cries. Banging noises filled the air and the howls continued through the entire night. The villagers of Hogsmeade suspected that poltergeists were behind it. They had labeled the building the Shrieking Shack.

"Hmm, I wonder if there really are poltergeists in there," James wondered, biting off a piece of his bacon.

"Could be," Sirius surmised. "Wouldn't be too surprising."

They set off for their first class, which was unfortunately Defence Against the Dark Arts. They walked in and took their usual seats, waiting leisurely for Crane to appear. They honestly didn't care how long it took for him to come into the classroom. Frank, Alice and Lily all filed in a minute after the boys and also took the same stance as the boys did. Crane could have been sick in bed, for all they cared. Crane was not sick in bed, to their intense dismay, and came into the classroom only three minutes after his students had. He took out the class roster and read off the names.

"Black, Evans, Gordon, Longbottom… hmm and where is Mr. Lupin?"

"He went to visit his mother," Sirius said.

"Was he authorized to do this?" Crane wondered, looking up thoughtfully at the ceiling.

James had to work hard to keep from saying the nasty comment he was so bursting to say. "If Professor Dumbledore has no problem with it, then he must have been authorized."

"I don't recall the Headmaster saying anything of the sort."

"Professor McGonagall didn't have a problem with it either," Peter added, knowing very well that if the Head of House didn't saying anything otherwise, Remus was certainly allowed to go see his sick mother.

"I'll have to check on this," Crane went on, as if he had not heard a word Peter said. He looked up when he saw Lily Evans's hand in the air.

"Miss Evans?" he asked.

"Why don't you believe them when they say Remus went to see his mother?" she asked. She had not asked this in a rude manner; she sounded like she was simply interested.

Crane looked like he was going to get violent. Luckily for Lily, he calmed himself down enough to say, "Why is that any of your business?" And, luckily, Lily was smart enough to not answer that question. "Now that we have _that_ out of the way…."

The lesson was surprisingly bearable. Crane seemed to be in an oddly good mood, which could only be attributed to the fact that his least favourite student was absent. He spent the period, yet again, teaching them about the Dark creatures that they had been quizzed on the first day of school. This time, fortunately, he did not go so deep into detail that his students were struggling to keep up, and they also only used one sheet of parchment for notes.

During break the boys headed up to Gryffindor Tower to deposit the books from their morning classes and collect their History of Magic textbooks. As they were approaching the portrait of the Fat Lady, they saw an all too familiar back of the head. Remus was pleading with the Fat Lady to let him in. The Fat Lady usually kept the same password for long periods of time, but she had had too much wine with her friend Violet and had changed the password early as a result.

"Please, I don't know what the new password is!" he begged.

"No password, no entrance," the Fat Lady said tipsily, though somehow managing to keep the entrance firmly in place.

"I wasn't here last night," Remus explained. "I didn't know you changed it!"

"Mulled mead," James said, coming up on the right of Remus. The Fat Lady swung her portrait open and the four boys climbed inside. James led the way to the dormitory, and it was only until they were all assembled in the room did they get a good look at Remus.

"Remus," James said, turning to face his friend. "How's your mum – what happened to you?"

Remus did not look as bad as he did when Madam Pomfrey picked him up at the building, but he still looked beaten up. He had a dark bruise under his left eye, which stood out twice as much on his pale face. He had three presently healing scratches along his right cheek and his lip was swollen. Madam Pomfrey had spent the majority of her time healing his more critical wounds; she had gone to heal the rest, but Remus, eager to escape, said he could tell people his dog got too rough with him. He did have a particularly restless dog that tended to jump on him a lot; it wasn't so far from the truth.

"Nothing," he said quickly, whirling around and heading for his bed. He sat down and picked up his book bag, placing it in his lap. He began shifting through its contents, needing something to do with his hands. His friends walked over to him and bent forward slightly, trying to get a better look at his face, which was staring determinedly at the floor.

"Remus, have you looked in a mirror lately?" Sirius questioned, folding his arms across his chest. Remus shook his head fiercely, ignoring the throbbing sensation he received in return. "Maybe you should. What beat you up last night?"

Remus bit his lip, wincing in pain when his teeth pierced the swollen portion. "Nothing did… My dog… he likes to jump on people." He chanced looking up at his roommates to see if they believed him and he saw that they didn't buy his story for a second.

"A dog couldn't bruise your eye like that," James said, pointing to Remus's blackened eye.

"I walked into something!" Remus snapped, his patience wearing thin. "I'm klutzy! What else do you want from me?"

James stepped back in shock; in the few days that he had known Remus he had never pictured him having an outburst. He assumed this came from Remus having to visit his sick mother; it was enough to put anyone on edge. "Sorry," he apologised.

"It's fine," Remus said, his voice calming down somewhat. He got up from his bed and swung his schoolbag over his shoulder. "What class have we got next?" he asked.

"Err… History of Magic," Sirius replied, pulling his folded up schedule out of his pocket and consulting it.

Remus frowned and sat back down. "Teachers aren't expecting me in class anyway."

"We'll see you after class, then," Peter said, nodding at this friend and collecting his History of Magic textbook.

Remus watched silently as James, Sirius and Peter left for their next class. Once they were gone he laid down and looked blankly up at the ceiling. He could hardly remember anything from the night before, aside from the usual excruciating pain of transforming. Though he couldn't remember any specific details, he felt that it had been much worse than usual. He could only connect this with the fact that it was his first transformation away from home, and he had not been in the best of moods. His parents had explained that this might happen, but he had not thought to take them seriously.

This thought reminded him that he had promised his parents he would write after his first transformation; they would not rest until they heard from him. They had always been at his side when everything was over, ready to help him in any way he needed. Now he had to take care of himself. Even with Madam Pomfrey there, it was his own responsibility. He sat up once more and looked around for any spare parchment and quills he could use. Sirius usually left some scattered on the floor. Sure enough, when he glanced in the direction of the boy's bed, he saw some quills, parchment and an ink bottle half shoved under his bed.

He picked the items up and rested his stomach on the floor, propping himself on his elbows. He scratched his chin with the tip of the quill while he thought of what to write. He couldn't tell his parents that he was fine, because he wasn't. But he didn't want to upset them by telling them that he was feeling much more ill than he ever did. That detention the night before didn't help matters either; extracting the Flobberworm mucus made him, if possible, even sicker. He groaned suddenly, remembering that he had another detention to fulfil with Sirius that night. He hated Crane.

He sucked on his swollen lip and put the quill to paper.

_Mum and Dad,_

_I got back from my transformation okay; Madam Pomfrey brought me to the Hospital Wing while I was still sleeping, so I woke up there. Madam Pomfrey took good care of me, all I have are some bruises and cuts. There's not much else to say about last night. I've been better, but nothing else. I've made some friends, my roommates – James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Frank Longbottom. They're interesting people to live with, especially when Sirius is plotting revenge on portraits of old hags. _

Remus paused and scratched his chin once more, receiving inky blots splattered on his skin. He considered writing about how Crane was treating him, but thought against it. He didn't want to upset his parents about it when he could handle the situation.

_I'll write again soon.  
- Remus. _

_

* * *

_

"I'm serious, this isn't a stupid idea."

"Yes it is."

"It is not; don't you want to humiliate this guy?"

"Of course I do, but your idea is just dumb."

Sirius stepped backwards, looking highly affronted. He, James and Peter had been scouting the castle since they had left History of Magic, looking for some older students who would be likely to help them in their quest to serve justice. Every student that they had caught sounded interested at first, until Sirius pitched his idea of hanging Crane up by his knickers; they didn't want to get _too_ far on his bad side. They had just approached Jacob Finley, a seventh year Gryffindor. He, like all the others, sounded intrigued when they initially spoke to him, but was turned off when he thought their idea was stupid.

They watched dismally as Finley made his way through the crowds of students, trying to get away from the boys.

"I think we need a new plan," Peter said.

James nodded. "I told you in the first place that your idea wouldn't work."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "At least _I_ had an idea."

"A dumb one."

Shrugging in defeat, Sirius checked his watch and saw that he had to leave for his detention with Crane in a half hour. He left the Great Hall and headed up to Gryffindor Tower, intending to find Remus so they could go and face their doom together. After delivering the password to the Fat Lady, he made a beeline towards the spiral staircase leading up to the first year boys' dormitory. When he entered the room, he saw that the curtains were drawn around Remus's bed. He pulled them back around and saw an exhausted Remus sleeping. Sirius didn't want to wake him, knowing the he must have stayed awake for a good portion of the night with his mother, but Remus would be worse off if he missed another detention with Crane.

He lightly shook Remus's shoulder in an attempt to wake him. Remus mumbled some nonsense and waved his hand toward Sirius's arm, trying to swat it away. Sirius shook a little harder and slowly Remus's eyes opened. He blinked against the light and looked up at Sirius, wondering why on Earth he had to wake him.

"We have detention," Sirius said.

Remus groaned, annoyed. He had completely forgotten. He really didn't want to go, but had no choice unless he wanted to have a third detention in three days. He sleepily sat up and rubbed his eyes. "I'll meet you there," he said to Sirius. "I have to change."

"I'll wait," Sirius said, sitting down on his own bed.

"You'll be late for it, then."

"Nope, we've still got a half hour to get there."

Remus nodded mutely and knelt down beside his bed to get some clothes out of his trunk. Once he had a clean set of clothes and robes, he sat back on his bed and yanked the curtains around. When he reemerged, he and Sirius made their way down the familiar path to Professor Crane's classroom. As they walked, Sirius relayed the idea of getting revenge on Crane to Remus. He seemed to find it somewhat funny, but wasn't too keen on having any actual part it in. The man already hated him; it wouldn't be a smart idea to encourage that any further. So he was relieved when Sirius said that they had already planned on not giving him a direct part in it, he could play the part of a spectator.

The door to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom was open when they came upon it, but they did not see Crane inside. Sirius would have taken advantage of this and choose to linger outside, but Remus still looked worn out and it would be better for him to sit down, even if it was in that man's room. Resigned to the worst, Sirius and Remus entered the room and took two seats at the front of the room, as it would only infuriate Crane more if they sat in the back, a thought that was tempting but best avoided. They waited for five minutes in silence, and still the professor didn't appear.

"This is great," Sirius muttered. "He gives you detention for being late and he doesn't even show up on time."

Remus nodded, his forehead in his hand. He could be catching up on lost sleep right now, instead of sitting in a classroom.

Sirius frowned slightly. "If he doesn't show up in ten minutes, want to leave?" Remus made some noise in his throat that Sirius took for a "yes."

The ten minutes passed by slowly, but Professor Crane seemed to have forgotten about his detainees, which he would most likely regret the next day. Sirius glanced down at his watch and saw that time was up. He tapped Remus on the shoulder, as Remus had fallen asleep where he sat, and motioned for his friend to follow him. Just as they reached the door, a voice from behind stopped them.

"Where do you think you're going?"

They wheeled around to see Professor Crane standing at his desk, looking as though he had been standing there the entire time and had anticipated their escape. He raised an eyebrow, waiting for a response.

"We didn't think you were coming," Sirius explained. It wasn't a very farfetched assumption, as Crane had taken his time getting to the classroom.

"So you just decided to leave?"

"We've been waiting fifteen minutes."

"That still does not give you permission to leave without my consent. Did you think that I'd forgotten about you?"

"That's what it looked like."

"In that case, maybe you should go. You need your sleep for classes tomorrow, it's a shame I don't have you tomorrow. You could have taken a specially prepared test or perhaps stayed after class to discuss a third detention."

Sirius felt Remus tense beside him; this man was taking this too far. "Professor," Sirius said, trying with difficulty to keep the anger out of his voice, "what did we do wrong?"

"That really is a ridiculous question, Mr. Black," Crane chuckled.

"_You're_ really a ridiculous _person_," Remus hissed under his breath. Sirius side-glanced at his roommate, was he asking to be killed?

"What was that, Mr. Lupin?"

"I said you're ridiculous!" Remus repeated, his voice reaching a volume that he didn't think he would be able to reach in his current state. "Why do you keep giving us a hard time? We didn't _do_ anything!"

"Remus…" Sirius said warningly, but Remus didn't hear him, or chose to ignore him.

"I said I couldn't do detention yesterday and you know why I couldn't! You're taking advantage of what's going on!"

"I am your teacher, I have the right to tell you when you can and cannot fulfil your detention."

"Not with this, you can't."

Sirius looked between confusedly Crane and Remus and then back to the professor. For a moment, he could have sworn he saw Crane's hand grip his wand, but the next he was sure he had imagined it. Instead, Crane's shoulders relaxed and he forced a smile on his face, though it came out something like a grimace.

"You're absolutely right, Mr. Lupin," he said in his most pleasant voice. "I have not been fair to you."

Remus was shocked into muteness.

"You two may go; you do not have to do detention." Sirius and Remus were still too shocked to move. It only took the threat of fifty points from Gryffindor to make them leave. Once in the hallway, Sirius noticed Remus's face had gone pale once more.

"You're going to be sick again, aren't you?"

Without a nod or word, Remus dashed past Sirius in the direction of the bathroom. Sirius folded his arms across his chest; there was something strange about that kid.


	6. Dangerous Games and Christmas Plans

Chapter Six  
Dangerous Games and Christmas Plans

September slowly faded into October and the boys had still not come up with a satisfactory revenge plan for Crane. Being that they had only one month of magical knowledge under their belts, they did not know enough to perform something overly extravagant. They had started their flying lessons with Madam Sparks and the Slytherins the day after Remus returned from his first full moon, and it could have gone off slightly better. The Slytherins had a particularly fun time goading Remus and Peter, who were not proficient fliers at all. Madam Sparks did not put a stop to this, as she was deaf in her left ear, and that was the side the Slytherins were standing on. The boys wondered if this was the true reason, or just a convenient excuse.

James proved to be quite the flier. The first piece of instruction they had been given was to place their right hands above their broomsticks and say, in a very clear voice, "up." James's broom jumped right into his hand, while other brooms merely flopped over, or raised a few inches in the air before losing interest and dropping down again. Sirius's broom was a bit more obedient than Remus's and Peter's, who had both received sharp knocks in the face by their brooms. Sirius's was in his hand on his third attempt. One of the Slytherins, whom they recognised as Severus Snape, had himself a good laugh at Remus's and Peter's expense. Remus and Peter either did not notice this, or chose to pretend they hadn't, but not Sirius and James.

Despite the fact that they had not learned magic advanced enough to humiliate a teacher, they had learned some useful hexes in their spare time. James and Sirius had been looking for the opportune moment to test them out, and what better reason to? At first, they decided they might let Snape slide, if he backed off in good time. But he continued to mock Remus and Peter, who still refused to say anything. After ten minutes James and Sirius had had enough. They whipped out their wands and shouted, very loudly, "_Densaugeo!" _With the combination of both of their spells, Snape's teeth immediately grew to the ground.

Madam Sparks, who had been unresponsive to the verbal taunting, suddenly looked outraged. She assigned both James and Sirius three days worth of detention, where they would clip and polish the tails of every school broomstick. This, to the misfortune of Madam Sparks, did not qualify as punishment for the two boys; they actually enjoyed doing it. What they did not enjoy was the reproachful comments issued to them by Lily Evans, who was absolutely disgusted by their behaviour. Even Remus and Peter thought that they had overreacted, the taunting wasn't bothering them. Professor McGonagall was also against them on this matter.

Still, the anger towards James and Sirius faded with the month of September and was instead replaced with a feeling of sympathy for Remus when he reported that he had to leave once more to visit his sick mother. If it was possible, Remus looked worse about it the second time than he did the first. His pale forehead was always coated with a light layer of sweat, even though the air was quite cool. His demeanour, which was always a little reserved, now withdrew completely. Whenever Sirius, James and Peter joined him in the library, where he had taken refuge, he always made some excuse to pack up his books and leave.

Remus's behaviour came and went and within the next week he was back to normal. The only time he ever reverted back to his mannerisms before leaving to see his mother was when he was questioned by his friends. They related this to the fact that he was stressed out over his mother, and they couldn't hold it against him. So, to avoid another outburst from him, they stopped asking him about it and resolved to only question him about her if he had to visit.

Halloween dawned on a stormy morning. The skies were blackened and the wind was blowing ferociously, swaying the treetops of the trees in the Forbidden Forest dangerously. A fifth year Hufflepuff swore that she saw a tree become uprooted when she was looking out the window at the forest. The Whomping Willow even appeared to be frightened by the violent weather; it had stopped flailing its branches. Despite the horrid weather, the spirits of the students could not be dimmed with the prospect of the Halloween Feast in the evening. James, Sirius, Peter and Remus, in particular, were looking forward to the evening.

"I heard Dumbledore's got a troupe of dancing skeletons coming," Sirius said as they walked up the stairs in the Entrance Hall. He bent forward on the banister and peered through the crack between the doors to the Great Hall.

"I heard that too," Peter agreed, joining Sirius at the banister. "Did you hear it, Remus?"

Remus, who was looking quite pale again and was flipping through his Transfiguration book, was not taking in a word of their conversation. "Hear what?"

"The dancing skeletons."

"For what?"

"Remus, where have you been lately?" James asked disbelievingly. How could anybody living within the walls of the Hogwarts castle _not_ know that it was Halloween?

"Here…?"

"_You_ may have been, but not your brain."

"Sorry, I've just been a bit tired."

"Visiting your mother again soon?" Sirius questioned, trying to make it seem offhand. The truth was that Remus's visits looked as if they were going to be very frequent, monthly at the most. They usually occurred when Remus grew tired.

"Yeah, few days."

They did not further this topic; it was obvious that Remus was, once again, becoming uneasy. Instead they focused on enjoying as much of the Halloween Feast as possible. It was just as everyone had told them – absolutely amazing. The rumor the boys had been discussing turned out to be very true; Dumbledore had indeed booked a troupe of dancing skeletons for their entertainment. The skeletons were decked out in navy blue top hats and blood red ties. The students cheered loudly as they performed tap dances and ballet. The only unfortunate event of the night was when one skeleton tossed the other in the air and failed to catch him. The skeleton's bones broke apart and scattered about the Great Hall, landing in several plates of food.

October faded quietly into November, and slowly sheets of snow began blanketing the grounds. The students took advantage of this winter weather, having snowball fights and ice skating on the lake. The trees of the Forbidden Forest greatly resembled snow-covered Christmas trees, and the Whomping Willow looked perfectly harmless in the serene calm of the first snow of the season. The Willow, however, did not remain so harmless when the stupidity of several students provoked it. It was one week after the November full moon, and Remus, Peter, Sirius, James and Frank were enjoying a snowball fight on the grounds, prolonging the assignments they knew they would have to do later.

"You can't keep ducking, Pettigrew!" James shouted playfully, quickly packing together the snow and getting ready to hurl it at Remus.

Remus, who was stooped down in the snow and working on his pile, was not exactly surprised when he felt a snowball hit his head. He should have known better than to keep his head down when James had snow in his possession. Brushing the snow out of his hair, Remus straightened up and caught Sirius off guard, sending a snowball straight into his face when he wasn't looking.

"Nice one, Lupin!" he shouted, sending a snowball in his friend's direction. Remus moved out of the way and Frank stumbled into the spot, getting a face full of snow.

The five boys were soon distracted by a commotion coming from behind them. They wheeled around and saw a group of third years crowded around the Whomping Willow. They couldn't see what was going on from where they were standing, so they hurried forward to get a better look. The third years seemed to be cheering two boys on as they tried to see who could get the closest to the Whomping Willow without sustaining any major injuries.

"Are they mad?" Remus wondered, gaping at the students. "They'll get killed."

"Probably," Sirius replied unthinkingly. He then thought about what he said and muttered, "sorry."

It was only a matter of time before a short boy with red hair went reeling backwards and then was sprawled out in the snow. There was a collective intake of sharp breaths from the group. One student, a girl with blonde hair, bolted forward and knelt down in the snow beside the unconscious boy. Peering through a space between two boys, James could see that one side of the boy's face was bloody and cut up. It looked as if he had almost lost his eye.

"Someone, get Madam Pomfrey," she instructed in a firm, though evidently frightened, voice.

A third year Ravenclaw spun around and dashed as quickly as his legs would allow. There were frightened and shock whispers amongst the students, they hadn't thought the situation would get that serious. They had just been having a bit of fun. It was a game, to see who could get the closest to the Whomping Willow without getting hurt. They hadn't expected someone to _actually_ get hurt.

Within moments Madam Pomfrey and the Ravenclaw who had gone to retrieve her came dashing down the snowy slope. The nurse dispersed the crowd with a wave of her hand and began to tend to the boy. The students cautiously backed away, some still craning their heads to get a look at the third year. James, Sirius, Peter, Remus and Frank heard the Ravenclaw say that his name was Davey Gundgeon and he was somewhat notorious for doing stupid things.

"What were they thinking, anyway?" James said as they trekked back to the castle. He thought that everyone would have heeded Dumbledore's order to stay away from the tree.

Sirius shrugged, shaking his head. Then, grinning a bit, he said, "maybe that could be our prank against Crane – get him close enough to the Whomping Willow so he can get his head knocked off."

He had only been joking, but the situation was not one that warranted such jokes. "That's not funny, Sirius," Remus snapped suddenly.

Sirius looked shocked. "Remus, you hate Crane."

"Not enough for something like that to happen to him."

Sirius leaned his head back and raised his eyebrows at James, who was standing on the other side of Remus. James shrugged and looked at Sirius in a way that clearly told him to drop the subject; clearly it was a touchy one. The five Gryffindor boys walked up to the castle in silence. When they entered the giant double doors into the Entrance Hall, they veered off to their right and into the Great Hall.

The chatter inside the Great Hall was loud and lively, the boys assumed that word about Davey Gundgeon had spread. The boys took the empty seats beside Lily Evans and Alice Gordon, who seemed to be wondering what all of the commotion was about. Frank leaned forward and began explaining what happened out on the grounds. Though just as Frank began, Professor Dumbledore had stepped up to the Staff Table and was calling for the students' attention. Silence fell almost immediately all every student fixed their gaze upon the headmaster.

"I'm sure many of you are aware of the event that has just occurred on the grounds approximately fifteen minutes ago?" Dumbledore said, his gaze falling upon the faces of the third years who had been playing around the Whomping Willow. "For those of you who do not know, a third year Ravenclaw had the unfortunate experience of discovering why the Whomping Willow is named so. I did not believe that I would have to reiterate to you the important of staying away from the tree, but the events of today prove that I must. I am asking you only once more to stay away from it; if you do not listen to my request then your Heads of House will have to take the actions they see fit." He cast his gaze around once more, making sure that the students were listening to him. "You may enjoy the rest of your dinner."

* * *

After that day no student dared go near the Whomping Willow again. They all knew quite well that when Professor Dumbledore put his foot down, there was no chance that he would be lifting it up. As the middle of December neared, and Christmas, Professor McGonagall began making her way up and down the Gryffindor table during breakfast, taking down the names of the students who would be staying at the castle over the holidays. All of the Gryffindor first years would be going home, some more reluctantly than others. Sirius, had he been allowed to make his own decision, would have gladly stayed at the castle. Unfortunately, his parents expected him home and he was not about to defy them. There was always next year, anyway.

"Going home then?" James said as Professor McGonagall passed them by.

Sirius nodded grudgingly. "Mum and Dad expect the _Black family heir_ to be present."

James bit his bottom lip. "Bad luck, mate." He turned to Remus, who was scrawling the last of his Charms homework down. "You're going too?"

"Yeah, my mum and dad asked me to come home," Remus replied scratching the tip of his chin with his quill. "What's the incantation for the Levitating Spell, again?"

"_Wingardium Leviosa._"

"Thanks. But, yeah, I'm going home." He marked the last question and placed the sheet of parchment in his bag. "So, what do you guys do at Christmas?"

"My Christmas is just me and my parents," Peter replied, pouring himself a goblet of pumpkin juice. "We open presents Christmas morning and have a nice dinner, pretty boring really."

"Sounds a lot better than my parents' big Christmas Eve party," Sirius replied, screwing up his face in disgust. "_Every_ year, seeing the _same_ annoying people, makes you want to cry."

"And I bet you do," James said jokingly.

"Funny, Potter. Close though… I hide out in my room; trick my little brother into getting me food."

"Wish I had a little brother to trick," Remus said, grinning.

"And what do _you_ do, Mr. Lupin? Extract Flobberworm mucus?"

"That's the highlight of my Christmas; my parents _always_ get me a nice Flobberworm." Remus rolled his eyes. "My mum cooks, my grandparents come over, pretty much like what Peter does." He took a bite of bacon. "But its fun, it's the only time my grandparents come to visit."

"They live far away?" James asked.

Remus shook his head. "No, they live pretty close; they just don't get the chance to visit very often." This was partially true; they had plenty of opportunities to visit. They just didn't take many of these chances because Remus made them nervous. His grandmother and grandfather loved him very much, but what happened to him once a month always scared them. They were afraid they'd say something offensive or hurt him when they hugged him. Remus didn't understand it, but he accepted it. Remus cleared his throat and turned to James. "What do you do for Christmas?"

"Same this as you and Peter, really," James replied, shrugging his shoulders. "My parents are old, so my grandparents aren't alive anymore, and both my parents were only children. So it's just me, my mum and dad, and our house elf."

"You have a house elf too?" Sirius asked, resting his head in his hand. He had been thinking of his family's house elf, Kreacher. Kreacher was the house elf version of his parents. He had been brainwashed into believing all of their pureblood nonsense and often took to muttering foul phrases about half bloods and Muggleborns. Sirius did not consider Kreacher ideal company, particularly on a holiday. Kreacher could suck the holiday spirit out with one breath.

"Yeah, an elf named Willie; she's been in the family since I was born." He took a gulp of pumpkin juice. "My parents are old; my mum needed help around the house when I was a baby."

"Our house elf has been around since before I was born, I think. Bloody menace, Kreacher is. Loves my mum though, he'd probably marry her if it was legal."

Remus and Peter snorted.

"I don't think he loves her _that_ much, Sirius," Peter said, his voice filled with laughter.

"Come spend a night at my house one day, and you'll see I'm not joking."

"I don't know. Would I be _welcome_ there?"

"You're pureblood, aren't you?" Peter nodded. "Then, yeah, you'd be welcome."

"Guess I can never come round to your house, then," Remus said in a false disappointed voice. "I'm a lowly half blood."

"You're not missing much, trust me."

The boys finished off their breakfast, collected their books, made their way out of the Great Hall and up to Professor Flitwick's classroom. They approached the classroom and saw the first years crowded around the classroom door, which appeared to be locked. From what they could see, none of their fellow first years knew what to do; the classroom had never been closed off to them before. Just as they were about to send Lily to find Professor McGonagall, the Transfiguration professor came walking up the corridor, looking very grim.

"Professor Flitwick will not be coming to classes until after the new year," she explained, her mouth visibly twitching. There was a chorus of curious "whys?" from the first years. Professor McGonagall had to quiet them before continuing. "Professor Flitwick has been called to his home, he has received word that…" She broke off and looked thoughtful, as though she was seriously considering whether she should tell them what had happened. "Professor Dumbledore believes you should know… Professor Flitwick has been called home because his sister has been killed."


	7. Confrontation on the Platform

Chapter Seven  
Confrontation on the Platform

When Professor Dumbledore made the announcement of what had happened, the atmosphere in the school changed rapidly. Students who normally used their mornings at breakfast to enjoy themselves before classes now looked fearfully through the _Daily Prophet_, desperate to find any news relating to what had happened to Professor Flitwick's sister, or any cases like it. Dumbledore had told them that the death had been a mysterious one, marked only by a sign in the sky over her residence – a luminous green skull with a snake wrapped around it. Sirius, who usually enjoyed doing the crossword puzzles in the _Prophet,_ now looked through the news sections, just as the older students did.

The professors did their best to encourage their students to move on, to not be so worried. Even the professors seemed afraid to admit that something had happened. They continued to conduct their lessons in the same manner; they went on as if one of their colleagues had not gone home. Crane continued in his teachings, still giving them difficult assignments. The only way his methods had changed was that he was vaguely nicer to Remus, who was noticeably grateful about this. Initially, they thought that this could be because of Remus's outburst during their detention at the beginning of the year. But it couldn't have been because he had not been any nicer to Remus within the past few months.

They soon discovered the real reason when they went to their first Charms lesson after Professor Flitwick's departure. The boys knew that Dumbledore had gotten a temporary replacement, but the students had yet to see him or her. When they entered the Charms classroom on Friday they saw a sandy haired man sitting at the desk, writing on a scroll of parchment. James, Sirius and Peter shrugged and made their way to their desks at the back of the room; they didn't think anything was strange about having a new teacher. Remus, on the other hand, stood in the doorway, his mouth slightly opened.

"Remus?" James said slowly, raising an eyebrow at his friend. "Sit down."

The new teacher looked up when he heard James speak. His eyes traveled from James to Remus and a grin broke onto the man's face. "Don't look so happy to see me, Remus," he said, his grin growing larger.

"W-what are you doing here?" Remus sputtered out.

"I'm taking over until Professor Flitwick comes back."

"You don't _teach_."

"I used to, before you were born. Then I went to writing."

"Remus, this is your _dad_?" Sirius asked, realisation dawning.

Remus nodded, finally coming to himself, and taking his seat beside Peter. No one said anything until the remainder of the class filed in. Once all the students were settled in, Mr. Lupin stood up and surveyed them.

"Well," he said briskly, clapping his hands together. "In light of what has happened with Professor Flitwick's family, I will be taking over your classes until he returns. My name is Harry Lupin. You may, of course, address me as Professor Lupin." As soon as those words came out of the professor's mouth, every head turned in Remus's direction. Professor Lupin noticed this, and cleared his throat. "Well, I'll take role call then, shall I?" He pulled out a scroll of parchment from a desk drawer and read the names. "Sirius Black, Lily Evans, Alice Gordon, Frank Longbottom, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew and James Potter. All here, then? Excellent."

The lesson commenced smoothly. Professor Lupin picked up where Flitwick had left off, which was teaching them how to make a pineapple dance. The class had a good time as they raced around the desks, trying to stop the pineapples before they tap danced off the table. Unfortunately for James, however, his pineapple danced right onto his shoes and splattered all over them. Luckily, Professor Lupin cleaned them up for him. Lily Evans mastered this task particularly well; she was able to make her pineapple do several difficult dance steps and earned fifteen points for Gryffindor.

When the bell gonged, signaling the end of the class, the students made their way to the door, all talking excitedly about what they had just done.

"Remus," said the professor's voice from behind them. "Can you come here for a moment?"

Remus looked over his shoulder at his friends and nodded them on, muttering that he would catch up later. Remus wound his way through the desks and waited patiently for his father to speak with him.

"I know I should have told you I was coming," Professor Lupin began, looking guiltily at his son. "But, you see, Dumbledore needed someone fast and I was the first person he could think of."

Remus said nothing; he merely stared at his father.

"It's only for another week; I was told Professor Flitwick will be coming back after the holidays." He sighed and stood up. "Are you embarrassed that I'm your teacher now?"

"What? No," Remus said quickly. He really wasn't embarrassed at all; he had been thinking the entire period that he now knew why was being treated nicely by his Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.

"You looked more than shocked when you saw me."

"I was just surprised. That's all."

"You're not unhappy? Because, if you are, then I can tell Dumbledore he has to get another replacement."

"No, I don't want you to leave. Don't make Dumbledore get someone else."

Professor Lupin smiled. "What class do you have next?"

Remus thought for a moment, then realised, with dread, that it was Defence Against the Dark Arts. "Defence Against the Dark Arts."

"How do you like that? You always were interested in it."

"It's… fine… I like it."

"That's good. Oh, yes, your mother told me to tell you that you'd better be behaving. I haven't gotten any letters about you destroying the Slytherin common room. I have to say… I'm disappointed."

* * *

Professor Lupin departed for home the day before Christmas break started and many students were sad to see him go. Remus, though he did not admit it, was not sad to see his father go. He had been receiving what could, at best, be called hell from his fellow students. He had been followed by the jeers of the older students, mostly Slytherins, laughing at the fact that his father was the teacher. He didn't understand why they found it so amusing; his father hadn't done anything particularly embarrassing to him. Remus had feared that his father would resort to calling him some pet name he had for him when Remus was a baby.

The only benefit of Professor Lupin staying at the school was that Crane had refrained from his usual taunts, he had especially steered clear of his allusions to Remus being a half breed. Crane had begun conducting his lessons as if Remus wasn't even in the room, perhaps because it was easier than acknowledging his existence civilly. Remus did not complain, any way that Crane was nice to him was better than nothing. Still, the taunting compensated for Crane's lack of rudeness. Remus tried to remain passive, but couldn't when Severus Snape said something especially nasty about Remus's father, causing Remus, Peter, Sirius and James to hex him until he somewhat resembled a slug, resulting in a week long detention with Professor Grines, repotting her batch of Imp Bells.

On the day the students would be returning home for the holidays, the four Gryffindors found themselves sitting in a compartment on the train, playing a heated match of Exploding Snap. Sirius, James and Peter were trying with all of their mental power to finally defeat Remus's winning streak, and they were having some luck. Remus, who was still in a sour mood, was not giving the game his best effort and claimed that that was the only reason they were winning. Sirius shook his head at this and slammed a card down in front of him. When Remus's next turn came, his cards exploding in his face, earning him his first lose in his entire life.

"And so the great Remus Lupin LOSES!" James cheered, Sirius and Peter laughing madly beside him. "VICTORY!" the three boys shouted, causing a prefect patrolling the corridors to look in and see if everything was all right.

When the train pulled up at Platform Nine and Three Quarters, Sirius held his friends up and pulled three brightly wrapped gifts out of his trunk. He shoved them in his friends hand and hastily explained that he wouldn't be able to owl them during the holidays so he thought it best to just give the gifts to them on the train. He did, however, instruct them to open them on Christmas.

The boys disembarked and scanned through the crowds of students and parents. They saw Remus's father standing by the barrier, conversing with a man with black, untidy hair.

"Hey, there's my dad," James said, leading his friends forward.

"Hi, James," Mr. Potter said, clapping his son on the shoulder. "I was just talking to Harry, here. I was his mentor in Healer training."

"Here's my son, Charles," Mr. Lupin said, gripping Remus's shoulder. "Remus, this is Charles Potter."

Remus smiled and shook Mr. Potter's hand. Then he turned to his father. "I thought you were a teacher before I was born?"

"I was training to be a Healer, but then decided that it wasn't what I wanted to do," Mr. Lupin explained.

"So, you and James are mates, then?" Mr. Potter asked conversationally. Remus and James nodded. "I see… Harry was one of my best students; it was a shame when he decided not to continue with his training."

"Sirius, we have to hurry," said an unexpected voice. The group spun around and saw a forbidding woman standing behind them – Mrs. Black. She looked over her son's company and could not contain the grimace on her face.

"Hullo, Mother," Sirius said coldly.

"Come along, Sirius," Mrs. Black continued, pretending that she did not notice her son's company. Mr. Potter and Mr. Lupin, however, stepped forward and attempted to introduce themselves.

"Hullo," Mr. Lupin said pleasantly, holding out his hand. "I'm Harry Lupin. My son, Remus, is friends with –"

"Come _on_, Sirius," Mrs. Black said forcefully, now pulling Sirius forward.

Mr. Potter headed the woman off. "I'm Charles Potter. My son, James, is friends with –"

Mrs. Black groaned, annoyed. "May I help you, gentlemen?"

"We're just trying to introduce ourselves," Mr. Potter said in a tone that clearly showed he was offended. "Our sons are friends; I assume we'll be seeing more of each other."

"I doubt that," Mrs. Black said coolly. "My husband and I do not… _associate_... with folks like yourselves."

"Like us?" Mr. Lupin said bemusedly. "And what do you mean by that?"

"I _mean_ that the Potters are the biggest bunch of blood traitors there are, and the last I remembered, the Lupins were never the most pureblood family." She glared grimly at James and Remus. "I _assume_ that this would make _James_ a blood traitor as well, and _Remus_ a half blood."

"What does that matter?" said another new voice. They looked around to see a man and a woman approaching – Mr. and Mrs. Pettigrew.

"Pardon me?" Mrs. Black said, though in a voice that showed that she disliked these newcomers just as much as Mr. Lupin and Potter.

"What does bloodline matter?" asked Mr. Pettigrew politely.

"It matters because our country is going to the dogs with all these –" She looked around, her glancing resting on Mr. Lupin and his son for the quickest of seconds. "These _Mudbloods_."

Within an instant, three wands were out. Mr. Potter, Mr. Lupin and Mr. Pettigrew held their wands eye level with the woman before them. The crowd of people on the platform had now turned to gawk at the situation. Mudblood was an offensive term generally saved for those who were Muggleborn. Still, it touched a dangerous nerve within Mr. Lupin.

"Don't you _dare_ call my son a Mudblood," Mr. Lupin snarled furiously.

Sirius, sensing disaster, stepped aside and joined his friends beside Mrs. Pettigrew, who was rendered speechless.

"Lower your wand, Lupin," Mrs. Black said composedly.

"You foul woman," he went on, his wand not dropping an inch. "What has my son done to you?"

Mrs. Black looked as though she had a very good retort, but bit it back and instead turned her attention to Sirius. "We are leaving, Sirius. NOW!"

Sirius broke away from his friends and looked apologetically over his shoulder as he trailed behind her, dragging his trunk along.

"Dad, don't be mad at Sirius," Remus said at once. "He's not like that."

"_He_ may not be, but his mother sure is," Mr. Lupin replied, pocketing his wand, his eyes still fixed in the direction the Blacks had left in.

"Remus is right, Harry," Mr. Potter said. "From the letters James has sent me about his friends, Sirius is _not_ like that."

Mr. Lupin nodded distractedly. Needing something to take his mind off what had just happened; he spoke to the Pettigrew's. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Don't be," Mr. Pettigrew said, doing his best to smile. "My wand was up as well. If it had been Peter she said that to, I don't think she would have been walking away." Mr. Lupin smiled weakly, nodding at Peter. "I'm John Pettigrew, by the way," Mr. Pettigrew said, holding out his hand to Mr. Potter and Mr. Lupin. "This is my wife, Maggie." The men smiled politely at Mrs. Pettigrew.

"What mother could ever _dream_ of calling someone that?" Mrs. Pettigrew wondered aloud. She shook her head dismally. "I assume that was your friend Sirius, Peter?"

Peter nodded. "And these are James and Remus." He gestured to each boy respectively.

"Well, we've got to be going, Remus. Your grandparents are arriving today," Mr. Lupin said, bending down and grasping the handle of his son's trunk. "It was nice meeting you," he added to Mr. and Mrs. Pettigrew. "Nice seeing you again, Charles, James, Peter." Remus adjusted the package Sirius had given under his right arm, wished his friends a Happy Christmas and followed his father through the barrier into the Muggle world.

"We should be going too, James," Mr. Potter said. "Pleasure meeting you," he added to the Pettigrew's.

* * *

The kitchen in the Potter household smelled of turkey when Mr. Potter and James entered. Mrs. Potter was standing over the countertop with a small elf at her side. Mrs. Potter gave her wand a complicated wave and a stream of mashed potatoes fell neatly into a pink bowl. Mr. Potter nodded his head at James, signaling for him to bring his trunk and package upstairs; he wanted to speak privately with his wife. Mr. Potter knocked on the door friend, breaking Mrs. Potter and the elf out of their cooking.

"Master Potter!" the elf said in a high pitched voice. "How is you?"

"I'm fine, Willie," Mr. Potter replied, smiling. "Why don't you take a break?"

Willie the house elf bowed her head and walked out of the kitchen to tend to the rest of the house. Mrs. Potter cleaned the tip of her wand with her apron and set it down on the counter.

"James is upstairs?" she asked her husband as he sat down on one of the kitchen stools. Mr. Potter nodded mutely. "Did you meet his friends that he's been writing to us about?"

"I met them, and then some," Mr. Potter replied edgily.

Mrs. Potter stared at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I ran into an old student of mine – Harry Lupin. His son goes to school with James, they're friends."

"That's a good thing, isn't it?"

"Oh, you're right, it is. They're both very nice; I always enjoyed having Harry as a student. His son, Remus, however, looks a little sickly."

"How do you mean?"

"Just something about how pale he is, he's small for his age. But James never said anything about it."

"That still doesn't explain why you look upset, unless you're mad about _that_?"

"No, of course not. Like I said, they're both very nice people. I met James's friend Peter, and his parents. Good people, they are."

"Charles, will you stop beating around the bush, please?"

"Sorry… You know James mentioned his friend Sirius a lot of times in his letters, don't you?" Mrs. Potter nodded. "I'm sure _he's_ a nice boy, but the family he comes from…"

"Pureblood extremists?"

"Hannah, they must be. You should have heard his mother. She called James a blood traitor because he doesn't believe in those methods and she called Harry's son a Mudblood."

Mrs. Potter's eyes widened. "Did she?"

"Believe me, Mr. Pettigrew, Harry and I did not take that lying down – no, we didn't hex her – but Harry sure had a go at her." He sighed and rubbed his temples. "I don't understand people these days. Were things this bad when we were growing up?"

"People were always prejudiced, but I don't think they were as bad as now." She looked over towards the stairs and saw part of James's head sticking through the doorway. "James, how are you?"

James, startled, jumped and hurried down the remaining steps. "Fine, Mum," he replied. He bit his lip and said the same thing Remus had told his father after the confrontation on the platform. "Sirius isn't like his parents."

"I know he isn't, James. If he was then I know you wouldn't be friends with him."

James nodded and excused himself up to his room. As he walked up the stairs and down the long hallway, he thought about what his parents were saying before they noticed him. For an eleven year old, he wasn't naïve, but he had never expected that so much prejudice existed in the world. He could never imagine his mother calling him or someone else what Mrs. Black had called Remus. He now understood fully why Sirius hardly ever talked about his family, he was embarrassed by them. James felt sorry for his friend; he must have hated being home so much. His values didn't match that of his family's and that obviously put a strain on their relationship.

James entered his room and flopped down on his bed. He stared up at the ceiling above his bed, which sported a poster of his favourite Quidditch team – Puddlemere United. He couldn't take his mind off the conversations both in his kitchen and on the platform. Mr. Pettigrew had said it right, blood and parentage didn't make some superior or inferior. Half blood, pureblood or Muggleborn – it didn't make a difference. What mattered was who the person was. James would never allow the type of blood that ran in his friends' veins to dictate their friendship.


	8. Christmas Eve Night

Chapter Eight  
Christmas Eve Night

The Lupin household was comfortably warm, heated by the crackling fire blazing in the fireplace. The mantle was decked with three stockings, hand knit by Mrs. Lupin when her son was nothing more than an infant. Each stocking bore a design for their owner. Mrs. Lupin's stocking was embellished with reindeer flying through the air, their antlers tall and proud, and their hooves a shimmering black. Mr. Lupin's held a scene of a wintry forest, the tree tops were glazed with soft snow, the stars glowing in the dark sky. Remus's stocking shared the theme of the wintry forest, but, unlike his father's, it also bore several animals. There were deer, owls, and in the very distance was a tiny, almost indistinguishable, wolf howling at the full moon. After Remus was attacked by a werewolf, Mrs. Lupin considered pulling out the stitches of that animal, but decided against it, and Remus never noticed it anyway.

The front door of the cabin opened and the winter wind brought in flakes of snow, as well as two bone chilled men and one freezing boy. Mr. Lupin and his father, John, burst through the door, back first, dragging one end of a freshly fallen tree while Remus brought up the rear, holding the prickly branches steady in his gloved hands. Once Remus was fully inside and had kicked the door shut, the three wheeled around on the spot, trying to find the perfect location for the Christmas tree. There were many places, as the living room was not at all cluttered. The only problem was that the tree was big, they were lucky to have gotten it through the front door.

"Over there," Mr. Lupin said, nodding his head towards the spacious corner next to the fireplace. They heaved the tree over and carefully balanced it on its trunk and stepped back slowly, ready to catch the tree should it fall. When they were certain that the tree was not about to topple, Mr. Lupin called his wife and mother into the room. Mrs. Lupin and her mother in law, Gabriella, entered the room, each holding towels in their hands.

"Well, that took long enough," Mrs. Lupin said, smiling.

"Blame Dad," Remus said, coming out from behind the tree and joining his mother and grandmother. He stooped down and scratched his dog, Dommie, who was resting at Mrs. Lupin's feet, behind the ear. "Not one tree was perfect enough."

"We got one down while he wasn't looking," John Lupin said, pulling out his wand and whirling it in between his fingers.

"I still say that was unfair, I was going to find one," Harry complained playfully. "So," he went on, turning to his wife and mother. "What have you ladies been up to?"

"Cooking for tomorrow," Mrs. Lupin replied. "What do you say to a Chocolate Frog cake, Remus?"

"I say that sounds good," Remus said happily. His mother, who was not a witch, had developed a love of wizard sweets and began putting them in anything she could. On Easter she would give Remus an egg filled with Muggle jelly beans and Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans, making it even more difficult to tell which beans were the disgusting ones. On Christmas she usually made her speciality - Chocolate Frog cake. It was a simple chocolate cake, made with twice the usual amount of chocolate, and top off with Chocolate Frogs. There were very few people who had a chocolate capacity that large, and Remus was one of them.

"Anna, do you really think that's good for him?" Gabriella Lupin asked.

"He only eats it twice a year," Mrs. Lupin replied patiently. Her mother in law was constantly questioning her about how she raised her son. "His birthday and Christmas. And he won't even get it on his birthday, he'll be at school."

Gabriella said nothing; she merely shrugged her shoulders and spoke to her son. "Will we be decorating the tree tonight?" Harry nodded. "Maybe I should go and get some eggnog from the store, later?"

"Eggnog? What about the butterbeer?" Harry asked. His mother, like his wife, was a Muggle. Unlike his wife, Anna, Gabriella was still more partial to doing things the Muggle way, and that included having eggnog over butterbeer.

"I'll Apparate to Hogsmeade and get some," John volunteered.

"Can I come?" Remus asked eagerly. He had been to Hogsmeade a rare few times in his life and he loved it at Christmastime. The village reminded him of a Christmas card he had seen when he was at a Muggle card shop with his mother. He had already gone the week before, but he wouldn't mind going again. He knew that it was possible for one person to Apparate with another, but he couldn't recall the name for it.

"No, Remus," John replied hesitantly. "It won't take very long, anyway."

"Oh," Remus said, looking put out. "Okay."

"Remus, why don't you come and help me in the kitchen?" Anna offered hurriedly.

Remus shook his head. "No… I think I'll just go and finish wrapping those presents for my friends." He stepped away from his mother and disappeared up the stairs that led to his loft bedroom.

"Dad," Harry said, rounding on his father, "was that necessary?"

"Was what necessary?"

"You couldn't have just let him go with you?"

"It's cold out, he'll get a fever."

"If you were really worried about him getting sick you wouldn't have let him come with us, looking for a tree for three hours in knee deep snow."

"Harry, I don't see what you're getting upset about."

Harry said nothing at first. He opened his mouth quite a few times, as if he had something he was bursting to say. "Sometimes I wonder about you and Mum."

"And what do you wonder about us, Harry?" Gabriella asked, walking forward, wringing the towel in her hands.

"Why you never bothered getting to know your grandson. He's not stupid, he can see he makes you nervous and that's not his fault."

"You know we don't do it on purpose," John said quietly. It was partially true. Gabriella was a Muggle and naturally she would be frightened of a werewolf, even if it was her own grandson. John had grown up with wizards and the prejudices against them were something that he had seen all the time. It wasn't easy to just forget them. That still didn't excuse them from knowing as little as possible about Remus.

"You can't keep saying that, Dad. He's your grandson and I would like for you to actually get to know him. That's not so much to ask."

* * *

Sirius sat in his room, bored out of his skull. He could hear the faint voices of his relatives and his parents' friends coming from the floors below, but he paid no mind to them. They were talking about all of their favourite subjects – purebloods, werewolf desegregation, purebloods, "those retched Mudbloods," and, of course, purebloods. He instead listened to the incessant grumbling of his stomach. It wasn't easy this year to trick Regulus into getting him food, but Sirius had given it his best shot. He had first asked nicely, attempting politeness, but that proved fruitless. He had then threatened to hex his little brother until he had tentacles rather than eyes. Regulus was not in a generous mood, nor was he going to be frightened into submission.

So Sirius resigned himself to the fact that he would be sitting up in his room, alone, on Christmas Eve, as he usually did. This time, however, he would not have the private feast he usually had, unless he wanted to subject himself to the hideous guests that were his relatives and acquaintances. He had been forced into greeting them, a ritual he always detested. He thought that there was nothing more gruesome than kissing the cheek of his aunts and cousins. He had been spared any actual conversation, and had gone straight to the bathroom to give his mouth a good scrub. He knew he was being childish, but he didn't think he could eat any food after having placed his lips on his relatives.

First there was his cousin Bellatrix. She was a good nine years older than him and as unpleasant as they come. She was a diehard pureblood, believing that any witch or wizard with even a drop of Muggle blood in them were unfit to learn any form of magic. She was set to be married the following year to a man name Rodolphus Lestrange. He was just as bad as she was. _The perfect match_, Sirius thought bitterly. The only benefit of their marriage was that Bellatrix would be moving out of London into Hogsmeade. He would not be in close proximity to her over the holidays; he almost burst out cheering when he heard this bit of news. Bellatrix was the best example of what living in the Black Family could do to someone, the influences it could have. Despite how much he hated his cousin, he did believe that if she had been born into any other family, she would not hold the beliefs she held.

Then there was Narcissa, she was only five years older than he was. She was a sixth year at Hogwarts, in Slytherin, but he hardly ever spoke to her. He made sure of this. Whenever he saw her in the hallway, which was few and far between, he would casually lead his friends in another direction, claiming that it was a shortcut. He had to admit that she wasn't as bad as her sister was, but she still held firm to Bellatrix's ideals. She was more than likely to follow in the family footsteps, or she would at least marry someone who would. Sirius had very limited knowledge on the subject, but he did know that Narcissa was seeing a boy by the name of Lucius Malfoy. He was in Slytherin's sixth year class as well. _Another perfect match_. Sirius had yet to encounter this boy, and he very much intended to keep it that way.

Bellatrix and Narcissa had another sister, Andromeda, Sirius's favourite cousin. She was seven years older than he was and a year out of Hogwarts. Sirius liked Andromeda because she didn't buy into the idea that being a Black made her royalty. In fact, she loved anything to do with Muggles, which was a key factor into her marrying Muggleborn, Ted Tonks. As it went with anyone who seriously violated the family code, she was blasted off the family tree in the drawing room. Where her name should have been, linked with her sister, was a charred black spot. Sirius thought that this was something to be admired; he would love to get blasted off. Because of this, Andromeda was not present at the party.

Even if Andromeda had been at the party, Sirius would not have risked going down. He had been skilfully avoiding his mother ever since the confrontation on the platform. If it wasn't enough that _her own son_ had been Sorted into Gryffindor (a fact, according to Regulus, had sent her into cardiac arrest), he _actually_ consorted with _those filthy blood traitors_. He winced when he thought of what had taken place that day. He couldn't bring himself to look at Remus during that whole arguement; he could only imagine what his friend thought of him now. He wouldn't blame Remus if he hated him. And James too, he had been labeled a blood traitor when he wasn't anything of the sort. James was not a traitor for not indulging himself in the values of the pureblood extremists.

The door to his bedroom opened and a black haired boy of ten walked in. Regulus Black shut the door behind him and looked at his brother.

"Mother says you have to come downstairs," he said quietly.

"No, I don't feel like it," Sirius replied defiantly, still sitting in his spot.

"Father says so too."

"Oh, well, if _Father_ says so, maybe I should."

"Sirius, I don't want to hear them yelling at you again, so why don't you just come down?"

"You just don't want your precious ears hurting again."

"Mother made your favourite –"

"Not intentionally."

"-and she wants you downstairs."

"I wouldn't go down there for all the treacle tart in the world."

"Mother said if you don't come _down_ she'll come _up_."

Sirius heaved a sigh and, for the first time, actually looked at his brother. "What are they talking about downstairs?"

"The usual, except now they're on about what happened to Professor Flitwick's sister."

Sirius's interest peaked instantly. "Do they know what happened?"

"They have an idea. Some group of people – I don't know what their names are – and their… leader, I think… they did it. Used the Killing Curse on her."

"Do you know why they picked her?"

"Bellatrix says she heard that Flitwick's sister was working… against them or something. I can't remember."

"So that's why she died, then?" Regulus nodded. Sirius sat silently, thoughtful, looking up at a knot in the ceiling. "What do our parents think about that?"

"I think they think it's for the best that she's gone. Look, I just came up here to get you, so can you come down now?"

Sirius, unsure of why he was actually listening to the request of his brother, got up and absentmindedly followed Regulus out of his bedroom. So Professor Flitwick's sister had died because she disagreed with a group of people and their overlord. He didn't know exactly who these people were, or what their beliefs might be, but he knew that that was no reason to die. As he walked down the two flights of stairs and into the kitchen, he could only hope that his Charms professor was okay.

* * *

The smell of fresh turkey, vegetables, bread, and potatoes filled the Potter mansion, drifting up to James's bedroom, where he was busy putting the finishing touches on the gifts for Peter, Sirius and Remus. His mother would be calling him down soon to help her and Willie set the table and he wanted to send the gifts off that night, as it was Christmas Eve. He was glad that the family owl, Brownie, was a swift and reliable flier, she could get anywhere in a heartbeat. He gripped a strip of Spellotape with his teeth and ripped it out off the roll. He was in the process of wrapping Sirius's gift – a Puddlemere United t-shirt. He was sure Sirius would like it, they were his favourite team.

When he had finished wrapping Sirius's present he set it on his bureau, next to Brownie's cage. Earlier in the morning he had gone up to his parents' room and retrieved the owl and her cage so he could use her when he needed to. He pulled out a leather-bound photo album from under his bed and placed it in his lap. It was a spare one his parents had bought ages ago and had never used, which was typical of them. When James showed it to them, they let him have it. He knew that Remus had tons of photos. Remus was skilled with a camera, but he never had anywhere to keep them. James had seen a stack of them topple out of Remus's trunk one morning in November. He could use the album more than his parents, and it was charmed to expand whenever the pages ran out. James grinned to himself and began wrapping it.

He placed Remus's gift on top of Sirius's and went for the third one under his bed. Peter was a difficult person to buy for; James had never really noticed any specific interests of Peter, because he was interested in _everything_. In school, Peter loved every subject, even the ones he wasn't good in. He didn't have a single Quidditch team that he favoured; he liked them all because he just loved watching the game. He didn't have _one_ favourite sweet, he had numerous. James had spent almost an hour and a half thinking of a present for Peter. In the end, he had come up with a portrait of the Quidditch Pitch they used whenever the World Cup was hosted in England. It was a realistic painting, capturing every aspect of the field, from its high stands to every blade of grass on the ground.

James placed Peter's gift on top of Remus's just as his mother called him downstairs. He latched the gifts to Brownie and brought her over to the window. He wished her good luck and sent her flying off into the winter night. He hurried down the stairs and saw his mother standing in the kitchen, Willie at her side. Mrs. Potter was holding a tray with a fat, golden turkey resting on top of it, garnished with green leaves. Willie was carrying a basket filled to the brim with warm rolls. The trays of vegetables and potatoes floated alongside Mrs. Potter. She jerked her head at the counter and James saw the pile of dishes and silverware that needed to be brought into the dining room. He retrieved them and followed his mother and Willie into the dining room, which was decked out in its Christmas best. A green table cloth coated the normally bare wooden table, there was holly draped over the chandelier, casting a greenish sparkle whenever the crystals on the chandelier caught both the light and the holly. The Christmas tree stood a little way behind the table, decorated with shiny baubles and fairy lights.

Mr. Potter was standing at the table, making his favourite drink. Ever since James could remember, on Christmas Eve his father always made a drink mixed with eggnog and butterbeer. James and his mother found it revolting, but Mr. Potter always insisted that it was delicious. Mr. Potter looked up and smiled when he saw the three enter the room. He cleared a spot in the centre of the table for the turkey, the vegetables, potatoes, and bread basket, and moved into the next room to see if anything else had to be brought in. James placed the dishes in their respective places, resting the silverware next to them.

"Did you finish wrapping your friends' presents, James?" Mrs. Potter asked conversationally. James nodded. "What did you get them?"

"I got Sirius a Quidditch shirt, Remus a photo album, and Peter a painting of the World Cup Quidditch Pitch."

"I'm sure they'll like them."

"Yeah, I know Sirius and Peter love Quidditch and Remus loves taking pictures."

"Did you send Brownie off with them yet?"

"Yeah." He stooped down as he dropped a knife with a clatter. When he reappeared from under the table, he asked, "will they get them by tomorrow?"

"Brownie hasn't yet failed delivering a package on time."

James nodded mutely. Once the table was set and the food placed, the three Potters took their seats. Willie scurried over and took her seat besides James. Mr. Potter was quiet, mulling over what he wanted to say. It was tradition in the Potter family for the "man of the house" to say something important.

"Charles?" Mrs. Potter said, looking questioningly at her husband.

"I'm thinking, Hannah," he replied, staring down at his hands. After another moment's silence, Mr. Potter blew some air out of his mouth and looked up at his family. "To another year almost gone," he said. "A year of change, and next year will bring more change, some good and some bad. But tonight is not a night to think about such things. Tonight is a night to focus on happiness, new beginnings in our lives that will bring good. We should all be grateful for whatever good has and will come our way."

Mr. Potter raised his glass towards his wife, his son, and to Willie. "May we all find happiness next year, no matter what might happen."

Later that night James found himself thinking about what his father had said; it wasn't very different than what he usually said. This year, though, James detected something he had never heard before – a twinge of fear in his father's voice. Whenever his father delivered his traditional Christmas Eve speech he would sound optimistic, smiling, his eyes twinkling with the lights on the Christmas tree. This year his father had only managed a small tired smile, and his eyes lacked the light of the tree. His father feared what was coming their way, but James didn't know what it was. What he did know was that whatever it was, it was bad.

* * *

The Pettigrew household was quiet, the only sounds alive were the nightly creaks of the house that made it seem like an invisible person was moving about. The family had gotten to sleep fairly late, having stayed up to have a nice dinner and then sit by the fire, the only source of light beside the Christmas tree. Mr. and Mrs. Pettigrew were just falling asleep, having snuck back into the living room to put Peter's gifts under the tree. They were considerably surprised to see a beautiful barn owl hovering outside the window, a package tied to its leg. When Mr. Pettigrew unlatched the window they saw that the owl was delivering a present to Peter from his friend James.

Once John and Maggie Pettigrew were sound asleep again Peter awoke from his dull dreams. He always had a difficult time sleeping on Christmas Eve, the thoughts of the next day always kept him tossing and turning, unable to be lulled away to sleep for a good hour and a half. When he was finally asleep he didn't even have the luxury of good dreams to keep him sleeping. Peter's eyes fluttered open and darted around his darkened room. He sighed in annoyance, glancing at the luminous alarm clock on his nightstand, it read, to his dismay, two in the morning. That was another thing, whenever he woke up he usually had three hours until daybreak and he hated lying awake in the dark.

Resigning himself to the fact that he would not be able to fall back asleep, Peter swung his legs over the side of his bed, pulling off his blankets as he did so. His bare feet touched the cold wooden floor, causing him to shiver. He yanked on a pair of socks that were balled up in the corner and silently crept out of his room and down the stairs. The living room was almost pitch-black, the fire having gone out a long time ago. The only source of light came from the single lamppost outside the house; it cast a luminous orange glow against the walls. Needing more light, Peter lit the Christmas tree, blinking against the bright and colourful bulbs.

He sat down in front of the Christmas tree and picked up the various packages. He was old enough now to realise that there was no such thing as Father Christmas, but he always appreciated that his parents still kept up the act of sneaking downstairs to put his presents out. It still allowed him to feel pleasantly surprised the next morning when he saw the faint outlines of packages resting at the trunk of the tree. As he shook a small, square box his eyes fell on the gift Sirius had given him on the train. Sirius had instructed him not to open it until Christmas and, technically, it _was_ Christmas. It was a medium sized box, and the wrapping paper was decorated with snitches on a red background.

Peter moved over, into the orange light so he could read whatever message his friend had left for him. He silently tore the paper apart, unfolding the ends and breaking the tape. When the paper was fully removed he was met with a solid black box. There were golden hinges on it and Peter saw that the lid was inscribed with his own name in fancy, curvy letters. He grinned and opened the box. Inside he found a figurine of a lion and, unless his eyes were cheating him, it was eating a snake. Peter had to bite back a laugh, typical Sirius. He removed the lion and a small, folded piece of parchment toppled out along with it. Curious, Peter picked it up and unfolded it.

_Happy Christmas, Peter!  
__And don't worry; the Sorting Hat tried the same thing with me.  
__Your friend,  
__Sirius_

Peter raised his eyebrows at the letter; the Sorting Hat had tried putting Sirius in Slytherin as well? More importantly, how had Sirius know that had happened to Peter? Maybe he just assumed by the look on his face as he sat on the stool at the Sorting Ceremony. It made Peter feel better, though, to know that someone else had been in the same dilemma as he was. There was just one nagging thought at the back of his mind, almost everyone in Sirius's family had been in Slytherin, it was only natural for the Sorting Hat to assume that he wanted the same. Peter, on the other hand, no one in his family had ever been in that house before. What if he _did_ belong there?

_No, don't think about that now. It's Christmas, you're supposed to be happy._ Peter set Sirius's gift aside and saw another one that was clearly not from his parents. It was a fairly flat, rectangular gift; he couldn't imagine what could possibly be inside. He saw on the labeled tacked onto the red and gold wrapping paper that it was from James. His interest increasing, Peter tore the paper off as quietly as he could, so as to not wake his parents. He set the torn paper on the floor behind him and picked up the present. It was an extremely detailed portrait of England's Quidditch World Cup pitch.

Peter smiled, admiring the workmanship of it. He could see every blade of grass, every number on the backs of every player in the air. He wondered where James had gotten it and hoped that it didn't cost very much. He hadn't had a very big supply of money and wasn't able to buy the presents he had wanted to buy for his friends. Then he remembered that James's parents were very wealthy, money probably wasn't a problem. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to have a lot of money at his dispense. He turned the portrait over and saw that James had taped a message onto the back of the frame. He ripped the message off and scanned it.

_Merry Christmas, Peter!  
__You were impossible to think of a present for, so I got you this painting when I saw it in some shop in Diagon Alley. I know you love Quidditch, so hopefully you like it.  
__Your friend,  
__James _

He set the portrait next to the lion figurine and then he eyes spotted the package he had seen his father bring in earlier when he went out to retrieve the post from the snow, where the owl had dropped it. It didn't have the fancy wrapping that the others had, but was simply covered with coarse brown paper. He saw in the upper left hand corner of the package Remus's neat handwriting - a present from Remus. He unwrapped it and a note fell into his hands. Unlike the first two times he had opened his gifts, he read the message first.

_Happy Christmas, Peter!  
__I'm really bad at thinking of presents for people, so if you don't like it I don't blame you at all. I went to Hogsmeade with my mum last week and saw it in Dervish and Banges. Maybe you'll find it useful.  
__Your friend,  
__Remus_

He saw that Remus had gotten him a Sneakoscope. He couldn't understand why Remus thought he needed one; he didn't know anyone untrustworthy and that was what these devices were used for. Then again, Remus had admitted that he was bad at picking out gifts. Peter shrugged; maybe he _would_ find some use for it. He set it next to James's present and lay back on the cold wooden floor. He couldn't help but be happy at this moment; he had never gotten any Christmas presents from anyone outside his immediate family. He had also never _given_ any gifts to anyone outside his immediate family. But now he had three friends who he felt he liked enough to spend painstaking hours thinking over what to get for them and fretting over if they would like it or not.

And that, to Peter, was the best present he could have – friends he cared so much about.


	9. Ill Health and Feelings

Chapter Nine  
Ill Health and Feelings

"Come on, Remus," whispered a weary Harry Lupin on New Year's Day morning. "It's alright."

Harry was kneeling down in the knee deep snow in his backyard, trying to bring a passed out Remus back to reality. He had conjured a small patch of blue flames contained in a jar to keep his son warm. He gently tapped Remus's uninjured cheek and he groaned quietly, his head shifting ever so slightly, but, otherwise, he remained still. Mr. Lupin frowned, an anxious look in his eyes. Ever since Remus found out he was going to Hogwarts his transformations had been getting better, as if he had a small piece of hope to grasp onto. He couldn't understand why his transformation had been so violent the night before. His son's screams had pierced the night.

"Remus?" he said again, his voice quiet. He put his hand on his son's forehead, the heel of his hand coated with blood as it grazed a gash above Remus's right eye. He felt the heat coming from his son and frowned, he was going to have a fever. Harry looked over his son's tattered clothes and performed a number of mending spells. "Come on, Remus, it's your dad." When Remus didn't respond, Harry stood up and called for his wife.

Anna Lupin hurried through the open doorway and joined her husband. "What is it, Harry?" she asked concernedly.

"He won't wake up," Harry explained hopelessly.

"Can't you wake him magically?"

"You know I can't. The Healers always told me it's best if he wakes on his own."

"Maybe he's just tired?"

"I don't know… it's never taken him this long before."

"Give him some time, Harry. He'll wake."

Harry nodded solemnly at his wife. He knew she was right. Remus had a hard time the night before; he had to take his time. He watched as Anna went inside, readying Remus's bed for him when he needed it. Despite what his wife had said, he did not leave his son's side until Remus tiredly opened his eyes. Remus gazed dazedly at his surroundings, seemingly unable to figure out where he was. Harry turned when he felt movement and smiled at the sight of his son's open eyes. Remus's eyes were glazed over, not really staring at anything, but moving about nonetheless.

"Good morning," Harry said, keeping his voice light.

Remus's eyes stopped darting around and fell on his father's tired face. He tried to say something, but his vocal chords argued against it. Harry nodded understandingly, and moved to help his son up. Remus flinched; his eyes squeezed shut in pain, as his father's hand moved towards his back. Harry quickly withdrew his hand.

"What is it?" he asked, stooping down again. Remus said nothing, his eyes still closed in pain. "Remus, you have to talk to me." He had said it louder than he had intended to, and Remus seemed to shrink back. Harry had nearly forgotten how timid Remus came off after a full moon. Harry closed his eyes for a moment, sighed, and looked back at his son. "What hurts, Remus?"

"My back," Remus replied, almost in a whimper.

"You know I can't fix it. The Healers said they're the only ones who could."

"I'll help you, Harry," said an unexpected voice. Harry glanced up and was shocked to see his father standing above him, his wand in hand. John Lupin had been a Healer in his day and still was adept at the skills he had obtained.

"Dad," Harry said, evidently surprised.

"Here you go, Remus," John said, bending forward and giving his wand a complicated wave. Remus's eyes scrunched up more, as though the spell had done nothing but increase the pain. Then, slowly, his face relaxed and he let out a small breath of relief. "Do you feel better?" Remus nodded. "Good…" John straightened up and turned to Harry. "Will he be okay?"

"Yes… yes," Harry said, still coming to terms with the fact that his father was there. "By the end of the day, he'll be feeling better." He blew air out of the corner of his mouth and looked around, wringing his hands together. "Where's Mum?"

"Oh, she had to go into town and pick up a new table for the living room. I thought I'd come and see how Remus was doing."

"Would you like to stay with him for a few hours? Anna and I have to speak with someone at St. Mungo's about… a matter." Harry did not want to actually voice what he and his wife were going to St. Mungo's for. The Healers were forever bringing up possible cures for Lycanthropy, none of them ever having any effect. Despite this, they always tried something in the vain hope that something would relieve Remus of the suffering he had to endure.

"Wouldn't you bring Remus there?" John wondered.

"We were going to, and we will if you can't stay." He glanced over his shoulder at Remus, who was not taking in a word of the conversation. "Besides, the Healers say it won't be ready until the summer anyway. We'll bring him, if you really can't stay."

"No… no, I'll stay with him. You and Anna go on ahead." John bent down and carefully slid his arm under Remus's, fully aware of the other wounds his grandson may have. He gently lifted his grandson to his feet and began leading him towards the house where he could fix his other injuries.

"Dad?" Harry said, a smile growing on his lips.

"Yes, Harry?"

"Thank you."

* * *

"That is brilliant, _bloody brilliant_!"

"I _told_ you I wasn't full of just stupid ideas."

"But how did you even think of this?"

"It wasn't hard."

Operation Get Crane Back was to be put into action soon. James, Sirius and Peter had been sitting up for hours, feverishly discussing their plans for revenge on Crane. Their plans had been put on hold with the death of Professor Flitwick's sister weighing on their minds and then the Christmas holidays. They had been keeping their voices low, as Remus was passed out on his bed and Frank was sleeping, but they could not keep their voices down when Sirius had announced his new idea. He finally realised that showing Crane's knickers in broad daylight was easier said than done.

Sirius claimed that he had spent the better part of his break thinking up prank after prank, making it so that nothing could be linked back to them. He also had to ensure that it was something the older students would be willing to help them with. He had come up with the perfect scheme – they would get the older students to buy a large box of fireworks when they went on the next trip to Hogsmeade and they would set them up in strategic points in the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. Midway through class the fireworks would have to be ignited, a job Sirius would only entrust to an older student.

"What else would we do besides the fireworks?" James asked, lying back on his bed and tossing the model Golden Snitch Sirius had given him in the air.

"I was thinking about hexing everything in the room," Sirius explained, his eyes twinkling with mischief as he bit into one of the Chocolate Frogs he had received from Peter. "Make the chairs spin around on their own, the chalkboard erase itself, make everything just go crazy!"

"How would we do that?" Peter questioned.

"It's not that hard, just look up the hexes and learn them."

"We're only first years."

"Which is why we get other people to help us." Sirius grinned. "Trust me; it'll be so bad that Crane will be crying by the time we're through with him. Besides, the older students might have ideas that we can use."

"I hope it works, I can't stand another year with Crane," James said, standing up and moving towards the bathroom. "It'll be murder." He shook his head and disappeared inside.

"We have to get Frank in on this too," Peter reminded Sirius. "He wants Crane out just as much as we do."

"Frank will have his part, have you seen how good he is with that Levitation Spell? And I was thinking we use those Biting Teacups I got from James too or maybe the Frog Spawn from Remus."

"Yeah that sounds good and if we're going to use charms then maybe we should get Evans to help us."

"Oh she wouldn't want to get in _trouble_."

"But she hates Crane."

"So does Remus, and he's not helping."

"He can't risk getting Crane madder at him." Peter folded his arms across his chest and looked at the curtains drawn around Remus's bed. "Is he okay? I haven't seen him since we got back."

"I saw him, he was looking pretty sick."

"You don't think it has to do with his mother again, do you?"

"No, I think he's got a bug or something." Sirius neglected to mention the ugly looking bruises that were fading on Remus's face, or the difficulty with which he walked. He knew Remus didn't want his pain being advertised. And when Sirius had asked Remus if he was okay, he got very defensive, saying that it was none of Sirius's business. "He'll be fine."

Just as the words came out of Sirius's mouth they heard a small yelp of pain from behind the curtains. Peter raised his eyebrows at Sirius. Sirius shrugged and began edging slowly towards his roommate's bed. Sirius looked at Peter, wondering if he should bother Remus, as Remus had not been in the best of moods earlier. Peter nodded his head. Sirius tugged on the curtains.

"Remus, are you okay?"

They heard nothing for a moment. Then, very quietly, they heard a whimper of pain.

"Are you alright, Remus?" Peter asked anxiously.

"Fine," said Remus's almost inaudible voice.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Peter shrugged and announced that he was going down to the common room to find his Transfiguration essay. Sirius declined the offer of going down with him to help, saying that he was tired and wanted to get ready for bed. Once the door shut behind Peter, Sirius wheeled around and yanked the curtains back around Remus's bed. He saw Remus curled up, his face stuffed into his pillow, and he was furiously rubbing at his wrist. Through the creases between Remus's fingers, Sirius could see a nasty looking bruise. He must have rolled over onto it when he was sleeping and the shock had woken him up.

"What happened?" he asked.

Remus turned his head so that one eye was looking up at Sirius and the other was still forced into his pillow. He shook his head; he didn't feel like talking about it. His grandfather had managed to heal most of his injuries, the major ones at least, especially his back. His back had felt like a thousand fiery knives were piercing through his skin; the pain was so unbearable he could barely form two words. His grandfather had left the minor injuries, allowing them to heal on their own.

"Remus, what'd you do to your wrist?"

"Nothing," Remus muttered into his pillow. "Hey, thanks for framing that picture of my dog for me," he added in hopes of deterring Sirius from the problem.

Sirius, however, was not going to be deterred so easily. "You must've done something."

"Nothing."

"Was it your dog again?"

"I fell."

Sirius didn't believe this for a second. "Come on, Remus. What-?"

"What do you want from me?" Remus asked angrily, visibly cringing from the shooting pain he received in his head.

Sirius looked taken aback. What was _wrong_ with him? Sirius was doing nothing except being a good friend; a good friend would want to know why one of his mates was sick. "I _want_ to know what keeps happening to you that you're always sick! But if you don't want me to know, fine! Suffer on your own!"

* * *

James, Sirius and Peter sat in the courtyard during break the following day, observing possible candidates for their plot against Crane. Once the holidays had ended and Professor Flitwick returned, Crane had taken on his usual methods of tormenting Remus. It seemed like he was making up for lost taunting, as he hardly ever left Remus alone. They had to admit that Remus was taking it quite well; he had begun a process of simply ignoring the professor, letting the comments bounce off him. He sat quietly at his desk, writing patiently in the leather notebook Peter had sent him. The only problem with his method was that Crane gave him detention, which he was now discussing with the professor.

"How about him?" James asked, pointing at the Gryffindor seventh year they had originally asked, back when Sirius had his knickers scheme.

"Finley?" Sirius said. "He told me my idea was stupid."

"Your _first_ idea," Peter corrected. "This one actually isn't stupid."

Sirius huffed and grudgingly conceded. "Hey! Finley!"

The seventh year stopped in his path and looked over his shoulder. A confused expression fell upon him as he wondered why these first years could possibly want to bother him again. Still, it wouldn't hurt to see what they wanted, maybe they had revised their revenge plan and it was no longer stupid. "What is it?" he asked as he approached them.

"We have a new idea," James said proudly.

"Actually, _I _have a new idea," Sirius said quickly.

"What is it?" Finley asked interestedly.

"Want to make Crane think his room is haunted?"

Finley said nothing as he mulled over Sirius's idea. It was not nearly as bad as his original one; it actually had some good charm to it. It would be easy to execute if they had a little more help. In fact, they could make it so bad it would drive Crane out of the school. He grinned mischievously.

"How do you want to do it?"

And so it began. Finley enlisted the help of two of his fellow Gryffindor seventh years – Julie Kramer and Andy Green – while James, Sirius and Peter got Frank in on the plot. They worked relentlessly after class that day, holed up in the library under the suspicious glare of the librarian, Madam Pince. They pored through book after book, searching for every spell that could wreak absolute havoc in Crane's classroom. Finley found a particularly helpful spell that timed all the rest. They had to decide on a time when pandemonium would commence. It was difficult, they weren't sure if they wanted it to happen when they had classes with Crane. It would be too easy for him to pin down the culprits if they did it during their lessons.

In the end they decided it would be best if they did it during a Slytherin class; if they didn't mind anyone getting in trouble, it was the Slytherins. They weren't sure when they would do it; everything had to be carefully planned. In the meantime they would look up what they needed and figure out how they would use the spells. It was long work, but the thought of the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor's misery sustained them. Lily Evans and Alice Gordon, who openly detested Crane, even chose to help them, a shock to James and Sirius, who had both been convinced that the girls wouldn't want to risk the numerous detentions awaiting them. In fact, the only person who was not joining in was Remus.

True, they had suggested that Remus not take any part in it, they had at least expected him to show some amount of interest. He never said anything about it, when they discussed it he was either staring into space or reading. They couldn't figure out what had caused him to become so detached, maybe he thought Sirius was still mad with him. But that couldn't have been the reason because Sirius was being friendly to him. James assumed it must have had something to do with his mother. Maybe she was getting worse?

"Hey, Remus," he said one night when it was just him and Remus in the dormitory. He had gone to the dormitory to deposit the new chess pieces Peter had given him with his chess board and saw the curtains were, for the first time in a while, not drawn around Remus's bed. Sirius and Peter were busy serving detention for _accidentally_ dropping a few Dungbombs outside Filch's office.

Remus rolled over onto his side and looked at James. "Hi."

James sat down on his bed and observed his friend. They had been in school for a week and a half and he could not help but notice how pale Remus was when he had gotten back, and that had not changed. "Are you okay? You've been really quiet lately and you don't look too good."

"I'm fine," Remus answered, biting back a yawn.

"Are you sure? Because if you're not, then you really should go to Madam Pomfrey."

"I'm okay, James." Remus rolled onto his back and gazed sleepily at the ceiling above his bed. In truth, he wasn't sure what was wrong with him. It never took him this long to recover from a full moon, unless he was coming down with something completely unrelated. He didn't feel like going to Madam Pomfrey, though, she would make too much of a fuss over him.

James sighed and looked around, searching for another topic. "How's your mum?"

"Err… fine… she's fine."

"So, about the Crane thing…"

"Sirius has a good idea."

"You don't want to help at all?"

"I dunno… I really don't want Crane to find out I was involved with it." He grimaced as a sharp sensation filled his head. "He'll never leave me alone."

"It's alright, you don't have to. I was just wondering if you maybe wanted to. You've been so… I dunno… _quiet_, you don't ever say anything about anything."

"It's nothing, James."

"Okay, then," James said, standing up and heading to his trunk to grab some homework. "G'night."

* * *

As it turned out, Remus had been steadily developing a stomach virus. James, Sirius, Peter and Frank were rudely awakened to the sounds of retching coming from the bathroom the following morning. Remus was in there for a good fifteen minutes before emerging, green and sweaty. Sirius frowned and offered to help his friend to the Hospital Wing before he got dressed and went to class. Remus shook his head, muttering that he didn't want to get any of them sick. He trudged out of the dormitory, not noticing that he was barefoot. Peter saw this, grabbed a pair of his friend's socks that were sticking out from under the bed, and hurried after him.

When Peter returned, announcing that Remus would be spending the next few days in the Hospital Wing, they set off for first period Transfiguration. They entered the Transfiguration classroom to see Professor McGonagall flipping furiously through several sheets of parchment on her desk. She clicked her tongue irritably and looked up when she saw the boys entered. She surveyed them through her square spectacles and saw that someone was missing from their ranks.

"Where is Mr. Lupin?"

"He's sick in the Hospital Wing," James responded promptly.

Professor McGonagall nodded and made no further mention of the subject. The boys took their usual seats in the back of the room and waited patiently for Lily and Alice to get there and the lesson to begin. They needed to discuss the part of the plan that Lily and Alice would play. They were to locate the necessary hexes for the windows in Crane's room. They wanted them to bang open and closed repeatedly. They had come across the correct hex while looking up something else and needed to tell the girls that they just had to learn how to perform it.

However, when the girls finally came in they did not have the opportunity to speak, as Professor McGonagall was calling them to attention. They were to be learning how to transfigure small dishes into small cups, a dull but manageable task. James successfully completed the task on his first try, earning five points for Gryffindor. While everyone else was trying to figure it out, James sat back in his chair, leafing through the book of jinxes he had gotten from Remus and thinking of what else they could do to Crane. He didn't think what they had at the moment was enough to drive Crane out of the school, though it would annoy him greatly. They needed something else, he just couldn't think of what.

The class ended soon enough and the Gryffindor first years began making their way out onto the grounds for Herbology. They trooped down the grassy slope towards the greenhouses, discussing the homework that Professor Grines had assigned them. It was a long and lengthy essay about the plant of their choice. They had all spent three grueling hours working on them, not quite sure what would be sufficient. In the end they all ended up with two sheets of parchment, a feat that they never thought they could accomplish. As they were nearing the greenhouses they saw a group of Slytherins standing a few feet away, talking and laughing rudely.

"What do you think they're doing?" James muttered out of the corner of his mouth to Sirius, who shrugged in response. As they neared Sirius saw, with dread, that one of the students was none other than his cousin, Narcissa. Instinctively he fell behind James, hoping that his friend would shield him from view.

"What's up?" Peter asked when he saw this. Sirius had not gotten around to mentioning to his friends that he had a cousin in the school. He had spent the majority of his time trying to forget that very fact.

"That's my cousin," he replied, jerking his head towards the tall girl with blonde hair. She was standing next to a boy of equal height with similar hair; Sirius had no doubt that he was her boyfriend Lucius.

"Well, why don't you say hullo?" Lily wondered, unaware of how much Sirius wanted to avoid saying anything to them.

"I don't exactly like my family."

Lily said nothing, but nodded and pressed the subject no further. As they approached, Narcissa turned and grinned in a slightly malevolent way. She was nothing compared to Bellatrix, but she held her own quite well. She casually walked over to Sirius, pausing for the briefest of moments to cast another grin over her shoulder.

"Hullo, Sirius," she said in a voice dripping with false cheer.

"Cissy," Sirius replied, using an old nickname the family had given her a long time. She hated it only when Sirius used it, but chose to overlook that for the time being.

Narcissa was silent as she gazed over her cousin's companions. "Interesting… _group_… you've assembled here. I take it Aunt Walburga was right when she said you're busy with Mudbloods and blood traitors."

"Take that back," Sirius hissed, his wand out and raised. Narcissa smirked and did not take back what she said, nor did she draw her own wand. "I said 'take it back'." Sirius realised how pointless this was, his cousin would never take back what she said. She would eat dung before heeding his demand.

"What's going on here?" asked a mildly interested voice. The group turned and saw that Lucius Malfoy and his cronies were making their way over. Sirius groaned; the last thing he needed was for this to blow up in his face, which it undoubtedly would.

"Oh, Lucius," Narcissa said, her tone changing dramatically, "this is my cousin, Sirius."

Malfoy looked thoughtful, as if he was trying to recall something from long ago. "Sirius?" he repeated. "Isn't he your disappointment of a cousin?"

"In so many words, yes," Narcissa replied cheerfully.

Sirius glanced over at his friends with his eyebrows raised, what were they doing? James shook his head, signaling that Sirius should not rise with their taunts. He loosened the grip on his wand and let his arm drop limply to his side. "Let's go to Herbology, guys?" he said instead, focusing on his friends rather than the several hexes he had just thought up. His friends hastened to the greenhouses, Sirius hurrying along in their wake. He could not shake what Narcissa had said out of his mind. He had never been a particular fan of his parents, but he had always known that they loved him; he had never been referred to as a disappointment before that year.

As Sirius settled himself in his spot between James and the one that usually held Remus, he still could not drag his mind away and force it to listen to Professor Grines. He didn't understand why his family couldn't see that people like James and Remus and Peter and Lily were not bad people just because of their bloodline or their upbringing. He couldn't fathom why he had turned out different, why he seemed to be one of the few Blacks who could look past such a trivial matter. He knew it was for the best though, if he was not the way he was then he would not be surrounded by the people he was. He wouldn't have the friends he did, and he probably wouldn't be happy.


	10. Birthdays, Preparations and Banshees

Chapter Ten  
Birthdays, Preparations and Banshees

Remus returned from the Hospital Wing after three days, looking far skinnier than they remembered, but otherwise healthy. He was greeted rather cautiously by his roommates, who seemed afraid that he may still be ill and, therefore, irritable. When he assured them numerous times that he was fine, they eased up and told him what he had missed. Though he had been restored to what was perfect health for him, he still did not partake in any of his friends' schemes. Unlike the first time, however, they were not perturbed by this and let Remus live with his decision. He knew what was best for him. Who were they to make him change his mind?

The moment was drawing ever nearer with the passing of each month. They had chosen the month of June to execute their long awaited prank, figuring that the opportune time would be before the exams began. Jacob Finley, Julie Kramer and Andy Green had their N.E.W.T examinations to worry about, so the first years would take over as May turned to June. They spent so much time in the library that the teachers even began to think that they were up to no good, though they made no effort to stop them. The first years had a suspicion that the professors, apart from Crane that is, knew what they were doing and did not object in the slightest.

As for their classes, the workload increased tenfold with the passing months. Their homework, which had never been light, was now reaching such levels that the students were close to having nervous breakdowns. Peter, who had never before expressed any feelings about his work and did it without complaint, was now found furiously scribbling away at his work, a worried, panicked expression on his face. The same could be said for Remus, who was not suffering as much as Peter, but could still not get by an exam without a good amount of studying. It was no surprise when Remus and Peter began getting fed up with James and Sirius, who did not study a bit and yet passed their examinations with flying colours. In fact, the subject of their first real arguement was because James and Sirius were being particularly loud in the dormitory while Remus and Peter were attempting to study.

"Can you two keep it down?" Remus asked politely, at first. He had his index fingers plugged in his ears in a desperate attempt to rid his mind of any excess noise.

James and Sirius, who were busy playing a rowdy match of Exploding Snap, did not seem to hear him.

"Yeah, seriously," Peter added, looking up from his History of Magic homework. Their request went unnoticed as James swore noisily when his cards exploded in his face. The room was now filled with Sirius's raucous laughter and James's groans of annoyance.

"Guys, can you _please_ keep it down?" Remus repeated, more forcefully this time.

Still they did not seem to hear him and, if anything, their volume increased.

"Merlin, shut up already!"

James and Sirius finally seemed to have heard him and rounded on him, wearing bemused looks.

"Well," Sirius said huffily, "_someone's _got a broomstick stuck up their bum." James choked on his laugh and sputtered out a few coughs.

"I have not, you're just being obnoxious," Remus snarled angrily. Peter, who very much agreed with Remus, nodded furiously.

"'Obnoxious' he says," James said in a voice that sounded like he was observing a creature in a zoo. "_Well_, if we're being so obnoxious why don't you just study downstairs?"

"You think it's better down there?" Peter asked incredulously. The common room was just as bad as the dormitory.

"This is our room, we can be just as loud as we want," Sirius proclaimed, purposely raising his voice.

"This is our room too and we have the right to study up here," Remus proclaimed in a voice harshly mimicking Sirius's.

"Yeah, why don't _you_ study for a change?" Peter questioned fiercely.

"We don't have to!" Sirius and James said together. "We know all that rubbish," Sirius furthered.

"Well if you're so smart you'd let those of us with _lesser_ intelligence study," Peter huffed sardonically.

"Maybe we will," James snapped. "Then maybe the two of you will actually _pass_ a test." Before either Remus or Peter could respond, James and Sirius slammed the dormitory shut and went down into the common room.

But they got over the fight within a week and chose to pretend that it never happened. As January turned quietly into February Remus vanished once more to visit his sick mother. When he returned he looked very much like he did when he had his stomach virus. His roommates, however, made no mention of this; they were keen on avoiding any more rows. James and Sirius now knew better than to being rudely loud when their roommates were studying. While Peter, Remus and Frank (who was also easily distracted by noise when studying) were poring over their notes, Sirius and James would sit in the background and do some more research for their prank.

They received the necessary fireworks after the February Hogsmeade trip. Jacob, Julie and Andy arrived in the common room with two crates of Dr. Filibuster's fireworks. They stowed them away under Frank's bed, as Frank was the least likely person to be harbouring any contraband. They just had to be careful to not let the conditions in the room get warm enough to ignite them and, in result, blow up Frank's bed, especially if he was in it. James, Sirius, Peter and Frank spent a good amount of time, when they had no homework, looking up more spells, trying to find something that James described as "the clincher." They didn't find anything overly helpful, but that didn't stop them from looking.

The snow that February brought melted into slush as March arrived, bringing large amounts of rain. March dawned quietly enough. On the first, James, Sirius and Peter were taking advantage of Remus's absence to discuss what they were going to do on their friend's birthday, which fell on the tenth. They talked about it in Charms class while Professor Flitwick, who had still not recovered his normally cheerful disposition, walked about the classroom, assisting his students.

"What should we get him?" Sirius asked, poking his wand hopelessly at the frog he was supposed to be levitating.

"You're doing it wrong, Sirius," Peter said.

Sirius chose to ignore this and voiced his question again.

James shrugged. "What does he _want_?"

"I dunno. You already got him that photo album. He's been filling it up with all his old pictures."

"Those weird pictures that don't move?" Peter said, levitating his frog in the air.

"They're not _weird_. They're the pictures that Muggles take," James corrected. "He doesn't know how to make the potion that makes them move, and I guess his dad doesn't either."

"There's an idea."

"What, Sirius?"

"We can probably ask Slughorn to teach us how to make it. Slughorn loves us; he'd do anything we asked him to."

And so they did. The boys snuck down to the dungeons that day and asked Professor Slughorn if he could teach them. There was a price, of course. James and Sirius, who had been successfully avoiding going to any of Slughorn's gatherings, had to promise to attend the next one. James and Sirius would rather drink poison than attend a party with Professor Slughorn's favourite students (a group that included Severus Snape), but they knew that it would be worth it in the end. Or they at least hoped that Remus would realise the pains they had gone through when it came time for their birthdays.

Remus loved his present and instantly took out his camera so he would have pictures to develop in the potion. He was up late into the night (as he had managed to somehow use the entire roll of film that day) developing the pictures and watching as they moved about in their frames. He grinned to himself as he thought about the "horrors" his friends had gone through in order to get him this present, James and Sirius, at least. Peter was dubbed to be the lucky one as he managed to avoid going to a Slug Club party. They would be attending it the next night and there were rumors that Professor Slughorn had gotten a Chaser from the Chudley Cannons to go. That thought made his friends think the party may be a little bearable; even though neither of them were the biggest Chudley Cannons fans.

The wet weather in March grew to be so bad that all outside classes and activities (which miraculously included Quidditch) were cancelled. A week after Remus's birthday the Gryffindor first years were sitting in a secluded portion of an empty classroom during break, talking in hushed voices. They had sent Remus off to find Jacob and his two friends.

"I don't think June is a good idea for the prank," Peter was saying when Remus appeared with Jacob, Julie and Andy.

"Why not?" Julie asked, folding her arms across her chest and looking rather disconcerted. Everything they had planned was set for June.

"Because it'll be easier for you guys, you won't have your N.E. to worry about."

"Yes we will."

"No, listen, Andy," Peter continued, looking at Green. "Yeah, you'll have them coming _up_ but it's a lot easier than just us first years trying to pull it off without you."

The seventh years were silent before Jacob said slowly, "He's right, you know. We can make it a lot better probably if we pull it off earlier."

"When are we going to do it?" Alice Gordon asked, looking up from the library book she was poring over.

"Well, April's too early," Sirius surmised thoughtfully. "March is already half over."

"That leaves May then, doesn't it?" James said, looking over at his friend. "We'll have to get moving faster."

"Yeah, we thought we had at least a month more," Lily said, circling a helpful looking spell in her Charms textbook.

"Well, we have to study either way. Right, Jake, Julie?" Andy reminded them.

"Which means we'll need more help," Frank said, cracking his knuckles loudly. "I mean, if you guys are going to be studying, we can't stop you from doing it."

They all nodded in agreement. Now they faced another problem, true there were six Gryffindor first years who were going to be working on the project; Jacob, Julie and Andy held the bulk of the work because they were the oldest. They easily had more knowledge about how to go about everything. They were going to be the ones to initiate the spell that set off all the others, they were going to be the ones who set off the fireworks, and they alone knew how to perform the majority of the spells. They were going to sneak into Crane's classroom in the middle of the night before and plant everything.

"I'll help," said a hesitant, and completely unexpected, voice.

"What?" James said, shaking his head, clear that he had heard wrong. "I thought you wanted to stay out of it, Remus?"

Remus looked rather startled himself. The truth was that he felt left out of everything, even if it had been his own decision. He was always curious about the inner workings of Operation Get Crane Back and he had no better opportunity than the one that was presenting itself at that moment. He shrugged at James and sat down on the floor, leaning against the couch.

"I dunno," he said quietly. "I want to help." He looked up at the group, as if expecting them to shoot down his offer and say that it was far too late. Instead, they smiled and welcomed him into the plan.

Now that they had another member they seventh years began teaching him the spells they were going to do. Remus, though he did not get them as quickly as James or Sirius, was working hard to master them in order to make up for the times when he had just sat there, uninvolved. Within a few days he had mastered the spell that would start all the others. It was a difficult one and took nearly five hours one day for him to even get _part_ of it. They had tested it by performing a simple Leg Locker Curse on James. Remus had to say the incantation for the spell that timed the others and then say the incantation for the jinx. It sounded simple enough, but he had to have the time down to the exact second. So, at exactly the fiftieth second of the thirteen minute of the eighteenth hour of the twentieth day of March of the year 1972, James's legs became locked together, he overbalanced, and toppled backwards onto his bed.

March twenty seventh marked James's twelfth birthday. He had gone noticeably out of his way to remind his friends, repeatedly and nonstop, of this particular event. They knew what he was really angling at; he wanted them to buy him a gift. Sirius and Remus had fun with this, mocking James and telling him that they couldn't possibly afford to buy him a nice present. He would have to settle for a pair of old socks. James, though he knew they were joking, did not take kindly to their mockery and increased his amount of pestering. Sirius, Remus and Peter therefore spent a good amount of time, when James was not around, thinking of what they could get him. Remus mentioned that his mother was an excellent at sewing and would be happy to sew something for James. They decided on having Mrs. Lupin knitting him a red jumper lined with gold and embellished with the Gryffindor lion. They presented James with the gift on the morning of the twenty seventh and James was more than thrilled.

March faded decidedly into April and three of the five Gryffindor first year boys were once again thinking of a birthday present. Sirius's birthday fell on April tenth and, for once in his life, he was actually looking forward to it. When his birthday was celebrated at home it always turned into a stuffy and formal affair. Sirius was always inclined to hide out in his room like he did on Christmas Eve. However, on his birthday it was expected, or more accurately _demanded_, that he be there with his parents' guests. His friends couldn't actually throw a party; the funds were not easily accessible. But they could make it fun for him, give him a nice gift and maybe willingly let him steal their homework.

It was not at all difficult for them to think up a gift for Sirius. He had been mercilessly hinting at them since the beginning of the month that he would like a box of every prank item imaginable. James knew that they sold a deluxe package of pranks at Zonko's Joke Shop in Hogsmeade. The problem was that the seventh years, whom they would have gone to, did not have another Hogsmeade trip until after Sirius's birthday. Peter, whose father worked in the Post Office, offered to get it for them when Peter asked.

On the morning of the tenth Sirius was violently jerked out of sleep by the obnoxiously loud singing of James, Remus, and Peter. Sirius sleepily sat up, rubbing his eyes, and gazed at his friends, knowing that they had officially lost their minds. But when Peter threw down the brightly wrapped birthday present Sirius lost all thoughts of telling them off. He tore the wrapping paper and let out a cheer of delight when he saw the contents. He eagerly sorted through them and his eyes fell upon the box of Dungbombs. He grinned maliciously and looked up at his friends.

"Uh oh," Peter said, knowing that look all too well.

"You know how you were saying we needed something else for our prank, James?" Sirius asked, the grin still plastered across his face. James nodded, unsure of what Sirius was getting at. "Why don't we slip a few of these into Crane's morning coffee?" He shook the bag of Dungbombs. Recently Crane had taken to drinking coffee in front of them while he taught; it always smelled rather disgusting, so Crane probably wouldn't notice the difference.

"That's disgusting, Sirius," Remus said, his face scrunched up in revulsion.

"So is Crane."

"Yeah… well, you're going to be the one doing that."

"Gladly."

Sirius's idea of the Dungbomb in Crane's coffee was still not what James was thinking. It would no doubt be effective, and disgusting as Remus so appropriately pointed out, but it would not be enough to drive Crane out of the school. If anything, it would drive him to give anyone he saw detention. True it would only be a class of Slytherins, but it would be unfair to them. He vaguely remembered Frank telling them that he had heard that the job of Defence Against the Dark Arts professor was cursed. Crane, naturally, would be too proud to admit that he may be afraid of this. But if they played it up… made it convincing…

"So what exactly are we going to do?" Jacob asked the next morning at breakfast. The group was sitting at the end of the Gryffindor table, farthest away from the teachers. James had just revealed his idea, which was accepted wholeheartedly. They now had the task of thinking up a good story.

"Why did the other professors leave again?" James asked impatiently. They were getting somewhere at last; surely this would drive Crane away if they pulled it off.

"One got sick," Jacob said.

"Another retired," Julie replied.

"And the other one ran off with a banshee," Andy said, a smile playing on his lips.

"How'd that happen, anyway?" Lily asked interestedly.

Jacob smiled reminiscently. "We all knew something was going on. He'd been acting really oddly, more than usual."

"I'll say," Julie continued. "He always had this really dopey smile on his face. We thought he'd found a really beautiful woman or something."

"I don't think we expected him to find a banshee," Andy said, grimacing at the thought.

"Anyway," Jacob went on. "Dumbledore wasn't very happy about it, and he hardly gets mad about anything."

"I think it was the only time anyone ever saw him confused," Julia chortled.

"The whole Entrance Hall just watched him try to figure out what to do," Andy said, his shoulders shaking as he chuckled.

"We actually got a glimpse of the banshee."

"Didn't she scream?" Alice asked, leaning forward intently.

"The professor had the decency to put a Silencing Charm on her," Jacob said. "She _wanted_ to scream badly."

"How'd they even meet?" James asked.

"Hog's Head," the three seventh years replied simply. The Hog's Head answered James's question very accurately; the gamekeeper, Hagrid, always said that you would meet a lot of strange folks there.

"Anyway," Julie went on. "First Dumbledore tried explaining that Unter, that was his name, was taking things way too far. Dumbledore's not prejudice, but he was worried about Unter's safety, dunno _why_, but he was. Then he got mad and actually _yelled_ that it wasn't natural, what they were doing."

"Unter wasn't exactly natural," Jacob muttered into his porridge. The professor was infamous for his strange behaviours, which often included chirping loudly and unexpectedly. It was only a matter of time before he did something really crazy. "So, everyone was crowded into the Entrance Hall, watching Dumbledore and Unter. They looked like they were going to start dueling. Or at least Unter did."

"That would've been interesting," Andy said, stabbing at a piece of bacon. "The two of them started yelling at each other. We couldn't even understand what they were saying, sounded like a big mess. It was so strange; none of us had ever seen Dumbledore _yell_."

"I think Unter did pull out his wand," Julie said, rubbing her chin.

Jacob said, "Anyway, Unter and the banshee made this big exit. He waved his wand really complicated like and two big birds came swooping down on him and the banshee and they disappeared out through the front doors. He was crazy, but he wasn't stupid."

The first years said nothing; they simply stared at the older students, their mouths hanging open. Why couldn't Crane have been delusional like this man and left the school like that? James was the first person to recover from his silence; he stood up just as the bell rang.

"Well, we'll get back to this later, then?"


	11. Operation Get Crane Back

Chapter Eleven  
Operation Get Crane Back

It was so close… they could envision it right before their eyes. If everything went perfectly… They _hoped_ everything would go perfectly. If that happened, they may never dread going into the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom again. Their plan wasn't foolproof, they were all aware of this. There was a certain amount of caution they had to maintain while executing it. For instance, their idea of creating a chilling tale to narrate while Crane was around had to be done vigilantly; if Crane caught them being too specific he would know what was going on. They had to be evasive. They weren't sure how to do this exactly. They had thought it would be best to use Lily and Alice, as their faces carried much innocence. Then they thought that they could use Remus and Peter, who were both exceedingly good at acting blameless. In the end, they decided that it would be best to use Jacob, Julie and Andy. They had been at the school the longest and could make their story sound most convincing.

It would be done casually, during a time when Crane could be seen leaving his classroom to go to the Staff Room. They usually saw Crane emerging right before third period on Tuesdays; always wearing a smug expression on his face (he had a class of Ravenclaw first years on that day and he enjoyed frightening them). Jacob, Julie and Andy would wander by, going considerably out of the way of their normal path to Herbology, and they would stage the conversation in voices that weren't overly loud, but loud enough for Crane to hear them. It wouldn't be suspicious for three seventh years to be talking about something such as the Defence Against the Dark Arts position being cursed. They had been at school long enough to know if it was. The first years, who had History of Magic after passing, would hang back and watch. Professor Binns wouldn't notice if they were late.

The Gryffindor first years stood off in the shadows, watching the backs of Jacob, Julie and Andy as they weaved in and out of the oncoming students. They couldn't fully hear what they were saying from the distance they were at, but they caught bits and pieces.

"Did you hear about…?" Jacob said seriously to his friends.

"The Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers?" they could hear Julie reply in a politely interested voice.

"The curse?" Andy said, carelessly glancing toward Crane's classroom.

As the three seventh years advanced further up the corridor, the first years could no longer hear much of what they were saying. They wanted to inch a bit more along the hallway, but their chances of being spotted by Crane would be increased. So, trusting that the seventh years had performed their task admirably, they continued on to History of Magic. As they continued on their way, however, they did manage to catch a glimpse of Crane, who looked very much like he was about to start panicking. Maybe this _was_ going to work.

* * *

"Knight to E5," Sirius instructed his knight as he challenged Peter to Wizards' Chess. James, Sirius, Peter and Remus were sitting in the common room that night, waiting patiently to see their counterparts in Operation Get Crane Back. They had not seen Jacob, Julie and Andy since they went off down the corridor outside of Crane's room, and they were eager to find out exactly how Crane reacted. James and Remus turned to watch Sirius's knight crush Peter's pawn, grinning slightly at the squeals of terror coming from the piece.

"Do you think they'll be up here soon?" James asked, glimpsing towards the common room entrance. His friends shrugged. They knew the three must still be in the Great Hall. They would come up whenever they finished eating dinner.

"I think they did a good job," Remus said, scratching out a bad sentence in his Potions essay. "You saw Crane's face, didn't you?"

"Looked like he could've been sick," Sirius laughed, scooping up the broken pieces of one of his rooks and dropping them in the box.

"When are we destroying his room?" Peter asked, directing one of his pawns across the board.

"Not _destroying_," James said in a mock hurt voice. "We're… _changing_ it a bit."

"So we're destroying it, then?"

"We don't want to say that out loud. But we're doing it on Friday."

"No, we're not," Remus said, looking up from his homework. "That's when it's happening; we're doing the actual work on Thursday night."

"Which would _technically_ be Friday, since we're doing it past midnight."

"Yeah, yeah. So has everyone gotten their spells down?"

"I do," the three boys replied at once.

"What about Lily, Alice and Frank?"

"Lily's known hers since the day we showed it to her," James said admiringly.

"Frank's almost got his. He just needs to fix it up a bit," Sirius said, frowning as Peter declared checkmate.

"Alice told me she knows hers," Peter said, smiling in triumph as he won the match of chess.

"We're doing this in shifts, right?" Remus asked, placing his sheet of parchment in his Potions notebook.

"Yeah, except you," James answered. "You're staying there the whole time, so you can figure out when everything is going to happen."

"Lucky me."

As the boys were getting ready to go upstairs and put their belongings away the entrance to the common room opened and the seventh years strode in, all looking rather pleased with themselves. They spotted the boys and gestured for them to follow them. They led the boys over to a secluded section of the room and told them, in hushed voices, that they had successfully managed to convince Crane that soon all hell would ensue in his classroom.

"He'll be handing in his resignation by Friday evening," Andy reported gleefully.

* * *

Remus sat in the pitch-black Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom at one in the morning, safely hidden under a desk. He had just assisted Lily, Frank and Alice in setting up their hexes and jinxes and he was now waiting patiently for Jacob, Julie and Andy to arrive under James's Invisibility Cloak. They had all been surprised when James produced a silver, liquid-like cloak that evening when they had been discussing how they would get from Gryffindor Tower to the classroom. They had originally decided on going one by one, so it would be easier to get away if they were caught. Luckily, James's father had given James his old cloak for Christmas.

Remus was not at all comfortable, nor was he feeling very brave. They had to stop five times because they could have sworn they heard someone approaching the room. It only turned out to be the wind and the castle making noises, but it was unnerving nonetheless. He peered out from under the desk and squinted through the darkness before remembering that it was useless. He wouldn't be able to see them coming because of the cloak. He had to wait for the signal – a low whistle, then a high one, then a low one. He crawled back into his hiding place and waited once more. _Two shifts left_, he thought, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He was tired; he just wanted to go to bed.

Faintly he could hear the signal issued - the seventh years had arrived. They had to walk carefully, as they were bringing the crate of fireworks. The door to the classroom clicked and opened as quietly as the seventh years could manage. One of the most important instructions Remus had been given was to lock the door every time a shift left. It would look too suspicious if the door was kept unlocked. Remus could barely see the three pairs of feet walk by the desk, but he now knew they had taken the Invisibility Cloak off. He backed out from under the desk and stood up, causing Julie to gasp in surprise.

"Sorry," he whispered, straightening out his robes.

"Its fine," she said quickly, pulling her wand out and looking around. "Where do we begin?"

"Well, Frank put a Levitation Charm on the stuff on Crane's desk, so that's done with," Remus said, looking around and recalling what had already been jinxed. "That happens first. Lily and Alice hexed the windows so they open and close by themselves, that happens after what Frank did."

"I'm supposed to set up the fireworks," Jacob said, lifting up a particularly heavy looking crate. "Where should they go?"

Remus shrugged. "Anywhere except that desk," he said, jerking his head towards his hiding place. "And you probably don't want to put them under _any _desks; we don't want to actually hurt the class."

Jacob nodded and began walking around, looking for the opportune spots. Julie was supposed to do something similar to what Lily and Alice did, except the spell was to be placed on the doors. Remus followed her over to the doors in the room, performing the timing spell for her. Once she was finished, she pocketed her wand and waited for Andy to do his job, which was to make the blackboard spin around uncontrollably. By the time Andy and Remus finished with the board, Jacob had finished placing the fireworks and all Remus had to do was set them a time to go off.

The seventh years bid Remus goodnight, took the Invisibility Cloak and set off for Gryffindor Tower. Remus disappeared back under the desk, rubbing his tired eyes as he did so. It was almost over, that was his only consolation. He just had to wait for James, Sirius and Peter to do their job and he could go back to the dormitory with them. They had planned this to take as little time as possible. It would look a little odd if ten students were extremely tired on the same day. He gazed around the room, trying to see if anyone was coming, or if Crane had suddenly decided to do an inspection of his room in the early morning hours. Luckily, Crane didn't seem to be _that_ crazy and Remus was very much alone.

After what seemed like an hour, but was probably only fifteen minutes, Remus heard the signal and knew his friends had arrived. He slid out from under the desk and unlatched the door for them. He warily stuck his head through the doorway and looked down both ends of the corridor. Even in the darkness he would be able to see the outline of a forthcoming figure, but he saw nothing. They were under the cloak. Very faintly he could hear Sirius call his name. Remus responded with the signal and, once the boys entered the room, they set to work.

* * *

At the thirtieth second of the fifteen minute of the tenth hour of the nineteenth day of May of 1972 the objects on Professor Crane's desk began moving up and down and no one knew exactly why. Crane's quills did back flips, the inkbottles did a number of cartwheels, and the parchment did a jig. The class of Slytherin first years watched, transfixed at the site. They knew that _they_ weren't doing it, and the professor seemed far too bewildered to be behind it.

Approximately two minutes later, the windows began opening and closing on their own accord, making such a racket that Crane could not make his voice heard. The class jumped when they first heard the noise. What was going on? An invisible force continued to bang the windows around, and once again Crane seemed too shocked to know what was happening. The objects on the desk were still floating in midair, continuing to perform their manoeuvers. The windows kept hammering in such a way that no one could tell if it would stop.

Another two minutes passed before the doors began the same course as the windows. Another minute went by before the blackboard that Crane was attempting to write on began whirling around like a top. Crane fell backwards in shock and scrambled up to his feet, mouthing wordlessly. He went to sit down at his desk, needing a way to steady himself, but the chair promptly moved out of reach of his bottom.

Cursing quite loudly, Crane picked himself up and decided the best thing to do was to seek a haven in his office. There was just one hitch. The entrance to his office (which had moments before been opening and closing uncontrollably) had sealed itself off and would not budge. He needed something… he went to his coffee goblet (which had mercifully not been filled with Dungbombs). When he went to drink it the coffee promptly shot out at his face. Crane's only luck was that it was not burning hot. He yelled out in frustration and chucked the goblet to the floor.

Another minute passed before the fireworks exploded, filling the room with clouds of colourful smoke and sparks. The explosion was so loud that no one could hear the foul words that issued from Crane's mouth. No one could hear him screaming that it was true. No one could see him fall prey to the cunning minds of the Gryffindor students. They did hear one thing, however, once he could make his voice heard.

At the sixteenth second of the twenty fifth minute of the tenth hour of the nineteenth day of May of 1972, Professor Crane was announcing his resignation.

* * *

The class of Slytherin first years were fortunately kept out of detention and the true culprits were never caught. They made sure to leave no trace of themselves in the room that could give the slightest hint to who they were. They simply sat in gleeful silence as Professor Dumbledore announced that Defence Against the Dark Arts classes would cease for the remainder of the year. Professor Crane had gone running out of the castle the moment he told Dumbledore he quit. The students, despite the fact they knew it was inappropriate, could not contain their cheers. The professors, it seemed, could also not contain their grins of satisfaction. Professor Dumbledore halfheartedly tried to calm his students' cheers, but in the end he let them stop on their own.

It became common knowledge throughout the Gryffindors, and eventually the rest of the school, who the culprits were. For the remainder of the school year, the first years, Jacob, Julie and Andy were received with pats on the back and congratulations. James and Sirius were taking this in stride; they beamed at the unending accolades. Remus and Peter found it amusing, or at least Peter did. Remus found it somewhat exasperating, but pretended that he didn't find it annoying. Some people, Lily Evans in particular, found his behaviour grating and, in fact, stopped speaking to James.

Still, the shock of Crane's departure dissipated slowly, and the cheers and accolades went with it. Now the students had their exams to worry about. The seventh and fifth years were rarely seen outside of their common rooms or the library as they desperately prepared for their N.E.W.T. and O.W.L. examinations. Severe warnings were being given out to anyone who disturbed the peace of the common rooms. The fifth year prefects were not about to let their grades suffer because of noise. The younger students studied restlessly for their end-of-the-year exams. They could be found sitting in the library at unusual hours, even the students who never studied at all (such as James and Sirius) could now be seen cracking open a book or two. Remus and Peter, who had been waiting for this moment all year, could not even spare a moment to gloat about this.

The exams came and went, much to the relief of the students. All that was left was the End-of-the-Year feast and the announcement of which house had won the House Cup. Judging from the amount of stones in the hourglasses, Ravenclaw appeared to be the winner, with Slytherin trailing second. The Great Hall was decked out in blue and bronze banners, embellished with eagles. The students talked loudly and cheerfully as they ate their dinners on the final day of school, discussing what they would be doing over the summer. Professor Dumbledore stood up and silence fell straight away.

"The end of another year," he said, his eyes gleaming at the happy faces of his students. "An, ah, eventful year at best." The students sniggered, all knowing what he meant. "I believe that now is the appropriate time to announce the winner of the House Cup this year. In fourth place is Hufflepuff with two hundred and ninety six points. In third place is Gryffindor with three hundred points. Coming in second is Slytherin with four hundred and thirty three points. And the winner of the House Cup for this year is Ravenclaw with four hundred and thirty seven points!"

The Ravenclaw table erupted into raucous applause, celebrating their victory.

* * *

The Hogwarts Express chugged through the murky grey countryside; rain was pattering on the windows of the compartments. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter sat in their lantern lit compartment, swapping Chocolate Frog cards and talking about what they planned to do while on holiday.

"My parents are going to take me to France. They love France and always wanted to take me there. We leave on Monday, actually," James said, taking the Merlin card that Remus was handing him.

"Bloody French," Sirius muttered, ripping open a package of Drooble's gum with his teeth.

"What do you have against the French?"

"They have stinky cheese."

James rolled his eyes. "Anyway, my parents said we'll only be gone for two weeks and when we get back you guys can spend a week at my house, if you want." He looked up at his friends expectantly.

"I'll try," Sirius said, shrugging. "My parents might not be _thrilled_ about me going to your house, but they might like that it gets rid of me faster."

James nodded and turned his attention to Remus.

"What week is that?" he asked, looking fairly nervous.

James thought for a moment, recalling the dates his parents had given him. "The week of the 23rd."

Remus frowned; there was a full moon right in the middle of that week. He shook his head sadly. "I don't think I can."

"What?"

"I can't come that week."

"Why not?"

"I dunno. My dad said it's just not going to be a good week for me to go anywhere."

James looked annoyed, but said nothing else. Instead he said to Peter, "please tell me _you_ can come. I don't want to be stuck with Sirius all week."

"I think I can," Peter replied, grinning. "I just have to check with my parents. I'll send you an owl when I have an answer."

They spent the remainder of the ride playing Exploding Snap, which was basically pointless. James, Sirius and Peter knew that their one victory of Remus was not going to be repeated, but they tried anyway. By the time they were finished, Sirius was ready to fling the deck of cards out the window. Remus managed to stop Sirius, as they were his only deck and he was not letting them float about the countryside for all eternity.

The Hogwarts Express pulled up at Platform Nine and Three Quarters and the students began filing into the corridors and out into the overcast day. The four boys dragged their trunks around the platform and Sirius instantly spotted his mother and father standing with a boy who looked very much like a younger Sirius. Sirius led his friends behind a large group of seventh years who were saying goodbye to each other, so as to avoid catching his parents' eyes.

"Write me, okay?" he said, looking over his shoulder to make sure his family had not seen him. The three boys nodded. "I'll see you and Peter in two weeks, then," he said to James. "Maybe we can all meet in Diagon Alley?"

"Yeah, when the booklists come," Remus said.

"See you, then." Sirius grasped the handle of his trunk and reluctantly dragged it to his parents and brother.

"Come on," James said, jerking his thumb towards the platform barrier. "Our parents are out there." Sure enough, when they emerged on the other side, their parents were standing together, awaiting the arrival of their sons. Once the boys were finished greeting their parents, they turned to each other.

"I'll see you in two weeks, James," Peter said.

"Yeah, Pete," James said, smiling. "Try and come, Remus?"

"I don't know…" Remus replied, looking at the ground.

"At least write."

"Of course, I can still do that."

"Well, see you guys soon then."

The boys grabbed their trunks and followed their families in separate directions, ready to begin their summer holidays.


	12. Summer Moons

Chapter Twelve  
Summer Moons

Remus sat in a squashy armchair in an office at St. Mungo's, waiting for his father to finish speaking with Healer Smethwyk. They had been talking for almost an hour and his father had said it would take no more than twenty minutes. Remus rolled his eyes at the thought, he should have known better. His parents always told him something wouldn't take long and then they ended up doing that thing much longer than he had anticipated. He glanced over his shoulder at his father and the Healer, struggling to repress the groan of annoyance that was threatening to come out. They had only come to pick up a new potion that was supposed to cure his lycanthropy. How long could that take? Then again, he wasn't even eager to get it; it wasn't as if it would actually work. Nothing they ever tried did, so why should this?

"It hasn't been tested yet, Harry," Healer Smethwyk was saying. He had been the Healer who had helped Remus right after he was bitten by the werewolf, and that had been nine years ago. He had helped Remus ever since, so his parents and the Healer were on a first name basis. "But I don't think anything harmful should come out of it. Remus has never had any positive or negative effects from anything we've tried on him."

Remus threw them an exasperated look. Smethwyk always talked about him as if he were an experiment when it came to the numerous "cures" they had come up with. _Remus has never had any positive or negative reactions_. He was a boy, not a lab rat. He settled himself back in the chair again and continued staring at the wall, which was, in his opinion, the most interesting thing in the entire office. He drummed his fingers on the arm of the chair, listening impatiently as his father spoke.

"No, he hasn't," Harry agreed. "But are you _sure_ it's safe?"

"There isn't anything in there that can do particular harm," Smethwyk replied confidently. "That much we know."

Harry sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "What do you think, Remus?"

"I don't care," Remus replied indifferently. He knew not to get his hopes up.

"Remus," Harry said warningly. He needed a definite answer.

"Yes, fine, whatever! Can we _please_ just go home?"

Harry turned back to Healer Smethwyk and shrugged. "I guess we'll be taking this then." He scooped up the package off the desk and pocketed it.

"Remember, he has to take that one hour before the full moon rises," Smethwyk instructed.

Harry nodded. "Thank you, Hippocrates. Come on, Remus."

* * *

James sat in the sitting room of his home, staring into the flames of the crackling fireplace. At any moment Sirius would be toppling through emerald green flares, ready to start the week. The next day they would be sitting in the same position, waiting for Peter to join them. Peter was just coming back from a camping trip with his father and wanted to spend one day at home before leaving again. James and his parents had only gotten back from France the day before and he could not be happier. Not that he didn't_ like_ France; he just couldn't stand it when his parents had to eat the snails that Muggles found so delicious. They had managed to make him try one and he had yet to find something that tasted worse. He couldn't wait to get home and eat foods he was used to eating. Other than the food, James enjoyed seeing the sites, especially the Muggle monument – the Eiffel Tower.

James stood up to stretch and walk around a bit; he had been sitting down for at least an hour. Sirius had not been specific with the time; he had just said he would be arriving in the afternoon. He couldn't wait for Sirius to get there. He had gotten so used to always having someone his age around at school that he had completely forgotten what it was like at home where there was no one. Yes, he had his parents, but they weren't the type of people he could hang out with, especially since they were old. He would talk to his father, sometimes play a round of Gobstones, or he would help his mother in the kitchen with Willie, but that was as entertaining as it got. At school there was always someone his age around.

James picked up the copy of the _Daily Prophet_ that was lying on the end table and looked at the headline: _New Cure Found for Werewolves_. James sometimes heard his father talking about those cures that never worked. His father felt bad for the werewolves who depended on these cures and who were constantly disappointed when they didn't work. James couldn't imagine what it must be like, to have to endure those dreadful transformations every month and then, when a miracle was so close, to find out it was nothing but an invented false hope. His father didn't often work with werewolves at St. Mungo's, but he had often gone inside the wards where they were after they were first bitten and saw how sickly they looked. James placed the paper back on the table and looked towards the fire once more.

Suddenly green flames erupted under the mantle and a figure began spinning around and promptly toppled face first out of the grate and onto the carpet. Sirius Black slowly got to his feet and dusted his robes off.

"Where's your stuff?" James asked, noticing that only Sirius had fallen out. Sirius held out a finger and turned back to the fireplace. Only a moment later a suitcase came falling out after him.

"I think my parents were hoping it would land on me," Sirius surmised. "So," he went on, picking up his suitcase, "How was France?"

"You were right about the cheese," James replied. "I don't think I've ever smelled anything that disgusting."

"Did you eat it?"

"It didn't taste as bad as it smelled."

Sirius laughed. "Peter's coming tomorrow?"

"Yeah, around one he said." James began leading the way out of the sitting room and towards the staircase. "Come on, I'll show you my room and where you'll be sleeping."

Sirius followed James out of the room and up a flight of stairs. As they walked, he observed the walls and saw numerous pictures of a smiling James. There seemed to be at least two for every year of his life. Sometimes he was alone, sometimes with his parents; Sirius even saw one of James with the family house elf. Sirius tried remembering the last time he had taken a picture with his parents where he actually smiled like James did. Smiling was almost illegal when it came to taking photos in the Black Family. He and his brother had to look as regal as possible.

They entered James's room and Sirius had only a moment's glance around before James veered off through another door. This led into a guest room that was complete with a bed, a bureau, a closet, a bookshelf filled with books, and a bathroom. Sirius set his trunk down on the bed and sat down beside it. It was clear that the Potters loved having company; they went through a lot of trouble to make this room comfortable. He wondered if Peter was going to stay in the room too, there was only one bed. Then again, if the Potters loved company they would have more than one guest room.

"Peter's going to be staying in the guest room down the hall," James said, as though reading Sirius's mind. "So, my parents will be back in an hour. They went up to Hogsmeade. My mum said dinner will be ready around seven, so we have a lot of time." He folded his arms across his chest. "Want to play Quidditch?"

Sirius jumped up. "Yeah!"

"Come on, we've got the broom shed in the yard. We live far enough away from any Muggles that we can actually use the real game balls." Sirius pulled his robe off, leaving him in his Muggle clothes, like James, and the two dashed down to the backyard.

* * *

The sun was beginning to sink, casting a blood red glow in the sky. It was exactly one hour until the full moon would rise, and Remus was nowhere to be found. He had gone out for a walk, though his mother strongly advised against it. He was not looking at all well, but he completely disregarded her warning and had been gone for at least two hours. Normally she would not have been worried; Remus knew the area like he knew his own house. Today, however, was not a normal day and he needed to be home. He had to take the potion the Healer had given them. She peered anxiously out the window, but did she not see him. All she saw was Harry sitting on the porch, waiting for his son to come home.

She stepped outside with her husband. "Still no sign of him," she said apprehensively.

Harry shook his head. "He'll be back soon," he said, in what he hoped was a confident voice.

"He was looking mad when he left."

"He's not exactly thrilled about this cure, Anna."

"He's never thrilled about _any_ of them."

"I think it's that he knows not to get too eager; he thinks that it won't work."

They fell silent. Another five minutes passed before they saw a figure emerging from around the corner. Remus was approaching, his hands in his pockets, and a pained, sickly expression on his face. He climbed the steps of the porch and looked at his parents expectantly. Harry fished for something in his pants pocket and pulled out a small bottle filled with a seaweed green liquid. He uncorked it and wordlessly handed it to his son. Remus looked at it and, deciding it would be best to get it over with, downed it in one gulp, coughing at the peppery taste.

"Where did you go?" Anna asked once Remus's coughing had subsided.

"Just for a walk," Remus replied vaguely, grimacing at the taste the potion left in his mouth. His parents said nothing else; they merely waited for the full moon to rise. About ten minutes before, Harry led his son to the shed at the very end of their backyard. It had been charmed so, no matter how Remus bad was during his transformation, he could not get out. They still had to lock Remus in there for safety precautions, in case the potion didn't work. Harry secured Remus inside and slowly backed away. The moon would be coming out in just moments. He didn't want to listen. If it worked… If it worked, then he would hear nothing. Remus wouldn't transform.

Anna joined her husband ten feet away from the shed. "It will work, won't it?" she asked hopefully. She couldn't stand listening to her son's cries of agony every month.

Harry sighed and gazed at the silent shed. "I hope it does."

They looked up at the purple sky and saw the glow of the full moon coming out from behind the trees. They listened with bated breath for the usual sounds of Remus's transformation, praying that they wouldn't come. The shed was silent. Harry and Anna chanced grinning at each other; the potion appeared to have worked. They moved forward and just as Anna went to peer through the window on the shed, Remus's pain-filled scream pierced through the shed walls, startling her. There was something different this time. It lasted longer than it usually did, and it sounded worse than normal. She threw Harry a terrified look over her shoulder. The potion hadn't worked, it made it worse.

* * *

James, Sirius and Peter sat at the dining room table, eating their breakfast and discussing their plans for the day ahead. Sirius and Peter would be leaving that Saturday, and it was Thursday. They had to make the best of their limited time. They had spent the better part of the week playing Quidditch, an activity that Peter was not very fond of. They had visited Hogsmeade with Mrs. Potter and stocked up on sweets from Honeyduke's Sweet Shop. They would be going with Mr. Potter to St. Mungo's the next day. Mrs. Potter and Willie the house elf would be going to get groceries and other items for the house, and the boys were not trusted to stay at the house by themselves. Mr. and Mrs. Potter were not keen on arriving home to discover that their house had been blown up. So, to avoid this, the boys would be going to work with Mr. Potter.

"We could play Quidditch again," Sirius suggested, spearing a sausage onto his fork.

"No," Peter responded at once. He couldn't bear another humiliating game of defeat. "We can go into town?"

"I live too far away to walk," James said, swirling around the egg yolks he was supposed to be eating. "My mum's too busy to go with us, and my dad's at work. Besides, they'd never let us go alone."

"There's a lake around here, isn't there?" Sirius asked, vaguely remembering James mentioning it.

James nodded. "Through the woods, behind my house."

"Want to go swimming then?"

Both James and Peter readily agreed to this thought. After they finished breakfast, James called to his mother, who was busy working on some of her paintings, telling her that they were going to go swimming down at the lake. It was a fifteen minute walk in the blistering heat. Luckily they were walking through the woods, which were shady and fairly cooler than if they had been walking in direct sunlight. The trees began to thin out and they saw a secluded lake, surrounded by tall green trees and round bushes. They approached the shore of the lake and James stuck his foot in the water, shivering and quickly withdrawing it.

"It's really cold," he said.

"Well, it's really hot," Sirius said, not hesitating before jumping in. When he was in the water long enough to register the temperature, he shouted, "Merlin! It's freezing!"

"That's what I said."

"_No_, you said it was just really cold." He swam a few laps, adjusting to the water, before saying, "Take this," and he flung his sopping wet t-shirt in James's face.

"Git," James muttered, pulling the shirt off his face and dropping it unceremoniously in the dirt. He and Peter joined Sirius in the freezing water, which was much more preferable to standing in the humidity. They raced each other a few times, and played a Muggle game that Peter taught them. It involved one of them shutting their eyes and searching for the others just from the sounds of their voices and movements. Sirius didn't take too kindly to this game and cheated by opening his eyes whenever he went underwater. He couldn't quite understand the point of the activity.

An hour and a half later the boys found themselves trooping back to James's house, laughing and talking animatedly. Sirius and Peter were having a good laugh over James, who had started shrieking like a girl when a piece of seaweed locked itself around his leg and refused to let go. James had been convinced that it was a deadly sea creature of some sort, and Sirius had to swim down to see what it really was. As they neared the house, they began to wonder when their booklists would arrive, so they could meet in Diagon Alley. It couldn't be very long. It was almost August.

"When we get them, we have to meet up there," Sirius was saying as they walked through the front door.

"Yeah, and one of us has got to send Remus an owl, telling him to come," James said, leading the way into the kitchen.

"I'm afraid your friend won't be able to join you," came the voice of James's father. He was home early. They spun around to see Mr. Potter standing behind them, looking grim.

"What?" James asked, confused.

Mr. Potter heaved a sigh and gestured for the boys to sit down. "I was at work today and I saw Harry Lupin there. Remus is… a bit sick right now."

* * *

Charles Potter was walking down the first floor corridor of St. Mungo's. He had not been assigned to this floor, but he was on his break and needed a word with Healer Smethwyk about whether or not they were going to continue distributing the potion that was supposed to cure lycanthropy. He knew the night before had been a full moon and was curious to see if it had worked. Personally, he was hopeful that it had. It would solve so many problems for the Wizarding community, erase so many prejudices. He knew Smethwyk was working at the moment and could probably find him in one of the wards, tending to a patient.

He was shocked to find, not Healer Smethwyk, but Harry Lupin standing in the corridor, his face deathly pale, staring fixedly at the floor. At first Charles thought something was wrong with Harry, but then realised that this notion was ridiculous. If _he_ had been the injured one then he would not be standing in the corridor when there were many Healers capable of assisting him. Charles checked his watch. He was hardly well into his break; he didn't need to worry about getting to work. And if it was something serious… He cleared his throat and move toward Harry.

"Hullo, Harry," he greeted, his hands folded behind his back and observing the man closely.

Harry jumped, startled, and wheeled around to face his greeter. He tried to smile, but it came out as strained and unnatural. "Hullo, Charles."

"What brings you to St. Mungo's?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing at all."

"You just fancy standing in a hospital corridor?"

"It's better than standing outside in that heat."

"Harry, please, what happened?"

Before Harry could answer, the door beside him opened and Healer Smethwyk appeared, carrying a clipboard of notes. He took no notice of Charles's presence and spoke to Harry in quiet tones as he consulted his clipboard.

"We figured out what happened," he said. Harry nodded, allowing the Healer to go on. "The potion was made with Sopophorous Beans; did you know your son is violently allergic to them?" Harry shook his head, his eyes wide. He couldn't recall a time when Remus had ever encountered that substance. How was he to know that his son was allergic? "Well, they caused him to have a particular aggressive transformation, as you already know." He sighed and looked through his notes. "He has sustained numerous lacerations and bruises, which can be fixed easily enough. He injured a number of his ribs, which can be mended, though they will be sore. We have a potion that can relieve some of the soreness. His jaw was fractured, but we can also patch that up in no time." He crossed something out on the parchment he was reading and placed the clipboard under his armpit. "It's his leg we have a problem with."

As Healer Smethwyk spoke, Charles could not help but realise what this meant. James had never before mentioned that his friend was a werewolf and now he was certain that James probably had no idea. If he had, he certainly would have told him and his mother. This was why Harry's son had appeared so sickly when he had first met him at Platform Nine and Three Quarters. This was also probably why Remus had declined James's invitation to spend the week. He couldn't possibly come when there was a full moon in the middle of the week. He had seen many children who had been bitten by werewolves, and hardly any of them deserved it.

"– can mend the bones, but it will be difficult for him to walk for a few weeks," Healer Smethwyk was saying. "We recommend he uses these wooden sticks Muggles use, they're called crutches. They're not the best method, but they will help him get around until his leg fully heals."

"Can I see him?" Harry asked urgently.

"He's sleeping right now, best he's not disturbed. You can still sit with him if you like." He removed the clipboard from under his arm and clasped it in his hands. "Excuse me, Harry; I have to bring this to my office. Morning, Charles," he added when he saw Charles standing behind them.

Harry seemed surprised that Charles was still there, and he seemed horrified. "You know, then?" he said, almost in a whisper.

"That your son is a werewolf? I do now," Charles replied, keeping his voice quiet, as Healer Smethwyk had neglected to close the ward door.

"Please, don't tell James."

"James isn't prejudice, he wouldn't turn against-"

"I know he wouldn't, but Remus doesn't want anyone to know, now more than ever."

"James and his friends are supposed to be coming with me tomorrow, they might wander up here."

"Tell them he's sick then, and he can't have any visitors. Please."

"Of course, I understand. I'll do just that. I have to get back to work. I hope Remus gets better. See you, then, Harry." Charles walked past the open doorway into the ward and glance inside. He could see Harry's son sleeping on a bed in the very back. He wished he could tell James what was wrong with his friend; he had expressed concerns about it so many times. He could never understand why his friend was always sick; he only hoped that one day he would find out.


	13. Diagon Alley

Chapter Thirteen  
Diagon Alley

John Lupin sat in the living room of his son's house, reading a copy of the _Evening Prophet_ and absentmindedly scratching Dommie behind the ear. He glanced up occasionally, wondering where his grandson had gotten too, and then returned back to his reading. The house was quiet. His son and daughter-in-law had gone out for the evening and they had asked him to keep an eye on Remus. John couldn't refuse; Harry and Anna had not been out alone for quite some time since Remus returned from school. He had to say, his grandson was in an exceptionally bad mood. He had expected this, naturally, but not to the extent he had seen it. Remus hadn't said as much as a "hullo" since John entered the house. Remus always made it a point to greet him. He simply hobbled away into the next room and had yet to come out. John folded up the paper and decided to look for his grandson.

When he arrived Harry and Anna had told him that it was best if Remus was left alone, as he was in no mood to talk. John honestly couldn't blame him; he had seen Remus while he was at St. Mungo's and he hadn't looked well at all and he did not say a word the entire time. John hadn't expected his grandson's temper to change in only a few days. He poked his head into the kitchen and saw that Remus was not in there. The only sign that he had been in there at all was the half eaten plate of dinner his mother had left for him. Assuming that the rest was not going to be eaten, John took the plate, dumped the remainders out, and placed it in the sink to clean up later.

Walking across the kitchen, he peered down the hallway and saw that the door to Harry's study was ajar. His grandson must have been hiding out in there. Harry spent a lot of his time writing his articles for the paper, and working on his novel that was likely to never be published, or finished, in his study. It was filled with old, slightly battered books that had been read uncountable times. There was a long, comfortable couch that Harry used whenever he had to think about what he wanted to write. A desk sat in the back and was often full with crumpled pieces of parchment and spare or broken quills. It was a peaceful, yet messy, room and John could understand why someone in a bad mood would seek a haven in there.

Sure enough, when he entered the darkened room he found his grandson sprawled out on the couch, gazing out the skylight at the star strewn sky. John cleared his throat, catching Remus's attention.

"Thought I'd find you in here," John said, crossing the room and sitting down at the desk. Remus said nothing; he simply looked back out the skylight. "Hungry? Your grandmother baked some biscuits and gave me some to bring here." It was a stupid question really, as he had seen that Remus was not hungry. Remus shook his head. John lit the lamp on the desk and the room was illuminated in warm light. In the light he could see the fading scars on his grandson's face. He frowned; he couldn't understand why it had to be Remus, of all people, who had to suffer such a fate.

"Why don't you come and sit inside?" John offered. Remus shrugged and muttered some nonsense. "Come on, Remus. You can't just sit in here by yourself."

"I was until you came in," he mumbled.

John grinned slightly, but quickly hid it and cleared his throat once more. "Aren't you bored in here?" Remus shook his head. "Well it doesn't look like much fun sitting in here alone."

"It beats having to walk anywhere."

"You had to walk to get here."

Remus looked at his grandfather, but said nothing. He shifted in his seat, wincing as his leg throbbed painfully.

"Do you want something for that, Remus?"

"No."

"It must hurt a lot."

"It does."

"What's the matter, Remus?"

"Nothing! I'm just… sick of everything." John leaned back in his chair, now they were getting somewhere. "I just _hate_ this. These people keep making up cure after cure and they _all_ say that it's going to work and that I won't have to be a werewolf anymore and they _never _work. I don't understand why they even give them out to the public before testing them on a willing werewolf, just so they don't have to get our hopes up that we can be normal."

"You are normal, Remus."

Remus laughed harshly. "Normal, right, because normal people turn into big hairy monsters once a month."

"Don't call yourself a monster," John said firmly. "You're letting what other people think of werewolves get the better of you."

"What if they're right, though?" Remus questioned fiercely. "Look what I did to _myself_! If I could do this to myself, can you imagine what I could do to someone else?"

"You're not going to hurt anyone else; your parents have taken all the necessary precautions and Dumbledore's done the same at school."

"But what if I get out? What if I get out of that stupid building or I don't make it on time and get out through the tunnel?"

"They've made sure that won't happen."

"They can't guarantee that."

John sighed and looked down at the cluttered desktop. What could he possibly say to Remus to make him believe that he wasn't a monster? He wasn't even the best person to be having this conversation with, as he had never, until very recently, treated Remus as a normal person. He had not for one moment believed his grandson to be a monster, but he had still never treated Remus as he should have. And his grandson knew this too. "You would never hurt someone and Dumbledore knows this, that's why he let you in school."

"But I'm not myself when I'm a werewolf."

"I know you're not, and I can't say that when you are one you wouldn't hurt someone, but as yourself, you wouldn't." He stood up and picked up Remus's crutches, which were lying uselessly on the floor. "Now, could you please come into the living room with me? I don't like sitting by myself."

Remus eyed the crutches for a moment, deciding if he felt like getting up. He glanced up at his grandfather's hopeful face and nodded, grasping the crutches and carefully getting to his feet.

* * *

Sirius and Peter left the Potters' on the last Saturday of July, but they both promised that they would send James a letter the moment their booklists arrived so they could arrange a trip to Diagon Alley together. For the time being, James walked restlessly about his home, trying to find something to occupy his time. He had not, until the moment Sirius and Peter left, realised how dull his house could be. His father was almost always at work and his mother was almost always off doing some chore or errand with Willie. He sometimes felt that she spent more time with the house elf than she did with him. He knew that he was being fairly immature, thinking like that, but he sometimes hoped his mother would call upon him to go and help her. But when Sirius and Peter came he had people who were his age around. He could go swimming with them or play Quidditch with them. There were so many things for him to do while they were there. Now he was helplessly bored.

Not that his parents didn't care at all. His father had taken them to St. Mungo's so James could see his father at work. The plans didn't go as well as Mr. Potter would have liked, as the boys were far too distracted by their friend's illness to care what he did. Though, to the boys' disappointment, they were not allowed to go and search their friend out, as Mr. Potter had forbidden it. In fact, he had not let them on the entire first floor. They only stayed a few hours and were once again indulged in a few rounds of Quidditch, much to the discouragement of Peter. James wished he had someone to play Quidditch with at that moment. He almost considered asking Willie, but she was dreadfully afraid of heights and, therefore, did not know how to fly. He searched his father out, hoping they could get in a match of chess, but when he found his father he saw that he was busy at work. It came as a relief when the booklists arrived during the first week of August.

He received three owls the day the lists arrived. One was, of course, an owl from Hogwarts, bringing the usual start-of-the-term notice and the booklists. The other two owls both contained letters from Sirius and Peter, demanding that they go to Diagon Alley that Saturday and no later. The following day he was met with a barn owl bearing a letter hastily attached to its leg. He saw it was from Remus who, after an extensive amount of begging on his part, said he could meet them that Saturday. James grinned excitedly; he finally had something to do after a week of painful boredom. So on the first Saturday of August he found himself standing in the grate of the sitting room fireplace, ready to follow his father, who had Flooed ahead. He grabbed a handful of Floo Power and shouted his destination in a clear voice; he didn't want to end up down Knockturn Alley by mistake.

He stumbled out of the mantle in the Leaky Cauldron and was met with a considerably empty barroom. This struck him as odd. Every time he had been there before, business had been booming, now there were only five or six wizards sitting at a table in the back. Shrugging, he joined his father at the table while they waited for his mother to join them. James had told Sirius, Peter and Remus to meet him in the Leaky Cauldron, so they could set out and do their shopping together. Sirius had to do a little manoeuvering on his part. His brother was starting Hogwarts that year and his parents would more than likely be going to help Regulus find everything he needed. Sirius had to work hard to get out of their sight. He figured he would tell them he'd catch up with them after getting a drink from Tom the innkeeper.

"James!" said a voice from right behind him. He spun around, nearly toppling his seat over, and saw Peter standing behind him, his parents hurrying along in his wake.

"Hey, Pete!" James replied, as Peter's parents greeted his parents. "Second one here."

"Weird, Remus is usually annoying early," Peter said thoughtfully, pulling up a chair and sitting down.

"I am not," said an affronted voice to the right. Remus had just appeared with his parents, who were currently saying hullo to the Pettigrews and the Potters.

"Hey, Remus," the boys said, before gaping at the strange apparatus their friend was using to walk.

"What're those?" James asked.

"They're these Muggle things to help me walk; they're called crutches," he explained, sitting down in the chair beside Peter and grasping his crutches before they fell onto the back of Mr. Potter's head.

"I thought you were just sick, not that you hurt yourself," Peter said, utterly bewildered.

"I _was_ sick," Remus said quickly. He had his story all planned out. "But I tripped over my dog, who was standing by the stairs, and so I tripped down the stairs too."

"Your dog always gets you into accidents, does he?" James asked suspiciously, recalling that many of Remus's reasons for being hurt involved his dog. He was beginning to get the feeling that this wasn't completely true.

Before Remus could answer, he caught sight of a familiar head of long, black hair. Sirius was sitting at the bar, clutching a butterbeer in his hand and looking covertly around, trying to find the opportune moment to meet up with them. Mrs. Black appeared at his side, with his brother standing beside her, and muttered something to him. Sirius nodded and she left him alone. He watched her disappear into the back alley and leapt off his stool.

"Thank Merlin, I thought she'd never leave!" he said, relieved. He took the chair on the left of James. "So, have you missed me, Jamesey?" he asked in a baby-like voice.

"I don't miss seeing your ugly face every morning," James shot back, grinning.

"Oh, you know you loved it."

"Are you boys going to go do your shopping?" Hannah Potter asked.

The boys nodded and got ready to leave. Sirius wanted to hang back for a few more minutes, giving his family a decent head start, but James and Peter pushed him towards the entrance to the alley. It wasn't until the solid brick wall had successfully parted that Sirius turned to greet Remus, whom he hadn't seen in weeks.

"Remus, how've – what the bloody hell are those things?"

"Oh, these?" Remus said, as though he had just noticed his crutches were there. "They're these useful sticks for whacking stupid boys named Sirius over the head with."

James and Peter sniggered as Sirius continued to look bemused. "Seriously, Remus?"

"I hurt my leg, and the Healers fixed it, but it was really bad so I can't walk too well. They help me get around."

"They look annoying."

"They are."

They walked up the fairly empty cobblestone streets, consulting their lists every so often, trying to decide where they would go first. They had all been given their money beforehand, making a trip to Gringotts unneeded. As they made their way to Flourish and Blotts to get their new course books, they spotted their fellow Gryffindor, Frank Longbottom walking in the opposite direction, chatting animatedly with another Gryffindor, Alice Gordon. He was far too immersed in conversation to notice the elaborate waves issued by his four roommates. The boys smirked at each other and continued on their way.

They entered the nearly vacant bookstore and made their way to the table containing copies of _The Standard Book of Spells: Grade 2_. There were hardly any left. They must have been the last students to get their books. Shrugging the thought off, they snatched up their books and went to find their other belongings. They discovered their new Defence Against the Dark Arts books near the middle of the shop, and collected those as well.

"Need help with those?" James asked upon seeing Remus struggling with his textbooks. Remus nodded gratefully and handed them over.

"Aww, Potter's carrying Lupin's books," said a voice feigning sentimentality from behind one of the shelves. Through the spaces between the books, they could see a pale face lined with greasy, black hair – Severus Snape, a second year Slytherin. He was wearing a dangerously wide smirk as he came onto their side of the shelves and the boys knew immediately that this meeting would not be pleasant. "How sweet," he said when he reached them.

"You know, I think I was just reminded why I hate Snape so much," James said to Sirius, pretending that he didn't see the Slytherin.

"Is it because he's dense?"

"That's one of the reasons, especially since he says such stupid things."

Snape glared at the two, waiting for them to acknowledge him.

"Like making a dumb remark about you carrying Remus's stuff because he obviously _can't_." Sirius finally rounded on Snape, who did not falter in his position. "What's your problem, Snape?"

"I don't have a problem," Snape said defensively, raising his eyes. "I was just saying how sweet it is that-"

"Don't act so bloody innocent," Sirius snarled. He had his wand out and was pointing it between Snape's eyes. "Were we bothering you?"

"No," Snape replied, completely unfazed by Sirius's wand. "But that never stopped _you_ from attacking _me_, so I thought I'd-"

"Just get out of here!"

"I'm allowed to go wherever I want, you can't tell me."

Something seemed to have snapped within Sirius and he threw his wand arm back, ready to send a hex flying at his adversary. Peter, however, sensed this and gripped Sirius's wand arm.

"You're not allowed to use magic out of school," he hissed in his friend's ear.

Snape laughed harshly. "Afraid of breaking the rules, are you, Pettigrew?"

The colour rose in Peter's cheeks as he loosened his grip on Sirius's wand arm. "I don't see _you_ throwing any hexes, Snape."

Before Snape could say anything, a woman with the same pallid face called him over to the counter. Snape glared once more at the boys and reluctantly went to his mother. Once they were sure the pair had left the shop, the boys went to pay for their books. Back out on the cobblestone street, James and Sirius spoke viciously about how they would make Snape's life hell at school the coming year. Sirius suggested Dungbombs in Snape's morning pumpkin juice, as he had missed the opportunity to do so with Professor Crane.

"I still think that's disgusting," Remus said, stopping to adjust his crutches under his arms.

"So is Snape," Sirius said.

They continued on to Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions, as Peter's robes were getting a bit too short on the arms. They emerged ten minutes later, Peter clutching the parcel with his new robes, and headed to the Apothecary to stock up on potion supplies. Once out of the Apothecary, James insisted that they visit Quality Quidditch Supplies, as he intended to get a new broom. He would be trying out for the Gryffindor Quidditch team, which had two Chaser vacancies. He needed a decent broom. After what seemed like three hours, but was really only a half hour, James finally settled on a Silver Arrow and they were free to leave.

They reentered the Leaky Cauldron at four in the afternoon and found that the Potters, Lupins, and Pettigrews were sitting where they had been, talking merrily, chewing on biscuits and sipping their drinks. Sirius was pleased to see that his parents had not returned yet. He would be spared any awkward questions about why he had entered the pub with _those_ _wretched boys_. They resumed their seats and waited for their parents to notice them.

"So, then my editor tells me that the article – oh, you're back." Harry Lupin had been entertaining the group with some story about a problem down at the _Daily Prophet_ when he noticed the boys sitting at the table. "Got everything you needed?" The boys nodded, gesturing to the various parcels they had piled up on the tabletop. Harry and Anna stood up.

"How's your leg, Remus?" Anna asked concernedly.

"Hurts a bit," Remus replied honestly. He hadn't said anything while he and his friends were shopping, but it was acting up and he felt like going home to rest it up.

"We'll go, then. It was good to see you all again," he added to the adults. Anna and Remus waved and said their goodbyes before exiting the pub and entering the Muggle street.

When he was sure the Lupins had really gone, James turned to Sirius and Peter. "He's lying."

"Who is?" Sirius asked blankly, picking up a biscuit from the plate left on the table.

"Remus."

"Lying about what?" Peter asked, also taking a biscuit and breaking off a piece.

"He didn't trip over his dog."

"How do you know he didn't?"

"Because that's just so unlikely. He's had his dog for ages, he would know not to trip over it by now."

"What do _you_ think is wrong with him, then?" Sirius asked through a mouthful of biscuit pieces.

James shrugged. "I don't know, but I think there's more to his monthly disappearances than he's letting on. His mother _can't_ be sick all the time. You saw her just now, she doesn't look sick."

"Maybe it comes and goes," Peter suggested.

"No, there's nothing wrong with her. There's something wrong with Remus. Something happens to him and he won't tell us what it is."

"What are we going to do about it?"

James thought for a moment. It was clear that Remus did not want them to know what happened to him. If he did he would have told him about it the first time he ever left school. He couldn't think of what it might be, but he knew one thing. Whatever it was, it hurt him badly and he didn't like seeing his friends hurt. They would have to watch him closely when he got ready to leave to visit his allegedly sick mother. They would have to track his symptoms, make any connections they could that would help them discover the true reason to Remus's disappearances. Most importantly, they would have to do it secretly; he knew that Remus would not want them researching him.

"We're going to keep tabs on him," James said resolutely. "We're going to mark down every day he leaves and his behaviour on that day and the day he gets back because he always looks beat up. It is _not_ his dog that's hurting him like that. It has to be something bigger, something more dangerous."

"He can't know about it," Sirius pointed out unnecessarily. "He'd go mental, probably."

"We won't let him find out. We'll do it secretly."

"Just like he does," Peter said. "He's keeping a secret from us, so we'll keep one from him. Maybe when we figure this out, we won't have to keep anything from each other anymore."

James hoped Peter was right. He hoped that whatever they found out was not as bad as he was imagining. More than anything, he hoped that they could help their friend, possibly make whatever his secret was bearable. He hoped they could change it so it wouldn't hurt him anymore. They were friends; they had to look out for each other. If they didn't, could they really call themselves friends?


	14. Back to School

Chapter Fourteen  
Back to School

James sat alone in a compartment on the Hogwarts Express, waiting rather impatiently for his friends to appear. He had been brought early, so as to avoid the last minute goodbyes of the previous year. He assumed his friends must have been in the process of their rushed departing words to their parents, as it was ten to eleven. He slumped down in his seat, propping his feet up on the seat across from him. He had his trunk stowed away on the rack above him and he did not feel like getting it down to find something to occupy himself with. Besides, his friends must have been on their way if they didn't want to miss the train.

James's thoughts seemed to float out of his mind and through to the platform, as a moment later the compartment door slid open and a harassed looking Remus appeared in the doorway. James was pleased to see that his friend was walking on his own again, though his leg still seemed to be quite stiff and the scars on his face were still noticeable. He reminded himself that he had to get Sirius and Peter alone so they could discuss how they were going to go about their research. He already had one date – August twenty fourth. It was Peter's birthday and they had all been invited to his house, but Remus could not come. He claimed he had to stay home, yet again, with his sick mother. James strongly doubted that this was the true reason. Nevertheless, he cracked a smile and removed his feet from the other seat, nodding his head for Remus to take it. Remus dragged his trunk inside and placed it on the luggage rack above before sitting down.

"What happened to you?" James asked, eyeing Remus's appearance.

"Had to run," he explained, taking a moment to catch his breath and straighten his shirt. "So, how was the rest of your summer?"

"It was alright," James replied. "Nothing special. Got rid of those things, have you?"

Remus instantly knew what James meant. "Yeah, my dad took them back to the hospital last week. I wanted to burn them, but he wouldn't let me."

James chuckled. He couldn't exactly picture Remus trying to burn those strange Muggle contraptions, but it was a funny thought. He was silent, thinking about their plan. Maybe, if he just _asked_ Remus, maybe he would get a straight answer. It was worth a try at the very least.

"Listen, Remus-" But before James could ask the compartment door slid open and Sirius walked inside with someone they had not expected. Regulus Black seemed to be a smaller version of Sirius. They both had the same long black hair, grey eyes, and facial structure. They were both bearing the same disgruntled expressions. Neither of them looked very happy at the moment, and James and Remus knew why. Sirius obviously did not want to be in charge of his brother and Regulus did not want to be his brother's charge. Of course, there was no arguing with Walburga Black; the boys had no choice but to obey.

"Hullo," Sirius said, his voice lacking its usual cheerfulness. He sat down on the right of James, while Regulus took the opposite seat, moving as far away as possible from Remus, as though he was contaminated. He jerked his thumb at Regulus. "This is my brother, Regulus."

"Hullo," James and Remus said. Regulus said nothing; he didn't even look at them. James and Remus glanced at Sirius, who shook his head in an irritated fashion.

"Where's Peter?" Sirius asked, noticing that they were one person short and the train had just started to chug away.

"I'm here," said Peter's breathless voice at the entryway. He sat down on the vacant seat beside Sirius, catching his breath as he did so. "The train just started to leave," he panted. "Had to run."

"Peter, this is my brother, Regulus."

"Oh," Peter said, just having spotted the other Black. "Hullo." Once again, Regulus did not acknowledge the greeting.

"Anyway," Remus said, getting the attention off Sirius's brother, as he clearly didn't want any. "How was your birthday, Peter?"

"It was fun, but I wish you'd have come."

Remus frowned apologetically. "I'm sorry, but my mum-"

"We know, Remus," James intervened, though with a hard edge to his voice, like he was annoyed. Remus stared at James, confused, but said nothing else. He contented himself with looking out the window as the train approached the rolling, green hills of the countryside. Sirius and Peter gave James looks that said he was being a little harsh, but James simply shrugged. An awkward silence settled in the compartment, which was broken by Sirius pulling out a deck of cards and offering a game of Exploding Snap. To their mild shock, Remus did not join in, but Regulus readily held out his hand for some cards.

"We may stand a chance of winning now," Peter said, grinning good-naturedly at Remus, who returned with a halfhearted smile.

The game certainly got competitive. James, Sirius and Peter usually knew the game was a lost cause when they were competing against Remus, but now that he wasn't playing the four boys were even more vicious, fighting for victory. Regulus didn't seem to want his brother to win, but didn't mind if James or Peter did, so his participation did not benefit Sirius. Sirius, who foresaw his brother's motive, tried his hardest to thwart Regulus's victory. The winner turned out to be James, who laughed victoriously, and rudely, at the others' ash covered faces. Sirius snatched his cards back and stowed them away in his pocket, muttering that he was going to find a game he could definitely beat them all at.

The lunch trolley rolled around midday and the boys stocked up on their favourite sweets. James, who was not being too careful with the Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans, discovered a vomit flavoured one and accidentally spat it onto Regulus's shoes. Regulus shot James a disgusted look and stood up. He marched over to the compartment door and hissed at Sirius that he was going to go find Narcissa. Sirius shrugged indifferently; in fact, he looked grateful that his brother was leaving.

Once Regulus was gone, James turned to his friend. "Not very chatty, your brother," he observed.

"He's bitter," Sirius replied through a mouthful of Chocolate Frog. "Mum made him come around with me, but warned me that I _couldn't come sit with you lot_. I lied, of course. But Mummy's little prince, Regulus, will probably send her an owl telling her the first chance he gets." He ripped the top of a Chocolate Frog box and checked the card inside. "Bertie Botts," he mumbled. "Got him already. Want him Remus?"

Remus broke his gaze away from the window. "Hmm? Oh, yeah, sure." He took the card and pocketed it.

James jumped up suddenly. "Can I talk to you, Remus? Outside?"

Remus stood up, resignedly, and followed his friend into the empty corridor. James slid the door shut behind them and faced his friend. "Look, I'm sorry I snapped at you like that."

"I know you are," Remus said. He didn't sound mad at all, and James had expected him to.

"Oh… well, you're not mad at me, are you?"

"No, I wasn't mad."

James sighed in relief. "Okay, then. Let's go back inside."

"You go on; I have to just go to the bathroom for a minute."

Remus spun around and took off for the back of the train where the lavatories were located. Remus had not been lying when he told James that he wasn't mad at him. James's harshness had set him thinking, actually. Would it be so bad if he told his friends he was a werewolf? They had already proven themselves to be loyal beyond all measures, perhaps they weren't prejudice. Then again, every time someone found out they didn't exactly understand. He had long abandoned counting how many friends he had lost because they had been taught to hate werewolves. The only solution his parents could find for the problem was to move away to the country, where they were less likely to run into any wizards.

He remembered what his grandfather had told him – he had said Remus wasn't a monster. Sometimes he found he could agree, but other times – many times – he couldn't. Werewolves were classified by the Ministry of Magic as dangerous, who was he to argue against that? His father always said the people at the Ministry didn't know what they were talking about, that they could be just as bad as pureblood enthusiasts sometimes. Remus, however, oftentimes felt inclined to concede with their views. What he did to himself was bad enough; he couldn't stand to think of what he might do to an innocent bystander.

He emerged from the lavatory five minutes later and was met with a head of fiery red hair. Lily Evans was one of his fellow Gryffindor second years. She had helped them greatly in their plight against Professor Crane, as she was probably one of the most eager to see him go. He hadn't spoken to her, nor written her a letter, the entire summer and he wondered how she was doing.

"Lily," he called, catching her attention.

She whirled around and her face split into a warm smile when she saw who it was. "Hullo, Remus!" She moved forward down the corridor. "How are you?" she asked when she reached him.

"Fine," he said. "How was your summer?"

"Oh, it was alright. My mum and dad took my sister, Petunia, and I to Switzerland for a few weeks."

"Really? How was it there?"

"It was beautiful, and it would have been better if my sister hadn't been there."

Remus had heard Lily discussing her sister with Alice Gordon. From the little he had heard it was plain that she and her sister did not get along. Petunia Evans thought her sister was a freak for being a witch. Hearing about his friends' problems with their siblings sometimes made him grateful he was an only child.

Lily seemed to read his mind. "You're lucky you're an only child."

Remus chuckled lightly. "I seem like more than one sometimes."

"I doubt you'd ever be as bad as Petunia, not even Potter could be." At the very end of their first year Lily had taken to calling James "Potter." His ill-hidden love of the accolades after their prank had gotten so irritating to her that she severed all forms of communication with him. Lily began fishing for something in the pocket of her skirt. When she found it, she pulled it out and handed it to Remus. It was a colourfully wrapped piece of chocolate. "They have the best chocolate in Switzerland," she explained, pulling out a piece for herself.

"Thanks," Remus said appreciatively.

"No problem. Well, I'd better get back to my compartment. See you at the feast."

"Yeah, see you there."

Remus trailed along the corridor until he found his compartment. When he reentered he heard James and Sirius in a heated discussion about why Dumbledore had planted the Whomping Willow on the grounds. He pretended to be uninterested in the conversation, though red tinged his cheeks. Instead, he loudly opened the chocolate Lily had given him, trying to block out what his friends were saying.

"Maybe there's something really dangerous under it," James was construing.

"Like what?" Sirius asked doubtfully.

"I dunno… some really dangerous creature of Hagrid's."

"Why would Dumbledore let Hagrid keep it then, if he knew it was dangerous?" Peter wondered.

"That's why they have the Whomping Willow there, of course!" James said, making it sound as if it were the most obvious answer in the world.

"Dumbledore's always been a bit mental, maybe he just liked the tree," Sirius said, scuffing his shoe on the bottom of the chair across him.

"What about-" James began but he was abruptly cut off.

"What about just dropping it?" Remus asked, exasperated. "What does it matter why it's there?"

James raised his eyebrows at Sirius and Peter, signaling that they could take this as another bit of their research. They dropped the subject, knowing it would do nothing more than further infuriate Remus and they did not feel like getting on his bad side so early in the year. James reminded himself to make note of this one fact – Remus did not like talking about the Whomping Willow. It may have meant nothing to others, but to them it meant figuring out where their friend went every month, and why he always came back hurt.

* * *

"Now that everyone is Sorted, I have nothing to say except 'tuck in.'" The students cheered enthusiastically as the golden platters before them filled with food at Headmaster Dumbledore's words. The Sorting Ceremony had just concluded and Sirius was in the process of sulking because Regulus had become a Slytherin. James made it a point to mention that this wasn't an unusual occurrence in the Black Family, but Sirius had thought there may have been a tiny glint of hope for his brother. He was at least a little more tolerable than the others, though Sirius had to admit that Regulus's opinions were easily swayed. James was right; it shouldn't have come as a shock.

Instead of brooding on it, Sirius settled himself with eating as much of his favourite foods as possible. By the time he was finished loading up his plate it was stacked about two feet high and looked mildly repulsive.

"We all know how Sirius drowns his sorrows, now," James said to Remus and Peter, who were watching Sirius eat with revolted expressions. "He eats like a pig."

"Do nob," Sirius argued through a mouthful of mashed potatoes.

"Yes, you do."

Sirius swallowed with great difficulty and huffed at his friend. He looked over Peter's shoulder at the Slytherin table and saw, with some disappointment, that Regulus was already making Slytherin friends. He was talking to a first year boy with sleek brown hair and, to Sirius's horror, Severus Snape. He thought he might have been able to get over the fact that his brother had been Sorted into the house that turned out the most Dark witches and wizards, but now he knew that he couldn't, especially since Regulus was consorting with slime like Snape.

"Just forget it, Sirius," Remus said, looking over his own shoulder to see what his friend was gaping at.

"What would you do if your brother was about to become friends with _that_?"

"Not stare at him? Sirius, you're always saying you don't like your family, so why is this bothering you so much?"

"I thought there was hope for him!"

"Clearly there isn't," Peter said into his dish of chicken.

"Can it, Pettigrew."

They passed most of their dinner in silence, breaking the lull once in a while to ask someone to pass a dish of food. Other than that, they didn't speak at all. James, Remus, and Peter did not want to get Sirius more upset about his brother's new home more than he already was. James couldn't help but see things Remus's way, though he understood where Sirius was coming. Sirius had never cared at all about the goings-on in his family, so why did this bother him so much? Maybe it was because he thought he had set some sort of standard when he became a Gryffindor and hoped for Regulus to follow it? That didn't seem to be the case; he must have just wanted Regulus to be in a house where he wasn't almost guaranteed to become a Dark wizard.

As the platters of pudding were emptied and the scraps vanished, Professor Dumbledore stood up to make his traditional announcements. "Now that we are all happily full I should like to make some announcements. All students are reminded that the forest on the edge of the grounds is strictly off limits, as is approaching the Whomping Willow." Some of the meaner students snickered at this, remembering the incident the previous year in which a student was knocked unconscious by the tree. Dumbledore waved his hand for silence once more. "Any student wishing to play for their house's Quidditch team should contact Madam Sparks, tryouts will be in due time. Mr. Filch would also like to remind students that dueling is forbidden in corridors between classes." He gestured to his right at a man with bushy black hair and a kind smile. "I would like to welcome our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher – Professor Jones." There was a scattered round of unenthusiastic applause. The students knew not to get their hopes about any of the teachers in that subject, especially after the horrific year with Professor Crane. "Now I think it is time you went to your dormitories. Good night, everyone."

The benches scraped against the floor as the students poured into the aisles between the tables and followed their respective prefects to the common rooms. The boys hung back, letting the first years get directly behind the prefect who was currently shouting for them to follow him. They kept their pace slow for Sirius's sake, Regulus was not very far ahead of them and they knew Sirius did not want to encounter his brother so closely after his Sorting. After a group of Gryffindor fourth years fell in front of them, the four boys began their trek to Gryffindor Tower.

It was a relief to be back in the castle. They had all missed the constantly moving portraits and the staircases that could never decide on which landing to stay. They almost missed Peeves the Poltergeist, but soon realised they didn't after he dropped a trash bin over Peter's head. Just as Peeves was floating away, cackling madly, the new teacher, Professor Jones, appeared and vanished the garbage off his student's head. Peter thanked the man, who nodded politely and went off to find his quarters. The boys continued on their way until they were met with the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Canis Lupus," they heard the prefect say. The portrait swung open, revealing the entrance into the common room. Being that the following day was a Saturday, some of the older students hung around in the common room, catching up with their friends. The boys saw Frank, Lily and Alice sitting by the fire, chatting excitedly about their summers. They waved to the group and the boys went up to the dormitory to put their belongings away. The dormitory they had shared the previous year was now adorned with a sign on the door that read: SECOND YEARS. Once inside, they saw that it looked exactly the same as it had and that their trunks were waiting patiently for them on their beds.

When they had everything put away and, in the case of James's and Sirius's, hung up numerous posters, the boys settled themselves to discuss what they had done for the remainder of the summer. As Peter was telling them about his trip to the Ministry of Magic with his father, who worked in the Department of International Magical Cooperation, Remus excused himself to the bathroom. When the door was fully shut, James leaned forward conspiratorially.

"So, what are we going to do?" he whispered, glancing over at the bathroom door.

"About what?" Sirius asked blankly, picking at a loose thread on his bedspread.

"About Remus. Don't tell me you've forgotten already."

"Of course I haven't. But, mate, we just got back to school, we can't have that much to go by."

"We have two things, actually," James said, getting up and stooping down beside his trunk. He pulled out a blank notebook and his writing utensils. He began writing in the book. "We have the fact that he really has something against the Whomping Willow-"

"Which isn't that strange," Sirius interjected.

"-and that he couldn't come to Peter's birthday party on August 24th," James finished, as though he hadn't been interrupted.

"So?"

"_So_, that may not be much, but it's something."

"What's something?"

The three boys looked up and saw Remus's head poking out from the bathroom, he was watching them curiously.

"Nothing, Remus," James said unconvincingly, hastily sitting on his notebook. He, Sirius and Peter all smiled at their friend, trying poorly to mask their guilt.

Remus was quiet, observing them and thinking of all the possible reasons that they could be whispering and then stop the moment he came in. He shrugged and went back into the bathroom.

James pulled the notebook out again once he was sure Remus wouldn't be emerging for another few minutes. "Anyway, that's better than having nothing to go by."

"Yeah but, James, there's nothing special about this information," Peter said, taking the book out of James's hands and looking at what he had written. "I mean, a lot of people hate the Whomping Willow, especially that Ravenclaw from last year. And maybe his mother really _was_ sick on my birthday."

"I've said it before, you've seen his mother! She can't be sick _all_ the time."

"And _I've_ said it before, maybe it comes and goes. Maybe you're making more out of this than you should be."

"You know, you seemed all for this back at the Leaky Cauldron."

"Then I got to thinking that maybe Remus wouldn't want us researching him like this. Maybe his mother is sick and maybe he just doesn't like talking about it."

"We're supposed to be his friends," Sirius said, speaking for the first time in a while. "If his mother really was sick, he'd at least tell us what was wrong with her. He knows we wouldn't badger him about it or anything. James is right, Pete. You're right about Remus not wanting us to research him, but I think we have to." He took the book from Peter and the quill from James and began writing. "He always looks sick. When he comes back from visiting his mother he looks like he fell off a cliff. His parents wouldn't do that to him, they love him too much. And if his mother could do that while she was sick, they wouldn't be bringing him home every month. James is right. There's something else going on and we have to find out what it is. We're all friends, remember? If something's hurting one of us, the rest of us have to figure out what it is."


	15. Research, Bad Potions and Tryouts

Chapter Fifteen  
Research, Bad Potions, and Tryouts

School didn't officially start for two days, as they returned to the castle on a Friday. The boys spent a good majority of the weekend lazing out on the grounds, enjoying the sunlight before they were confined to the walls of the castle doing their schoolwork. The weather seemed to also be enjoying the free time; the skies had never been a clearer blue. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter lounged around under a beech tree by the lake, skipping stones, watching the Giant Squid as it propelled itself around the water, and talking about their plans for the coming year. They were joined occasionally by Frank Longbottom, who could not help but tell them every detail about his summer in Amsterdam with his parents.

However, when the topic veered too closely to their research of Remus, the three boys would grow silent and pretend that they did not see the curious looks Remus was giving them. James would laugh awkwardly and change the subject to something as random as the grass growing or how fast they could skip stones in the lake. Sirius and Peter would grasp the subject with a strange fondness, an action that only increased Remus's interest. On Sunday, in particular, James, Sirius and Peter disappeared for the entire day. They weren't in any of their usual spots – the common room, the dormitory, or out on the grounds. Remus strongly doubted that they would be in the library (which was actually where they were) – they did their best to avoid that room. He tried occupying his time with his camera, taking pictures out on the grounds. It was only around dinner when his friends reappeared and they pointblank refused to tell him where they had been.

Monday dawned and the boys found themselves sitting, once again, in the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom during first period. They had all defiantly sat in the back, as they had been denied this the previous year, and waited with slight apprehension for the teacher. They couldn't help but wonder if Professor Jones was anything like Professor Crane. They knew that he didn't share the mean sneer that Crane constantly wore. This was an upside. Unlike last year, they were joined by the Ravenclaws, who were also looking nervous about their new professor.

Professor Jones entered the room and smiled at his class. They knew at that moment they were not dealing with the same type of man. Jones had the decency to at least smile at his charges; they had never seen the corners of Professor Crane's mouth turn up. They believed him incapable of doing so. He laid his briefcase on the desk and unhinged it. He shifted through his papers and came out with a scroll.

"Role call, then, shall we?" he asked in a light, airy voice, his eyes surveying the students. "Anderson, Susan. Black, Sirius. Chang, Simon. Evans, Lily. Fort, Emily. Gordon, Alice. James, Sally. Longbottom, Frank. Lovegood, Xenophilius. Lupin, Remus. Patil, Jensen. Pettigrew, Peter. Porter, Mary. Potter, James." Jones rolled up the scroll when he saw that the entire class was present and stuffed it back into his case. He stowed his briefcase under his desk and turned to the class. "I am Professor Jones; I will be your new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher." He sat down on his desk and cracked his knuckles loudly. "I was told that you did not have a pleasant experience with your previous teacher." The class nodded vehemently. "I hope to change that."

They spent an enjoyable period learning about creatures known as Cornish Pixies. They could be described as blue, loud, and squeaky. The boys found them amusing, though rather pointless, while the girls found them adorable. Professor Jones saw this and readily agreed with the boys, claiming that they were only doing this since it was the first day back. They would advance to something more difficult in the coming lessons. The boys did have fun prodding the pixies with their wands, only to have them squeak angrily at them. When the bell rang, the class left talking gleefully about their new teacher and how they wouldn't have to drive him away.

"Remus Lupin, come here for a moment, please," Professor Jones said as the four boys got prepared to head on to Charms. "Tell Professor Flitwick he will be late, please, boys?" he added to James, Sirius and Peter. They nodded, sending Remus questioning glances, and exited the room.

"Yes, Professor?" Remus asked when he approached the desk. He didn't have the slightest idea as to why the professor needed to speak to him.

"I have it from Professor Dumbledore that Professor Crane was rather prejudiced against you," Jones said, peering into Remus's anxious and pale face.

"Just a little," Remus lied, shifting from one foot to the other.

"I heard that he had you doing a detention on the day of a full moon."

"I left in time."

"That doesn't excuse the man's behaviour. I just wanted to let you know that you do not have to worry about such actions from me. I will not hold what you are against you."

Just from the way Professor Jones said it, Remus knew that he meant it. Jones wasn't going to take advantage of what Remus was and use it to his misfortune the way Crane had. He didn't know much about this teacher, but just hearing this claim made him think that Professor Jones would be one of their better teachers. "Thank you, Professor."

* * *

"Everyone step back from your cauldrons."

The Gryffindor second years were currently in their final class of the day – Potions with the Slytherins. They had been busy for the past hour concocting a Swelling Solution for Professor Slughorn. Just as he had done the year before, he offered a prize for the creator of the best potion – a box of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum. This time around, though, he did not have them working in pairs, which put some students at a disadvantage. Alice Gordon was not the best potions maker, unless she had Lily at her side. Her potion had turned a murky grey colour and was issuing nauseating fumes that were causing the students right next to her, and herself, to gag. Abrac Zabini's potion had turned completely solid and he was furiously trying to crack the surface with his wand.

Professor Slughorn was peering into Lily's cauldron; he gave her a beaming smile and whispered something that was probably an overwhelming accolade. He did the same after passing James and Sirius. He gave Peter's potion an approving nod as he looked it over. When he reached Remus's potion, disaster struck. The moment his nose came fully over the cauldron top, the potion exploded. Remus gaped in horror as his potion did the exact opposite of what it was supposed to do. Slughorn's nose did not swell to an unnatural size; rather it began to shrink until it was the size of a button. James and Sirius had ducked out of the way in time, sensing the danger. Remus was by far the worst potion brewer in the class; his potions never had the desired effects unless he was working with someone else.

Peter and Remus were not as lucky and were splashed with the defective potion. Peter's arm suddenly barely reached past his chest, and Remus's fingers were only a centimetre long. Several of the Slytherins, even the ones who had produced less than standard potions, were laughing cruelly.

"Quiet," Slughorn snapped. He rubbed his large hand over the space where his nose had once been full grown and sighed. He flourished his wand and the area where the potion had splashed was cleared. "Come here, boys." He led Remus and Peter to the head of the classroom and began fishing through the shelves of potions.

"What an idiot," Snape laughed. Snape was one of Slughorn's favourite student and more than often he made the potions using methods different from those that the book instructed. Of course he would laugh at anyone whose potion blew up.

"Shut up, Snape," James snarled.

Snape turned around, sneering at James, but otherwise he said nothing. Once the bell rang James and Sirius hung around at the back of the room for Remus and Peter, who were still up at the front of the room. Slughorn appeared to be having a conversation with Remus, and it was one that Remus clearly disliked. He was fervently shaking his head and, from reading his lips, James and Sirius could see that he was telling Slughorn "no" many times. When Slughorn realised his plight was worthless, he released the two boys.

"I'm so sorry, Peter," Remus said as they joined James and Sirius. Remus was rubbing the palm of his hands over his fingers, making sure they were still there.

"Its fine," Peter said, rubbing his previously shrunken arm.

"What was Slughorn talking to you about, Remus?" Sirius asked, readjusting the strap on his bag.

Remus grimaced. "He wanted _Snape_ to tutor me."

James and Sirius gasped in horror. "Bloody hell _no_," they blurted out.

"I know," Remus agreed, shuddering at the thought. "I think I managed to talk him out of it." He glanced over his shoulder back at the classroom. "If I needed anyone to tutor me, I'd ask one of you three. You're just as good as Snape is. Or maybe even Lily would help me."

"I doubt Evans would," James muttered.

"She doesn't hate _me_, James."

"I don't even understand why she hates me in the first place."

The others thought it best not to answer that question. Lily's true thoughts about James were rather cruel, and they didn't want to expose him to them. They headed up to Gryffindor Tower to deposit their belongings in the dormitory before heading down to the Great Hall for dinner. As they were walking through the Entrance Hall after coming back downstairs, Sirius brought up Professor Jones.

"He seems pretty cool."

"Better than Crane," Peter said.

"That's not exactly hard to do."

They entered the Great Hall and took their usual seats at the Gryffindor table. The golden platters were filled with dinner and the boys, terribly hungry, loaded up their dishes.

"When do Quidditch tryouts start?" James asked as he stabbed a potato onto his fork.

Sirius shrugged. "How should I know?"

"Check the notice board in the common room," Remus suggested, taking a swig of pumpkin juice.

"Yeah, I'll do that later."

James was eager to get onto the Gryffindor team. The team had not won a championship in three years, an occurrence that was often called pathetic by every house in the school, including the Gryffindors. It wasn't as though the team was bad; it was just that there were one or two weak links. The good news was that the weak links had graduated and two Chaser positions had opened up. James always played Chaser whenever he scrimmaged at home, though he was often found to be playing with the Golden Snitch. He loved goal scoring more than he did Seeking.

When dinner concluded the boys trooped up to Gryffindor Tower. The moment they stepped through the portrait hole James made a beeline for the notice board. He saw, with immense satisfaction, that the tryouts were to be held that Friday. He therefore decided to skive off his homework and head down to the Quidditch Pitch and practise. Sirius, Remus and Peter did not object to his decision, as they had been given a very small amount of work. James dashed up to the dormitory to retrieve his Silver Arrow and left for the pitch, not returning until late that night. He wanted that place and he was determined get it.

* * *

Friday rolled around all too quickly for James's liking. He was confident that he might make the team, but he had spent the majority of his free time observing the competition and he knew that some were better than him. Then again, there were a fair number who were dreadful. He had gone out every night to practise on his own, using the Quaffle with the permission of Madam Sparks. Of course he didn't have a Chaser up there with him. He thought once or twice about asking his friends to help him. Sirius came with him once, mumbling about how he disliked playing Quidditch when he had better things to do. Peter and Remus, who tried numerous times to skive off their flying lessons in first year, pointblank refused to play Keeper for James. They didn't fancy falling off their brooms.

All through their lessons on Friday James could be found staring distractedly out the window, even in the rooms that did not face the Quidditch Pitch. In Transfiguration, his favourite class, Professor McGonagall began to reprimand him for not completing the task at hand – transfiguring an animal into a water goblet – before Sirius pointed out that he was nervous about the tryouts. Professor McGonagall was probably the only faculty member who could compete with the students for the title of Most Obsessed Over Quidditch. She therefore did not deduct any points from Gryffindor and actually gave James a few helpful tips.

The weather was perfect: The sky was a clear blue, there were little to no clouds, and the wind was minimal, which was nowhere near enough to cause any disruptions in anyone's flying. James skipped dinner, fearing that food would not remain in his stomach, and headed down to the pitch to get one more practise session in. When he arrived he saw that he was not the only one who had this idea. The sky was filled with at least a dozen students, whipping about in the air. He was pleased to see that four of the twelve were first years and had no prayer whatsoever. The other eight competitors seemed to have more than a decent handle on flying and could handle a Quaffle quite well. Deciding that the air was too full for him to practise, he took a seat in the stands.

After a half hour the Gryffindor team appeared, wearing their scarlet robes and grasping their broomsticks. The captain, sixth year Cory Hamilton, was standing in the lead, clipboard in one hand and whistle in the other. He blew the whistle and waved his arm wildly for the students to land. James dashed over to join them, dragging his Silver Arrow along with him. Hamilton placed them into two groups – one of the lowerclassmen and one of the upperclassmen. The upperclassmen group, which consisted of six students, went first and James concluded that the only real competition was Jamie Kirkland. Compared to her, the others looked absolutely frightful.

Hamilton sent the first group to the stands to wait for the final decision, while he sent out the second group. The moment James saw who he was up against he knew he had the spot. The lowerclassmen group consisted of seven students from first to fourth years. Four of the seven students were first years and barely knew how to fly, let alone hold their brooms the correct way. The remaining three included himself, third year Becky Frasier, and fourth year John Hollander. Frasier was a good player, though she unintentionally sent the Quaffle whizzing at Chaser Lawrence Biggs's head. Biggs didn't duck in time and, as a result, was carted off to the Hospital wing by the two Beaters, Gina Reynolds and Anthony Mitchell. James could see Hamilton clicking his tongue and shaking his head as he scribbled on his clipboard. Hollander was also a skilled player and could have possibly beaten James out, but he was more committed to his other activities. He would rather go to a meeting of the Gobstones Club than play Quidditch. This announcement did not bode well with Hamilton.

Because Biggs had been sent to the Hospital Wing, Hamilton, who really played Seeker, announced Jamie Kirkland as one of the new Chasers, and she joined him so James could have his tryout. Hamilton tossed him the Quaffle and James weaved his way around the pitch until he reached the goalposts and feigned throwing the ball through the left goalpost, causing the Keeper, Oliver Pulliman, to dive that way so the middle hoop was clear for James to score. James worked well with the two and Hamilton noticed this. As James was returning to the ground after his tryout, Hamilton flew past him, winked and nodded his approval.

The older students who knew that they had been denied the second Chaser position left the pitch in a mutinous huff, while the rest gathered around Hamilton. Hamilton consulted his clipboard only briefly before tucking it under his arm and looking at the group.

"Well, you all already know that Jamie has gotten the first spot," he said, gesturing to a beaming Jamie. The crowd clapped, somewhat unenthusiastically. "Now, listen, if you didn't make it this time, try out again next time there's an opening. Maybe Chasing isn't your thing. The second spot goes to James Potter."

The first years left in the same angry way as the first group, while Hollander and Frasier stuck around long enough to clap James on the back and congratulate him. They had to stay at the pitch a little while longer so Hamilton could give them the practise schedules he had drawn up and to try on their robes. When the team dispensed back to the castle, James was joined by Remus.

"Brilliant, James," he said cheerfully.

"Thanks mate," James said, grinning broadly. "Hey, where are Sirius and Peter?" He had just noticed they were two people short.

"Discussing detention with McGonagall."

"What happened?"

"Sirius hexed Snape for no reason."

"So why did Peter get detention too?"

"I think Snape thought Peter was going to get him too… I dunno, really, I wasn't there."

"Where were you?"

"Hospital Wing. Stepped on my bad leg kind of funny and had to get something to get it to stop hurting."

James said nothing to this. He had wondered if his friend's leg had really fully healed. It didn't seem to be bothering him at the present, he was walking fine. He searched around for something else to talk about. "Did you see all the tryouts?"

Remus shook his head. "I got down here after that kid said he couldn't miss Gobstones or something."

"Oh, Hollander. Yeah, he wouldn't miss that for Quidditch."

They walked back up to the castle talking excitedly about James making the team and how the team actually stood a chance of winning this time. They entered the giant double doors into the Entrance Hall only to see several professors standing in a crowd. At first, the boys thought something bad had happened, but it ended up just being Peeves letting down a chandelier. They could see the tip of Filch's broomstick sticking out amongst the sea of hats belonging to the teachers. James and Remus smirked at each other – Filch had a vendetta against Peeves the Poltergeist.

The common room was full and very rowdy, owing to the selection of the new Quidditch team members. James received several congratulations; Lily Evans even made her way over to tell him he deserved it. Remus side glanced at James and saw a strange, dreamy look had spread across his face. Remus laughed to himself and pushed James in the direction of Sirius and Peter, who were both sitting, highly disgruntled, by the window. When they sat down, Sirius and Peter sat up straight and tried to smile genuinely for their friend.

"You got a detention while I was gone?" James asked in a voice suggesting that he was their father.

"It's all Sirius's fault," Peter muttered, jabbing a finger into Sirius's shoulder.

"I didn't do anything!" Sirius snapped defensively.

"Snape grew those tentacles on his own, did he?"

"I think it was an improvement." Sirius dug under his seat and pulled out a photo. "I even got a picture."

"You stole my camera," Remus said at once.

"Well, it was just _lying_ there on your bed."

"Thief."

James ripped the photo from Sirius's hand and observed it. There were tentacles swarming out of Snape's ear holes and nostrils. For a photo that Sirius must have taken very quickly, he certainly captured his handiwork. He was right, it _was_ an improvement. He handed the photo to Remus, who could barely contain the laugh that was threatening to come out. He gave the picture back to Sirius.

"I forgive you for stealing my camera," he said. "But I'm locking it up from now on."

"I'll just _un_lock it."

"I won't tell you where it is." He stood up and ran off to the dormitory to do just that.

"Anyway," Sirius went on, tucking the photo back in his pocket. "Nice one, mate. I knew you'd make it."

"Yeah, good work, James," Peter said, nodding fervently.

"Thanks guys." He pulled distractedly on the sleeve of his Quidditch robes. "So, how'd you catch Snape?"

"We were walking by McGonagall's classroom, which probably wasn't the best place to do it. But we were on our way back from helping Remus to the Hospital Wing, and Snape was there and… well, you saw the result," Sirius explained.

"How'd he hurt his leg?"

"Blame Sirius," Peter said, throwing Sirius a reproachful look. "Remus was walking too slowly for Sirius and he shoved him to move faster. He stepped on his bad leg too hard and hurt it."

"Remus didn't say that."

"Good man, covered up for me," Sirius said smugly.

"You know, I just thought of another time he had to go visit his mother," James said unexpectedly. "Remember last year when Crane gave us our first detention? It was on September fifth. Remus was panicking the second Crane said the date."

"I didn't think of that," Sirius said, taking in the information. "You can go add it to that book of yours."

"He left sometime around Halloween too," Peter piped up. "A day or two after it, I think."

"And he couldn't come to my house the week of the twenty third. He said it was a bad week for him."

"Well, it _was_."

"But how could he have known that was going to happen?"

"What are you talking about?"

James, Sirius and Peter jumped in their spots and saw that Remus had returned. He was regarding them with a suspicious look, like he knew they were talking about him. Remus knew that every time people abruptly stopped talking when he walked into the room meant that they were talking about him. His friends had been doing this quite a lot recently and he didn't like it.

"Nothing," they said feebly.

"You always seem to be talking about something important and stop the second I come in."

"It's nothing, Remus," James said in what he hoped was a believable voice. "Honestly."

Remus didn't question them any further; he only sat down and listened as James described the tryouts in full detail to Sirius and Peter. They were up to something and they weren't letting him in on it. Their hasty endings to conversations and their strange absence over the weekend were making him feel uncomfortable. And he didn't like it.


	16. Discoveries

Chapter Sixteen  
Discoveries

Remus knew not to believe James when he said that they weren't talking about anything significant. He also knew that it concerned him, and he had a suspicion as to what it might be. As September began to round off and the full moon drew nearer he spent a good amount of his time in the dormitory, resting his head. The previous year his friends would have come upstairs and try to persuade him to come and join them in whatever they were doing. This year, however, they came up only once and when he said he wasn't feeling well they pressed the matter no further. In fact, he could see their interest peak when he said this, but they never asked why he wasn't feeling well. This behaviour was so unlike them. He knew they were bound to wonder where he went every month, but just because he knew that, didn't mean he would be ready when the time came.

Saturday, September twenty third, dawned late and groggily. The four boys had worked late into the night for their detention with Professor Grines. They had been caught hexing Snape and one of his fellow Slytherins while their backs were turned and, as Grines was the professor who caught them, she was the one handling their detention. They had been refilling the Mandrake pots with the appropriate fertilizers, and these fertilizers just happened to be the ones that smelled the worse. They had thought the task wouldn't be too difficult; the Mandrakes would be sleeping. They thought wrong. The Mandrakes didn't take well to the movement of their pots as the boys refilled them and put up a strong fight. One Mandrake almost succeeded in lifting itself out of its pot and latching itself onto Peter's nose. It took the combined efforts of James, Sirius and Remus to calm the Mandrake down, while Peter stayed as far away as possible from the plant.

Three of the four boys awoke at eleven, infinitely grateful that it was a Saturday and they had no classes to slug through. James had Quidditch practise to look forward to and his friends were supposed to come and watch. The first Quidditch match of the season wasn't until November, but Cory Hamilton wanted to get in all the practise time they could, as they would be playing Slytherin. The practise didn't start until one, so they had time to get lunch and laze around before James had to head off to the pitch.

"I can't believe that detention last night," Sirius muttered miserably as he tucked his blankets under his mattress.

"At least _your_ Mandrake didn't try to kill you," Peter said sleepily, searching for clothes in his trunk.

"It didn't try to kill you, it just wanted your nose," James pointed out, sitting on his bed and running his hand fondly along the handle of his broomstick. "Hey, Sirius, wake him up, will you?" James nodded towards Remus's bed, where Remus was still fast asleep. This didn't surprise them in the least; Remus had been dropping with exhaustion the night before and hadn't even bothered to change when he reached his bed.

Sirius moved over to his friend's bed and shook him gently on the shoulder. "Wake up, mate." Remus did not wake up; he only turned on his stomach and slept on. "Remus, get up." Once again, Sirius's efforts proved fruitless. "I found your bloody camera."

"Shut up, Sirius," Remus mumbled, his eyes flickering open.

Sirius grinned mischievously. "You're too predictable." With his task complete, Sirius went back to making his bed.

Remus sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Little after eleven," James replied, setting his broom down on his bed and looking around for his trainers. "Do you feel alright?" Upon closer inspection, James could see that his friend's face was deadly pale and it was causing him great effort to stay awake.

"Fine," Remus said in a false cheerful voice. "Just tired." He shakily stood up and walked around, stretching his limbs. Then he said just what James predicted he would. "Err… I have to go visit my mum again later."

"Do you?" James said in the most interested voice he could muster. He had slid down to the floor beside his bed and was rummaging through his trunk, trying to locate his notebook.

"Yeah… my dad wrote me yesterday."

"Is she sick again?" Peter asked, using the same voice as James. He hadn't thought much of James's plan at first, but now he thought his friend was right. Why would Remus, who looked as though he needed a trip to the Hospital Wing himself, be going home?

"That's what my dad said," Remus responded, sitting down at the foot of his bed and running a hand over his tired face.

"That's too bad," James said, finally seeing his notebook under three pairs of his robes. He inconspicuously took it out and began writing the date and Remus's symptoms down. "Well, I should get dressed, Quidditch practise in a bit." He grabbed his clothes out of his trunk and yanked the hangings around his bed.

"Are you going to come down with us?" Sirius asked Remus as he straightened out his pillow.

"Yeah, of course."

"Well then get up and get dressed. You know James is going to drag us down there an hour early."

"I heard that," came James's voice from behind the curtains.

Once the boys were fully clothed and had their lunch, they headed out to the Quidditch Pitch. Jamie Kirkland apparently had the same idea as James: To head down to the pitch early. He and his fellow Chaser immediately took off to the changing rooms to get into their robes and were soon off into the air and practising their flying. Sirius, Remus and Peter didn't really see why James had to work on his flying; there was nothing to improve. He had the perfect handle of his broomstick; he could swerve and duck as easily as he could walk. The rest of the team appeared a little while later, brooms in hands and ready to begin their training session.

After fifteen minutes of training it became clear that Gryffindor had the best team it had seen in years. Now that they had two Chasers who weren't Quaffle hogs, the Chasers were able to work as a unit, duping the Keeper in order to score. The Beaters never missed an opportunity to whack a Bludger out of the way of their Chasers and Seeker. When the Keeper wasn't tricked by his own teammates (which was a rare chance), he was making spectacular saves. The Seeker never missed the Snitch. They played three scrimmage matches, using Biggs as an opposing Seeker, and Hamilton caught the Snitch two out of the three times. The only reason his missed the third time was because he sneezed at the wrong moment.

As the practise session was concluding, Remus stood up abruptly. He had been fine for the entire hour and a half that the team was training, but now he felt like something very large was pressing itself against his forehead and an iron hand was clamping itself around his insides. He had to get up to the Hospital Wing, or to a bathroom, anywhere that was not where he currently was. Sirius and Peter whipped their heads around, shocked by their friend's sudden movement.

"What happened?" Sirius asked, bewildered.

"Nothing," Remus said in an unconvincing voice. He didn't know why he felt that he had to lie; both Sirius and Peter knew something was wrong.

"You're going to be sick, aren't you?" Peter said knowingly. Without answering Peter's query, Remus sped out of the stands and towards the castle. Looking in the direction that Remus had taken off in, Peter said to Sirius, "I guess we can add this to the list, then?"

Sirius nodded mutely. He wished they had more information to go by, but they hardly remembered any of the exact times that Remus disappeared home. It had become a part of their lives, something they thought they could easily look over. But they couldn't do that anymore. He hadn't thought much of James's idea initially, like Peter, but he was beginning to see the cause for it. He had said it before; if they were really friends they would have to know what horrible things were happening to each other. Even if it was an uncomfortable subject, it would have to be known.

Sirius and Peter met up with James as he was coming out of the changing rooms, talking to his fellow Chaser, Lawrence Biggs, about a move the Hamilton had been going over with them. When he caught sight of his friends, James bid Biggs farewell and joined up with them.

"We have some more information for you, James," Sirius said the moment James was in step with them. He didn't feel like beating about the bush any longer.

James didn't even have to ask what Sirius was talking about. "Yeah?"

"Well, Remus just took off before and he looked like he was about to get sick. Add that to the list of symptoms."

"We still don't have that much," Peter reminded them. "What if it takes all year to figure this out?"

"We just have to think back to last year," James said. "Can we remember any other times he left?"

"New Year's," Sirius said.

"But he didn't actually _leave_, we weren't in school."

"Don't you remember? He came back all beat up and angry."

"Didn't he have a stomach virus, though?" Peter asked, trying to think back to that time.

"He did, yeah," James confirmed. "But before he was sick he had all these bruises and cuts on him. Viruses don't do that to people." He shifted the weight of his broomstick on his shoulder and whistled lowly. "So we have sometime around New Year's, we have September fifth; we have around Halloween, that week during July. And we have today."

"My birthday," Peter added.

"Those are really random dates, James," Sirius said.

"There has to be something they all have in common," Peter said desperately.

"Maybe if we go to the library and look up his symptoms? There has to be something in one of those books."

"Yeah, sure," James said. "Let's wait a little though, when we're sure Remus is gone. I think he's on to us."

* * *

The full moon glowed exceptionally bright that night, and it didn't help that Remus already had so many things weighing on his mind. Bright full moons meant pain worse than usual, and when his mind was heavy on thoughts, that only added to the agony. Remus lay on the four-poster bed at the top of the Shrieking Shack, mulling over the events of the past month. What were his friends up to? Were they really, as he feared, researching him? They had always been concerned about his wellbeing, what friend wouldn't? Recently, though, they seemed to only care about it because they were trying to figure out the cause of it. He knew it sounded selfish to think like that, either way they were proving that they cared about him. He just didn't like the uneasy feeling he received from it.

The moon would be rising soon, at any moment. He could tell by the unending shooting pains he received in his head, the cramps in his joints and the sweat pouring onto his forehead. He curled up into a ball on the bed and stared fixedly at the wall opposite him, as though if he stared hard enough the pain would go away. The pain did not lessen; it seemed to increase with his concentration. A nail hammered itself into his skull and the clouds outside, invisible to him, began to shift. The moonlight gleamed through the dusty window. The moon's glare hit Remus's pale and sweaty face and his transformation began.  
The nail that was making its way through his skull jammed itself into his brain as Remus screamed out in agony that could not be stopped. His trembling limbs stretched and cracked, making way for their wolfish counterparts. His once clean face slowly became covered in grey fur. His green eyes flashed yellow. He fell sideways off the bed, onto the cold wooden floor, groaning in protest as his human mind slipped away into unconsciousness, only to be replaced by the wolf's mind. In his new mind he had just one thought – food. But food was far out of reach, he had himself and only himself.

For the wolf, his own body would suffice.

* * *

"You have that written down?"

"Yeah, right here."

"What about that?"

"Yes, James, I have it all written down."

James, Sirius and Peter were taking advantage of the empty common room to continue with their research. They were sitting on Remus's empty bed, Sirius and Peter leaning over James's notebook as he scribbled away furiously. This was the perfect opportunity for them to continue their work – Frank was tutoring a Ravenclaw in History of Magic and Remus was away. They had the entire dormitory to themselves. Their information was still rather empty – they didn't have many leads, but, as was becoming their motto, it was better than nothing.

"I still feel kind of guilty about this," Peter admitted.

"Remus has no idea," Sirius said, thinking that this was all the reassurance he needed.

"That's exactly it. What if he thinks we're plotting against him or something?"

"Where would he get that idea?" James asked incredulously.

"We're being pretty obvious about it. Whenever he walks into the room and we're talking about it we change the subject to something completely stupid."

"What do you suggest we do?" Sirius questioned edgily. "Continue talking about it so he _knows_ we're snooping on him?"

"We're not _snooping_ on him," James said fiercely. They were making it sound like they were trying to hurt Remus, not help him.

"It's as good as," Peter said. "I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want my friends researching me."

"It's for his own good."

"Listen, if we're going to fight about this then we shouldn't even be doing it," Sirius snapped. "Can we just stop arguing?"

James and Peter nodded grudgingly. James stood up, clutching his notebook to his chest, and went to put it back in his trunk. As he stood up, he bumped Remus's nightstand and a piece of parchment that had been perched on the edge fluttered to the floor. Had it not been for the fact that it flipped onto the side with writing, James would not have given the note a second thought. He stooped down, under the pretenses of replacing it back on the nightstand, and hastily read it. What he saw was something that did not ease his nerves about the situation at all.

"James?" Sirius said peering over the edge of the bed. "What's up?"

"Look at this." James straightened up and shoved the note in Sirius's hands. "He didn't go home."

"What?" Peter said, looking over Sirius's shoulder at the parchment. "_Dear Remus, owl us and tell us how you're feeling. Love Mum and Dad._" He raised his eyebrows at his friends. "Tell _them_ how _he's_ feeling; his mother is the one who's supposed to be sick."

"This letter's dated from yesterday," Sirius said, pointing to the date scrawled at the top. "Remus did say that his father sent him a letter."

"Yes, but it was supposed to be his father telling him to come home," James said, staring at the back of the letter with a peculiar expression. "I don't understand, could it really be so bad that he has to lie to us like this?"

"Maybe it is," Peter said, looking down at the floor.

James sighed and bit his bottom lip. Maybe Peter was right in thinking that they shouldn't be researching their friend. If it was so bad that he openly lied about it every month… Maybe the truth was too hard to handle? Maybe whatever he had was terminal, without a cure. "I think Peter may have been right."

"About what?"

"About us researching Remus. Maybe it's best that we don't know what happens to him every month."

"Wait," Sirius said sharply, jumping up from his seat and glaring at James. "_You're_ the one who pushes us to do this in this first place and now you're going to tell us that we should stop when we're actually getting somewhere?"

"Where are we getting, Sirius?"

"It happens to him _every month_. That was something we didn't notice before. Only a few things happen every month, it narrows down the choices a lot."

"But we don't know what happens."

"Isn't that what we're trying to find out? He's our friend, James, and we have to figure this out. Maybe it's something we can help him with."

"What if there's nothing that can be done?"

"Then we make it bearable for him. We help him deal with it."

And, so with Sirius's final statement, they continued their research until Frank Longbottom walked in and asked why they were doing homework on a Saturday night. They would have to wait until the following day to go on.

* * *

The library was unusually empty for a Sunday, which was when the students got the bulk of their homework done. James, Sirius and Peter procured a table in the back, far away from the prying eyes of the librarian, Madam Jules. James was busy looking up any library book that could help them in their project, while Sirius was tackling a Transfiguration essay and Peter was working on his lunar charts for Astronomy. James was stumped in his work; he didn't have the foggiest idea of where to start. He had pulled out books on magical ailments, curses, magical creatures… He couldn't even begin to fathom what was happening to his friend.

"Any luck?" Sirius asked as he completed the final sentence in his third paragraph.

James shook his head irritably. He was poring over a book about magical illnesses and he had so far come up with nothing that resembled Remus's case. He flipped the page over and began reading once more.

"Full moon was last night…" Peter murmured as he did his homework. They had been assigned the task of charting the lunar phases for September and it was due the following day. Peter only had the beginning of the month done, not the end.

James's ears almost perked when he heard this innocent statement. "Repeat that, Peter."

"Full moon was last night?" Peter repeated, highly confused.

James's eyes widened at an alarming rate. He thrust the book he was reading aside and grabbed the book about magical creatures. "No," he said, his voice full with dread. "No, it can't be."

"What are you talking about?" Sirius asked, his face looking much the same as Peter's – utterly bemused.

James seemed to be in a state of shock. He kept turning the pages in the book over and over until he found what he was looking for. "No… Merlin, no."

"James!" Peter said loudly, earning nothing except a reprimand from the librarian.

"Merlin… oh, Merlin…"

James seemed to have completely forgotten that his friends were there. He turned almost to the back of the book and ran his index finger along the page until it came to rest of the creature he was looking for. He picked the book up so the cover was facing Sirius and Peter, disenabling them from seeing what James was. They could only continue to hear him mutter in denial, they could only see the top of his head shaking slowly back and forth. He jumped up, taking the book with him, and ran to another section of the library. When he returned, Peter and Sirius saw that he was carrying the lunar charts from the past two years.

James looked through them, consulting his notebook. The look of terror deepened with every phase he checked. September fifth… around Halloween… the week of New Year's… the week of July 23rd… August 24th… and the night before. When he could no longer deny it, he whispered the one word that voiced the cause of everything Remus had gone through. "Werewolf."

"What?" Sirius and Peter said. Unless their ears were mistaken, James had just said "werewolf."

"He's a werewolf," James repeated, his voice a little louder.

"Remus?" This was impossible; all the work must have been causing James to crack. There was no way that Remus, the quietest boy in their year, could turn into a bloodthirsty monster every month. It was impossible, unthinkable. James had to be cracking up.

"Are you mad?" Sirius hissed. He was in denial… there was _no_ way.

"I wish I was."

"How can you be sure?" Peter whispered anxiously.

"What else can it be? Look at the dates, they all fit."

James pushed the notebook he had been recording over to his friends and gestured for them to check the dates and the lunar phases. The weeks that they were unsure of the exact date held a full moon, and the days they _were_ sure of were full moons. Remus's symptoms fit the description in the library book. No matter how much they wanted to think different, they couldn't. Their friend was indeed a werewolf.

"What are we going to do?" Sirius asked, his eyes full of shock.

"I don't know… maybe we aren't even right," James said, hoping he sounded optimistic. "These could just be coincidences."

"How do we find out if it's true, then?"

"I don't know… If he is a werewolf then it's not safe to follow him. He could kill us without meaning to. We don't know where he goes to transform – _if_ he transforms."

"Hold on!" Peter said suddenly. He jumped out of his seat and ran off to the section of the library that contained old copies of the _Daily Prophet_. When he returned they saw he was holding an old copy that bore a headline about the Shrieking Shack. "This is dated September sixth from last year, that's the day after the full moon. The Shrieking Shack was named that night because of loud shouts and howls and noises. Werewolves howl and if Remus was transforming it would have to hurt. That would make him yell."

"You're not saying – you can't mean –" James couldn't believe his ears. He had been hoping that he was mad, just as Sirius had suggested.

"He goes to the Shrieking Shack."


	17. Abandonment

Chapter Seventeen  
Abandonment

James, Sirius and Peter could not fully grasp the gravity of the situation; it still seemed utterly impossible. They didn't know what part of it was worst – that they didn't realise it sooner, that they couldn't do anything about it, or that it had to be Remus who suffered such a fate. He had never done anything to anybody to deserve the hand he had been dealt. James had heard his father speak numerous times about the werewolves he had seen in St. Mungo's and the stories were nothing short of heartbreaking, especially his tales about the small children who had been bitten. Remus was only twelve; he must have been bitten young. If that was the case, he had never even gotten the chance to be a kid; he had been denied his childhood. James almost wished he had not found out the truth.

There was only one small glimmer of hope that they may be wrong, but they didn't dare follow Remus to the Shrieking Shack to find out. If Peter was right, that was where he went for his monthly transformations. It was far too dangerous to follow him the night of his transformations – or the nights when he _supposedly_ transformed. They couldn't put their own lives on the line like that, for their sake and for Remus's. Besides, they weren't even sure how to get there without going through Hogsmeade. The boys shuddered every time they thought of his transformations. They had read several descriptions in the libraries books and they were described to contain the most gruesome pain imaginable. Small children often died in the process. Everything they read in those books did nothing but make them fear the truth further.

Though, with their discovery, they found that many things about their friend made sense. When he began panicking about their detention in first year, saying repeatedly that he could not do it, they had thought it strange, but they hadn't thought much on it. Now they knew what had caused him to lose his composure in such a way. They remembered right before Christmas break started, they had been discussing what they planned on doing for the holidays. Remus had said that his grandparents never got the opportunity to visit, though they lived close by. He had said it strangely, not quite meeting their eyes; they knew the truth now. They may not have been fully afraid of him, but he scared them enough. Whatever accident he had had over the summer was not caused by his dog, it had happened while he was a werewolf.

They had not done it intentionally, but they were beginning to avoid Remus. They sat with him at mealtimes, kept their usual seats beside him during lessons, but they hardly spoke. They did their homework together, but they inadvertently kept Remus detached from the group. It wasn't as though they were frightened of him, though they sometimes felt as though they were. It was a hard concept to take in. They thought they knew their friend, and then they discovered that there was something alarmingly important about him that he had been hiding. They had always suspected it, but they never expected the overall scale of his secret. They weren't prejudiced by any means, but they couldn't help avoiding their friend until they figured out what to do. How could they break it to him that they knew?

Remus had not said anything about their new behaviour; he was actually taking it quite well. This only increased the guilt of James, Sirius and Peter. They knew that Remus must have experienced the loss of his friends more than he needed to, whenever they found out what he was. James, Sirius and Peter did not want to do that to him, but they needed to come to terms with the fact first. Once they did this, they could figure out how to go about confronting him. Still, it did not make the avoidance any easier. They needed time, that was all. Time to digest the information and wrap their minds around it.

"Hey," Remus said one evening when he spotted the three sitting by the fire in the common room. James, Sirius and Peter had been fitfully working on a difficult Charms essay and were finally making some progress. They jumped at his voice and looked up.

"Hi, Remus," they said in the same fake, automatic voice.

Remus sat down beside Peter and looked to see what they were doing. "Do you need help with that? I finished mine already."

"No," they said hurriedly. "We've got it," James added.

Remus was silent for a moment before standing up. "Okay… I'll be upstairs, if you do want help."

"I feel like a git," Sirius said when Remus had gone.

"Me too," Peter agreed, throwing his quill down on the table. "How much longer are we going to keep avoiding him?" he asked James.

"You ask that like I meant for this to happen," James snapped, his eyes focused on his essay. "We just need to figure something out."

"We can just _ask_ him," Peter offered sensibly.

"He doesn't want us to know, and we're not even sure that we _do_ know. We have to think of a way to go about it, a way that he won't get mad at us."

"I think he's mad at us now," Sirius said. "Abandoned, more like."

"Give it time, guys. We'll tell him we know, we just need to know how."

* * *

On the Saturday after James, Sirius and Peter had begun their avoidance, Remus was sitting out on the grounds, camera in hand, staring out at the lake. He had taken their avoidance well at first, but not anymore. He wanted to be mad at them, but he couldn't. He wanted to be mad because they had done just as everyone else had – they found out and they abandoned him. He could only be grateful that they hadn't announced it to the entire school, or told anyone. But he couldn't be mad because that emotion felt so inadequate compared to the others he was feeling. He was feeling abandoned, confused; anger just didn't matter. He would rather be angry; he would get some satisfaction out of being angry. Of course, when had he ever gotten what he wanted?

He stood up and walked around in a circle, desperately needing something to keep his mind off of the self pity he was experiencing. His father had always told him that the worst thing he could do when he was upset was to pity himself. It didn't solve anything. It only made the situation worse. He looked over the lake and saw the Giant Squid breaking through the surface of the water. He walked over to the shore of the lake and bent down on one knee, holding his camera up to his face. It was too good of a shot to miss – the lighting was perfect, the squid would only be in the position it was in for so long, gently propelling itself across the rippling water. The camera snapped the shot and the photo came sliding out of the slot in the front.

Remus slung the strap attached to his camera over his shoulder as he shook the picture, waiting for it to clear.

"That'll be a nice photo," said a voice from behind him.

Remus looked over his shoulder and saw Lily Evans standing a little way behind him, smiling at him. "Thanks," he said awkwardly. He glanced at the photo and saw it had a bit more developing.

Lily was looking at him, her smile faltering, as if she had something to say, but wasn't sure how to phrase it. Finally, she folded her arms across her chest and sighed. "Are you fighting with your friends?"

"No…" Remus said slowly, gazing distractedly over the lake. "Why?"

"Remus, don't lie. You're never with them anymore. Now tell the truth, are you fighting with them?"

"I don't know," Remus answered honestly, dropping his gaze to the grass. "I don't know what happened." This was not entirely true. He had a very good idea, but he wasn't about to share it with Lily. Nice as she may be, he wasn't ready to tell her.

"You four are always together, it's strange when you're not," Lily continued, watching him concernedly. "You really don't know what happened?"

Remus sat down where he was standing, his right cheek in his right hand and shrugged his left shoulder. "I think I know."

"What is it?" Lily asked, sitting down beside him. She knew he might not tell her, but she felt the need to ask. He had never done anything to warrant his friends abandoning him. But Remus said just as she thought he would.

"I don't really want to say. It's nothing against you, Lily," he added hastily.

"I know it's not."

"It's just that I can't help what it is."

"Is it the reason why you leave school?"

Remus knew it couldn't hurt very much to let Lily know that much. She had always proven herself to be a good friend; she deserved to know a little. Why hadn't he thought of that when it came to James, Sirius and Peter? He could have evaded this whole mess if he had let them have that much. He nodded slowly, still staring at the ground. "It's something that's been happening since I was three. I can't help it."

"Your mother really isn't sick all the time, is she?"

"No… _she's_ not the one who gets sick."

"_You're_ the one who gets sick?" There was no point in asking; it was painfully obvious whenever she saw him when he returned. He always looked pale and had bruises and scars over his face and hands.

"Well… yes. I've been… getting sick… ever since I was little and it's just something I don't like people knowing. If they knew exactly what it was… people never understood."

"Yes, but they're your friends."

"So were all the other people who claimed to be my friends and, the moment they found out, it was as if they'd never even met me. That was the better reaction."

Lily didn't even want to think of what else may have happened. "You know… being sick is nothing to be ashamed of."

"You don't understand. In the Wizarding World, kids are taught to hate this… particular illness. And the people who have it are ashamed because of that."

"But your friends… they know you enough not to-"

"That doesn't matter, Lily." There was a noticeable strain in Remus's voice. "People don't care if they know you or not. It's the same thing with Muggle-borns. No one cares what kind of person you are, but if you're a Muggle-born they might hate you just because of that."

"I'm sorry, Remus," Lily said quietly. She had never realised that his situation could be completely the same as being a Muggle-born. She had yet to really experience any prejudice because of her bloodline, but it was only a matter of time before it happened.

"You don't have to be sorry, Lily. Look, I really don't feel like talking about this anymore."

Lily nodded understandingly. She didn't want to press him on a subject that did nothing but distress him. She stood up, ready to go back to the castle, but she felt she had to say something before she left. "Listen, Remus, even if that's what people think of whatever might be wrong with you, it's nothing to get upset over. Your friends will come around, just give it time. Don't listen to what other people say; you're not a bad person and no one can tell you any different." She lingered a moment longer before heading up the grassy slope to the castle.

Remus watched her go, mulling over what she had said. He sometimes envied her for not being born around all the prejudices that witches and wizards had to experience. It had given her time to build her own solid beliefs. She was going to have to face intolerance eventually, because she was a Muggle-born, but she would be able to overcome it. He wished he could have that kind of skill, to not be so affected by what everyone thought of him. He had been looked down upon too many times, shunned everywhere except his home. One day he would tell Lily what he was, one day when he was ready. She was his friend and he never had to doubt it.

* * *

The Gryffindor second years sat in their last class of the day – History of Magic – drowning in a stupor of absolute boredom. Professor Binns was droning on about some nonsense in which they only caught one or two words and, even then, they weren't sure what he was talking about. James was idly doodling on the parchment he was supposed to be taking notes on. Sirius had planted his head in his folded arms and was staring at the wall, which was infinitely more interesting. Peter was folding up blank sheets of parchment into elaborate paper airplanes and Remus was leaning backwards in his seat, tilting on the back legs. Had this been any other day, they may have been playing a competitive match of hangman while Binns talked on, but each boy was far too preoccupied in his own thoughts.

"When does this murder end?" Sirius whined. He had neglected to wear his watch that day and was relying on Peter's timepiece.

"Ten minutes," Peter said, glimpsing at his watch. Sirius let out a strangled moan of despair and his face dropped back into his arms.

The next ten minutes passed so slowly that Sirius almost swore Peter had read his watch wrong. When the bell rang, breaking every student out of their daze, they packed up their books and filed out into the corridor. Outside the classroom, Remus turned to join James, Sirius and Peter, but saw at once that they had somehow moved so quickly they were already out of sight. Lily's words kept ringing in his ears as he searched needlessly around for the three – "they're your friends." He was struggling to believe her; he wanted to so badly. He gripped the strap on his book bag and walked swiftly, head down, through the crowd of oncoming students.

_Why are they being so bloody stupid?_ he thought angrily as he narrowly avoided trampling on a first year. He hadn't done anything to them, anything except keep a secret that would alter their whole opinion of him. Honestly, who could blame him? He had too many experiences with people he thought were his friends and then, the moment they discovered the truth, they said horrible things to him. He remembered one time when he was seven. He was at a friend's house and it was the day of a full moon. He had let it slip why he had to leave before nightfall and his friend's mother had been lurking just outside the door. The moment she heard she burst into the room and literally threw him out of the house. That was the last time he had ever said anything of his affliction.

He had hoped to catch up with them in the dormitory where they always went to deposit their belongings before heading to dinner. When he pushed the door open, he saw that only Peter remained. Peter was sitting on his bed, trying to undo a particularly tight knot on his shoelace. Remus sat down on his bed and watched for a while as Peter struggled with his shoelace.

"Bloody piece of string!" Peter swore loudly, throwing the shoe across the room and narrowly missing Remus's ear. "Oh, sorry about that," he said when he saw what he'd almost done.

"Its fine," Remus said dismissively, standing up and going to retrieve Peter's shoe. He had always had a knack for undoing stubborn knots. His father attributed this to the fact that when Remus was younger he would sit in front of the foyer closet and tie knots into all of the shoes. When he was caught he was forced to undo them. He resumed his seat and dug his nails into the tiny creases between the laces.

"You don't have to," Peter said when he saw what Remus was doing.

"I don't mind, I'm good at this."

Peter bit his bottom lip, his brow furrowed. They had been absolutely rotten to Remus. They had exchanged no foul words, but that seemed a better alternative to avoiding him. He wanted to say something, anything, but he didn't know what. "How have you been?" The question seemed lame as it came out of his mouth, but the silence was driving him mad.

"Fine," Remus answered shortly, slowly pulled out one of the knots.

"Oh, well… that's good."

"I suppose it is."

"That cut on your cheek, cleared up?"

"Yes."

"How did you get it?"

Remus seemed thrown by the question, but recovered himself. "Broke a glass, piece hit my face."

"Sounds painful."

"Not really." Remus undid the last knot and handed the shoes to Peter. "Here."

Peter took them, though he did not feel relieved that his shoe dilemma was solved. "Thanks," he muttered feebly.

"No problem."

"Well… I guess I'll go down to dinner." Peter shoved his shoes on his feet and, without tying them, hurried towards the door. Once on the other side, he placed his forehead in his hand. He had the perfect opportunity to tell Remus everything they knew. He had been sitting there, talking, and he had not said anything important. His brain went numb and all he could think of were stupid small talk lines. He knew Remus was upset with them, but he would never say anything about it. The least he, Peter, could have done was waited for Remus to go down to the Great Hall. He had blown another chance to talk to him about their discovery. Groaning in frustration, Peter went miserably down the spiral staircase leading into the common room.

"We're the worst friends imaginable," he said when he sat down beside Sirius at the Gryffindor table.

"Are we?" Sirius asked vaguely as he completed the crossword puzzle in the _Daily Prophet_.

"Yes. What kind of friends abandon their friend when they find out something that hurts him?"

"I dunno, Peter… What kind of friend doesn't tell his friends what happens to him?" James questioned harshly.

"He was scared, James. You can't blame him for that."

"So what? We're his _friends_ and friends tell each other these things. I don't bloody care what he is. I just wanted to know why he gets hurt. I have my answer now, and it didn't come the way I wanted it to."

"You're the one who kept saying that Remus couldn't know, and now you're mad because you didn't find it out from him? That makes no sense. If you had asked him, he may have told you."

"I doubt that."

"Okay, if he didn't tell you everything, he might've given you something. That's not a very easy thing to admit, James."

"I'm not prejudiced, Peter."

"He doesn't know that."

"He should, he's known me long enough."

"But he's also probably had other people find out and he probably got some bad reactions."

"Will you two shut up?" Sirius snapped, slamming his quill on the table.

"Why don't you tell us what _you_ think about this, Sirius?" Peter asked, hoping he could find an ally.

"I think that he'll tell us when he's ready. Until then, I don't know what I'm going to do about it. Peter said it, James. Admitting that is a hard thing. You should hear my father talk about… _them_… It's awful to hear."

"He doesn't have to worry about that from us," James insisted forcefully.

"He doesn't know that! We're probably the first friends he's had in years and he doesn't want to risk losing us. But let's face it, we _are_ losing each other. We're not speaking to him and he doesn't deserve that."

"Well, we don't deserve him not telling us."

"James, you've lived in a house with parents who don't care about things like people being what Remus is. It's not the same everywhere else, come round to my house and you'll see. My parents say terrible things about them, things that would make anyone in his position afraid to tell people."

"We're his _friends_."

"And, as his friends, we shouldn't be abandoning him the way we are."

James opened his mouth, ready to burst out with another retort, but he couldn't. Sirius was right; they were Remus's only friends and he was scared to lose them. They had not gone about this situation the right way. They should have just gone up to Remus and asked him what happened to him and that, whatever the reason, they would understand. But they hadn't done that, and it was his, James's, fault that they hadn't. He wanted to be secretive; he wanted to make sure that Remus did not have the faintest idea as to what they were doing. He had thought that by doing this they would be able to save their friendship, once they found out the truth. He had been wrong. Their secret research had given them the truth, but it had cost them one of their best friends.


	18. Remus's Tale

Chapter Eighteen  
Remus's Tale

He didn't care if he was being childish; he didn't care that his parents would not appreciate his decision. He just didn't care. He wanted to go home. How could he have let this happen? How could he have fooled himself to think that this would actually work? James, Sirius and Peter were different from all the others he had once called friends. They wouldn't have shunned him; they wouldn't have called him names. He had done this to himself; he had failed to see that his friends had proven themselves to be different, accepting. He had brought the abandonment upon himself and he was paying the price. He didn't care that he was running away from his problems. He just had to get as far away from the castle as he could. If that meant going home, he was okay with that. Anything to get away.

Remus was sitting in the empty dormitory, carelessly tossing his possessions into his trunk, listening as they thudded uselessly against the bottom. His head pounded painfully as he gazed into the mess that was his trunk. It had been two weeks, two of the worst weeks he had ever experienced. He had given up trying to talk to them, it was a fruitless attempt. There was no point. They had stopped talking to him, even Peter, who had always tried striking up an awkward conversation. The gnawing sensation in his head increased as he thought of this. He had brought it upon himself, there was no other explanation. He had lost his friends because he could not find it in himself to trust them, even when he knew he could.

He knew they weren't prejudiced, they had shown it countless times. Sirius had turned away from the traditional Black Family beliefs; he had proven that he did not care about the purity of blood. If he didn't believe in that, why would he care if his friend was a werewolf? Peter had never done anything to suggest that he would be a bigot; Remus had no right to suggest he was. James had come from a family that bore no superiority complex; James would certainly follow in their footsteps. He had ruined everything by not telling them; he could have avoided this whole situation if he had been honest. He winced as his head took another painful throb, and slammed his Charms textbook into his trunk.

He didn't know how he would get home; his house was quite far from the school. He supposed he could find a shop in Hogsmeade and use a fireplace to Floo home. But if he left at that moment, he would be seen. He shook his tired head; this whole plan was ridiculous. He couldn't leave school; his parents had wanted him to go for so long. How could he possibly dash their dreams in such a way? And Dumbledore… Dumbledore had done so much to ensure that Remus would be able to get a proper education, despite his Lycanthropy. He couldn't do this to the Headmaster. Remus sighed and rubbed his head. He was being stupid, selfish. If he left school he would be letting down everyone who had helped him get there in the first place.

He fell down to his knees and began unpacking his trunk, dropping the contents unceremoniously onto his bed. He glanced towards the door every so often, wondering if his roommates would walk through, but they didn't. He was glad about this; the last thing he needed was for them to see him in the process of emptying his trunk after he had tried running away from his problems. He was supposed to be a Gryffindor – brave, courageous, noble. Someone with any amount of courage would not run away from their troubles, no matter how difficult and frightening they were.

The door to the dormitory opened just as Remus finished putting away his last possessions. Sirius walked quietly inside, seemingly preoccupied in his thoughts and not noticing Remus. He went over to his bed and knelt down beside it. Sirius stuck his head under the bed and reappeared holding a sheet of parchment and a quill. Remus didn't know why Sirius had to look under his bed for such items; they should have been with his books. Then again, this was Sirius and he never kept anything where it was supposed to be.

"Have to write to my parents," Sirius explained when he saw Remus watching him.

"Oh," Remus said simply, suddenly becoming extremely interesting in his entwined fingers.

"They need to know if I'm alive at least," Sirius went on, sounding as if he needed something to take up the empty space.

"Well, you are."

"They won't be pleased to hear that."

Remus allowed himself a small smile. As long as Regulus was alive, Mr. and Mrs. Black were happy. Sirius scrawled a quick message onto the parchment, folded it up into a tight square, and stood up. This was the longest he had been in a room, alone, with Remus in a long time and he hadn't the slightest idea as to what to say. The only thing he could think to say was what Peter had said, "How are you?"

And Remus gave Sirius the same answer he had given Peter. "Fine."

"Feeling alright?"

"Yes."

"Good… that's good." He glanced around the room, thinking of something, anything, that could break the tension engulfing the room. But something had blocked his flow of thinking. He could figure out nothing meaningful to say, nothing to let his friend know that they weren't mad at him for keeping a secret. Before running through the open doorway, Sirius blurted out, "I'm sorry."

* * *

October passed dreadfully slow. The first two weeks were, naturally, filled with those awkward and tense meetings between the boys, all of which had resulted in nothing that could solve their problems. The only person who had not come in any private contact with Remus was James. It was not because James was afraid to be near him, that was hardly the truth. He just couldn't bring himself to. He felt betrayed that someone he had called his best friend couldn't tell him anything. Sirius and Peter often told him that he was being stubborn, but James didn't think he was. He thought Remus was the stubborn one.

They had checked the lunar charts to see when the next full moon would rise and saw that it fell on the twenty second of the month. They didn't know what to do about this, if they were going to do anything. They certainly couldn't follow him to the Shrieking Shack, if that was, indeed, where he went. If they followed him and he caught wind of them, he could unwittingly attack them. They knew all too well that if a werewolf killed an innocent bystander they would be sent off to Azkaban with no chance of ever coming out. Besides, they didn't even know how to get to the Shrieking Shack without going through Hogsmeade, and they strongly doubted that was the way Remus took. They could do nothing except observe Remus the day of the full moon. They noticed that, unlike before, he seemed to be sicker than usual.

On any other day that Remus said he had to go home he usually looked pale; he got sick once or twice, but he was always able to get out of bed and spend the day with them. On this particular day, his face was whiter than the bed sheets, he got sick more than once or twice, and that was the only time he left his bed. Frank, who had no idea what was happening, suggested that he go to Madam Pomfrey. He even offered to walk with him in case he got sick again. Remus declined this offer, saying he felt better in his own bed, and those were the last words he said to anybody that day. He kept the curtains closed around his bed and slept when he could.

James, Sirius and Peter spent the day in the common room, close at hand in case Remus needed them, though they doubted that he would ask him. Even if they were not speaking, they still felt that they had to be there if he needed them. They passed the time playing Exploding Snap, Gobstones, and completing the homework they had neglected. It was only when sunset was arriving that they saw Remus emerge from the dormitory. He seemed fairly confused, gazing around the common room as though he wasn't quite sure where he was standing. He began to make his way through the common room, which was, thankfully, considerably empty, and stumbled forward slightly. James, Sirius and Peter saw Lily stand up and help him out of the portrait hole.

"You don't think _she_ knows, do you?" James asked, eyeing the spot where the two had left.

"I don't think so," Sirius said, shaking his head. "She just wants to help him."

Sirius was right, of course. Lily did not know of Remus's affliction; she only knew that he was ill and needed help. When Lily returned she said nothing to anyone about Remus and continued working on her Defence Against the Dark Arts homework. The boys also made no mention of it and tried their best to pretend that nothing was happening at that moment. Their friend was not transforming into a werewolf. They had gone from a month of thinking nonstop about it to denial. They went to bed that evening, each of their minds filled with horrifying images of werewolf transformations and pain-filled cries.

Sirius's eyes opened at daybreak. He crept stealthily out of his bed and to James's trunk, where the Invisibility Cloak was kept. He had made his decision the previous night as he was getting into bed. He knew that there was no chance he could follow Remus at night, but he could in the morning, when Remus was human once more. He found the Invisibility Cloak stuffed under James's broken potions scales and, as noiselessly as he could, yanked it out. He hid himself under the Cloak and tiptoed through the dormitory door and out of the common room.

The castle was quiet; all the students were still in bed before they had to awaken for classes. The ghosts seemed to have left the premise. Not even Peeves, who enjoyed this time to set up traps for unsuspecting students, could not be found. He walked past Mrs. Norris, who was prowling about, searching for out of bounds students for Mr. Filch. He resisted the urge to kick her and crept on, knowing that he had little time to reach the Shrieking Shack and see Remus before someone went to retrieve him. Unless he walked back to the castle by himself? No… that didn't seem likely.

The grounds were coated in morning dew and the grass squished beneath Sirius's feet as he made his way to the Whomping Willow. He didn't know why he was headed that way, but his instincts were telling him that this tree held some of the answers he was looking for. He could remember Remus becoming unusually upset whenever the Whomping Willow was mentioned. Could this tree possibly be part of the mystery? The branches were whipping about in the breeze, ready to take out any student that dared come within reach. Sirius stood by it, peering at its trunk and wondering what part it could play. He was running short on time; he had to find this out.

A branch came out of nowhere and Sirius jumped forward to avoid getting hit. He rolled forward on the grass, the Invisibility Cloak falling off, and found himself face to face with the trunk of the tree and an unexpected surprise. There was a passageway just large enough for a single person to slide through. Now he understood why Professor Dumbledore was so strict about people staying away from the tree and why he had it planted in the first place. There was something beyond this tree that nobody else was supposed to see. Before the Willow could have another go at him, Sirius dove headfirst through the hole, clutching the Invisibility Cloak to his chest.

He landed in a pile of dirt and shakily stood up. When he gained his bearings, he saw he was at the head of a long and dark tunnel. He suddenly wished he had not forgotten his wand back in the dormitory. He carefully walked the distance of the tunnel; occasionally cracking his head on the lower parts of the roof. He thought the tunnel would never end; he must have been walking for an hour at the least. He could not even spot his watch in the darkness to see if he was exaggerating. At long last he came upon a doorway. He pushed it open and was soon standing in what appeared to be a living room. The wallpaper was ripped, bits of the furniture seemed to have been bitten off, and other items were overturned and smashed in bits. What could have done this?

He spotted a stairwell and decided that the best course of action would be to go up it. The stairway led off to another door that was closed. Somehow he knew that his answers were behind that door, Remus was behind there. First putting the cloak back on, Sirius then grasped the cold doorknob, slowly turned it and pushed the door open. Sunlight was streaming through the dusty windows and fell upon a crumpled figure in the corner. Sirius's breath caught in his throat as he recognised the figure to be Remus. Sirius flung the Invisibility Cloak off and shoved it in his pocket as he dashed over to his friend's side.

Every feeling of betrayal left him as he gazed at his friend's beaten form. Remus's robes were torn and shredded, revealing nasty lacerations that were steadily seeping with blood. His right eye was completely blackened, his green iris almost indiscernible. Remus's lip was swollen, his nose bleeding and bruised. Sirius could see his friend's wrist was at a funny angle, no doubt broken. Through the rips and tears in Remus's jumper he could see purple discolouration on his ribcage. Sirius felt sick and he saw that Remus must have felt the same way the previous night when he spotted a pile of vomit across the room.

He heard footsteps coming from behind him and instantly tossed the Invisibility Cloak back on and hurried to the opposite wall, farthest away from Remus. The door had been left open and Madam Pomfrey noticed this when she came in. She shrugged it off and looked pityingly at Remus, lying unconscious on the cold wooden floor. She knelt down beside him, placed a new pair of robes on the floor, and her wand was out. Sirius could since Remus's face scrunch up in pain; he was coming to. He made to move, but Madam Pomfrey placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and held him down.

Sirius's feeling of sickness increased as Remus groaned in indescribable agony.

"It's okay, Remus," Madam Pomfrey whispered as she tapped her wand on a gash across his lower abdomen.

Sirius couldn't take it; he had to get out of there. Grateful that Madam Pomfrey had left the door open, he slipped into the hallway and ran blindly out of the shack. He had no clear idea of how he managed to get out of the tunnel and away from the Whomping Willow without becoming injured. All he could think of was what he had seen. Remus… unconscious and bloody. Remus… almost crying in pain. In the time that he had known him, Sirius had never seen Remus Lupin cry. How could they have abandoned him? Remus did that to himself, he hurt himself! He caused himself that kind of pain and he could do nothing to stop it.

Sirius burst into the dormitory twenty minutes later and saw that it was only a little past six. James and Peter were still slumbering peacefully, not a care in their minds. He ran to each of the boys and shook them violently on the shoulder, trying to wake them up without also waking Frank. James slapped Sirius's hand away, and Peter muttered some nonsense under his breath. They were refusing to wake.

"Bloody hell, wake up!" Sirius hissed angrily.

"What?" James whined, rubbing his eyes.

"Come with me."

James and Peter looked confusedly at each other, but followed Sirius down to the common room. They sat down on the couch in front of the fireplace and waited for him to stop his pacing and say something. Sirius was having difficulty coming to terms with what he had just seen; the scene was so vivid in front of his mind's eye. He wanted to scream. It wasn't fair. Remus didn't do anything to deserve what he had gone through. It wasn't fair. In his frustration, Sirius kicked at the table leg in front of him.

"What happened?" James asked concernedly. He had rarely seen Sirius so upset.

"He_ is_ a werewolf," Sirius muttered miserably, his voice breaking. The words felt like a ton of bricks crashing on top of his head.

"You followed him?" Peter whispered, horrified.

"Not at night, no. This morning, I found him in the Shrieking Shack. He hurts himself… bad." He clenched his fists until his knuckles were white. It wasn't fair. "You had to see him… He hurts himself so badly."

"How?" Peter asked in a small voice.

"I don't know… he just does. He doesn't deserve this. We shouldn't have abandoned him the way we did! We're horrible! What happens to him is horrible!"

"Sirius, keep your voice down," James warned.

"And you!" Sirius raged, turning on James. "You were the one who kept saying that he should have told us. If you saw what I saw you would know why he didn't tell us!" He wanted to scream; he wanted to do something that would relieve him of the agony he felt. "We have to do something about it; we can't let him suffer like that."

"What do you expect us to do?" James asked, his voice still with shock. "Werewolves are dangerous to humans; we wouldn't be able to help him while he's in his transformation."

"I know... I just want to do _something_ to help him."

"We can't do anything about that right now. We need to wait and talk to Remus. I don't think he'll be ready today, or at least not until tonight." He stood up and began leading Sirius towards the steps to the dormitory. "Get some sleep while you still can, mate."

Sirius did not resist. But, as they walked up the stairs with Peter trailing behind, he turned to James. "It's not fair, James."

"I know it's not."

* * *

James, Sirius and Peter knew Remus had returned from the Hospital Wing before dinner and that he was resting in the dormitory at the moment. They had been struggling for the past half hour to burst in there and tell him that they knew everything, but they feared what they would see when they came upon him. Sirius was the only one prepared; he had seen it already, but James and Peter were dreading it. They could not come to grips with the fact that their best friend was capable of inflicting such harm upon himself. The thought sickened them, made them ill.

"We have to do this," Sirius murmured determinedly, pushing the door open and stepping inside. James and Peter followed and their eyes instantly fell on the bed that belonged to Remus. The curtains were, miraculously, not drawn around it. Remus was lying on his back, staring blankly through his uninjured eye into space, rubbing the bandage on his wrist. He didn't seem to hear them walk in and it was only when they stood around his bed that he had no choice but to look at them.

"How are you, Remus?" James asked.

Remus was getting tired of answering this question. "Fine."

"Look, we have to talk to you." James sat down at the foot of Remus's bed, folded his arms across his chest, and looked his friend straight in the eye. "You don't have to hide anything from us."

"We know what happens to you," Sirius admitted, sitting down beside James.

"I can't help it," Remus said, looking down at his sheets.

"We know you can't," Peter said, sitting opposite James and Sirius. "And we're not holding that against you."

"We just wish you had told us," Sirius said, reaching out a hand and placing it on Remus's shoulder. Remus winced slightly; Sirius saw this and withdrew his hand.

"I… I wanted to… so many times… But I couldn't." Remus placed his forehead in his hand and stared down into his lap. "People… they don't understand… I was… I dunno."

"You were scared," James deduced, his eyes never leaving Remus's face.

"I don't like being scared, but I can't stop feeling that way."

"You don't have to be." Sirius stood up and walked around to the other side of his friend's bed. "You don't have to be scared of us."

"I'm not scared of you… Well, I _was_… I'm more scared of what I could do to you if you ever found me as what I am."

"But Dumbledore's done everything he can to stop that," Peter said encouragingly. "He won't let that happen."

"You can't guarantee that, Peter… The things I do… I get violent and I have no one around to take it out on, so-"

"So you take it out on yourself," Sirius finished, nodding. Remus finally tore his eyes away from his lap and looked up at Sirius. Sirius was staring down at him as though he had never seen him before, but it was not in a way of anger. It was in a manner that showed he was truly hurt that his friend had to suffer in such a way. "I saw you this morning, before Madam Pomfrey came to get you."

"How did you know where I was?"

"Peter figured out that you went to the Shrieking Shack, and I just knew that Whomping Willow had something to do with it. I saw you and… I don't know what to say about it."

"Then you see why I'm afraid of anyone finding out, what I can do to them."

"No, I see more that you're my friend and I never want to see you like that again. I want to help you. We all do."

"But there's nothing that can be done. My parents have tried everything the Healers come up with… every bloody cure they can think of. They never work."

"That's what happened to you, isn't it?" James piped up. "My dad saw your father at St. Mungo's, but he wouldn't say why you were there. He just said you were sick."

"The cure they came up with didn't work and it was made with something I was allergic to. My dad and mum didn't know that; they didn't know what would happen if I took it."

"Your dog has never hurt you, he has? You've been doing it all to yourself."

Remus nodded shamefully. "And my mother has never been sick. _I'm_ the one who gets sick, _I'm_ the one who hurts me; I'm the one who does everything."

"But you're _not_ the one who turned yourself into a werewolf," Peter said bracingly.

Remus's hands convulsively gripped his bed sheets and shook his head furiously.

"Who did it to you?"

"Fenrir Greyback," Remus spat, the name sounding like a disease when he spoke it. "He bites children because he wants to raise them away from their parents. He wants to teach them to hate wizards because they don't accept us. He wants to make as many werewolves as he can so we can overtake wizards. But he can't have me; his plan didn't work with me." A muscle in his jaw tightened as he thought about the monster that had caused him to lose his childhood. "My parents wouldn't let that happen. They kept me and tried to help me."

"How did it happen?" Peter asked in a low voice.

The muscle in Remus's jaw tightened further as he thought about that fateful night nine years ago. "My father… he got into an arguement with Greyback. He never told me what it was about, but I know it had something to do with what Greyback does. Greyback didn't like that and before the full moon he found out where we lived. He positions himself close to the people he wants to bite when the full moon comes. He figured that the best way to make my dad regret what he said was to turn his only child into a monster. I was only three when it happened, I didn't know better. I didn't know that I shouldn't leave the house at night without my parents. But I always liked dogs and I thought Greyback was one."

James exchanged a glance with Peter and Sirius. Maybe this was the reason Remus always blamed everything on his dog. His love of them had driven him to become a Dark creature.

Remus seemed to have read James's mind. "Maybe that's why I say my dog does everything, but I don't blame him. I didn't even have him at the time. Anyway, I was sleeping and I heard something scratching against the house, so I got up to see what it was. My parents were already sleeping, it was late, and I just walked out the front door. I could hear something, but I didn't really know what it was, so I kept following the sound. By the time I found Greyback I was so far away from my house I could barely see it. When I saw him I thought he was a dog and I went to try and pet him, but he snapped at me and I think that was when I knew I'd done something wrong. I shouldn't have left my house. Greyback backed me up into a tree so I couldn't run away and the last thing I remember about that night was just feeling pain in my arm."

He rolled up the sleeve on his right arm to his elbow and turned his arm so the underside was facing up and held it out for his friends to see. There was a pink scar that looked as if it had not faded since the day he had gotten it. It was the mark that had cursed Remus since he was only three years old. "It never fades, you can always see it. When I woke up I was in St. Mungo's and I just remember the Healers saying that the best thing my parents could do for me was to put me down before it got worse." He laughed harshly as he thought about it. "Like I was some kind of animal, like I didn't matter enough to save. But my parents wouldn't do it; they weren't going to kill me if they didn't have to. My mum - she's a Muggle - she had no idea what she getting herself into. My dad felt so guilty he didn't look at me for days. When the first full moon came, he never left my side. He still blames himself."

"But _you_ don't blame him?" Sirius asked. He could never picture Remus holding a grudge against his father.

Remus shook his head. "He didn't know what would happen. It took him years before he could tell me the whole story, of why it had to be me. I used to feel sorry for whoever had done it because I knew how it felt. I knew what it was like to not have any control over what I did. After my dad told me, I began to hate Greyback, and that hasn't changed. Greyback took my childhood from me, he stole any friends I could have had, and he almost took away my chance to go to school. If it wasn't for Dumbledore, I wouldn't be here."

"Dumbledore's a good man," James said quietly.

"Dumbledore didn't see why I shouldn't come to school. He said that as long as we made sure I couldn't find anyone to hurt, I could come. He was kind of right. I can't hurt anyone else except myself. Werewolves need blood and meat, or else they go mad. I'm the only person in the Shrieking Shack, so I bite and scratch myself. Now you know why I look the way I do when I come back." He flinched as a pain shot across his wrist. Peter moved forward, but Remus shook his head. "It just hurts a little." He sighed and looked up at his friends, who were all staring at him as if they'd never seen him before. "I'm sorry I never told you. I'm sorry I had to lie to you for so long and tell you things that I knew you wouldn't believe. I wasn't doing it to hurt you; I wasn't ready for anyone to know. You three are my best friends and I was afraid of losing you like I'd lost everyone else I called a friend. I just don't want you to be mad at me for it. I really am sorry."

James, who had for so long claimed that Remus had no right to not tell them, stepped forward. "You have nothing to be sorry about."


	19. Dinner Parties and Bad News

Chapter Nineteen  
Dinner Parties and Bad News

"What's the answer to number five?"

"How should I know?"

"You're on question eight, Remus."

"I skipped five."

"You're no help to me. James, what'd you get?"

"Hmm… what'd you say, mate?"

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter were sitting in the common room Tuesday night, working on their Transfiguration homework. It was the first night they had done their work together, all four of them, since James, Sirius and Peter found out about Remus's secret. As they sat around the table in front of the fireplace, it felt like they had never been separated. They talked and laughed just as they always had. The only change was that that they talked a bit more, laughed louder. Professor McGonagall had given them a particularly difficult assignment in which they had to answer questions about the origins of modern day Transfiguration.

James, who was the furthest behind in his work due to Quidditch practises, was currently staring across the common room, an odd expression on his face.

"What are you looking at?" Sirius asked, whipping his head around to where James was gazing. Sirius rolled his eyes when he caught sight of the object of James's stare. It was Lily Evans. She was sitting with Frank and Alice, chatting lively about something they could not hear. "Does someone fancy Lily Evans?"

"What?" James said, snapping out of his reverie. "What are you talking about?"

"You've been looking at her for at least fifteen minutes."

"I have not. I've been thinking of an answer to the homework."

"And what have you come up with?"

"That I don't know the answer."

Sirius shook his head and muttered something under his breath that sounded oddly like "pathetic."

"Wait," Remus said suddenly. "I got the answer!"

"For number five?"

"Yes."

"Well, what is it?"

"There is no bloody answer!"

"_What_?"

"She's asking us about something in the year 1991. That year hasn't happened yet!"

"Are you serious?" Sirius snatched up his question sheet and his eyes raced across the page until they located question five. He saw that Remus was right; Professor McGonagall had distinctly written 1991. "What date does she mean?"

"I have no idea."

"You know she's going to expect us to know what date she actually meant," Peter said as he wrote down his answer to number six.

"But she wrote the date down wrong," Sirius argued stubbornly. It was one less question that he had to do and he wanted to keep it that way. "It's her fault if we don't put something down." He crossed out question five completely and moved on to his next unanswered question. "How much homework do you have left, Remus?"

Remus, who had done none of his homework over the weekend due to the full moon, was up to his ears in assignments. He had only managed to complete his Charms essay for Professor Flitwick. He had to make up his Defence Against the Dark Arts essay for Professor Jones, but he had until Thursday to do that. He had to finish the Transfiguration assignment, and write an essay on the properties of two ingredients in a Swelling Solution. Aside from the essay Professor Flitwick had given them, he also instructed them to practise the Locomotion Charm.

"Too much," he muttered, scanning his Transfiguration work, hoping he had hit every point he needed to before going on to his Potions essay.

"You can copy some of ours," Peter offered, pushing his Potions essay across the table.

"Thanks, but I've got it."

It had only been one day since they found out the entire story behind Remus's Lycanthropy and they were trying to go on as though it didn't change their friendship. As it had only been one day, no change, or lack thereof, was evident. The only sign that whatever rift had occurred between the four boys had ended was that they were, once again, inseparable. Where they had once sat next to each other in class, they now sat together, talking happily while they did their assignments. They ate their meals together again. They were a unit once more.

* * *

The Potions classroom was silent except for the bubbling of the potions as they stewed. The Gryffindor and Slytherin second years had stepped away to wash their hands and put away their ingredients. They had been working on a potion that would change the smell of anything you placed into it. Professor Slughorn explained that the reason this potion was so popular was because you could make something that initially smelled rotten smell as nice as a rose. This remark received a number of snickers from James and Sirius, who were both looking pointedly at the back of Severus Snape. Lily Evans glared at them, but, surprisingly, did not tell them off.

The boys were conversing cheerfully, though there was a mischievous streak that went undetected. There was a strange glint in each of their eyes, but there was nothing around to suggest that they were plotting anything. James was showing Sirius a piece of parchment he had written on, the both of them laughing quietly. Remus was waving his wand idly, listening as Peter rattled off the ingredients in the potion they were concocting, trying to remember if he had used them all. As Peter finished his list (stating, very clearly, that he had used _daisy roots_) a sizzling sound started issuing from one of the cauldrons. Unfortunately, it was not coming from the correct cauldron.

Abrac Zabini's potion was the intended target. It was supposed to crackle until lavender flames came out and spelled the phrase "I love you, Severus Snape" in a set of red and pink roses. Instead, Zabini's potion remained the useless pile of liquid that it was, and it was Remus's potion that was sizzling. James and Sirius saw this instantly and, wanting to spare Remus from the humiliation, tossed the parchment James had been holding inside the cauldron. Professor Slughorn had his back turned, searching the first row of cauldrons, and did not notice James's action. Remus's potion began bubbling madly and everyone knew what was to follow.

"Get back," James warned, stepping as far away as he could from the cauldron. The class followed his lead and ducked just as Remus's potion blew sky high. Fortunately, the potion had been so poorly made that it had no affect whatsoever on anything. Professor Slughorn clicked his tongue, shaking his head sadly, and gestured for Remus to follow him. Remus frowned apologetically to his friends and trailed slowly behind the Potions Master.

"We hexed the wrong cauldron?" Sirius hissed in James's ear. "How did we manage that?"

"I sneezed when I was pointing my wand," James confessed, a smile creeping on his lips. If Remus wasn't in trouble, they would be able to find some humour in this. The bell gonged above and the boys filed into the hallway with the rest of the class and waited just outside the doorway.

Remus exited the classroom moments later, staring determinedly at the ground.

"What happened, mate?" Sirius asked.

"First, Slughorn told me to tell you two," he pointed at James and Sirius, "that he expects to see you at his office tonight for one of his little dinners. And he _knows_ you don't have Quidditch, James." Sirius and James groaned angrily; they loathed Slughorn's parties. "Second… Slughorn is making me get a tutor. I managed to talk him out of getting Snape ("Like he'd actually do it," James muttered) so he's going to ask Lily for me."

"Really?" James asked in what he hoped was a casual voice.

"Yes, since I wouldn't let Snape anywhere near me." He shoved his hands in his pockets and stared down the corridor. "How did we mess that up, anyway? It was supposed to be easy."

"Blame James," Peter said, jerking a thumb at the untidy haired boy.

"Thank you, Peter. I didn't _mean_ to ruin it."

"Forget it," Remus said, cutting quickly across Peter's ready retort. "We fixed it before we did any real damage. I feel bad for you two though." He turned to Sirius and James. "Locked up in a room, having dinner with Snape tonight."

James and Sirius groaned, their faces falling into grimaces. In their opinion there was no worse a fate than having to witness Severus Snape eat.

"I'd say Remus and I are the lucky ones," Peter laughed, grinning at the pitiable expressions his friends were wearing.

"Shut up," Sirius moaned. "Do you know anyone else who's going?" Sirius asked Remus.

"Probably Lily. Slughorn loves her."

"Brilliant," James said, his voice rising. "Another person who hates me. Hey!" He turned wildly around, facing each of his friends in turn. "Can one of you hex me so I don't have to go?"

"As much as I would love to hex you, no. Who's going to get _me_ out of going, then?"

"Sorry, James, no."

"Remus, hex Sirius and me!"

"I'm not getting detention."

"You won't get detention. Come on, be a man!"

"Why don't _you_ be a man, Sirius, and suffer through it."

They fell into silence and trekked on to Defence Against the Dark Arts. Professor Jones was waiting at his desk for his students to arrive, and smiled cheerfully when they entered. He slid off the desktop and waved his wand in the air so that all of their essays flew into the air and into his hands.

"I will have these back to you by your next lessons," he said as he placed the stack in his briefcase. He grouped the class into several groups and assigned them a magical creature to research and answer questions on before the bell rang. James, who was working with Xenophilius Lovegood and Mary Porter, hissed in Remus's ear as he passed "too bad you're not doing werewolves." Remus laughed nervously, glancing at his group mates – Lily and Jensen Patil. Luckily, they seemed to have not heard a word James had said.

Later that night James and Sirius bid Remus and Peter a very dramatic farewell as they made their way to the dungeons for Slughorn's dinner party. Their efforts to skive off the whole affair had been proven fruitless (largely due to Remus and Peter refusing to hex them). They were going to use the excuse that they had far too much homework and couldn't afford to waste a second. Unfortunately they had been given very little homework, and they were almost positive that Slughorn knew this. Their final option had been to just run, but they knew the Snape would never let them forget it. So, in grudging resignation, they found themselves stomping down the stone steps leading into the dungeons.

They could hear voices talking cheerfully from somewhere up the corridor and glanced at each other: It was their last chance to run. Remus and Peter were probably already in the Great Hall having their dinner; they could use some more company. Everyone in Slughorn's room probably wouldn't notice their absence. Except Slughorn, that is. But when did they ever care about what their professors wanted? They spun around on their heels and made to run, when a voice stopped them.

"Ah, boys!" Slughorn had stuck his head out the doorway, clearly hearing their approaching footsteps. "I thought I heard someone out here. Come in, come in! We're all just enjoying some pheasant."

James and Sirius both gagged at the thought; they had so far avoided having to eat Slughorn's food. This time, however, they were exceedingly hungry. Reluctantly they followed Slughorn into his office, which was full of a select group of students. They instantly spotted Lily Evans's red hair seated next to Snape's greasy black hair. They were in conversation about something the boys couldn't hear. Sirius's eyes fell on Regulus, who was eyeing a bit of pheasant distastefully. Regulus felt someone's eyes on him and looked up, but quickly dropped his gaze when he saw that it was his brother. Amongst the group were a Ravenclaw they did not know, two Hufflepuffs they recognised only by face, and themselves.

"Eat, boys, you must be famished!"

Bracing themselves for whatever pheasant tasted like, Sirius and James took a piece and hastily shoved it into their mouths. James almost gagged on his, but Sirius appeared quite thoughtful, chewing slowly and looking up at a spot on the ceiling.

"Not too bad," he mused, taking another piece.

James rolled his eyes and searched around for somewhere to sit. The only two vacant seats sat beside Lily and Snape. They didn't really mind sitting next to Lily; it was just her dinner companion they had a problem with. However, they knew better than to cause a disruption in a teacher's office, especially since they were only there at invitation.

"It wasn't that difficult," Lily was saying, poking her fork at a potato.

"You're the best at Charms, of course you wouldn't find it hard," Snape countered thoughtfully.

James rolled his eyes at Sirius, relaying the thought: _Is he flirting with her?_ Sirius shrugged and cut up more pheasant.

"The homework said – oh, hullo Potter, Sirius," Lily said when she noticed the newcomers.

"Hullo," the boys said. "Snape," they acknowledged, nodding at the Slytherin.

"Potter, Black."

"Remus and Peter didn't get an invitation?" Lily questioned.

"Remus has blown up too many potions," James said, shaking his head.

"'N I don' fink Slugern 'ikes Pete," Sirius added through a mouthful of pheasant.

Lily looked revolted at Sirius, so turned her attention away from him. "You're all speaking again?"

"Yeah, Remus told us everything," James said, though he did not say much more because he saw Snape's interest increase.

"That's good. Is he feeling better?" James nodded.

Lily smiled and she turned back to Snape. James, bored already and not exactly willing to eat any of Slughorn's food, got up and wandered around the office. Slughorn was conversing cheerfully with the Ravenclaw, who looked rather unnerved. James frowned sympathetically at the boy; Slughorn forced his presence on unwilling students far too often. The Hufflepuffs were talking quietly, laughing at their private jokes. The only other person, besides himself and Sirius, who was sitting alone was Regulus. James found this strange; the last time they had checked, Regulus was friendly with Snape. He must not have been enjoying the company his friend was keeping.

James was tempted to sit down beside the youngest Black, but the thought of Sirius's horrified face prevented him from doing so. In fact, Sirius was at his side almost the moment after James thought of sitting. Sirius was looking rather green around the gills and was clutching his stomach.

"I don't think that pheasant agreed with me," he moaned.

"Hey, there's our excuse for never coming back. You get sick from his food."

"You mean that's _my_ excuse for never coming back. _You're_ not the one about to barf his brains out."

"If you're going to be sick, do it over there."

Sirius gazed at the direction of James's pointing finger and was almost persuaded to take him up on that, but the storm in his stomach had somewhat subsided. Instead, his eyes scoured the room and came to rest on Regulus.

"Hullo, little brother," he said, dropping into the chair beside him.

Regulus jerked his head up and stared at Sirius in annoyance. "What do you want?"

"Just wanted to see how my brother's doing."

"I'm doing fine."

"Just fine?"

"Yes?"

"Not brilliant?"

"No."

"Not spectacular?"

"_No_."

"Not so amazingly, wonderfully, spectacularly-"

"Shut up, Sirius!" Regulus jumped up from his seat and stormed across the room to sit with Snape.

Sirius leapt up from the chair and grinned at James. "I feel better now."

"You're mental." James glanced at his watch and saw, with dread, that they had only been in the room for ten minutes. They were certain that Slughorn would not let them escape for another fifty at the very least. They didn't understand why the Potions Master insisted on putting them through this agony, though he probably found it quite enjoyable. It was not long before they were hailed by Professor Slughorn himself and forced to listen to him talk about his various connections in all aspects in the Wizarding World. They honestly did not care about who Slughorn knew in the Ministry, or who sent him the finest crystallized pineapple.

James and Sirius did the best they could to not look too pained and bored. They resorted to the old standby of smiling and nodding. Their only stroke of luck was that Professor Slughorn did not seem to notice that they were tuning his every word out, only catching the key phrases. He talked for such a long time that James and Sirius almost did not hear when the questions were turned on them. So, rubbing their necks, which ached from their excessive nodding, they gave the man some halfhearted answers and prayed that he would leave them alone. After fifteen minutes Professor Slughorn became caught up in a conversation with Lily Evans and Snape, leaving the boys to their own business.

"Oh, you witty girl," Slughorn chuckled, patting his rotund stomach. "You would have done well in my house."

James and Sirius looked at each other in shock; they could not imagine Lily ever going into Slytherin. She was rather skilled at holding grudges, but she was not the slime they saw in that house. She would never become a Dark witch. They saw Lily's face turn a shade of light red and smile pleasantly at him.

"That's what I said," Snape muttered just loud enough for the boys to hear.

"Of course that's what _you_ said," James snarled.

Slughorn looked over his shoulder at James. "Did you say something, m'boy?"

"No, sir." James peered at his watch once more and saw that they had only been there a half hour. It wasn't as good as fifty minutes, but it was better than nothing. They wouldn't be missed. He gestured for Sirius to follow him. They slipped out the door and, when they were sure Slughorn was not about to follow them out, did a mad dash for the exit out of the dungeons.

"Merlin! Why didn't we _make_ Remus hex us so we didn't have to sit through that?" James shouted when they emerged into the Entrance Hall.

"I don't know," Sirius said, panting. "That was murder. That was almost worse than sitting through one of my parents' stupid parties."

"Come on, Remus and Peter are probably back in the common room."

They began making their way up to Gryffindor Tower, devising numerous ways in which they could avoid going to anymore of Slughorn's little gatherings. Their top contender was having a baby Mandrake cry in their ears and knock them out for a few hours. Unconsciousness was preferable to sitting in that office. As they were rounding the corner into the hallway of the portrait of the Fat Lady, they saw Professor McGonagall walking by with a student at her heels. On closer inspection, they saw that it was Alice Gordon. Curiosity gripped them instantly and they listened carefully to the conversation the two were having.

"… will be heading home for a few days, until you're ready to come back," McGonagall was saying in a voice very unlike the one she usually had. This voice was soft and gentle, as opposed to her brisk voice. They couldn't hear Alice, so they assumed she hadn't responded, or maybe she had just nodded. What had happened? "Come with me to the Headmaster's office. I am so sorry, Alice."

James and Sirius backed up into the shadows as the Transfiguration professor and fellow Gryffindor passed by. When they were sure the path was clear, they headed to the common room, hoping someone inside would have some answers for them. When they gave the Fat Lady the password ("Flobberworm!") they were met with a sullen and miserable common room. No one looked up when James and Sirius entered; they were too immersed in their own thoughts. The boys spotted Remus and Peter sitting by the window with Frank Longbottom. They were not talking, simply staring out at the darkened sky. Remus was paler than usual, his fading bruised eye standing out on his whitened skin. Peter's eyes were full of disbelief as his stare alternated between the window and the floor. Frank was gazing miserably out at the starry night.

"What happened?" James whispered, sitting down beside Remus.

Remus, Peter and Frank said nothing; they were still trying to figure out what had happened.

"Guys?" Sirius said slowly. "What's going on?"

"Alice's dad was found dead tonight," Remus replied quietly, not looking up at Sirius.

"What?" James and Sirius's mouths had dropped open.

"Her mother had gone out for the day and when she came home she found him dead in the living room," Frank explained listlessly, not breaking his watch into the night.

"Poor Alice," James murmured in disbelief.

"She's going home to be with her mum," Peter said. "We don't know if she's going to come back until after Christmas."

Remus was fishing for something in his robe pocket and, when he pulled it out, they saw it was a copy of the _Evening Prophet_. On the front page was a picture of the mark in the sky they had seen when Professor Flitwick's sister was killed. "There was a struggle… and this mark was in the air."


	20. A Lupine Christmas

Chapter Twenty  
A Lupine Christmas

Alice did not return to school until after the Christmas break, just as Peter had predicted. The morning following her departure the students were, once again, frantically scouring the pages of the _Daily Prophet_ for any hint as to whom Mr. Gordon's murderer may have been. Speculations arose, but only the teachers knew the identity of the killer and refused to share this information with the students. The Gryffindor students, in particular, were anxious to discover the identity of the attacker, yet their efforts bore no results and they were just as lost as the other houses. Lily kept up a constant correspondence with Alice over her absence, as did Frank, and reported to the remaining Gryffindor second years how Alice was doing. Each report, unfortunately, was the same – she was getting on well enough.

The Halloween Feast did not hold the same cheer it usually did, though Professor Dumbledore and the rest of the staff tried his best to make it pleasurable. He had lined up a ghoul to sing. Peeves put on an unannounced (and unexpected) spectacle involving eight students having pumpkins smashed over their heads, and Nearly Headless Nick played an instrument that sounded like nails scraping against a chalkboard. The food was delicious as always, but many of the students, mostly Gryffindors, were not interested in eating it. The professors saw the students' lack of interest in the feast and called an early ending, which turned out well enough as Peeves was about to bring down a few suits of armor. The students trudged to their common rooms, talking mundanely about whatever they happened to be thinking.

Shortly after Halloween, Remus began his tutoring sessions with Lily. She was more than happy to help him and had an incredible amount of patience, which only benefited her charge. It took Remus an enormous amount of time to grasp the simplest concept, no matter how easily Lily explained it. Professor Slughorn allowed them access to the classroom and the storeroom so Remus could practise concocting the potions Lily was teaching him about. Lily proved to be an exceedingly gifted teacher. She had managed within the first week to teach Remus how to create a successful Swelling Solution. It was the first potion he had ever brewed that did not explode or fall into uselessness.

The first Quidditch match of the season took place in the middle of November and it was between the age old rivals - Gryffindor verses Slytherin. The tensions between the two teams were high; there were daily duels in the hallways, most of them resulting in one or two students ending up in the Hospital Wing with something sprouting out of their noses or ears. James, being one of the new and more skilled teammates, was the target of many of these attacks. He had been forced to hex a number of students in return, much to the infuriation of his professors. Professor McGonagall promised that after the match he would be receiving a painfully difficult detention. James didn't care, though. His hexing was purely self-defence, and if he happened to get a Slytherin good, that was all for the better.

The day of the match dawned bright, sunny and windless – the perfect Quidditch conditions. James headed to the changing rooms after being wished good luck by his friends. The whole team was assembled in the room, already wearing their scarlet robes, and listening to Cory Hamilton's pre-game pep talk. James listened intently as he pulled on his scarlet robes. Hamilton knew everything that could be known about how the Slytherin team played. He knew the name and execution of every one of their moves, the faults and triumphs of each member. He seemed so caught up in his speech that he had not noticed it was time to play. His voice caught in his throat and he could do no more except jerk his head towards the door.

The match proved to be a short one, a shock to many. Usually the matches between Gryffindor and Slytherin were so competitive the game would last an hour at the least, this one lasted only a little over a half an hour. But Gryffindor knew their opponents better than Slytherin did and, with Hamilton as their Seeker, the Golden Snitch was caught extremely quickly. To add to the massacre, the three Chasers had already scored a hundred points. The Slytherins left the pitch angrily, speaking mutinously about the next time they would face the Gryffindors. The Gryffindor team laughed at this, shouting that they looked forward to beating them a second time. As a result of the match, James was immediately hailed as one of the best Chasers Hogwarts had seen in years, a title he willingly took to.

December brought a fresh batch of snow and the prospect of Christmas holiday. A few days before Professor McGonagall would take down the names of those remaining at the castle, Remus raised a proposition to his friends. They were sitting at the Gryffindor table, having dinner, when he brought it up.

"You know, my parents wrote to me and said I could invite you three over for Christmas this year… if your folks don't mind, I mean."

Sirius's face split into a grin. "My parents will be glad to see me gone."

"I'll take that as a yes?"

"Definitely."

"What about you two?" Remus looked at James and Peter.

"Sorry, mate," James said, shaking his head. "But my parents have already decided that we're going out of town for Christmas, and they want me there."

"That's alright. Where are you going?"

"Probably France again, they're not sure yet."

"Cool. What about you, Peter?"

"Can't. We're going to visit some cousins in Belgium."

"Sounds fun."

"Wait," Sirius said, looking up from his stew, "is Christmas a good… _time_… for you?"

Ever since they had found out Remus's secret they were never sure how to refer to it in public. Often James referred to it as a bad time of the month for Remus, who quickly became annoyed with it, saying that it made him sound like a girl. Now they just lowered their voices and asked if it was a good time.

"No… it's a few days before." He stabbed a roast potato with his fork. "It won't be a problem."

* * *

"It's not very big, probably a lot smaller than your house, but-"

"It's wicked, Remus."

They had just arrived at the Lupin house and Sirius and Remus were standing in the middle of the living room, leaning on their trunks. Other than the Potter mansion, Sirius had rarely seen a house so welcoming. The fire Mrs. Lupin had lit was crackling pleasantly in the grate and there was the smell of fish coming from the kitchen where she was cooking. The house was not yet decorated for the holidays, but it held a Christmas air about it, the snow outside adding immensely to the effect. Sirius didn't understand why Remus was trying to make an excuse about the size of his house; anything was nicer than his own house. This house looked as though actual people owned it, not certified psychopaths.

"Well, I guess I'll show you where you're sleeping."

The boys picked up their trunks and Sirius followed Remus up the stairs to his bedroom. Remus's bedroom hung over the downstairs, which was visible through the railings at the head of his room. The walls were, like the downstairs, wooden paneled, as was the floor, and were covered with photos Remus had taken and a red and gold scarf Remus had nailed above the window over his bed. There was a bookshelf to the left of Remus's bed and it was filled with a number of different coloured covers and different sized spines. There was a desk perpendicular to the shelf and perched on top of the desk, in the midst of a clutter of balled up parchment, was a contraption Sirius had never seen before. It was a large square box with a sort of curved tube coming out of the top.

"What the bloody hell is that?" Sirius asked, pointing at it as though it might jump up and eat him.

"It's a phonograph," Remus replied, sitting down at his desk and picking up what looked like a needle.

"A phono-what?"

"A phono_graph_. It plays music."

"How?"

Remus stood up and went over to his bed. He stooped down to his knees and pulled out a thin, square box. He turned it over on its side and a round disc fell into his hands. He placed it on the top of the phonograph and placed the needle on it. After a moment or so, he began to hear music coming from the large tube.

"Wow," Sirius said in awe.

"My mum got it for me for my eleventh birthday."

"After you got your letter?"

"Yeah, she was so proud she wanted me to have something I'd really like."

Sirius grinned. Remus's parents must have been thrilled when their son received his Hogwarts letter. They had probably convinced themselves long ago that Remus would never have to opportunity to gain an education because of what he was. He could see why Mrs. Lupin would want to get him something special.

"What's the name of these people?" Sirius asked, sitting down on his cot, which was set up at the end of Remus's bed.

"The Rolling Stones."

"Never heard of them."

"Well, you wouldn't. They're Muggles."

After the song faded away, Remus removed the needle from the disc and replaced it back under his bed. They returned downstairs and Sirius sat down at the piano bench. He had somehow not noticed the large instrument when he first came in. The piano stood against the wall across from the couch and looked as though it had just been cleaned. Sirius pushed the cover over the keys back and ran his fingers down the board.

"Very good, Sirius," Remus laughed as he sat down on the couch.

"And you can do better?"

"Actually… yes."

Sirius slid over to make room for his friend and gestured for him to show off. Remus hesitated before taking a seat beside Sirius. He raised his fingers over the keys but did not begin to play until Sirius pressed his hands onto the piano, resulting in a loud, obnoxious jumble of noise. Sirius grinned playfully at Remus and nudged him in the shoulder. Knowing that Sirius was not going to give up, Remus forced himself to play a song that often reduced his mother to tears, as he mentioned to Sirius. He chanced looking up at his friend as his fingers raced across the keys. Sirius's mouth was slightly open and he looked like he had never heard anything quite like the song before.

"Merlin," Sirius said when the last notes faded away as Remus released the peddle. "That was good."

"Thanks," Remus said, lazily playing a scale.

"I didn't know you could play the piano."

"My mum taught me when I was younger." When he had turned six his mother and father had gone out for the day, leaving him with his grandmother. When they returned Remus's father and a few other men were pushing the large object through the front door. His mother came in behind them and, when she saw her bewildered son, explained that she wanted him to learn to play the piano. She later called it a good way to vent his anger when he needed to.

"Can I learn that, whatever it is?" Sirius asked keenly.

Remus laughed. "It's called Canon in D and that took me two and a half months to learn. I can't teach it to you in three weeks." Sirius frowned and looked at his friend with the most pathetic expression he could muster. "Maybe I have something easier. Get up." When Sirius was standing, Remus pushed up the top of the bench and rummaged through the scattered sheets of music. He drew up a single sheet and placed it on the piano. "This should be simple enough."

"What is it?"

"A minuet, it's one of the first songs I learned." He studied the notes, trying to recall how it sounded, before playing the piece.

"Remus, I haven't heard you play in ages." Mrs. Lupin had come into the room and was watching her son happily.

"Haven't had time," Remus mumbled, producing a pencil from the top of the piano and writing on the paper.

"Did you play my favourite song for Sirius?"

"Yes he did, Mrs. Lupin," Sirius said. He wondered why Remus suddenly looked embarrassed. It wasn't long before he discovered the answer.

"You should pick a song with lyrics, that way you could sing it."

"_Mum_."

"You _sing_, mate?"

"Not well."

"Nonsense, Remus. You have a wonderful voice."

"Sing for me, Remus," Sirius jibbed, elbowing his friend in the ribs.

"What is this? Embarrass Remus Day?"

His mother laughed good-naturedly. "Oh, Remus, we're not laughing at you."

Sirius coughed in a rather obvious way, earning nothing except a shove in the shoulder from Remus, which almost knocked him off the bench. "So violent," Sirius said in disbelief.

"Dinner will be ready in an hour, boys." Mrs. Lupin disappeared into the kitchen, smiling and humming to herself as she left.

"I like your mother," Sirius said as he watched Remus write numbers under the musical notes.

"That's good."

"Especially since she gave me blackmail!"

"Merlin…"

"Why are you so embarrassed that you can sing and play the piano?"

"I'm not embarrassed."

"Yes, you are. Listen, mate, girls are suckers for guys who can sing."

Remus grinned in spite of himself. "I'm sure they'll really go for a singing werewolf then." He replaced the sheet music on the stand and pointed to the numbers. "Count that for me, will you?"

Sirius looked at him, confused. "Why?"

"Just do it."

Still bemused, Sirius counted the numbers Remus had written, wondering the entire time why Remus was playing as he counted; it was distracting. An hour later Remus had only accomplished teaching Sirius how to read the notes, both in the bass and treble cleft. Though he had managed that, he could hardly teach Sirius to play a measure. Sirius was enthusiastic, but too much so. Remus didn't have the patience that Lily had when she was tutoring him. After a while, however, he suspected that Sirius was messing up on purpose just to get a rise out of him.

"Like this, Sirius," Remus said in a carefully calm voice. He played the measure and made Sirius repeat him. "No…" He played it again and Sirius tried once more. "You're just doing this to bug me." Sirius nodded pleasantly and tried to play it again. "Play-the-measure-like-this-you-stupid-git."

Sirius let out a barking laugh and almost toppled backwards off the bench. "I got you to sing!"

"_What?_"

"Right there!"

"I didn't."

"Yes you did…"

"Merlin!" Remus jumped off his seat and walked around the room very fast, trying to block out Sirius singing "I got Remus to sing" in a horribly loud voice. When Remus was calm enough to sit down, he pushed Sirius down, shoved his hands on the keys and played the song hand over hand.

When they finished, Sirius was looking rather pleased with himself. "Told you I could play it."

* * *

It was early in the evening on the twenty first. The sky was a deep purple, almost black, and it was only five. The winter solstice brought the shortest day of the year and also one of the worst recoveries Remus ever had to endure after a full moon. Sirius had listened in shock the previous night as his friend's scream ripped the still winter air to shreds. He had to admit, he greatly admired Mr. and Mrs. Lupin. They managed to keep themselves together long enough to help their son. The nine years of experience must have hardened them, though not to the point of indifference. Sirius doubted they would ever reach that point; they loved Remus far too much.

Remus had slept most of the day, using his dog as a pillow. The only time he ever woke up was to use the bathroom, and that was only twice. Sirius heard Mr. Lupin saying to his wife that this was the worst they had seen since July when he had the allergic reaction to the potion. Remus had sustained three broken ribs, dangerously deep lacerations, his ankle was swollen to the size of a Bludger, and his eyes were bruised. Sirius couldn't even think of the remaining injuries that he had not heard. He spent the majority of the day sitting on his bed and leafing through the books on Remus's shelf. He read bits and pieces, not really taking in the words, but needing something to do with his time.

Remus stirred a little after five. He seemed surprised to find the house so dark, though the lights were lit, giving off a calm glow. "What time is it?" he asked tiredly.

"A little after five," Sirius replied, setting the book he was reading down. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I listened to you play the piano."

"That bad, huh?"

Remus began to laugh, only to stop when his sides could not handle the movement. "Can you do me a favour?"

"Sure, Remus."

"Help me sit up for a minute? I think Dommie wants to get out." His dog's side must have been numb from where his head had lain on all day. Sirius lightly gripped Remus's arm and held him up long enough for Dommie to scurry off the bed and down into the darkened living room. Remus fell back into the position he was originally laying in, which looked rather uncomfortable to Sirius.

"Are you comfortable like that?"

"Not really, but I'm kind of stuck like this."

"Here, I'll help you-"

"No, I'm fine like this."

Sirius retreated back to his seat at Remus's desk. He picked up his book again and flipped through the pages. Then, deciding that he was in no mood to read, he looked up at Remus. "Listen, I'm sorry about giving you a hard time the other day. If you were embarrassed, I shouldn't have made fun of you like I did." He had never properly apologised for making fun of Remus and probably driving him up several tall walls at once.

Remus shifted slightly so he could see Sirius. "It's okay."

"But if you were embarrassed about-"

"I wasn't, it's just… it's probably a talent I won't have much longer."

"What do you mean?"

"You heard me last night; my transformations aren't going to get better as I get older. They'll get worse and my screaming will get louder and I'll probably have a tough time even talking."

Sirius said nothing. Despite the fact that they had discovered the story behind Remus's Lycanthropy, he had never heard Remus speak much about it. It was a topic they successfully tried avoiding. He hated the idea that his friend could have a talent when he was young but then, because of his condition, have it taken away. It didn't seem fair, though Sirius was quickly learning that many things in life were unfair. Sirius turned away and began fiddling with the needle on the phonograph.

"You can put something on, if you want," Remus said when he saw what Sirius was doing.

"It won't bother you?" It looked as though Remus was going to fall asleep at any moment and he didn't want the music to disturb him.

"I sleep with music on all the time." He yawned widely. "Helps me fall asleep."

Sirius shrugged and began searching under Remus's bed for one of those strange discs. He sifted through the various covers, chuckling to himself at the strange titles. _Muggles…_ He came upon a disc with the strangest title across it. It was by something called The Beatles, but he saw no bugs, just people.

"Beatles?" he said, bemused. "Like bugs?"

"Beatles like Ringo… George… John," Remus replied sleepily.

Sirius considered the disc for a moment before getting up to play it. The needle scratched the rotating black disc and faintly the music began. Sirius sat down and listened quietly to it. He could understand why Remus liked it; it was a nice song. It wasn't hard on the ears and he could easily see his friend trying eagerly to learn it on the piano. He wouldn't have been surprised if Remus had already tried. _Let it be… let it be…_ He stared out the window above Remus's bed, which revealed a darkened starry sky. The sky looked different here in the country than it did in London, it looked more inviting. Sirius knew this was probably because his family was far away and he was in a place where he was wanted. Mr. and Mrs. Lupin had been so kind to him. They treated him as one of their own sons.

Sirius peered at Remus and saw that he seemed to be sleeping once more. He stood up and headed for the stairs. Mr. Lupin had offered him a round of Exploding Snap, saying that they both had a fair chance of winning. Sirius thought it may be fun and he knew that Mr. Lupin also needed something to keep his mind off his recovering son. What better way to do that then with a game? Before descending the stairs he glimpsed over the railing and saw Mr. Lupin sitting on the couch, holding a book in one hand and scratching Dommie behind the ear with his other. The music was still playing, the same song coming slowly to an end. As the last line played, Sirius could have sworn he heard another melodic voice along with it.

"_Whisper words of wisdom, let it be…_"

* * *

Christmas morning dawned very early with Sirius jumping on Remus's bed and singing "God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs." Startled, Remus fell sideways off his bed and onto the cold wooden floor. Getting over the initial shock, Remus knew there was nothing else to do except join in. Remus's parents and grandparents were less than thrilled with the early wakeup call, but got over it quickly. Despite that they had gotten over their abrupt awakening, they did make Remus and Sirius wait an hour before they could open whatever gifts they may have gotten. They passed the time poking at the piano as Sirius made a truly honest attempt to learn the song Remus had begun teaching him.

It was eight in the morning when Remus's parents and grandparents appeared in the living room, fully dressed. Mrs. Lupin lit the Christmas tree and began passing out the presents to their owners. Presents from James and Peter had managed to brave the snowfall and were resting comfortably under the branches of the trees, waiting for Remus and Sirius to unwrap them. Sirius was surprised to find two gifts from James for him. One was a small cylindrical container that bore no title whatsoever. Curious, Sirius pulled the top off and a bunch of compressed tubes released themselves into his face. Remus stifled a laugh at Sirius's shocked face and then occupied himself with the copy of _Hogwarts: A History_ James had sent him. James's second present for Sirius was far more pleasing than the first. It was a personalized copy of _Quidditch through the Ages._

"James got carried away with the books, eh Remus?" Sirius said, flipping causally through the pages.

"They're not bad ones," Remus said, glancing through the table of contents of his book.

Mrs. Lupin picked up a box decorated with red and gold wrapping paper. She read the label and passed it to Sirius. "'_From Remus to Sirius_.'" Sirius took the package and glanced at Remus, who was absorbed in the cover of a record his parents had given him. He didn't even seem to have heard his mother. The gift was fairly light, the weight staying mainly around the middle. Sirius flipped it over to the side Remus had put together with Spellotape and broke the seal. Sirius crumpled up the paper, placed it in his lap and turned the gift over.

"I'm getting better at thinking up gifts for people," Remus said, finally looking up from his record.

It was a picture Remus had taken at the end of first year. He, Remus, James and Peter were lying on James's bed, talking about some nonsense or other and Remus had whipped out his camera. He pressed a button on it and in an instant had his wand out and was levitating it in the air, while they made the most ridiculous faces they could. Sirius grinned at his photo image; he was trying to look as cool and stud-like as possible, though it was impossible because Remus was in the process of giving him a noogie with his free hand. James was ruffling his hair, chuckling happily at the floating camera. Peter, who was sandwiched in between Sirius and Remus, was sticking his tongue out. What was more was that Remus had framed it with a silver frame decorated with a lion, a serpent, a badger and a raven on each corner.

"Remus, this is great," Sirius said, not removing his gaze from the photo.

"And I used the potion you guys gave me for my birthday last year." Remus prodded his photographic self, who quickly retaliated by trying to slap his finger away.

"It's brilliant." Sirius carefully set it aside and clapped Remus on the shoulder.

"Here's the last one," Remus's grandmother, Gabriella, said. She was holding a small box wrapped in navy blue paper. "'_From Sirius to Remus._' Here you are, Remus."

Remus quickly unwrapped it and pulled open the flaps on the box. Inside he could see something round catching the light. He turned the box over and a snow globe fell into his hand. Remus peered inside it and saw it was a forest scene. A crescent moon was suspended in the air while the snow fell as Remus shook the globe lightly. He then saw a wolf running through the miniature trees and pausing to bay at the moon above. Remus glanced up at Sirius, who was suddenly looking apprehensive, as if that wasn't the best of presents. Remus could also see his parents and grandparents looked them same. They had nothing to worry about, absolutely nothing.

He cracked a smile and laughed. "Brilliant."


	21. Animagi

Chapter Twenty One  
Animagi

The inhabitants of Gryffindor Tower had been sitting in the same positions for the past hour and a half. It was now half past eight at night and they all had some homework assignment they should have been working on, but what was going on at the present was far more interesting than Transfiguration or Potions. The day had been going smoothly, nothing unusual occurring. Then, halfway during dinner, Severus Snape's ears turned violently bright shades of purple and pink. Loud snorts of laughter came from all corners of the hall, but mostly four boys sitting at the Gryffindor table. It was painfully obvious who those four boys were. However, it was only one of those four boys who was currently being chewed out by an irate Lily Evans. It was James Potter. He had jumped up to take the blame, though not all of the credit, for the prank against Snape and Lily was not happy about this.

The Gryffindors were sitting on the couch, the armchairs, the floor, all watching in silent hilarity as Lily and James shouted back and forth at each other in front of the fireplace. Some of the sixth years were placing bets on how much longer the arguement would ensue. Three fourth years sitting at one of the tables were watching avidly, munching lazily on Chocolate Frogs. Some of the fifth years were debating in hushed voices about how much longer Lily was going to yell. Sirius, Remus and Peter had taken front row seats and were now discussing whether or not they should tell Lily it hadn't been _all_ James's fault. They wanted their work to be noticed, after all. Yet Lily and James remained oblivious to all of this. Their shouting overshadowed many of the bets and debates going on.

"Do you think we should tell Lily?" Remus was saying, watching the red head and the mass of untidy black hair go back and forth.

Sirius laughed. "Why? James willingly took the blame."

"I feel kind of bad watching her yell at him."

"You would rather have her yell at _you_?" Peter asked him doubtfully.

"Well… no… but James didn't do it all by himself, did he?"

"Yeah, but we'll take our credit silently," Sirius said, shifting in his seat.

"He didn't even _do_ anything to you, Potter!" Lily shouted for about the thirty seventh time in the past hour and a half.

James was stumped for a moment, unsure that he actually had a retort that would suffice. "You know, it's more that he was just _there_."

"What kind of excuse is that?"

"Hey, chuck me that pack of Drooble's, Remus?" Sirius asked, holding out his hand.

"You're enjoying this too much," Remus said as he tossed Sirius their last pack of gum. Sirius grinned impishly and nodded. Remus's eyes followed Lily as she moved to the other side of James. "You know, I think Lily was supposed to be tutoring me an hour ago."

"And you didn't point this out?" Peter asked in amazement as he ripped open a box of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans.

"Potter!"

"She seemed busy."

The fight continued for another fifteen minutes, and resulted in a loud bang and a puff of smoke engulfing the two bickerers. When the smoke cleared away, the Gryffindors could see Lily's wand raised and James's face planted on the carpet. A few students stood up to get a better look, but they didn't have to once James raised his head. It looked as though Lily had given him a makeover in the split second that they were invisible. James's face had been coated with the most ostentatious colours of rouge, lipstick, anything imaginable. James should have known better than to cross one of the best Charms students Hogwarts had ever seen.

The room was quiet, the occupants staring in wonder at James, and then the silence was broken by three howls of violent laughter. Sirius, Remus and Peter were cackling uncontrollably at their friend's face.

"You're so pretty, James!" Sirius managed through his bouts of laughter. "Those are really your colours."

James glared at Sirius, as if being hexed by a girl in front of the entire house wasn't bad enough… Lily, satisfied with her work, stalked off to join Alice and Frank on the dormitory steps. James, who appeared to want to vanish into thin air, hurried past the group of sixth years that had been betting (two of them miserably handing over a few sickles to the winner) and out of the common room. The three boys glanced at each other; James clearly wasn't in his right mind if he just went out into the main castle, especially when curfew was about to fall. Abandoning their positions on the couch, they followed James.

"I can't believe Lily did that," Peter said, amazed.

"I can," Sirius said, picking up his pace.

"We should've taken the Invisibility Cloak," Remus panted. "Filch has been dying to catch us for something ever since we left those Dungbombs in his mopping bucket."

"Forgot about that… We'll just be quiet, then."

They couldn't imagine where James was headed. Where would a boy go if he had just been hexed into makeup? Their first instinct was that he had gone to the Hospital Wing to have Madam Pomfrey take care of it, but they thought against it. James didn't want the nurse to see him like that. He must have been headed for the nearest bathroom. However, when they came upon the lavatory, it was empty. They couldn't think of where else he would have gone. There were only so many boys' bathrooms in the school, unless he went into a _girls'_ bathroom.

"I remember hearing Mary Porter saying something about there being a girls' bathroom that's always out of order on the second floor," Peter said as they came out of the last bathroom for boys. "Nobody ever goes in there."

"You don't think James went in there, do you?" Remus said. They were already on the second floor; it couldn't hurt to travel down it a bit further. When they approached the unused bathroom, they hesitated for a long time before Sirius got the guts to push the door open and march determinedly inside. They were instantly met with the high-pitched laughter of someone that was clearly not James. It was the pearly white figure of a girl with horn-rimmed glasses and pigtails. She was hovering over one of the sinks, above James, whose head was bent forward over the taps.

"Will you shut up?" James snapped at the ghost.

The ghost did nothing of the sort. If anything, her laughter increased. James's face was sopping wet as he furiously tried scrubbing off the makeup Lily had forced onto him. So far, he had only succeeded in removing the minimum amount and had a long way to go before he looked like a proper boy again.

"You know, James, you look so pretty I reckon Snape would ask you out," Sirius snickered.

"Sod off," James muttered, cupping his hands under the river of water in the sink and splashing it onto his face.

Sirius continued laughing, only to stop when he noticed that the ghost was staring at him with a rather dreamy expression. "Um… hullo," he greeted uncertainly. "Who are you?"

"Myrtle," the ghost answered, her voice much resembling her expression. Sirius took a step backwards and turned away from the ghost.

"Moaning Myrtle?" Remus said without thinking. He had heard Lily mention how difficult it was to go to the bathroom in this particular lavatory because the ghost that haunted it was always wailing about something. He did not realise he was about to start another of her tantrums.

The dreamy look she had been wearing moments before vanished as she shrieked, "Tactless!"

Remus stepped back, sensing danger. "Excuse me?"

"You should know I don't like being called _Moaning_ Myrtle! How would you like it?" In a cry of anger, she swept up into the air and came down through one of the toilets. The boys jumped back as water came spilling out.

"She has a point, Remus," Peter pointed out.

"I'm not the one who came up with the name!"

Myrtle's wailing reached an unbearable pitch and, rather than wait for James (who seemed to be oddly immune to the noise) to finish cleaning himself up, Sirius, Remus and Peter dashed out of the bathroom, deciding to wait in the hallway. Even out in the corridor, they could still hear the ghost and apparently Filch did as well. They could hear the distinct disgruntled growl of the caretaker as he prowled closer and closer. The three boys could see a faint light coming from further down the path and ran back inside the bathroom.

"Back for another go at me?" Myrtle cried.

"Filch is coming," Sirius said to James, ignoring Myrtle.

James looked up, his face free of makeup, and his eyes darted to the door. "Didn't you bring the cloak?"

"No… We came to look for you!"

"Well you should've gotten the cloak!"

"Will you two shut up?" Remus and Peter snapped. They were pointing to the door. The light from Filch's lantern was spilled through the crack at the bottom as he crooned to Mrs. Norris.

"That's right, my sweet, we'll catch those troublemakers."

The door was open before the boys had a chance to hide and, before they knew it, they were cleaning the floors of the dungeons with toothbrushes.

* * *

February brought with it a few more feet of snow, and bouts of the flu infecting many students throughout the castle. Madam Pomfrey was spending almost all of her time handing out Pepperup Potions to the students who came in, coughing with runny noses and aching stomachs. Among these students were Remus and Peter, who had managed to catch a fever when they were ambushed by a group of Slytherin fourth years out on the grounds. They had been down at Hagrid's hut, helping him tend to some Nifflers and, as they were walking back to the castle, they felt cold streams of water falling on top of their heads and soaking them to the skin.

The fact that the full moon was approaching did not make matters much better, but Remus made it through his transformation no worse than he normally did. The only setback was a slightly longer recovery than he would have liked. Madam Pomfrey refused to let him leave the Hospital Wing and also refused to let the boys in to see him. He was let out two days later on Tuesday and had some news to share with his friends. Remus found them at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, trying to figure out two words that were synonymous with the worst Quidditch team ever.

"Chudley Cannons," Remus supplied when he sat down beside James.

"Thanks mate," Sirius said, scribbling it in the empty spaces. He folded up the _Daily Prophet_ and tucked it in his robes pocket. "How're you feeling?"

"Better. You know who I saw in the Hospital Wing?"

"Who?" Peter asked as he searched the plate of potatoes for a suitable one.

"Professor Jones."

"He was ill?" James asked interestedly. They had had Defence Against the Dark Arts that day and the professor appeared to be well. Granted, he was more distracted than usual, but he seemed in good health.

"He looked like he was."

"He probably just has the flu," Sirius said, shrugging.

"I dunno… The way Madam Pomfrey was talking, it sounded worse than the flu.

James looked intrigued. "Did she say exactly what was the matter with him?"

"No… but she sounded mad that he hadn't gone to her sooner."

"I hope it's nothing serious," Peter said anxiously. Jones was one of their favourite teachers; they didn't want anything bad to happen to him. "Did he look really bad?"

"He didn't look good. Madam Pomfrey shooed me out before I could get a better look."

The condition of Professor Jones was left at that – a mystery to all students except for the boys, and they didn't even know much. They resolved to watch the man closely and see if his illness, whatever it was, grew worse. They noticed that his pallor was almost as bad as Remus's and for the quickest of moments James, Sirius and Peter suspected that he may have been bitten by a werewolf. Remus put an end to that theory at once, stating how when a person has just been bitten, they are more green than white. Jones appeared to be losing weight and he seemed weary. Still, they could not figure out what was plaguing him and decided it was best if they just ignored it for the time being.

February turned to March and James, Sirius and Peter could be found sitting in the common room on the first, conversing quietly while Remus was at a tutoring session with Lily. Remus was showing quite an improvement in his potion-making abilities, he had not made a potion explode for weeks. They were talking about the upcoming full moon, on the seventeenth, and how they wished they could do something to help their friend. Sirius had told James and Peter a long time ago what it had been like to listen to him transform. This strengthened their desire to aid Remus. As they were sitting in front of the fire, two third years came into the common room, talking loudly about how Professor McGonagall was an Animagus.

"There're only a few," one third year was saying.

"Her name was on the register and she showed us it," the other added.

"It'd be great to be one, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah, but it's hard. A lot of things can go wrong."

The two continued up to the third year boys' dormitory and disappeared out of sight. They had all known the Professor McGonagall was an Animagus; she had the ability to transform into a tabby cat. They hadn't thought much of it initially; it didn't matter to them if she could turn into an animal. If anything, it just made her all the more intimidating. Now, something about this fact struck them as oddly helpful.

Sirius, his eyes alight with mischief, turned to the others. "That's it."

"What is?" Peter asked, bemused.

"Animagi."

James got it before Peter did and he grinned widely. "That's brilliant, Sirius."

"What are you talking about?"

"Why didn't we think of it before?"

"Think of _what_?"

"I dunno, but now that we have it, what are we going to do?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Becoming Animagi, Peter!"

"And why would we do that?"

"Listen." Sirius leaned forward on the table and dropped his voice carefully, making sure that they had no unwelcome listeners. "Werewolves are only dangerous to humans."

"Yeah?" Peter still had no idea where Sirius was going with this.

"Then we become _animals_. Remus won't be able to turn us into werewolves if he bites us then."

"I don't fancy being bitten by a werewolf, animal or not."

"Come on, Peter. It's the perfect idea; maybe it'll even help Remus keep his attention off himself."

"Because it'll be on biting us."

"You wanted to help him, Pete," James said reproachfully. "Sirius has a good idea. Animals relate to other animals. Maybe we would be able to keep Remus calm, so he doesn't hurt himself."

Peter still looked hesitant but, upon seeing the determined looks on his friends' faces, he resignedly nodded. They weren't sure how to bring up the subject to Remus; they were not at all certain he would go for it. Remus would instantly see the dangers of the attempt going wrong. If Remus was conscious of anything, it was safety and oftentimes he placed others' above his own. It was only natural that he would fear everything would go horribly wrong. They had to try. It was too good of an idea to let go by.

James resolved to write to his mother, asking her to use the money he enclosed in the envelope and go to Flourish and Blotts. He had to be very evasive. He had looked it up, asked around, and discovered the Flourish and Blotts had the best selection of books about Animagi in all of Diagon Alley. He, Sirius and Peter decided that they would give whatever book Mrs. Potter picked out to Remus for his birthday. This was the very excuse that James used when he wrote home. He explained that Remus was extremely interested in the subject and wanted to research it. What better way to do so than by getting a present about it for his thirteenth birthday?

When March tenth dawned, James, Sirius and Peter decided that the best way to wake Remus up was to push him sideways off his bed. Frank thought this was a cruel idea, but pointing this out did nothing to deter the boys. At eight o' clock James and Sirius were on one side, and Peter on the other, and when the two pushed, Peter pulled and Remus fell sideways off his bed. For a split second they thought that Remus managed to sleep through the fall, but he moaned angrily and kicked the nearest person, which happened to be Peter. To avoid the outburst that would inevitably follow, James threw the colourful package into Remus's chest.

When he tore open the paper, he was shocked to find a book entitled _Animagi for Beginners_. At first he couldn't quite figure out why his friends would give him this. Then, as he flipped through the pages, realisation dawned and he stared up at the three disbelievingly. Frank was still in the room, so he could not ask them about it at the moment. Instead, he thanked them as wholeheartedly as he could and waited patiently for Frank to vanish down into the common room. Luckily, it only took Frank ten minutes to leave. When the door shut, Remus jumped to his feet and rounded on his friends.

"Are you three mental?" he hissed.

"He took it just like we thought he would!" Sirius observed cheerfully.

"You can get killed."

"Not if we don't do it wrong," James contradicted airily, like it was the easiest thing in the world to explain.

"Do you know how hard it is to do this? That's why they keep tabs on all of the Animagi! You'd have to register at the Ministry and everything."

"Who says we do?" Sirius looked completely unfazed by what Remus had said.

"The _law_ says so, Sirius."

"So?"

"Stop being stupid, James. You know you'd get in trouble. I can't let you do this. I'm not worth you getting chucked into Azkaban."

"Yes you are," the three said automatically.

Even though Remus wanted to get them off this track more than anything, he could not help but feel glad at the thought that they were willing to get thrown in the wizard prison for him. "No one can know you're doing this."

James, Sirius and Peter looked triumphantly at each other. They had done it.

"In that case," Sirius said, stepping forward, "Happy birthday, Remus."

* * *

Remus was returning from watching the Gryffindor team's Quidditch practise. James was still sitting through Hamilton's tactics speech, while Sirius and Peter had been roped into helping Hagrid round up his escaped Kneazles. The castle was fairly quiet, even though there was quite some time before curfew. He had a Potions essay to get to, so he had to hurry to the common room. Remus was inclined to admit, his grades in that class had skyrocketed once Lily began tutoring him. It was true that he was still one of the worst potion brewers in the class, but it was impossible to beat the best. His potions didn't explode anymore, that he was grateful for.

As he rounded the corner leading to the portrait of the Fat Lady, he heard an angry conversation taking place between the Fat Lady and Alice Gordon. Curious, Remus came slowly around and saw that the Fat Lady was refusing Alice entry into the common room because she didn't know the password. The Fat Lady had become notorious, lately, for switching the password two or three times a week. It was no surprise that Alice could not remember the new word.

"Tree bark," Remus said. The Fat Lady swung open and allowed the two inside. Alice smiled gratefully at Remus and it was then that he realised he had not really spoken to the girl since before her father died.

"Thank you," she said. "I didn't think she was ever going to let me in."

"No problem." Remus glanced uneasily around the considerably full common room. "So… err… how are you?"

Alice knew at once what he was referring to. "It's still hard… you know, to realise I'm never going to see my dad again. But it's getting better." She offered him a small smile. "Really, it is."

Remus was quiet for a moment. He could not imagine what Alice was going through. He didn't know what he would do if his own father died. For the longest time, his father had been his best friend. Not knowing exactly what else to say, he said the first question that appeared in his mind. "Your mum? She's doing okay as well?"

"Oh yeah. I was surprised at how well she was taking it. But it was probably just a show for me. She doesn't want me to get upset."

"That's nice of her… I suppose."

"I guess it is, I'd rather she just cry about it in front of me."

Remus bit his lip. "Really?"

Before Alice could say anything else, the door to the common room open and Sirius's voice came, reverberating off the walls. "Oi, Remus!"

Remus and Alice spun around to see Sirius and Peter standing by the entryway, waving furiously at him. Remus bid goodbye to Alice, who looked happy to have had someone to talk to, though only briefly, about her father.

* * *

They weren't sure when or how to begin training. Becoming an Animagus was no easy task, but the thought of Remus never having to hurt himself the way he did was their incentive. They would need to find a place to practise in secret, but their knowledge of the castle was still only limited to that of a second year. They did not know about the many secret rooms and passageway that could be used as their hideout. Sirius had suggested using the Shrieking Shack, but Remus refused, saying that it was too far away. Of course, Sirius knew that his friend really didn't want to spend more time there than he had to.

They couldn't invest their time into worrying about a place to train at the time. One day during breakfast Professor McGonagall came around and passed out sheets of parchment to the Gryffindor second years. They were a list of the possible courses they could study the following year. The boys knew at once that they wanted to study Care of Magical Creatures with Professor Kettleburn. It didn't seem like a difficult class and they needed one where they were guaranteed a pass. Their remaining options – Arithmancy, Ancient Runes, Divination and Muggle Studies – were giving them trouble. Neither boy could agree on their second course. Sirius wanted to take Muggle Studies (another opportune way to peeve his parents). James was leaning towards Ancient Runes, Remus wanted to take Arithmancy, and Peter was keen on Divination. They had always intended on taking all the same classes, but they would have to draw the line here.

In the end, Sirius wound up taking Muggle Studies, Peter took Divination, while James and Remus requested Ancient Runes and Arithmancy respectively. When they handed in their selections to the Transfiguration professor, James, Sirius and Peter could hear Remus mumble that he wished he could drop Potions. Sirius cheerfully reminded him that they were not allowed to drop classes until they were sixth years. Remus had a few more glorious years of his potions boiling over to look forward to. At these words, Remus sped off to remind Lily that he would not be joining her for Potions tutoring – it was a full moon. When Remus went with Madam Pomfrey to the Whomping Willow, the boys sat in the dormitory, crowded on Remus's bed, poring over the Animagi book.

"This is going to take years for us to do," James muttered, running a finger along the sentence he was reading.

"It'll be worth it," Sirius said bracingly, drawing his feet up onto Remus's bed. He still was not able to forget what he had seen in the Shrieking Shack so many months ago. It was a sight he was not sure he would ever be able to repress. He wanted to do something to prevent that from ever happening again. They had their solution. He had said a long time ago in the Leaky Cauldron, when they had first resolved to discover the nature behind Remus's monthly disappearances, that when something was hurting one of them, it was up to the rest to find out what it was. Now that they knew the answer, it was up to them to help the other, no matter what it cost them.


	22. Another Year Ends

Chapter Twenty Two  
Another Year Ends

James's thirteenth birthday dawned on Tuesday, the twenty seventh of March. It was a cold, stormy morning. Rain lashed against the windows and the torches were lit early in the corridors. The wind swirled, noticeable by its incessant whistling and the branches of every tree in the Forbidden Forest being whipped about. Even the Whomping Willow had recoiled under the furious gale. The second year boys' dormitory was freezing, as Sirius had been on a sugar high the night before, having digested more than the suggested amount of chocolate, and had accidentally, or so he said, thrown James's container of daisy roots for Potions out the window. As retaliation for being treated so cruelly, the window refused to mend when Sirius had tried to fix it. Remus had made a makeshift cover for the window with his pillowcase, though it proved a futile effort. The case was drenched within seconds of the first drops of rain.

"I – hate – you - Sirius," Remus snarled through chattering teeth. Remus's bed was closest to the broken window and he was currently being sprayed with water.

"Get off your bed, then," Sirius said, his own teeth clenched together as he feverishly rubbed his arms.

"I'd - love – to - but - I – think - I'm - frozen – like - this." He pulled his blanket over his shoulders and pulled his knees up to his chest. He cast his gaze over to James's bed. The curtains were drawn around it and they had yet to hear James stir. He must have been able to sleep through the cold and raging wind. "Birthday Boy can sleep at least."

"That reminds me." Sirius hopped off his bed and dug for something under his mattress. He withdrew a package and tossed it to Remus. "Sign the card. Peter and I did last night."

Remus crouched forward to shield the card from the rain, sticking his hands out from the folds of his blanket, and opened the card. It contained a rather crude joke of Sirius's, involving a Banshee, a Hippogriff and a Flobberworm. He quickly scrawled his name and threw it back at Sirius. They had been stumped on what to get James. He hadn't hinted on anything in particular. However, one night when they were flipping through Peter's catalogue of Quidditch memorabilia they spotted the uniform of Puddlemere United. It wasn't one that actually belonged to a player, but they could get it personalized for James. They sent away for it and it had been delivered only the morning before.

Peter came out of the bathroom, stepping aside to let Frank in. He threw an angry glare at the broken window, and sat down on his bed. "We should really wake him up."

"You know he's going to complain about going to class on his birthday, like he did last year," Remus pointed out, pulling on a pair of socks. Bending forward, his entire back got sprayed with another gust of rain. "I really hate you, Sirius."

"I love you too, Remus," Sirius laughed, jumping off his bed and trying, once more, to repair the window.

The window still refused to budge, unless Sirius apologised for breaking it. Sirius gave the window a strange look, but apologised. However, when he tried to mend it, it still stayed as it was, claiming that Sirius didn't really mean it.

"Bloody hell!" Remus shouted, waking James up in the process. He was soaked to the skin with rain and wanted it fixed. "He's sorry! He's mental; he can't help the stupid things he does. _Please_ let him fix you, otherwise I'm killing him and breaking you more!" He put a hand to his forehead. "I'm yelling at a window… You!" He pointed an angry finger at Sirius. "If I ever go to therapy, you're the reason."

Sirius, who had no idea what therapy was, looked imploringly at the window. Grudgingly, the window allowed Sirius to fix it. Sirius pocketed his wand and looked in awe at Remus. "You would kill me over a bit of rain?"

"When I get pneumonia, you better watch yourself after I get better."

"What went on while I was sleeping?"

"Quiet, Birthday Boy," Sirius said, tossing James's present across Remus's bed and onto James's. Shrugging off his curiosity, James ripped the packaging open and let out a shout of delight when he saw the shirt inside. "This is awesome, thanks!"

"Sure," Remus said, grinning. "You know, I was thinking of getting one for Sirius so when I kill him, he'll have something nice to wear when they bury him."

"What were you all arguing about?"

"Broken window."

"Enough said."

They did not have much time to celebrate at the moment, as they were running late for class. They had already been late for Transfiguration twice in the past week and McGonagall was hinting detention if they did it a third time. The boys dressed at top speed and made it to the classroom just as Professor McGonagall was calling the class to attention. They spent a rather enjoyable period transfiguring a rat into a drinking glass. James managed to get it on his first try, earning five points for Gryffindor, and spent the rest of the class watching his friends try and achieve their goal. Sirius got it after three tries, Remus succeeded only after poking his rat in the eye with his wand, and Peter ended up sending his rat flying across the room.

Once classes let out for the day and they had had dinner, the boys took to wandering around the corridors in the basement. James had begged them to do something interesting on his birthday, but they did not know what they could do. As they walked down an empty corridor, they noticed the paintings on the walls had become more food-orientated. Intrigued, they continued in their current direction. Surely all the portraits of food meant that the kitchens must be somewhere nearby, but they couldn't see any doorways leading to them. Stumped, the boys stopped and looked around.

"I was so sure," Sirius said disappointedly.

"It has to be around here somewhere," Peter said confidently, leaning against the portrait of a fruit bowl. Suddenly, they heard a high-pitched giggle. "What was that?"

Remus gaped at the portrait. "The pear _laughed_."

"Excuse me?"

Before Remus could repeat himself, the portrait swung forward, almost taking Peter out in the process. The boys were shocked to find themselves standing in the entranceway to the kitchens. All around, they could see the House Elves bustling about, cleaning up after that evening's dinner. They elves didn't appear to notice the boys at first, so they walked about, taking in the thrill of finding the kitchens. There were four tables that must have been directly under the house tables and were filled with the leftovers. The air was scented with that evening's roast and they could smell, very faintly, something made of chocolate.

"How may Twinky help you sirs?" A House Elf had appeared behind the boys and was looking expectantly at them.

"Oh," the boys said, startled.

"Is you boys hungry?"

"I could definitely go for something," James said happily, casting a glance around to see what food was at their disposal.

"James, you just ate half of everyone's dinner and your own," Remus said.

"It's my birthday, I deserve something else."

"Would Master James like a piece of chocolate cake?" the elf offered.

"Sure, thanks!" Twinky buzzed off across the room with another elf and came back moments later with a tray bearing a large piece of chocolate cake.

"That looks bigger than my head," Sirius observed disbelievingly.

"If your head ever turns into chocolate, watch out," James said after a large swallow. The boys spent another fifteen minutes in the kitchens, stocking up on sweets for the coming week. By the time they left the cheerful House Elves, their arms were laden with doughnuts, cakes, and éclairs. Entering the second year dormitory, and tossing Frank a few éclairs in the process, they continued to celebrate James's birthday in as loud a manner as possible.

* * *

As the exams loomed ever nearer, the teachers began piling on the homework. The second years knew to expect this, and at a worse rate as the previous year, but the overall scale of the work caught them by surprise. Professor McGonagall now gave them an essay, a set of questions, and a spell to practise after every Transfiguration lesson. Professor Flitwick was doing much the same, except that he had only one question for them to answer, whereas McGonagall had five to ten. Professor Slughorn had them analysing every ingredient they used in each potion they concocted. Even Professor Binns managed to acknowledge his students long enough to assign them an essay after every lesson. It was madness. In fact, the only teacher who had taken pity on them was Professor Jones.

They were not entirely sure whether this was pity or because of his health. Remus, who had contracted a fever the day after James's birthday, saw the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor in the Hospital Wing, looking worse for wear. Remus did not get an opportunity to inquire about it, as the professor was in and out the door after receiving a potion from the nurse. Madam Pomfrey had kept Remus for a few days and he saw that Jones returned every day to take a new potion. When he reported this to James, Sirius and Peter, they could think of no plausible reason for this other than he must be dreadfully ill. All Jones managed to give them as homework was a chapter to read in their textbooks. He didn't even give them a follow-up essay.

April brought sunny and warmer weather. The boys had taken to studying and lazing about under a beech tree beside the lake. One particular day they had sent Sirius off to find the Golden Snitch that James had lost around Hagrid's hut, or at least that was what he claimed. James had pocketed the Snitch in order to get Sirius away so they could discuss what his birthday present would be.

"He was pretty impressed with my phonograph," Remus mentioned, rubbing his eyes. "But they're expensive."

James, who was not entirely sure what a phonograph was, nodded.

"They play music, James."

"Whatever you say."

"We can save up for that… and give him some records until then."

"What's the point of having them if he can't play them?" Peter asked, looking up from the blade of grass he was tearing.

"It'll get him excited for Christmas."

So on the tenth of April they presented Sirius with a few of Remus's old records that he did not listen to anymore. Sirius took the same stance as Peter, but was grateful nonetheless. He stored them at the bottom of his trunk, certain that his parents would never stumble upon them if they were there. Remus mentioned that his father would be able to put a spell on the phonograph that would disguise it as a particularly large book of Sirius's choosing, and when he wanted to listen to it only he could hear the sound. As they had done on James's birthday, they paid a visit to the kitchens and the House Elves were more than happy to whip something up for Sirius.

* * *

As far as training to become Animagi went, James decided that it would be best if they did not do it in school until they found a suitable practising room. They thought about doing it sometime during the summer, possibly at James's house. The Potter mansion was filled with rooms that were rarely used and it was not likely that Mr. or Mrs. Potter would stumble upon them. And so they decided on meeting at James's during the week after the full moon, when Remus was well enough to join them. They had thumbed through the book and found that their Patronuses, whatever they were, would show them what animal they were most linked with, though it was not always entirely accurate.

With their summer plans set, the boys were now engulfed in studying for their end-of-the-year exams. James and Sirius, who had spent the previous year being obnoxiously loud while their fellow Gryffindors studied, could now be seen poring over their textbooks. The Gryffindor second years could be seen holed up in the common room, practising spells and muttering theories under their breath, their fingers plugged in their ears to block out disruptive noise. Their first exam, which happened to be Potions, was shaping up to be the easiest, as it was only on a Swelling Solution. All of the second years, even Remus, felt that they could successfully brew it.

The students found out only one thing about their exams before they were set to take them. On the morning on May twentieth, Remus returned from his recovery in the Hospital Wing after a particularly nasty full moon, with some deterring news for his friends. He found them sitting in their usual seats at the Gryffindor table and noticed they were in a heated discussion about the properties of Cornish Pixies. Folding his arms across his chest, Remus went over and sat down beside Peter.

"I don't think that's going to matter very much," he said, pushing away the plate of sausages Sirius had placed in front of him. He could still not stomach anything.

"What are you talking about?" James asked, looking up from his History of Magic notes.

"They've sent Jones to St. Mungo's."

Peter dropped his fork with a loud clattering on his plate. "What? Are you serious?"

"I heard Madam Pomfrey telling McGonagall."

"Did they say what was the matter with him?" James asked concernedly.

Remus shook his head. "They just said he's not coming back." He shrugged his shoulders. "I guess we're getting a new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher."

The departure of Professor Jones was officially announced that night by Professor Dumbledore, who only said that it would be better for the man's health if he left the school. This news was met with many said reactions; they had all loved Professor Jones. Unlike the previous year, when the school went into an uproarious cheer at the thought of Crane resigning, now went into a melancholic gloom. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter were starting to wonder if what the seventh years who had helped them in last year's prank had told them was correct – the Defence Against the Dark Arts position was really jinxed.

With one less exam to worry about, the students studying load lessened only somewhat. When time finally came for them to sit their exams, they found that they were not nearly as bad as the professors were making them out to be. Potions proved to be just what Slughorn had prepared them for – a session of brewing a Swelling Solution. The Charms they were tested on turned out to be fairly simple. All Professor McGonagall requested of them was to transfigure their animals into a set of matching water goblets. The students were beginning to suspect that the overall simplicity of them exams was due to Professor Jones's hospitalization and the way it had affected everyone. Whatever the reason, no one could pretend they were ungrateful for this.

Of course there was the Quidditch Final between the age-old rivals, Gryffindor and Slytherin. Both sides had devised a strong, almost impenetrable defence and neither side was willing to back down and let the other achieve victory. Hamilton had been running his team ragged, practising day and night, whenever the Quidditch Pitch was unoccupied. The Slytherin captain, Francis Flint, had the same idea. Both captains wanted the pitch so badly that it erupted into a duel that had to be broken up by the twelve players watching. Professor McGonagall and Professor Slughorn had to remedy this problem and did so by equally dividing the pitch for both teams. The only hitch was that it had to start after the set of three detentions each captain had been assigned.

When the day of the match arrived, the stands were decorated with red and green rosettes. Cheers and boos followed each team member as they were announced. It was clear, however, from the moment that the teams took flight, they were out to kill each other. The referee, Madam Sparks, later commented that she had never seen such a violent match. Hamilton suffered a broken nose, no doubt an intention to impair his vision so he could not see the Snitch. James was almost thrown from his broom, though managed to hold on and only twisting his wrist in the process. The Gryffindor Keeper, Oliver Pulliman, winded a Slytherin Chaser when he missed his intended target with the Quaffle.

Hamilton's broken nose did not prevent him from seeing the shimmering Golden Snitch as it hovered around the commentator's box. Before the Slytherin Seeker, Flint, could even register what was going on, the Snitch was beating its wings against the inside of Hamilton's hand. The game was over; Gryffindor was victorious with a score of two hundred and fifty to one hundred.

With their victory in the Quidditch Final, Gryffindor also won the House Cup, beating out the other houses with a total of four hundred and thirty one points.

* * *

"Pass me a Cauldron Cake, would you, Sirius?"

"How can you eat those? They give me stomachaches."

"I have an iron stomach, Sirius."

"Iron skull, more like, James."

The four boys were sitting in their compartment on the Hogwarts Express, going through the snacks they had bought off the lunch trolley. Sirius threw James three Cauldron Cakes, one of them hitting James on the bridge of his nose.

"Git, you could've broken my glasses."

"Because pudding can do that."

James shoved Sirius in the shoulder and ripped open the wrapper of the cake with his teeth. "So you're all coming to my house?" Sirius and Peter nodded. "No furry little problems?" he added to Remus.

Remus gave James a strange look. "Yeah… no furry little problems. You make it sound like I've got a rabbit that likes to beat me up."

"Well, you _did_ always blame your dog."

Remus ignored that comment. He had already written to his parents and told them that he would be at James's that week. They had not written him back, but he was sure they would let him. "I'll be there, don't worry."

"Good, because practising to become Animagi wouldn't be as fun."

"I don't know how much help I'll be. I'm not the one doing it."

"Can werewolves become Animagi?" Peter asked, breaking the tip off his Licorice Wand.

Remus thought for a moment. He wasn't entirely sure. "I don't think so. We're already forced to become an animal, why would we want to become another? I don't think it's possible."

Peter nodded, chewing on the end of his candy. They passed the remainder of the ride trading Chocolate Frog cards, playing Exploding Snap, and discussing any potential mayhem they could cause in their third year. Sirius and James felt that they had been too quiet that year and were not living up to the title they had earned themselves in their first year after they had driven Professor Crane from the school. True they had pulled of some pranks; they had been far too wrapped up in the mystery of Remus's secret and then learning to deal with it. They could not possibly think of pranks while they were helping their friend.

"We can do more stuff next year," James said, leaning back in his seat and folding his arms across his chest. "Unless anyone else has some dark secret they're not telling us?"

"Oh, wait, I forgot," Sirius said, sitting up suddenly and grinning. "I'm a pixie, didn't think it was important."

"Now that we have that out in the open," Remus said, laughing. "Who wants another match of Exploding Snap?"

"No!"

The Hogwarts Express pulled up to Platform Nine and Three Quarters in the late afternoon. When the boys exited the train, Sirius immediately bid them farewell. Regulus was not too far away and he knew his parents must be close by. They watched as Sirius disappeared through the throng of students and set out to find their own parents. The Potters, the Lupins and the Pettigrews were waiting by the platform entrance and waved their sons over when they spotted them.

"Come on, Remus," Harry Lupin said at once. "We've got to be visiting your grandparents."

"Okay," Remus said, startled. His father was giving him no time to say goodbye to his friends. "See you in a few weeks," he added to James and Peter. Harry led his wife and son through the barrier.

"Just Floo to my house, Pete," James said once the Lupins had gone. "Send me an owl with whatever time you're coming."

The Pettigrews and the Potters went their separate ways once on the other side of the platform barrier and in the Muggle World.


	23. Alley Wanderings and Ghost Stories

Chapter Twenty Three  
Alley Wanderings and Ghost Stories

"So he's not coming?"

"He said he's sorry."

"But you planned it so there weren't any full moons and he'd be able to come. Was he still sick from the last one?"

"No, he looked fine. But he was really distracted and said he didn't have time to talk. He also said not to wait for him to go to Diagon Alley when the booklists come, he won't have time to go with us."

"He won't have time to get his school things with us? That's the only other time we could've seen him."

"That's what he told me."

"Did he at least say _why_ he's not coming?"

"Said it was a family problem, he didn't want to explain." James threw himself backwards on his bed and stared at the ceiling. "That kid has more problems than anyone I've ever met."

"Yeah, but they're not all his fault," Sirius pointed out reproachfully, sitting down at the head of the bed and folding his arms across his chest.

"Wish he could've come," Peter lamented as he took a seat on the floor, drawing his knees up to his chest.

"He left us his Animagus book, though." James jerked his thumb towards his desk and they saw their friend's birthday present lying on top. "That was why he just didn't send me an owl. He Flooed over to give me that, said we should practise even if he isn't here."

Peter stood up to retrieve the book. Flipping through the pages, he sat down in between James and Sirius. "How are we supposed to do this?" he muttered. They knew from the beginning that this would be difficult to master; they may not even get it until after school finished. James and Sirius always managed to do anything they truly set their minds to, but Peter wasn't so sure he would be able to do it. He was not unintelligent by any means; he just had a harder time at accomplishing challenging tasks than his friends did. He knew they would help him. He was not about to be left out on something as exciting as becoming an Animagus.

"My parents will be out tomorrow, and Willie won't bother us," James said, pulling his trainers on. "We can practise in the library." He jumped off his bed and headed to the door. "Come on, Mum said she would let us go to Diagon Alley with her."

Peter set the book down and he and Sirius hurried to follow James out the door, pulling their shoes on as they did so. James's mother was waiting by the fireplace, the bowl of Floo Powder sitting in the palm of her hand. Mrs. Potter had a few errands to run and knew the boys would enjoy going to with her. They could look around while she did her shopping.

When they all emerged on the other side, in the Leaky Cauldron, they saw that, once again, the barroom was considerably empty. Tom the barman grinned wryly at them as he repeatedly rubbed the same spot on the counter with his bar rag. Mrs. Potter led them off to the alley in the back where they were confronted with a seemingly unmoving brick wall. Mrs. Potter tapped the correct brick and the wall part in half, allowing them entrance into the shopping street. Diagon Alley was rather empty, which didn't surprise them in the least. The booklists had yet to arrive and they were only meant with older shoppers or people who just needed to get out of the house.

Mrs. Potter had to pick up a set of books at Flourish and Blotts. She was forever adding to the library and set of books she quite liked had had just been sent to the shop. She left the boys to wander about, and only instructed to meet her in the Leaky Cauldron at four. As Mrs. Potter walked up the cobblestone street the boys stood in the same spot, confused. They didn't know quite where to go. They would usually have to go to the stores where they would get their school supplies, but they had none to get at the moment. Now they were at liberty to go wherever they liked. James immediately suggested Quality Quidditch Supplies. He had heard rumors of a new broomstick model being in and he wanted to check it out.

"You already have a broom," Peter reminded him as they set a course for the shop.

"So, because I have a broom, I can't look?"

"You don't _look_, James. You drool," Sirius mocked, earning a slap on the side of the head. They entered the store and James searched the store for any sign of the new broomstick, only to find none. Peter and Sirius laughed quietly as James's face fell into a state of disappointment. He sulked around the shop for another few minutes before declaring defeat. They exited the shop and were, once again, unsure of where to go. Had there actually been a new broomstick model, it would have killed some time.

Coming out of Quality Quidditch Supplies, the boys made a beeline for Eeylops Owl Emporium. Peter's parents had promised they would get him an owl for his thirteenth birthday and he wanted to get a head start looking, so he could drop obvious hints. A bell tinkled as James pushed the door open and they were met with the quiet hooting of numerous owls of various kinds – Barn, snowy white Scoop. James, who already had the family owl at his disposal and did not want one of his own, spent his time sitting next to a snowy white owl, gently stroking the back of its head. Sirius knew that a personal owl was a far cry from reality, and joined James as they waited for Peter to find one he really liked.

"That one's nice, Pete," James said, nodding towards a brown owl speckled with black. Peter moved towards it for closer inspection. The owl was nice; it had golden eyes that caught the light in a strange fashion. But it wasn't exactly what Peter was looking for. He wove his way further into the store, looking at the owls in the very back. He saw a pitch black owl, which shocked him. He didn't think owls could ever be all black. He had never seen one like it. To contrast its dark feathers were its lightly coloured eyes that stood out extensively. Though initially surprised, Peter took a liking to the owl and decided that this would be the one he would hint to his parents for.

"Hey, let's go to the Magical Menagerie," Sirius suggested as they exited the Emporium. The Magical Menagerie was a pet store but, unlike Eeylops Owl Emporium, it contained more than simply owls. It held everything from magical, dancing rats to large furry cats. As they made their way to the pet store, Sirius's eyes caught a head of sleek blonde hair that was all too familiar to him – Lucius Malfoy. His eyes continued to follow the Slytherin's progress down the street. Malfoy stopped and cast a covert glance at his surroundings, before turning off into a dark side street. It was Knockturn Alley, a street full of shops dedicated solely to the Dark Arts.

"What are you looking at, Sirius?" Peter asked when he noticed Sirius was distracted by something.

"Narcissa's boyfriend," Sirius replied grimly, nodding towards the head of blonde hair, which was still visible in the darkened alleyway.

"Lucius Malfoy?" James said, remembering an occurrence in their first year that involved Malfoy calling Sirius a "disappointment" to the Black Family. The pair had graduated from school the previous year, something for which Sirius was eternally grateful.

"What's he doing down there?" Peter wondered. If someone trekked down Knockturn Alley, it usually meant they were up to no good.

"Are you kidding? That's where he _belongs_." Sirius moved closer to the entrance and glanced over his shoulder at his friends, a mischievous smile playing at his lips. "Let's follow him."

"Are you mad?" Peter hissed. He had no intentions of ever going down that street.

"What's the harm in it?"

"We get caught by some crazy Dark wizards?"

"Don't be such a coward, Peter."

"Hold on," James said suddenly, cutting off Peter's retort. He shoved his hand in his robe pocket and withdrew a silvery cloak. "We'll use the cloak."

"Why do you have that?"

"In case Sirius got the idea to wander down Knockturn Alley, of course." He rolled his eyes. "My dad told me to carry it around with me."

He led the two over towards the entry and, casually checking their surroundings, tossed the cloak over the three of them. They had to crouch lower than usual, as all three of them had grown considerably. They didn't want their feet to be seen. They crept stealthily into the darkened street, sidestepping a grim-looking witch who was muttering madly to herself. Lucius's head was no longer in sight; he must have turned into one of the shops. James and Peter, who were on either side of Sirius and had better views of the stores, peered through the windows. Lucius must have been moving quickly, as he was not in any businesses closest to the entrance.

"There he is," James whispered, pointing into the window of Borgin and Burkes. Lucius's back was to them as he conversed with a slimy man behind the counter. They neared the building and Sirius's hand was on the doorknob before James stopped him. "Too obvious."

Neither of the boys could hear the conversation going on in Borgin and Burkes, but they were sure it was about nothing admirable. All they could do was take in the forbidding décor of the shop. Even if the establishment had not been placed in the middle of a street devoted to the Dark Arts, it would have been painfully obvious where the owner's allegiance laid. The minimal lighting cast a murky glow around, illuminating only the objects it could catch in the light. There were skulls mounted on the cluttered shelves, caskets standing against the walls, cabinets that looked as if they would never let you out if you made the mistake of stepping inside.

Sirius's gaze focused on his cousin's boyfriend and the man behind the counter. It seemed to be an irritated conversation, mostly on the part of the worker. His eyes were dangerously narrowed and his mouth drawn into a tight frown. Lucius must have been talking very low; he was bent forward and the man had inclined his ear. Sirius recalled a time earlier that summer, when Narcissa had brought Lucius by the house; he had spoken to Sirius in a very low, intimidating voice. That must have been the manner in which he was speaking at that moment. When Lucius backed away, he held out his hand, the man taking it only reluctantly. Sirius wished he could see the expression on Lucius's face; it would give him some sort of indication as to what had happened.

"Here he comes," James said, holding out his arm to back Sirius and Peter away from the opening door. Lucius exited the shop, a smug smile etched on his face. He cast another look around and swept up the street and back into Diagon Alley, all the while cleaning his hand on the inside of his robe.

"Where did you three go today?" Mrs. Potter asked curiously when she met the boys at the Leaky Cauldron a few hours later. The boys had spent their remaining time wandering the cobblestone streets aimlessly, talking heatedly about what they had seen. They knew Lucius Malfoy was scum, but they couldn't think of why he was consulting in Knockturn Alley.

"Nowhere really," James replied vaguely. "Went to Eeylops, Quality Quidditch Supplies."

"Did they have the new broom you heard about?"

"No, it was only a rumor."

"Well, come on, then. Your father said he was getting home early today."

The three boys followed Mrs. Potter over to the fireplace, deciding silently that it was best she did not know about their trek into Knockturn Alley.

* * *

The boys sat in the library of James's house, flipping anxiously through the pages of Remus's Animagi book. They started with the Patronus that they had read about at school. It was described as a spell that was well beyond the Ordinary Wizarding Level. They had two years before they would take their O.W.L. exams, how were they to perform this? It didn't sound difficult when written down, but when put into execution it would probably prove to be a challenge. They had to concentrate on the happiest memory they could remember and a silvery substance would erupt from their wands, turning into an animal that related to their personality.

"Wait a moment," James said. "We can't do this."

"Why not?" Sirius asked, frustrated. They had been sitting for an hour, doing nothing except reading a book that was getting them nowhere.

"We can't do magic outside of school!"

"Merlin," Peter muttered, slumping back in his seat. "How are we going to get anywhere?"

"Don't ask me." James slammed the book shut. He stood up and walked around the room, irritated. How were they to make any progress if they could not use their magic outside of school? They couldn't risk being expelled; their efforts would be for nothing. They couldn't help Remus if they were kicked out of school. "Maybe we can just think of anything that would be a happy memory, so we don't have to waste time with that when we try our Patronuses."

And so they did. James dug out the notebook he had used the previous year when they were tracking down Remus's disappearances, and started a new section on their Animagi training sessions. Sirius didn't have to waste any time thinking up his happiest memory. When he was Sorted into Gryffindor rather than Slytherin, nothing could quite beat that moment. James sat a little longer, his quill poised, but his mind at a standstill. He had no significantly terrible experiences to compare the good ones with. He had to sort through his happy memories and finally came upon his first trip on the Hogwarts Express where he met his three best friends. It took Peter even longer to come up with a happy memory, but he decided to go with the first time he successfully transfigured something in school.

"What do we do after we get our Patronus form?" Peter asked Sirius, who was skimming through the book.

"Uh… we brew a potion with the hairs of whatever our animal is," Sirius replied slowly, reading the instructions. "Sounds a bit like a Polyjuice Potion. It's really difficult to brew. I guess James and I will work on that."

"What if we're some really exotic animal that's impossible to find?" James asked playfully.

"I doubt any of us will be a tropical fish. If we were, we'd have a hard time getting hair."

"I fancy myself as a majestic horse." James drew himself up, lifting his chin and placing his hands on his hips.

Sirius snickered at his friend's pathetic pose. "I fancy you as a slimy slug."

"Whatever our form is depends on our personalities," Peter plowed on, diverting James's impending retort. "They put some examples on this page." He pushed the book forward so James and Sirius could get a better look. There were the personality traits listed in a column on the left, and a number of possible animal correspondents on the right. Loyalty was befitting of a dog, slightly touched in the head corresponded with a hummingbird. The boys couldn't pinpoint their perfect match; they could only narrow it down to about fifteen choices each.

James collected the book and tucked it under his arm. "It was worth a shot." He shrugged and led the way back to his room so he could stow the book away until he could give it back to Remus. Remus didn't give a time when he would come back for it; he didn't say much of anything while he was there. James had been sitting by the fireplace, lounging in one of the comfortable armchairs, when the emerald flames unexpectedly erupted under the mantle. Startled, James nearly fell forward onto the floor, but recovered himself long enough to recognise the sandy haired boy that had come stumbling over the grate, covered in soot.

Remus's face was pale and his eyes focusing on everything and nothing. He had never been to the Potters' before, but didn't even seem to take in his new surroundings. He was clutching his book in a vice-like grip, before pushing it into James's arms. He spoke quickly, saying something was going on at home and he was really sorry, but he just couldn't come and visit. He wasn't even supposed to be there at that moment. His parents had no idea. Before James could even get a word out, Remus had gone back through the fireplace and Flooed home. James couldn't understand it, what was happening that caused him to behave like that?

The boys were stumped on what to do. They could not practise becoming Animagi, due to their inability to do magic at the present. Peter would protest playing Quidditch and it was nowhere near warm enough to go swimming at the lake. Sirius was gazing out at the evening sky, purplish and still as twilight fell. Mr. and Mrs. Potter had returned from work and errands, and were in the downstairs. Mrs. Potter was fixing dinner and Mr. Potter was probably reading the paper, or else having a quiet conversation with his wife.

"I have an idea," Sirius said suddenly, breaking his gaze away from the window.

"What?" James asked from his bed.

"Is there any spare wood around here?"

James sat up, looking befuddled. "Out back, why?"

"After dinner, why don't we take any sweet we can put on a stick and roast them over a fire? Tell ghost stories like Muggles do."

"Do you know any good ones?" Peter asked skeptically.

"Of course I do. I've seen pictures of it… I heard some kids who take Muggle Studies talking about it."

"Hey, how do your parents feel about you taking that class?" James asked inquisitively.

"Thrilled… If I keep this up they may blast me off the family tree." Sirius stood up and peered at his two friends. "So are we going to do that or just sit here bored?"

After dinner with James's parents, the boys raided the kitchen for anything they could put on a stick. After fifteen minutes, they made their way to the backyard, their arms laden with Chocolate Frogs, marshmallows, and Cauldron Cakes (only because James begged) and set them down on the grass. James led the way to the area where his father kept the firewood. It was stacked in a neat pile beside the door to the kitchen. The curtains were pulled back from the door and they could see Willie bustling about, doing her nightly scrub. They collected the logs and brought them back to where they had deposited their candy.

"Who can light it?" Peter asked as he put the last log in place.

James volunteered and pulled out a pack of matches he had swiped from the kitchen. Sirius, bewildered, asked why his parents would have matches. James shrugged; sometimes his mother preferred doing things the Muggle way. He struck the match against the box and set the flame to the log nearest to him. The pile erupted, illuminating the dark night sky and giving the area a frightening atmosphere. The boys sat down and began spearing their candy onto their sticks and roasting them over the roaring flame.

"Okay, who's going first?" James asked, blowing furiously on a flame that had found its way onto his Cauldron Cake.

Sirius grinned evilly. "I think I will." He bit off his Chocolate Frog's leg and stood up, pacing around the fire, deep in thought. "Okay, then." He spun around, now standing opposite James and Peter across the fire. "I suppose neither of you have ever wondered about Inferi?" James and Peter shook their heads. "Well, you see, Inferi… they're not very nice little beasts. Reincarnated dead… brought back to life, though not exactly living. They're corpses, you see. If someone's feeling particularly evil… they'll animate the corpses so they can attack poor unsuspecting people. A lot of times they'll go after innocent boys… girls too."

There was a noise that James and Peter couldn't distinguish, but it didn't seem to bother Sirius.

"There was this one time, in Bulgaria I believe, where a town was ravaged by these monsters. It was a dark, calm summer night… very much like this. The town was having a bonfire; having a great time, singing and dancing… eating sweets on sticks… and all of the sudden they had some unwelcome visitors. The Inferi didn't hesitate to rip to shreds anyone who was not nearest to the fire, because Inferi can't stand the light. So it was a real shame when it started raining and the fire was extinguished. No one was safe after that. The night was filled with these innocent peoples' cries as the Inferi ripped them limb from limb." Sirius paused for a moment to take in the terrified faces of his companions. "Anyway, legend goes that the people who died, their spirits still haunt that Bulgarian village. On late summer nights you can still hear their cries. The Inferi that killed them… well, they've moved on. They've traveled far and wide to find new prey. Often they go after people with fires, so the rain can just," Sirius snapped his finger and the fire was out, "put the fire out."

James and Peter jumped out of their seats and ran to the house so quickly that they could not even see what the cause was. Sirius, however, stood happily in his place, laughing loudly beside a short, pointy-eared figure. He held out his hand, which the figure took. "Thanks, Willie. You're the best."

The Potters' House Elf stood beside Sirius, holding an empty bucket. "You is welcome, Master Sirius."


	24. Tackling the Boggart

Chapter Twenty Four  
Tackling the Boggart

Sirius sat in an empty compartment on the Hogwarts Express, gazing out the window at the students who were saying goodbye to their parents. Sirius had not even bothered; his parents were too wrapped up in Regulus to care. Sirius may have been the Black Family _heir_, but Regulus was the Black Family _prince_. He had been given a new broomstick, a Silver Arrows like James's, so he could try out for Slytherin's house team. If Sirius had even asked, he probably would have been laughed at. He managed to slip by his folks, unnoticed, onto the train and left to search out a vacant compartment for when his friends arrived. He had not seen James or Peter since he left the Potters, and he had not seen Remus at all.

He yawned widely and glanced at the door, hoping one of the three would suddenly materialize. He had to admit, he was very much looking forward to his third year. Third year students were permitted to visit the village of Hogsmeade on designated weekends. He had been there only a few times and never really had time to look at the shops he wanted to look at. He had gone into Honeydukes when he went with James and Peter the year before, but they were on a condensed time schedule. Now they were at their leisure. He couldn't wait to get inside Zonko's Joke Shop. He had discussed it with James and Peter and they had come to the conclusion that there would not be a quiet moment left in the castle once they were allowed entrance into Zonko's. The Three Broomsticks was another place he was looking forward to visiting. It was basically the hangout for Hogwarts students who weren't willing to go into the Hog's Head, or did not want to be amongst the lovesick couples in Madam Puddifoot's.

Yes, third year already seemed like it was going to be one of the best years at Hogwarts. He got to start his new classes and learn more interesting topics in his classes. Muggle Studies shouldn't be too hard, and he wanted to see what creatures they would be working with in Care of Magical Creatures. Transfiguration was going to be extremely helpful; he knew this was the year when they would learn about Animagi. Defence Against the Dark Arts was debatable. If they had a good teacher it would be worthwhile. If they had a repeat of first year, there was no point in going to class. He wondered what had ever happened to Professor Jones. He had read the papers countless times to see if he could find anything. It seemed his former professor had not yet succumbed to the illness that was plaguing him.

He was broken out of his reverie by the compartment door sliding open. Remus stepped over the threshold, offered Sirius a small, tired smile, stowed his trunk away, and sat down. Sirius couldn't imagine why his friend looked so tired; the full moon had been weeks ago. Nevertheless, he greeted Remus happily.

"Hey, how've you been?"

"Fine," Remus replied vaguely, cracking his knuckles noisily.

"How was your summer?" The moment the question fell off his lips, Sirius knew it was stupid. James had said that Remus was having problems at home. How else was his summer supposed to be except bad?

Remus, however, did not seem to really register the question. "Good."

"Is everything okay? At your house, I mean?"

Remus finally seemed to come to reality. "Not really."

"Are your parents okay?" Sirius knew that if something ever happened to Remus's parents, he would be devastated.

"Oh, they're okay." He shifted in his seat. "I mean, they're not sick or anything. Just upset… worried."

"About what?"

About what, Sirius did not find out, as James and Peter chose that moment to appear. They both greeted their friends merrily, James sitting down next to Sirius and Peter beside Remus.

"Hey," they said together.

"Hi," Sirius said, while Remus nodded. "So, what happened?" Sirius asked, turning back to Remus.

Remus looked uncomfortable, but answered anyhow. "My grandparents… they got really sick earlier this summer, that was why I couldn't come and visit you three at James's."

"What are they sick with?" James questioned worriedly.

"We're not exactly sure what's wrong with my grandpa and my grandma has some Muggle disease called Cancer." He glanced up from his lap and saw his friends looked shocked – both his grandparents at the same time? "My parents and I were back and forth between St. Mungo's and some Muggle hospital in London."

"I'm sorry, mate," Peter said, unsure of what else he could say.

"Don't be, Pete. You're not the reason they're sick." He slouched back in his seat and yawned. He hadn't gotten much sleep the entire summer. Back and forth between hospitals, two violent transformations that had him in bed for three days after, how was he to get any rest? Then he was also worried about his father. His dad and grandparents had many disagreements – most of them about Remus – but he loved them and couldn't bear the thought of anything bad happening to them. He and his mother had spent a good amount of time trying to cheer his father up, to no avail.

Sirius bit his bottom lip, thinking for a moment before breaking the uncomfortable silence that had fallen. "Hogsmeade? Did you three gets your forms signed?"

"Yeah, the second I got it my mum signed it," James replied. "I can't wait to get in there."

"It's going to be wicked," Peter said excitedly. "Going wherever we want without having to meet our parents."

"When's the first trip usually?" Remus asked; glad to have something new to think about.

"Probably around Halloween," Sirius answered, shrugging. He didn't care when it was, as long as he got to go. "They put up the notices in the common room. Don't you remember seeing them?"

Remus shrugged. He never really paid attention to the notices that he did not need to know. So they had Hogsmeade to look forward to. This would be the first time during the school year he got to visit the village on a night that did not contain a full moon.

"You know, this is the first time we're not going to be in all the same classes," James said.

"It's only one," Peter reminded him. "Doesn't make much of a difference."

"Yeah, but still… Hey, I wonder what classes Evans is taking."

"What do you care?" Sirius laughed. The last time he checked, Lily Evans hated James Potter's very existence.

"Just curious."

"I think she's taking Care of Magical Creatures," Remus said, recalling Lily mentioning it during one of their tutoring sessions. "And Muggle Studies."

"Why on Earth would she be taking _Muggle Studies_? She's a Muggle-born!"

Remus shrugged. "She wanted an easy class." He remembered Lily laughing, saying the Muggle Studies would be no problem, one less class to study for. This was the reason he and his friends were taking Care of Magical Creatures. It didn't require much hard work. He shifted again in his seat. "New Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher again."

"Yeah, I wonder what's going to happen to _this _one," Sirius speculated.

"Maybe they'll fall off a cliff," James mused, feigning thoughtfulness.

"Does anyone know what even happen to Jones?" Peter asked. They had heard nothing of their former professor's condition since Remus brought them the news of the man's transfer to St. Mungo's.

"Oh, yeah," Remus said, suddenly remembering. "He… died, early in August."

James's, Sirius's, and Peter's mouths dropped open at this pronouncement. How could that be? They had not read it in the _Daily Prophet_ and they were fairly certain that the papers would jump on the opportunity to report the death of a former Hogwarts professor. It seemed so strange that he died so suddenly. It was also odd that James had not heard the news before Remus did. His father worked at the hospital, after all.

James was the first to recover from the shock. "Do you know what he died of?"

"I don't know… But, didn't your father tell you? He must have known."

"No, my dad didn't say anything about it."

Remus frowned. "We heard it when we were visiting my grandfather. The Healers were talking about it."

"Did you see him at all?"

"No… we stuck mostly to my grandpa's ward."

As Sirius opened his mouth, undoubtedly to ask another question, he caught James's eye and refrained from doing so. They strongly doubted Remus would want to be reminded of being in a hospital all summer. Instead, they sat in silence, thinking about the passing of their professor. It didn't seem fair that a kind man like Professor Jones had to die, while a horrible man, Professor Crane coming to mind, could live. It was strange how the world operated.

* * *

"I hate Divination!"

"We told you it was going to be a joke."

"But it's just so… I don't even know how to say how bad it is."

"Did you really think you were going to find something in those tea leaves, Pete?"

"Shut up, James."

The boys were sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, just tucking into their lunch. The class before had been their electives, in which the four boys had been separated as they went to their own classes. Peter was currently ranting about how terrible Divination was, and thoroughly regretting that he did not listen to his friends' warnings the previous year. They had heard from the older students that Divination was a class best left avoided.

Peter moodily stabbed at his stew, not realising there was no point in doing so. "How were your classes?"

"Muggle Studies is great, but weird. Muggles have to do everything the hard way," Sirius said, looking awed.

"It's not the hard way for them," Remus said, looking up from his plate of steak and kidney pie. "Arithmancy is great."

"What do you do?" Peter asked, hoping it wasn't as interesting as Remus thought. Divination couldn't have been the worst class in the school.

"Right now, we're using the number and letter charts to find out what our Life Numbers are." He looked at James. "How's Ancient Runes?"

"Not bad," James said, pulling the bowl of stew away from Peter. "Save some for the rest of us. You're starting to act like Sirius."

Sirius, whose plate was piled three feet high, looked away innocently. "Anyway, I can't wait for Care of Magical Creatures."

"What do you think Kettleburn's going to do with us?" Remus asked, shifting through the books in his bag.

"Probably something huge… like Hippogriffs," James joked.

"I think Hagrid would do that, not Kettleburn," Sirius said, weeding through the massive amount of food on his plate. He picked out a sausage and stuffed it into his mouth. "Bud be don hab it umtil Bursday."

"You know what's sad?"

"What, James?" Peter asked, glaring angrily at his Divination book.

"I actually understood that."

Sirius swallowed with great difficulty. "What do we have next?"

Remus consulted his timetable. "Defence Against the Dark Arts." He set the chart down. "That Handlin bloke didn't look too bad." The man had a friendly smile for the students when Professor Dumbledore introduced him. Professor Jones had done the same the previous year. Professor Crane only sneered at them. When they finished their lunch they headed to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom where they were joined by their fellow Gryffindor and Hufflepuff third years. Professor Handlin was sitting at his desk, reading, and looked up when his students entered.

"Good afternoon," he said pleasantly. "Would you mind putting your books away? We will be heading to the dungeons." The class exchanged curious looks; why would he be taking them there? This was Defence Against the Dark Arts, not Potions. Still, they packed up their books and followed Professor Handlin out of the room. The students whispered excitedly as they passed through the vacant corridors, down through the Entrance Hall and into the dungeons. Handlin did not take them towards Slughorn's classroom; instead he veered off and brought them to a large encasement.

"What's that?" Allison Abbot asked.

It was an elaborately designed case, decorated with slithering snakes and shimmering emeralds. Professor Handlin ran a hand along the side of it. "It's a cabinet, but what _that_ is, is not important. It's what's inside that we are concerned with." And the cabinet shook violently. "Don't be startled."

"What's inside?" Alice Gordon asked apprehensively.

"A Boggart."

"I think that's something to worry about," Sirius hissed in Remus's ear. So did many other students. Peter was now giving the cabinet a wary look, as though it might attack at any moment. Allison Abbot also appeared to think that a Boggart gave sufficient worry. Some students, like Lily Evans, didn't know what a Boggart was and, therefore, did not know what everyone was so scared of.

Professor Handlin rubbed his hands together and surveyed the class. "Now, Boggarts are shape shifters. They will take the shape of whatever frightens the person closest to it. It could turn into a giant snake… a banshee… anything that you may find terrifying. We have an advantage over this particular Boggart, as we are standing in a group. The Boggart will not be able to decide what shape it would assume. Who knows why this is an advantage?"

James's hand shot up in the air.

"James."

"It'll probably try to turn into more than one thing and that wouldn't be very scary."

"Exactly. Ten points to Gryffindor. In fact, should a Boggart attempt such a feat, it will turn into something quite amusing and that is the way we repel Boggarts. With laughter." He raised his wand slightly. "Will you all repeat after me? _Riddikulus_." The class repeated the incantation. "Very good. However, the incantation is not all you will need. You must think of whatever frightens you the most and turn it into something funny, something that will make you laugh. Will you all please do so right now?"

The class went quiet as every screwed their eyes shut, thinking rapidly for what they feared the most. It was rather obvious for many, their worst fears instantly coming to mind. Some, like James, had a little more difficulty, but managed to come to a decision in the end. When the class was ready, they fell to the back of the room while Handlin decided who he should call up first.

"Let's see now… Sirius Black, why don't you come up first?"

Sirius looked surprised at being called first, but strode to the front, determined. He faced the cabinet and Professor Handlin tapped the knob. The door burst open and out stepped a giant whose head scraped the ceiling as it crouched over. Sirius raised his wand. "_Riddikulus!_" There was a loud _crack_ and the giant was now the size of a mouse. The class roared with laughter.

"Good job, Sirius," Handlin commended. "Now the Boggart will turn its attention to the rest of us. Remus Lupin, come forward."

Remus clapped Sirius on the shoulder as they passed. The Boggart rounded on Remus and with another loud _crack_ the mouse disappeared and was replaced with a silvery orb hovering in mid air. The class watched as Remus stayed frozen for moments, before saying, "_Riddikulus!_" The orb disappeared and a white balloon deflated, flying around the classroom as the students laughed appreciatively.

"Wonderful!" Handlin laughed.

The Boggart became a banshee, wailing loudly. _Crack_. The banshee now had a clothespin attached to its mouth. _Crack_. The Boggart now became a sphinx, rearing its head. _Crack_. The sphinx was now a kitten, purring.

"It's confused," Handlin told the class. "James Potter, your turn."

James, frowning slightly, stepped forward as Lily Evans returned to her place in line. Ever since he had been a small boy and had seen pictures of them, James had been terrified of Dementors, the guards of the wizard prison, Azkaban. He had never encountered one, and doubted he would be severely affected by them, but that did not stop him from being scared. The Boggart found James and with another _crack_ it became a black, hooded figure.

The room went cold. James had an idea of what he was going to turn it into, but he couldn't remember. His mind had gone foggy. What had it been? The Dementor drew closer to James, who stepped back slowly. The room was eerily quiet, so much so until Peter's voice broke through.

"Professor!"

Professor Handlin stepped in front of James and the Boggart turned on him instead. James did not linger to see what it turned into when it saw Handlin; he wanted to see why Peter had shouted. He didn't see until Handlin cleared through the crowd of students.

"Don't worry, he'll be alright," Handlin was saying, stooping down onto his knees. James peered around the professor and saw that Remus was slumped against the wall, his face a pasty white, seemingly coming out of a doze. "Move back," Handlin said to the students. "Give him room to breathe." He fished for something in his pocket. "Eat this." Remus groggily took whatever it was Handlin had given him and bit off a small piece. "Come on, stand up now." He helped Remus to his feet. "Let's see… five points to everyone who fought the Boggart. Class dismissed."

The class began dispersing, except for James, Sirius and Peter, who moved toward Remus instead of the exit of the dungeons. "What happened to you?" James asked concernedly.

"I don't know," Remus mumbled, his eyes wide, biting off another piece of the chocolate the professor had given him. "I heard _things_ in my head and I think I passed out."

"It was the Dementor," Handlin said from behind them. "Even in Boggart form, it has the effects of a real one. They make people relive their worst memories. Some are affected more than others, depending on what has happened to them. It's understandable why it affected _you_ in such a way." He peered closely at his student. "Are you alright?"

Remus nodded, staring down at the floor. "I'll be fine." He slung his book bag over his shoulder. "C'mon."

Defence Against the Dark Arts was their last class of the day, so when they emerged into the Entrance Hall they saw flocks of students heading to the Great Hall for dinner. Remus, who was not hungry, turned away from the dining hall and headed for Gryffindor Tower. Sirius nodded James and Peter on, saying he would catch up with them later. James and Peter hesitated, but Sirius had already turned and followed Remus up to the common room. Remus covered ground fast and was already a good way ahead of Sirius. He probably wanted to avoid the questions of those who had seen him in Defence Against the Dark Arts.

Sirius emerged in the boys' dormitory just as Frank was leaving to go down to dinner.

"Is he alright?" Frank whispered to Sirius.

"Yeah, he'll be fine." Sirius stepped aside, letting Frank through, and found Remus sitting on his bed, scrawling out a letter. His brow was furrowed and his hand moving oddly fast for someone who had just collapsed. "You okay?" Sirius asked, sitting down beside his friend.

Remus nodded, his writing now ceasing. "I just… needed to write to my dad."

Sirius knew what Remus was telling his father; Mr. Lupin would want to know what happened. "Remus… what did you hear?"

Remus's quill paused in mid-sentence. "Myself."

"Doing what?"

"Yelling… I think it was the night I was bitten." He finished the sentence in his letter and folded it. "I don't ever want to hear that again. Once was enough."

"Can't blame you for that." Remus knew that Sirius had followed him to the Shrieking Shack when they were trying to confirm that he was a werewolf. He had rarely ever seen him right after the transformation was over, not even when he had stayed at the Lupins' over Christmas. He knew what the screaming was like; he knew why Remus would never want to hear it again.

"Everyone probably thinks I'm crazy, don't they?"

"No, they were just worried." Sirius chanced joking. "But if the Slytherins had been there…"

"Thank Merlin they weren't." He tied the folded letter together with some string he had been knotting around his fingers. "I'm going to go up to the Owlery."

"I'm going down to dinner." Sirius stood up, rubbing his growling stomach.

"How on Earth could you be hungry? You ate the entire table for lunch."

"I have an iron stomach."

"Iron skull…"

"I heard that."

"I meant you to."

The boys separated as Sirius went down and Remus up. Remus was not hungry, and he doubted there would be any food left by the time Sirius got to it anyway. The chocolate had made him full and he didn't feel like sitting in the Great Hall. News traveled fast in Hogwarts and it was only a matter of time before the wrong ears heard about what had happened in Handlin's class. He could only imagine the looks on the Slytherins' faces, soon they would all be wondering why Remus Lupin fainted in front of a Dementor. Sirius was right; it was a good thing the Slytherins had not actually been there.

The Owlery was filled with the incessant hooting of the owls as they slept or communicated in their language unknown to humans. He manoeuvered his way through the straw and droppings on the floor, searching for an owl to send his letter. At the far end of the Owlery was a Barn Owl, looking rather lonely and bored. Remus wove his way around to the owl, who readily held out his leg. The owl nipped his finger once the letter was attached and swept off into the late afternoon sky. Remus watched the owl as it became nothing more than a speck, and was broken out of his gaze by the door opening and closing.

"Oh, hullo, Remus."

"Hey, Lily."

Lily was holding a colourful package, searching for an owl large enough to carry it. "My dad's birthday is this weekend," she explained. "I wanted to make sure it got home on time."

"Happy birthday to your dad, then."

Lily grinned. "He hates being reminded it's his birthday. He hates ageing." She spotted an appropriate owl high above in the rafters. She coaxed it down by producing a handful of food. "Are you feeling better?" she asked as she allowed the owl to peck the food out of her palm.

"Yeah, Handlin gave me something for it."

"That was scary, what happened. Do you know why you… fainted?"

"Dementors… they make people relive their worst memories." He hesitated, he wasn't sure if he wanted her to know more than that. Lily, however, seemed to guess what was coming next.

"And sometimes they're so bad no one can take it?"

"Basically."

Lily finished tying the package to the owl and sent him off. "At least you probably won't be coming across any Dementors again," she told him optimistically.

"Hopefully."

"Well, I'm going to go down to dinner, unless Sirius has eaten everything."

Remus laughed. "He just went down, you don't have a hope."


	25. The Room of Requirement

Chapter Twenty Five  
The Room of Requirement

"What's the matter, Lupin? Afraid of the big, bad Dementor?"

"Sod off, Rosier."

"Don't let the Dementors hear you talking like that. They don't like foul language."

"Because you're such good friends with them, of course you'd know that."

"Better keep that attitude of yours down. None of us wants to see you _faint_ again."

"Bugger off."

"I wonder what could have been so bad that made you lose it like that… Maybe it was you realising you've got a filthy _Muggle_ for a mother, or that your father-"

"Shut up!" Remus had been trying, unsuccessfully, for the past fifteen minutes to shake off Evan Rosier, a Slytherin third year and friend of Severus Snape. He had been right when he assumed that word would spread fast and reach the wrong ears sooner than he would have liked. The taunting generated primarily from the Slytherins, as he suspected, but he was also surprised to find a few ridiculers in the other houses, only it was mainly the older students. He had not come in close contact with any of the mockers until now, and he was on his last nerve.

"Are you going to hex me, Lupin?" Rosier laughed derisively, his eyes resting on Remus's drawn wand.

Remus knew it was stupid to hex someone in the middle of the hallway where a teacher could walk by at any given moment, but he was too incensed to care. These people had no idea what they were talking about; they didn't know what he had heard when the Dementor appeared. If they did… if they did he would be in a worse position than he was. No Slytherin would take pity on him because he heard his own screams as the werewolf in his head closed in. But he didn't care about that at the moment; he just wanted to hurt Rosier.

"If you were going to hex me, you would've done it by now," Rosier hissed.

"Get out of here," Remus snarled. He had expected the Slytherin to laugh, and he did, but he had not expected him to actually listen. Remus could not pretend he was ungrateful. Rosier saw that he was not looking for a fight. Remus stared at the Slytherin's back as it wove its way through the crowd of oncoming students. How many more encounters like that was he going to have before people grew tired of it? Ten minutes later he climbed through the portrait hole and spotted Sirius sitting by the fire, tossing a balled up sock.

"Where're James and Peter?" he asked as he sat down.

"James is at Quidditch practise and Peter's in detention," Sirius replied lazily.

"Filch is finally getting payback for Peter hexing his cleaning supplies to clean _him_?"

Sirius nodded. "He's enjoying it too; I think he has Pete cleaning the entire dungeon with a toothbrush. Actually, I think it's _Filch's_ toothbrush."

"Poor Peter."

"Yeah, he's going to be sore tomorrow, not to mention sick. Where were you?"

"Getting something for my headache."

"But it's not for a few days."

Remus did not have to ask what _it_ was referring to. "I know, but they haven't been very good lately. I've been getting sick sooner."

Sirius shoved the socks in his pocket. "D'you know why?"

"I thought over the summer it was just because I wasn't getting a lot of sleep. Maybe it's just part of getting older… I dunno."

An awkward silence fell, in which Sirius tried to break, thinking of the most random topic he could. "You know… those records you three gave me for my birthday, am I ever going to get to listen to them?"

"Yes… you'll just have to wait a bit more; we've almost got all the money."

"Good, I was getting tired of just looking at black wheels that do nothing."

"They're not _wheels_. Honestly, _you're_ the one taking Muggle Studies."

"Well, _you're_ the one who grew up with a Muggle for a mother _and_ your grandmum's a Muggle too." Remus gave a jerk of the head, which Sirius took as a nod. Any mention of his friend's grandparents, no matter what it was about, was not a smart move. "Err… how are they anyway, your grandparents?"

"Fine, they're fine." Remus stood up and hurried to the dormitory steps. "I have to go finish some homework. See you later."

"Yeah, see you." Sirius knew it was understandable for Remus to worry about his grandparents, even though they hadn't tried until recently to be a part of his life. Sirius couldn't imagine what it was like to actually have family members that would make him upset if something bad happened to them. He supposed it must feel nice, even if pain had to be endured. To have known someone for a long time, to get to know them, it would be sad to see them leave the world, but he would have memories. Good memories. He wondered that if any of his relatives were to die, would he be as upset as Remus would be when his grandparents finally passed on? There was his great uncle, Alphard. He was always nice to him; he supposed that he would be sad when his great uncle died.

Family was never something Sirius understood. He doubted he would very soon, and he often wondered if he ever would.

* * *

Animagus training was proving to be unachievable, so far out of their reach that it appeared an almost impossible feat. They could not practise just _anywhere_. They couldn't risk getting caught. What they were doing was illegal. There would be no point in them even trying if they were going to have the professors catch them. It would be pointless. They need to find a room that no one knew about. The Shrieking Shack was out of the question, they knew this already. Even though the Shack was off limits, Peter suggested using the tunnel leading to it, which Remus shot down just as quickly as he had the tunnel's destination. Their predicament was frustrating on many levels, though none more than when Remus departed for his first full moon of the year and they could not be there with him.

The full moon fell on Wednesday, the twelfth of September. It seemed that Remus was right when he said that his transformations would get worse as he got older. During his second year, the only truly terrible transformation he had was when he and his friends were not speaking. This time, however, he was fighting with nobody. True, he was still a little agitated by the snide remarks the Slytherins were throwing at him, but that was nothing. James, Sirius nor Peter could wake him up, not even after Sirius got it into his head to flip Remus's mattress over while he was still on it. He slept on soundly on the floor until they picked him up and fixed his bed. From what they could see, Remus appeared to be extremely warm and was covered in sweat as he continued to sleep, oblivious to whatever was going on around him.

Finally, after spending the better part of fifteen minutes attempting, the boys left Remus to his sleep and went on to class. They knew they were going to have to start training soon. They would all be maturing in a matter of time and it would have a worse toll on their friend than it would on them. If they could accompany him it wouldn't be so bad. He wouldn't have to hurt himself the way he did. But they couldn't think of where to train. This was all that was preventing them from starting. They couldn't use a spare classroom. There was too much of a risk that they would be caught by a professor. James had once suggested using the Forbidden Forest, but Peter quickly dismissed that notion. He didn't fancy being at the mercy of the forest creatures.

Their predicament was frustrating on many scales. They didn't want to see their friend hurt anymore, but they were doing nothing except stressing themselves out over finding the perfect training spot. They combed the castle while Remus was away, searching every potential area. They had uncovered the kitchens the previous year, why could they not find another secret? True, the castle was expansive; it would be near impossible, or at least very difficult, to come upon another unknown passage again. The professors would get suspicious if they saw the boys repeatedly at random parts of the castle. Where could they work?

Late afternoon on Thursday, after bringing a recovering Remus some chocolate they had nicked from the kitchens, James, Sirius and Peter continued their still fruitless search. Their search brought them up on one end of the seventh floor, near the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy.

"This is hopeless," Peter moaned as they walked back and forth before the painting, bickering about whether to head back to the common room or not.

"It is not, Peter," Sirius said warningly, glaring sideways at his friend. If Peter had a problem with it, he should have gone back.

Peter seemed to notice Sirius's agitation. "I mean, where are we not looking? We've gone through almost the entire castle."

"I doubt that," James said as they wheeled around and walked the same path. "This castle is so huge; I bet there are places _Dumbledore_ doesn't even know about."

"Like that?" Sirius said, stopping short. James and Peter turned to what Sirius was pointing at. It was a large wooden door that had not been there while they had been pacing back and forth.

"Where did _that_ come from?" James wondered, running his hand along the wood as if it might disappear if he didn't.

"It just… came out of nowhere." Sirius jerked his head at James, signaling for him to open it and see what was inside.

Hesitating only slightly, James turned the knob and pushed the door open. Inside was what very much resembled the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, yet there were no desks, nor was there any sign of Professor Handlin. For a moment, the boys thought they had stumbled on another entrance to a classroom. There was a large clearing in the centre and at the edges were comfortable cushions. Bookshelves lined the walls, filled to the maximum capacity with books whose titles they could not see from their distance. There were a number of cauldrons stored at the back, with almost all of the ingredients they could fathom.

"We've struck Galleons," James said, leading the way into the room.

* * *

"So, what exactly is this place?"

"We told you, it's our place for Animagus training."

"And it just appeared out of nowhere, a door just came out of the wall?"

"You say that like it's so unbelievable, Remus. A _pear_ laughed just because Peter leaned against it and it became the kitchens. A door come out of nowhere isn't so strange."

The boys were filling Remus in on their recent discovery. After searching out the room and making sure that it was definitely not a mirage, the boys hightailed it back to Gryffindor Tower to fill their friend in on everything. Remus was annoyingly sceptical at first, repeating over and over that it was insane they had not found this room sooner. Yet he was slowly coming around. They sat, piled on Remus's bed, flipping noisily through the pages in Remus's Animagus book.

"When are we going to start?" Remus asked eagerly. Now that they had a place, what was stopping them?

"Whenever you get better," Peter replied, running his finger along the sentence he was reading.

"I'll be fine by tomorrow." This was not entirely true. His transformation the night before had been terrible and Madam Pomfrey was stressing that he remain in bed for another day at the least.

"We can wait another day, Remus," James insisted. He did not want his friend prolonging his recovery just because he refused to listen to the nurse.

"You can start without me."

"What's the point in that?" Sirius said. "You're the one who's going to tell us what to do."

"You don't really need me for that."

James scoffed. "You think _we're_ going to actually read it?"

Sirius shook his head. "No way, mate. We need your brain for this."

Remus rolled his eyes, exasperated. "Fine… I'll be better by tomorrow."

The following day the boys headed for the portrait of Barnabas the Barmy and stood before the wall across from it. The door had gone. Remus gave them a look that clearly asked where the alleged door was, and they had no answer for it. They were not mental. There was no way the three of them could have had the same hallucination. Or could they have? After all, they were at Hogwarts, the place where painted pears laughed and portraits purposely tried to get students lost. Was it possible that they had only imagined the room? It just seemed so unlikely.

"You dragged me out for this?" Remus asked, folding his arms across his chest and staring at his pacing friends.

"Hey, we didn't _drag_ you out, you came willingly," Sirius corrected. Remus was still not looking well, the bruises on his white face stood out exceptionally and he was having a difficult time walking. But he had gotten out of his bed on his own accord and went with them to find the room after classes.

"I swear there was a door right there." James pointed an irritated finger at the wall as he passed by it.

"Well it seems to have gotten up and walked away," Remus told him, heading back towards Gryffindor Tower.

"Wait! Remus, get back here!" Sirius was gaping at the wall.

"What?" Remus turned to see what Sirius was staring at. Clearly the boys had not been having delusions. There stood the door that James, Sirius and Peter had stumbled on the day before. They were still not sure of how it was there one moment and gone the next, but they didn't waste their time dwelling on it. It was time to start training. The room was arranged the same as it had been the previous day. The same books were in the same spots on the same shelves, the chairs and desks had not moved. They knew they had found their destination.

The boys dropped their bags on one of the armchairs, while Remus knelt down and fished through his bag for the book. He found it crushed under his Transfiguration and Potions books and placed it on the table, flipping open to the first helpful page. He quickly read what had to be done and noticed that these instructions seemed oddly informative to his Dementor problem. It was even mentioned in the book that Patronus Charms were generally used to repel Dementors. He had to find a happy thought, the most joy-inspiring memory he could conjure. It wouldn't hurt if he tried this along with his friends; he never wanted to experience the repercussions of an encounter with a Dementor again.

"Okay," he said finally, looking up at the three. "You know what to do with the Patronuses, don't you?"

James nodded. "We haven't actually tried yet, since we couldn't do magic at my house." He pulled his wand out and cleared his throat, concentrating all his thoughts onto the day he met his three best friends. "_Expecto Patronum!_" Nothing happened. "Bloody hell."

"Let me try." Sirius raised his wand, focusing his mind on getting Sorted into Gryffindor. "_Expecto Patronum!_" The same thing happened that had with James – nothing.

"You're not concentrating hard enough," Remus said, watching them from his seat. "You give it a try, Pete."

Peter stayed where he was. If James and Sirius couldn't get it, what made Remus think that _he_, Peter, could? Still, he had to give it a shot. He knew his memory, successfully accomplishing Transfiguration, was not the happiest recollection he had. He just couldn't think of anything else. "_Expecto Patronum!_" Once again, nothing happened.

"It's supposed to be really hard," Remus told them encouragingly. "It'd be amazing if you got even a little bit of sparks."

"You do it, Remus," Sirius said suddenly.

"What? Why me?"

"Because you could probably do it. Come on, just one try."

Remus got to his feet, pulling his wand out of his back pocket. He bit his bottom lip; he was not at all prepared to give an attempt. But this would help him. He wouldn't have to fear Dementors if he could produce a Patronus. Maybe Sirius knew this and that was why he wanted him to try. He knew the happiest memory of his life; it had come weeks after his friends had abandoned him. It was the moment they truly accepted him for what he was. They had announced that they did not think of him as a monster. He focused every bit of himself on that moment, the exact words of his friends. He could feel the joyful sensation erupting in the pit of his stomach.

"_Expecto Patronum!_" A jet of silver fell out of his wand, vaguely taking the form of a wolf before it vanished. James, Sirius and Peter stood in astonishment, staring, mesmerized at the spot where the Patronus had just been. Remus was staring as well, his expression very much resembling that of his friends'.

"How did you do that?" Peter asked, amazed.

Remus shook his head. "I don't know." How had he managed to produce a Patronus, even the quickest of ones? James and Sirius, who were better wizards than he, did not get it. He hadn't even thought he would get it; he was just trying to see if he could.

"That has to be the fastest anyone has ever gotten the spell," James marveled. "You've always been good at Defence Against the Dark Arts."

"Yeah, but not _that_ good," Remus contradicted, his eyes still resting on the now gone Patronus.

"If _you_ can do it… help _us_," Peter begged.

"I don't know _how_ I did it, how could I help you?"

Peter had no answer for this. Despite their failed first attempts, the boys did not give up. Remus offered whatever advice he could, making most of it up. He hadn't the foggiest idea of how he had done it on his first try. He was convinced that it was luck. Sirius told him that it couldn't possibly be luck. Luck had no bearing when it came to magical ability, it was either you knew it or you didn't. They kept at it for another hour and a half, neglecting the fact that they had a rather ominous pile of homework awaiting them when they returned to the common room. Remus had brought his along and was getting sentences into his essays when he wasn't helping his friends.

Sometime during this hour and a half, James yelled out, "I got something!" startling Sirius and Peter and awaking a sleeping Remus. A wisp of silver fell out of James's wand, disappearing before any of the boys could even witness it. "It's gone, but I _swear_ there was something."

"That's b-brilliant, J-James," Remus said through a yawn.

James beamed at his accomplishment. It had not been a true Patronus, he could distinguish no form. But it had been _something_.

"Why don't you go back to the common room, Remus?" Sirius was saying as James basked in the glory of his achievement. "You don't look well."

"I'm just tired," Remus replied, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "I want to help."

"You've been sleeping for the past half hour. How are you going to help? Snore at us?"

"I don't snore."

"Yes you do. You broke Peter's concentration and mine. Come on, just go get some rest."

"I have homework."

"That you aren't doing." Sirius stooped down, picked up Remus's bag, and shoved it into his friend's chest. "Go get some sleep now, before I go and break all your bloody records and dance on the pieces."

Remus blinked. "What?"

"Just go to sleep before he starts sounding dumber," James said as Sirius opened his mouth again.

Remus knew there was no point in arguing, especially since he really did want to go to sleep. His head was pounding and he knew the best thing to do was to sleep it off; he would feel better the next morning. He slung his bag over his shoulder and trudged out of the room, leaving his friends to finish their training.

When he was sure that Remus was gone, Sirius turned to James and Peter. "You see, that's exactly why we need to get this. James, you managed to get a bit of the Patronus, but that's not enough."

"I know it's not," James said reassuringly. "We'll get it. It just takes time, he knows that."

"You don't get it, James. Neither of you do. You've never seen him right after it happens, I have. It's something I never want to see again and I don't want him to have to go through it again. You should have seen what it was like at his house. It hurts his parents. They can't do anything about it. They're not going to become Animagi; the thought has probably never crossed their minds. If they can't help him, we have to."

"That's exactly why we're doing this, Sirius," Peter reminded him. "We don't like it either. We may have not seen him right after he's back to normal, but we know it's bad."

"I just… don't want it to take forever to get."

James nodded; he understood just what Sirius meant. "We don't either, mate."


	26. Hogsmeade

Chapter Twenty Six  
Hogsmeade

"Sirius, get back here."

"No way, I'm getting him good."

"He wasn't doing anything to you."

"He was breathing, that's good enough."

Remus caught up to Sirius, who was tailing his brother all the way down to the dungeons. Remus had not been entirely truthful when he said that Regulus had done nothing to Sirius. He had not done anything on that particular day, but he had during the week. The youngest Black had written home to inform his parents of Sirius's latest escapades. Sirius's behaviour included hospitalizing Severus Snape and Abrac Zabini. It was supposed to be an innocent prank, or at least as innocent as they could have made it. It backfired… Snape and Zabini were now in the care of Madam Pomfrey with noses that were long enough to compete with Pinocchio. The boys were serving a week of detention and Mr. and Mrs. Black were not pleased with their son. Sirius really didn't mind that they were mad; he just didn't feel like hearing them at home.

"Sirius, you can't hurt your brother."

"Who says I can't?"

"I'm sure a lot of people would back me up on this." When Sirius didn't look convinced, Remus added, "McGonagall's already hinting about banning you from the Hogsmeade trip if you keep this up."

The first Hogsmeade trip of the year fell on October the twenty eighth. Every student, third year and up (but predominantly the third years), was looking forward to this more than anything else. Remus knew that Sirius would not want to miss this for something as stupid as an easily avoided detention. Sirius relaxed his grip on his wand and let his arm fall to his side. He glanced up the corridor and saw that Regulus had successfully escaped, though he had no idea that he was being tailed. Angrily, he rounded on Remus.

"Happy now?"

"At least you're not going to miss the Hogsmeade trip now," Remus shot back irritably.

"It would've been fun to see what I could do to him."

"Of course, loads of fun. I know you hate your family, Sirius, but sometimes you push it a bit."

"Because you know all about what it's like having annoying, suck ups for siblings."

Something flashed behind Remus's eyes that made Sirius take a cautious step back. "You're right, Sirius, I don't. But, in case you haven't noticed, it's because of me that my parents decided not to have any more kids. I'd rather have an annoying brother than have none at all."

Sirius frowned; he hadn't meant what he said to come out the way it had. "You know I didn't mean it like that."

"I know you didn't. I've just been… well, you know."

Sirius did know what his friend was talking about. Earlier in the week Remus had received a letter from his father, saying that his grandparents were not getting any better. The Healers still didn't know what was wrong with his grandfather, and his grandmother was faring no better. Mr. Lupin didn't come right out and say it, but Remus knew that his grandparents didn't have much time left. James, Sirius and Peter had been avoiding the subject as best as they could.

Sirius sighed and replaced his wand in his pocket. "How about this – I won't hex my brother for another three weeks?"

Remus grinned slightly. "You'll probably forget by then."

"Do you doubt my memory skills?"

"I would if there were any to doubt."

"Mr. Lupin, I am insulted." The alarm on Sirius's watch went off. "Come on, detention awaits! Let's make James and Peter scrub the cauldrons this time. I'm not going near any after I found a rat spleen in that one."

* * *

The morning of October the twenty eighth dawned sunny, but with a vicious chill in the air. The five boys in Gryffindor's third year dormitory were up before Frank's alarm clock sounded; each of them was far too eager for the trip to think about sleeping. They waited, rather impatiently, in the dormitory before deciding that it was time to go to breakfast. They collected their cloaks, filling their pockets with whatever money they could find, and headed down to the Great Hall. The Great Hall was packed with students chatting happily about the day's trip. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter were sitting in their usual seats at the Gryffindor table, mapping out their day's activities.

They wanted to hit Zonko's Joke Shop and stock up on their prank supplies. Dervish and Banges was another establishment they hoped to visit. Honeydukes was on their list. They couldn't possibly go to Hogsmeade without taking advantage of the sweet shop. They had heard from the older students about the local pub, the Three Broomsticks. It was a good place to stop by when the weather became unbearably chilly. The forecast for the day, according to the _Daily Prophet_, was predicted as growing colder as the afternoon wore on. They would go to the pub once they checked out all the stores, unless the forecast was wrong and it turned cold early than anticipated. Either way, the boys knew that the Three Broomsticks could expect an appearance from them at one point of the day.

When the students began queuing up the boys joined up at the back of the line, checking the pockets of their robes to make sure that they had all the money they would need. Argus Filch was at the head of the line, checking off the students that were permitted to enter the village, all the while wearing a disgruntled expression. It was a well known fact that Filch loathed the trips into Hogsmeade for the pure reason that it meant more cleanups for him. It was one of the many trials of being a Squib. The students would go to Zonko's, buy every bit of mayhem they could, and he would have to tidy up the results.

"Come on, come on, move along," he was barking, checking off the names on his clipboard. "No permission slip, no entry!" He muttered angrily under his breath. "Demons… with their Frog Spawn and their Dungbombs."

The boys snickered as they trooped past Filch, already dreaming up the many ways in which they could make the caretaker's worst nightmares become reality. The walk to Hogsmeade seemed to take no time at all, and within a matter of minutes they were standing on the cobblestone streets of the village of Hogsmeade. There were stores to both sides of them; so many that they did know where to start.

"Let's go to Honeydukes," Remus immediately suggested.

"No, Zonko's first," James said.

"What about Dervish and Banges?" Peter asked.

"Why not all three?" Sirius offered jokingly. His friends looked at him. "Look, let's go to Honeydukes first, hit Zonko's go to Dervish and Banges, and then go to the Three Broomsticks for a drink."

And they did just that. They joined the throng of students headed towards the sweet shop. Honeydukes was fit to burst with Hogwarts students who were all sifting ravenously through the barrels and shelves of candies. The boys wove their way through a group of Ravenclaw sixth years who were grabbing handfuls of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans out of a barrel that was almost as tall as Peter.

"Look at all this chocolate," Remus said, gazing in amazement at the shelves full of different flavoured chocolate bars.

"I think Remus has found his heaven," James said as he picked through the stacks of Cauldron Cakes. He and Remus began filling their arms with their favourite sweets, while Peter and Sirius attacked the Chocolate Frogs and Fizzing Whizzbees. They checked out the counter that had the _unusual_ tastes, deciding whether or not they should buy the Blood Pops. They only ended their debate when Sirius bought one for his brother, thinking that he could tell Regulus it was cherry flavoured. After nearly twenty minutes of stocking up on anything that could make their teeth rot, the boys exited Honeydukes and made their way to the infamous Zonko's Joke Shop. Zonko's was filled with the more mischievous set of students, all of whom were observing the display that the owners were showing at the centre of the store.

Two of the owners of the store were putting on a show of the results of Frog Spawn. One of the owners was producing frogs by the second and the second was catching them on his head, his hands, and between his toes. The students watching were cheering loudly, yelling for more. The owners, after bowing extravagantly, scoured the store for more items they could use for demonstration. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter laughed as the owners pulled out a set of Biting Tea Cups and started setting them after each other. There were so many prank items; they had no idea where they should start.

"Look at these!" James exclaimed, shoving a handful of Resizable Wands into Sirius's arms. "They shrink so much you can't find them or they grow so big they're impossible to use."

"I think these have _Slytherin_ written all over them," Sirius laughed.

"What about these?" Remus asked, holding up a packet of Stink Pellets. "There has to be someone we can use this on."

James grinned evilly. "I know I can think of a few." He picked up a small, round package with the label _Fanged Frisbees_. "These look interesting." He observed the picture on the box and saw that it looked like a regular Muggle Frisbee, but it bore fangs and growled, spitting, at whoever dared pass it.

"Amazing Filch hasn't banned those yet," Peter mused when he saw what James had.

James shook his head. "They're pretty recent, he probably hasn't heard of them yet." He added it to his supply. "I think we can change that."

The boys exited Zonko's nearly an hour later, each clutching a bag full of prank products. The weather was growing dangerously chilly, sooner than they had anticipated. Peter agreed to bypass Dervish and Banges so they could warm up at the Three Broomsticks. They would go to Peter's choice the next time they visited the village. It seemed that their fellow classmates had the same idea they had, as they met a dozen or more students heading in the same direction they were. Some of the more lovesick students veered off, presumably to Madam Puddifoot's, but most everyone moved on to the pub.

The Three Broomsticks was a warm, pleasantly loud pub that was filled to the capacity with Hogwarts students. Every table was filled to the maximum and only seats remained at the bar where a young, pretty woman was currently filling a glass for their fellow third year Ravenclaw, Xenophilius Lovegood. To their luck, there were four empty seats beside the Ravenclaw and they grabbed them before anyone else thought to. Removing their cloaks, the boys inspected the taps behind the bar counter, looking to see what the place had to offer.

"Butterbeer sounds good," Sirius said.

Remus grinned. "My dad always gets it for Christmas, since my grandmum always wants eggnog instead."

"What the bloody hell is eggnog?"

"Some drink that Muggles have around Christmas. It's actually really good." He rubbed his hands together to make them warm. "Don't you remember having it at my house?"

"Was that what that stuff was?"

"Yes… I told you that."

Sirius said nothing, but looked mildly surprised.

"How can I help you boys?" The pretty woman behind the bar had appeared in front of them, hands on hips, looking at them expectantly. James and Sirius grinned at each other.

"Why, yes, my fine woman," Sirius said, suddenly adopting a thicker accent and a royal air. "I would like a warm mug of Butterbeer, as would my fellow comrade, James." He nudged James in the ribs.

"Ah yes, I would like that, Madam," James said, taking the same voice as Sirius. "My charming little friend here, Peter, would like a Gillywater… can't handle his Butterbeer, I'm afraid. Our companion, Remus, on the other hand, would like the largest glass you have of Firewhiskey. He's a lad who can handle his whiskey."

Remus rolled his eyes as the barmaid chuckled. "Butterbeer, please," he told her.

"Of course, gentlemen," she said before turning to the taps and filled up four mugs of Butterbeer, figuring that Peter did not really wanted a Gillywater. When she had the four glasses filled, she turned back to the boys. "I'm Madam Rosmerta. Third years, aren't you?"

"Bright lady, you are," Sirius observed thoughtfully.

"Well, I've never seen you four around here before."

"No you haven't," James said, feigning a look of shock. "We should change that."

"I think it's time we formally introduced ourselves." Sirius gestured to himself. "I am Sirius Black, at your service. "This lout over here is James Potter. That fine boy is Peter Pettigrew. And we have the man of few words, Remus Lupin."

"It's nice to meet the four of you. I hope to see you all here again." Madam Rosmerta bustled off to take the orders of Hagrid, who was sitting a few tables back with Professor Kettleburn.

"I like her," Sirius said.

"Because she put up with your stupidity?" Peter asked, taking a sip out the warm, gingery liquid.

"It is _not_ stupidity, Mr. Pettigrew, it is charm."

Peter snorted into his drink. He glanced over his shoulder, watching as Hagrid and Kettleburn became engaged in a spirited conversation. "I wonder what's going to happen to the Flobberworms when it gets really cold."

In Care of Magical Creatures Professor Kettleburn had been teaching them about Flobberworms, pointless creatures that resembled simple earthworms. None of his students, Gryffindor and Slytherin alike, could understand how they could possibly learn about these slimy creatures for two months. As far as the students were concerned, they wouldn't be too devastated if the Flobberworms froze to death over the winter. It was cruel, but they were sick of stuffing lettuce down the worms' disgusting throats. They were ready to advance onto something more interesting, perhaps break into Hagrid's store of pets.

"Halloween's this week," James said conversationally, wiping his mouth of Butterbeer.

"What's Dumbledore got booked for this year?" Remus asked, blotting out a spot of drink off the counter with his sleeve.

"The Fat Friar is singing something," Sirius replied. "There's supposed to be some singing group of House Elves, but I think Peeves will be giving them hell if they come out of the kitchens."

Remus nodded. "Do you remember what happened the last time he caught them out of the kitchens?"

At the end of September, a group of House Elves ventured out of the kitchens at an unusual time, during the middle of the day. Usually they went out during the night to clean up the common rooms, light the fires. No one was quite sure what made them come out, but before anyone knew what was happening, Peeves had grabbed them mid-flight. He took them on a terrifying trip up and down the Astronomy Tower. Needless to say, the House Elves were petrified to come out of the kitchens. They doubted the poor creatures would come out for the Halloween Feast, they were content themselves with preparing the food.

"Peeves loves interrupting the feasts anyway," James reminded them. "It doesn't matter if the House Elves are there or not."

"The feast was ruined anyway last year," Peter said, swiveling around the remaining bit of Butterbeer with a spoon he had pulled out from a bin behind the counter. Peter didn't have to elaborate any further. It was around this time last year that Alice Gordon's father was killed. The Halloween Feast was held in low spirits as nearly every student wondered how Alice was feeling. As this thought fluttered into their minds, they peered over their shoulders and saw that Alice was sitting with Frank and Lily, smiling but distracted. They had no doubt that she was dwelling on her late father.

"How's the Animagus training going?" Remus asked, draining the last bits of his drink. He had not been going to their recent training sessions, as Lily had been scheduling Potions tutoring at the same times. He hoped they had progressed, even if only a little.

"James has almost got his Patronus," Sirius relayed. "But he gets so excited that it goes away before we can tell what it is."

"You can't even get that silvery stuff," James shot back.

Remus intervened before Sirius could think up a retort. "How about you, Peter?"

Peter shook his head sadly. "I still can't even think up a happy memory."

"There has to be something."

"Nothing that I can think of. What did you do? You got yours on your first try."

"I thought of when you guys accepted me for what I am, that was my happiest memory." He scratched the back of his neck. "Just think of a time when you were really happy, Pete. It's not so hard."

"First I thought of when I finally transfigured something in McGonagall's class."

"That's not good enough, there has to be something better."

"Then I thought of when I first got my wand."

"That didn't work?"

"I thought it would, but nothing happened."

Remus shrugged. "We'll help you think of something."

By the time they exited the pub, after having a lengthy conversation with Madam Rosmerta, there were flurries falling out of the sky. The rest of the students and staff who had been out for the day were heading back to the castle, shaking snowflakes out of their hair and off of their hats. The temperature had dropped considerably. It had not been a hot day, but it had not been at all freezing. By the time they reached the castle the snow was pouring down in buckets.

The marble floors of the Entrance Hall were slippery and squeaking as the students' shoes rubbed across it. Dinner was going on in the Great Hall; the loud chatter could be heard. The boys bypassed the dining room and headed to Gryffindor Tower to deposit their wet cloaks and change their shoes. They were already discussing the next trip to Hogsmeade, listing the places they would go that they had not gone to this time. They wished they had been able to go to the Post Office, Dervish and Banges, even to the Shrieking Shack (as James and Sirius had managed to convince Remus to go up there on a day when he wasn't going to turn hairy).

"The Three Broomsticks was cool," Sirius said, stripping off his cold cloak and hanging it on the posts holding up the curtains around his bed. "But it was freezing out."

"Winter's coming early," Peter surmised, turning his left shoe over and allowing it to drain of water.

"What do you want to do now?" Remus asked, rubbing his arms to keep warm.

"We could always go to the Room of Requirement and continue practising," James recommended. They had heard it from one of the House Elves that this room was referred to as the Come and Go Room, but that was a name used almost exclusively by the elves. Otherwise it was known as the Room of Requirement.

Peter looked up from tying his shoes. "I thought we were doing that tomorrow."

James looked slightly put out, but shrugged and mentioned going to the kitchens to see what the House Elves had to offer.

"Dinner's going on. We can go there if you're hungry," Sirius said, sticking his head through a new jumper. "Hopefully Sluggy's not having another one of his parties."

James grimaced at the thought. "Those boring things… they're murder."

"At least the pheasant wasn't coming out of you."

"Well this conversation took a pleasant turn," Peter said to Remus.

"Yeah, but don't forget, Pete, we all love hearing about Sirius's bodily functions." He ducked as Sirius's wet socks came flying at his head. "Watch it, Black!"

"You see, the point was to _hit_ you. Whoa!" He moved to the side as Remus's pillow soared at him. "Nice try, Lupin."

James joined Peter on the other side of the room. "Looks like we've got a show."

"Ow! Your shoe was in that!"

"Was not!"

"They're mental, the both of them," Peter muttered.

"Was too!" Remus turned the pillowcase over and Sirius's shoe fell out. Sirius looked away innocently. "That was aimed at my head."

"Not intentionally."

"Then how do you explain the fact that my head is in pain?"

"Getting a migraine?"

"Yeah, from you."

"I don't give head pains, I'm a loveable person."

Remus stooped down to his knees. "Where's my biggest book? That one's going at your face."

"You better run, Sirius," Peter advised, ripping open a Chocolate Frog wrapper.

"Yeah, really, mate," James added as Remus emerged, clutching a four hundred page book.

"You were serious?" Sirius yelped.

"Admit you meant to throw your shoe at me."

"I didn't!"

"Yes you did."

"I did not!"

"Yes you did!"

"I did - hey!" James and Peter had appeared beside them and swung their pillows – James at Sirius and Peter at Remus.

James looked at the two bickerers. "We win. Time for dinner."


	27. Ends May Bring Peace

Chapter Twenty Seven  
Ends May Bring Peace

Class had been grueling that day, and it was only lunchtime. They were forced to weather an excruciatingly long period of History of Magic in which Professor Binns droned on about something that no student could remember. Transfiguration had them transfiguring everything in sight into a furry creature. They had just come from Care of Magical Creatures, covered in snow, dirt and slime after chasing escaped Flobberworms. The boys were convinced the worms must have been on sugar to move as fast as they had. They could at least enjoy their lunch before trudging off to Defence Against the Dark Arts and learn about Hinkypunks. They were confident that would be somewhat interesting. The only bright spot aside from Defence Against the Dark Arts was that it was a Friday; they would be free after the final bell.

"My head hurts," Sirius whined, pouring large spoonfuls of steaming stew into his plate.

"My knees are killing me," James moaned, rubbing his knees. He looked at Remus and Peter. "What about you two? Anything about to die on you?"

"My ears," Peter told him.

Remus gave him a funny look. "Your ears?"

"A grasshopper attacked me outside." Peter wondered how there could possibly be a grasshopper out in all that snow.

"Oh… okay." He glanced around the table, seeing what he was hungry for. "Well, my back is killing me."

"Why are all the teachers being so brutal today?" James wondered, before stuffing a roll of bread into his mouth.

Sirius swallowed. "Binns wasn't brutal, he was just boring."

"McGonagall was merciless. You can't deny that."

"I suppose he couldn't, Mr. Potter."

James jumped at the sound of Professor McGonagall's voice behind him. This was too typical. When he looked up, however, he saw that she was not looking mad, or even wearing her usual stern expression. In an attempt to cover up what he had said, he cracked a smile and took on his gentleman façade.

"Hullo, Professor McGonagall."

"James," she said simply. James raised an eyebrow at Sirius. She hadn't called him _Potter_. That was odd. Instead, she turned her attention to Remus, who suddenly looked extremely uncomfortable. He hadn't done anything to warrant a talking-to from his professor, or at least he was fairly certain that he hadn't. What did she want with him? "Remus, would you come with me?"

Remus picked up his bag and confusedly followed the Transfiguration teacher out of the Great Hall.

"What was that about?" Sirius asked when the two were gone.

"She called me _James_. She never does that."

"And she looked sad," Peter told them. "We'll find out what happened in our next class."

But Peter was wrong. They did not find out what had made Professor McGonagall seem so sad, because Remus was not in Defence Against the Dark Arts. They spent the entire period wondering where their friend could be, rather than focusing on the Hinkypunk that Professor Handlin was showing them. James had actually been looking forward to this lesson, so he could finally discover what a Hinkypunk was after the disastrous quiz during first year in which he had claimed that they were creatures who resembled miniature ponies. Try as they might, they could do nothing to help their concentration. It came as a relief when the final bell rang and they immediately dashed for Gryffindor Tower.

When they entered the boys' dormitory they saw Remus crouched down beside his bed, emptying the books out of his bag and filling it with clothes instead. He looked bewildered, shocked. He didn't hear his friends enter, nor did he seem to notice that Frank was repeatedly asking him if anything was the matter before declaring defeat and heading down to dinner. It took the combined efforts of his three roommates to break him out of his state and get him to acknowledge any of them. However, he only looked at them for a split second before returning to his packing. James grabbed Remus's wrist as he was shoving one of his shirts into his bag.

"What happened?"

"I-I have to go home," Remus said quickly, in a strange voice. He sounded confused, as if he had no idea where he was or what exactly his home was.

"Why?" Sirius asked, sitting down on his bed.

"I – McGonagall said I have to."

"Why?" Peter asked, sitting beside Sirius.

"Got a letter from my dad… said for me to come home right away."

"Did he say why?" James asked patiently. Remus had a habit of going around in circles before he actually came out and told them what was bothering him.

Remus ceased his packing and stared at the floor. Then, as though he was getting himself to admit something terrible, which he was, he said, "Yes."

"What did he say?"

"My grandparents died today." Having gotten the worst over, he continued to furiously pack.

James, Sirius and Peter glanced at each other. They knew this was coming, but they knew Remus was not prepared for it. No one was ever ready to hear that someone they had loved was dead, let alone two loved ones.

"Wow… we're sorry," Sirius finally said.

Remus seemed not to hear him. "Have to go home… Dad's upset… Mum needs me… They're _dead_." He didn't appear to be able to grasp the situation. It was true that it had only been within the past two years that he had actually developed a real relationship with his grandparents, they had always been there. He couldn't deny that they had been frightened of what he was since he was bitten, but that never stopped them from visiting on Christmas and on his birthdays before he started school. He could hardly begin to start imagining life without them. He didn't want to; he was only just starting to get to know them. Why did they have to be taken away?

Not knowing what else to say, Peter settled for asking, "When are you going home?"

"In an hour. Dumbledore wants me at his office." He zipped shut his bag. "They still don't even know what killed my grandpa. They don't know anything…"

"The Healers must've tried," James reassured him. His father told him that the Healers always tried to find out what happened, even if they were unsuccessful in the end.

"I know they did, but he still died." He stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder. It looked as if it was causing him a great deal of effort to maintain his composure. "Merlin, there's a bloody full moon tomorrow!" In light of what he had only just discovered, the impending full moon slipped his mind completely.

"Do you want one of us to go with you?" James offered. James was sure that anything, even the death of a family member, could be made more bearable if there was a friend there.

"You don't have to," Remus told him, though he sounded as though he very much liked that idea. "I'll be fine."

"Come on, Remus. I'll go with you. Your mum will probably need help around the house and you won't be up to doing it and your dad won't be either."

"You don't have to."

"I don't, but I'm going to anyway."

* * *

"Evans! Hey, Evans! Lily!"

"What, Black?"

"Can you come here for a minute?"

Sirius and Peter were sitting out in the courtyard, poring over their Transfiguration book in an attempt to find the answers to the homework. James and Remus had been gone since the previous night, after Remus had asked Professor Dumbledore's and his mother's approval for James to accompany him home. They didn't need help with the homework when they saw Lily walking by, but Sirius had promised Remus that he would tell Lily to forget about the tutoring session they had planned. The red head, looking exasperated, went to the boys.

"I don't have the answers to the homework," she said when she met them and saw what they were doing.

"That's not what we were going to ask," Peter assured her.

"What is it, then?"

"Cancel your tutoring session with Remus tonight," Sirius said.

"Why? He's not feeling ill again, is he?" A number of times Remus had asked her to cancel their lessons because he was feeling under the weather. Never, however, had he not been there to tell her himself.

"He _is_ feeling a bit ill, but he's gone home," Peter told her.

"How come?"

Sirius frowned. "His grandparents died yesterday. He's gone home to be with his parents. James went with him."

Lily's mouth dropped open. "Oh… well, okay. When you talk to him, tell him I'm so sorry."

Sirius smiled slightly and nodded. "Definitely."

Lily hesitated for a moment. "Is he okay?"

"He will be," Peter assured her. "Once the shock wears off."

"Was he close with them?"

"Not until recently. That's the worst of it, I think."

Lily bit her bottom lip. "Be sure to give him my message." She adjusted the strap on her bag and continued on her way through the courtyard. Sirius and Peter watched her go and only once her red hair was no longer visible did they go back to their work. They couldn't help but wonder what was going on at the Lupin house; they hoped James was doing his best to help Remus and his parents. Sirius and Peter knew he was trying; James would never go back on his word to help if it involved his friends.

* * *

"This is a wonderful cake, James."

"Thanks, Mrs. Lupin."

"Where'd you learn to bake?"

"Willie taught me that when I was ten." He turned on the faucet and began cleaning everything he had tossed in the sink while he was preparing the cake. "There's more over there if anyone wants it."

"Thank you, James."

The Lupin house was, naturally, subdued. James was in the kitchen with Remus and Mrs. Lupin, who had plates of James's chocolate cake in front of them. James was not an expert on cheering people up after the death of a loved one, but he did know one thing – cake made any situation better. He was suddenly eternally grateful for the week Willie had kept him in the kitchen, patiently teaching him how to bake a cake. Mrs. Lupin and Remus were faring better than Mr. Lupin. James had only seen him once since they arrived.

Mr. Lupin was waiting by the fireplace for the arrival of his son and his son's friend. He greeted them, Remus with a sad hug and James with a gentle clap on the shoulder, and had disappeared into his study. He had not come out since. Remus had gone in earlier that morning to check on him, but didn't stay too long. His father wanted to be alone, he had to respect that. Both boys knew that Mr. Lupin was close with his parents, even after they had shortened their visits ten years previous, after their only grandson was bitten by a werewolf. Nothing could destroy the bond of a child and their parents, unless it had been destroyed before it had a chance to be created.

It was now mid-afternoon and Mr. Lupin had still not appeared. James knew he was going to come out eventually; it would not be long before Remus had to go to the shed for his transformation. James involuntarily shivered at the thought; he wanted nothing more than to already know how to turn into an Animagus. He knew Remus's transformation was going to be worse than the previous month's, and that had been the worst they had seen in a long time. Mr. Lupin was aware of this, he would come out.

"Here, I'll take that," James offered when he saw that Remus was not going to finish his piece of cake. He had snatched it up before Remus even had a chance to react.

"I think I'll go check on your father," Mrs. Lupin said to Remus, standing up and edging towards the hallway.

"James, you don't have to clean all that up," Remus said when he saw the mess in the sink.

"That's what I'm here for," James reminded him.

"I wish my dad would come out here," Remus said, choosing not to remark on what James had told him.

"He needs time, you know that."

"Yeah, but he shouldn't be by himself either. He always told me that worst thing you could do when you were upset is to hide out from everyone else."

"Never stopped you from doing that."

"I don't listen to _everything_ my parents tell me."

"That sounds like a good bit of advice to take, though."

Remus gritted his teeth. "My dad should follow it then."

James dried off the dish he had finished washing and set it on the counter. He knew this was Remus's way of venting his frustration about what had happened, his way of grieving. "Listen, you know your dad is just trying to get through this the best he can."

"I know he is." He leaned against the counter and folded his arms across his chest. "It just isn't fair."

James didn't really know what to say to this, the truth was coming out. "Don't you think it might be better this way?"

"That they're dead?" Remus sounded incredulous.

"That came out wrong… What I meant was, don't you think it's better that they're not in pain anymore? That they never will be again?"

Remus sighed, running a hand over his face. "You're probably right. They can't get sick anymore." He glanced over his shoulder, out the window. The full moon would rise in only a few hours, he didn't want to do it.

James saw what Remus was looking at, though there was no moon in the sky. He knew that tonight he would discover why Sirius was so determined to become an Animagus. James knew the transformations were bad, but he had never seen his friend just as they were ending. "You'll be okay. You've been fine all day."

Remus shrugged. He hadn't felt ill all day, which was a first. He knew that the lack of illness was due to his concern for his father. It was only a matter of time; however, that he would feel it and it would be at the worst possible moment. That's why he wished his dad was there. And with thinking of that he was reminded of how his grandfather had come after the New Year full moon in his first year, ready to help him. "Whenever I transformed home, after first year, my grandpa would come and help me. He used to be a Healer. That was why my dad tried becoming a Healer, before he decided that he liked teaching and writing better."

"You know, I could ask my dad to come here before he goes to work," James offered. He knew his father could never deny the opportunity to help someone when they were hurt.

Remus, though he appreciated the offer, didn't want to put Mr. Potter out. "Your dad's busy… he doesn't have to."

James didn't further the question, but he was going to send an owl to his father regardless of Remus's answer.

* * *

James now knew exactly why Sirius got so impassioned whenever it came time to practise becoming an Animagus. James had never before heard anything so terrible, so… he could barely think of words to describe it. All he knew was that he never wanted to hear it again. Remus was only thirteen; he didn't deserve to have to go through that every month. James had sat up in Remus's room, trying vainly to go to sleep and block out his friend's howls, but it was impossible. They were too loud, too violent. He knew Mrs. Lupin was awake, sitting in the downstairs, listening, defeated, to her son's howls. James knew that this transformation was going to be bad, especially when Mr. Lupin did not emerge to help Remus to the shed.

It came as a relief when James opened his eyes and saw the morning sun blaring through the window above Remus's empty bed. He heard stirring coming from downstairs and saw, when he looked over the railing, that his father was coming out of the fireplace, quietly greeting Remus's mother. James pulled on his socks and dashed down the stairs.

"I'm so sorry, Anna," Mr. Potter was saying.

"Thank you, Charles. And thank you for coming to help Remus. I knew he was going to have a bad night."

"That's what James said when he wrote me. Where's Harry?"

"Sleeping, I think. I was out here all night."

Mr. Potter nodded knowingly. He led Mrs. Lupin out onto the snow covered grounds, James following, hastily pulling on his shoes. The shed was in the backyard, surrounded by two feet of snow. Mrs. Lupin and James had worked hard digging a path around the structure, so they could open the door, but the night's snow had piled up in front of the door. James stepped forward and pulled on the door, trying to force it through the stubborn snow. Mr. Potter placed a hand on his son's shoulder, signaling for him to stop. Mr. Potter waved his wand and the snow melted away, allowing the door to open easily.

They were met with Remus's groans of pain when the sunlight hit his pale, bloodied and bruised face. James glanced at his father and saw that he looked sick. This somewhat surprised James; his father must have seen worse at St. Mungo's. Then again, he had never really gone too far into the werewolf wards. He must have only seen a recovering werewolf a few times. Even if he had seen it numerous times, it never would get easy. Mr. Potter fell down to his knees, pulling out his wand and conjuring up a jar full of blue flames to warm himself and Remus.

"Good morning, Remus," he said quietly, running his wand across a gash on the boy's face.

Remus could say nothing, he only watched as Mr. Potter tried to mend his wounds. He bit back a cry as James's father moved his arm up and down, checking to see what was wrong with it.

"I'm sorry," Mr. Potter apologised. "I know it hurts."

James felt sick, he couldn't watch anymore. He spun around, intending to run to the house, but only ran into Harry Lupin. Mr. Lupin's eyes were bloodshot and had bags under them. He had not slept at all. He easily saw what James was thinking when he started running.

"It's hard to see." He watched as Charles bound Remus's arm up so it would be still while he tackled the other injuries. Breaking his gaze away, he looked down at James. "Thank you for coming, it means a lot."

* * *

The funeral was quiet, held the morning after so Remus could spend time recovering. Gabriella and John Lupin were buried in a Muggle cemetery, as had been the request of Gabriella, who wanted to be with her family when she died. John, who was not on good terms with his own family before their death, did not object when they had written it out in their wills. It was a grey morning, fitting of the affair, with a soft breeze that ruffled the grass surrounding the new gravestones. The priest read quietly from a small prayer book, looking up briefly at times to acknowledge the family. The Lupins, joined by the Potters, watched mutely as the caskets were lowered into the ground when the priest finished.

The two families lingered in their spots before beginning to head to the Ministry cars Mrs. Potter had arranged for them. Mrs. Potter and Mrs. Lupin walked together, talking in hushed voices, James and his father following behind. When James noticed that two members of the group were not following, he looked over his shoulder and saw Remus hovering behind his father, who had not moved from his place.

"Remus?" he said uncertainly.

Remus nodded for James to go on, pointing with his free arm at his father, indicating that they would catch up. When James and Mr. Potter entered the car, Remus approached his own father, unsure exactly what he wanted to say. His father was standing with his hands in his pockets, his eyes fixed on the open holes in the ground, through which the two caskets had disappeared.

"Dad?" he said, breaking his father out of his reverie.

"They were good people, Remus," Harry said in a tone that Remus could not distinguish.

"I know they were."

"I know they weren't here for a lot of your life, but that doesn't make them bad people."

"They were here at the end, that's what matters."

"They still loved you… They loved us all."

Remus was beginning to suspect that his father was talking to himself more than he was his son. Remus knew it bothered his father that his own parents willingly did not come around as much as they could have. He was doing his best to convince himself that they had loved him, that they loved his wife, and that they loved his son. "I know they did, Dad. You don't have to remind me… and you don't have to remind yourself either."

Harry sighed. "I know I don't."

"Come on, Mum's waiting."

Remus led his father around the other gravestones, pausing only a moment to look back at the ones they had left behind. His grandparents had lived seventy long years; they had had the opportunity to do many things they wanted. It was their time. James was right; they would no longer be in pain. His grandparents were happy.


	28. The Forbidden Forest

Chapter Twenty Eight  
The Forbidden Forest

"Hamilton catches the Snitch! Gryffindor beats Hufflepuff! Two hundred and sixty to one hundred!"

The stands covered in scarlet erupted into raucous applause as the Gryffindor team took a lap of honour around the Quidditch Pitch, celebrating their victory in the first match of the year. It had not been a difficult match by any means; the victor had been decided before the Quaffle was released. It wasn't that Hufflepuff was a terrible team; it was that Gryffindor was better, and everyone knew this. Initially it had been Ravenclaw they were set to take on, but a Chaser had injured his arm during practise, and they had no replacement. The mass of scarlet slowly descended to the ground, following out the remaining backs of canary-coloured robes to the changing rooms. The spectators in the stands began filing out, talking excitedly about the match and the odds for the upcoming games.

Sirius, Remus and Peter caught up with James outside of the changing room. It had been a week since he and Remus returned from school and they had hardly had any time to talk about what went on while they were gone. James had been hauled out to Quidditch practise every night, literally by the ear, by Cory Hamilton, who was on a training binge. While James was gone, Remus was absorbed in whatever work he was doing. Sirius and Peter knew better than to bother him while he was working. It was only a matter of time before Remus pulled out that four hundred page book again, and this time he might actually use it. Sirius and Peter had news to report and now was the perfect opportunity to report it.

"So what is it that you've been dying to tell us?" James asked, swinging his trusted Silver Arrow over his shoulder.

"Some Slytherins, the older ones, they disappeared for a few hours the nights you guys weren't here," Peter reported in a quiet voice.

"Where?" Remus questioned, looking interested.

"That's the thing, we don't know," Sirius said, casting a glance around to make sure they were not being overheard. "It's strange… suspicious. They all got up from the Great Hall at the same time and looked like they were going to the same place."

"Maybe it's nothing important." Remus tried shrugging it off. It wasn't unusual for a few students to disappear somewhere in the castle. It was so large; there were many places to go. They, themselves, had been vanishing for a few hours one or two nights a week in the Room of Requirement.

Sirius seemed to guess what Remus was thinking. "They're not going to the Room of Requirement. Peter and I managed to get in. If they were in there, they wouldn't want anyone else getting in, would they?"

"I s'ppose not."

"I don't think its anything to worry about right now," James said decidedly. "Let's keep an eye on them; if they do it more often we'll see what they're up to." He shifted his broom to his other shoulder and looked at Remus. "Have you spoken to your parents?"

"My mum wrote me yesterday. She says Dad's starting to feel better."

Sirius nodded, peering closely at his friend. "How about you?"

"I'm alright." Remus wanted to get off this particular topic. So he let his eyes wander around the grounds until he saw a group of students moving as inconspicuously as they could across the way. The students were casting covert glances over their shoulders, trying to detect trailers. They didn't seem to spot the boys. Remus could tell from a few faces that he recognised that they were older Slytherins. He stopped in his path. "Look at that."

Peter's eyes followed where Remus was pointing. "Those are the ones we were talking about."

"Where do you think they're going?" James asked.

"I dunno." Sirius moved closer. "This is earlier than they usually leave. It's not even six."

"We don't even know if it's anything bad they're doing. They've only left for a day or two," Remus said suddenly. "Unless they've been doing it all week and we haven't noticed?"

"They might have," Peter agreed. It was very plausible that these Slytherins had been disappearing and the boys had not noticed, being too wrapped up in their own affairs.

"Let's follow them," Sirius proposed, already moving at a swift pace towards the Slytherins. James followed Sirius, but Peter and Remus hung back. The Slytherins looked as if they were headed towards the Forbidden Forest, no good could come from that.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Peter asked, hoping to stall them as much as he could. "We don't know what they're doing."

"Which is exactly _why_ we're going to follow," Sirius said, sounding as if it was the most obvious thing. "Come on, if we see it's something we can't handle, we'll go back."

Peter and Remus still looked uneasy, though there was an undeniable streak of curiosity. They took off behind James and Sirius, who walked as quietly and quickly as they could across the grass. As they neared the edge of the Forbidden Forest they slowed their pace, wanting to give the Slytherins a head start, but have them close enough to keep in sight. They couldn't hear the conversation their rival house was having, but it was excited, they could tell that much.

Both groups trekked farther into the ever-darkening forest, one impatiently waiting to reach the destination, the other waiting impatiently to find out exactly what the destination was. The sounds of the forest increased as they loomed further in. Howls, screeches, an occasional roar, the boys were beginning to discover why it was called the Forbidden Forest. James fished inside his pockets, hoping to find his Invisibility Cloak inside, only to remember that he had taken it out before the match. Of all the times for him to clean up after himself…

None of the boys dared speak, not wanting to give off their location if their voices carried. Soon the forest became so dark that they could not define a path before them, but they did not want to risk lighting their wands. Ahead they could see a faint orange glow; the Slytherins had been thinking the same thing – that it was dark, but they were unafraid to light their wands. Stepping over branches and uprooted tree roots they found that the faint glow was no longer faint. They had been approaching a clearing and could see a large crackling fire. The Slytherins had not only been searching for the right spot, they had been searching for the right people.

Tall figures wearing masks and black cloaks stood around the fire, their wands drawn. As the Slytherins approached, they said something the boys could not hear correctly. Whatever it was, it gained trust between the two groups. The boys ducked down behind several bushes, peering through the branches.

"You could bring no more?" asked one of the voices behind a mask. It was a harsh voice, demanding.

"We didn't have much time," replied a Slytherin that the boys did not know. He seemed only slightly apprehensive at the masked face before him. "There was a Quidditch match, you see, and everyone was busy for it. We couldn't ask at the pitch, there were too many professors around."

"Be that as it may, you should have put more effort," said a second voice, this one recognizable. It was a cold drawl, and even if the man had been wearing no mask they would have been able to see his pale, sneering face. Lucius Malfoy. "He waits for no one. He doesn't believe in obstacles as immature as a Quidditch match."

"We are very sorry," said another Slytherin, a slightly rougher voice. "We promise, by our next meeting we will bring others."

"Do not make a promise you cannot keep. He does not take well to broken promises." It appeared that Lucius was running everything and the other masked figures were simply there for the intimidation factor. He did all of the talking, and generated most of the fearful obedience from the Slytherins. "You _do_ remember what happened to the last person who broke a promise?"

The Slytherins nodded, not one of them chancing a word. The boys looked at each, wondering what they had stumbled into. This was a meeting, a meeting for wizards that would have made the Black Family proud. Sirius was the first to see this, even before Lucius Malfoy had announced his presence. Part of them wanted desperately to leave, but their feet were stuck. They listened on.

"We have come to discuss more of our cause with you," Lucius went on, his voice deadly calm. "You do know about our goals – purifying the Wizarding World where it needs to be?"

"Getting rid of those Mudbloods," the third Slytherin chipped in gleefully.

"Yes, disposing of those born to unworthy blood. But we also have to go beyond half-bloods and Muggle-borns. We have to think about the half breeds. Vampires, Giants, Werewolves. How can we use them to our advantage?"

James felt Remus shift behind him, he had become oddly still.

"If we offer them what the Ministry has denied them – their rights – we can have them on our side. He will be very pleased." This pronouncement was met with a round of approval. "Those disgusting creatures, they may be of some use after all."

"Then we can get rid of them?" asked the second Slytherin hopefully.

"If they do not serve us well. Unforgivable Curses will be a must; we must use them to our strongest strength." Lucius basked in the cheers of those around him, but something made his smile falter. "Quiet, quiet," he instructed. "I think we are not alone."

The boys did not even have a chance to look at each other before they were at their feet, running as fast as they could. But it was no use. They were too far in, there was no escape. Four spells hit their backs and they knew nothing as a sheet of blackness fell.

* * *

"Poppy, come quick. One of them is coming around!"

Through blurry eyes, Sirius could see the form of Madam Pomfrey hurrying over to him. He could also see the recognizable shape of Professor Handlin. He was standing over the bed across him, holding the wrist of whoever was in it, checking for a pulse. Why was Handlin there? And how had they gotten to the Hospital Wing? The last thing he could remember was running as fast as he could out of the Forbidden Forest. Something had happened. He had blacked out. He wondered if James, Remus and Peter had too. They must have; Handlin had said that _one_ of them was coming around. He groaned as Madam Pomfrey pressed her hand against his forehead.

"He doesn't feel warm anymore," the nurse said, placing two fingers against his neck. "His pulse is good. Are the others waking, Samuel?"

_Who's Samuel?_ Sirius wondered, before realising that Samuel must have been Professor Handlin's first name.

"Ah, James is," Handlin responded. "Evening, Mr. Potter."

Sirius raised his head off his pillow and saw James lying in the bed next to the one Handlin was standing at. James looked just as confused as Sirius felt. Of course, that could have been because someone had taken his glasses. He saw how white James's face was and wondered if he looked similar. Putting his glasses on, James caught Sirius's eye and mouthed: _What happened?_ Sirius bit his bottom lip and James understood that his friend had no more of an idea than he did.

Madam Pomfrey bustled over to James's bedside, muttering something about getting to be too old for her job. She checked James's pulse and went to the cabinet, presumably to retrieve a potion.

As Madam Pomfrey's back was turned, Professor Handlin said, "Here comes Peter."

Peter slowly raised a hand to his head, murmuring something incoherently. He glanced at Sirius, who was in the bed next to his, and across at James. None of them could figure out how they ended up in the infirmary. If they had been caught by those Slytherins and those other wizards with Lucius Malfoy, they should have been dead. They had been hopelessly outnumbered. Who had rescued them? With Professor Handlin hovering over them, they had no opportunity to discuss the events of the day.

"Take these," Madam Pomfrey ordered, returning with three bottles of teal potions. She handed one to each of the boys and refused to look away until they had downed the entire thing. They tasted disgusting, as did all of the potions in the infirmary. Luckily the bottles were small and could be taken in one gulp. When they were finished, the nurse collected the empty potions and brought them back to the cabinet to wash and refill. Professor Handlin excused himself for a moment to use the lavatory, giving the boys the chance to talk about what they had seen.

"So that's what they've been doing," Sirius whispered, eyes downcast. "They're in some sort of society."

"Not a good one either," Peter added.

"I knew Lucius Malfoy was up to no good when we saw him in Knockturn Alley," James said.

"No one's ever up to anything good there," Sirius interjected.

"But what exactly were they doing?"

"Talking about someone with no name," Peter said. "Malfoy just kept calling the guy 'him.' Not very enlightening."

"Shh," James hissed suddenly. Madam Pomfrey was coming back within earshot.

The boys fell silent as the nurse went through the same procedure with Peter that she had with James and Sirius. Once she finished with Peter she went to the bed beside James, which contained Remus. His eyes were shut, so they could not tell if he was sleeping or had not yet come around. The sight of Remus reminded James of something they had heard in the forest.

"Malfoy was talking about werewolves," he said when Madam Pomfrey had gone into her office. "He was talking about using them, and giants and vampires. And killing them once it was over."

"Yeah, but using them for what?" Peter asked fearfully. He was not scared of these species, but he could not stand to think of what they could be tempted into doing.

"We never got around to hearing that, did we?" Sirius said vehemently. "I hate people like him."

"We all do, Sirius."

"I hate people who use others who have something different about them and use it to hurt them."

"Same here."

James, Sirius and Peter looked around to see that Remus's eyes were fluttering open. He greeted his friends with a tired smile. "Let's never follow Slytherins into the Forbidden Forest again, agreed?"

"We have to find out what they were doing," James insisted.

"James, they would've done worse to us than just Stunning us if they'd gotten the chance."

"That's what I want to know – how didn't they get us?"

"Dunno, Sirius."

Their conversation was halted by the reappearance of Madam Pomfrey, who had come in when she thought she had heard Remus's voice. The nurse checked his pulse as she had done with James, Sirius and Peter, then proceeded to feel his forehead, check to se if his pupils were dilated, and a number of other medical procedures. The three boys were who not being inspected grinned at each. Madam Pomfrey had more of a maternal side when it came to Remus, who had been in her care more than any other student. When the nurse deemed their conditions "survivable" she went back to her office, after instructing them to spend the night.

"You four are lucky… in the Forbidden Forest of all places…"

Just as the office door closed, the entrance to the ward opened and Professor Handlin walked in. "Moaning Myrtle decided to come to the teachers' bathroom… enormous flood." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "I think some of the water may have been her tears." He shrugged and turned to the boys. "Would you mind telling me what were you doing in the Forbidden Forest?"

"We… we thought we saw people going in," Sirius admitted.

"So you followed them?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," James said, suddenly realising that they should not have followed the Slytherins, although he did have every intention of doing it again.

"I didn't see anyone when I found you."

Remus looked up. "How did you know we were there?"

"No one saw you return to the castle and one of the centaurs was close to the grounds. He told me he saw four boys go into the forest."

Peter's eyes widened in surprise. "It was _you_ who saved us?"

"I wouldn't call it saving, just looking out for my students." He stood up and headed towards the exit. "I'm not going to force you to, but it is in the best interest of the school if you tell us who you saw going in there. Professor Dumbledore has no idea any of his students went into the Forbidden Forest. He will, if you tell us what you saw."

* * *

It wasn't that the boys were frightened of what Dumbledore would do to them if he found out they had gone into the Forbidden Forest. It was that they were a bit afraid of what they had witnessed. Those Slytherins and those masked figures knew they were being watched and it was guaranteed that they were looking for whoever it was. The boys couldn't even be sure that their faces had gone unseen. How long had it been before Handlin had found them? Was it right after they had fallen unconscious or was it a few minutes later, when they were already at the mercy of their attackers?

In the end they decided that, for the time being, they would not tell the Headmaster what they had witnessed. The boys began noticing that the Slytherins they had tailed did not get up during dinner any longer. They must have realised it was too dangerous to continue going, for the moment at any rate. When they were alone in the dormitory they could not keep their conversation off the Forbidden Forest. Who were those people Lucius Malfoy was with? What were they doing there? Who were they trying to recruit? What did they want with the giants, werewolves and vampires? These questions had no answers that they knew of yet.

"Where are there vampires anyway?" Remus asked one night, looking up from the letter he was writing to his parents.

"Up in the northern parts of England, some live in Scotland too," Sirius replied, leaning back on his pillow. "They don't usually come to Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley or any of the other places wizards go to."

"So why would Malfoy want them?"

"Remus, they don't stay away from here by choice. The Ministry keeps them away. Malfoy figures that if they gave vampires things they can't have because of the Ministry, they'd have them on their side."

"We don't even know what their side _is_, James."

"I know, Peter, I was just saying." He turned back to Remus. "Think about it. If you weren't allowed to come to school would you be so eager to be friendly with wizards?"

"_I'm_ a wizard, James."

"I know you are, but what if you were denied everything every other wizard has?"

"I pretty much will be once I get out of here."

"Then look at the situation from there. Once you've graduated, what's to stop the Ministry from taking all your rights from you? Any other werewolf would want revenge on them. Malfoy knows this."

"Well, _I_ don't want revenge."

"I'm just saying that other werewolves would."

"I'm not those _other_ werewolves, James."

"James," Peter hissed warningly. He knew that James was not intending his words to come offensive, but they were.

"You know I didn't mean that, Remus."

"That's how it's coming out." Remus snatched up his letter and left the room with it.

"Brilliant, James," Sirius said sarcastically, clapping his hands. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone crash and burn so badly."

"Shut up, Sirius."

"No, really, I mean that was just amazing. Comparing him to those crazy wolves that bite people for fun, like the maniac who bit him? That was a stroke of genius! I'm surprised he didn't punch you because that's what I would've done."

"It's a good thing I wasn't talking to you, then."

Sirius sat up. "Honestly, James, you just showed him the reason why a lot of werewolves go over to the bad side. People are ignorant."

"I am _not_ ignorant."

"_We_ know that, both other people don't. I've told you a million times how my parents talk about werewolves; they don't give werewolves a good reason to stay on the side of good wizards."

James knew there was no point in arguing it, Sirius was right. He hated when that happened. "I'll go find him."

"That's the smartest thing you've said in the past fifteen minutes."

After flinging his pillow at Sirius's face, James left the dormitory and made a beeline for the Owlery. He suddenly wished they had never followed those Slytherins into the Forbidden Forest; it would have saved them a lot of trouble. The world as they knew it was turning for the worse and they had witnessed it. For the past two years they had been hearing about strange deaths – starting with Professor Flitwick's sister and Alice Gordon's father. No one seemed to know who or what was behind it or if they did they were unwilling to share it. The boys had managed to stumble upon something that had to do with these deaths. There was no solid proof, but they knew it anyhow.

The path up to the Owlery was freezing; James wished he had brought his cloak with him. As he neared the door he could hear the sleepy hooting of the numerous owls that roosted in the tower. Pushing the door open, he saw Remus leaning his elbows forward on the windowsill, looking out into the darkening night.

"I'm not like them, James," he said without looking around.

"How'd you know it was me?" James asked, surprised.

Remus chose to ignore this. "I don't want revenge on the Ministry because they're not going to let me live like normal wizards. I won't like it, but I'm not going to hurt them because of it."

"I know that."

Remus finally turned around and James saw an anger that he had never seen before. "Well you didn't act like you did. The whole reason Fenrir Greyback bites children is so he can fill their heads with those stupid ideas – that we should hate wizards for treating us like we're scum. My parents worked hard to keep me from thinking like that. I'm not about to adopt Greyback's plans just because I heard Lucius Malfoy talking about werewolves like we're puppets he can use."

"I'm sorry. I was just trying to show you how werewolves like Greyback are, not werewolves like you. You're different and we know that!"

Remus visibly relaxed. "I'm not going to end up like them."

"No, you're not. And you don't have to remind yourself."

* * *

**_Excerpt from Chapter Twenty Nine: Holiday Happenings -_**

"My hands are _freezing_!" Sirius snarled through chattering teeth.

"I can't feel my face anymore," James said, running a finger down his numb left cheek.

"I think my hands are bleeding," Peter noted, looking down at the red snow below his hands.

"Mine too," Remus said, holding up his own bleeding palms, which were visible through his torn gloves. "Bloody beasts are sharp."

"You think Kettleburn would've told us these things can cut our hands open," James remarked, handing Remus and Peter handkerchiefs for them to wrap around their bloody palms. "You two didn't even catch those ones."

"For slimy little things, they're fast," Remus said.

"The man's mental, that's all there is to it," Sirius concluded.


	29. Holiday Happenings

Chapter Twenty Nine  
Holiday Happenings

Professor Kettleburn's class of Gryffindor and Slytherin third years was a disgruntled bunch. The grounds were coated with three feet of freshly fallen snow, making it incredibly difficult to walk down to the edge of the Forbidden Forest where the class was held. They had progressed on from Flobberworms to a creature even less interesting – Caterfaeries. These creatures were faeries without the gift of flight, and were as hairy as the everyday caterpillar. The only difference was that they were roughly the size of a Flobberworm, without the slime factor. The reason for their disgruntlement – the Caterfaeries escaped.

Normally if any of the disliked creatures ran, or crawled, to freedom, the class wouldn't be devastated. However, Professor Kettleburn had made it his class's mission to find the escapees and return them. The Gryffindors and Slytherins were crouching down on their knees, walking awkwardly around to find the creatures, who could conveniently camouflage themselves. The way to find them was to run a hand along the snowy surface to detect any hairy crawlers. Another downside was that if the Caterfaerie was rubbed the wrong way, the rubber gloves would rip open due to the unusually sharp hairs.

The students were grumbling miserably, their legs sore, their socks saturated with snow, and their hands freezing. Some students silently cursed Kettleburn and his undying love for all boring creatures. At any rate, each house should have been given fifty points automatically for putting up with this task. Kettleburn did assist, but very little. He stood by the empty crates and waited for his charges to return. Why had they not thought to escape like the stupid bugs?

"My hands are _freezing_!" Sirius snarled through chattering teeth.

"I can't feel my face anymore," James said, running a finger down his numb left cheek.

"I think my hands are bleeding," Peter noted, looking down at the red snow below his hands.

"Mine too," Remus said, holding up his own bleeding palms, which were visible through his torn gloves. "Bloody beasts are sharp."

"You think Kettleburn would've told us these things can cut our hands open," James remarked, handing Remus and Peter handkerchiefs for them to wrap around their bloody palms. "You two didn't even catch those ones."

"For slimy little things, they're fast," Remus said.

"The man's mental, that's all there is to it," Sirius concluded.

The boys were broken out of their search by a high-pitched shriek. They looked up to see Lily Evans shouting for someone to get something out of her hair. A Caterfaerie had attached itself to her head and now matched the same shade of red as her hair. Snape was trying to get her to remain still long enough for him to pull it out, but Lily was hopping up and down in place, yanking at her hair in an attempt to get it out.

"Lily!" Snape shouted. "You're going to hurt yourself if you grab at it like that."

"Snivellus is right, Evans," James said, leaping to his feet.

Sirius turned to James. "Snivellus?"

"It's catchy."

"Can't argue there."

Snape, or Snivellus as he was now called, managed to steady Lily long enough so he could pull the bug out of her hair. The Caterfaerie morphed instantly to the colour of Snape's pale hand. Kettleburn, who had seen Lily's panic, brought the box over for Snape to deposit the creature into. Kettleburn looked around at his disgruntled and cold students.

"I suppose we can call it a day. Get on back to the castle, warm up."

The class could hardly resist cheering loudly and obnoxiously as they trekked through the snow back to the castle. As far as they were convinced, that lesson had been an entire waste of time. For them, it was good riddance to the Caterfaeries. None of them wanted to keep in touch, both literally and figuratively. The boys broke apart from the group after James gestured for them to do so.

"What's up?" Sirius asked curiously, as he, Remus and Peter huddled around James.

"I was just thinking… d'you think Snape was involved with those students we saw?"

"I thought we were dropping this," Remus said reproachfully.

"Come on, you can't tell me you weren't thinking the same thing."

"Actually I wasn't."

"Think about it now, then!" He bent forward, lowering his voice. "He's just the type of person to go around with that lot."

"He's only thirteen, James. I don't think they want kids."

"Who knows with scum like them?"

"Remus is right, James. Malfoy's going to want some older people. I hear him talking when he comes round to my house. He doesn't set much store by kids."

"You've heard him talking about this stuff?" Peter asked dubiously.

"Not that, just kids in general. He doesn't think anybody's useful until they're at least sixteen. Unless he knew them really well, he wouldn't trust them until that age."

Remus frowned. "Can we just not talk about this?"

James shook his head wildly. "You can't deny there's something going on."

"I'm not denying it. It doesn't involve us, so why are we getting so involved?"

James opened his mouth, no doubt prepared with another protest, but Sirius silenced him with a look. It was true that this did not involve them, yet it did. These people had proven they were capable of hexing a few kids, who was to say they wouldn't do it again? Remus also had a point; it wasn't any of their business what was going on. If they delved any deeper they would only find trouble they could not cope with, at least not yet. It was only a matter of time before it involved them, and everyone they cared about. Sirius, personally, wanted to face that trouble, whatever it was.

* * *

Needless to say, that was the last time Professor Kettleburn's Care of Magical Creatures class saw the Caterfaeries. In fact, the following day the little worms managed to escape, this time to be lost forever. Kettleburn assumed that they had found a wolf or centaur in the forest and had been stomped on, or else eaten. The class did not even try to feign sorrow over the blow. They didn't go as far as to cheer, but their glee was evident as they began to learn about unicorns. Unicorns weren't actually on the third year syllabus, but Kettleburn felt bad about the torment he had put his class through and wanted to repent for it.

One night in early December James and Peter were sitting in the common room going over their Potions homework, while Sirius was serving detention and Remus was picking something up from Professor McGonagall's office. Professor Slughorn had assigned them to research the properties of a Shrinking Solution. They all thought Slughorn was a wonderful teacher, but his essays were always killers, no matter what they were about. Peter's nose was blotted with ink and his mind raced through everything he knew about the particular potion, while James bit the edge of his quill, spitting out the bits of feathers that caught in his teeth.

"I can't think of anything else!" Peter shouted, slamming his quill down and glaring at the offending essay.

"You think I'm a fountain of information?" James questioned sardonically. Each of the boys still had two feet left to write.

The common room entrance opened and they were met with Remus's voice, a welcomed distraction. "Oi! Help me, you two!" They looked up to see Remus struggling with a very large box. Curious about what he could possibly have, James and Peter leapt up to assist their friend.

"What the bloody hell is this?" James asked when they set it down on Remus's bed in the dormitory.

"Sirius's Christmas present," Remus replied, pulling his shoes off. "I sent the money to my parents over the weekend and Dad went to pick it up."

"I thought you said your dad could do something that'd disguise it?" Peter asked, peering at the box as if it might turn into a fuzzy bunny.

"He did." Remus pulled out his wand and tapped the box five times and ran his wand along the centre. "Open it."

Peter slit open the Spellotape and there was a large book entitled _What to Do When Your Parents Are Gits_ rested in the packaging. He picked up the book and flipped open to the first chapter – _Help Me, My Parents Are Morons_. "Looks like the perfect book for Sirius. Wouldn't he get in trouble, though?"

Remus shook his head. "It changes every time you do the spell." He pocketed his wand. "My dad said that once the spell is performed, you just have to do what I did. To turn it back into the phonograph you have to do the same thing backwards."

"So can you turn it into that thing now?" James asked impatiently. He wanted to see exactly what they had paid for. He had seen one at Remus's, but he thought that Sirius's might look different.

"Of course." Remus performed the motion, only backwards. The book shrunk and grew until it resembled Remus's phonograph, except it had Sirius's name in curvy writing on the needle. "You guys will have to keep it here."

"Are you sure you don't want to stay at the castle this year?" Peter asked. Remus had told them that he would be going home, once again, for the Christmas holidays. James, Sirius and Peter would be staying at the castle. Sirius couldn't stand to go home again; Peter's parents were going to a wedding in Germany, a wedding that Peter was not invited to. James's house was being renovated and his parents didn't want him to get in the way. Remus, on the other hand, thought it was best that he went home. It was going to be his family's first Christmas without his grandparents. He knew his father was going to be upset. He had to be there.

"I'm sure. We'll all spend the holidays here next year."

Suddenly they heard a voice approaching the dormitory. "I hate her!" Sirius burst through the doorway, while James, Remus and Peter huddled around Remus's bed, blocking the phonograph out of view. Sirius knew what his present was, but they did not want him to have an early look.

"Who do you hate?" James asked casually, as if they weren't hiding anything.

"Professor Jankes." Sirius practically spat the name, his face contorted in anger.

"Your Muggle Studies professor?" Peter was confused. Sirius had always given them the impression that he enjoyed Muggle Studies and liked the teacher. What had brought on this sudden change?

"Yes, the old bat."

"What happened?"

"She has me alphabetizing her entire library, five hundred and fifty seven _bloody_ books. Then she has me clean the whole classroom the Muggle way!"

"Well, she _is_ the Muggle Studies professor," Remus pointed out. Professor Jankes was probably just trying to show Sirius the trials of being Muggle.

"Doesn't mean she has to make me act like one!"

"Get a grip, mate. It was you who hexed those books to follow Snivellus around," James told his best friend.

"It's not like any of them caused any damage to his head. They just dented it a bit." He sighed exasperatedly and finally stopped to really look at his friends. They were standing together in a rather rehearsed away, and their smiles were strange. "What are you three hiding?"

"Nothing," they said simultaneously, moving closer together.

"What's on the bed?"

"My cloak," Remus replied quickly.

"Then why are you hiding it?"

"Peter had an upset stomach, lost it on my cloak."

Dubious, Sirius sniffed the air. "Doesn't smell like he did."

"_Scourgify_ is really handy, isn't it, Remus?"

"It is, James."

Sirius observed Peter, who looked to be in perfect health. "He doesn't look sick to me."

"I'm a fast healer."

"What are you three hiding?" Before they could do anything, Sirius had pushed past them. "My Christmas present?"

"Yes, you git!" the three yelled.

Sirius leaned forward to get a better look at it. "Hey, it has my name on it."

"And soon it'll have your face on it," James added under his breath so only Peter and Remus could hear. "Honestly, Sirius, you couldn't have waited a few more weeks?" he asked Sirius, loud and annoyed.

"I already knew what it was!" Sirius said defensively.

Neither boy said anything else; they knew it was pointless to argue with Sirius about something as important as his Christmas present. Instead, the three contented themselves with flinging every object that would not cause severe damage in his direction.

* * *

Christmas morning dawned early in the castle. Actually, there was no option as Sirius set his own mental alarm clock at seven sharp. James and Peter protested, knowing all the time that it was a futile attempt. When Sirius wanted to wake up, especially on Christmas morning, there was no way to make him go back to sleep. He had to have everyone up with him. James and Peter did manage to buy some time by pulling the hangings around their beds under the pretense of getting dressed, but actually trying to catch a few more winks of sleep. It was only after they took twenty minutes to get dressed that Sirius caught on.

Each boy had a pile of presents at the foot of their beds, waiting patiently to be unwrapped. Sirius ignored the pile and walked over to his phonograph, which had been unceremoniously left on the desk after the day it arrived. He went to put on a record. There was only one problem – there was already one there. He stared at it, wondering where it could have come from. It was unlabeled, unlike all his other ones his friends had given him, and he could not remember placing it there. Shrugging, he put it on. Through a faint scratching sound, he could hear a familiar voice.

_First off, don't ask me how I did this because I'm not telling you because you are a git._ Sirius rolled his eyes. Remus, of course… s_econdly, you're a git. But I covered that already. Thirdly, next time we tell you that Peter lost it on my cloak, you should believe us because we'll probably be telling the truth. _Sirius rolled his eyes; he already had prior knowledge to his Christmas present, so why was Remus getting upset about it? _And no one cares that you already knew about it, it's the principle of the thing. Lastly, next year we're getting you a sack of pocket lint. Just thought you'd like to know… Happy Christmas._

Sirius picked up the needle as his friend's voice faded away and replaced the record in a vacant pocket he found, assuming that Remus had left it there for that purpose. He made his way back to his bed to unwrap the rest of his gifts. Once the three boys had opened, compared, and stowed away their presents, they dressed and headed down to the common room. There were only a few Gryffindors who remained behind. Cory Hamilton sat by the fire, reading a book. He stayed behind every year; the rumor around Gryffindor was that his parents didn't want him to come home. Lily Evans sat on the couch, petting her cat, Slink.

The boys sat around the table, much to the disconcertment of Lily. However, instead of being rude to them, she forced herself to maintain a level of politeness. "Happy Christmas," she said, letting her cat down.

"Happy Christmas," the boys replied. Slink pranced over and sat down beside James, allowing him to scratch her behind the ears.

"You have a friendly cat, Evans," he remarked. "Where'd she learn that?"

Lily laughed sarcastically. "Funny, Potter."

"What are your parents doing for the holidays, Lily?" Peter asked, skilfully avoiding the fight that would inevitably follow. He was not the only person who did not wish to see James in makeup again.

"They're going on a vacation to Sweden."

Sirius looked confused. "And _you're_ not going with them? What about your sister?"

Lily appeared shocked that Sirius even knew she had a sister. "She's staying with some friends. They wanted to have a private vacation."

James huffed. "Privacy? Don't parents know that's impossible when they have kids?"

"My parents have two," Sirius added. "Actually, I like that they can't get privacy when me and Regulus are home."

"I'm sure they love having you here then, mate," Peter chided.

"They love when _I'm_ here; they want their beloved Reggy home."

Lily, who knew very little about Sirius's home life, watched the exchange with mild interest. She couldn't understand why Sirius would say something like that. Judging by the tone he used, she knew it was something she should not further question, particularly because she hadn't been on real speaking terms with these boys since first year.

"Who else is here?" Peter asked. "Who stayed at the castle, I mean."

"Reggy's home," Sirius chimed in as though he really cared.

"Severus Snape stayed," Lily told them.

"Snivelly didn't want to go home?" James asked, feigning a shocked expression. He didn't seem to notice the glare that quickly ran across Lily's face.

"No, he didn't," she replied coolly. "Xeno Lovegood stayed too."

"He's weird, that one," Sirius commented.

"He's interesting, at least," Peter said fairly. The others couldn't argue with this. Xeno Lovegood was eccentric, to say the least. He tended to believe in things that could not be proven to exist; there was never any evidence to suggest either way. His main belief was that there was a creature called the Crumple-Horned Snorkack. No one was quite sure where he had gotten the idea, or the name, but everyone was certain that this particular animal roamed no land. There was no use in trying to point this out to Xeno; he was set in his beliefs.

"Like I said, he's weird," Sirius insisted after Lily mentioned Xeno's obsession with these creatures.

Lily frowned at this comment, but said nothing further. "The feast is going to start soon."

Sirius jumped in his spot. "Food!" And he sped off towards the portrait hole.

James sighed exasperatedly and rolled his eyes at Lily. "You _had_ to say that, didn't you?" He shook his head. "Come on, Peter. Let's go stop Sirius before the food's gone. Evans." He nodded at Lily.

He led Peter through the portrait hole, noting that Sirius had made good time. By the time they reached the Great Hall, Sirius was sitting comfortably at the one long table in the centre of the room, where the four house tables should have been. The table was empty, save for Sirius; the food had not yet appeared on the golden platters. Shaking their heads at the absurdity of their friend's actions, Peter and James sat down on either side of him.

"The feast isn't starting for a while, Sirius," James said in a voice suggesting that he was speaking to a five-year-old.

"Lily said soon," Sirius whined, playing the part of the little boy.

After another twenty minutes the professors began filing into the Great Hall. Some of them, such as the Muggle Studies teacher and Professor Kettleburn, looked shocked to see the boys already there. Others, like Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall, looked as though they expected no less.

"Happy Christmas, boys," Dumbledore said cheerfully, taking the vacant seat at the head of the table.

"Happy Christmas, Professor," the boys replied in unison.

Not long after everyone settled at the table did Lily Evans appear with Severus Snape, in conversation about the notorious Caterfaeries. Professor Kettleburn grinned innocently, shifting in his seat. He had not forgotten his students' intense dislike for the creatures and their overwhelming joy when their search for them was declared a failure. The red head and the Slytherin took the seats opposite the boys, not breaking their conversation except to eat whatever they put on their plates. Xeno Lovegood drifted in moments later, lost in a daze and looking as if he had walked in by mistake.

The boys spent their time pulling every cracker within reach, until their laps were barely visible through the pile of gifts they accumulated. James, who had found a purple wizard hat and had no use for it, offered it to Professor Dumbledore, who gratefully accepted. As the feast wore on the cheerful talk turned to more serious matters amongst the professors. They wouldn't come right out and say what it was, noting the presence of the students, but it didn't keep them from asking very vague questions.

"Did you get those papers, Samuel?" Professor McGonagall asked Professor Handlin as she was cutting a piece of turkey.

"Yes, he sent them to me last night, Minerva," Handlin replied, fiddling with the Sneakoscope he found in one of the crackers. Professor McGonagall nodded, seemingly satisfied. Professor Dumbledore, his new purple hat perched on his head, leaned forward and said something quietly to the Transfiguration professor that the boys strained to hear. Unfortunately, they could catch nothing.

"Wonder what they're talking about," Sirius hissed to James and Peter, who shrugged in response. They were just as curious.

"That is not for you to hear, Mr. Black," Professor McGonagall said curtly.

The boys soon got up to leave, followed almost instantly by Lily, Snape and Xeno. The boys were under the pretense of going back up to the common room, only so the professors would continue their conversation. When their fellow students passed by, they doubled back to the entryway to the Great Hall and hid just outside the doorway. Now that they supposed their students were gone, nothing was stopping the professors from talking freely.

"There was an attack," Professor Dumbledore was saying gravely. "But it was kept out of the papers."

"How did they manage that one, Albus?" Handlin asked, surprised. "The _Prophet_ gets their hands on everything the Ministry misses."

Dumbledore smiled ruefully. "I have friends in the newspaper business. Harry Lupin is quite skilled at making sure nothing is printed that I don't want printed."

"You want an attack on Muggles that was clearly done by wizards to go unnoticed?"

"Not yet," Dumbledore replied. "The public will know, but we don't want to cause such an alarm as of now."

"What about last year when David Gordon was killed? Or Filius's sister the year before? You told the students about that one."

"Their professor was going to be missing, Samuel. They had the right to know why," Professor McGonagall reminded him.

"As for David, the students were bound to wonder why Alice disappeared from school."

"But this is so unlike you, Albus," Handlin insisted. "You usually _want_ people to know what is happening."

"And they _will_ know. When the time is right, the public will know what is happening. That is all I will say on the matter."

It was clear that the conversation was over, so the boys retreated to Gryffindor Tower. None of the boys could deny it, they all agreed with Professor Handlin. It only made sense for the public to know if something was going wrong. It had been done before, so why not now? It was reported when Mr. Gordon died, and Professor Flitwick's sister. Maybe Dumbledore didn't want it advertised over the holidays? But that also seemed so unlike Dumbledore. Maybe the Headmaster was worried, though they found that so impossible. Nothing ever worried Dumbledore… unless what was happening was something that had never happened before. Something he didn't know how to handle.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Thirty - Back to the Forest**_

"Sirius!" Remus panted, running at full speed to keep up with Sirius's pace. "What are you doing?"

"What do they want with him?" Sirius asked himself, seeming to not even hear Remus.

"Maybe they were just talking to Regulus. It can't be that bad."

"Those are the gits we followed into the forest!"

"I know that, but that doesn't mean-"

"What else could it mean, Remus?"


	30. Back to the Forest

Chapter Thirty  
Back to the Forest

"I got it!"

"Nice one, James."

"Awesome."

The boys were assembled in the Room of Requirement, trying once more to attempt their Patronuses. James, who had progressed the furthest of he, Sirius and Peter, had finally managed to produce a Patronus. It happened very quickly, as it had when Remus managed it, but they could just make out a deer shape, though they were sure it was not a deer exactly. It was different, but they couldn't be too sure what it was. James was standing in the centre of the room, his wand poised, staring at the spot where the silvery creature had once been floating. He lowered his wand, pocketed it, and whirled around.

"Your turn," he said to Sirius.

Sirius glanced at his watch, it was nearing curfew. "I'll try next time. We should be getting back." He crossed the room to where Remus was dozing in his chair. The full moon had been two days ago and Remus still had not fully recovered. He lightly shook Remus's shoulder. "Wake up." Remus muttered some incoherent nonsense and sleepily swatted Sirius's hand away. He shifted in his seat and continued sleeping. Sirius continued to shake his friend's shoulder.

"Five more minutes…"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Fine, we'll just leave you here for Filch to find." This didn't seem to bother Remus. "Come on, mate." Still, he had no progress. "James." Sirius jerked his head towards the other side of Remus and James instantly knew what Sirius was going to do. The boys hitched Remus up by his shoulders and began dragging him towards the door.

This woke Remus up. His eyes opened and he looked around, wondering why he was moving without his permission. "What are you buggers doing?"

"Aww… he's awake," Peter said sentimentally, looking at Remus as though he were an adorable little baby.

"Put me down!"

"Good thing he's easy to carry," James said to Sirius from behind Remus's head.

"Put me _down_!"

"I know," Sirius agreed wholeheartedly. "If this had been _you_, on the other hand, I think my back would break."

"Put me down, you idiots!"

"Shut up, Black."

"Bloody hell, I want my feet on the floor!"

"I mean, I'd be like an old man trying to carry you, bent down under your weight."

"PUT ME DOWN!" Startled, James and Sirius dropped Remus to the floor. Remus stood up, straightening out his robes, glaring daggers at his friends.

"You could've _asked_, Remus," James said, looking insulted.

"Wouldn't have made any difference," Remus shot back, leading the way down the corridor. He looked over his shoulder and saw that only Peter was following. James and Sirius were rooted to the spot. Remus grinned to himself, caught Peter's eye, and jerked his head towards the two. Peter knew instantly what Remus was going to do. The two quickly doubled back, hitched James and Sirius up by the elbows and began dragging them down the hall.

"Put me down!" the boys yelled together.

"You were right, Sirius," Remus remarked thoughtfully. "James_ is_ heavy."

* * *

After James's accomplished Patronus, Sirius began making progress. He couldn't achieve a distinguishable shape; he only achieved a fog of silver. Shape or fog, Sirius didn't care, he was getting somewhere at last. James was working on keeping his Patronus long enough to discover if it was really a deer or something else. Peter was still having difficulty coming up with a decent memory. Remus helped him in that area, though between the both of them they were coming up fruitless. Remus would sit with Peter, while James and Sirius practised, and they would put their heads together, thinking up the happiest memory Peter had. As of yet, they had nothing.

Near the end of January the boys opened a copy of the _Daily Prophet_ and saw the article Handlin and Dumbledore had been talking about had finally been printed – the one about the Muggles killed by wizards. Dumbledore must have gotten Harry Lupin to give the okay to print it. They had filled Remus in on the conversation when he returned from the break and he was, naturally, surprised that his father was helping Dumbledore with this. He knew he should have expected this. He was aware that his father and Dumbledore talked to each other. He never realised that his father would be doing such favours for the Headmaster, however.

Unlike the previous year, when Alice Gordon's father was murdered and the year before that when Professor Flitwick's sister was found dead, this bit of news did not induce a craving for information amongst the students. It may have been because it was only a group of Muggles, or because it was getting tiresome to worry about whoever was behind it. Many students, surprisingly, were failing to notice the reoccurrence of the mark in the sky, which still had yet to be labeled. The fact was that whenever a murder occurred, this mark was hovering in the sky above the area where the murder had taken place. The same person was behind it, yet hardly any of the students were troubling themselves about it.

The boys sat in the dormitory, Sirius's phonograph playing lazily in the background. They were reading through a copy of the _Prophet_, talking quietly about the article of the Muggle killings.

"I don't know why Dumbledore would want to keep this quiet," Remus remarked, resting his chin in his hand.

"He didn't really go into why he didn't want to," Sirius told him, recalling the conversation they had overheard on Christmas.

"Yeah," Peter agreed, nodding. "He said something about timing. What was it, James?"

James, who was leaning back on his bed, glanced towards the three assembled on Sirius's bed. "He said he didn't want the public to know until he thought it was the right time." He laughed bitterly. "Of course, everyone has to wait for _Dumbledore_ before they get to know what's going on."

Sirius, Remus and Peter looked at each other; this was not something James would normally say. James usually agreed with everything Dumbledore thought of. James respected the Headmaster, revered him. They had never heard him talking about the Headmaster in such a sarcastic tone.

Hesitantly, Sirius asked, "What d'you mean, James?"

"It's not right of Dumbledore to keep something like that from people."

"He didn't _really_ keep it; he just held it back for a little."

"That doesn't make it right."

Before anyone could say anything else on the matter, the dormitory door opened and Frank entered. "Did you guys hear?" he said when he spotted them. "Handlin's going away for a week."

"What?" Remus asked, perplexed. Hogwarts teachers didn't simply _go away_ during the school year. It was unheard of.

"There was a sign on his door," Frank elaborated, sitting down on his own bed and removing his shoes.

"Did the sign say why he's going to be gone?" Sirius queried.

Frank shook his head. "Nope, just that he's going to be gone for a week."

"Who's going to cover for the class?" Peter asked interestedly.

"Dunno. Maybe they'll get your dad again, Remus."

Remus didn't seem to be thrilled at the idea. The faces of the jeering Slytherins had not yet faded from the first time his father was a substitute teacher. "I don't think so. My dad's better at Charms; he wasn't really great at Defence Against the Dark Arts."

Frank looked thoughtful. "I wonder who they're going to get then."

* * *

The answer to Frank's question was answered that Tuesday when they queued up outside the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. The Gryffindor and Hufflepuff third years stood outside the door, debating rapidly about who was going to be the first to enter and see who was at the door. For one wild moment, Allison Abbot suggested that maybe Professor Crane was back, an idea that absolutely horrified the entire class. Luckily, Lily mentioned that it was unlikely Crane would ever step inside that room again, believing it to be haunted. The five boys, Lily and Alice smirked to themselves; it was their deeds that had driven him from the castle.

Finally, Frank proved to be the first to enter and saw an elderly woman with salt and pepper hair sitting at the desk, writing hastily on a piece of parchment. She looked up and smiled pleasantly at the group of relieved students. They took their assigned seats and waited patiently for the woman to introduce herself. They were all grateful about this one thing – she didn't look as if she would bite their heads off if they made a wrong move. Whispers spread across the room, everyone was still mulling over where Handlin could be. Was it so important that he had to hide the nature of his absence? Or maybe it was too dangerous…

The woman cleared her throat loudly and all heads turned to her. "Good afternoon, class. I am Professor Twikom," she said in a scratchy voice.

The class muttered some hullos, which she took with the same smile she had greeted them with. "Professor Handlin will be away for a week, attending to some business. He has asked me to continue with the lesson you were working on." She consulted her class roster. "Longbottom, what was it you were studying the last time you had class?"

Frank thought for a moment. "I think we were just about to start learning about werewolves."

James glanced at Remus through to corner of his eye. His friend didn't seem to be agitated at all by the pronouncement. This could have been because a kind teacher was handling it. If it had been Crane teaching this lesson, Remus would have something to worry about. Besides, Professor Twikom wouldn't have the slightest idea that one of her students was a werewolf; she wasn't a full time teacher. Why would she have to know? The lesson went smoothly enough; they merely covered the differences between a regular wolf and a werewolf. There was nothing mentioned about identifying a human.

When the class ended the boys followed their classmates out into the crowded hallway. Defence Against the Dark Arts was their last class of the day and they were discussing what they were going to do for the rest of the afternoon. Homework, naturally, was out of the question. When they were debating on whether or not to see what Hagrid was up to, Cory Hamilton appeared at James's side.

"Practise!" he told his Chaser.

"What?" James yelped. "It's freezing out!"

This bit of news did not seem to faze the captain. "We've only got until next month to prepare for our match against Slytherin. You've seen Black play; he knows how to catch that Snitch."

Regulus had been admitted onto the Slytherin Quidditch team at the beginning of the year as their new Seeker. James had seen the youngest Black play and was inclined to agree with Cory. Regulus _did_ know what he was doing. Yet he did not see why Cory was worrying himself, he was the best Seeker the school had ever seen. Resigning himself to defeat, he was dragged away by Cory down to the Quidditch Pitch.

"And then there were three," said Peter. This did not last long. The moment the words came out of Peter's mouth, Professor Flitwick appeared at his side, asking to go over his latest Charms essay. He had a question about some of Peter's reasoning. Peter waved to his friends as he followed the professor to the Charms classroom.

"Now what?" Remus asked, turning to Sirius.

"I'm hungry."

"What else is new?"

"Let's go to dinner."

The two boys followed the crowd of students heading to the Great Hall. As they were descending the staircase in the Entrance Hall, Sirius caught sight of something that greatly interested him. It was his brother talking to the Slytherins they had followed into the Forbidden Forest. There was something different this time, there were more of them. Had they gotten more people since their last visit? What was Regulus doing with them anyway? Did he know what they were up to? Sirius didn't like to think that he did. Regulus should have had more sense than that.

He froze in his place when Regulus parted from the group. The second year Slytherin glanced up and saw his brother, but made no sign of recognition. The group his brother had been talking to departed through the giant double doors into the darkening evening. Sirius forwent any thoughts of having dinner and headed straight for the group. Remus, taken by surprise, hurried after his friend to find out what he was doing. Sirius was determined to find out exactly what those Slytherins were doing and what they wanted with his brother.

"Sirius!" Remus panted, running at full speed to keep up with Sirius's pace. "What are you doing?"

"What do they want with him?" Sirius asked himself, seeming to not even hear Remus.

"Maybe they were just talking to Regulus. It can't be that bad."

"Those are the gits we followed into the forest!"

"I know that, but that doesn't mean-"

"What else could it mean, Remus?"

Remus did not have an answer for this. It did seem more suspicious than he was making it out to be. He just didn't want to think that Sirius's only brother could be taking the path of those Slytherins. They were halfway down the grassy slope of the grounds when Sirius slowed down. He squinted into the darkness; he could only just make out the backs of the group in the distance.

"Wish we had the cloak," he muttered.

"It doesn't matter if we do. It's dark enough for them to not see us," Remus said, catching his breath.

"What are they doing?" Sirius couldn't stop wondering. He wanted to know what they were up to. Why were they still consulting with Lucius Malfoy? What was it they were planning on doing? He knew the answer to that – they wanted to _purify_ the Wizarding race. But who were they answering to? Who was higher up than Malfoy? More importantly, what did they want with Regulus? What was Regulus getting himself into? "I'm following them."

"What?" Remus said, caught off guard.

"They're going back to that place, I know it. I'm finding out what they're doing!" He took off at a dash again.

Remus bolted after his friend again. "You _do_ remember what happened to us the last time we went in there?"

"I don't care!" Sirius called back.

"Handlin isn't here to save us again!"

"I don't need him! They're going to be the ones who need saving when I find out what they're doing!"

Remus knew there was no point arguing. Sirius's mind was set. He could do nothing except join him and make sure Sirius didn't get into trouble. They took the same trail they had before Christmas; only this time there were fewer numbers on their side, and more on the other. This didn't benefit them, but this did not deter Sirius in the least. They weaved their way through the dark forest, tripping over tree roots, getting slapped in the face with branches. Now that it was evening, they could see the crackling fire earlier than they had the first time.

"What happened to being hungry, Sirius?" Remus hissed in a last ditch attempt to make his friend turn back.

Sirius ignored Remus. They crouched down behind a particularly large tree trunk and watched the group as they consulted with Malfoy. If Malfoy hadn't been wearing a mask, they could have sworn he was smirking triumphantly. When he spoke, his voice was full of disgusting joy. "Excellent, you've brought more."

"That's not all," said a Slytherin whose voice they recognised from the previous meeting. The tones in his voice matched those in Malfoy's. "We have some of the younger students interested in what we are doing. We did not bring them this time. We wanted to ask, is he interested in younger students?"

Lucius Malfoy's displeasure at children showed only slightly at this news. Perhaps he was considering them for when they aged. "He is not _un_interested. Which students did you have in mind?"

"There are a few… Regulus Black, for one, was extremely interested in what we were doing."

Remus felt Sirius shift at these words. He shot him a warning look. It would not do them any good for Sirius to spring up and announce their presence. Sirius couldn't see the look, but knew it was there.

"However," Malfoy went on, "Regulus is young, hardly thirteen. Perhaps when he is older he can be more active in our cause. I know his family will like that."

"Except for his reject of a brother," one of the Slytherins they did not recognise chuckled.

"Yes," Malfoy agreed. "Sirius does lack the proper pride of a true Wizard. He shows it so well in the company he consorts with."

Sirius almost jumped up, but Remus forced him down. "Are you trying to get us killed?" he whispered furiously.

The group was laughing, but stopped in an all too familiar way. They knew they were being watched again. The boys were quicker this time. They leapt to their feet and sprinted far out of the reach of the spells that were sent their way. They jumped over branches, side-stepped mice running across the ground, and could just make out the exit. Sirius only stopped when he heard Remus stumble and groan in pain. He spun around and saw his friend on the ground, clutching his leg.

Sirius doubled back and nervously knelt down. "They didn't get you, did they?" He looked back into the woods, but saw that they were far out of range. Remus shook his head. It was then that Sirius noticed which leg his friend was holding. "That still hurts you? It happened almost two years ago!"

"I know," Remus said disgustedly. "But if I step on it hard enough… running like that…" He inhaled and exhaled deeply and seem to relax somewhat. "I'm sorry."

Sirius blinked. "For what?"

"For whatever your brother's going to do. I know you're not going to like it."

Sirius didn't really know what to say to this. "You don't have to be sorry about that."

Remus shrugged one shoulder. "D'you remember that time you wanted to hex Regulus and I told you not to? You said I didn't know anything about it because I don't have any brothers or sisters."

Sirius remembered this; it had been right before their first Hogsmeade trip. "Yeah, I remember that."

"You're right; I don't understand anything about it. But I do know that you're not going to want your brother involved in whatever they're doing."

"Yeah, I don't. But what can I do to stop him? He has a mind of his own; it's not my fault if he uses it for something stupid."

Remus looked at him dubiously. "You know, even if he doesn't act like he does, Regulus does care about what you think."

"He has a great way of showing it."

"Yeah… well… you're right about that." Remus flinched as a pain surged through his leg.

"C'mon, let's go back up to the castle." He bent forward and helped Remus to his feet, swinging his friend's arm over his shoulder, getting the weight off his bad leg. When they entered the Entrance Hall they saw that most of their classmates were still in the Great Hall, which they were grateful for. There would be no prying inquires as to why Remus could not walk on his own. They entered the empty dormitory ten minutes later. Remus lay down on his bed, propping his leg up on his pillow and shutting his eyes, while Sirius sat on the floor, leaning against his bed's footboard.

How had Regulus come to this? It was true that Regulus took part in his parents' insane views and positively loved being a Slytherin. Sirius cringed every time he thought of his brother's emerald and silver room decorations back at Grimmauld Place. He always thought that Regulus had a little more sense than his parents did. He had been wrong. He had been so wrong after what he had heard that night. His brother was going down a path he, Sirius, could not prevent him from taking. The time had passed that his opinion truly mattered to Regulus. Remus had been wrong; Regulus did not care what his brother thought anymore. Sirius was beginning to wonder if it had ever been that way.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Thirty One: Questionable Interests:**_

"Watch it!" James snapped, stepping on the flames in an attempt to extinguish them.

"Sorry," Peter moaned miserably, aiding James in putting out the flames. When the fire was out and the only source of smoke was from the charred remains of the ends of James's robes, Peter retrieved his wand. "I'm hopeless."

"No, you're not!" Remus said encouragingly. "You just need to focus! You get distracted too easily."

"Well, I'm _sorry_ if I can't focus on just one thing!"

"Don't get mad at _him_, Peter," James warned.

"Just think of something happy!" Remus instructed, ignoring the snap Peter had sent at him.

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"People manage it when there are hundreds of Dementors around them, it's possible."

"We can't _all_ be Remus Lupin and get them on the first try."


	31. Questionable Interests

Chapter Thirty One  
Questionable Interests

As the weeks wore on, Sirius did all he could to avoid Regulus. It wasn't terribly difficult, as their paths hardly ever crossed. But, on the occasions when they did, Sirius made sure he could not see his brother. During meals at the Great Hall, Sirius sat on the side of the table that did not face the Slytherin table. He knew he and Regulus were both on the third floor when Sirius had Transfiguration, so he drew out a new route for him and his friends to take. His friends did not argue about this, they knew Sirius needed time to process what he had learned about his brother. Though, because of this, it took them some time to get used to travelling in the new part of the corridor. James and Peter had been filled in by Remus on what had occurred the night they had not been there. It didn't really surprise the two what had happened, although they would not mention that to Sirius.

Sirius had become touchy about anything involving his family. Any mention of Regulus, his mother, his father, Narcissa, Lucius, Bellatrix… anyone who was a member of the immediate or extended Black Family was an avoidable topic. In fact, the only way his family could make him smile was when he heard that his cousin, Andromeda, had had a daughter. She hadn't _just_ had the baby; Nymphadora Tonks was almost a year old, but the news had been kept out of his reach by his mother and father. Andromeda was a disappointment. They did not wish to admit that Nymphadora was part of their family, nor was her father, Ted, a Muggle-born. The only reason Sirius had even heard of it was when he read an article in the _Daily Prophet_ about Ted Tonks speaking out against the harsh treatment of Muggle-borns. It had quickly mentioned the members of his family.

Professor Handlin had returned to school, looking exhausted but otherwise happy. He refused pointblank to tell his students what he had been up to, and they knew better than to ask him after the fifty third time. He picked up with their lessons as though he had not been absent for a week. Throughout his lessons, the students whispered theories to each other about their professor's whereabouts, voicing suspicions as to what he had been doing. Some students, the more dubious Slytherins, ventured that, whatever it was, it was illegal. No one dared to believe this. Despite the overall oddness of the disappearance, they doubted Professor Handlin would ever take part in illegalities.

As for the boys, they were investing their time and energy in the nights they spent in the Room of Requirement, trying desperately to complete their Patronuses. James's was perfected; they had discovered that it was a stag. So he helped Sirius and Peter. Sirius had gotten it with only a little help from James and they had seen that his Patronus was a dog. Remus offered help as well, mostly with Peter, as he had the most patience out of the group. Sirius could achieve his Patronus; he was only having trouble keeping the shield long enough. Peter was having difficulty producing even a wisp of anything. His frustration was showing extensively, to the point where he had hurled his wand across the room, sending sparks with it that ignited the hem of James's robes on fire.

"Watch it!" James snapped, stepping on the flames in an attempt to extinguish them.

"Sorry," Peter moaned miserably, aiding James in putting out the flames. When the fire was out and the only source of smoke was from the charred remains of the ends of James's robes, Peter retrieved his wand. "I'm hopeless."

"No, you're not!" Remus said encouragingly. "You just need to focus! You get distracted too easily."

"Well, I'm _sorry_ if I can't focus on just one thing!"

"Don't get mad at _him_, Peter," James warned.

"Just think of something happy!" Remus instructed, ignoring the snap Peter had sent at him.

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"People manage it when there are hundreds of Dementors around them, it's possible."

"We can't _all_ be Remus Lupin and get them on the first try."

"Merlin." Remus slapped a hand to his forehead. "I'm just trying to help you!"

"I don't need your help!"

"Yes, you do," Sirius muttered under his breath.

"Then make a Patronus!"

Peter opened his mouth and closed it. "What?"

"You don't need my help, show me you don't!"

"I don't know how to!"

"We're not leaving until you produce a Patronus, so do it." Remus settled himself in his chair, gesturing for Sirius and James to do the same. Peter stared at them in disbelief. "Come on, Pete. You said you don't need our help, prove it."

Peter couldn't believe them. They were actually going to sit there until he produced a Patronus? They would be sitting there forever then, because he couldn't do it. But, looking at the expectant faces of his friends, he knew he had no choice. He should at least try. He poised his wand and screwed his eyes shut, trying to find one truly happy memory. He remembered when he was about to turn eleven and thought, for the longest time, that he would not receive his Hogwarts letter. Then, shortly before his birthday, he saw a Barn Owl hovering outside his kitchen window. The feelings he felt were ineffable. If that wasn't a happy memory, he didn't know what was.

"_EXPECTO PATRONUM!"_

A jet out silver flew out of the point of Peter's wand and formed, for the quickest of moments, the shape of a rat. The rat vanished, but it had been there. He had done it. He glanced at his friends, who were grinning at the spot where the Patronus had been.

Remus stood up, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "What was it you were saying about not being able to do it?"

* * *

Now that each boy was able to produce a Patronus, their task was to find the hairs of the creatures they would turn into. Finding Sirius's was easy enough; they would simply take the hairs from Remus's dog. Over the summer Remus would pull the hairs off the Labrador's back and keep them safe for Sirius. Sirius could help Peter out with the rat hairs; Grimmauld Place was notorious for rats. Peter had to admit, he was slightly baffled, not to mention revolted, as to why his Patronus was a rat. He couldn't understand why. James was the one that no one could help. They had no idea where they could get stag hairs. When they had all the hairs they would add them to the potion, which James and Sirius would get working on straightaway. Remus had offered to help, an offer that was quickly shot down. They didn't want it blowing up. James and Sirius decided that the most he could do was gather the materials, Peter would help him with that.

March brought with it the early beginnings of spring. The skies, clouded from the winter, could now been seen blue through the white puffs drifting across. The snow had all but cleared up, something which elated the Care of Magical Creatures classes. The students were now taking their homework outside to do, rather than be stuck in the castle common rooms. The boys took to sitting under the beech tree by the lake to study, read, or to simply be lazy. They were occasionally joined by the Giant Squid, who would propel itself in their general vicinity. One day in early March the boys could be found sitting under the tree.

"Quick, give me a ten letter word for genius and insanity that starts with a D," Sirius said, holding up the crossword puzzle in the _Daily Prophet_.

"Dumbledore," Peter supplied, twirling a fallen leaf around between his thumb and index finger. Sirius laughed and wrote in the name.

"I think you have an obsession with these crosswords, Sirius," James observed. "It's almost as bad as your obsession with food."

"Stuff it." Sirius folded up the paper and pocketed it. He stood up, grinning, and flexed his right arm. "At least I'm not fat."

"How do we know?"

"Do I _look_ fat?"

"Not when you've got all those robes on. For all we know, you could wear those things Muggle queens wear to hide that they're fat. What are they called?" He looked at Remus and Peter for help.

"Corsets," Remus said sleepily, his eyes shut and his head leaning against the tree trunk. The full moon was the next day and he was feeling the effects of it already.

"Yeah, those things."

Sirius sat down again. "You're calling me a _girl_?"

"No, we were just saying that you might dress like one. If you've got anything you need to tell us, Sirius, you know we won't judge."

"Bug off, git."

James's retort was cut off by a violent sneeze from Remus. "Tomorrow's going to be fun, isn't it?"

"Loads," Remus said. "Bones breaking, claws coming out of my hands, hair growing where it shouldn't be. Yeah, it'll be the time of my life."

"Too bad it has to be right before your birthday," Peter said sympathetically.

"As long as it's not _on_ my birthday, I don't care."

"Has that ever happened before?" Sirius inquired.

"Not yet. The year I was bitten, there was one on my birthday. But I was bitten in April." He opened his eyes and looked at his friends. "I hope it never happens." He inhaled sharply as his head received a painful twinge. He stood up and picked up the book he had been leafing through earlier. "I'm going up to the castle."

The boys nodded. "See you later, then," Sirius added.

Remus trekked up the grass towards the giant oak double doors. His head was swimming; he just wanted to lie down. But he had homework to do, he had to write a letter to his parents, and he had a tutoring session with Lily. Why hadn't he thought to cancel that? He knew he was getting sicker earlier than the day of the full moon. He should have told Lily he couldn't make it. Groaning at his idiocy, he squinted at his watch and saw that it was almost time for him to meet her in the dungeons. Veering off his intended path to Gryffindor Tower, Remus descended the cold stone steps into the drafty dungeon.

When he approached Slughorn's classroom, he could just make out Lily's voice. She seemed to be talking to someone, and, unless his ears were cheating him, this person was Severus Snape. Remus knew Lily was friends with Snape, a fact that disgusted, mystified and horrified James. Remus couldn't help but wonder sometimes how the Gryffindor and the Slytherin were friends; they seemed so different. Then again, that may have been the very reason that they got along. He shrugged it off and tapped lightly on the door. He saw that Lily and Snape were sitting at one of the desks bent over an open book.

Lily glanced up when she heard the knock. "Hullo, Remus," she said pleasantly.

"Hey, Lily," he replied, setting his book down on one of the vacant desks and sitting down. "Snape," he acknowledged as an afterthought. He didn't need Lily in a bad mood because he had ignored her friend.

"Lupin," Snape responded curtly.

"Are you feeling alright?" Lily was observing Remus closely now that he had come into the light. "You're looking pale."

Remus smiled slightly. "I _always_ look pale, Lily."

Lily allowed herself a small grin. "Well, worse than always."

"Just feeling a little nauseous." This was true; his stomach was raging a storm that he could not sail through for much longer. He saw Snape was watching him, as if he saw right through his lie. He hoped that Snape was not planning on staying. His potion-concocting abilities always seemed to worsen when the Slytherin was around. He attributed this to the fact that Snape was his first partner in Potions and they had not come off for the better.

"Severus was just showing me an easier way to make the Shrinking Solution," Lily explained, gesturing down to the open book.

Remus pretended to look intrigued. "Really?"

Lily nodded eagerly. "I thought we'd try it. The only way you ever made a really good Shrinking Solution was doing it by accident, so maybe this might help."

"Yeah… sure… let's give it a try."

Snape hovered in the background throughout most of the lesson, speaking only when Lily had a question about his instructions. Remus knew he was going to have a hard time concentrating and the presence of Snape was not easing this. Lily sensed something was wrong and casually asked Snape to get something she had left in the hallway, thinking this would make Remus feel better. It did only faintly. When Snape returned, Remus had made no more progress.

"You can do this," Lily said bracingly.

"I'm trying," Remus muttered, forehead in hand. He was having a difficult time keeping his mind straight. "My hands are just shaking a bit." He had accidentally decapitated a caterpillar.

"Your hands are shaking a lot to me," Snape pointed out as he was stacking some books onto Slughorn's shelf.

Remus was very much tempted to tell Snape that no one had asked his opinion, but refrained from doing so.

Lily bit her lip. "Maybe we should call it a night. You don't look good."

"I'm fine, just tired."

Lily looked as if she was doing it against her better judgement by allowing him to continue. Sighing, she uncorked a flask and handed it to Remus to measure. He peered at the measurements he had etched out on the cup he was pouring it into, unaware that he was seeing double. The liquid dripped over the edges and onto the table, where it promptly burnt a hole through the countertop. Lily jumped back as the liquid made a beeline towards the sleeves of her robes, disintegrating the table on its way. Remus jerked up when he saw this.

"Sorry," he moaned, waving his wand to vanish the substance. This, however, did nothing to alleviate the situation.

"I'll do it," Snape said, whipping out his wand and waving it at the desk. The liquid vanished immediately. "_Reparo!"_ The holes in the desk mended together.

Lily hopped off her stool. "You should go get some rest," she told Remus. "You're too sick to be working."

"I can do it, it's not that hard."

"It's not hard, and you could do it if you were feeling better."

Remus considered arguing again, but his head was telling him that it wanted to lie down on his pillow. Resigning in defeat, he nodded. "Fine, we'll just try again next week. Sorry I wasted your time."

Lily frowned sympathetically. "You didn't waste my time. Do you want me to walk up to the common room with you?"

"No, I'll just go now. See you later." He slung his bag over his shoulder and clutched his book to his chest. It was only when he was out the door that he heard Snape speak to Lily.

"I wonder what's wrong with _him_." His voice didn't sound concerned, as Lily's had. It sounded curious, a little _too_ curious. Remus froze; he didn't want Snape wondering about his condition.

"He's ill," Lily replied simply. "It happens."

"He seems to be ill a lot more than normal." There was a pause in which Remus was sure Lily had given Snape a warning look. "It happens every month, Lily. Don't you think that's a bit unusual?"

"I don't think it's any of our business."

"You must wonder about it."

"Not as much as you do, apparently."

"Have you ever asked him about it? You talk to him enough for him to tell you a _bit_ about it."

"I have asked him; all he would tell me is that it's been happening for a long time. He wouldn't tell me what it was and I won't ask until he's ready to tell me."

"It's odd, every month it happens."

Lily sounded exasperated. "What do you suspect, Severus?"

"There are only a few illnesses that happen once a month and some of them aren't even illnesses."

There was a long pause in which Remus strained to hear any sign that the two were still talking. Snape was trying to figure it out; he was smart enough to realise what the symptoms meant. He couldn't have his condition in the hands of that boy. Who knew how long it would be before Snape used it to his advantage? He felt his headache increase at the thought of what would happen.

"I don't think it's any of our business." Remus was thankful for the air of finality in Lily's voice. He was even more thankful for the fact that Snape seemed to respect her enough to listen.

"Well, I'll be going to the common room, then."

Remus ran into the shadows as Snape exited the dungeon. He waited until Snape was well out of sight before continuing up to the Entrance Hall. As he was climbing the marble staircase a pain shot through his skull, rendering his mind dizzy and his eyes blurry. Clutching his head in his hands, he sank to the floor and waited for the pain to abate.

Through the haze in his ears, Remus heard a voice from above him. "You were listening, weren't you?" It was Lily, on her way back to Gryffindor Tower.

Remus didn't even bother to feel guilty. "It was me you were talking about."

"He was just wondering, I don't think-"

"Stop defending him. I don't want people wondering what happens to me. You know that."

"I don't think he meant anything by it."

Remus bit his lip, refraining from saying what he was thinking. "Tell him to stop thinking about it, will you?"

"I will, okay?" She sat down beside him. "Your head hurts, doesn't it?"

"A bit, yeah."

"You should see Madam Pomfrey about it."

"I'm used to it."

"I've noticed… you've been getting sicker this year than any other. Is there any reason or-"

"I'm just getting older, that's it." He rubbed his temples and stood up. "I'm going to bed."

"Hold on," Lily said, standing up with him. "I'll walk with you."

The two walked in silence the path to Gryffindor Tower. Remus could tell that Lily was still thinking about what could have been making him sick. He wished she wouldn't. It was true that he held no grudge against the girl; he wasn't ready to let her know any more than she already did. James, Sirius and Peter were different; he spent all of his time with them. They were bound to find out. The most he spent with Lily lately was the tutoring sessions. She was a good person, he knew that, but he just didn't want her to know yet. She would know that he was a werewolf one day, but not one day too soon.

They arrived at the portrait of the Fat Lady and saw she was hosting dinner with her friend Violet and Sir Cadogan. They were talking loudly and laughing boisterously, holding their bellies as they chuckled at a joke unknown to the two Gryffindors. Neither Lily nor Remus could make themselves heard over the laughter and Lily ended up shouting so deafeningly that the knight drew his sword, thinking that someone was attempting to break into the tower. When he saw that it was only two students, he relaxed and Lily uttered the password. Remus bid Lily goodnight and made his way up to the boys' dormitory, while she went in the opposite direction to the girls'.

When Remus entered the dormitory he saw his roommates sitting on Peter's bed, bending over a copy of the _Daily Prophet_ that Sirius had been using earlier to do the crosswords. He sat down on his own bed and rolled over so he was facing them.

"What are you looking at?"

The four boys jerked their heads up, clearly they had not heard anyone come in. "Some article," Frank answered, his eyes roving the pages.

"No one's died again, have they?"

James shook his head. "Nope. Actually, it's about some singer who was doing cartwheels on the bar counter at the Leaky Cauldron."

A flicker of a smile crossed Remus's face. "Interesting."

"Here." Sirius tossed the newspaper over. "They got pictures."

Remus sat up, turned the paper over and saw a black and white shot of a middle-aged woman doing cartwheels over the bar in the Leaky Cauldron. Tom, the innkeeper, was standing just at the edge of the frame, watching with mingled curiosity, hilarity and fear. "Why was she doing that?"

"Too much Firewhiskey," Peter replied.

"Figures." Remus tossed the paper back over and Frank caught it between his hands. He lay back down on his pillow and shut his eyes.

"How was tutoring with Lily?" James asked, knowing that that was where Remus had gone if he had not gone straight to the dormitory.

"Fine." He didn't want to tell them that Snape had been there and was starting to wonder about Remus's monthly disappearances. He didn't want to worry them. They were happy sitting there, discussing drunken singers making fools out of themselves. Who was he to ruin that? Rolling over onto his stomach, he allowed himself to be lulled away to sleep.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Thirty Two: Strained Relations and Lifeless Hands:**_

Sirius gasped dramatically. "James Potter, give up on hexing! Peter! The world is ending!"

"Should I get the kids and load them on the broom?" Peter jibed.

"And the dog!"

"What about the cat?"

"Forget him, I hate cats."

"Fine, the cat stays and dies."

"We're going to need a bigger broom."

"Okay… I'll take one with the dog and little Peter and you take one with the luggage and little Sally."

James's head was turning back and forth during the exchange between Sirius and Peter, his limp and useless hand forgotten. "You two are mental."

"Thank you," Sirius said, a large grin plastered on his face. "Seriously, James, you're going to stop hexing Snape?"


	32. Strained Relations and Lifeless Hands

Chapter Thirty Two  
Strained Relations and Lifeless Hands

The full moon shone, illuminating the otherwise dark night. The usually calm and tranquil air of Hogsmeade was pierced by vicious howls coming from the Shrieking Shack. The villagers were used to the monthly disturbance. After three years, it was expected. What they did not expect was the increased violence with which the spirits yelled. Sometimes the yells were more violent than was normal, but never did they sound like this. It seemed that they were more ferocious this night than they had been at any other time, though no one could understand why. There was nothing especially different about this night, at least not to the villagers. Maybe this night was significant to the spirits; the villagers couldn't tell.

The wolf wanted out. It didn't want to be stuck in that rundown, foodless shack again. There were people around; though it could smell them only faintly. The wolf knew they were there, nonetheless. The wolf wanted to get at them, to bite them and scratch them. The wolf wanted to taste their blood, feel their flesh through its teeth. The wolf wanted to hear their screams of agony. But there were no people within reach. The walls barred them away. Those wretched walls, the walls that kept the food out and kept the wolf in. The wolf wanted to get at them, but there was no way to do it. So, the wolf was left with nothing else to do except get at himself. It was better than nothing.

When Remus's eyes opened the next morning he was blinded by the sickeningly white ceiling of the Hospital Wing. Repressing the urge to retch, he tried to roll over onto his side, and retched anyway. He wished someone would turn down the lights, before he realised that it was the sun. Then he wished that someone would make the sun go away. He wanted the clouds to cover it. He had never felt so tired, so exhausted, after a transformation. He had shooting pains in his head, his limbs were on fire, and now all he could smell was his own sick.

_Where is Madam Pomfrey?_ Every other time he had woken up in the Hospital Wing the nurse was at his side, trying to see what had happened to him the night before. Why would she not be there at that moment, after he had had possibly one of the worst transformations of his life? He groaned as his stomach churned and pressed his lips together, praying that whatever was inside of him remained there. _Where is she? _He wanted a potion to put him to sleep or to pass out again. The pain would disappear so he could rest.

The Hospital Wing door opened and the nurse walked in with none other than Severus Snape. The Slytherin was nursing a bloody nose and looked particularly disgruntled. Remus could only guess who was behind this.

"Stop your muttering, Mr. Snape," the nurse hissed. "I have other patients and they should not be disturbed."

Remus groaned, but not from pain this time. He was hoping that Snape would not notice that he was there. To Remus's displeasure, Snape's eyes flashed over to his bed and a strange look crossed the boy's face. Remus turned his head down, trying to shield the injuries that may have been scarring his face. The nurse sat Snape down on one of the empty beds, tilting his head back and pressing the tissue to his face. "I'll get Potter back," he muttered angrily.

"Mr. Potter has already been dealt with," Madam Pomfrey said reproachfully. The quiet of her infirmary was being ruined and she didn't like it. "Professor McGonagall has given him detention every night this week."

Remus rolled his eyes. Naturally James would get detention for an entire week. He knew Cory Hamilton would be upset about that. They were scheduled to have Quidditch practise every night that week. James had landed himself detention put them at a disadvantage. He knew for a fact that, as it was a Saturday, the Gryffindor team was having an all day practise session. James definitely didn't want to miss the Quidditch sessions, so what had possessed him to hex Snape?

Madam Pomfrey had handed Snape a potion to ease the bleeding and moved over to Remus's bed. "Ah, you're awake." She laid a hand on his forehead. "Hmm… You've got a rather bad fever." Remus didn't need her to tell him that. He felt as though someone was pressing a hot iron against every inch of his body. Remus looked over the nurse's shoulder at Snape, who was watching the two intently. "What's the matter?" Madam Pomfrey inquired. She turned to where Remus was looking and saw what was making him uncomfortable.

She drew the curtains around the bed and began inspecting his various injuries. She prodded his sides, checked his pulse, and bent his arms and legs before coming to a final assessment. He had several broken ribs, a sprained ankle, a broken arm, and a number of nasty lacerations. Remus didn't mind this. It was actually better than what he had expected. He had been anticipating every inch of his body to need mending. What he _did_ mind was that he was going to have to spend the entire weekend in the infirmary. Any chance of celebrating his birthday at all was destroyed. Madam Pomfrey left to go check on Snape, who was doubtlessly wondering what the nurse was tending to for such a long. He heard their whispered exchanges before the nurse went back to her office. It was only when the door to the ward opened that Snape spoke again.

"Oh, it's you Black." Sirius was making his customary drop in after a full moon. Remus wondered where Peter had gotten to.

"Ah, it's you Snivelly," Sirius snarled back. "That's a nice shade of red." Clearly Sirius was noting the smeared blood that must have been on Snape's face.

"Potter attacked me behind my back."

"With a nose like yours, you should have smelled him coming."

Remus heard Snape mutter something under his breath, but could not make out the words. All he heard was the infirmary door slam shut.

"I know you're in here, Remus," Sirius said in a sing-song fashion. "Show yourself!"

"Do you have to be so loud?" Remus groaned, his ears hurting.

"I can be louder if you want." Sirius pulled back the curtains around the bed and sat down at the foot of it.

"No thanks." Remus carefully rolled onto his back. "Where's Peter?"

"He'll be in here in a minute. He had to ask McGonagall about something he wrote in his last essay."

Remus nodded slowly. "So, James has detention all week?"

"Yep, Hamilton's not too happy about that." Sirius was fishing for something in the pocket of his robes. He pulled out an envelope and handed it to Remus. "This came for you."

Remus turned the letter over and saw that it was from his parents. He set it down on the nightstand, he would open it later. He cast his mind around for something to talk about. "Did you see that article my dad wrote?"

"The one about that prat Dirk Umbridge?" Sirius responded, his voice full of malice. Dirk Umbridge was one of the latest members of the Ministry of Magic to speak out about people he deemed as half-breeds. This included Vampires, Merpeople, Giants and Werewolves.

"Yeah, that one."

"I don't think I've ever seen your dad write so madly before."

"What was his dad writing about?" Sirius and Remus turned at the new voice to see that Peter had arrived. He was clutching a piece of parchment in his right hand and looking at the two.

"The article he wrote, remember?" Sirius supplied. "We read it the other day."

"Oh yeah, that one." Peter took a set on the other side of Remus's bed. "Your dad _was_ mad."

"He tries not to think about it," Remus said, rubbing a sore spot under his left eye. He knew he had a bruise there, though he could not see it. "How's your essay, Pete?"

"Its fine, McGonagall said there was nothing wrong with it."

"That's good. I told you there was nothing to worry about."

Peter shrugged; he had only wanted to make sure. A sudden grin flashed across his face. "You know what I heard while I was at McGonagall's?"

Sirius's and Remus's interest peaked immediately. "What?" Remus asked, eager for something interesting to talk about.

"Flitwick was there and he was telling her how he heard that Crane's been working millions of Muggle jobs because no Wizard wants to hire him."

Sirius laughed harshly. "I almost feel sorry for the man."

Remus couldn't help but agree. "How'd Flitwick find that out?"

"He heard it from Jankes, who was at a Muggle shop looking for something for her next class."

"Should we feel bad we put him out of work?" Remus questioned, his voice full of mock pity.

"Maybe we should send him a gift basket," Sirius suggested in false tones of thoughtfulness.

"And have it explode in his face?"

"Naturally." Sirius and Peter jumped up when they saw Madam Pomfrey coming over, no doubt to check on her patient again. It only took five minutes before she retreated back to her office. When the office door shut quietly, Sirius turned to Remus. "So, chances of celebrating your birthday are…?"

"Zero to none."

"Yeah," Peter consented. "Madam Pomfrey wouldn't like us making noise in here."

Just as the words came out of Peter's mouth, there was an eruption of noise right outside of the infirmary. Madam Pomfrey emerged from her office, a look of fury blazing in her eyes. Every Hogwarts students' last act of defiance would be to make noise within earshot of the nurse. She yanked the door open and began shouting at whoever had dared disturb the peace of the ward, coincidentally making more noise. Sirius and Peter, who were not confined to a bed, hurried over to see what was going on. Sirius's eyes widened in surprise when he saw who the offenders were. He pushed past the nurse and broke up the fight on his own.

"Alright, go on, get going you gits!"

Madam Pomfrey made a noise of disapproval, but seemed relieved that Sirius had taken care of the problem. She stepped back into the ward and Sirius backed in after her, clutching Regulus by the scruff of his neck. Regulus was struggling against his brother's grip, muttering wildly under his breath.

"Merlin, Sirius!" Regulus shouted, earning nothing but another hiss of impatience from the nurse.

"What are you doing fighting with Lovegood?" Sirius barked, finally releasing his brother.

"I wouldn't call it fighting; he didn't do anything back!"

"Look, I don't think Xeno Lovegood would pick a fight, so what were you doing?"

"None of your business."

"Stop fighting and maybe I'll stay out of _your_ business."

Regulus scoffed. "Yeah right." Regulus glanced at Peter and Remus briefly, a scathing look in his eyes. "Find better friends and maybe I'll consider letting you know why I do things." And he swept from the infirmary.

"You know," Sirius said, looking at his friends. "You two are lucky you're only children."

"I guess so," Peter agreed, shrugging.

Sirius threw himself back down at the foot of Remus's bed and glared at the wall opposite him for a moment. When he seethed long enough, he forced a smile onto his face and engaged his friends in a conversation about their latest prank. Peter and Remus seized the topic with unusual enthusiasm. They knew that the last thing Sirius wanted to think about was his brother.

* * *

March tenth came and passed with no more excitement than if it had been any other day. James, Sirius and Peter had made a point to visit Remus in the Hospital Wing, only to find that he was too exhausted to celebrate anything. He fell asleep within seconds of their arrival. The three boys, now left with nothing to do, as it was a Sunday and classes were not in session, spent the day in the Room of Requirement. They only broke their research when James had to go to detention. There wasn't much they could do at the time; there were ingredients that were not available to them at the school. They merely discussed who was responsible for which ingredients.

When Sirius and Peter returned to the common room at eight in the evening they found Remus resting in one of the armchairs, a book open on his lap. Sirius and Peter took seats on either side of him and Sirius took the liberty of reading the page Remus was on. He didn't recognise the title; it must have been a Muggle book. Remus's mother must have given it to him. It was about a ring and strange, tiny folk called Hobbits. _Muggles are weird_, Sirius thought, grinning. He flipped through the pages, making sure to keep a mark on the one his friend was on, and read lines at random. He closed the book and turned to Peter.

"Can rings destroy the world?"

Peter seemed taken aback by this question. "I don't think so… why?"

"This Muggle guy," he consulted the front of the book, "Tolkein, says they can."

Peter shrugged. "Maybe they can… I dunno."

They lapsed into silence, which was broken rather abruptly by a loud, irritated, "ARGH!" from the head of the common room.

"Merlin, James!" Sirius exclaimed when he located the source of the yell. "What's your problem?"

James, disheveled and angry, was rushing towards them. "McGonagall! Five hundred lines! FIVE HUNDRED! For making Snivelly's nose _bleed_? I got easier when I made his nose the size of his face!"

Sirius snickered at the memory. "That was a funny one."

"Five hundred!" James ranted on, either not hearing or not caring about what Sirius had said. "My hand is dead! _Dead_, I tell you!" He waved his limp hand in Sirius's face. "Look at it! It's pathetic!"

"It's like its owner," Sirius observed brightly.

"If my hand wasn't incapable of movement, I'd slap you with it right now." James waved his hand lightly and it tapped Sirius on the cheek.

"Ow, that hurt." Sirius pretended to furiously rub the side of his face.

James groaned and sat down. "Maybe I should cut down on the hexing for a few days?"

Sirius gasped dramatically. "James Potter, give up on hexing! Peter! The world is ending!"

"Should I get the kids and load them on the broom?" Peter jibed.

"And the dog!"

"What about the cat?"

"Forget him, I hate cats."

"Fine, the cat stays and dies."

"We're going to need a bigger broom."

"Okay… I'll take one with the dog and little Peter and you take one with the luggage and little Sally."

James's head was turning back and forth during the exchange between Sirius and Peter, his limp and useless hand forgotten. "You two are mental."

"Thank you," Sirius said, a large grin plastered on his face. "Seriously, James, you're going to stop hexing Snape?"

"For a week at least, until my detention is over."

"The world has _got_ to be ending…"

"Well, it's not."

"I thought boys are supposed to mature when they get older." The boys turned at the new voice and saw Lily and Alice Gordon making their way through the common room. James wondered if they had been sitting there through the entire pronouncement of the world's imminent demise.

"No, Alice, _girls_ are the ones who get mature. We've got about five years on boys."

"So we're about nineteen when they're fourteen?"

"Basically."

"I was _trying_ to be mature, Lily," James pointed out.

"By saying you're not going to hex Severus for a week? Try for a month and maybe I'll believe you."

"He can't do a month," Peter told her, shaking his head sadly. "He'd explode."

The corners of Lily's mouth turned up slightly, but she flattened them at the next second. "Tell him," she inclined head towards the oblivious Remus, "that I'll tutor him Thursday at half past six."

"Sure thing," Sirius said, propping his elbow up on the arm of Remus's chair.

Lily thanked him and she and Alice disappeared up to the girls' dormitory. James planted his head on the palm of his living hand. "Is she _ever_ going to not think I'm a git?"

"I don't think so," Peter said. "Unless you actually do stop hexing Snape."

"Which means she will never think anything else about you," Sirius added.

"Brilliant," James muttered angrily.

"You're only thirteen; you've got years before you actually have to grow up."

"Unless you want to be able to talk to Lily without ending up in makeup before you turn sixteen."

"Thanks, Peter."

"Always here to help." Peter stood up and cracked his knuckles. "It's nice having hands that work."

"I love how everyone decided to pick on me tonight."

"Not yet, Remus still hasn't had a go at you." He peered down at Remus and saw that any opportunity his friend had to make fun of James was not going to come soon.

"You have a message to give him, Sirius."

"Oh, right." Sirius jumped up and pulled out his wand.

"What are you doing?" James inquired, eyeing Sirius confusedly.

Sirius said nothing. He simply muttered something under his breath and waved his wand until words appeared scrawled across Remus's forehead. James shook his head, but couldn't help smiling. "He's going to kill you."

Sirius shrugged. "What's he going to do? Snore at me?" He pocketed his wand. "We never gave him his present, you know." He dashed up the stairs and came back clutching a soft package to his chest. He set it down on Remus's head and gestured for James and Peter to follow him. Once the three were gone, Remus shifted slightly in his seat and the package fell onto his lap. Remus stirred, his eyes opening slowly, and he noticed it lying there. Wondering where it had come from, he ripped the note off the top of it.

_Your old robes were getting a bit shabby. Happy fourteenth birthday!_

_James, Sirius and Peter_

Remus did remember James saying something about his robes the other day. He pulled off the paper and saw a new set of school robes folded up inside. He grinned to himself, thinking of his old pair of robes, patched and frayed, lying under his bed in the dormitory. He shakily stood up, intending to thank his friends. He collected his book and his gift and went up to the dormitory. He found the three getting ready for bed.

"Thanks for the robes," he said, passing them on his way to the bathroom.

"No problem," the three called back.

Remus stepped into the bathroom and his eyes were instantly drawn to the mirror when he saw something out of the ordinary. He moved closer, his eyes widening with every step he took. Scribbling across his forehead were the words, written in a flaming pink: _I, Remus John Lupin, hereby profess my undying love for all things Slytherin. P.S. Lily's tutoring you on Thursday at six thirty, don't miss it. Love, Sirius_.

The relative quiet of the third year boys' dormitory was broken by a furious yell from the lavatory.

"Sirius Black, I'm going to murder you!"

James chuckled lightly. "Told you mate."

* * *

**_Excerpt from Chapter Thirty Three: Platform Traditions_**

"Nifty spell," James observed, watching as Sirius's wand cleaned his shirt.

"One of the sixth years taught it to me."

"Yeah," Remus said abruptly. "After I threatened to stick your head inside the phonograph unless you figured out how to get that stupid message off my forehead."

"You're never going to let that go, are you?"

"Maybe when I'm twenty."

"Brilliant."

"Oh, come on, Sirius," Peter chimed in, shaking Sirius playfully on the shoulder. "Six years isn't a long time."

"When you're living with _him_," Sirius jerked his thumb at Remus, who flashed a smug smile, "for the majority of those years, it _is_ a long time."


	33. Platform Traditions

Chapter Thirty Three  
Platform Traditions

The Gryffindor common room was loud with the cries of victory. Bottles of Butterbeer were strewn across the floor, explosions of poppers melded together with the raucous cheers. Sweets and their colourful wrappers were clumped together in piles on the floor, occasionally getting scattered as someone unknowingly kicked into them. Seven Gryffindors proudly wore their scarlet robes, which stood out brilliantly against the black of the others. Gryffindor was celebrating their victory over Slytherin in the Quidditch Final. An outstanding three hundred and twenty to one hundred and ninety point victory. The common room was about to burst with the noise.

The week preceding the match had been plagued with fights breaking out in the corridors and arguements during classes. More than once, James had to be threatened with detention as he fought with the Slytherin teammates. Cory Hamilton regularly got into disagreements with Regulus Black, as they were the competing Seekers. Luckily Hamilton was restrained enough to not let the disagreements evolve into full-fledged duels. The last thing either team wanted was for their Seeker to be given detention on the day of the final.

The seven Gryffindor Quidditch team members were in the centre of the room, animatedly retelling the events of the match, occasionally exaggerating the play-by-play. Hamilton had not stopped beaming, much like rest of his team. He stood behind his teammates, grinning down at them, clapping them on the shoulders. They had wanted to give him the big victory before he graduated. Hamilton didn't have much that made him as happy as much as winning a Quidditch match did, it was the least they could do for him. As Jamie Kirkland was going over one of the many spectacular scores she had made, James extracted himself from the group to join his friends.

"Great match, James," Remus said when James sat down beside him.

"Thanks," James replied, the grin on his face widening.

"It was brilliant, seeing the looks on the Slytherin team's faces," Sirius laughed, joyously accidentally slopping Butterbeer down his front. Frowning, he tapped his wand to his shirt and the Butterbeer siphoned itself off.

"Nifty spell," James observed, watching as Sirius's wand cleaned his shirt.

"One of the sixth years taught it to me."

"Yeah," Remus said abruptly. "After I threatened to stick your head inside the phonograph unless you figured out how to get that stupid message off my forehead."

"You're never going to let that go, are you?"

"Maybe when I'm twenty."

"Brilliant."

"Oh, come on, Sirius," Peter chimed in, shaking Sirius playfully on the shoulder. "Six years isn't a long time."

"When you're living with _him_," Sirius jerked his thumb at Remus, who flashed a smug smile, "for the majority of those years, it _is_ a long time."

"Did you guys see McGonagall after the game?" James asked, sidetracking Remus from whatever comeback was formulating in his mind.

"She was in tears," Remus said, chuckling lightly. "She's as bad as the students are."

"Honestly," Peter agreed. "She loves rubbing it in Slughorn's face when Gryffindor wins."

"It's the only time she ever seems _normal_," Sirius adding, grimacing at the thought of the Transfiguration professor ever being normal.

"At least this puts us over the top for the House Cup," James said happily. "The Great Hall looks so much better in red than green."

Remus nodded. "Can't argue there." He suddenly stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out a folded up sheath of parchment. "I forgot to tell you guys, my parents wrote to me and said you three were invited over for the summer."

"How could you _forget_ to tell us?" Sirius asked, feigning offense.

Remus ignored this. "The first two weeks in July, you all can come to my house."

"Are there any you-know-what's?" Peter asked anxiously. He was the only one who had not seen Remus after a transformation. He wasn't so sure that he wanted to see it.

"On the fourth, but it's no big deal. I don't think it will be bad." He scanned the letter once more before pocketing it. "So will you come?"

"Sure," Sirius said automatically. He needed any excuse to get out of his house. He and Remus turned to James.

"I think my parents were hoping you guys would come over again."

"I think Sirius and Peter have wreaked enough havoc on your house, James. They can do it to mine instead."

"Fine, my parents will just have to get over it." He glanced over his shoulders at Hamilton, who was cheerfully retelling one of his spectacular blocks as a Slytherin Chaser tried to steal the Quaffle from a Gryffindor. "It's going to be strange having a new captain next year."

"Who's in the running for it?" Peter asked.

"Biggs is probably going to get it, he's the oldest."

"That matters that much?" Remus asked. He knew that James's fellow Chaser, Lawrence Biggs, deserved the position more than anyone else, but he didn't think a person should get the spot just because of their age.

"Not really. He's the best one of us. He'd be great for the team."

"Hopefully you find another Seeker," Sirius said, cracking open a tin of Fizzing Whizzbees. "That's going to be hard."

James couldn't help but agree. He couldn't think of anyone better than Hamilton. "I hear Cory's getting picked up by the Tornadoes."

"Too bad it's not Puddlemere," Sirius lamented. "Now I have to root against him."

"What's this about rooting _against_ me?" asked a voice feigning outrage. The boys looked up to see that Hamilton had woven his way through the crowd to them. "How could you root _against me_?"

"I hate the Tornadoes."

"They'll be better when I'm on the team, Sirius." He turned to his Chaser. "You won't root against me, will you, James?"

James shrugged apologetically. "I'm pretty attached to Puddlemere. Sorry, Captain."

Hamilton shook his head, grinning. "You've been a great Chaser, Potter." He clapped James on the shoulder. "Keep the team going, your Lawrence's second in command." Hamilton nodded at Sirius, Remus and Peter and disappeared over to Jamie Kirkland, who was failing at uncorking a bottle of Butterbeer.

"Second in command, that's something," Sirius commented, eyebrows raised. "Looks like captainship is in the future for you."

James smiled proudly. "I guess so."

* * *

"WHAT?" This was the reaction of every Gryffindor and Hufflepuff in Professor Handlin's Defence Against the Dark Arts class. Handlin took a step back, evidently surprised by his students' outburst. He waved his hands up and down, trying to calm the anger children. "Quiet, please," he called over the outraged chatter. This did nothing. If anything, the volume only increased. They were trying to understand what their professor was telling them, yet they did not want to believe it. Handlin couldn't have been leaving, he had no reason to. At least none that he could tell.

"I've told you, I must leave," Handlin continued, speaking calmly, leaning against his desk.

"But why?" Frank Longbottom asked fiercely.

"Yeah," agreed his fellow Gryffindors.

"I have business to attend to."

"What kind of business?" James asked, leaning forward on his desk so he could look Handlin in the eyes. He could see no reason why Professor Handlin couldn't tell them why he was leaving.

"It is private, James." Handlin flicked his wand and the robes across the room straightened themselves on the coat rack. "I will tell you that I regret having to leave. You have been a wonderful class, one of my favourites. You are some of the brightest students I have ever seen."

Compliments did nothing to assuage the students' anger at the situation. Could they keep a Defence Against the Dark Arts professor for more than a year? What was going to be the next professor's excuse for leaving the next year? It was true that they had chased away Professor Crane in their first year, but they had done nothing to Professor Jones, and now Handlin was leaving them too? Maybe the position really was cursed. Professor Handlin sighing and ran a hand through his hair. "It is something that I am not required to do, but I feel that it is something I _need_ to do."

The class had nothing to say to this. They knew Handlin well enough to realise that he would not leave them unless it was absolutely necessary. All they knew was that this year, unlike the previous two, they had Handlin for the rest of the year. This would be the first time the third years ever had to take a Defence Against the Dark Arts final.

The boys sat down in their usual seats at the Gryffindor Table on the second to last day of finals week. They had each just taken their finals for their elective classes and were miserably comparing notes. Peter, in particular, looked forlorn.

"I _hate_ Divination," he moaned, piling his plate with lunch.

"Don't turn into Sirius, Peter," Remus cautioned, eyeing the large pile of food. "What did you have to do?"

"Try and find something in the crystal ball. No one could see anything! Except for Jensen Patil, but I think he was lying."

"Just think, Pete, you can drop the class after fifth year," Sirius said optimistically. Peter's mouth dropped open in horror at the idea of waiting two more years before he no longer had to care what his tea leaves told him. "Muggle Studies was nothing. Only… Remus, do Muggles need to press buttons on a lift or do they pull a lever or…?"

"They press buttons, Sirius."

"Bloody hell, one wrong."

James rolled his eyes. "Haven't you ever been inside the Ministry, Sirius? They have lifts there too."

Comprehension dawned upon Sirius. "Oh yeah… Eh, well, it's only one wrong, isn't it?" He proceeded to eat his lunch more happily. "How was Ancient Runes, James?"

"It was okay; I mistranslated one rune, but nothing major. How was Arithmancy, Remus?"

"Fine. Life Numbers, Heart Numbers, all that stuff. Nothing difficult." He took a swig of pumpkin juice. "What exams do we have left?"

"Transfiguration and Charms," James replied, taking out the schedule he had drawn up that morning.

"Cheering Charms, good thing too. Peter could really use one." Sirius patted Peter on the back. "It's only Divination, even Dumbledore hates that subject."

Peter looked up from his lunch, which seemed to have gotten larger rather than smaller. "Then why are we still learning it?"

"Good question." Sirius poked at a potato. "When are we supposed to be at your house, Remus?"

"A day or two after we get home."

Sirius grimaced. "You mean I have to spend _time_ with my _family_?"

Remus knew what Sirius was getting at. Sirius would rather stick his head inside the mouth of an enraged Hippogriff than have to stay with his parents, even for the shortest amount of time. "Want me to ask my parents if you can come straight over?"

"Would you?"

Remus pulled out a sheet of parchment, along with his quill and ink. He poised his pen over his parchment and started writing. "Dear Mum and Dad, Sirius would like to know if he can wear a frilly pink dress and sing the Hogwarts school song in front of the entire student body."

"You didn't write that, did you?" Remus held up the parchment. "Git." Remus grinned humourously and crumpled up the parchment. "That's more like it."

After lunch concluded the boys joined up with Frank, Lily and Alice as they made their way to the Transfiguration classroom. Transfiguration proved to be easy enough. The theory questions were simple, though the practical bit was more of a challenge. They were instructed to turn their teapots into a turtle. In the end, each Gryffindor managed to achieve a turtle, though some were deprived the ability of movement or the gift of a proper head. Even with the difficulty of transfiguring the teapot, the Gryffindors were in high spirits. They had only one final left.

Sirius was right about the Cheering Charms cheering Peter up. When they exited Professor Flitwick's classroom the next day, Peter was literally bouncing from wall to wall with excitement. It took the combined efforts of James, Sirius and Remus to keep Peter walking in one direction, though they did not stop him from babbling about how wonderful everything was. James, Sirius and Remus, also rather giddy themselves, did not have the heart to bring him back to reality. With a successful turn in Charms, the third year Gryffindors concluded their final exams.

With their overwhelming victory over Slytherin in the Quidditch Final, and no severe loses of house points, Gryffindor took the House Cup for the second year running. The Great Hall was once again decked out in scarlet and gold banners with lions embossed on them, looking proud and regal. The chatter at the Gryffindor table was louder than any other as they basked in the glory of their victory and talked elatedly about the upcoming summer.

* * *

The four boys sat in their usual compartment on the Hogwarts Express, mesmerized by the scene taking place just outside the doors. James and Sirius had their faces pressed up against the window, while Peter and Remus had to settle for standing on the seats so they could get the tiniest peeks above their friends' heads. They were staring as Evan Rosier and Jensen Patil held their wands aloft, each ready to send a curse at the other. The boys were trying to decide who would be the first to crack and hex their opponent. Sirius and Peter had their money on Jensen, while James and Remus were betting on Rosier.

They weren't completely sure what had started this showdown. From what they could gather from the raised snarls of the Slytherin and Ravenclaw, Rosier had taken a cheap shot at Jensen while his back was turned. Whatever the damage was, it was not visible to the nosy Gryffindor boys. Rosier's wand rose higher in the air and he took an intimidating step forward. Jensen, however, was not easily frightened and stood his ground. In fact, they saw that Jensen had also moved forward, his wand higher than it had previously been.

"My Galleons are on Rosier," James said, looking up at Peter.

Peter looked sceptical. "Have you see Jensen duel? He's incredible."

They pressed their noses back against the glass and continued to observe the impending duel. They wondered why it was taking so long for either of them to simply shout a hex and get things going. They found the source of this only when James shifted to his left and saw the Prefect making his way over to the two boys. The Prefect broke the imminent duel apart and gave each boy a stern talking-to before sending them back to their own compartments. The four boys settled back into their seats, still debating about who the victor would be if the duel had commenced.

The remainder of the voyage to Platform Nine and Three Quarters was wholly uneventful. Remus dominated ten matches of Exploding Snap before he was taken down by a vicious match of Gobstones. By the time they played the last round, Remus smelled so bad that he was isolated in the corner of the compartment. He suddenly remembered why he hated Gobstones so much. In the end James, Sirius and Peter were overwhelmed by the smell that they used a useful cleaning spell on Remus. It was a relief when the Hogwarts Express pulled up at the platform, the abnormal monotony was broken.

The Lupins, Potters and Pettigrews were assembled a little way away from the train, talking animatedly. Sirius saw, with intense dread, that his family was waiting for Regulus not too far away. What would they do when they saw him go straight with the Lupins? Harry and Anna had both agreed that, if he wanted to, Sirius could go right to their house with Remus. Obviously they wouldn't be pleased. Sirius couldn't help but remember what happened the last time his mother had encounter the Lupins, Potters and Pettigrews. She had called two of his best friends a blood traitor and a Mudblood. Trying to look as casual as possible, he veered off with his friends.

"Hullo, boys," Mrs. Potter said, pulling her son into a hug.

"Hullo," they greeted.

"When are we coming over, Remus?" James asked, breaking away from his mother and turning to the three Lupins.

"I guess in two days," Remus suggested, looking questioningly at his father, who nodded in approval.

"You're coming right over, aren't you, Sirius?" Mrs. Lupin asked.

"If that's okay?"

"Yes, it's fine."

"Sirius!" barked a familiar voice from behind the group. Mr. and Mrs. Black were approaching, Regulus at their heels. Sirius groaned inwardly, this was just what he needed. His father had never met any of his friends' parents, and his remarks were guaranteed to be twice as nasty as his mother's were. To make matters worse, neither his mother nor his father had ever met Mrs. Lupin, yet they knew perfectly that she was a Muggle. They would not be kind to her.

"Where are you going?" Mr. Orion Black asked his eldest son.

"With Remus," Sirius replied grudgingly. "You said I could."

Mr. Black's eyes moved slowly over the Lupin Family, taking in their normal, lower middle-class appearance with distaste. He seemed to be having second thoughts about allowing his son to go off with a Muggle and her half-blood son. "I'm not so sure, Sirius."

Though he fully expected this, Sirius could not stop his jaw from dropping open. If only they had been fast enough to leave without being noticed. "But you _said_ I could." Why couldn't he think of something more forceful than that to say?

"Mr. Black, it's perfectly okay for Sirius to come with us now," Mrs. Lupin chanced saying. She did not seem to recognise the warning glances that were being thrown at her from her son and husband, not to mention the families around her.

Mr. Black laughed derisively. "It's not a question of whether or not it is fine for _you_." He angrily gestured towards Mrs. Lupin. "It's a question of whether or not I want my son spending time with a Mudblood and his Muggle mother."

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter had a horrible feeling of déjà vu as three wands were whipped from their belts and pointed at Mr. Black, who remained quite calm. "Are you going to hex me like you tried to do to my wife?"

"Don't insult my wife or my son," Harry Lupin hissed fiercely. He pressed the tip of wand into Mr. Black's chest.

"Dad," Remus whispered warningly.

Mrs. Black smiled nastily. "Even your son knows where your place in society is."

Remus threw her an angry glance; he had not meant that at all.

"Is this going to become a tradition?" Charles Potter questioned harshly. "Every two years we'll see you and you'll do nothing except insult us?"

Mr. Black pretended to look offended. "I said nothing to _you_, Charles. I was speaking to the man with filth in his family."

"Dad!" Remus gripped his father's arm and held it down. Harry's eyes had flashed and his wand rose in an attempt to hex Orion Black until he was something resembling a slug writhing on the ground.

"Remus, let go of my arm." Remus, despite the intense warning in his father's voice, did not loosen his grip. "Remus! Let go now!" Slowly, Remus released his father's arm, but remained close by in case he had to stop him again. However, he was not fast enough and before any of them knew what was happening, Mr. Black was on the floor with something ugly sprouting off his face. "Get your things, boys," Harry instructed Remus and Sirius. "Come on, Anna. We're going home."

"Get your trunk James," Hannah Potter told her son, taking this as the signal to also leave.

"You too, Peter," Maggie Pettigrew said to Peter, who was watching the situation unfold in shock.

The three families made their way to the platform barrier, not breaking their stride until they heard Mr. Black's voice shout once more through the sprouts on his face. "It will be people like you who go first - Mudbloods and blood traitors! When Lord Voldemort gains power, you will all be the first to die!"

The adults did not pause to listen, but the boys could not help themselves. They stopped to see Mr. Black struggling to his feet with the help of Regulus. His grin was manic and his eyes alight with a glee that could not be compared with anything good. John Pettigrew called for them to hurry up and the boys broke their gaze. As they reentered the Muggle world they could not help but wonder – Who was Lord Voldemort?

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Thirty Four: Loyalty**_

"You can't kill us, Remus!" James told him happily. "You love us too much."

"DEATH!" Remus emerged from the other side of the bed and was holding what appeared to be a cricket bat. James, Sirius and Peter took a cautionary step backwards.

"What is _that_?" Sirius asked, eyeing the bat.

"Didn't I ever tell you my mum played cricket?"

"Put it _down_, Remus," James instructed.

Remus looked a little reluctant, but heeded James's instructions. "What, in Merlin's name, possessed you to dump water on me?"

"A little owl told us," Peter answered offhandedly.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Was the owl's name James? Or was it Sirius?"

"Actually it was named Peter," Sirius said brightly.

Remus's jaw dropped open in disbelief. "Peter, I thought you were on _my_ side!"


	34. Loyalty

Chapter Thirty Four  
Loyalty

"Shh…"

"I wasn't being loud!"

"Sirius, you're naturally loud."

"I resent that."

"Will the both of you just shut up?" Peter glared between James and Sirius. They had to be as quiet as possible and Sirius was snickering so loud that their plan would be ruined. James wasn't helping matters by shushing his best friend, he simply added to the noise. James was clutching a shaking bucket of cold water and he was poised above a slumbering, clueless, Remus. They had had this planned since before they ended the school year, but had decided to hold their plans off until Remus had recovered from the full moon. They did _not_ want to anger him then; they decided to wait until he was well enough to chase them around. The prank wouldn't be nearly as fun without the chase that would indefinitely follow.

"On three?"

"Do it, James." Sirius held his fingers up, counting off to three. With a wicked grin, James tipped the bucket forward and the icy water fell into a flood on Remus's face. The three boys jumped backwards, to avoid getting splashed and coincidentally putting a larger space between themselves and Remus. Remus bolted up with a yell. Hair sopping wet, his shirt sticking unpleasantly to his chest, he leapt out of his bed and slipped to the floor. He narrowed his eyes when he heard the explosion of laughter from his three houseguests.

"You're dead!" he shouted. "All three of you! Death! _Painful_ death!"

"You can't kill us, Remus!" James told him happily. "You love us too much."

"DEATH!" Remus emerged from the other side of the bed and was holding what appeared to be a cricket bat. James, Sirius and Peter took a cautionary step backwards.

"What is _that_?" Sirius asked, eyeing the bat.

"Didn't I ever tell you my mum played cricket?"

"Put it _down_, Remus," James instructed.

Remus looked a little reluctant, but heeded James's instructions. "What, in Merlin's name, possessed you to dump water on me?"

"A little owl told us," Peter answered offhandedly.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Was the owl's name James? Or was it Sirius?"

"Actually it was named Peter," Sirius said brightly.

Remus's jaw dropped open in disbelief. "Peter, I thought you were on _my_ side!"

"We were bored."

"It's seven in the morning, of _course_ you're bored!"

"No, we were bored when we planned this."

"When did you plan this?"

"June thirteenth?"

"June thirteenth!" Remus's hand slapped against his forehead. "Ladies and gentlemen, these are the people I call friends."

"You know you love us," James reminded him.

"I doubt that sometimes." Remus folded his arms across his chest and narrowed his eyes. "Where did you find water that cold?"

"Outside," Sirius said simply. "The lake."

"The lake is three miles away!"

"We've been keeping it cold."

Remus chose to drop the subject. He wasn't going to get anywhere. Besides, he was far too used to the behaviour of his friends, he knew better than to press the matter. "If you three are finished torturing me for the day, can I get changed?"

Sirius looked surprised. "You don't want to spend all day in wet clothes?"

"I'm not a freak like you."

"Fine, let's let Mr. I-Hate-Water get dressed." Sirius led the way upstairs.

Since Remus's room was rather small, only big enough for one extra bed, the four boys camped out in the sitting room. Remus had helped his father set up four beds that seemed to fit perfectly, though under any other circumstances they wouldn't have fit at all. The couch was pushed all the way back against the wall, though they could not move the piano very far. It wasn't in the way very much initially. Remus gathered up the clothes he found on the floor beside his bed, which looked to have been unceremoniously thrown there by his friends. Rolling his eyes and resisting the urge to grin or question his choice of friends, Remus disappeared into the bathroom.

When he arrived in his room, he found James, Sirius and Peter observing the pictures on the wall behind his bed. James and Sirius had seen most of them, although he had added more since their last visits. Peter, however, had never seen any of them, as he had never before been to Remus's house. Peter, like James and Sirius, had been forced into taking and being in some of them. There were many scenery shots that Remus had taken when he and his father had gone camping. He would usually try to get pictures of the sunrises and the sunsets. Sometimes he would see an animal in an interesting pose and take a picture before the creature could notice the flash. There were photos of his dog and many of his friends at school. However, the one that the three were looking at was not one of themselves.

"What _is_ that?" Sirius asked, pointing to the confusing picture.

"The inside of the Christmas tree," Remus told him upon closer inspection. The photo was a mass of green bristles and colourful lights.

"When did you take that?"

"Last year."

Sirius looked confused. "Why did you…?"

Remus shrugged. "I was bored." A small grin appeared as the corners of his lips upturned. "See I, unlike you three, decided not to dump water on someone else to solve my boredom."

"Ah, but the water was a lot more interesting," James pointed out.

"I beg to differ." Remus sat down on his bed. "What do you guys want to do?"

"The lake?" Peter suggested.

"Wonderful, more cold water."

"Come on, it's hot outside."

"Fine, just let me push one of you in?"

Sirius smiled. "Can't guarantee we'll _let_ you."

The boys gathered their necessary swimming belongings and set out for the three mile trek through the woods surrounding Remus's house. Peter was correct when he said it was hot out. The warm air was stifling, making it somewhat difficult to breathe. Remus vaguely wondered how his friends could have made the trip that morning, before realising that it must have been cooler in the earlier hours. The sun was still low in the sky, though that did not lessen its intensity. They knew it would be worse later and, therefore, were grateful for Peter's suggestion of going for a swim.

"You two are lucky," Sirius lamented, pointing at James and Remus.

"Why is that?" Remus questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Living in London means that you can't have lakes or anything around."

"The lake's pretty far from my house."

"James's is closer."

"It is," James agreed. "But I don't go there, only when you lot are over."

Sirius didn't look convinced, however he dropped the subject. They continued on, shifting the conversation to their Animagus training. They would have to work on procuring the necessary ingredients for the potions. Sirius didn't have time yet to get rat hairs for Peter, and Remus had completely forgotten to rip some hairs off his dog. They were still baffled as to how they would obtain stag hairs for James. None of them knew where stags would dwell. Peter was adamant that they could find one in the Forbidden Forest, but his friends weren't as certain. Besides, they were not too eager on running into Lucius Malfoy and his masked friends again in the forest.

They had refrained from mentioning anything about Lucius Malfoy's exploits in the depths of the Forbidden Forest, as it brought about the unpleasant inquires about what Sirius's father had meant at the platform. This man – Lord Voldemort, his name was – was going to go after people like the Lupins and Potters first. Who was he going to go after next? Who else was there besides blood traitors, half-bloods, half-breeds and Muggleborns? Who was this man, anyway? What gave him the right to decide who was worthy and who was not worthy to practise magic? Did he fancy himself as an ultimate ruler? They had not brought up the subject around Remus's parents either, knowing that it would be a sore subject. Anna Lupin was a Muggle and Harry was a half-blood, and Charles and Hannah Potter were blood traitors.

They came upon a large clearing in which a sparkling blue lake rested. They were so far into the forest that they could hear almost nothing of the world around them. The animals did not venture to this area and neither did people. It resembled a secret haven, displaced from all civilization. It was the perfect place to come for the ultimate form of privacy. There was no way to be disturbed unless someone knew of the person's whereabouts.

"Do you ever come here?" James asked Remus as he removed his shoes and socks.

"Sometimes," Remus replied, sitting down and doing the same. "Whenever things at home get loud."

"Somehow I can't imagine things being loud in your house," Sirius said, leaning against a tree trunk and folding his arms across his chest. The Lupins always seemed to get along well; there would be no reason for shouting.

"When I was younger they were."

"How come?" Peter asked, though he had a very good idea of the reason.

"The first few years after I was bitten my parents argued about it a lot. I would get frustrated and leave, sometimes they never even noticed I was gone."

"Sounds like my house. My parents never had any idea if I left. Now, if it'd been _Regulus_…" Sirius sank to the ground.

"My parents had no idea I left sometimes, but if they did they'd be sorry about arguing so much to make me leave." Now barefoot, Remus stood up. He walked over to the edge of the lake and dipped the toes of his right foot into the water. He hissed as he registered the icy temperature. "Merlin, that's cold." Remus noticed the lack of response from his friends and stepped quickly to his left. He laughed loudly as three splashes and yells broke through the silence of the clearing. "That's what you get!"

"He knows us too well," James muttered as he pulled himself out of the water.

"Tried pushing me in?" Remus asked, bending forward so he was eye level with Sirius and Peter. "Yes, I _do_ know you too well." His head moved up and down as he looked at his friends. "That must be uncomfortable," he added with mock sympathy. "Those wet clothes." He sighed and gazed up at the treetops. "I wonder how that feels. _I_ probably have no idea. Wait… yes, I do."

"Do you enjoy the sound of your own voice, Remus?"

"Not as much as you do, Sirius."

Quickly, Sirius shot out his hand, wrapped it around Remus's ankle, and pulled him down into the water. With a shout of surprise, Remus's arms shot out the ease the fall. He rolled his eyes as Sirius, James and Peter burst into laughter above him. He stood up, picking at his wet shirt, already dreaming up ways to get them back. However, he didn't have time to think of that before Peter was shouting out that they should play Marco Polo.

At noon the sun was overhead and so fierce that not even the cool water of the lake could completely erase the heat. Sirius, in order to counteract the weather, suggested they see who could stay under the water long enough, thinking that maybe this would keep the warmth away. It worked until he and James got into so brutal a competition that both of them nearly drowned and had to be pulled out by Remus and Peter. After this not so brilliant idea, the boys sat around the edge of the lake, letting the sun dry them before they headed back to Remus's house.

"I wonder who our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher will be this year," Peter wondered, flicking an ant off his leg.

"Why do you even bother wondering?" James asked, leaning forward so he could see Peter from across Sirius. "We're just going to get another one fifth year."

"We shouldn't get too attached to them," Sirius chipped in.

"Jones and Handlin prove that," Remus concurred. "Especially Jones." He turned to James. "Does your dad know what killed him?"

"Faulty potion, only they don't know how it could have been ruined. Jones was supposed to be a great potions maker."

Sirius looked thoughtful. "Maybe it was tampered with."

"That's one of the Healers' ideas." He picked up a pebble and smoothed the mud off it. He studied it for a moment before skipping it in the lake. "D'you think it could have anything to do with that man your dad was talking about, Sirius? Lord Voldemort or whoever he was?"

Sirius shrugged, he had hoped they would not have to bring this up. "I dunno. I never even heard the name before my dad said it. How should I know?"

The last part came off a bit more defensive than he had planned, but no one said anything about it. The truth was that James was probably right. Sirius had no doubt that Voldemort was behind every single one of the terrible things that had happened since their first year, beginning with the death of Professor Flitwick's sister. The professors had known, their parents had known, yet they were saying nothing of it. Professor Dumbledore knew more than everyone, yet he was keeping it quiet. The conversation they had overheard at Christmas proved it. The boys weren't supposed to know something was happening. Yet they did, and they wanted to know _why_.

* * *

Remus woke with a start. He swung his legs over the side of his cot and shivered as his bare feet touched the cold wooden floor. His stomach was gurgling unpleasantly, his dinner doing a number on him. He crept through the space between James's and Peter's cots, where they slept with undisturbed stomachs, and hurried through the darkness to the bathroom. He knew he should have thought twice about letting Sirius talk him into eating a fourth helping of dinner. When he emerged a few minutes later, he noticed the light on in the kitchen. Curious, he approached it.

"What are you doing?" Sirius was sitting at the table, an empty glass in his hand. He looked as if he was immersed in his thoughts and, judging from the expression he was wearing, they were not happy ones.

Remus took a seat across from his friend. "I could ask you the same thing." He glanced at the clock on the wall – it was almost three in the morning. "Your brilliant suggestion of eating four helpings of dinner was giving me a bit of payback."

Sirius frowned. He actually looked sorry about it. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay. So, what are you doing?"

"Thinking."

Remus rolled his eyes; trust Sirius to give the most obvious response he could think of. "Clearly. I meant, about what?"

"Voldemort."

"What about him?"

Sirius's face contorted until it was indescribably frustrated. "Is he really going to be as bad as my dad's making him sound?"

The dark cloud that had been hovering over Sirius, no matter how much he tried to hide it, since he arrived was finally bursting. Remus expected as much. "Well, he's already done some terrible things… Flitwick's sister, Alice's dad, those Muggles Dumbledore was talking about…"

Sirius had forgotten all about the death of Mr. Gordon. "What do you think he did to deserve it?"

"I don't think he _deserved_ it."

"That's not what I meant. I meant, why d'you think Voldemort did it?"

"Mr. Gordon probably didn't agree with whatever Voldemort thinks. He doesn't believe in that _purity of blood_ nonsense."

"Neither do we. You, me, James, Peter, all of our parents, except for mine, we don't believe that."

"I know we don't."

"Does that mean he's going to come after us too?"

"He might."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. Remus was taking this far too calmly than was natural. "You don't sound scared."

Remus laughed hollowly. "Who says I'm not scared?"

"You are?"

"Sirius, I must be the scum of the Earth to these people – a werewolf and half-blood all in one."

"But you heard Malfoy - they _want_ werewolves."

"Which makes me even worse because I'm not following them."

"Why is this happening?"

Remus sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Because things can't be perfect."

"I know that, but why are things turning out so bad?"

"It's not so bad yet. We haven't seen the worst of it."

"When that does come, what are we supposed to do?"

"Sirius, we're only fourteen. We can't do much."

"That's a pretty bad attitude."

"It's not going to happen _now_, whatever it is. When we're older, that's when it's going to happen. And we're going to know more, and we're going to fight it."

The corners of Sirius's mouth upturned. "That's a better attitude." Sirius glanced up at the clock, it was late. "I just hate that my parents love what's going to happen so much."

"It doesn't mean _you_ have to love it. Their opinions never really mattered much to you anyway, did they?"

Sirius hesitated for a moment. "No, not really."

Remus jumped up suddenly. "My dinner's coming back again." And he ran from the kitchen.

Sirius, feeling slightly guilty that he had been the primary cause of Remus's upset stomach, got up from the kitchen table. He rinsed out his glass in the sink, dried it off, and replaced it inside one of the cabinets. He had never had trouble sleeping before, not even in his own house. His home had an oppressive and forbidding atmosphere about it; the Lupin home was warm and welcoming. If he should have had difficulty sleeping, it should have been at number twelve, Grimmauld Place. But his mind had been foggy with thoughts about Lord Voldemort and those masked figures that were with Malfoy in the Forbidden Forest. They were working together, Sirius knew they were.

He reentered the dark sitting room and saw that James and Peter were still sleeping soundly, unaware of anything around them. He wondered what it was like to have no knowledge of the evils of the world. It must have been peaceful. Ever since they had left Platform Nine and Three Quarters on the first day of the summer holidays, Sirius wished he could have been oblivious. He wished his father had not thought to shout those threatening words to the Lupins, Potters and Pettigrews. If what Mr. Black had said was true, people like them would be the first to go. There was no doubt in Sirius's mind, his friends and their families would be the first targets. Sirius also knew he would be in some danger, but his family name would shield him a little longer.

The Potters were well known for their acceptance of every blood type – pure, half, Muggleborn and non-magical. They had no problems with half-breeds; the fact that they were not entirely human held no bearings on the Potters. They treated House Elves with respect. Willie was one of the lucky elves. The Potters made her feel as if she was a part of the family. Kreacher was treated as what House Elves were supposed to be – servants. Sirius never liked the creature, so he couldn't exactly feel any sympathy towards the menace. If there was a picture definition for the term _blood traitor_, the Potters would have been it.

The Lupins were no better. They were pure up until Harry and his father, who both decided that a Muggle woman better suited them than a witch. For some families, this would have caused an outrage. Harry and John Lupin would have been deemed outcasts, forced to change their surname and adopt a new family history. But his parents had been fine with it; they had loved Anna. John's parents must have been accepting of it as well. Then, of course, there was the epitome of a terrible Wizarding family in the eyes of every pureblood extremist. The epitome came in the form of Remus – a half-blood and a half-breed wrapped up in one fourteen year old boy. If there was ever a reason to eliminate a family, it was because they did not terminate their child the moment he became a werewolf.

The Pettigrews… Sirius didn't know very much about them. He knew they were decent people. John Pettigrew had always come to their aid on the platform and they had raised Peter to become a good kid. There was nothing wrong with them, in Sirius's opinion at least. Even so, they didn't support Voldemort's point of view, this much was clear. They would be another family marked. Sirius never realised how much danger the families of his friends were in. The Pettigrews were pureblood, but they were not_ proud _purebloods. They would be on the list with the Potters and Lupins. Sirius's stomach performed an unpleasant back flip.

Sirius rolled over on his cot when he heard footsteps. He saw the outline of Remus, hunched over with a hand on his stomach, enter the room. As Sirius pretended to be asleep, he could have sworn he heard Remus curse him. Sirius smiled to himself and listened as Remus's snores began to fill the room. Sirius's friends were what mattered the most to them; he sometimes wondered if they knew how much. Remus and Peter were his best friends; James was like a brother to him. Their bond was supposed to be unbreakable, the hard times that were about to fall upon them could not change that. He didn't want their friendship to end. Their loyalty would carry them through.

Sirius swung his legs over the side of his cot and bent forward so that he was level with James's head. "James?" he whispered.

James muttered some nonsense and swatted his hand around, as if he was trying to hit an imaginary fly. "What?" he muttered sleepily.

"You know you're like my brother, right?"

"Yeah… leave me alone."

Sirius fell backwards and stared at the ceiling. Their loyalties were what would carry them through. There was no way their friendship could end… no way.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Thirty Five: Infirmary Visits and Warnings**_

"So Dumbledore really _did_ admit a werewolf into the school?" Professor Twikom was saying. There was a faint trace of marvel in her voice. Twikom did not know about Remus's Lycanthropy, as she had only been a substitute before.

"Yes, he did," Madam Pomfrey replied distractedly. The boys knew she was probably tending to her patient while carrying out the conversation.

"How long has he been one?"

"Eleven years, I think. I may be wrong." The boys heard her sigh as Remus groaned audibly. "Here you go, Remus."

"Those potions help?" Twikom asked inquiringly.

"They ease the pain."

"I feel as though I should know more about this," Twikom continued. The boys could hear footsteps, Twikom must have been pacing.

"Really?"

"I have a relative… A cousin removed a couple of times or maybe a nephew. I'm not exactly sure of his relation to me. He was bitten years ago." There was a pause of silence. "I haven't heard from him since then. I have no idea what Fenrir is up to lately."


	35. Infirmary Visits and Warnings

Chapter Thirty Five  
Infirmary Visits and Warnings

The Hogwarts Express chugged across the rolling, green English countryside on September 1st, slowly making its way to Hogwarts Castle for the upcoming school year. The weather was bright and sunny, with a breeze playing in the air every so often. The white, puffy clouds rolled in the sky leisurely along with the hills as the occupants of the train stared out the windows at them. James, Sirius and Peter sat in their usual compartment, which had earlier been stolen by a band of Slytherin third years and recaptured. They now sat together, James and Peter on one row of seats and Sirius stretched out on the other. The lunch trolley had just departed from their compartment and they were sorting through their sweets.

"Chuck me those Every Flavour Beans, would you, Peter?" Sirius asked. Peter tossed him a pack and Sirius ripped it open with his teeth. "When d'you reckon we'll get there?" he asked, spitting bits of paper to the floor.

"Not for a few more hours," James mused, biting off a piece of his Cauldron Cake. They never arrived at the castle before nightfall, so why should this year be any different? James selected another Cauldron Cake and looked up at his friends. "Did you see those first years?" The first years were easily distinguishable from the other years. Their height was a key factor to this observation, not to mention their unnatural amount of excitation and nerves.

"They're tiny," Peter said, observing some first years that were passing by their compartment. "Were we ever that small?"

"I don't think I was," Sirius said, shaking his head.

"Me neither," James agreed. "You were a bit small, Pete."

"Thanks…"

"But you grew."

"Remus has always been small," Sirius said, sitting up and swinging his legs over the edge of the bench. "When's he getting to school anyway?"

"Sometime tomorrow," Peter reported. Remus had owled him the previous day, asking him to relay the information to James and Sirius. "Whenever they can move him from his house to the castle."

"This is a first, a full moon on the first day of school," James commented, redoing the laces on his right shoe. "Hopefully there's not a second time."

As the boys were halfway through a competitive match of Exploding Snap, taking full advantage of the absence of Remus and his dominating skills at the game, they heard a commotion from outside their compartment. Sirius slid off his bench and peered through the window. He could see that a rather small Ravenclaw, possibly a second year, was caught in between two Slytherin seventh years, both of whom had their wands drawn. The boys didn't recognise any of the students, but they certainly didn't want the Ravenclaw to receive an undeserved beating, especially with the crowd that was hurrying to watch.

As James was sliding the compartment door open, they heard the voice of the Gryffindor Keeper, Oliver Pulliman. He sounded furious and, when he came into view, they could see his eyes blazing at the trio in the centre of the corridor. James, Sirius and Peter exchanged inquiring looks. Oliver hated uncalled for duels as much as the next person, but he was never one to step in and do something about it. They wondered what had brought this own.

"Break it up!" Pulliman ordered, grabbing the back of one of the seventh year's robes and restraining him.

"What are you going to do about it, Pulliman?" challenged the seventh year heatedly.

"I'll dock points from Slytherin before the school year even starts, would you like that?"

Sirius jabbed James in the shoulder and pointed at the Keeper. On his chest was a shiny, silver badge, emblazoned with a P. Apparently Oliver Pulliman had become a Prefect over the summer. The boys continued to watch the arguement between Oliver and the two Slytherins, none of which seemed to register that the Ravenclaw had snuck away. In the end, Slytherin was down to negative twenty points by the time Pulliman had finished dealing with them. Once the two Slytherins had returned to their compartment, Pulliman turned to head back to his own. He caught sight of James, nodded at his teammate and dashed down the corridor.

"I would hate being a Prefect," Sirius lamented, resuming his seat.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Peter asked to no one in particular.

"It would take all the fun out of life."

"I can't argue with that," James concurred, pulling his feet up onto his seat. "Who wants to have to break up fights all the time?"

"You'd rather start them," Peter said, nodding his head understandingly. "You know that's going to be one of us next year, don't you?"

The corners of James's mouth turned down slightly. He honestly couldn't picture himself as a Prefect. He wasn't cut out for it. "Well… yeah. I doubt it'll be me, or Sirius."

"Maybe it'll be you, Pete. Or Remus. Or it might even be Frank. You three are better choices than us."

"Anyway," James plowed on, wanting to get off the topic of Prefects. "When are we going to start working on the potion?"

"I've got the hairs I need," Sirius said happily. "Too bad Remus's dog bit him when he tried getting them off."

"You were laughing, Sirius," Peter reminded his friend. Sirius pretended to look insulted. "Thanks for getting mine. I can't believe I have to be a _rat_."

"How are we going to get mine?" James asked concernedly. They had not figured out any place where they could get stag hairs. "You don't think there'd really be any in the Forbidden Forest, do you?"

"There might be," Sirius mused. "If there aren't, we'll have to think of a backup plan."

"Maybe we should go to a zoo," Peter suggested jokingly. "Those Muggles love keeping animals in cage."

James shrugged, looking as if he thought Peter had something in his suggestion. "If they had a stag, why not?"

Sirius pulled open a Chocolate Frog pack. "We don't need to hair until the end; we don't have to worry about that right now." He bit off one of the frog's legs. "We can get started on it, and the sooner the better."

* * *

James, Sirius and Peter sat by the window of the common room, staring at the centre of the room with their fellow Gryffindors. The tables and chairs had been pushed back to make room for the most grueling match of Exploding Snap they had ever seen, and that including all the disastrous loses caused by Remus. The game had been going on for an hour and a half, and it was a welcome relief from the monotony of the first day of school. The Gryffindors cheered when a spectacular move was made and groaned when someone's move cost them a possible victory.

Their cheers were ruptured by an explosion and then a mass of more cheers started as the victor emerged, punching his fists in the air. The common room was filled with clapping and congratulatory shouts before the crowd dispersed and everyone returned to their own activities. The chairs and tables were moved back in front of the fireplace once the cards were picked up and the smoke was sucked up through someone's wand. A buzz of loud chatter filled the room and the night was uneventful once more. James, Sirius and Peter resumed their seats by the window, where they had been discussing the idea of setting dates for Animagus training.

"What d'you think about every Wednesday?" Sirius suggested, opening the window a crack.

James shook his head; Wednesdays were the nights the Gryffindor Quidditch team usually practised. "How about Mondays?"

Peter disagreed with this one. "Too early." He pulled at a loose thread at the bottom of his shirt. "Maybe we shouldn't schedule our practises? It's too predictable."

Sirius frowned in thought. "Pete has a point," he said to James. "People will begin to wonder what we're up to."

James nodded in consent. "Now that that's settled… what do you guys want to do?"

"It's past curfew, there's not much else to do," Peter reminded him.

"But I'm _bored_."

"What about sneaking down to the Hospital Wing?" Sirius offered.

James raised an eyebrow at his friend. "What's supposed to be fun about _that_?"

Sirius rolled his eyes at the question. "Remus might be there."

"But he's never fun after his furry little problem."

"We can at least _see_ him, can't we?"

James looked at Peter, who nodded in agreement with Sirius. James told them to wait a moment so he could retrieve his Invisibility Cloak. Filch would be waiting for the first opportunity to catch them after curfew. It was only the first day of classes; they would wait until at least the third before they had a detention to fulfil. James returned with the cloak clutched under his robes and the three crept as inconspicuously as they could towards the portrait hole. To their luck there was an eruption of sound as someone conjured up a rampage of frogs and the common room occupants were distracted once more.

The trek to the Hospital Wing seemed to take no time at all. The halls were vacant of ghosts, poltergeists, wayward students and caretakers with their obnoxious cats. They followed the path of torches that illuminated the otherwise pitch-black corridors and soon found themselves outside the familiar infirmary. James's hand was on the doorknob when they heard voices from inside. One of them they recognised as Madam Pomfrey and the other was, they thought, their substitute Defence Against the Dark Arts professor from last year, Professor Twikom. Professor Twikom had been appointed to the official position of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher for that year.

"So Dumbledore really _did_ admit a werewolf into the school?" Professor Twikom was saying. There was a faint trace of marvel in her voice. Twikom did not know about Remus's Lycanthropy, as she had only been a substitute before.

"Yes, he did," Madam Pomfrey replied distractedly. The boys knew she was probably tending to her patient while carrying out the conversation.

"How long has he been one?"

"Eleven years, I think. I may be wrong." The boys heard her sigh as Remus groaned audibly. "Here you go, Remus."

"Those potions help?" Twikom asked inquiringly.

"They ease the pain."

"I feel as though I should know more about this," Twikom continued. The boys could hear footsteps, Twikom must have been pacing.

"Really?"

"I have a relative… A cousin removed a couple of times or maybe a nephew. I'm not exactly sure of his relation to me. He was bitten years ago." There was a pause of silence. "I haven't heard from him since then. I have no idea what Fenrir is up to lately."

The boys had to bite their tongues to keep from making sounds of outrage. Fenrir… She couldn't have meant Fenrir Greyback, the maniac who had bitten their friend when he was only three. But how many boys were named Fenrir that were bitten by werewolves? They couldn't fathom a man – or beast – such as that actually having a family. However, from what they heard, it didn't seem as if Twikom and Greyback were very close. They pressed their ears closer to the door, as the conversation's volume decreased.

"Remus, are you okay?" The voice of Madam Pomfrey sounded suddenly worried.

"He looks ill," Twikom commented, her tone similar to the nurse's.

"Does Madam Pomfrey know Greyback bit Remus?" James hissed to Sirius and Peter, who could give no response. They doubted Remus ever told the story to anyone, aside from them. The nurse hadn't the slightest idea.

"He's warmer than he was before." Madam Pomfrey's voice was so quiet that the boys almost missed it. There was the faint noise of the nurse's heels clicking to the floor as she crossed the room, presumably searching for a potion to lower his fever. "Agatha, maybe you should go back to your office?" The nurse did not sound reproachful, but she seemed to have realised that it was something Professor Twikom had said that upset her patient. If there was anything the nurse hated, it was someone upsetting her patients. The boys rushed to the side as the infirmary door opened and Professor Twikom appeared. They hastily slipped inside.

Madam Pomfrey was standing at the bed in the very back of the ward, bent over, her hand resting on Remus's forehead. She was muttering under her breath, though the boys could not make out the words. She set a goblet down on the nightstand and again said something they could not hear to Remus. Madam Pomfrey bustled about, shutting various cabinets, and returned to her office. Once the door was shut, the boys pulled off the Invisibility Cloak and hurried to their friend's bed. They sat down on either side of him and waited for him to notice their presence.

Remus's eyes were half open and his face was as pale as death. Apparently the words spoken by Professor Twikom had rendered him into a sicker state than he had originally been in. His left arm was bound up in a sling and his right foot was propped up and wrapped in a number of bandages. The cuts and bruises stood out exceptionally on his paper white face and looked worse than normal. Remus seemed to break out of a trance and his eyes darted to his friends.

"What're you doing here?" he asked in a voice no higher than a hoarse whisper.

"We were bored," Sirius said simply. "So we thought there was no better way to solve that problem than to come and visit you."

"What was Twikom doing here?" James asked, wanting to find out before Remus fell asleep again and was unable to answer their questions.

"I dunno… she was here when I woke up before." He inhaled sharply and cringed. "Last night was awful."

"Seems like it." James fiddled with a piece of the bed sheets. He wondered what the best way to ask his friend about what Twikom had said was. He couldn't think of anything that wouldn't come out so blunt. Luckily, Sirius took the problem right out of his hands.

"So Twikom is related to Greyback?"

The little colour that had returned to Remus's face in the past few minutes was drained again. "If she says she is…" Remus muttered, shifting so that he was facing away from his friends.

Peter cast his mind around for a topic that wasn't so uncomfortable. "We were thinking of starting the potion this week."

Remus was visibly grateful for Peter's change of subject. "Really? What day?"

"Probably Friday."

"What do Peter and I have to do?" Remus asked James and Sirius. They had made it very clear that Remus was not to touch the potion, lest it would explode. Peter also wasn't to be trusted. He was not a terrible potion brewer, but his skills were nowhere near as good as those of James and Sirius. This potion was guaranteed to be delicate. They couldn't risk the slightest mistake.

"You two are in charge of collecting the ingredients we need," Sirius told them. "There are some in the student stock, and some in Slughorn's storage room. You guys have to break in there."

Peter looked less than thrilled about that idea. "Brilliant."

The relative quiet of the room was ruptured by a shout of pain from Remus, whose injured foot was accidentally knocked into the bed's footboard by James. The three boys took no time at all to throw the Invisibility Cloak over themselves and moved out of reach of the ever approaching nurse. The office door swung open and the harried and hassled nurse appeared. The boys watched from the opposite wall as Madam Pomfrey tended to her single potion.

"I told you to take that when you were ready to sleep." Madam Pomfrey was pointing to the goblet she had left on the nightstand, which had not been touched.

"I wasn't ready to sleep," Remus mumbled, flinching as his foot throbbed.

The nurse clicked her tongue and lightly pressed her wand on Remus's big toe. James, Sirius and Peter could see their friend relax. Madam Pomfrey seemed satisfied and returned to her office. Waiting a few moments so they were positive she would not reappear, the boys threw off the Invisibility Cloak.

"I'm sorry," James apologised. "I wasn't looking and I-"

"It's okay." Remus slowly rubbed his good foot against his bad one, hoping that this would not cause too much pain. It didn't. "Maybe you guys should go back to the common room. I really should go to sleep."

The boys nodded and stood up. There was no point in arguing. Remus needed his rest and they had to get back anyhow. Besides, it was only a matter of time before Sirius did something stupid, now that James already had. They bid Remus goodnight, put on the Invisibility Cloak, and began making their slow progress to Gryffindor Tower. The boys walked quietly through the now black corridors, sidestepping the suits of armor when they veered too closely to them. Their minds wandered towards the conversation between Madam Pomfrey and Professor Twikom. Would their new professor have prejudices against their friend? If she was related to Greyback, it wasn't such a far-fetched idea… was it?

* * *

The Gryffindor fourth years sat in the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom that Thursday afternoon with the Slytherins. Neither group of students was very happy about this arrangement. The year before the Gryffindors had been with the Hufflepuffs, and the Ravenclaws the year before that. Both of those pairings were bearable, enjoyable, but not this one. They already had to endure Potions with the Slytherins, whose brilliant brainchild was it to put them together a second time? The students attempted to alleviate the situation by sitting on opposite ends of the room – Gryffindors on the left and Slytherins on the right. This didn't work.

Professor Twikom had obviously predicted what would happen, as she immediately had a solution. The solution, however, was not to either house's benefit. She decided to sit one Gryffindor with one Slytherin and hope that they would stifle their animosity for the time being. Each student was now battling with the idea of whether or not their professor was delusional. She was not a stranger to Hogwarts and not to this particular group of students, as she was their substitute for a week last year. A week was more than enough time to realise which students despised each other. As it was, she must not have remembered this, or chose to neglect it.

The class was miserably settled in their assigned seats. James sat grudgingly next to Evan Rosier, who looked as if he was repressing the urge to hex James from under his death. James's face was turning red, doubtlessly from the same effort. Sirius was planted next to Abrac Zabini; both boys looked as if they had swallowed a considerable quantity of Stinksap. Peter was placed beside Phillip Bullstrode, though they looked as if they had reached an agreement to wallow in their annoyance at a later time. Remus sat beside a particularly disgruntled Severus Snape.

Professor Twikom was droning on about some hexes or other that the students did not care about, disgusted as they were with the seating arrangement. Her voice therefore became a buzz in the background as they all contemplated the many ways in which they could put the seating to their advantage. As of yet, they had come up with nothing. The Gryffindors were ready to overtake the Slytherins, and the Slytherins were ready to overtake the Gryffindors. Whenever the situation presented itself, they would be ready. For the moment, they would sit in a stony silence.

They were assigned to read the chapter on Tripping Jinxes for the next fifteen minutes, an immediate cause for low, mutinous conversation. Professor Twikom, at the very least, allowed this. The students propped their books up so they could whisper to their housemates that may have been sitting behind them, in front of them, or on the opposite side at another desk. They were searching for any way to communicate. Peter was sitting behind Remus and sat up so he could tap his friend on the shoulder.

"What was the woman thinking?" Peter hissed, his eyes wide at the absurdity of the idea of sitting Gryffindors beside Slytherins.

"That we should bury our prejudices for an hour?" Remus suggested, his voice mocking.

"She's hoping for a miracle."

"You're telling me."

"Hey, are you going to talk to her about-"

"About the reading?"

Peter raised an eyebrow at his friend, before realising why he was cut off. Of course Remus didn't want his Lycanthropy mentioned while he was sitting next to Severus Snape.

"Yeah, about that."

"No, I think I've got it."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." He dropped his voice even lowered and blocked his mouth from Snape's view with his hand. "I really don't want to think about my _professor_ being related to _that_."

Peter's eyes darted to his right and he noticed that Snape's eyes had frozen on the page. He was listening in. "Anyway, better start reading this." He leaned back and drew his book closer.

Remus began reading the chapter, only stopping when he felt someone's eyes on him. He turned his head somewhat and saw Snape was watching him. "Yes?"

"How are you feeling?" There was no definable tone in Snape's voice, it was frighteningly neutral.

"Fine, why?"

"You weren't in school for a couple of days."

"I was feeling sick."

"I don't remember seeing you on the train either."

Remus bit the inside of his cheek. Why was it that all of the sudden Snape had so much time to notice when Remus was and was not places where he should be? "Why do you care?"

"You're Lily's friend."

"I don't think-"

"And Lily's _my_ friend."

"What does this have to do with-?"

"So I'm concerned when one of my friends is worried about one of her friends."

"Drop it, Snape."

"She's always wondering why you disappear every month. It's strange, your illness, does it always occur _once_ a month?"

Remus slammed his textbook down, causing a rather large thud that drew the attention of his classmates. He threw them a warning look and they went back to their work. "You know, why don't you just stop thinking about all of this?"

"It's not something I _choose_ to wonder about."

"I think you do, and it's none of your business. You don't have to care or wonder why I get sick, so just stay out of it. Do you understand me?"

The corners of Snape's mouth turned up for the quickest of seconds. "Understood."

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Thirty Six: Never Forget a Name**_

"You remember me, Agatha?" asked a dangerously hoarse and vicious voice.

Professor Twikom maintained a brave front, but the boys could tell she was frightened. "Of course I do. I was beginning to wonder if _you'd_ forgotten everyone in your family, Fenrir."

"The family that abandoned me when they found out what I'd become? How could I forget _them_?"

Twikom was visibly uncomfortable, the boys could tell from the way her figure was swaying slowly back and forth. "How did you get in the castle?"

"Don't worry about that."

"I'm a professor; I _have_ to worry about it."

"I just came to ask you a question."

Twikom glanced around, searching for anyone who might overhear this conversation. Even in the darkness, the only listeners were invisible to her. "Make it quick."

"Is it true that Dumbledore let a werewolf into this school?"


	36. Never Forget a Name

Chapter Thirty Six  
Never Forget a Name

"Duck!"

The large number of black and scarlet clad students dropped to their hands and knees, pressing their foreheads against the grass at Lawrence Biggs's warning. Third year Gryffindor, the eternally uncoordinated Jules Hannigan, came plummeting at the spot where the group had been standing. Hannigan pulled up before he hit their backs and soared up once more before plummeting again. He gripped his broomstick tightly, his face scrunched in fear as the ground loomed ever nearer. Biggs hurried to stop Hannigan before he contacted the ground, but failed miserably. He was not even close to the third year before the tip of the broomstick cracked on the ground and Hannigan went tumbling forward. There was a collective groan of sympathy from the crowd of students still crouched on the ground as they cautiously peeked up.

"He never stood a chance," James muttered to his fellow Chaser, Jamie Kirkland, as he picked himself.

She nodded in agreement and stood up as well. "He stayed up longer than I thought he would, though."

"Yeah, we'll give him that."

They watched as Biggs helped Hannigan to his feet and they saw that the boy's nose was bruised, crooked, and bleeding. The knees of his pants were ripped to shreds, revealing dirt covered knees and there was a gaping hole in his jumper, showing small cuts on his stomach. Hannigan's face was shocked, to say the least. He appeared as if he had seen his entire life flash before his eyes. The crowd watched as Biggs escorted the third year over to Oliver Pulliman and asked him to take Hannigan to the Hospital Wing. Once Pulliman and Hannigan left, Biggs turned back to the group and called out for fifth year Mary Macdonald to come up and do her tryout. The Gryffindor team and the potential Seekers watched as she swerved around, following the path of the Golden Snitch. She was good, but was nowhere near as good as Cory Hamilton had been.

Two hours later the Gryffindor team was sitting lazily against the wall of the stands, watching as Biggs told off a few second years for roughhousing with the brooms. The second years had been bored and levitated a few of the broomsticks after a third year girl who had tried out. They didn't stop until she spun around and was knocked in the forehead with the handle of one of the broomsticks. The second years were indignant, thinking that they had done nothing wrong. The fact that the third year was knocked unconscious and bruised had no bearings on them.

"So, when d'you reckon he'll be finished with them?" asked one of the Beaters, fifth year Anthony Mitchell.

Sixth year Gina Reynolds, his fellow Beater, checked her watch. She shook her head sadly. "They've been going at it for a while."

James checked his own watch and saw that it was nearing six in the evening. He had to meet his friends at half past in the Room of Requirement. They were going to discuss what they needed for the potion. However, none of them could leave until Biggs officially announced the new Chaser. Biggs wanted the entire team to be there. James glanced to his right and saw the crowd of hopefuls was getting restless as well.

Anthony leaned forward so that he could look past Jamie and at Oliver, who had returned in fifteen minutes after bringing the unfortunate third year to Madam Pomfrey. "Hey, Oliver, you're a Prefect, aren't you?"

Oliver nodded slowly, unsure of the purpose of the question. "Yeah… why?"

"Go over there, give them detention and dock some points. That'll get this going."

Jamie looked outraged at the suggestion. "You want him to dock points from _Gryffindor_?"

Anthony frowned as he thought about what he had said. "Oh, yeah, well just give them detention."

James groaned as another five minutes passed and the arguement had not desisted. He was cutting it too close. He had to be there and he was not going to have a bunch of second years keep him from leaving. He stood up, clutching his broomstick in one hand and balling his other into a fist. "Hey, you lot!" he shouted heatedly at the quarreling second years. "Shut up already so he can tell us who got on the team and we can leave!" This proclamation was met with many cheers of agreement from his teammates and the hopefuls. The second years stared at James and then at Biggs, who raised an eyebrow pointedly. They grudgingly tossed the school broomsticks aside and trudged up to the castle, muttering mutinously all the way. Biggs threw James a thankful grin and cleared his throat, bring everyone to attention.

"Okay, now that _that's_ over with," he said as the crowd closed in around him. He consulted his clipboard, where there were numerous scribbles and cross-outs next to the names of the people who had tried out. "It is time to announce our new Seeker." The group became still, their hearts pounding almost audibly, as they waited in painful anticipation. "Many of you were great, but unfortunately you can't all have the position, even though that'd be really convenient for substituting. Try coming back next year if we have openings. So, the new Seeker is Robbie Brown." The sixth year cheered loudly, along with the rest of the Gryffindor team.

The crowd of rejected students began to disperse, leaving only the seven Quidditch players to talk about the upcoming season.

* * *

"Where is James?"

"Still at tryouts, probably."

"I'm bored, when's he going to get here?"

"You're _always_ bored, Sirius. And he'll get here when he gets here."

Sirius, Remus and Peter were sitting in the Room of Requirement for at least forty five minutes and Sirius was getting restless. He was currently pacing back and forth in front of Remus and Peter, who had settled themselves in the squashy armchairs. Peter was tossing his left shoe up in the air, not quite sure why he was doing so but needing something to do anyhow, and Remus was leafing through the Animagus book, though he was not having much success. His eyes traveled from reading to watching Sirius pace before him. Finally he'd had enough and set the book down.

"Sirius, you're making me sick."

Sirius stopped walking. "Well, stop watching me."

Remus rolled his eyes and forced them down on his book. Sirius continued his stride, casting annoyed glances at the door every so often as though if he did it enough James would materialize. Again he paused and turned to Remus and said with frustration, "You're ignoring me!"

Remus slowly looked up from his book. He calmly turned to Peter. "Can I borrow that?" Peter, looking confused, handed Remus his shoe. Sirius was far enough away that Remus had no problem throwing the shoe at his friend's face.

Sirius flinched as the shoe connected painfully with his chin. He stooped down to pick it up and tossed it back to Peter. "When did you get so _violent_?"

Remus pretended to look thoughtful for a moment, rubbing his chin. "I think it was around eleven years ago, you know, when I was bitten by a werewolf… That might factor into the violent thing."

Sirius sat down next to Peter, rubbing his forehead, a smirk concealed by his arm. "I need some _normal_ company."

"Because _you're_ so normal?"

"Stuff it, Remus."

"You two argue like you're married," Peter observed, sitting up straighter in his chair and folding his arms across his chest.

Both Remus and Sirius pulled faces. "Sorry, Pete, but I'm pretty sure I like _girls_," Sirius said firmly.

"Same here."

"What did I miss?" The three looked up to see James, still in his Quidditch robes, standing in front of the closed doorway, looking breathless. He must have run straight from the Quidditch Pitch. He was looking from Remus to Sirius to Peter, his eyebrows raised, as he tried to catch his breath.

Sirius took the liberty of filling James in on what he had missed. "Peter was making suggestions as to whether or not Remus and I like girls."

James's curious look turned to mildly surprised. "Why?"

"Did you ever hear the way they argue?" Peter asked.

"Yeah," James replied, sitting down at the table and pulling off his boots. "It's pretty funny."

"You see, Pete." Sirius stood up and snatched the Animagus book from Remus. "We're entertainers." He crossed the room and set the book down on the table, flipping through the pages to find the one they needed. He found the page that had the ingredients they needed for the potion. "Okay… Lacewing Flies, those are in Slughorn's storage. Err… beetles; those are simple, unless they all suddenly die out, in which case we're lost. Sopophorous Beans… does Slughorn have those in the student storage?"

"Good thing I'm not drinking that," Remus commented, tying his shoelace.

"Why?" James asked, looking from the book.

"I'm allergic to those things. Remember the summer before our second year?"

Realisation dawned on Peter's face, making the connection. "Yeah… I remember that. I'll handle getting those."

"They're in Slughorn's storage," Remus confirmed for Sirius. "I saw Lily move a box of them during our tutoring sessions." Occasionally Slughorn would grant Lily access to his private storage. They never really needed anything from it, but Lily went inside once to see what was there. He stood up and went over to look at the book as well. "What else do we need?"

"Nothing else right now. We can start with those."

Peter looked at Remus, his eyebrows knitted together. "So I guess we're breaking into Slughorn's storage tonight?"

"Looks like it."

"I have a question."

"What's that, Pete?" James said, rubbing his chin as his eyes skimmed the page.

"This doesn't sound difficult at all. If _we_ could do this, why don't millions of other wizards?"

"Making the potion and getting the Patronus are only bits of it." James waved Peter over and pushed the book forward so he could have a better look. "Once you do that, you've still got to be able to clear your mind enough to transform into the animal, and then you've got to figure out how to change back."

Peter's eyes widened. "We could get _stuck_ like that?"

Remus nodded. "Precisely the reason wizards don't try it very often. What if you were a fly? You wouldn't be living very long."

Sirius noticed Peter's anxious expression. "Don't worry about it. We're not going to get stuck." He turned the book so the text was facing him. "And if we _do_, we have _him_," he jerked his head at Remus, "to blame."

"Because _I'm_ the one who said 'let's become Animagi!'?"

"Old married couple," Peter sang under his breath.

Later that night Remus and Peter found themselves crouching under James's Invisibility Cloak and walking through the dark corridors of the castle. The Sopophorous Beans were what they were after; they could get everything else from the student storage. Remus had already agreed to get some when Lily was tutoring him. He would simply offer to get the ingredients and pilfer what they needed when he was there. They knew that to access Slughorn's private storage they would have to break into the Potions classroom, all the way down in the dungeons. They were making decent progress, they were already on the third floor and they had been walking for a mere fifteen minutes. There was nothing standing in their way, preventing them from getting farther.

Nothing, they thought, until they saw a large shadow dash by stealthily. Remus put an arm over Peter's middle and pushed him and himself against the cold stone wall. They couldn't tell who it was from the distance they were at, and they only had a shadow to judge by. They knew, however, that this person was definitely not welcome in the school. Remus and Peter glanced at each apprehensively other, how long was this person planning to stay? They had promised James and Sirius that they wouldn't be long. They heard a door open nearby and saw the distinct figure of Professor Twikom appear. What was _she_ doing out at this time of night? And, more importantly, why was she meeting this unknown figure?

"What are you _doing_ here?" she hissed furiously. The large shadow turned into a large, dark figure. Peter did not recognise this person, but Remus had a sinking feeling in his stomach. A certain conversation heard nights ago was ringing in his ears - _I haven't heard from him in years. I have no idea what Fenrir is up to lately. _Remus had never seen Greyback in human form, but he had a feeling he was about to. He gritted his teeth, what was going on?

"You remember me, Agatha?" asked a dangerously hoarse and vicious voice.

Professor Twikom maintained a brave front, but the boys could tell she was frightened. "Of course I do. I was beginning to wonder if _you'd_ forgotten everyone in your family, Fenrir."

"The family that abandoned me when they found out what I'd become? How could I forget _them_?"

Twikom was visibly uncomfortable, the boys could tell from the way her figure was swaying slowly back and forth. "How did you get in the castle?"

"Don't worry about that."

"I'm a professor; I _have_ to worry about it."

"I just came to ask you a question."

Twikom glanced around, searching for anyone who might overhear this conversation. Even in the darkness, the only listeners were invisible to her. "Make it quick."

"Is it true that Dumbledore let a werewolf into this school?"

"So what if it is?" Twikom shot back dismissively.

"Who is it?"

"That's none of your business."

"It _is_ my business because this werewolf is trying to pretend to be a wizard." Greyback laughed harshly. "Like he's one of _them_."

Twikom forced some finality into her voice. "I think you should leave now."

Greyback was not easily sent away, however. "Not until you tell me who it is."

"I've been sworn to keep the student's secret. I tell no one."

"Not even _family_?"

"I haven't heard from you in years, what makes you think I still considered you family?"

Greyback stepped forward so that he was towering over the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. "Fine, don't tell me. I'll find out one way or another. I can always find a list of the students who go here. I never forget a name."

"Why does it matter so much?"

"He's trying to be something he's not; I'm going to show him where he _really_ belongs."

Greyback spun around and was off at a run. Twikom, looking severely shaken, retreated into her office. Peter breathed a sigh of relief, not over what he had heard, but because Greyback was gone. He stood up straight and began on the way to the dungeons again, before realising that he was walking easier than he should have been if there were two people under the cloak. He looked over his shoulder and saw that Remus had not left his spot on the wall. He was suddenly reminded of the night they had visited him in the Hospital Wing and Twikom had announced that Fenrir Greyback was a relative of hers. Remus's face looked very similar to that. He looked like he was going to be aggressively ill.

Peter doubled back. "Remus? Come on, we've got to hurry."

They didn't have time to talk about what they had overheard, at least not at the moment. They were burning moonlight quickly. Remus followed Peter, though he looked as if he couldn't quite recall where they were headed, what their purpose was for being out. The remainder of the way down to the dungeons was marked by their cautious steps and frequent pauses to make sure that Greyback had indeed gone from the castle and could not reappear. Yes, they were invisible, but the sight of the man would not make their trip any better. Luckily, they saw no other sign that Greyback was still around and they safely made it to the dungeons.

* * *

"What's taking them so long?"

"You don't think they got caught, do you?"

"How could they? They had my cloak."

James and Sirius were sitting in the empty common room, their wands lit and held out towards the portrait hole entrance. It was nearing midnight and Remus and Peter had been gone for more than an hour. Remus had promised them they would take no longer than a half an hour. Sirius and James were considering going out to find them and were about to do so when the entryway opened, seemingly of its own accord. James and Sirius jumped up and hurried to meet their friends. Peter pulled the Invisibility Cloak off and handed it to James. He stuck a hand in his pocket and pulled out a vial of Sopophorous Beans and handed them to Sirius.

"What took you guys so long?" Sirius hissed, putting the vial in his own pocket.

Peter cast a look at Remus, who had not seemed to have been breathing since their encounter in the corridor, witnessing Greyback's confrontation with Professor Twikom. "We ran into a bit of trouble." He led the way over to the couch and sat down.

"What happened?" James asked as he sat down in one of the soft armchairs.

Peter told them of the conversation they had heard. By the time he was finished, James and Sirius were looking uncharacteristically serious. "Merlin," Sirius muttered, staring into the empty fireplace. "What are we going to do about this?"

James shrugged. "I dunno… but we have to think of something." He leaned back in his seat. "How did he get into the castle?"

"That was what Twikom wanted to know."

"He couldn't have used the castle doors, could he?" Sirius wondered. "That's too easy. There would be some sort of protective charm on them."

"The castle has secret passages, doesn't it?" James said. "He could have used any of them."

"How would he know about them?" Peter asked fretfully. "_Dumbledore_ doesn't even know where half of them are."

"The only one he knows about is the one under the Whomping Willow," Sirius said. It only made sense that Dumbledore knew about the one he had helped construct. If that was the case, it wasn't a secret passageway then. At least it wasn't to Dumbledore.

"Can we stop talking about this?"

The three boys turned to Remus and saw that he was looking unusually panicked. They couldn't blame him. The only times he ever appeared that way was when he was discussing the man who had turned him into a werewolf. This must have been the first time since that fateful night eleven years ago that Remus had seen the man – or the beast.

James bit his lip. "Don't you want to know how he got in?"

"Of course I do, but I don't want to think about it right now." He stood up from his seat on the floor. "I haven't heard anything about him since my dad told me that it was Greyback who bit me and I haven't seen him since I was three. Now he's in the castle, asking Twikom who's the werewolf who's _pretending_ to be a wizard so he can find them. So he can find _me_ and turn me into someone like _him_." His face contorted in disgust. "It won't take him long before he finds out who it is."

"He never forgets a name," Peter said quietly.

"Exactly. The second he sees Remus Lupin on the school roster, he's going to have all the information he needs." He couldn't stand to imagine what Greyback would do with the information once it was in his hands.

"But what can he do while Dumbledore's here?" Sirius questioned, hoping that this made Remus realise that maybe he didn't have to worry so much.

"Dumbledore can't be everywhere at the same time."

"Who says he can't?" James said confidently.

"I know Dumbledore's a genius, but he's still human." He moved towards the stairs leading to the dormitories. "And humans _can't_ be everywhere at once." With that, he disappeared up the steps.

"He's right, you know," Sirius said when Remus had gone. "Dumbledore does everything he can to protect us, but he really _can't_ be everywhere at once."

"I know that," James snapped. "I was just saying that to make it seem better than it really is."

"Ah, so you _lied_."

James was silent for a beat. "Yes." He stood up and walked over to the fireplace, staring into the empty grate. "What else are we supposed to do?"

"Not lie?"

"I know, lying was stupid, but I couldn't think of anything else. So many terrible things happen to him and now we have this? We can't solve every problem."

"You know he'd do something for you, if you had a problem," Peter reminded him.

"I know he would. I never said he wouldn't."

Sirius placed his hands on his knees and straightened up. "Look, why don't we just try to forget this for now?"

Peter raised an eyebrow. "How are we supposed to do that?" He couldn't think of any way to forget what he had heard on the third floor. Times were changing for the worst and they had proof of it right under their noses. Now it involved one of their friends. "We can't just say that it never happened."

"I know we can't," Sirius shot back defensively.

"Then why are you suggesting that we do?"

"Because I can't think of anything else either!" Sirius clenched his teeth and folded his arms across his chest. "Okay, let's not forget about it, but let's not talk about it either?"

James shrugged. "That's all we can do for now."

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Thirty Seven: A Matter of Time **_

"You're mean," Remus commented quietly, forcing a picture into its frame.

"Says the guy who made us look like girls," Sirius said sardonically.

"Just your _hair_."

"It was bad enough, wasn't it, James?"

James couldn't help but agree. It wasn't the most pleasant feeling in the world to wake up from an unintentional nap to discover that he had pigtails and the entire common room had seen it. At least Remus hadn't thought to add makeup as Lily Evans had done. "Why'd you do that anyway?" he asked Remus.

Remus grinned sarcastically. "I was _bored_."

Peter sighed exasperatedly. "Didn't you get us back for that bucket of water?" He could distinctly remember Remus stepping sideways and, as a result, the three of them fell into the lake near his house.

"Not really, no." He flattened out the plastic on one of the pages of his album and selected his next picture. "Besides, there are other things you've done to me that I haven't gotten you back for yet."

"You're going to hold everything over our heads for the rest of our lives, aren't you?" Sirius accused.

"Maybe."


	37. A Matter of Time

Chapter Thirty Seven  
A Matter of Time

The boys had come to a silent mutual understanding that what Remus and Peter heard that Friday night was not again to be discussed, unless it was brought up willingly by Remus. They doubted he would bring it up, but if he ever wanted to talk about it, they were there to hear him out. James, Sirius and Peter, though, somewhat hoped that he would want to talk about it. It was killing them that they had this information, but they couldn't do anything about it. However, to their dismay, Remus was eager to keep all forms of conversation away from the topic. Instead, he threw himself into helping them with the potion for their Animagus training. He couldn't help them concoct it, naturally, but he would retrieve whatever they needed and would read the instructions for them when they were ready to begin mixing. The first night he had Potions tutoring with Lily, he made it a point to go into the storage room and sneak away the items they needed.

Snape seemed to make himself a permanent fixture during the tutoring sessions, something that bothered Remus greatly. He did not loath Snape as much as James and Sirius, or even Peter, did, but he did not like the fact that Snape was making himself an unavoidable presence. Yes, he was best friends with Lily – a fact that extremely puzzled many Gryffindors, including Lily's best friend, Alice Gordon – but did that mean he would never leave her sight? The tutoring sessions were between Lily and Remus; this was never supposed to include Snape. This fact almost ruined Remus's chances of smuggling out the ingredients, as Snape was lurking right by the doorway, as if he was anticipating Remus's every move. Luckily, Remus was quick and when Snape turned his back, he snatched them up.

The boys did not have as much time as they would have liked to spend in the Room of Requirement, as James was at Quidditch practise almost every night. The team was working terribly hard to build Robbie up to the standards of Cory Hamilton, and this meant that they would have to practise every night. Cory was a Seeking prodigy; therefore he was not easily replaced. But Robbie showed definite natural skills. They would do everything in their power to make him just as good. Whenever James returned from the Quidditch Pitch, Sirius would suggest going down to work on the potion, but James was always too exhausted. He only wanted to go upstairs and sleep. Their inability to work on the potion did nothing to raise their spirits, especially when the first full moon of the school year arrived.

The last time there had been two full moons in one month was in December of their first year. This had not fazed any of the boys, other than Remus, because they were not aware of his ailment. This time, however, they were fully aware of it. This year, there were two full moons in October – on the first of the month and on Halloween. When Tuesday, October 1st, dawned, James, Sirius and Peter left Remus in the dormitory, knowing he would want to sleep, and headed on to their classes. When they were in Defence Against the Dark Arts they noticed something odd about Professor Twikom's mannerisms. She was usually bright and bubbly, speaking spiritedly about her plans for the day and keeping that same spirit during the actual lesson. Today, however, she looked sullen and spoke with little, if any at all, enthusiasm.

They could only attribute this to the professor's meeting with Fenrir Greyback, though they were uncertain as to why this would affect _her_ in such a way. She was in no danger of being the product of one of Greyback's revenge schemes. She was protected in the castle walls; at least that was what they thought initially. Greyback had gotten into the castle, undetected, before. Who was to say he couldn't do it again? He could easily slip within the walls and unleash his fury on Twikom. Family didn't matter to him, it wouldn't mean anything to him if took a bite out of her and condemned her to a cursed life. When they brought this up with Remus during lunch that day, he reminded them that it would be far more difficult for Greyback to sneak into the castle when he was a werewolf. This was when the castle's security was at its peak, and that was simply for Remus, who was miles away in Hogsmeade.

They could do nothing to assure themselves that Greyback wouldn't be venturing inside the once sacred walls of the castle. Remus's words did not relieve them of their concerns, so they spent a restless night in the dormitory, envying the slumbering Frank Longbottom. Frank had nothing particularly nasty on his mind, especially not a vicious werewolf who was out for blood, and slept peacefully. They had considered once or twice – or a thousand times – to do something to change this, but decided against it. Frank didn't have to stay awake like they did, and he would be severely ungrateful if they woke him. They passed the hours playing relatively silent rounds of Wizards Chess and trading Chocolate Frog cards. It was only when the sun began to break through the clouds and illuminate the room that they fell asleep.

They all sorely regretted losing so much sleep that night; they were falling asleep in every class. Their professors were not pleased about this. Professor McGonagall threatened a round of detention for each of them. Professor Flitwick, who was always cheerful and easygoing, continuously warned them of nightly detention for the next few days if they didn't wake up. For the first time in their lives, James and Sirius created a potion whose explosion rivaled any that Remus's potions had ever done. The entire class could not escape and therefore had several burns plastering their bodies. Needless to say, James and Sirius were very unpopular that day.

"I don't want to do homework," Sirius whined, banging his forehead repeatedly on the tabletop in the common room that night.

"You think I do?" James snarled, his head resting on his folded arms.

"You might."

"Shut up, I'm trying to sleep," Peter moaned. He had procured a pillow off the couch and had placed it on the table where his notebooks should have been.

"Sorry, Pete," James and Sirius said together. The boys were half asleep and did not register the fourth person who sat down with them. It was a few minutes before the person decided to make himself noticed.

"You guys aren't supposed to be the tired ones."

The three wearily looked up to see Remus observing them through darkly bruised eyes. Normally, they would have said something about this comment, but instead ignored him and went back to sleep. Remus propped his elbow on the table and leaned his head into his hand. "I should really use this chance to get revenge on you guys for something."

"What have we done to you lately?" Sirius asked uncaringly, his voice muffled.

"Nothing yet, but you will."

"Good point."

Remus looked around and spotted Lily Evans sitting with Alice Gordon. He went over to them and whispered something to them so that his friends could not hear. When he returned to the table, he produced a number of hair ties and began doing up Peter's hair in pigtails.

"What are you doing?" Peter whined, waving his hand in an attempt to swat Remus away from him. Unfortunately, he was swatting his hand in the wrong direction.

"You have a bug in your hair," Remus explained calmly.

"Well get it out."

"That's what I'm doing." Remus hummed a tune as he admired his handiwork and moved on to Sirius, who also had the same reaction. Remus simply explained that the bug had flown from Peter to Sirius (and would soon fly over to James). He was lucky that they were too tired to care. He stood up and looked at their newly acquired pigtails. Sirius's hair was long enough to make a very believable girl hairstyle, while James and Peter merely looked strange with their pigtails. Shrugging it off, he yawned and retreated to the dormitory.

He entered the room to see Frank Longbottom lying on his bed, writing a letter. Frank nodded at his roommate and returned to his work. Remus sat down on his own bed and kicked his shoes off. It was only a matter of minutes before his roommates discovered what he'd done to them. He wondered what they'd do, and then decided that they probably wouldn't do anything, as they were far too tired. He smiled to himself. It wasn't as bad as dumping cold water on them, but making them look like girls was entertaining enough. He sat up when he heard footsteps, thinking it was his friends coming, then settled back down when he realised it was only Frank walking across the room.

"Do we have Charms homework?" Frank asked over his shoulder.

"Nope," Remus replied. "Flitwick said next time he's giving us an essay."

"Brilliant. D'you know on what?"

"No, sorry."

Frank folded his arms across his chest and bounced on the balls of his feet. "What do you think about Twikom?"

Remus picked at a loose thread in his bedspread, keeping his eyes down. "What about her?"

"Think she'll be a good teacher?"

"What's it matter? She'll be gone by the end of the year anyway."

"Good point." Frank opened his mouth to say something else, but Remus never heard what it was. At that precise moment, three suddenly wide awake voices sounded from somewhere below. "REMUS LUPIN!" The dormitory door burst open and in ran James, Sirius and Peter who were clearly unhappy with their new hairstyles.

Remus's eyes darted from them to Frank, who was staring at the spectacle with an open mouth. "See you later, Frank." Remus jumped off his bed, all of his weariness from the full moon gone, and ducked past his friends.

* * *

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter sat out on the grounds under their favourite beech tree near the lake. James was playing with a Golden Snitch he had nicked out of Madam Spark's office; Sirius was sitting with his arms behind his head, leaning against the tree trunk and staring across the lake. Remus was surrounded by a number of photographs and was organising them in a photo album, while Peter shifted between watching this and watching James catch the Snitch. It was a lazy Saturday afternoon that was just warm enough for the students to take advantage of.

Sirius yawned and sat up. He took in his surroundings and spotted something that made him grin mischievously.

James saw this look and knew it all too well. "What's up, Sirius?"

"Do you think I could skip this stone so it hits Snivelly across the lake over there?"

James secured the Snitch in his pocket and bent forward so he could see where Sirius was pointing. Snape was sitting farther down the lake, skipping pebbles in the lake while he spoke with Lily Evans. A grin very similar to Sirius's grew on James's face. "Just make sure you don't hit Evans."

Sirius stood up and walked to the shore of the lake. He squinted his eyes and knelt down, trying to figure out the perfect angle to skip the stone. Slowly, he raised his arm back and, in a blur, brought it down, releasing the stone. He, James and Peter watched intently as it bounced across the surface of the water, making circles of ripples as went. To their misfortune, the stone sunk inches away from Snape. Sirius snapped his fingers in disappointment and sat down.

"You're mean," Remus commented quietly, forcing a picture into its frame.

"Says the guy who made us look like girls," Sirius said sardonically.

"Just your _hair_."

"It was bad enough, wasn't it, James?"

James couldn't help but agree. It wasn't the most pleasant feeling in the world to wake up from an unintentional nap to discover that he had pigtails and the entire common room had seen it. At least Remus hadn't thought to add makeup as Lily Evans had done. "Why'd you do that anyway?" he asked Remus.

Remus grinned sarcastically. "I was _bored_."

Peter sighed exasperatedly. "Didn't you get us back for that bucket of water?" He could distinctly remember Remus stepping sideways and, as a result, the three of them fell into the lake near his house.

"Not really, no." He flattened out the plastic on one of the pages of his album and selected his next picture. "Besides, there are other things you've done to me that I haven't gotten you back for yet."

"You're going to hold everything over our heads for the rest of our lives, aren't you?" Sirius accused.

"Maybe."

Sirius looked at James. "Do you reckon I could skip this stone so it hits Remus?"

James laughed lightly. "I don't want a part of it; I'm not looking like a girl again."

Sirius spun around. "What about you, Pete?"

"I'm with James on this one."

Sirius huffed, and then grinned shiftily. "Hey, Remus, would _you_ help me?"

"_Sure_… give me the rock and I'll throw it at myself." He snatched the rock from Sirius's hand and threw it over his friend's head and into the lake. "That's settled." He replaced the photos that he had not framed inside the front cover of his photo album and stood up.

"Where are you going?" James asked.

"I have tutoring with Lily later, so I figured I'd better do my Potions homework." He tucked his album under his arm and headed up the grassy slope towards the castle.

"So," Sirius began, searching through the blades of grass for another stone. "When's the first Quidditch match?"

James thought for a moment. "Sometime next month."

"You guys are ready?" Peter wondered, pulling his knees up to his chest.

"As ready as we can be. The rest of the team is fine; we're working mostly on Robbie."

Sirius picked up what he thought was a rock, but turned out to be a dirt clod. He crushed it between his fingers. "He's good though, isn't he? Otherwise he wouldn't have made the team."

James was quick to come to his teammate's defence. "No, he's a great Seeker; it's just that he's nowhere as good as Cory was."

"You guys were too used to him," Peter reminded James. "You have to get used to Robbie now."

"Pete has a point; Robbie will be good when he's comfortable."

James agreed with this, though he said nothing. Quidditch was different this year. He liked Biggs, he was the best choice for captain, but there was something strange about not having Cory as the captain. It was probably because he was the only captain James had ever been under. Now Biggs was the captain. James wondered… he couldn't have been jealous because he had been passed over as captain, could he? It only made sense that Biggs became the captain, he had been on the team longest and was easily the better player. Besides, James was second in command, this was enough. He shrugged it off. He wasn't jealous.

"Anyway," Sirius was saying. "I was figuring that we begin mixing the potion sometime next week. That good for you?"

"Fine with me," Peter said, plucking up pieces of grass. "James?"

"Practise all week."

Sirius sighed in disgust. "Merlin, when you become captain, James, don't make practise every single night."

"Why don't we do it now?"

"It's _Saturday_!"

"So?"

"Saturday isn't a day for _work_."

Peter groaned in annoyance. James wasn't going to be able to do the work until Biggs lightened up on the practising sessions, yet Sirius would never work on a Saturday. They needed a little persuading. Defiantly, he stood up and glared down at the bickering pair. "I'm going to work on the potion." He spun on his heels and began up the slope to the castle.

James and Sirius were startled, having momentarily forgotten that Peter was there. When they registered what he had said, horror grew into their expressions. The potion would be doomed if Peter got his hands on it. They jumped to their feet and sprinted after him. "No! Wait! We'll do it!"

* * *

Remus sat in Professor Slughorn's classroom, waiting impatiently for Lily and Snape to finish whatever conversation they were having. Snape seemed keen on not letting Lily into the room. They were standing out in the hallway, their voices muffled by the closed door. He wished they would hurry up; he had been sitting there for at least fifteen minutes. He could have taken his time getting there if he knew he would have to wait. Snape knew very well that these tutoring sessions with Lily were precious to Remus's grade and that he would not pass without Lily's help. Then again, this fact probably had no bearings on the Slytherin.

Remus thought once or twice about getting up and making it known that he was still there, but decided against it. Judging by the altering in the muffled voices, the conversation must have been concluding. He saw the doorknob turn ever so slightly, until the lower of the two voices – Snape's – spoke up again and the golden doorknob was still once more. Remus gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. He wanted to get out of there and find his friends. Ten Galleons said they were doing something that involved their Animagus training and he wanted to be there.

Resting his head on his folded arms, he stared at the stone wall opposite him and let his mind wander. He couldn't remember when he'd had a moment to just sit and think. His friends had always wanted to sneak down to the kitchens or go to the Room of Requirement or watch James's Quidditch practises. They were constantly kept busy. Remus had had so much on his mind that he welcomed these activities with open arms, needing something to clear his head. He had been putting up a front that he wasn't at all bothered with the confrontation he and Peter had witnessed the night they snuck to Slughorn's storage room. The truth was that he was terrified. How long was it going to take before Greyback found a way to get the names of the students enrolled at Hogwarts? Greyback was cunning… he could get it easily, or at least talk to a few helpful candidates.

What Remus wanted to know was how did Twikom not know what a monster her relative was? He was not speaking of monster in the way of a werewolf, but a monster in his behaviours. Greyback purposely contaminated children without blinking an eye, without the slightest twinge in his conscience. She must have heard about some time when a child was bitten… Then again, Greyback probably knew how to cover his tracks so it couldn't be pinned on him. But what about Dumbledore? If Twikom didn't realise it, surely Dumbledore, the most intelligent wizard the world had ever seen, should have known it. How had Greyback gotten past Dumbledore's watch that night? Dumbledore couldn't be everywhere at once, Remus knew this, but he definitely _knew_ everything. He must have known that the sacred walls of his castle had been infiltrated.

Remus had thought about sending a letter to his parents, informing them of this, but then chose not to. He didn't want to worry them more about him than they already were. He was making his parents age faster than they had to. Every month he could tell lines were growing on their faces and their hair was greying as they wondered how badly their son was going to come off after the full moon. It wasn't fair to them to have something else to add to their anxiety. He would just keep it to himself, the extent of his horror. He was the only werewolf to ever attend Hogwarts. It wouldn't be difficult for Greyback to realise it was Remus he was after. He never forgot a name.

How long was it going to take? How long would it be before Greyback procured Remus's name and figured out a way to break into the castle again? How would he do it? Would it be on a full moon, when Remus wasn't even in the castle? If that was when, it would endanger the lives of all the other students. He couldn't live with that. He couldn't live with knowing that students had been injured, or even killed, because of him. He couldn't ask his friends for help. They had given him far too much for a lifetime. They invested themselves in his problems more than they did their own. He often wondered how they were still his friends, he had too many troubles. Aside from Sirius, who had his own dysfunctional family to deal with, there was nothing that needed to worry them. Except for him.

He had to think of something on his own. Should he leave the school? He would possibly be saving the lives of his classmates. If he did leave, where would he go? He couldn't go home, his parents would never be able to accept him if they knew he dropped out of school. He grinned bitterly at the thought. Most would assume his parents wouldn't accept him because he was a werewolf, it would never cross their minds that his parents loved him despite of that. But they would never forgive him if he threw away his one chance at a normal life. But what was normal anyway? He had never been normal. Not since March of 1963, the month before he had been bitten. Never before had he hated Fenrir Greyback as much as he did right then.

Greyback had already destroyed Remus's innocence; did he have to come back for seconds? Remus bit the inside of his mouth, his mind was on overdrive. If he left, when would he do it? If he stayed, what was he going to do when Greyback finally decided to execute whatever plan he had up his sleeve? He couldn't continue acting as though nothing was weighing on his mind; his friends were able to see through the façade. They just knew enough not to say anything about it. It was only a matter of time before everything came crashing down. No watch could tell him how much time he had before it happened.

The door to the classroom opened and Lily strolled in. She smiled at Remus when she saw him and set her books down, flipping open to the chapter on poisons. As she opened her mouth to speak, Remus abruptly stood up.

"I have to go."

Lily was perplexed. "Remus… we're having a test on this next week, you have to work on it."

"I know… I just… I have to go." He frowned apologetically at her and collected his things. With one last apologetic look, he hurried out of the classroom. He didn't feel like studying anymore.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Thirty Eight: Feeling Normal**_

Sirius pulled the most shocked face he could. "_Depressed?_ Never!" He jumped off his bed. "We should remedy that!"

"How?" James asked, feigning a desperate tone. He slid off the bed, landing on his knees. He folded his hands together and shook them wildly. "_How?_"

"Dance in women's clothing?"

James rolled his eyes. "Sirius, stop living _your_ fantasies through _me_. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"We're going on fifty three, I think."

"Really? I thought we were at sixty."

"No, fifty three."

James got to his feet. "Well, if you're sure… But, in all seriousness, how do we solve my depression?"


	38. Feeling Normal

Chapter Thirty Eight  
Feeling Normal

"I can't believe they cancelled the Hogsmeade trip," Sirius lamented early one Monday evening mid-October.

Remus looked at his friend incredulously. The staff had cancelled it for the safety of their students. "They _had_ to, Sirius. A bunch of people died there only last week." He yanked on one of his socks, which was sliding off his foot. "You couldn't expect Dumbledore to let us go, especially when they didn't catch whoever did it."

"I hope they catch him soon," Peter muttered desperately. James, Sirius and Remus, who were piled on Sirius's bed, looked down at Peter, who was sitting on the floor. Mr. Pettigrew worked in one of the Hogsmeade businesses; they could easily see why Peter hoped for the quick arrest of the culprit. The day they heard of the attack, the boys had waited nervously with Peter as he awaited a letter from one of his parents, assuring him of the safety of his father. When Mrs. Pettigrew owled him, she told him that his father hadn't even gone to work that day. He had been feeling under the weather and decided to stay home. There were no words that could sufficiently describe the relief Peter felt at his mother's words.

"Are they rescheduling?" James asked, diverting the conversation away from the uncomfortable side. They knew Peter was doing his best to forget about it. Even with his father safe at home, he still wished the culprit was apprehended soon.

Remus shook his head, his brow furrowed. "I don't think so. If they do, it won't be for a long time." They all knew the professors would never let the students step foot in Hogsmeade after such an attack.

"There's goes the Christmas trip!" Sirius whined, throwing his hands up in the air and falling backwards on his mattress.

Remus shot his friend an angry glare. "You're taking this _very_ maturely, Sirius, as usual. People_ died_, that's as good a reason as any to miss a few trips to the village." He glanced hopefully down at Peter. "You'll back me up on this, right, Pete?"

It was obvious Peter wasn't truly listening to their conversation. "Mmhmm… sure, James."

"I'm taking that as an insult." Remus knew Peter was tuning them out; he didn't want to hear anymore about the attack on Hogsmeade. "Okay… change of subject. How about that test in Slughorn's class?" He had regretted skiving off Lily's tutoring session, as he severely needed the extra help. He knew next to nothing about brewing an effective poison and, as a result, melted a large hole right through the bottom of his cauldron and through the desk. His friends had fared better than he did.

"That was easy," Sirius said offhandedly, sitting up straight again.

"Yeah," James conceded wholeheartedly. "I'd do it all over again."

Sirius scoffed. "No you wouldn't."

"Yeah, I wouldn't." He turned to Remus. "I felt sorry for your desk. It must've hurt when the potion went right through it."

Remus shifted his head from side to side guiltily. "Yeah… well… that's what I get for leaving tutoring before we even started."

"Why did you?" James inquired interestedly. It was not like Remus to skive off a tutoring session without a good reason. There had been no full moon that night.

Remus had resolved not to tell them any of his thoughts about Greyback. Those thoughts were precisely the reason he had left. He couldn't sit still long enough to focus on something as trivial as potions when there was Fenrir Greyback to think about. "No reason, I wasn't feeling well."

James raised his eyebrows at Sirius, but said nothing else, for which Remus was thankful. He didn't very much feel like creating a lie to cover up why he hadn't been feeling well.

Instead, James cleared his throat and shifted his sitting position. "Well, you'll do better next time."

"Hopefully." He slid off the bed and crouched down beside Peter, who had become occupied with a dust bunny that was tumbling across the floor. "Come on; let's go down to the kitchens." One of the easiest ways to cheer Peter up was to sneak down to the kitchens and have the House Elves whip up some of his favourite foods. Their favourite House Elf, Twinky, was always ready to assist them. Peter considered Remus's offer for a moment, before yielding. He stood up and led the way to the door. Remus looked over his shoulder at James and Sirius, who were still sitting on Sirius's bed. "You guys coming?"

"Nah," Sirius told him. "You go on ahead." Remus shrugged and followed Peter out of the dormitory. When the two were gone, Sirius turned to James. "What would we have done if Pete's dad had been one of the people who were killed?"

James shivered at the thought. "Don't even _ask_ me that, Sirius. He wasn't, so why should we worry about that?" James just wanted to forget about the possibility of Mr. Pettigrew's death.

Sirius understood how James felt. He, himself, had no idea what he would have said to Peter. He had never been skilled at consoling someone after the death of a loved one. He could only attribute this to the fact that he had rarely ever encountered a situation such as that. The only time he could really remember was when Remus's grandparents had died. He didn't think he had done a good job at it, anyway. James had been the one to accompany their friend home, not him. He hadn't even thought of that idea. No, consoling someone who was in mourning was not one of Sirius's good abilities.

"We would've just been there for him," James said firmly. "If that ever happens to any of us, we would just be there for each other." James sighed and pulled his knees up to his chest, staring at the wall opposite him. "Okay, I feel depressed now."

Sirius pulled the most shocked face he could. "_Depressed?_ Never!" He jumped off his bed. "We should remedy that!"

"How?" James asked, feigning a desperate tone. He slid off the bed, landing on his knees. He folded his hands together and shook them wildly. "_How?_"

"Dance in women's clothing?"

James rolled his eyes. "Sirius, stop living _your_ fantasies through _me_. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"We're going on fifty three, I think."

"Really? I thought we were at sixty."

"No, fifty three."

James got to his feet. "Well, if you're sure… But, in all seriousness, how do we solve my depression?"

"I'm all for turning Snivelly's hair pink."

James frowned at this suggestion. "We just got him the other day with that itching charm. Let's think of someone else."

"Like who?"

"I dunno… we could always go after Abrac Zabini. We haven't gotten him in a while."

Sirius grimaced. "He would look too good in pink."

James cringed and took a cautious step back. "I'm a little afraid that you actually thought of what colour he would look good in."

"I didn't, I just thought of that now."

James dismissed this claim, not wanting to question the validity of it. "Who are we going to hex?"

"What about Evans?"

James looked horrified at the very notion. "Are you barking mad? She'd murder me!"

"That's half the fun of it!"

James raised his hand, ready to bring it down on Sirius's head, when the dormitory door opened. To their utter shock, it was Lily Evans. James and Sirius gaped at her; they had never realised girls were allowed in their dormitory. They vaguely wondered if it worked the other way around. Most importantly, had she heard Sirius's suggestion to hex her? Judging by the expression on her face, she hadn't. She didn't look angry. Instead, she looked embarrassed to even be in there, but shook it off and shut the door.

"What's up, Evans?" James asked coolly, folding his arms across his chest.

Lily answered just as coolly. "I just thought you'd want to know, your friends are in the Hospital Wing."

"What? Why?" Sirius questioned quickly. What could Remus and Peter possibly have done that would hospitalize them?

"They were ambushed down on the first floor by some Slytherins."

Sirius wheeled around to face James. "I _told_ you we should've gotten Snape."

Lily gritted her teeth. Of course the first person Sirius would accuse would be Severus Snape. "It wasn't _Severus_, Black. It was some older students that you don't even know."

"How do you know this, anyway?"

Lily's face took on a hard, mean look. She did not loathe Remus and Peter nearly as much as she loathed the two boys standing before her. "I heard some Slytherins who had seen it boasting about it."

"What happened to the ones who actually did it?"

"I imagine they're in the Hospital Wing too. The Slytherins who were boasting about it probably forgot to mention that -" She hurriedly stepped aside as James and Sirius bounded for the door. "You're welcome!" she called at their retreating backs.

"Yeah," Sirius called back. "Thanks, Evans!" They hurried through the crowded common room, nearly destroying a group of first years and their game of Wizard Chess. The only good thing they could think of was that Lily said that the culprits were in the Hospital Wing too. That meant that Remus and Peter had gotten them good enough to cause some damage. It was just like Slytherins to neglect to mention that they had been brought down by a group of Gryffindors, especially ones that were younger than they were. The ones who were boasting must have chosen to repress their housemates and the damage that Remus and Peter had inflicted. They followed the corridor until they were outside the infirmary and subjected to hearing Madam Pomfrey's furious tirade about the dangers of dueling. The boys snickered at each other. They had heard this a million times before. They waited until her voice died down before entering.

It was easy to see that Remus and Peter had gotten the better of the Slytherins, though James and Sirius supposed that the majority of the damage on the Slytherins had been reversed. The older boys still looked as if they had been shoved through an extremely tiny hole. They looked shorter and smaller than they probably were and their faces were somewhat scrunched together. James and Sirius could only imagine what else their friends had done to defend themselves. Remus and Peter were sitting next to each other on one of the vacant beds, their faces ashen, their robes singed, and their arms bandaged, but otherwise looking quite pleased with themselves. James and Sirius strolled over, eager to hear what had occurred.

"So," James began casually. "What did we tell you two about fighting when we're not around?"

Remus looked thoughtful for a moment, staring up at the ceiling. "To do it more often?"

"That's what I thought."

Sirius sat down beside Peter and observed his friend's ragged appearance. "What did they do? Shove you two in a fireplace?"

"They tried," Peter muttered darkly. Then, smiling, he added, "We still would've come out better than they did."

"They caught us when we were going down to the kitchens," Remus explained lightly. "They tried hexing us and ended up setting our sleeves on fire."

James flinched. "Ouch."

Remus waved it off, as if it was every day that someone ignited his clothes. "It looks worse than it is. Right, Pete?"

Peter nodded agreeably. "You couldn't feel it after a while."

"That usually isn't a good thing, you guys," Sirius told them gravely. "Doesn't that mean you lost nerves in your arm or something?"

"Probably." Peter observed the bandage wrapped around his arm, wondering if what Sirius said was true. He then decided that it didn't matter and continued with the story. "So, Remus and I got them good. They were small enough to be put in a little satchel by the time we were through with them."

"Really?" James said, leaning back, impressed.

Remus grinned proudly. "Yeah. We got detention for a week with Twikom after she caught us, but that's nothing."

"I never thought I'd hear the day Remus Lupin said a detention was nothing," James whispered to Sirius.

"We must be having a bad influence on him."

Before any of the boys could get another word out, Madam Pomfrey came bustling out of her office to check on her patients. She clicked her tongue in disgust when she approached the two Slytherins. The boys wondered if she did that because she was angry or because they looked so disfigured. They preferred to think that it was the latter, but knew it was the former. Or it could have been a bit of both. When she was through with the Slytherins, she strode over to the Gryffindor boys and briskly gave Remus and Peter the once-over before announcing that they were free to go, only to return the next day to change their bandages.

"And no more dueling," she warned them distinctly as they left the ward.

"Can't make any promises," Remus and Peter mumbled under their breath.

* * *

Remus and Peter sat in the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, their hands cramping painfully as they scrawled out three hundred lines of _I will not duel in the hallway_. Professor Twikom was nowhere to be found. They had only seen her once since they arrived. She had been waiting just inside the doorway with a stack of parchment and the instructions ready to give to her detainees. Once she was sure the boys were settled and at work with their lines, she hurried out of the classroom to a destination unknown to the boys. They hadn't thought of anything at first, but now that their detainment was almost over, they wished she would appear. They couldn't leave unless she allowed them to.

"Where do you reckon she's gotten to?" Peter asked Remus as he looked toward the doorway, hoping she would suddenly materialize.

"I dunno," Remus replied concernedly, also peering at the doorway. "I hope she gets back soon." Remus did not really wish this, as he always got an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach when he was around her. He only wanted her there so they could leave. Just as he thought this, the door swung open and the professor reappeared, a piece of parchment clutched tightly in her hand. She strode over to her desk and set the parchment down. Without even acknowledging the boys, she left again.

"Why do I feel like she's forgotten we're here?" Peter asked Remus exasperatedly.

"Because she did." He set his quill down and cracked his sore and cramped knuckles. He wondered why the Slytherins were not serving detention as well; they had started the fight. He knew it was because he and Peter had bested them in the worst way possible, but they hadn't exactly escaped unscathed. Their arms still bore bandages for their healing burns.

"She looked worried," Peter was saying, breaking Remus out of his thoughts.

"Yeah… yeah, she did." Remus scratched his chin and let his eyes wander over to the piece of parchment Twikom had set down. It was wrinkled and slightly rolled up. This must have been the source of the professor's anxiety. He turned to Peter. "You don't think that," he pointed to the parchment, "has anything to do with it."

Without hesitation, Peter nodded. "Definitely. She looked like she wanted to burn it." He stood up and joined Remus where he stood. "I wonder what it says."

"We can't go looking at a teacher's mail." Remus knew that they would be serving more detention if they were caught looking at Twikom's letter.

"Who says we can't?"

"I think a few people would." Despite his resistance, Remus couldn't deny that he was curious as to what might be written in the letter. He bit his bottom lip in frustration, one look couldn't hurt. He hurried over to the desk and snatched up the letter. He quickly scanned it and felt the knot that had been residing in his stomach since the beginning of the term constrict. It was a letter written in a scratchy, disjointed handwriting. It didn't give off the impression of the sender being well-educated. As Remus read, he saw familiar phrases. He had heard them recently and he knew whom he had heard them from. Greyback wasn't going to stop. With a shaky hand, he set the letter down and tried to act natural. "Come on, Pete."

Peter did a double take. "What?"

"Let's go. Twikom can't get mad at us if we finished our lines."

Peter narrowed his eyes to get a closer look at his friend. Remus's face had gone a shade or two paler. "What did that letter say?"

"Nothing," Remus said hastily, his voice raising an octave. He began leading the way to the door. "Come _on_, Peter."

But Peter wasn't budging. He had to know what that letter said. Swiftly, he made a run for it, and Remus was not fast enough to catch him. Peter snatched the letter up and pushed Remus's hand away as he tried to grab it back. Peter walked away, the letter almost pressed against his nose as he read it. When he finished, he spun around to see Remus glaring at him. "I said it was nothing, Peter."

Peter merely gaped at him. When he regained the use of his tongue, he was disbelieving. "_This_ is _nothing_? Remus, who are you trying to fool?"

Remus ripped the letter out of Peter's hand. "Myself, thank you." He replaced the letter on Twikom's desk and proceeded through the open doorway, not halting or slowing his pace to match Peter's. He heard Peter's footsteps following him, though they seemed to be coming from far away, rather than right behind him. Peter's voice, when he began speaking, also seemed to be a long distance away.

"Why are you pretending that this isn't happening? Remus!" he shouted when his friend didn't respond. "You've always been the most realistic one out of all of us, why aren't you being like that now?" He stood momentarily in his spot, hoping that Remus would answer him. His hopes, however, were not received. "Remus, you know this is happening! Why are you suddenly acting like this?"

Remus snarled and whipped around. There was an anger, and a terror, in his eyes that Peter had never seen before and wished to never see again. It was unnerving. "I'm acting like this because all those times when I was being realistic never involved a vicious werewolf trying to get me and make me like him! _That's_ why, Peter, and if you don't like it, that's too bad!" He whipped back around and continued furiously on his way to the common room.

"I know you're scared, Remus." Peter was trying to be reasonable, bring his friend back down to a calm level. This was futile.

Remus didn't even stop walking, he spoke as he went. "_Scared?_ I'm not _scared_, Peter. I'm terrified! You don't get it. You won't get it until it's happened to you and I pray to Merlin that it never will because you don't deserve it. _No one_ deserves it. No one except Fenrir Greyback himself and he's the one who caused it." He finally stopped walking so Peter could catch up with him. Peter hovered behind his friend, unsure if another outburst was to follow. Slowly, Remus's shoulders began to relax and his breathing steadied. "I'm sorry, Peter."

Peter blinked. "For what?"

"Blowing up at you. None of this is your fault. I've just been frustrated lately."

"I can see why…"

"I just… I guess I never thought something like this could happen." He loosened his fists and walked over towards the wall, sliding down against it so he was sitting with his knees against his chest. "I thought that once Greyback ruined your life that was it. He wasn't going to come back for seconds."

Peter groaned inwardly. This wasn't his area of expertise. James or Sirius was usually the one who handled situations like this. Peter had never been involved in the inspirational words of comfort, except as backup. He never had to take care of it himself. He had no idea what to say. He joined Remus by the wall and sat down. "He didn't… Greyback didn't ruin your life."

Remus had half a mind to ask how could Greyback _not_ have ruined his life, but then realised that Peter was right. Yes, he had his monthly transformations, which were easily the worst kinds of pain he would ever experience, but aside from that… he had friends. It took him so long to find true friends, friends who would never abandon him because of his condition. That wasn't something that could qualify as a destroyed life, quite the opposite. He was too busy getting caught up in his worry to realise these things. "Yeah… you're right."

"You have every right to be scared, though."

"I know." Remus stood up and looked around the vacant hallway. "What do you think will happen if he _does_ find out it's me?"

Peter couldn't very well lie, Remus would know. "Something bad."

There was a grim sort of acceptance in Remus's voice. "That's what I thought." He leaned against the wall. "Do you ever think we'll have a year at this place that's close to normal?"

"First year was fairly normal," Peter reasoned.

"With the exception of a lunatic teacher."

"We got rid of him."

"Let me rephrase my question, then… Can we ever have a year like first year where our only problem was getting rid of a teacher we hated?"

"I don't think so."

"What do you suppose will happen next year?"

"Sirius becomes a Prefect?"

Remus grinned lightly. "That's scarier than Greyback."

"Hey, I don't think me being a Prefect is so scary." Remus and Peter looked around to see James and Sirius approaching them, Sirius looking considerably insulted. They stopped when they reached the boys by the wall. "I may be loud and obnoxious and a troublemaker, but I could _definitely_ be a Prefect."

James looked doubtful. "I don't think so, mate." He patted Sirius on the shoulder and talked to him in a voice that suggested he was speaking to someone slow. "You see, you have to be a _good_ boy, not a troublemaker."

"I get good grades," Sirius argued defensively.

James turned to Remus and Peter. "You know, I still find that unbelievable."

"James… I _act_ stupid, but I'm not _actually_ stupid."

"That's debatable."

"Want to go find my records and prove it?"

James stepped forward, standing on his toes so he was taller than Sirius. "Let's go find them!" he challenged.

"Come on then!" Sirius began marching down the corridor.

"Hey, wait a moment." James sped off to meet Sirius. "Where exactly are we going to find them?"

"How should I know? Come on!"

Remus and Peter watched as James and Sirius ran up the marble steps. Laughing quietly, Peter turned to Remus. "After listening to them, don't you feel normal?"

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Thirty Nine: Lockdown**_

"For once, I'm agreeing with this lot," Abrac Zabini admitted grudgingly, jerking a thumb towards the Gryffindors.

"That's when you _know_ it's bad," Peter shouted as the wind took up a roaring howl. "When Gryffindors and Slytherins agree." There were some mumbles of consent.

Sirius shook his head. "The world is ending!"

"Figuratively or literally?" James asked, trying desperately to lighten the mood.

"Both."

The group of students cringed, shut their eyes and tightened their holds on themselves when a fresh gust of wind brought forth a tremendous sheet of rain.


	39. Lockdown

Chapter Thirty Nine  
Lockdown

Halloween morning dawned with black, stormy skies. The treetops in the Forbidden Forest swayed dangerously; some trees were almost bent perpendicular because of the violent winds. The students had been warned to stay away from them, lest the trees fall. Rain was splattering noisily against the windows, making it impossible to see anything through the obscurity. In fact, it was only because a first year Hufflepuff had been foolish enough to open one of the giant double doors to see outside that anyone knew how much the trees were suffering. Needless to say, the Hufflepuff was instantly swept away and it took the combined efforts of Professor Kettleburn and Hagrid to retrieve her from the eye of the storm. Speaking of Professor Kettleburn, he was not deterred in the least by the inclement weather. He still insisted on holding class.

The fourth year Gryffindors and Slytherins rarely agreed on anything, let alone _worked_ on anything together in harmony. Today, however, was a special day, one that temporarily changed this fact. They were wet, soaked completely through to the skin. Their hair was plastered unpleasantly to their heads. Their noses were dripping continuously. They were shivering unpleasantly. More or less, they were mad, uncomfortable, mad, saturated, and mad. They wanted revenge on their professor, and they wanted it badly. The only problem was that they didn't know how to get it. It would be wrong to take it out on the Nifflers they were working with. The Nifflers hadn't caused them anything problems (with the exception of one trying determinedly to snatch away Lily's earrings).

Professor Kettleburn had excused himself inside Hagrid's cabin for a moment, to deposit Lily's earrings with Hagrid, well out of the reach of the magical creatures. The students doubted this was the true reason he went there, he just wanted to get out of the torrential downpour. The Gryffindors and Slytherins were huddled against the cabin walls, hoping that the outward jutting of the roof would shield them from the rain, if only slightly. They all grumbled mutinously, wondering how their professor could possibly let them work in this weather. The thunder was rumbling and lighting was striking almost every minute. This was nothing short of pure insanity.

"I think I speak for everyone when I say this is insane!" Sirius shouted over the thunderous winds. His statement was met with many raucous roars of consent.

"What is he _thinking_?" Frank Longbottom asked his classmates incredulously. No other professor would have done this. Professor Grines had cancelled all Herbology lessons for the day.

"Didn't he _see_ that Hufflepuff get _picked up_ by the wind?" James said, his voice hoarse from the raised tones.

"Of course he did," Remus groaned loudly. "He was one of the ones who had to go get her."

"Does he _enjoy_ being wet?" Alice Gordon questioned fiercely, rubbing her arms in a futile attempt to stay warm.

"If he does, he's out of his mind," Lily muttered, so low that no one heard her.

"For once, I'm agreeing with this lot," Abrac Zabini admitted grudgingly, jerking a thumb towards the Gryffindors.

"That's when you _know_ it's bad," Peter shouted as the wind took up a roaring howl. "When Gryffindors and Slytherins agree." There were some mumbles of consent.

Sirius shook his head. "The world is ending!"

"Figuratively or literally?" James asked, trying desperately to lighten the mood.

"Both."

The group of students cringed, shut their eyes and tightened their holds on themselves when a fresh gust of wind brought forth a tremendous sheet of rain.

"That's it!" Snape and James shouted simultaneously, only to stare at each other in amazement.

James stepped forward and turned so he was facing his fellow classmates. His eyes were glinting with a determination to get back inside the castle. "We are _not_ staying out here anymore!"

"Hear, hear!" Remus cheered. It was a full moon that night and he was not benefiting his health by being out there in the rainstorm. He wanted to get into the warmth just as much as his classmates.

"_Obviously_ we're not staying out here, Potter," sneered Evan Rosier. As much as he agreed with James, he was not going to be nice about it. "But what are we going to do about it?"

"We only have a few minutes before Kettleburn comes back out here," Sirius assumed through clattering teeth. "What can we do?"

"Run?" suggested a Slytherin girl by the name of Juliet Percival.

"We're not going to get very far," Remus told her dismally, gesturing towards the long distance they would have to run. "He'll see us before we're even up the slope." The other Gryffindors and Slytherins muttered and nodded in assent.

"How about we set the Nifflers free and have Kettleburn go running after them so we can escape?" Alice offered, shrugging her shoulders. They Nifflers wouldn't get far, there was no danger in letting them go for a run.

Zabini quickly stamped on this idea. "He'll expect _us_ to run after them _with_ him."

Severus Snape's eyes widened suddenly as he thought of something. "How many of us are wearing watches?"

All of the Slytherins and James, Sirius, Lily and Frank raised their hands, displaying the bands of their timepieces. Snape called them forward, asking them to hold their wrists out. He held his wand aloft and brought it down lightly on each of them. The hands spun around so they matched the time the class ended.

"Why didn't we just wind them?" Peter asked the Slytherin.

"That would've taken too long," Snape replied calmly. "Lupin, go inside and tell Kettleburn the class ended."

Normally, Remus would have thought twice about taking orders from Severus Snape, but the situation was desperate. Unless he wanted to be locked up in the Hospital Wing for a week with no foreseeable leave, he would listen to what the Slytherin was telling him to do. He hurried into the cabin, only after snatching James's watch, to confront Professor Kettleburn, who was in a deep conversation with Hagrid about breeding a new species.

"You know," Sirius said as the group turned to try to peer through the windows. "He's not the greatest of liars."

James and Peter glanced at each other. They moved over to Sirius and spoke in hushed tones so the others couldn't hear. "_We_ believed him, all those times he lied to us about visiting his mum when he wasn't," James pointed out.

"Well, we're just stupid." Sirius laughed as James slapped him on the side of the head. He spun around and looked through the lowest window on the cabin walls. "Looks like Kettleburn's a bit confused."

The Slytherins and Gryffindors pushed their way over to the window to get a better look and, as a result, pushing James, Sirius and Peter out of the way. Remus and Kettleburn were going back and forth with each other. Kettleburn was pointing to his own wristwatch, which had the correct time, while Remus pointed to the one he had taken off of James before he went inside. No one outside could hear what they were saying, but it looked as if both the professor and the student were getting immeasurably frustrated. Kettleburn's eyes were narrowing and Remus's face was turning red.

"Come on, Lupin," muttered Juliet Percival vehemently.

"I'm frightened, Sirius," James said stepping back from the group. "A _Slytherin_ is cheering on a _Gryffindor_."

Sirius nodded agreeably. "The world must be at an end."

Peter stood on his toes to get a better look, only after shoving his way back to the front. He grinned triumphantly. "I think we may have success."

Kettleburn was hanging his head in defeat, moving it slowly back and forth. Remus must have gotten through to him. He must have for Kettleburn to look like that. They couldn't see the expression on Remus's face, as it was obscured by something hanging off the ceiling. They couldn't tell if he was a triumph or a miserable failure. The class backed away from the window when they saw Kettleburn making his way out of the cabin, Remus trailing at his heels. When the professor and student emerged into the stormy weather, the Slytherins and Gryffindors hurried to see if their mission had been worthwhile.

Professor Kettleburn cleared his throat loudly over the whistling wind. "If you wanted to end the class early because of the weather, you could have just asked me." Every mouth of each of the students dropped open. "You didn't have to think of this elaborate scheme to trick me! Class dismissed!"

For a moment, the fourth years were far too stunned to move and, as a result, got drenched by a sudden downpour of rain where they were standing. The rain pattering against their already freezing bodies, the Slytherins and Gryffindors trooped back up to the warmth and dryness of the castle. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter walked, huddled together, muttering mutinously about the class. Nice as Professor Kettleburn was, he was positively clueless about everything that wasn't a magical creature. Did he honestly believe his students loved that class so much that they would be willing to brave torrential downpour? The only thing they did that for was Quidditch.

"Mental!" Sirius shouted for the fifth time since they had begun their trek back to the castle.

"Gee, Sirius, I don't think we heard you the first four times. What is Kettleburn?" James inquired sardonically. Wet weather always made him sarcastic.

Sirius, however, did not detect the acerbic tones. "Mental! Bloody insane!"

"Oh, is _that_ what he is? I was beginning to think his behaviour was perfectly normal."

"He _is_ mental," Remus conceded wholeheartedly. "For a moment, I had him believing that it really _was_ time to leave and that our watches hadn't been changed."

"Speaking of which, can I have my watch back?" James requested, holding out his hand.

"Oh, yeah." Remus undid the snaps on the band and dropped the timepiece into James's hand as Sirius pushed open the doorway into the castle. The warmness of the castle and the smell of pumpkins coming from the Great Hall was a welcome relief from the bitterness of the outside. The boys drifted in the direction of the dining hall and peered inside to see what it looked like. The professors who did not have a class were busy decorating the hall with floating pumpkins and bats. The boys knew the House Elves must have been hard at work in the kitchens.

"Shame you can't go tonight," Peter told Remus sympathetically.

Remus shrugged his shoulders, feigning indifference. "There's always next year, isn't there?" He shook off the annoyance he felt at the full moon for having to fall on Halloween night. Rubbing his stomach, which had suddenly taken to doing a few flips, he turned to his friends. "Anyway, I think I should go to the Hospital Wing. I'm starting to feel a bit sick."

"See you tomorrow, mate," James said quietly as Remus quickened his step up the marble staircase. James, Sirius and Peter veered off to their left and descended into the cool dungeons. None of them was looking forward to Potions today. They did not find it much fun concocting poisons. The only consolation was that it was probable Slughorn was not going to get it into his head to test them out on the students. That was only the work of a crazy, vindictive, Crane-like professor. The boys shuddered as they tried to imagine what it would have been like if Professor Crane was teaching Potions. They had no doubt in their minds that he _would_ test the poisons out on them.

They entered the classroom with the Slytherins and saw their cauldrons bubbling at their seats. The potions had to simmer between their lessons before they could continue and it seemed that Slughorn had been keeping the poisons well-prepared for them. The boys took their seats behind their cauldrons and looked inside them; they had turned more or less the right shade of green, not too dark and not too light. Professor Slughorn emerged from his office and simply instructed them to begin working where they had left off.

"What are the odds that Professor Kettleburn will do that to us again?" James asked, uncorking a vial of caterpillars.

"You mean leave us outside in the middle of a storm?" Sirius questioned as he tipped a container of porcupine quills into his cauldron. "I'd say the odds are very good."

"The man is out of his mind," Peter marveled, shaking his head.

When Potions let out, the boys joined the throng of students flocking into the Entrance Hall, all intent on making their way to the Great Hall to see it decorated for the Halloween Feast later that night. They forced their way through a gang of third year girls who were shrieking excitedly and discovered that the hall was in shambles. The house tables and the staff table were overturned, pumpkins were smashed and the bats were huddled in a corner in the very back of the hall, flying fearfully. The boys exchanged shocked looks – this was bad, even for Peeves.

"What's going on?" Lily Evans, Alice Gordon and Frank Longbottom had appeared beside the boys, wondering what was causing the crowd.

"Take a look." James stepped aside, giving Lily, Alice and Frank a clear view of the disaster area.

"Merlin," Lily whispered astonished, her eyes wide. "Who did that?"

"We were just wondering that," Sirius told her gravely. "I don't think Peeves was behind it this time."

"Attention." The crowd of students spun around to see Professor Dumbledore. His eyes, which were usually twinkling brightly, were serious and his mouth was set in a stern frown. "Would you all please enter the Great Hall?" The students stared at him; the Great Hall was in pieces. Why would the Headmaster tell them to go inside? Dumbledore seemed to realise this and so he rectified the problem. "Ah, yes." He waved his wand and the room was repaired. "Now, may you enter? You will be spending the remainder of the day and the night in here." Immediately, worried chatter exploded amongst everyone. "Please, do as I say."

Once the doors to the Great Hall were locked securely, students began shouting out reasons why they suspected they were under lockdown. Every student, young and old, knew that someone inside the castle was dangerous, but they could not understand who the source was. Who was it? What was it? Was the intruder an outsider or someone they had thought belonged inside? What could this intruder possibly have been looking for? The boys sat down at the Gryffindor table, which had been supplied with their dinner.

"Is it just me or is today stranger than usual?" Peter asked as he put some chicken on his plate.

"Debimatly," Sirius said through a mouthful of mashed potatoes.

"You're disgusting," James commented, wrinkling his nose.

Sirius swallowed with great difficulty. "You're no better."

"At least I _swallow_ before I talk."

"I just thought of something," Peter said, halting the impending arguement that was about to ensue. "What about the kids in the Hospital Wing?"

James and Sirius knew Peter was only talking about one person in particular. They hadn't thought about that. Would they smuggle Remus out of the castle earlier than was normal? It would make sense… every student was in the Great Hall and would remain there for the rest of the night. Now was as good a time as any, unless, of course, the intruder had not left the premises yet. Madam Pomfrey may not want to move him just yet, but they didn't know how long it would take before they declared the castle safe.

"Hopefully they're making sure they're safe," James replied carefully. He had no doubt someone was listening in.

* * *

November first dawned with all of the students waking up in their puffy, purple sleeping bags. They were strewn across the floor of the Great Hall, all having fallen asleep still talking about the unknown trespasser. Professor McGonagall had appeared in the dining hall late the previous night, announcing that they would not be required to attend class that day, but that the castle was safe. The intruder had escaped, but, thankfully, no one had been harmed. With this news, the students were able to sleep easier.

"You think they brought him back yet?" Sirius asked as he, James and Peter left the Great Hall, intending to drop their belongings off in the dormitory.

"Probably," James replied, adjusting the strap on his bag. "Want to head up there now?"

Sirius and Peter nodded eagerly and they veered off their set path. It wasn't early by any means, they had taken advantage of the fact that classes were cancelled for the day and had slept late. Remus would definitely be back. The only question was whether or not Madam Pomfrey would permit them entry. If she was hassled enough, she would shoo them away before they even opened their mouths, already knowing what question was on their minds. Sometimes the nurse was completely unreasonable. It wasn't as if they were going to be roughhousing with Remus, they knew better than that.

Unfortunately, when they finally arrived at the infirmary, the nurse acted just as they had predicted. "No," she barked firmly, ready to slam the door in their faces. "He had a terrible night; I won't let you disturb him."

"When have we ever _disturbed_ him?" Sirius asked disbelievingly. They never disturbed Remus when he was recovering. They would talk to him and he would talk back. They would leave when they saw that he was tired and wanted to sleep. That was hardly what they would call _disturbing him_. Peter jabbed Sirius in the ribs; they were never going to have their way if Sirius took up an attitude with the nurse. Sirius, however, took this with the wrong intentions. "Ow!" he shouted, causing James, Peter and Madam Pomfrey to jump back in shock. "Peter, I think you broke my ribs!"

The nurse rolled her eyes. "Mr. Black, will you _please_ lower your voice?"

"But Peter broke my ribs!"

"I did not, you idiot," Peter hissed angrily. He wasn't about to let his attempt for Sirius to calm down be mistaken as a way to trick the nurse.

"Excuse us, Madam Pomfrey," James said loudly, grabbing both Sirius and Peter by their shoulders. "We'll be going now, sorry to have bothered you." With unusual force, James yanked the two backwards, spun them around and pushed them forward.

"What was that for?" Sirius shouted when they were well out of hearing range of the Hospital Wing.

"You're a moron," James told him exasperatedly. "If you _really_ want to get in there, go trip down some stairs and _really_ break your legs."

"Who stuck a broomstick up your-"

"I just think maybe we shouldn't go in there. He had a bad night."

"That's never stopped you before," Peter pointed out.

"He's had to go through this twice this month, let him rest and you can annoy him when he's better."

Sirius huffed, folding his arms across his chest. "I resent that." Dropping his arms to his sides, he cocked his head sideways at James. "But, really, James, what's on your mind?"

James shook his head. "Nothing… We should just go back to the common room." He started on his way back towards Gryffindor Tower. Sirius and Peter let him go, deciding that it was best to leave James to his thoughts for the time being. Instead, they went down to the Great Hall to see what they could scrounge up for lunch. James was acting oddly; he had never before refused the chance to see Remus after a full moon. He had also never before refused to tell them what he was thinking. He was always open about whatever thoughts were on his mind. Why the sudden change?

They didn't find the answer to this out that day, as when they returned to the common room James was leaving for Quidditch practise. Biggs was taking advantage of the fact that classes were cancelled and was using it to put it some extra sessions before their first match. James must have been pleased with that – Biggs was beginning to show the obsessive signs that Cory had exhibited numerous times. James hurriedly told them that he wouldn't be back until that night. Sirius and Peter were at a loss as to what to do. They had witnessed far too many Quidditch practises than was natural and they didn't want to work on the potion without James. Sirius was a sufficient potions maker, but he was nothing without James helping him.

There was always going back to the Hospital Wing to see if Madam Pomfrey had lightened up at all and would let them in. They severely doubted this, but it was worth a try. She was usually feeling less harassed by the evening, when Remus was in less pain and resting comfortably. She would take this opportunity to give herself a break. Sure enough, when they reached the infirmary, the nurse let them in. She did, however, remind them that on other occasions such as this, they would do well to remember that she did not appreciate them trying to get in so early in the morning. Sirius and Peter had to resist the urge to tell her different; this was hardly going to stop them.

Madam Pomfrey disappeared into her office, leaving the boys to themselves. Sirius and Peter spotted Remus lying on one of the beds in the back of the ward. His eyes were shut, but they knew he was not sleeping, as there was an absence of snoring in the air. The bulk of his injuries had clearly been mended sometime during the day, but he still looked ill. His face was that all too familiar shade of white and his arm was bound up in a sling, preventing movement. His eyes fluttered open when he heard the sound of footsteps.

"Hey," he said tiredly, pushing himself further up his bed with his good arm, wincing slightly.

Sirius and Peter took their seats at the foot of the bed. "So," Sirius said brightly. "Splendid night, I see."

"Yes, it was quite lovely." Remus flinched and lightly placed a hand on his side. He felt like there was something wedged in his side. For all he knew, there very well might have been before he had awoken. It was then that he noticed someone was missing from their group. "Where's James?"

"Qudditch," Peter answered simply.

"He was acting a bit… strange today, actually," Sirius went on, knowing that Remus may have some ideas as to why James was acting the way he was.

Remus cocked an eyebrow. "How do you mean?"

"For one thing, he actually _listened_ when Madam Pomfrey told us we couldn't come in here this morning."

Remus considered this. Anyone who didn't know James at all would say that he was simply respecting this wishes of the nurse and doing what was best for his friend. They, however, did know James and were able to see that this was unlike him in every way. James knew that Remus would rather be woken up in the early hours of the morning after a full moon to be with his friends, rather than have to sleep all day without them visiting.

"What else?" Remus asked intently.

"He wouldn't tell us what's bothering him," Peter explained concernedly. "James is an open potions book, he tells us everything."

"What d'you guys think is wrong?"

"I'll tell you what's wrong."

Remus, Sirius and Peter looked up to see James standing in the doorway, his face almost as white as Remus's. His hair was drenched and his Quidditch robes were splattered with mud. Practise couldn't have concluded; Biggs would make them play through every weather condition. So what was James doing there? "Who else would want to break into the castle? Who else has already done it?"

Sirius, Remus and Peter glanced at each other with wide eyes. The pieces had not been put together earlier; they hadn't been concerned about the whom before. Now that James brought it up, only one person came to mind. How had they not realised it before? There was only one person… and he was hardly a person at all.

"You don't mean…" Sirius murmured, gaping at James.

"Fenrir Greyback."

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Forty: Frigid Fights**_

"We really have to get moving on this," James stated as he stirred the flies around the liquid.

"Well, is it our fault that someone has Quidditch practise every second of his life?"

"Blame Biggs for that, not me."

Sirius snorted. "Of course. I'll just walk right up to him and say, 'hey, lighten up on the Quidditch practises, would you? James has got to be brewing an illegal potion!' That would really benefit us."

James rolled his eyes, but instead of retorting, he turned to Peter. "What time is it, Pete?"

Peter, who was tackling some homework at the table, not taking in a word of the conversation until that point, checked his watch. "Quarter to eight."

Sirius frowned, annoyed. "Time to start packing up."


	40. Frigid Fights

Chapter Forty  
Frigid Fights

The boys were undoubtedly shocked by the news James had brought to them, but they were shocked more so by the fact that it had not even crossed their minds that Greyback could be the culprit behind the infiltration of the castle. The evidence was staring them in the face the entire time and they had still not seen it. Who else would have a reason – insane or not – to try and break into the castle? Only Greyback had the motivation to do so. But why had he done it on the day of a full moon? Remus wouldn't be in any of the likely places that Greyback would suspect, which explained the wreckage of the Great Hall. Greyback must not have been familiar with a student's schedule and went straight to the dining hall, not realising that everyone was still in class. This brought up another question – what had possessed him to do it in broad daylight?

They had later learned from Remus that he had not been in the castle at all when the intrusion occurred. Madam Pomfrey had elected to take him down to the Whomping Willow early, thinking that the bad weather would only worsen as the day transformed into night. She wanted to be back in the castle before then. Remus had not argued in the slightest against this; he could sleep just as well in the Shrieking Shack than in the Hospital Wing. The fact that Greyback had broken into the castle for a second time, however, made him eternally grateful for Madam Pomfrey's intense dislike of being wet. The boys now only wondered if Dumbledore was aware of the situation. He must have been… How could he _not_ be aware of it?

November brought with it a fresh blanket of snow that draped itself across the castle grounds. The castle went to sleep one night, completely green, and awoke the next morning completely white. The students, as usual, took advantage of the weather to have snowball fights, to go ice skating, or else to hex snowballs to follow around their enemies, periodically bashing them in the back of the head. A group of first years got it into their heads to build a snowman, only to have it crashing down as the result of the cruel tricks of some of the older, rougher students. The first years retaliated remarkably by charming the tree the older boys were sitting under to dump all of the snow on the branches onto the boys.

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter did not take to the snowy grounds as they had in the past years. Instead they locked themselves in the Room of Requirement for endless hours to work on the potion. They stored the cauldron in one of the numerous cabinets that had appeared when James announced they needed to keep it somewhere dark. They also took advantage of the sudden plethora of cabinets to keep the ingredients they hadn't gotten to using yet. Unfortunately, the boys couldn't spend nearly as much time as they would have liked in the Room of Requirement. People would start getting suspicious. It was simply not natural for the boys to not be causing some sort of havoc. So, they would prank someone at least once a week and claim that their quota was filled.

"Hand me the Lacewings, would you, Remus?" Sirius asked one evening. He was bent over the lip of the steaming cauldron, peering into the bubbling potion. Remus, who was sitting in one of the armchairs, flipping through the Animagus book, tossed Sirius the vial. "Thanks." He uncorked the container and tipped the contents in.

"We _really_ have to get moving on this," James stated as he stirred the flies around the liquid.

"Well, is it our fault that _someone_ has Quidditch practise every second of his life?"

"Blame Biggs for that, not me."

Sirius snorted. "Of course. I'll just walk right up to him and say, 'hey, lighten up on the Quidditch practises, would you? James has got to be brewing an illegal potion!' That would_ really _benefit us."

James rolled his eyes, but instead of retorting, he turned to Peter. "What time is it, Pete?"

Peter, who was tackling some homework at the table, not taking in a word of the conversation until that point, checked his watch. "Quarter to eight."

Sirius frowned, annoyed. "Time to start packing up."

"We should start bringing my cloak with us," James lamented as he corked the several bottles they had used. They always _intended_ to bring the Invisibility Cloak with them, so they could stay long past curfew, but no one ever _remembered_ to take it on their way out. James and Sirius stowed away the cauldron and the unused ingredients, and left with Remus and Peter.

As they traipsed up the corridor, Peter asked, "What are you guys doing for the holidays?"

"_Not_ going home," Sirius answered at once, grimacing at the very thought of Christmas at number twelve Grimmauld Place.

"I'm staying here," James replied contently. "I already told my parents before I left for school. Remember, we all agreed to spend the holiday here this year?"

"I was just wondering if plans had changed." Peter turned to Remus. "What about you? Staying or going?"

"Staying."

"We'll have the entire castle to ourselves," James said happily. "We can use that for working on the potion."

Sirius twirled a finger in mock celebration. "Just what I wanted to do over Christmas – work!"

"_You_ came up with this idea, Sirius."

"Actually, we _both_ did, James."

"Then why are you-"

"Relax, I was joking. Merlin, can't a guy make a joke?" He looked at James in amazement. James always knew when Sirius was joking. Why was he suddenly so defensive about everything? He had been that way ever since the break-in on Halloween. If anyone had a reason to worry about the infiltration, it was Remus, and Remus was not saying anything. So why was James acting worse than Remus was? "What's wrong with you, James?"

James raised an eyebrow, either feigning or truly not knowing what Sirius was talking about. "What do you mean?"

"You're acting as if _you're_ the one who has to worry."

"Worry about what?"

"James, you're not dense, so stop pretending that you are." Sirius spun around so he was facing James and, as a result, giving his friend no way to get around him. "You've been acting like this ever since you told us it was Greyback who got into the castle."

"You don't think that's something to worry about?" James was incredulous. How could Sirius stand there, acting as if there was nothing out of the ordinary going on? Hogwarts was a sacred place, a safe place, and its walls had somehow been penetrated. It hadn't happened only once, but twice now. If there was ever anything to be troubled by, it was this. It wasn't as though it wasn't directly affecting them either. It put one of his best friends in danger and James would not stand for it

"I do, James," Sirius admitted, hoping that he knew this already. "But you've been obsessing over it. Even Remus hasn't been like you." Sirius jerked a finger in Remus's direction. "I would expect _him_ to be acting the way you are."

"Don't think I haven't wanted to," Remus muttered under his breath so no one heard him.

"Sirius, Greyback got past _Dumbledore_!" James exclaimed exasperatedly. "Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"It proves that Dumbledore's human and can't be everywhere at once. But he _knows_ something's going on."

James grudgingly agreed with Sirius. As long as Dumbledore knew someone had gotten by his security, that meant something was going to be done to prevent this from happening a third time. Dumbledore _was_ only human, as Sirius said. He was undeniably a genius, but he could occasionally slip up. James tried shrugging the thoughts that had been clouding his mind for some time away or at least push them into a dark corner where he would not think about them.

* * *

It was the first day of the Christmas holiday and the boys were hopelessly bored. They had long ago exhausted snowball fights and hexing snowballs to follow Slytherins around, yet they did not want to stay in the castle, where there was absolutely nothing to do. However, the only thing that anyone seemed to be doing outside was, in fact, having snowball fights. They were not in the mood to work on the potion, as they had done so for three hours the previous day and they could swear that their cauldron was about to turn on them for overuse. They could always visit Hagrid and see what new creatures he had procured. Then again, they weren't truly in the mood for dealing with illegal magical creatures or the uneatable rock cakes he would push on them.

Finally, after endless deliberation, they elected to simply take a walk and do whatever came to them as they were walking. They collected their cloaks, scarves and gloves, and trooped out onto the snow covered grounds. The snow was shin deep, but was already giving signs of starting to melt. The weather was not nearly as cold as they thought it would be. James, in particular, was pleased about this. Snow didn't do anything to damage a Quidditch match, but it was a pain having to stand in it during practises. They trudged through the snow, the legs of their pants soaked within seconds, and headed towards the Quidditch Pitch.

James led the way, getting it into his head that it would be fun to fly around for an hour or so. Despite the never-ending Quidditch practises he had to endure, he never got enough of flying. If it was humanly possible, he would have been born with a broomstick attached to him. Sirius loved flying as well, but he was not nearly as fanatical about it as James. He could get on for a month without ever swinging a leg over the handle of a broomstick. Remus and Peter, well, they did all they could to avoid ever going flying after their disastrous Flying Lessons during first year. Nevertheless, they joined James as he led the way toward the broom cupboard. He had left his own broom in the castle and did not want to run back and get it.

"Here you go," he said, tossing Sirius a broomstick. Sirius clutched it and made his way into the pitch to wait for the rest of his friends.

James turned back to the shed, took out a broom and placed it on the snow, saying that it belonged to him. He then removed two more and held them out to Peter and Remus, who did not take them.

"I'm sorry, were you mistaking us for people who can actually _fly_?" Remus questioned in astonishment. James was very well aware of the fact that neither Remus nor Peter fancied flying, nor were they talented at it.

"Oh, come on," James moaned. "Sirius and I aren't going to make fun of you."

"In front of our faces," Peter muttered under his breath.

"Oh, yes, because Sirius and I frequently talk about you behind your backs," James scoffed sardonically. "If you haven't noticed, we never get the chance to do that because you're always around." He rolled his eyes, frustrated. "When have we ever done that?"

Peter narrowed his eyes. "I'm not _always_ around."

James opened his mouth, no doubt ready to say that Peter _was_, indeed, always around, but was distracted by a snowball connecting with the back of his head and Sirius's cry for them to hurry up. James pushed the broomsticks into Peter and Remus's hands, yanked up his own, and dashed over to where Sirius was hovering about five feet in the air, impatience etched across his face. James hopped onto his broomstick and kicked off the ground until he was hovering five feet in the air, level with Sirius. He raised an eyebrow at Remus and Peter, who still stood resolutely on the ground.

Remus rolled his eyes at the absurdity of the whole thing. James was never going to rest until they were in the air, so they might as well get it over with. Slowly, taking as much time as he possibly could, he mounted the broom. He blocked out James and Sirius when they began whooping in triumph, and lightly kicked off the ground. Peter remained on the ground; there was no way they were going to get _him_ in the air. If Remus wanted to humiliate himself when he fell, that was not Peter's problem. He let the broomstick James had shoved at him fall to the ground.

"This isn't so bad, right, Remus?" James called to his friend, who was hovering in the same spot, unable to move farther.

"If I don't fall, it'll be the most fun I've ever had on a broom," Remus called back shakily, as his broom dipped slightly.

"Grip it tightly," Sirius advised, flying over to help. "If you hold it too loosely, you're _going_ to fall." Remus hastily did as Sirius instructed, his hands gripping the handle so tightly that his knuckles turned white. "Now to get Peter up here."

"Good luck with that," Peter shouted, sitting down on the cold, melting snow.

Sirius cast a look towards James, who grinned back mischievously, knowing exactly what Sirius was thinking. They were going to get that boy in the air whether he liked it or not. James caught up with Sirius and they flew side by side downwards to where Peter was sitting, his back facing them. Sirius went to Peter's left and James to the right. The space between Peter's arms and his torso was wide enough for the boys to slip their arms through and try to lift Peter into the air with them.

This plan, however, was better in theory than in actual execution. For one, Peter had planted himself rather firmly on the ground and had the resilience to stay there. Another, he was not the easiest person to lift. James and Sirius tugged under their friend's arms, but he simply sat there, laughing loudly. Instead of pulling Peter into the air, they only succeeded in sailing, headfirst, into the snow. The two lay there for a moment, their mouths filled with the freezing snow, listening to Remus and Peter's shouts of laughter. James turned to look at Sirius, and winked.

Instantly, James had leapt to his feet and flung a snowball at Peter. Peter, completely unsuspecting, took the snowball in the face. This only caused Remus, who was still hovering in the air, to laugh louder.

"I don't know what _you_ think is so funny, Lupin," Sirius called, his back facing his friend as he balled up some snow. Before Remus could react, he took a snowball to the ear.

"Excellent aim, Black!" he yelled through his laughs, slowly bringing the broomstick to the ground. He did not trust himself to be flying when his friends were chucking snowballs in every direction. The odds were that he would not remain in the air for long. He was not laughing for long, however, and was met with a snowball mixed with a rather large chunk of ice that connected painfully with his nose. Remus dropped the broomstick to the ground and his hand went straight to his face. "You bloody _git_," he snarled. "That had ice in it."

"I didn't plan it that way!" Sirius quickly defended. He really hadn't planned on this; it was just a bad coincidence. Feeling guilty, he went over to Remus to see the damage he had inflicted. But, just as he got close enough to see what was wrong, Remus's foot shot out, kicking Sirius in the shins. "Merlin!" Sirius gripped his shin and hopped up and down, his eyes shut in pain.

"That's what you get!"

James folded his arms across his chest and shook his head seriously at Peter. "It wouldn't surprise me if these two murder each other someday."

Peter couldn't help but agree. "They'll probably finish each other off at the same time."

"Seriously, Remus, let me see what I did." Sirius was standing a few feet away from his friend, just in case he got any more clever ideas. Remus let his hand drop from his face and Sirius saw it was steadily turning purple. "Well, at least you have ice for the bruise." He smiled cheerfully, dropped the ball of ice into Remus's hand, and patted him on the head.

"If _you_ need ice for the bruise _you're_ going to have on your shin, I'll be happy to supply you with some." Remus snatched up a handful of snow, put one hand on the back of Sirius's head and used the other to press the snow into Sirius's face. Sirius yelled something indistinguishable and ducked down to grab an armful of snow, ready to dump it unceremoniously on Remus's head when the opportunity presented itself. Amidst the shouts of the two boys, James and Peter watched interestedly.

"Yeah," Peter said exasperatedly to James. "They're _definitely_ going to kill each other someday."

"We should bet on how."

"I bet you three Galleons and a whole pack of Chocolate Frogs that Sirius pushes Remus over a cliff."

"Well, I bet you double that Remus uses that cricket bat his mum has and let's Sirius's head get better acquainted with it."

Peter laughed. "One of us should really write this down; we don't want to forget about it when it happens."

James chuckled. "I'll run and get my quill and parchment right now."

The shouting of Remus and Sirius suddenly stopped. Sirius huffed and turned to Remus. "They think we're a form of gambling!" he said, outraged.

Remus looked equally outraged, though the corners of his mouth were twitching upward. "And they're betting on which one of us is going to kill the other first. How lovely."

"Well, personally, I think you wouldn't stand a chance against me."

Remus quirked an eyebrow up. "Excuse me? You were cowering like a baby when I pulled out that cricket bat at my house."

"You wouldn't have had that if it wasn't for your mum."

"I could have found something that would have done equal damage to that thick skull of yours."

Peter grinned broadly. "Look what we've started, James."

"Another brilliant show, Pete."

"They should really be paid for what they do. It's _that_ good."

The arguement that was ready to commence between Sirius and Remus stopped once more. "Did you hear that, Remus?"

"I did, Sirius."

"Peter said we should be paid for our wonderful entertainment."

"I think we should be." Remus and Sirius wheeled around on James and Peter and the smiles instantly vanished from their faces. "Pay up."

James took a step back. "Are you serious?"

"I'm _always_ serious when it comes to money, James."

James gaped from Remus, to Sirius and, finally, to Peter. Remus held out a hand and looked at James impatiently. Unable to believe that he was actually going to do this, James stuck his hand inside his pocket and pulled out two Galleons – one for Remus and one for Sirius. He held out the first to Remus, who did not take it, but chortled loudly. James groaned, rolling his eyes. "_Now_ what?"

"Did you honestly think I was going to take your money?" Remus asked incredulously.

"You seemed pretty set on it."

"I just wanted to see if you'd actually do it."

"Oh," James said swiftly. "In that case, I'd like a Galleon."

"What?"

"An eye for an eye, a Galleon for a Galleon."

"I believe that's for revenge."

"What do you think _this_ is?"

Remus groaned and fished through the pockets of his robes for a Galleon to keep James quiet. When he finally produced one, James chuckled. "I just wanted to see if _you'd_ actually do it."

"Git."

* * *

The fourth year boys' dormitory in Gryffindor Tower was particularly loud on Christmas night. This could be attributed to the fact that James had presented Sirius with two-way mirrors that allowed them to speak to each other when they were separated, usually in detention. They were walking around the room, speaking the other's name into the glass, cheering happily when the other's face replaced their own. Remus and Peter sat on Remus's bed, watching the spectacle with mildly confused expressions on their faces. They didn't understand why James and Sirius couldn't just talk to one another without the mirrors. If they really wanted to test them out, one of them should have at least left the room.

As James and Sirius continued to test out the mirrors, Remus and Peter settled for trading the Chocolate Frog cards Peter had found under his bed. He had lost them in second year and found them hiding under a loose floorboard. This Christmas was very unlike the ones from the previous years. For one, this was the first time they had spent the holiday together in the castle. Another was that there was no news of Muggle attacks like last year. Yes, this Christmas was the easily preferable one.

"Sirius Black," James said clearly into the mirror, his breath fogging the glass. Slowly, James's face disappeared and was replaced with that of his best friend.

"You know, guys, I think they work," Peter said, turning over a card of Morgana so he could read the back.

"You can never be too careful, Petey," Sirius said, finally setting the mirror down on his bed.

Peter grimaced. "Don't call me that."

"Why not? I think it's adorable!"

"Don't ever say the word _adorable_ again."

"Point taken."

James and Sirius, at long last, put away their mirrors and joined Remus and Peter as they broke into Remus's large box of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans that his parents had sent him, along with a dark green jumper embroidered with a Chinese Fireball. James was convinced that if you took a handful of beans at once, you wouldn't be able to taste the disgusting flavours. Sirius challenged him, naturally, betting five Galleons that it would be just as disgusting. James took this wager, shaking on it with Sirius, and scooped up a considerable amount of the colourful beans. Looking determinedly at his opponent, he grinned and dumped them into his mouth.

Sirius was right. It took James a moment to register the actual taste, but when he did, he spat them onto the floor. He was convinced that there were boogey, vomit, and dirt flavoured beans in there. He mumbled mutinously as he paid Sirius and shoved the box back to its owner. Remus took the box back, carefully selecting what turned out to be a cherry flavoured bean. He, Sirius and Peter laughed as James sped from the room, his destination most likely being the kitchens.

"He should've listened to me," Sirius chided, shaking his head and grinning largely.

"That was an easy five Galleons," Remus commented, picking his way through the box.

"And, for which, my friend, you can have two of them." Sirius ceremoniously dropped two of the Galleons into the Bertie Botts box.

Remus looked at the pieces of gold in amazement. "Feeling generous, are we?"

"Well, you _are_ my fellow entertainer according to _him_," he jerked his head at Peter, "and Mr. I'm Going to Make Myself Puke with Jellybeans."

James returned moments later, clutching four bottles of Pumpkin Juice. His bottle was already half gone, a surprise to nobody. He chucked the remaining three at his friends and joined them, sitting on Remus's bed. They uncorked their bottles and drank.

"You know," James said, lowering his bottle thoughtfully. "This year has been one of the tougher ones, I think." He didn't have to say what he was talking about and no one else was going to mention it. The last thing they wanted to talk about on Christmas was Fenrir Greyback and what Remus was in for. "But it's almost half over," he added optimistically.

"Yeah, and we'll be fifth years soon," Remus added, marveling at the thought of their education at Hogwarts being half over come the summer.

"With the dreaded O.W.L. exams," Sirius groaned, shuddering.

"Yeah, but after that I can drop Divination!" Peter cheered happily, punching a fist in the air.

"We told you not to take that class, Pete."

"Next time I'll take your advice."

"Anyway," James went on. "How has it taken us four years before we all spent the holiday here?"

"Let's see…" Sirius began ticking the occurrences off his fingers. "First year, we all went home. Second year, you were going to France and Peter was going to Belgium. Third year, he went home. Fourth year, we all had nothing to do."

James rolled his eyes. "I didn't ask you to name _everything_."

"But you said-"

Remus quickly cut in. "Make your point, please, James."

"The point _is_ that the four of us are best friends and, therefore, should have spent the holidays together years ago." He raised his bottle in the air.

Sirius, Remus and Peter followed the suit. "Hear, hear!"

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Forty One: The Intruder**_

Remus finally turned so he was facing Sirius and Sirius saw there was just a helpless look in his friend's eyes, one that he tried vainly to mask. "That's just it, Sirius," he said, casting his eyes downward again. "I don't know what's going to happen." He bit his lip and returned his attention to his friend. "There are so many things he could do; he doesn't want me to be a wizard."

"But what does it matter what he thinks?" Sirius questioned fiercely, throwing his hands up in the air. "He's not the one who decides your future. He has no say in whether or not you become a qualified wizard."


	41. The Intruder

Chapter Forty One  
The Intruder

The Gryffindor fourth years were not happy. They were enraged, disgusted, utterly peeved. Due to the _brilliance_ of the Slytherin fourth years and a vat of Shrinking Solution, the Gryffindors found themselves serving a group detention with an equally enraged Professor Twikom. The professor had been on edge all year; it was obvious even to those who didn't know the reason why. The Slytherins knew better than to do something ridiculous, such as shrinking every piece of furniture in the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, yet this did not stop them from doing so. It was a plus when the entire group of Gryffindors fourth years got blamed for it. The fourth years were now sitting in the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, growing the furniture back to its original size, a task that was taking ages. Seven fourteen year old wizards could only do so much.

The seven Gryffindors were dispersed about the room, crawling on their hands and knees, careful not to accidentally tread on any of the desks. Their faces were pressed close to the floor, one eye open to spot the tiny chairs and tables. It was only when Peter accidentally squashed three of the chairs with his knee that they all snapped. They wanted revenge, sweet, _sweet_ revenge. Why was it that the Slytherins could get away with framing them for shrinking an entire classroom? Why couldn't the Gryffindors do something that would incriminate their rivals? The Gryffindors hadn't banded together on a prank in years. The last time had been their memorable attack on Professor Crane. It was the only time they were completely united. They wanted that sense of unity once more, and what better way to do that with a plan of vengeance?

The plan was simple. They had Lily Evans, the top potion brewer of the Gryffindor house, and, because of Remus's abysmal performances in Professor Slughorn's class, they also had complete access to the storage room in the dungeons. During one of Remus's tutoring sessions with Lily, they snuck out everything they needed to concoct a potion to make everything in the Defence Against the Dark Arts room double in size. Lily brewed the potion and the others planted it in the room when the Slytherins had their class. It didn't seem fair to plant it in Professor Twikom's room twice, but it would hopefully prove that the Gryffindors had not been responsible for the first catastrophe. They were only responsible for the second.

They were successful and the Slytherin fourth years were sentenced to three weeks of detention – starting with resizing the furniture and ending with giving the room a good cleaning, Muggle style. The Gryffindor fourth years walked proudly by Twikom's classroom, laughing loudly and obnoxiously, waving merrily at the Slytherins as they fulfiled their sentence. Of course, this could have been the start of a war between the Gryffindor and Slytherin fourth years, had their plans not been thwarted by Professor McGonagall, who had caught wind of what was going on. She knew it was far too coincidental that two relatively similar pranks had occurred within days of each other and threatened the suspected culprits with detention for the next two years. They knew she would do it and so refrained from a war of any sort.

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter had more important things to worry about than a prank war, anyway. As the year progressed, they noticed that there was a lack of mysterious disruptions, but this did not set them at ease. If anything, it increased their apprehension. It was only too typical when the villain disappeared for a while, all traces of his presence disappearing as well. It would make the would-be victims complacent; it would allow them to think that the danger had finally passed. This method was certainly working for Professor Twikom. She did not seem on edge at every moment, as she had been when the fourth years were serving their detention. She must have assumed her relative had given up with his plan.

If only this were true. The boys knew that nothing of the sort had happened. The break-in on Halloween had not left their minds. The confrontation Remus and Peter had witnessed that night at the beginning of the school year had not vanished from their thoughts. They knew that the professors would not tell the students if Dumbledore's office had been broken into, but the boys couldn't erase it from their minds that it had possibly happened. If it had, Greyback had the name of the werewolf who was trying to _pose_ as a wizard. What worried them was why nothing had happened yet. Why had Remus not been followed during a full moon? He wasn't complaining that he hadn't, but this did nothing to lift the weight that had made itself at home in his stomach. Greyback had the information he needed. Why hadn't he used it?

They could only attribute this to the fact that Greyback did not know where Remus went every full moon. The secret of the Shrieking Shack was still safe, for the time being. But how long would it take before Greyback made the connection between the monthly howls of pain and the full moons? They were not entirely sure of his intelligence, but he must have had _some_ brains. He managed to contaminate almost all of his targets; this had to take some amount of intellect. It couldn't be long before he realised that it was Remus who was the source of the supposed haunting in the building on the outskirts of Hogsmeade.

Indeed, their luck lasted well into the spring months. There had been no more odd activities around the castle, save for a few rocks that had taken to walking down the corridors and shouting profanities during the lessons, but that had been taken care of. No, it was almost as if there had been no intrusion at all on the hallowed grounds of Hogwarts. The students no longer spoke in fearful whispers about who it might have been who had penetrated the walls on Halloween. In fact, some students seemed to find it a rather nice joke, a Halloween prank that had no potentially lethal ramifications.

"Hand me that quill, will you, James?" Sirius asked one night as they sat in the library, poring over their notes. They had been possessed to study early for the impending end-of-the-year exams. The earlier they studied, the more time they would have for more enjoyable tasks, such as working on their Animagus potion. Besides, they knew that next year would be impossible for their usual last minute studying, not with the O.W.L. exams. They had to start practising proper studying methods, as much as they loathed doing so.

James handed Sirius the quill he had pointed out and jabbed his index finger at one of the sentences in his potions textbook. "Antidotes, that's all that's going to be on the exam, right?"

"And poisons," Remus added, scratching his chin with the tip of his quill, blotting his skin with black ink. He was looking rather pale and peaky; the full moon was only a week away.

James drew two columns down the length of his parchment – one for facts about antidotes and the other for facts about poisons. During his third year, James had read the entire textbook two times and had been close to collapsing with the useless information that it provided. There were pages and pages of sentences that were entirely irrelevant to what Slughorn put on his tests. This year, he was going to look through the textbook once and jot down only the truly important facts. The only hard task was finding the relevant information.

"So, in the event that someone decides to poison me, I could whip these potions up within the time it takes before I die?"

Sirius shrugged, his eyes focused on his Transfiguration textbook. "I suppose."

"Always good to know." James scrawled something down in the poisons column and continued to flip through the book. "How's that History of Magic coming along, Peter?"

Peter was scanning anxiously through his History of Magic textbook, trying to copy down all the names of the historical figures they were required to remember. They were absurd names, really, names like Ulric the Ugly. What was so magnificent about these people? What was the point of taking History of Magic in the first place? Peter was in a bad mood. He had spent the entire night working on his dream journal for Divination, making up dreams that would suffice the teacher's craving for all things gloomy. In one of his invented dreams he had been devoured by a manticore, the only trace of his disappearance being a lone finger. "It's _not_ coming along," he spat, violently ripping the page as he went to turn it. He swore loudly, earning a reprimand from the librarian.

Sirius sighed and looked at Peter sympathetically. "I told you once and I'll tell you again-"

"Do _not_ say I shouldn't have taken Divination."

"Okay, I won't." Sirius returned to his homework. "I _will_, however, say that there was a myriad of other electives for you to take."

James glanced up at Sirius, astonishment spelled out on his face. "When did _you_ learn the word _myriad_?"

"I know how to use a dictionary, mate." James opened his mouth, no doubt to ask how Sirius knew what a dictionary was, but decided against it. The librarian was already glaring daggers at them, best not to infuriate her any further. Not when exams were looming ever nearer and they actually _needed_ to use the library. They'd irritate her once the exams had passed. Instead, he continued working on his chart for Slughorn's class; it wasn't fun at all, but since when were exams ever fun?

The full moon for May landed on the twenty fifth. Remus sincerely hoped it would be better than the previous two. The full moon in March had been on the twenty seventh, James's fifteenth birthday. Remus detested that he couldn't spend the day with his friend, though he made it up by getting James an autographed photo of the Puddlemere United team, something James had framed and hung with care above his bed. Though, Remus had to admit, he was grateful that the March full moon had not been on his own birthday. Last year had been the closest in years. The moon had never fallen on his birthday; he had narrowly missed it the year he was bitten. He only missed it because he was bitten in April.

Remus supposed that the fact that he missed celebrating his friend's birthday was the reason he spent the next three days in the Hospital Wing under the close surveillance of Madam Pomfrey, who feared if he closed his eyes for too long, it would be even longer before they opened again. The wolf must have been having a wonderful time, taunting its host, mocking him because he had to be locked up in the Shrieking Shack while his friends were having a good time. Remus had fought, and lost. It never surprised him anymore, when his transformations were so violent. He had given Lily the reason for this once - he was getting older. There was only so much a fifteen year old boy could handle, and morphing into a full-grown wolf twelve times a year was not usually in the job description.

There was still the looming threat of Fenrir Greyback. Nothing had happened, yet Remus was certain something would. He just didn't know when. Would Greyback choose the summer and try to sniff Remus out? The Lupins had moved once Remus was bitten as a child, to throw the attacker off their track. Besides, they could not live in a city like London with a werewolf for a son. Because of this, Greyback no longer knew where his victim resided. So that left Hogwarts, didn't it? But it had been so long ago that the threat had seemed real. It sometimes felt like a thing of the past, that Greyback wasn't going to come, wasn't going to live up to his word to make whoever the werewolf was that was pretending to be a wizard pay.

Maybe the danger had finally passed. Maybe there was nothing to worry about. Maybe Greyback wasn't coming for Remus after all.

* * *

"What're you reading?"

"A book."

"_Obviously_. It's not one of those weird Muggle books again, is it?"

"They're not _weird_, Sirius, and so what if it is?"

"Let me see what it is!" Sirius ripped the hardcover book out of Remus's slackened grip and turned it over so he could see the title. He frowned. "The Crucible. What in Merlin's name is this supposed to be about?"

"It's a play about the Salem Witch Trials," Remus replied calmly, not bothering to get up and snatch the book back. All he could think of was lying on his comfortable bed and he knew Sirius would give it back eventually. Once he'd had a good, long look at it.

Sirius looked blankly at his friend. "And what's _that_ supposed to be?"

Remus sighed in exasperation. "When they thought there were witches in Salem, Massachusetts."

"Fascinating." Sirius dropped the book on Remus's head, watching as it slid to the floor. "Oops," Sirius said, laughing. He stooped down to pick it up and placed it in Remus's outstretched hand. Remus flipped to the page he was on and marked it with one of his quills. "So," Sirius went on, sitting down on his own bed, pulling his knees up to his chest. "Full moon's soon."

Remus nodded, staring at the blue back cover of his book with unmoving eyes. He had been reading to keep his mind off that very fact. Never before had he been so keen to not think about the impending rising moon. Naturally, he dreaded this time of the month, but never as much as he did at the present. There was just the nagging thought in the back of his mind that something wasn't right. The atmosphere of the castle seemed ominous to him and he didn't know why. He hadn't heard anything about Greyback in ages, but he wasn't about to be lulled into complacency like his professor. No, something wasn't right and he had a feeling that this month he was going to find out what.

"You know, we're really close to getting this Animagus thing." For once, Remus knew that Sirius was being truthful. James and Sirius were almost finished concocting the potion. They were lucky that it took the length of the summer for it to simmer to completion. They could hide it in the Room of Requirement for the duration. Once they drank it, all they had to do was morph into their animals and morph back into their human forms. The latter was the difficult part of the task. "This time next year we'll probably be going with you to the Shrieking Shack."

Remus smiled lightly at the thought. His transformations would still be terrible, there was nothing that could alter that, but between the moon rising and the moon setting, there was hope. He wouldn't be biting and scratching himself, mangling himself in ways he didn't know possible. His friends would be there to keep his mind off it. He wasn't sure how that was going to work, exactly, but he knew it was going to happen.

Sirius exhaled loudly and dropped one of his legs to the floor and pulled his other knee up to his chest, resting his chin on his kneecap. "What's up, Remus?"

Remus jerked his head up in surprise. "What?"

"You're someplace else."

"No… I'm pretty sure I'm right here."

"Well, _you_ may be, but your _brain_ isn't." Sirius, James and Peter had talked about it in private. Remus was constantly thinking about Greyback. It was obvious by the faraway look in his eyes. He tried not to, they knew this, but he failed. But whenever it appeared as if he was drifting away from the conversation, they knew where his thoughts were headed. Sirius decided it was time they stopped ignoring it and got some definitive answers. "What do you think is going to happen?"

Remus finally turned so he was facing Sirius and Sirius saw there was just a helpless look in his friend's eyes, one that he tried vainly to mask. "That's just it, Sirius," he said, casting his eyes downward again. "I don't know _what's_ going to happen." He bit his lip and returned his attention to his friend. "There are so many things he could do; he doesn't want me to be a wizard."

"But what does it matter what he thinks?" Sirius questioned fiercely, throwing his hands up in the air. "_He's_ not the one who decides your future. He has no say in whether or not you become a qualified wizard."

"He's trying to keep me from getting that and he's not going to stop until I'm convinced that I _shouldn't_ be a wizard."

"But you _should_ be! He doesn't have any right to tell you that you shouldn't be." It was important to Sirius that his friend knew this. Sirius had been taught many things by the lovely hypocrites that he loosely called parents; one of them was that people should be put in their place. Naturally, Sirius chose to go the opposite path and decided to believe that no one should be put in their alleged place if it wasn't where they belonged. Sirius didn't believe in his parents' credo. He wasn't about to allow one of his best friend's to believe in it either.

"Tell that to Fenrir Greyback," Remus said bitterly, spitting out his enemy's name with a malice Sirius had never before witnessed. "He doesn't believe that I should be."

"You shouldn't care what he thinks. I know you're scared, and you have every right to be, but don't believe that you shouldn't be a wizard. You're brilliant with magic." He chanced laughing. "Who else could have gotten all those pranks to go off like that during first year in Crane's classroom?"

Remus allowed himself a small smile as he thought of their renowned prank. "That wasn't so hard."

Glad that he had at last gotten somewhere, Sirius went on. "Being modest, are we? What about getting your Patronus before any of us _and_ on your first try?"

"Okay, you've made your point."

Sirius snickered. "Did I mention girls love piano-playing, singing werewolves?"

"Yes, I believe you have."

"Well, they do." Sirius chuckled. "Come on, we're meeting Peter to watch James's Quidditch practise."

"Oh, yeah," Remus suddenly remembered. "Isn't this their last practise before the Quidditch Final?"

Sirius nodded eagerly. "Yeah, which means Biggs is going to be mental. That's got to be fun to watch."

The two hurried down to the common room to meet Peter, who was working on his Divination assignment with a rather disgruntled look on his face. The three headed down to the Quidditch pitch, where it was almost certain Lawrence Biggs was going to be shouting himself hoarse with the drive to win the Quidditch Cup from Slytherin. It was good to go outside. It gave them a chance to catch some fresh air and a chance to not think about what Fenrir Greyback had up his sleeve.

* * *

May twenty fifth dawned quite early with Sirius jumping out of his bed, shouting that a giant was threatening to step on his face. He refused to believe that it wasn't going to happen until Remus, groggy and sick and annoyed at being woken up before he would have liked, threw a glass of cold water in his face. With his four roommates furious with him, Sirius was shunned to his four-poster bed while the others got ready for the day. Thankfully, it was a Sunday and they had no class that day. Sirius pouted loudly from behind the curtains, which James had pulled around and hexed them to stick to the wall until he decided to free them. It was only when Peter and Frank threatened to put a Silencing Charm on him that Sirius stopped speaking.

Breakfast that morning was also terribly loud as a flock of two hundred owls came down through the rafters, seven of them bearing long, thin packages. Every student watched keenly, wondering where these owls were headed. It was clear from the shape of the packages that they were brand new broomsticks, but who would they be for? When the seven owls bypassed the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables, they knew that the brooms were not for those teams. All heads turned towards the Gryffindor table but, sadly, the owls were not destined for this Quidditch team either.

No, the brooms were for the Slytherin Quidditch team. The seven team members looked smug as the packages were set before them, knocking over several pitchers of pumpkin juice and bowls of cereal. Regulus was the first to unwrap his broomstick, which turned out to be the latest model of the Silver Arrow edition. He held it up for his fellow Slytherins to see. When he caught the eye of his brother, who was glaring at the brooms in disbelief, he smirked. "A gift from my _father_, for the entire team."

"Oh," Sirius said, just as loudly, his voice hot with fury. "So you _did_ get on the team by bribery?"

Regulus scoffed dismissively. "In case you haven't noticed, Sirius, I've been on the team for almost two years."

"So you must have done some _serious_ shoe licking last year." Sirius, however, did not hear the answer that Regulus had, because James chose this moment to tap his best friend on the shoulder.

"Look at Dumbledore," he hissed, pointing at the Staff Table. Dumbledore was looking unusually grave. He was speaking with Professor McGonagall, his lips moving in such a way that they could not even lip read the conversation. Instinctively, James, Sirius and Peter looked at Remus, who could do nothing except shrug hopelessly. They did not necessarily know that the Headmaster's severe expression was caused by the threat Greyback. The rest of the Great Hall was far too enamored by the arrival of the Slytherin Quidditch teams' new brooms to register what the Headmaster and Deputy Headmistress could be speaking about.

For the remainder of the day, Dumbledore's expression weighed on the minds of the four boys. What had he learned the made him appear the way he had? They had scanned the day's copy of the _Daily Prophet_ and discovered there was no news that could have inspired it. In fact, all of the news in the _Prophet_ was positively good news. There was a once in a lifetime sale at Madam Malkin's in which all robes were ninety percent off. The Chuddley Cannons actually _won_ a game, and the Leaky Cauldron was going under renovations, adding more tables and barstools to allow for more customers. There was nothing dreadful about any of it, unless Dumbledore was upset that the Cannons' losing streak was finally over? No, he had learned something that the students were not supposed to know, but may very well have involved one of them.

That night, Madam Pomfrey escorted Remus down to the Whomping Willow as she had done every month for almost five years. The night was still, the trees did not rustle and the animals seemed as though a Silencing Charm had been placed upon them. The sky was pitch-black, yet no stars were visible. The nurse grabbed the long stick that lay inconspicuously at the trunk of the dangerous tree and prodded the hidden knot. The branches froze and took on a calm, docile appearance, as though they would never dream of hurting somebody. Madam Pomfrey retrieved the Invisibility Cloak from her charge and wished Remus good luck as he descended through the hidden passageway.

The moment he entered the Shrieking Shack, Remus knew something was wrong. The tables were misplaced, the chairs in a different position then he remembered. Someone, usually one of the professors, came and cleaned up the damage he inflicted after each transformation and always in the same fashion. Remus knew exactly where the tables and chairs should have been, and they were not there. Along with this, they were not whole. The chairs and tables should not have had large chunks broken off. Who had done this? He felt the familiar jolt in his stomach as it flipped over and over repeatedly. He knew he had to hurry upstairs; he could not linger in the downstairs. But his legs did not want to leave this spot, they were shrieking for him to run. He slowly climbed the creaking stairs, but when he reached the landing, he wished he had stayed downstairs. Downstairs was safe. If he had stayed downstairs, he would not have to endure the hell that was about to occur.

He was greeted with a hoarse, growling, disgustingly satisfied voice, the voice he had been dreading ever since he heard it that night in the Defence Against the Dark Arts corridor, the night he and Peter had flattened themselves against the wall and listened in terror. It was the voice that came to Remus in his dreams sometimes. It was the voice of the beast that had forever altered his life. He had come to do it again. "Hullo, Lupin. I was wondering when I'd see you again."

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Forty Two: Say Something**_

"I see your five Chocolate Frogs and raise you three Dungbombs."

"I see your Dungbombs and raise you fifteen Bertie Botts beans."

"I fold."

"Peter," James said, glancing over at Peter's hand of cards. "Why would you fold? You could have beaten us both with the hand you have."

Peter groaned and threw his cards down, a Royal Flush. "I always forget how to play this stupid game."

"Patil didn't teach us to play this very well," Sirius lamented, shaking his head and setting his cards down for the others to see.

"How does he even know how to play this?" James wondered throwing his cards down as well and scooping up the prize in the middle. "This is a Muggle game, he's not a Muggle."


	42. Say Something

Chapter Forty Two

Chapter Forty Two  
Say Something

"I see your five Chocolate Frogs and raise you three Dungbombs."

"I see your Dungbombs and raise you fifteen Bertie Botts beans."

"I fold."

"Peter," James said, glancing over at Peter's hand of cards. "Why would you fold? You could have beaten us both with the hand you have."

Peter groaned and threw his cards down, a Royal Flush. "I always forget how to play this stupid game."

"Patil didn't teach us to play this very well," Sirius lamented, shaking his head and setting his cards down for the others to see.

"How does _he_ even know how to play this?" James wondered throwing his cards down as well and scooping up the prize in the middle. "This is a _Muggle_ game, he's not a Muggle."

"We know _he's _not, James. His _mum's_ a Muggle."

"That would explain it…" James ripped open a pack of Chocolate Frogs with his teeth and handed it to disgruntled Peter. "You would've won."

"Thanks," Peter muttered, biting the frog's head off with unnecessary viciousness. His eyes scanned the Great Hall, which was full for lunch and his eyes caught sight of Madam Pomfrey hurrying between the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables, making a beeline straight for the Staff Table. It was not only Peter who was watching this spectacle with interest, every person who could see the nurse was watching her with curious looks etched into their faces. Peter caught his friends' eyes and jerked his head towards Madam Pomfrey. This was not good. Only one patient of hers could have instilled such a look into her – the look of utter panic.

"Let's go," James barked instantly, jumping up, almost tripping over the bench in his hurry. The three boys tried to remain casual as they strolled out of the Great Hall, feigning a fascinating conversation about the dung beetles in Egypt, though none of them knew exactly what was so interesting about them. They lurked in the Entrance Hall, waiting for Sirius to redo his shoelace, still chatting pointlessly about the beetles of the Egyptian desert as if they actually knew something about the creatures. Once they saw Madam Pomfrey dash by with Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall in her wake, they began their ascent to the Hospital Wing. What had gone wrong?

The boys were not going to fool themselves into thinking that they would be allowed inside the infirmary today. They would as soon be allowed to do cartwheels on the moving staircases at midnight. Instead, they hovered down at the end of the corridor, wishing they had something to improve their hearing so they could hear what Dumbledore was saying. Madam Pomfrey was so hysterical that her voice carried the distance, but Dumbledore was speaking so low, they wondered if he was speaking at all. Something had gone horribly wrong the night before; this was what they gathered from the nurse. This was no help, they knew that much already. What they wanted to know was _what_ happened.

Someone had intruded in the Shrieking Shack the night before… Someone had gotten through Dumbledore's enchantments, or had found the passageway under the Whomping Willow, which meant someone had broken into the grounds. Either way, someone knew where Remus was and what he was doing. The boys couldn't take it, standing there and not being able to see their friend. Throwing caution to the winds, they marched to the Hospital Wing door and peered through the crack. Remus was lying in a bed directly across from the door, but his body was obscured by the bodies of the three adults gathered around him. McGonagall's face had gone ghastly pale, the light in Dumbledore's eyes had completely gone out and the nurse's hands were wringing helplessly.

"This wasn't an accident," the nurse hissed angrily to Dumbledore, her eyes wide. The boys had never heard such a voice from the nurse unless she was shooing misbehaving students out of the ward. Dumbledore whispered something in response to this statement; something the boys were fairly certain was that he already knew this. "But why would he want to hurt Remus?"

James, Sirius and Peter looked quickly at each other, their eyes widened. So the nurse and the professors _knew_ who the culprit was? How had they figured it out? Without the evidence that the boys had, it could very well have been anyone who loathed werewolves. It was difficult to even assume that this was the handiwork of a werewolf. Then again, who else would actually attack of werewolf on the night of a full moon without the fear of becoming one himself? It was then that the boys realised Dumbledore knew everything behind Remus's lycanthropy, including who had bitten him as a child. He had to; it must have been one of the conditions when he admitted Remus to Hogwarts. Of _course_ he would know who had bitten him.

"Albus, what are we going to do about this?" Professor McGonagall asked in a voice that the boys only just heard. The usual sharpness in the Transfiguration professor's voice was replaced with shock and distress.

Dumbledore's voice was firm, decided. He knew what he had to do to remedy this. "I will take care of it, Minerva. This will never again happen to one of my students. You have my word."

The boys had no time to run before the door to the Hospital Wing opened and they were met with the Headmaster. Now that they saw up close, his face was nearly as white as Remus's was when the full moon was rising. His mouth was set in a determined line; he was going to stop this no matter what he had to do. He did not have to ask what the boys were doing in this corridor instead of class. The boys had no concept of time at the moment and did not know that they were due in History of Magic. Besides, they doubted Professor Binns would notice their absence. "I think you three should go to class now," he told them softly, his eyes hard with fury that was not reflected at the young boys.

"We want to see Remus," James spoke up heatedly, though he knew his request would not be heeded.

Dumbledore shook his head sadly. "I am afraid that is not possible at the time."

Sirius didn't like how Dumbledore said this. The way the words came out, it sounded as though the worst had happened… "Is he going to be okay?"

Dumbledore studied the three faces of the boys with a look of mingled pride and concern. He was proud that his students had such bonds of friendship and concerned for the very same fact. The only answer he could give Sirius was, "All physical wounds heal eventually. You may see him tonight and _only_ if Madam Pomfrey allows you. It is best you do not pressure her at this time." With that, he swept away to a destination unknown to the boys.

Madam Pomfrey, however, refused to allow anyone who wasn't bleeding at the head into the Hospital Wing that day, and for the remainder of the week. During this time, Remus had not been released and James, Sirius and Peter had no knowledge of his condition or what had happened that night in the Shrieking Shack. Many times they had approached Professor McGonagall, in hopes that she would be able to tell them something enlightening, but she said nothing, though her eyes clearly revealed to them that she wanted to. This was something only Remus could tell them when he was ready. But how could he ever tell them if Madam Pomfrey kept him in the Hospital Wing? And, when he was finally released, _would _he be ready to tell them?

It was only on Friday evening when James, Sirius and Peter had returned from a walk around the lake that they saw the curtains drawn around Remus's bed. For the entire week they had been open, as there had been no occupant in need of them. So Madam Pomfrey had finally let him go. It took her long enough. They stepped lightly over the threshold, across the room, and Peter gently pulled the curtains around. Remus was lying on his side, arms folded across his chest, staring at the wall opposite him. He made no sign of recognition towards his friends.

The boys took in their friend's appearance and saw that it had been necessary for Madam Pomfrey to keep him the entire week. There was still no colour in his face, a disconcerting fact because usually within a day or two the little colour he had returned. Under both of his eyes were fading purple bruises. There were the traces of lacerations running down the length of each side of his face. They could also see similar bruises and lacerations slowly vanishing around his neck. They did not even begin to think of what else was there that was not visible to them.

"Are you okay, Remus?" James finally asked cautiously. It was a stupid question, they were aware of this, but it was the only one he could think of. Remus said nothing; he only continued gazing at the wall. "Do you want to talk about it?"

When Remus spoke, his voice was almost inaudible. His friends had to lean in slightly to make out the single word. "No."

James looked uneasily at Sirius and Peter, who were both biting their lips uncertainly. James and Peter then glanced pointedly at Sirius. Sirius had an uncanny ability to get Remus to admit things he normally would not want to talk about. They never knew how Sirius did this, exactly, but they needed him to do it now. This situation was different from the other times Sirius had persuaded him to speak, but he gave it a try, regardless. "What happened the other night?"

Remus shook his head, stopping quickly, his eyes scrunched in pain. His voice was pleading. "I said I don't want to talk about it."

They knew this was their chance to drop the subject, to let Remus talk to them about what happened when he was ready, but they continued to push him. "Was it Greyback?" James questioned guardedly. It was a ridiculous question; he knew this, but anything to get Remus to talk. Bottling up anger was the worst thing for him to do at this time. It would only come out at a later time, and more violently than if he had said it now.

Remus rolled his eyes at the absurdity of James's query. "What do _you_ think happened?" he snapped, bringing his hand up to his forehead. What a stupid question. Who _else_ could have been behind this? _No, a pixie did this to me_, Remus thought crossly, his eyes narrowing. He didn't want to be mad at his friends, but he could not keep his attitude in check, particularly when he didn't want to. He had every right to be mad. He hadn't asked to be turned into a werewolf; this was solely Greyback's decision. Remus did not ask for the monster to appear at his house that night, twelve years ago. He also hadn't asked to be accepted into Hogwarts, no matter how much he wished for it. This was Dumbledore's decision. The only thing Remus did was accept the offer.

"Remus," Sirius continued, his voice almost beseeching, "_What_ happened?" Sirius knew more than anyone else that keeping your anger bottled up only backfired in the end. This was something Remus had to get out now more than later.

"Merlin, are you three deaf?" Remus shouted, sitting up so fast he made himself dizzy. Closing his eyes, regaining his balance, he went on. "I said I don't want to talk about it. Why is that so hard for you to understand? Can't you just leave me alone?"

"Did you at least tell your parents?" Peter asked hopefully. If he had told his parents, at least he had told _someone_. The occurrences of the last full moon would not be entirely a mystery. His parents needed to know.

"Of course my parents know," Remus said, the volume of his voice lowering. "I couldn't hide this from them."

James's face was reproachful. "But you can hide it from _us_?"

"_I_ didn't tell them. McGonagall did. Did you honestly think McGonagall would let me go home looking like this and not have an explanation ready for my parents?" Remus fell back onto his pillow, facing away from his friends. "Look, can we just drop it for now?"

Sirius tried hard not to sound too expectant. "Does that mean you'll tell us eventually?"

Remus was careful not to give any indication of yes or no in his voice. "I don't know, Sirius." Though there was no sign of positivism or negativity in his voice, there was an air of finality that James, Sirius and Peter knew not to cross. Their friend was not willing to share what had happened to him and if they continued to force him, there was a chance that he never would tell them.

They pushed the limits all the time, but this time, they knew better than to cross it.

* * *

The four boys sat quietly in their usual compartment on the Hogwarts Express, the minutes ticking by dreadfully slow as the train progressed to Platform Nine and Three Quarters. Conversation was nonexistent, save for the several times Sirius asked James what time it was. Soon, James gave in and allowed Sirius to wear his watch for the duration of the ride, just to rid himself of the repetition. They were interrupted only by the appearance of the lunch trolley, but none of the boys was very hungry, and so the confused witch pushed the trolley right on away.

Eventually, Peter pulled out his Wizards Chess set and started a match with James, while Sirius softly refereed the match. The game was halfhearted and done only to distract themselves from the unnatural silence that had befallen them. There was nothing to talk about, and the only thing three of them wanted to talk about was off limits. Occasionally, they would throw glances at Remus, who stared determinedly out the window, thinking if they looked at him long enough, he would cave in and tell them what they wanted to know. They had no such luck.

"There goes your pawn, James," Sirius said, shaking his head as one of Peter's men crushed James's pawn to pieces.

"I hadn't noticed," James remarked sarcastically. "I must have left my eyes in my trunk. Thank you, Sirius." James scooped up the remnants and dropped them unceremoniously in the box. He sat back in his seat and turned to Peter. "I can't believe your parents are willing to put up with the four of us all summer." Earlier that week, Peter had received a letter from his parents allowing Peter to invite his friends over for the summer holiday.

"Yeah, I thought after they found out we drove Remus to pulling out a cricket bat on us, they'd have some reservations," Sirius scoffed.

Peter smiled at the memory, which was hilarious now that it was so far in the past. "As long as it's not aimed at _them_, they have no problem with it."

The sky outside had been overcast the entire morning. The clouds steadily grew darker with each second and had finally decided it was time to burst. Pellets of rain noisily bashed the windows of the compartment relentlessly, making it almost impossible to see outside. Remus, who had focused all of his energy on watching the countryside trail by, now had nothing to distract himself with. Instead, he turned his attention to the game between James and Peter.

This, however, did not last long.

"Victory!" James shouted, pumping his fists in the air. Peter, defeated, collected the broken pieces and replaced the box in his trunk. James, still basking in the glory of his defeat, turned to his best mate. "Hey, what time is it, Sirius?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Not time to arrive." He snapped the clasp on the watch and threw it at James, narrowly avoiding hitting him in the chin. "Happy Christmas." Sirius sighed and looked around the compartment. Never had it been so awkward between the four of them. Not since their second year when they had discovered Remus was a werewolf. Actually, it had not even been awkward then. That discovery had resulted in a standoff, a separation between the four. There had been no time for unease.

Peter cleared his throat hesitantly. "When is the… full moon… for July, Remus?" It had been agreed that for that night Remus would have to go home and come back when he was feeling better.

Remus shrugged. "At the end of the month." This was the first time in months he didn't have to worry about whether or not Greyback would be showing up. Dumbledore had taken care of everything to prevent another visit. The beast had not been arrested, but he had no memory of what his motives had been. The Shrieking Shack had also been given extra safety precautions. Dumbledore put up spells that only he could break. Remus didn't understand why Greyback wasn't arrested, and no one was willing to divulge the information. The adults could hardly use the excuse that he was too young to know. He was fifteen, he deserved to know why.

Sirius bit his lip. "You still don't want to tell us what happened?"

Remus shifted agitatedly in his seat, avoiding his friends' eyes. "What do _you_ think happened?"

"Greyback obviously hurt you," James supplied, choosing his words carefully. "It had to be more than that, though." It couldn't just be the physical wounds. The day after that full moon Dumbledore had told him that all physical wounds heal, it was the ones in Remus's head that may never do so.

"What did he _say_ to you?" Sirius pressed on.

Remus laughed hollowly. "Nothing I haven't heard before." It wasn't far from the truth. Greyback had said everything anyone who knew what Remus was said. The only difference was that with every word, Remus began to believe it. In the back of his mind, a voice told him it was all a lie – he deserved to be a wizard, he was not, as Greyback put it, a "freak of nature" and his only purpose in life was to keep others from having the same fate as him. Soon, the voice in the back of his mind gave in and allowed Remus to believe every word Greyback spoke. He did _not_ deserve to be a wizard, he _was_ a freak of nature and his purpose in life _was_ to condemn others to the hand in life he had been dealt.

James's voice was almost inaudible when he next spoke. "You know what he said isn't true."

Remus said nothing to this, but merely excused himself to use the bathroom. Anything to get away from the tide of questions that was, without a doubt, coming.

Once the compartment door was completely shut, James turned to Sirius and Peter. "This is bad."

"No, James, it's incredibly _good_," Sirius snarled, pressing his forehead against the cool glass of the window.

"Sirius," Peter hissed warningly. Now was not a time for him to develop an attitude when James began stating the obvious. "I don't see what we can possibly do. He's not going to talk and we can't make him."

James gritted his teeth, searching for any way they could do the exact opposite of what Peter was telling them. There had been a point in their friendship where they could tell each other anything; this point had long since disappeared. This was territory they were unfamiliar with. They only knew what happened the night Remus was bitten. They knew nothing of the years that followed, the years before they all met in the same compartment on their way to Hogwarts. They didn't know how he was treated. What could they do to get to the former point of their friendship where absolutely nothing was off limits?

"We've already proven to him we don't care what he is," James persisted fiercely.

"I don't think that's the problem, James," Sirius muttered, his eyes glaring at the countryside as if this held some blame. "He knows _we _don't care, we showed that ages ago. Why else would we be trying to become Animagi?"

Peter folded his arms across his chest and leaned back in his seat exasperatedly. "Then what are you saying, Sirius?"

"I'm saying that we can't change the opinions of others. Whatever Greyback said to him, it involved that. It involved him saying that Remus is scum and that no one in their right minds would ever be friends with someone like him. We're only three people and three people are nothing compared to the hundreds that would never put up with what he is."

"His parents do," Peter interjected.

"Because they're his _parents_. They would love him no matter what he is, that's the kind of people they are." Sirius planted his forehead in his hand. "Maybe we should just do what he wants and stop talking about it. We're not helping him by trying to force him to tell us exactly what happened that night. We're not helping ourselves either by constantly wondering."

"We can't just _drop_ it, Sirius, and pretend that nothing happened," James snapped disbelievingly.

"Yes we can! We're not helping, James!"

"You want to know what happened?" James, Sirius and Peter whipped around to see Remus standing in the doorway with an unreadable expression in his eyes. It looked like reluctant defeat, or unspeakable annoyance. "I'll tell you what happened, if it makes you all stop talking about it. I went to the Shrieking Shack that night, just like any other, and Greyback was there. He was waiting there all day for me. I don't know how he knew that was where I would be, but he did." Remus closed his eyes for a moment as the scene replayed in his head, Greyback's voice ringing loudly in his mind. "And… he said he wanted to prove that I was nothing – as a wizard or werewolf. That I couldn't fight him off as a wizard and I couldn't fight him off as a werewolf. He was right. You didn't see me until Madam Pomfrey was through, if you'd seen me before then, you'd see that he was right. I couldn't fight him off, I was too weak."

"Greyback is a monster, Remus," Sirius asserted vehemently. "You shouldn't be expected to fight off a monster."

"He's the same thing I am, Sirius! We're _both_ monsters." What couldn't they grasp about this? He was no different than Greyback. The very fact that he fought back proved this. Only a monster would fight back the way he had tried to. He could have taken the beating without protest, shown that he was the better man, but he didn't. He was trying to prove something to himself, and he didn't even know what that was. He lowered himself to Greyback's level, the level where he showed he was what everyone expected werewolves to be – complete and utter monsters.

"You're _not_ a monster."

"I fought back, Sirius! I _fought_ back. If I hadn't, I would still have some dignity left that proved I was above that kind of thing."

"You were defending yourself," James inserted in the hopes that it would do something to remedy the situation.

"Listen, James," Remus said slowly, visibly fighting to keep his voice in check. "I swore to myself a long time ago that I would never become what I became that night – a vicious beast. I could have taken it, Greyback wouldn't have killed me. He had something to prove and he couldn't do that by killing me."

Remus stared at the faces of his friends. He'd seen each of them wince horribly the mention of Greyback killing him, but the wince went away when Remus said that was not going to happen. He knew when James said that he was defending himself; it meant that he was trying to keep his life. "I became like Greyback that night." He slumped against the frame of the compartment door.

"Not entirely," Sirius murmured. Then, in a louder voice, added, "If you _had_ become like Greyback, you wouldn't be beating yourself up about this."

Remus said nothing; he only sat down on the empty seat beside James. The corners of James's mouth turned down as he tried to think of something to cheer his friend up. "Who's up for wrecking Peter's house this summer?"

Peter, startled by this sudden change of subject, jerked his head up and yelped, "What?"

"Well, you two have done it at my house for two years, you got Remus's last year, now it's your turn, Peter," James explained reasonably.

"What about Sirius's house?"

"We're not going to _my_ house, Pete," Sirius rebuked quickly. "Besides, my house is a wreck enough without you three having any part in it."

James scoffed. "I seriously doubt your mother would let your house go to ruins."

Sirius smirked. "Not unless I had something to do with it."

"Yes, but you're not home often enough to do something like that."

Sirius barked out a laugh. "Wait until I'm an adult and I can use magic outside of school. Think my dear old mum would enjoy having a house full of wild animals?"

"She'd fit right in, wouldn't she?" Remus offered in a small voice.

Sirius feigned outrage, though was pleased that their efforts had proved fruitful and Remus was back to joking around with them, even if only a little. "Remus Lupin, I am astonished! No, I am _outraged_ that you would ever compare my mother to a wild animal!" He slapped a hand to his forehead and shook his head wildly. "The more _appropriate_ comparison is a banshee."

"Oh, well, _sorry_ for the confusion."

"You're quite forgiven."

Some time later the train skidded to a halt at Platform Nine and Three Quarters and, almost at once, the students began filing into the corridors, ready to greet their families after another year of separation. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter sat in their compartment, watching through the window as the others passed by.

"So," Sirius finally said, tapping his knee with his hand, "fourth year is over."

"Yeah," James said, nodding slowly, Peter and Remus doing the same.

Sirius stood up and pulled his trunk off the luggage rack above the seat. He looked over his shoulder at his friends and nodded towards the door. "I say good riddance."

* * *

**_Excerpt from Chapter Forty Three: Brownies, Explosions and Wagers:_**

"Problems at the Lovegood house," Charles whispered, though the boys just managed to hear.

"What kind of problems?"

"We're not sure," Harry admitted. "There were loud explosions, lots of yelling, the neighbours reported it. Dumbledore only just got the information to us."

"Who else is heading there?"

"Mad Eye's on his way," Charles reported.

"Fabian and Gideon are going, as well," Harry added. "We might have more coming, but so far, it's just us. We need you to come, as well. If there are a lot of them, we need as many men we can get."


	43. Brownies, Explosions and Wagers

Chapter Forty Three  
Brownies, Explosions and Wagers

"I must say, I'm pleasantly surprised."

"As am I."

"You could knock me over with a quill."

"Oh, come on," Peter said, setting a wooden spoon covered in brown goop down on the counter where James, Sirius and Remus had made themselves comfortable. They had been making remarks like this for the past twenty minutes. "Is it so hard to believe that I can cook?" He turned the sink on and ran the spoon under it, rinsing the gooey brownie mix off it.

"I don't know," Sirius said thoughtfully, looking up at the ceiling. "I mean, Remus here can sing and play the piano, and now you can cook? What secret abilities do you have, James?"

James could actually bake, but not to the extent Peter could. He shrugged in a nonchalant manner and thought of a better, more original talent of his. "I can juggle plates."

Sirius laughed loudly, before stopping and facing James seriously. "Wait, honestly?"

James nodded towards Peter. "Hand me two plates, will you, Pete?"

Peter, looking as though he was doing this against his better judgement, warily retrieved two plates from the nearest cabinet. Tentatively, he handed them to James. "Try not to break them," he pleaded. The last thing he needed was for his mother to come home and find two of her plates smashed to pieces.

"Don't worry." James grasped the plates in each hand and, very steadily, began tossing them in the air and catching them.

"Okay, I feel like a complete loser now," Sirius lamented, though with a big grin on his face as he watched James continue to juggle. "The most _I_ can do is roll my tongue."

"You should feel proud," James commented earnestly, still juggling the plates, his eyes narrowed in focus. Sirius, smirking, stuck his tongue out and rolled it. "See, you're talented," James commended, successfully catching the two plates in each hand and setting them down beside him on the counter.

Peter, relief evident on his face that no plates had been shattered, said, "If my parents had walked in to see you juggling their silverware, they would have heart failure."

James chuckled reminiscently. "My mum screamed for about five minutes straight the first time she saw me do that."

"And how old were you when you discovered this talent?" Remus inquired leaning forward so he could see past Sirius to where James was sitting.

James glanced up at the ceiling thoughtfully. "Four, I think."

"I see your mum's reasoning."

"I don't see why she went so mental. For all she knew, I could have turned out to be a plate juggling prodigy."

"Yes… or you could have cost your mum every plate she owned."

James scoffed. "You're such a cynic."

"Is anyone going to help me clean this up?" Peter piped up suddenly after he slid the tray filled with brownie mix into the oven. He was looking pointedly at Sirius, who was the one with a craving for chocolate. Sirius, sensing the hint, promptly looked away, pretending to be intensely interested in the knitting patterns of the place mates on the kitchen table.

Remus sighed exasperatedly and slid off the counter. "I'll help you, Pete."

"No, that's okay, you don't have to," Peter said quickly. Remus raised an eyebrow at him. It had been some time since the incident in the Shrieking Shack, but Peter occasionally treated Remus as if he was going to break at some point, as if he was still too close to the edge. Remus was not blind to this, but he did not understand it at all. He had proven that he was not going to have a nervous breakdown – he hadn't had one when it happened, so why would he now, weeks later? Peter, guessing what was going through his friend's mind, nodded. "Here." Peter tossed Remus a towel, which Remus caught as it almost hit his face.

"Wait a moment," Sirius said abruptly. He leaned over and peered into the sink, where the wooden spoon was lying. "You cleaned the spoon already?"

"Yes… what's it to you?" Sirius had been watching as Peter ran the brownie mix off the spoon and into the sink.

Sirius's face fell. "I wanted it."

James rolled his eyes and shoved Sirius in the shoulder. "How old are you, Sirius? Six?"

"Take nine years off my age, and yes, I _am_ six."

"You can still have the spoon, you know," Remus said casually, picking up the soapy wooden spoon and holding it out to his friend. Sirius made a face of disgust and pushed Remus's arm away, splattering Remus's shirt with soap. He hastily wiped it away with the towel Peter had thrown at him. "Don't say I didn't offer."

The front door opened and Mrs. Maggie Pettigrew strode inside, carrying three grocery bags filled to the brim with groceries. James and Sirius immediately took on their gentlemen facades and slid off the counter to relieve Mrs. Pettigrew of her burden. "Thank you, boys," she said rather breathlessly, fanning herself with the letters she was gripping. The weather outside was stifling, and it was no better inside the Pettigrew house when the oven was on. Only Sirius could want a warm brownie on a day when entire egg breakfasts could be made on the sidewalk.

Apparently Mrs. Pettigrew was thinking along the same lines as three of the four boys. "Peter, how could you _possibly_ be baking in this weather?"

"One of my friends is clinically insane," Peter responded, pulling down the oven door to see the progress the brownies were making.

Mrs. Pettigrew made no further inquiries and, instead, simply opened the window above the counter where the boys had been sitting moments earlier. "I have some letters," she said, shuffling through the parchment envelopes in her hand. "Here you are, Remus," she handed Remus the letter on top. "And one for you, James," she gave James the letter that had been resting under Remus's. She took the rest of the letters and set them down in the letterbox at the centre of the table.

"Hmm," Remus said as his eyes scanned his letter, his brow furrowed.

"What?" Sirius asked curiously, trying to read the letter over his friend's shoulder.

"My dog is a father," Remus laughed.

"_What?_" James, Sirius and Peter yelped.

"He's a father," Remus repeated, laughing even harder. "He got a bit too friendly with a Lab in town and she gave birth to three puppies yesterday."

"Aww, Remus is an uncle," Sirius crooned sentimentally.

"What are your parents going to do with the puppies?" Peter questioned.

"They took two and the owner of the other dog kept the third one. My parents are probably going to give one of them away. They can't handle four dogs."

"Three," Peter corrected.

"_Four_," Remus insisted, pointing to himself. "Personally, I think Dommie is the worst one to handle. Hey, any of you want a dog?"

"Mum?" Peter asked hopefully. He had always wanted a dog and his friend was offering one for free.

Maggie's lip twitched. Peter wanted a dog, yes, but he would not even be around for the remainder of the year to take care of it. Yet, _she_ had always wanted a dog when she was a child and her parents had refused. She turned to Remus. "When could your parents bring it by?"

Peter grinned triumphantly.

"As soon as I write to them," Remus replied happily. His parents were keeping one of the puppies, but they wanted a good home for the other one. The Pettigrew house would be a nice place for it. Remus took the quill and ink that was pushed against the wall on the counter and turned the parchment over, writing his own response for his parents. When he was finished, he straightened up and folded the letter so his response was facing upwards. "What did your letter say, James?"

"Oh," James started, startled. He had not even read his letter yet. His eyes quickly scanned the page. "Nothing very interesting," he admitted. "They were just wondering if I was having fun and that Willie's thinking of trying a new cake recipe – tripe cake."

"Ugh," Sirius groaned, cringing in disgust. "What is she _thinking_?"

"That since my parents enjoy tripe they might like it in cake batter."

"No offense meant, James, but that's revolting."

"Yeah, it is," James conceded wholeheartedly. He pocketed the letter, trying to force the image of a cake made of tripe out of his mind. "So, what d'you guys want to do?"

"No lakes around your house, are there, Peter?" Sirius queried, folding his arms across his chest and cocking his head to the side. It had almost become tradition for the boys to visit a lake during the summer holidays. This was mainly because there was a lake around both James's and Remus's houses. Sirius, to his disdain, lived in the heart of London and there were no lakes to be found around his house. Peter did not live in the country like two of his friends, but he did not necessarily live in the city either.

"No…" Peter replied distractedly as he bent down to peer once more inside the window on the stove door. Straightening up, he answered more definitively. "No, there aren't any lakes near here." He took the oven mitt off the counter and placed it securely on his hand so he could remove the brownies. "I wish there was one," he added, setting the tray down on the stovetop to cool.

"Why's that?"

"We're going to need a way for you to get this sugar out of your system."

* * *

It was a quiet, still night, the only sounds to be heard were the chirping of the crickets, the occasionally rustle of the trees as a small breeze passed through, and the light breathing of the four boys crammed inside the parlour of the Pettigrew house. Mr. and Mrs. Pettigrew had done as Mr. and Mrs. Lupin had and forced four cots into the room that was usually crowded with sofas and chairs. These pieces of furniture currently resided in Peter's room. The boys had exhausted themselves in their attempt to keep Sirius from devouring too many of Peter's delicious, and sugar-filled, brownies. They could hardly handle a Sirius when he wasn't wired on sugar. They shuddered to think of what his behaviour would be like after he'd eaten five considerably large pieces of pure chocolate.

The silence of the night was quickly broken by several pops and an abrupt rapping on the front door. The four boys bolted up and sat rigid in their beds, wondering if it was okay to move or not. Sirius, Remus and James glanced uneasily at Peter, their expressions clearly asking if it was protocol at his house for visitors in the early morning hours. Peter's eyes told them that this had never happened before, at least not when he had been home. His mouth opened, no doubt in an attempt to call his parents, but he shut it quickly. If there was someone at the door who wasn't supposed to be out there, they did not want to give that person any hints that the only thing on the other side of the door was four unarmed boys of fifteen.

The person knocked again, as though he or she was about ready to knock the door down if there was no answer, and it struck the boys as faintly odd. If this person had come to harm them, he or she would certainly not bother to knock, though it was in a harsh manner. This person would sooner throw the door off its hinges and invade the house with wand at the ready. Maggie and John Pettigrew came rushing down the stairs, both with their wands in hand. They threw a sideways glance at the boys, and John motioned for them to lie down. They did this reluctantly, but they knew Mr. Pettigrew was telling them to do the right thing. They would be less obvious to the callers if they were lying down.

"Who's there? Identify yourself!" Mr. Pettigrew barked, holding his wand steady. "I'm armed!"

"John!" a familiar voice called back.

"You've got to come with us!" a second, also recognizable, voice shouted.

Though the relief was apparent in Mr. Pettigrew's face, he still forced the callers to identify themselves or else he would not let them in.

"It's Harry Lupin! I'm a writer for the _Daily Prophet_, my Muggle wife's name is Anna and my son, Remus, is staying at your house and is probably only a few feet away from you right now."

"It's Charles Potter. I'm a Healer at St. Mungo's, my wife's name is Hannah and my son, James, is also staying at your house, as well as his friend Sirius, and they're also only a few feet away from you, I reckon."

Satisfied, Mr. Pettigrew unlocked the door and allowed the two harried men inside. Mr. Lupin and Mr. Potter were out of breath, though they must have Apparated from wherever they were coming from. The boys were surprised to see that the two men had not come alone, their wives were with them. What was going on? What would bring the four of them out at this time night? "What's going on?" Mr. Pettigrew asked, lowering his voice and his wand now.

"Problems at the Lovegood house," Charles whispered, though the boys just managed to hear.

"What kind of problems?"

"We're not sure," Harry admitted. "There were loud explosions, lots of yelling, the neighbours reported it. Dumbledore only just got the information to us."

"Who else is heading there?"

"Mad Eye's on his way," Charles reported.

"Fabian and Gideon are going, as well," Harry added. "We might have more coming, but so far, it's just us. We need you to come, as well. If there are a lot of them, we need as many men we can get."

John peered over at Anna and Hannah, who were hovering by the door. "Is Hannah coming as well?" He knew that Hannah had no objections to fighting, but he was not set on letting them go so readily. Not with all of the boys here. Anna, who was a Muggle, could not do much to help in this situation.

"We wanted them here," Harry told him. "We can send them any information we get and they can forward it to Dumbledore." Harry yanked the cloak off the rack beside him and threw it at John. "We don't have time to waste." And the three men ran out of the house and disappeared into the night.

"Mum, what's going on?" Remus asked, his eyes fixed on the spot where his father had just been standing.

"Nothing, Remus, go back to sleep," Anna said hastily.

Remus exchanged an incredulous look with his friends. How could she possibly expect any of them to go back to sleep after they heard there was suspicious activity going on at the Lovegoods'?

"We might as well let them stay up with us until the men come back," Maggie said resignedly. The three mothers were well aware of the determination of four teenage boys to get what they wanted. It could do them no harm to simply sit up and wait for the men to return. Besides, they did know the Lovegoods' son, Xeno. They would want to hear if everything was okay. Maggie, Anna and Hannah disappeared into the kitchen, speaking in hushed voices as they did so.

"Loud explosion at the Lovegoods'?" James said, his eyes wide with curiosity and a trace of fear.

Sirius laughed nervously. "Well, you know that family, for all we know, _they_ could be the ones causing the commotion."

Remus shrugged halfheartedly. "I wouldn't be surprised if you were right. Let's just hope you are." He swung his legs over the edge of his cot and said he had to go ask his mother something.

"What do you think happened?" Sirius asked James and Peter as Remus disappeared around the corner.

"It could be those people we saw with Malfoy in the Forbidden Forest," Peter reasoned before anxiously chewing his bottom lip.

"I was thinking that too," James admitted, playing with a loose thread in his blanket. "We don't know if they were still recruiting last year. We had too much else to worry about."

Sirius nodded. With their friend in danger, how could they let their minds wander to the Forbidden Forest that they had visited in their third year? "They could have been. Maybe if I ask _Regulus_ he could tell me."

It was a well known fact to James, Peter and Remus that Sirius's younger brother, Regulus, was considering joining up with the group they had found in the Forbidden Forest almost two years ago. The moment Sirius saw his younger brother conversing with some of the Slytherins involved, he snapped and proceeded to chase them down to the Forbidden Forest, Remus at his heels. Sirius vastly disagreed with the views of his brother, as they perfectly matched those of their parents, but he did not want his brother associating with people like that. Sirius couldn't help that he was born with the protective older brother gene.

James tried to appease his friend's darkened thoughts. "I doubt Regulus is stupid enough to go with these people at night. He may be a Slytherin, but he'd got some intelligence, at least."

Sirius smiled darkly. "Why not? We saw him fighting Lovegood once before. Why wouldn't he do it again?"

"Because this time it involved seriously hurting someone and his entire family, not just stupid hallway dueling." James yanked out the thread he had wrapped around his fingers. "Your brother _does_ have a brain, Sirius. I know you don't like to think so, but he does."

The corners of Sirius's mouth turned up again. "Yeah… Regulus isn't _that_ stupid. Not yet, anyway."

Remus reentered the room, carrying a copy of the day's _Daily Prophet_, his eyes moving frantically as he scanned the front page. Eyes still on the newspaper, he sat down on his cot.

"Anything interesting?" James inquired. He knew the only reason Remus was reading the paper was to see if there were any hints of strange activity that could have led to the goings-on at the Lovegood house.

"Nothing that could tell us what's happening," Remus said quietly, his gaze still focused on the _Prophet_. He folded the paper in halves and held it out for James to take. "But there's an article about Twikom being sacked."

The four knew it was only a matter of time before Professor Dumbledore sacked their Defence Against the Dark Arts mentor, Professor Twikom. She had known all along that something was going to happen to Remus and had withheld the information. Professor Dumbledore could not have a staff member who was so selfish that it jeopardized the safety of one of his students. It was rare that a Hogwarts professor was actually fired; they usually left for other reasons. Some resigned, some were ill, others left for mysterious duties he could not tell his students, one even ran off with a love stricken banshee, but none had yet been sacked.

Sirius and Peter leaned over to read the article with James. "Says she went to Dumbledore with the information right after Madam Pomfrey took you down."

"So why did McGonagall look so scared that morning?" Peter wondered. He had rarely ever seen such a terrified look in the Deputy Headmistress's eyes.

Remus shrugged. "Maybe she suspected something and that was why Madam Pomfrey took me to the Shrieking Shack so early?"

"Could be," James conceded. He folded up the paper and set it down on his cot. "So we're on our fifth Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. I say we have a bet. How is this one leaving?"

"Three Galleons says they're sacked," Peter wagered.

Remus shook his head disagreeably. "No, four Galleons say this one's run out of the school."

James frowned. "Doubtful. The only people who would bother to run a professor out of school are us and I don't really feel like it. Five Galleons that they leave on some unknown expedition that they won't tell anyone about."

"No way, mate," Sirius disagreed vehemently. "This one's leaving doing back flips because he's so bloody happy to get away from the Slytherins."

James laughed loudly, trying to imagine any professor doing that. "You're on!"

Remus turned to Peter. "How did we get to betting on our professor?"

Peter shrugged. "That's a good question."

"Boys." The four boys looked over their shoulders to see Hannah, Maggie and Anna standing in the doorway to the parlour.

"Yes, Mum?" James, Remus and Peter said in unison.

"You really _should_ get some sleep," Anna advised, crossing her arms across her chest. "They're not going to be back for a while."

The boys raised their eyebrows at each other; it was clear the women were going for the theory that if they went to sleep, they would find out what they wanted to know faster. This theory had been applied to everything – Christmas, birthdays, and summer holidays – and it hardly ever proved true. The boys would not rest until they found out exactly what was going on at the Lovegoods' place.

Just then there were three distinctive pops from inside the kitchen. That was incredibly fast.

"I don't believe it," Harry Lupin snarled, the outrage apparent in his voice.

"It was utterly ridiculous," Charles Potter raged, his feet stamping hard on the floor as he moved about the kitchen.

"What were they _thinking_?" John Pettigrew wondered in a tone much similar to his peers.

"What happened, Dad?" James called.

"There was no attack!" Charles replied heatedly.

"_What?_" the four boys and three women said in shock. If there was no attack, why had there been such a commotion that it drew the attention of others?

"Mad Eye won't be pleased," John muttered just loud enough for the others to hear.

"He hadn't arrived yet?" Maggie asked her husband. "He's usually the first on the scene."

"Oh, no," Harry said, appearing in the room with Charles and John at either side of him. "He was just arriving as we were leaving; we didn't wait to see his reaction."

"But _what_ happened?" Hannah questioned impatiently. "If there was no attack, where did the explosions come from?"

Charles grinned wryly. "Xeno thought it would be fun to set off all his Exploding Snap cards in one of the potions his father was working on. He'll be getting a warning from the Ministry of Magic tomorrow, I expect." He suddenly scowled. "The boy should know better than to pull stunts like that, especially in times like these."

"Times like what, Mr. Potter?" Sirius piped up. He knew exactly what Charles was talking about; they were living in dangerous times, but he wanted to know the specific reason.

Charles, however, was not willing to give them that information. "Nothing, boys, just go back to sleep." The six adults lowered their voices and disappeared into the other room, unwilling to let their sons hear anymore of what had occurred that night and why they had all panicked.

The boys reluctantly listened to them and fell back onto their pillows. Why was it that whenever something exciting was happening, parents could do nothing except tell their children to go back to sleep?

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Forty Four: To Be a Prefect**_

"Oi, Lupin!" he shouted gleefully, laughing as the top of Remus's head stopped moving as Remus made his way towards the train. Sirius could see Remus whirling around on the spot, trying to locate the source of the noise. He turned in the appropriate direction and Sirius yelled, "Get that disgusting bum of yours over here!"

"Nice to see you too, Sirius," Remus greeted sarcastically once he had fought his way through a group of hyperactive fourth year girls who were giggling endlessly, fawning over the others that they had not seen in what they proclaimed to be ages. Honestly, girls made three minutes of absence seem like an eternity.


	44. To Be a Prefect

Chapter Forty Four  
To Be a Prefect

The relative calm and quiet of the Lupin household was abruptly broken with a cry of complete horror. Mr. and Mrs. Lupin, who had been debating on a new way to decorate their bedroom, gaped at each other when they heard this, recognising the cry as their son's. What had he done now? It was not uncommon recently for Remus to be doing something and accidentally smash, snap, or melt whatever he was using. Now must have been one of those times. His frustration must have reached its breaking point. The adults abandoned their debate and quickly descended into the kitchen, where they could see, through the window, an owl flying off in the distance. Remus was standing in the centre of the room, a red and gold badge in one hand and his wide eyes staring at the sheet of parchment held in his other hand.

"Remus, what happened?" Anna Lupin asked concernedly, looking over her son to make sure he was alright.

Remus struggled with his words for a moment, seemingly trying to find the best way to express what he was feeling. His mouth opened and closed several times as he tried to formulate the best way to word it. "How could he do this to me?"

Harry sighed knowingly. They should have suspected this the second they saw him holding a letter. "What did James do?" Who else could be behind the source of Remus's horror if not for one of his best friends?

Remus did not hear his father and merely continued with his tirade. "Is he _mental_?"

"What did _Sirius_ do now?" Harry amended. If it wasn't James, it was certainly the eldest Black child.

"He is! He's bloody _mental_! What was he _thinking_?"

Harry and Anna glanced worriedly at each other, both clearly concerned about their son's sanity at this time. He was making absolutely no sense. Anna asked tentatively, "Remus, what are you talking about?"

"Dumbledore!"

"_Dumbledore?_" his parents echoed in shocked. Remus never spoke so lowly of their Headmaster for the fact that Dumbledore had never done anything to warrant it. "What did he _do_?" Harry questioned interestedly.

"He made me a _Prefect_," Remus replied, spitting out the words like venom.

"Oh, Remus, this is wonderful!" Anna said happily. It was one of the highest honours at Hogwarts to be made a Prefect. So why was Remus acting as if Dumbledore had assigned him his execution date?

"Wonderful? This is not _wonderful_! This is _terrible_!"

"Why is it terrible?"

"Do you know what being a Prefect _means_?"

"That Dumbledore thinks you're responsible enough to help the younger students?"

"Remus, you're not upset about _that_, are you?" In all the years Harry had gotten to know his son, this was the last thing he would expect. Remus liked helping others; he wouldn't be upset about that.

"No, of course not! This means I have to keep my friends in line; do you know how bloody _impossible_ that is?"

"Ah, now we come to the problem."

"They're insane! Sirius and James more than Peter but put the three of them together and you have a huge mass of fifteen year old _insanity_!"

"Remus, you're fifteen too," Anna pointed out carefully.

"I _know_, Mum, but they never had to keep _me_ in line." He thrust the badge at his mother so she could get a better look, never having seen a prefect badge before. "Stupid letter P," Remus muttered, narrowly eyeing the badge of honour with a look of the utmost loathing.

Harry stepped in, trying to erase the confused anger his son was currently experiencing. "Maybe Dumbledore just thinks you're the right person for the job."

Remus laughed hollowly. "I bet you anything he only gave me the job so I would have to keep my friends in line."

Anna and Harry eyed at each other, each of them thinking along the same lines. Remus was probably right; Dumbledore's main reason for assigning him the job _would_ be to keep his best friends in line. James and Sirius were rowdier than Remus ever would be. It was true that Peter was not nearly as… hyperactive as James and Sirius; he would have a far more difficult time keeping the two from breaking too many rules than Remus would. Remus held a bit more authority over the two than Peter. They saw where their son's anxiety was coming from – this would turn out to be a full time occupation, not just a side job.

"Well, Dumbledore wouldn't give you the job _only_ for that Remus," Harry assured his son, hoping to ease his nerves. "I'm sure Dumbledore doesn't hand out Prefect assignments based solely on what you're worried about."

Remus had to keep the derisive laugh threatening to come out from doing so. "If that was the case, why didn't he give the job to Frank? He's just as capable as I am." He honestly just did not _want_ the job. He would have enough to be getting on with during his fifth year, what with the OWL exams that were practically knocking the door of arrival down with a battering ram and the full moons that were taking everything out of his. He stuck to his theory that, as he got older, the full moons would grow worse. Now that he was fifteen… fifteen would be no better than fourteen. But Dumbledore had to add prefect duties to this? Remus would have to patrol the corridors when he would rather be in bed, break up duels when he would rather take part or stay out.

"Let's go to Diagon Alley today," Harry abruptly suggested.

Remus glanced up, eyebrows raised. "Why?"

"Well, your booklist came and I think you could do with a new pet, to celebrate this. It's not every day my son is made a Prefect. How would you like an owl of your own?"

Remus did not hesitate to agree. If being a Prefect meant he finally got his own owl… he would just have to deal with it.

September first dawned rather windy, yet with perfectly clear skies. No one expected the blue, cloudless skies to remain, however, not with the way the wind was racing across the sky. The weather had until probably only six in the evening before it took a turn for the worst. Luckily, the impending inclement weather held off so the parents of the witches and wizards preparing for their new year at Hogwarts could get them on the train without worrying about a torrential downpour. They took full advantage of the crystal skies to say lengthy goodbyes to their children.

Unlike these happy families saying their tearful farewells, Sirius Black had already slipped away from Walburga and Orion, as well as his little brother Regulus, and was scouting out Platform Nine and Three Quarters in hopes of finding his best mates. He had not seen them since they had all left the Pettigrews' and had only spoken to James through letters. He was suffering from a rather serious case of friendship withdrawal and needed to remedy it immediately. But, as his eyes grazed over the heads in the crowd, he did not see the untidy mass of black hair that belonged to James, nor did he see the mousy blonde hair of Peter Pettigrew. He did, however, see a crop of sandy brown hair that could belong to only one person.

"Oi, Lupin!" he shouted gleefully, laughing as the top of Remus's head stopped moving as Remus made his way towards the train. Sirius could see Remus whirling around on the spot, trying to locate the source of the noise. He turned in the appropriate direction and Sirius yelled, "Get that disgusting bum of yours over here!"

"Nice to see you too, Sirius," Remus greeted sarcastically once he had fought his way through a group of hyperactive fourth year girls who were giggling endlessly, fawning over the others that they had not seen in what they proclaimed to be _ages_. Honestly, girls made three minutes of absence seem like an eternity.

"What's that you've got there?" Sirius inquired, gesturing to the large cage Remus was holding. It contained a Barn Owl with enormous golden eyes. He folded his arms across his chest and smirked. "Parents finally caved in and got you an owl? What's the occasion?" Sirius knew the only reason Remus did not have an owl of his own was because Harry and Anna Lupin did not think it essential. Hogwarts had plenty of owls that he could use to mail his letters. Besides, Remus already had a dog, and now a new puppy. Sirius was rather surprised that his friend now had an owl. There must have been a special reason.

Remus suddenly appeared uncomfortable. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, purposely looking in the opposite direction of where Sirius was standing. "No… no reason, really."

"Don't give me that, Remus. Your parents wouldn't just give you an owl when you already have two pets." It was then that Sirius saw the red and gold P emblazoned on the chest of Remus's robes. His mouth instinctively dropped open. He had completely forgotten that fifth year meant Prefect assignments. "Dumbledore made you _Prefect_?"

"Yes," Remus admitted reluctantly, avoiding his friend's eyes so as to not see the mirth in them.

Much to Remus's surprise, Sirius did not laugh, nor did he smile in that annoying manner that suggested he _did_ want to laugh. "Well, that explains the owl. What'd you name it?"

"Jude."

Sirius pulled a face. "Odd name for a bird."

"I was listening to The Beatles when I was trying to think of a name."

Sirius questioned this no further; he never quite understood Remus's fascination with Muggle music. "It's about time you got an owl." He observed Jude the owl with fondness. "Peter like his new dog?"

"Yeah, he really likes him. He named him Apollo and - wait a moment," Remus abruptly burst out.

"What?"

"Why aren't you laughing at me?"

"Why would I do that?"

"Because Dumbledore made me a Prefect." He had been preparing himself for the fallout that he knew would occur on the first day of school for the entire remainder of the summer.

Sirius shrugged truthfully. "I dunno… you deserve being a Prefect."

"Are you joking? I've been preparing myself all summer for you and James and Peter to laugh your bloody heads silly at the thought of _me_ trying to keep _you_, not to mention every other troublemaker in the school, in line."

Sirius rubbed his chin attentively. "I didn't think about that part." He face split into a crooked smile and at once he started doing exactly as Remus predicted. He burst into a round of loud, obnoxious chortles. "Good luck, mate!" He continued laughing, not stopping even when Remus shoved him towards the train and he tripped over the stairs, landing straight in front of James and Peter.

"And so very gracefully he lands, much like a swan," James commentated thoughtfully.

"Or a faerie," Peter offered.

"Yes, I believe faerie seems like the more appropriate comparison."

"Stuff it, you two," Sirius snarled, picking himself up and straightening out his robes. He looked up and down the corridor before turning back to his friends. "C'mon, let's find us a compartment before the Slytherins take them all." He, James and Peter started off down the hallway.

"Er," Remus began uncertainly. His friends slowly revolved on the spot, raising their eyebrows at him when they saw he had not moved. "I… I have to go to the Prefect meeting." He braced himself for the raucous hilarity that was bound to follow, once what he had said sunk in with James and Peter.

Again, the laughter did not come.

"Okay," James simply said, shrugging. "It's not going to take the entire ride, is it?"

"Uh… I – I don't think so."

"Okay then, we'll see you later, mate." James, Peter and Sirius waved to Remus and hurried to find a compartment.

To say Remus was confused was an understatement. He was confused, perplexed flummoxed, bemused, befuddled and any other word for to describe his current feelings. Why were they taking this so easily? Why were they not torturing him for becoming a Prefect? Was he exaggerating their behaviour when he thought of how his friends would react to this? Not entirely, as Sirius had laughed when he finally thought about it. James and Peter would have to do the same eventually. He hoped it wasn't when he was around because he didn't fancy having to get them to shut up. Getting Sirius to be quiet was work enough. Sweet Merlin, this was going to be an interesting year.

The Prefects had secured a compartment at the front of the train, so Remus didn't have to go very far to locate it. He peered through the window, checking to see who was inside before he made the decision of going in. He could just as easily feign a sudden, foreign, illness. He saw that there were only a few people in there at the time, but they were people he did not necessarily have a problem with. Sixth year Keeper of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, Oliver Pulliman, was seated near the window, shifting through a box of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans. He could also see Jensen Patil; he must have been one of the Ravenclaw Prefects. Remus wondered who the other one was. There were also two older students that Remus did not know, but he assumed they were the Head Boy and the Head Girl.

Remus slid the compartment door open and stepped lightly over the threshold. At his first movement, the presumed Head Girl held her arm out to stop him. "Name?" she barked bossily.

Remus, taken aback, stuttered on his name. "R-Remus L-Lupin."

"Is he on the list?" she snapped at the rather frightened boy beside her. He hastily consulted the clipboard he was holding with shaking hands and nodded. "Sit," the girl demanded.

All too eager to be out of arm reach of this girl, Remus ducked under her arm and took the empty seat beside Jensen.

"She did the same thing to me," Jensen hissed under his breath.

Remus, not knowing what to say, laughed nervously, keeping his gaze averted from the terrifying Head Girl.

The compartment slowly filled. The older Prefects were let by without an interrogation, but the fifth years were held back; the Head Boy checking their names to see if they were, indeed, the new Prefects. Remus recognised the fifth years – two Hufflepuffs, Allison Abbot and Craig MacMillian, and the other Ravenclaw, Emily Fort. He wondered where the Slytherin Prefects could be, not that he was in much of a rush for them to arrive, as he had the unsettling suspicion that he knew who one of them was. The other Gryffindor Prefect was taking her time getting there as well. There wasn't much of a selection for Gryffindor – only Lily Evans and Alice Gordon. He would be happy with either choice.

The compartment door opened and two students were stopped by the overly authoritative Head Girl. Remus suppressed his groan. He had been right.

"Names?" the Head Girl ordered.

"Lily Evans."

"Severus Snape." Naturally the only thing that could worsen this whole Prefect thing was Severus Snape being the Slytherin male Prefect. He found out only seconds later that the female Prefect was Juliet Percival. Remus had less of an issue with her than he did her male counterpart, so he greeted her with a cool nod. He smiled pleasantly at Lily, who returned the grin before sitting down in between Oliver Pulliman and Snape. Now that everyone had arrived, the bossy Head Girl cleared her throat a little louder than was necessary.

"New Prefects, you may or may not know me," she began in a voice that did not have to be so pompous. "My name is Alexandra Cooper of the Ravenclaw House and I am your Head Girl this year."

Remus was very much tempted to point out that they had figured that out by now, but he bit his tongue, literally, causing him to visibly wince. He suddenly realised that this meeting would be longer than he had anticipated. Cooper appeared to be the kind of girl who could talk for long amounts of time without having any recognition of the stupor her charges were falling into.

"This is Jeffery Bennett, your Head Boy, also a Ravenclaw." She jerked a thumb unimportantly at the frightened Head Boy, who appeared to be trying with great difficulty to keep himself from cowering under her glare. Remus didn't blame him, and he was sure many of his fellow Prefects felt the same way. Even Snape was eyeing Cooper with immense dislike. Then again, perhaps Remus should not have been so surprised about that. "We have here schedules of when you will be patrolling, who you will be patrolling with and where." She dropped the schedules into Juliet's lap and instructed her to pass them around. "There is to be absolutely _no_ negotiating with your allotted time, if you skip your patrol duty, the Headmaster _will_ be informed."

When Remus received his copy of the schedule he saw, with less surprise than he would have thought, that he patrolled once a week every week for September in the corridor near the Astronomy Tower. _Great, sending snogging couples back to bed, my dream job._ But that was not what he noticed right away – one of these nights happened to fall on the twentieth, a full moon. No negotiating… Well, she would have to settle for him not showing up without any notice, then. He knew Professor Dumbledore would understand.

Cooper drabbled on endlessly about the rules and regulations of the castle, most of which they all knew already, and the duties Prefects had to adhere to. The sixth years had all taken on dreamy stares as they daydreamed about the many things they wished they were doing at this time, while the fifth years were too afraid to nod off. For all they knew, she may have had to power to expel them from their title. After what seemed like ten lifetimes, but was really two hours, they were released from their hostage situation. The Prefects all but fled from the compartment.

"Oh, Merlin," Remus heard Lily sigh exasperatedly to Snape. "Did she not realise no one was listening to her?"

"Doubtful," Snape said agreeably. He glanced disdainfully back inside the compartment. "She looked like she was enjoying herself."

"Hey, Remus," Lily said, turning to her fellow Gryffindor Prefect. "When do you patrol?"

"Oh, uh…" Remus fumbled for his schedule. He held it out for Lily to see.

"Excellent, we'll be patrolling together. Rather you than Cooper."

"Rather _anyone_ than Cooper."

"D'you think she noticed the boogey hanging out of her nose the entire time she was talking?" Jensen Patil asked as he emerged from the compartment, pale in the face and a twitch in his eyes.

"If she did, she was doing a good job of pretending she didn't," Emily Fort chuckled before she and Jensen set off to patrol the train corridors.

"What was Dumbledore thinking, making her Head Girl?" Lily questioned, outraged. She could never picture the Headmaster assigning such a beastly girl to such an important position.

"That it would be fun to terrify his students?" Remus offered helpfully. "I need to go find James, Sirius and Peter."

"We're supposed to be patrolling," Snape told him, folding his arms across his chest and narrowing his eyes.

"So go patrol. I'll do that in a bit." Sweet, sweet Merlin this year was going to be akin with hell. He thought he hated _Snape_? Spending time with Snape was a walk in a beautiful, flowery park compared to listening continuously to the Head Girl's obnoxious voice for two hours. Without thinking, he stuck a finger in his ear to make sure they weren't bleeding profusely. Patrolling and breaking up fights and helping the younger students, he was only one person! Remus took a deep breath, trying to maintain his composure; this was no time to lose his sanity. Though the idea was dreadfully tempting, he had to stay calm; he couldn't let the pressure get to him.

He especially had to keep his cool now, as a fight had broken out right in front of him. _And so the fun begins…_ Remus whipped out his wand and advanced on the quarreling fourth years. One was currently using Muggle violence, kicking and punching the other with unnecessary force, while the other was desperately seeking his wand, which was lying uselessly on the floor three feet away. "Hey," Remus barked, stunned at the authority in his voice. "Break it up, you lot!"

They had either heard him and neglected his demand or pretended that they hadn't heard him at all. The first fighter continued beating the other. "Oi!" Remus snapped, trying to restrain him and receiving nothing except a punch to the face as he was mistaken for another attacker, not a Prefect. Ignoring the searing pain in his nose, Remus successfully restrained the first boy, pulling his arms painfully behind his back. When the boy finally gave up struggling to break free, Remus was able to think up a punishment. "Let's see, ten points from Slytherin for fighting a student with Muggle violence and injuring a Prefect."

"What? You can't be serious!" the Slytherin boy shouted indignantly, trying to break out of Remus's grip again.

"You're right, I'm not. Instead of ten points, let's make it twenty points because you argued about it."

The boy opened his mouth, no doubt to complain that Remus was being unfair, but quickly shut it. He didn't want to lose his house anymore points than he already had.

"Now that you've managed to break my nose, get back to your compartment before I dock another ten points."

Remus let the blood drip freely from his nose, staining the carpet below with tiny red drops. He trudged down the corridor, peering in the windows of the compartment doors. He finally found his friends sitting in a compartment near the back of the train, where they were engaged in what looked like a heated debate. He slid open the door.

"And that's why you never give a hedgehog a biscuit," Sirius concluded with an air of finality.

"Seriously, mate, get a life quickly," James advised, shaking his head.

"Any of you have a tissue?" Remus asked, no longer able to ignore the flow of blood issuing from his nostrils. It was splattering the collar of his shirt and the front of his robes. He was a mess.

The three looked up and their mouths fell open at the sight of Remus with a bruised and bloodied nose. "Did the Head Girl hit you?" Sirius joked.

Remus grimaced. "She could have if she wanted to." He slumped in his seat beside James, gratefully taking the tissue Peter offered him. He pressed it lightly to his nose, wincing as the pain seared through it. "I had to break up a fight. Slytherin's already down negative twenty points."

James sniggered mischievously. "Nice, maybe we should help it along a bit."

"Yeah, blow up some desks and blame it all on them," Sirius inputted.

Remus glanced uneasily between his two friends. This was precisely what he had feared. Oh, Merlin, this year couldn't end soon enough.

* * *

**_Excerpt from Chapter Forty Five: Years in the Making_**

"Hell!" Sirius shouted, pounding a fist loudly on the table. He promptly ignored every face that turned to look at him. "That's what it is! Hell! It's all a conspiracy to terrify every fifteen year old that comes through Hogwarts." 

"Calm down, Sirius," Remus advised, lowering himself onto the bench across from his friend. People were shamelessly staring at the commotion Sirius was making. 

"You're telling me to calm down? I saw you looking at McGonagall like you were about to wet yourself." 

Remus's face reddened. "I never said I wasn't nervous; you're just making a spectacle of yourself and I'd rather people stop looking over here." He took the ladle of stew and poured some into his bowl. "Besides, you think you have it bad? Try having to concentrate on the massive amounts of homework they're giving us and Prefect duties at the same time."


	45. Years in the Making

Chapter Forty Five  
Years in the Making

"I hate the OWLs."

"We haven't even taken them yet."

"I don't care, I still hate them." Sirius flung himself dejectedly onto the bench at the Gryffindor table. It was lunchtime on the first day of class and the Gryffindor fifth years had spent the past half hour listening to Professor McGonagall lecture them about the OWL Exams, which would take place that June. Honestly, the way she went on in her forbidding tone, it was as if the exams were a matter of life and death. Sirius and James stared at each other in horror the entire time, while Peter anxiously tried to write down everything the Transfiguration professor said, and Remus gaped at her in shock with his mouth hanging open. They had heard the horror stories about fifth year, but had never taken them seriously. Until now.

"Hell!" Sirius shouted, pounding a fist loudly on the table. He promptly ignored every face that turned to look at him. "That's what it is! _Hell! _It's all a conspiracy to terrify every fifteen year old that comes through Hogwarts."

"Calm down, Sirius," Remus advised, lowering himself onto the bench across from his friend. People were shamelessly staring at the commotion Sirius was making.

"_You're_ telling _me_ to calm down? I saw you looking at McGonagall like you were about to wet yourself."

Remus's face reddened. "I never said I wasn't nervous; you're just making a spectacle of yourself and I'd rather people stop looking over here." He took the ladle of stew and poured some into his bowl. "Besides, you think you have it bad? Try having to concentrate on the massive amounts of homework they're giving us and Prefect duties at the same time."

"You haven't had to do that yet," James reminded him as he searched for something to eat before Sirius took it all in his melancholy state.

"True," Remus agreed fairly. "I'll get back to you after tomorrow night."

The next night he and Lily would be condemned to patrolling the Astronomy Tower until the late hours of the night. They hoped that, since it was the beginning of the school year, they would not run into too much trouble there. Remus had to say, he was glad the Head Girl was smart enough to pair Gryffindor with Gryffindor, Slytherin with Slytherin and so on. Obnoxious as Cooper might be, she at least knew who got along with whom. Remus didn't think he would be able to survive patrolling if he had been placed with Snape.

"So," James continued, dropping a roll onto his plate and picking off a piece. "Did you see the new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor?"

"Professor Kern?" Sirius asked, spooning around the stew in his dish with unnecessary anger. "What about him?"

"Dunno. He just didn't look very thrilled to be here."

"I think that might have been because you had bewitched all the professors' silverware to dance at the feast," Remus pointed out, pulling out the schedule Cooper had given him that day on the train.

"Dumbledore thought it was funny."

"Dumbledore thinks _everything_ is funny."

The Gryffindors were scheduled to have Defence Against the Dark Arts right after lunch, so they would learn in a short while if their new professor truly _did_ want to be there or was just teaching for the sake of getting money. If the latter was the case, why bother becoming a professor? The boys were fairly certain they did not make magnificent amounts of gold. If anything, he should have gotten a job at the Ministry, that way he would not have to force his presence on children. Once lunch ended, the four boys trooped up to their next class, falling into step with their fellow Gryffindor fifth year, Frank Longbottom. They discussed their summers as they made their way to class. Frank was quite interested when the boys told him about what happened at the Lovegoods' over the holidays.

James, Remus and Peter had tried repeatedly to ask their fathers about that night, even though they knew it was nothing more than a misunderstanding of uncalled for explosions. The boys wanted to know why they reacted in such a way; they wanted to know why they had to call in people named Moody, Gideon and Fabian. Who were they? How did their fathers know them? They had so many questions swimming through their heads, but their fathers simply refused to answer them. Their reasoning – the boys were too young to know. The boys strongly disagreed with this; they were two years away from adulthood.

Professor Kern was exactly how James had predicted. He did _not_ want to be there. He was listless and dull, reading off the class roster of Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs as though it was a recipe to a terribly drab dish. Then he went on to explain, in his monotonous voice, the seriousness of the OWL Exams. Every single student took this as their cue to promptly stare off into space. This man was Professor Binns in solid form. Besides, they had already heard this information reiterated by several professors in their voices. At least the other teachers made it sound more interesting – frightening, but interesting.

"Sweet Merlin, I thought that would never end," James moaned as they emerged from the classroom.

"I honestly think I was legitimately brain dead," Frank Longbottom groaned, rubbing his forehead as if to make sure there was still something behind his skull.

"Oh, come on," Lily Evans said from behind the mutinous boys. "It wasn't _that_ bad."  
James's mouth dropped open in horror. He spun around, causing Lily to walk straight into him. He took a step back. "Evans, were you sitting in the same room as us just then?"

"Yes, and I don't think he was as boring as you're making him out to be."

"Lily, may we all be able to have your patience," Remus chimed in, turning to look at her.

"It's not _patience_, it's-"

"Evans, allow me to demonstrate." Sirius stood perfectly straight and dulled the expression on his face. Then, dropping the pitch of his voice several octaves, he pretended to read off a scroll. "Black? Black? Has anyone seen Sirius Black?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Well, you didn't answer him the first two times."

"That's because I was in a stupor of boredom."

Alice Gordon added, "Lily, you know they're right."

Lily frowned and, with great effort, confirmed this. "I just hate admitting it." Lily and Alice quickened their pace. Alice glanced over her shoulder. "See you guys later."

"They'll see us later," James hissed under his breath. "If we don't have to listen to Kern again. How long do you think he'll last?"

"I give him two months," Peter wagered.

"Ha!" Sirius laughed. "I give him two _weeks_."

"Three months and he gets pushed out his classroom window," James insisted.

"I say three months, as well," Frank agreed. "Only every student fifth year and up drive him insane and he never wants to come back."

"No," Remus disagreed. "I give him a year." James, Sirius, Peter and Frank stared at him with their gaping mouths open. "That's how long everyone else has lasted, remember?"

* * *

James, Sirius and Peter were bored. Simply and utterly bored. They had homework, naturally, but were putting it off until it became inevitable that they would have to do it. They had long ago exhausted playing Exploding Snap and chess. They'd eaten all their sweets, and some from Remus's stash hidden under his socks. They were _bored_. The three boys were sprawled on Sirius's bed, staring at the ceiling with unfocused eyes. Occasionally one of the boys would comment on how ridiculously bored he was, but other than that, they talked about nothing.

"This is pathetic," James finally announced. "We're fifteen years old; we're supposed to make excitement when none is given to us."

"And what do you suggest we make excitement out of? Pocket lint?" Sirius questioned sardonically, playing with a thread he had plucked out of his blanket.

"That would probably be more exciting than just sitting here."

"I don't think so," Peter said absently, following a piece of floating dust with his eyes.

Sirius sat up, leaning back on his elbows. "He was joking, Pete."

Peter blinked quickly and turned to Sirius. "I know he was."

Sirius fell back against his mattress again. "Just checking." Sirius ripped the thread in half and then jumped to his feet. "Wait a moment."

"What?" James and Peter chorused eagerly, hoping Sirius had had a brainwave that would solve their problem.

"The potion!" Sirius shouted, a little too loudly. Lowering his voice, he went on, "Remember we checked it when we first came back? We drank it and everything, but we didn't have time to test it out."

James leapt to his feet to join Sirius. "Brilliant! Let's go!"

"It's almost curfew," Peter reminded them.

"Not a problem." James dived under his bed and slid out his trunk embossed with his initials. He pulled out from it the familiar silver, liquid-like cloak he had been given by his father - his Invisibility Cloak. Let the Prefects try catching them now. James tucked the cloak in his pocket and led Sirius and Peter out of the dormitory, through the common room and out into the corridor of Gryffindor Tower. He tossed the cloak over their heads and they set off at once for the Room of Requirement.

The day after their return to school the boys had made sure the potion simmered correctly over the summer. It looked exactly as the book described it – the consistency of water, the perfect shade of grey, the taste of bat droppings. Now that the potion had successfully entered their systems, they had to be able to concentrate long enough to go into their animal state and return as a human with all the correct parts. They did not want to have to roam around the castle with tails they needed to conceal. They had waited years for this, they couldn't fail now. Not when they were so close to achieving their goal.

The cauldron was standing in the centre of the room, waiting to be emptied of the no longer needed contents. The book said one goblet would be enough to ensure that they would be able to make the transformation. Since they did not know what to do with the remainder of the potion, they left it there. Perhaps they should dump it into one of the toilets in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom and flush it away. They would save that for later. Now they had to finish this task.

"Who wants to go first?" James asked, whipping the Invisibility Cloak off and stuffing it in his pocket. Neither Sirius nor Peter said anything. James didn't want to go first either, so he had another option. "How about we all have a go and see who gets it?" His friends agreed more enthusiastically to this idea.

The room was silent as the three boys concentrated every fiber of their thoughts onto their soon-to-be Animagus forms. They each roamed absentmindedly to different corners of the room, occasionally breaking the silence with a mutter under their breath. They had been working on this since third year. It was their chance to be there for their friend on the nights when he was alone and hurt himself because of it. They could not wait any longer to get this. If they did, they were likely to be graduated and who knew where they would be then? They could make the last few years of Remus's schooling career as pain free as possible. If they could only get this right.

The silence of the room was ruptured by a shout of surprise from James. Broken out of their concentration, Sirius and Peter spun around to see what had happened to their friends. But James was no longer there. Instead they were faced with a greyish stag with long, crooked antlers. Around the stag's eyes they could see a pattern of markings which were undoubtedly James's glasses. They had read they would be able to identify an Animagus by his markings. The stag was wearing a look of utter shock, its head moving as quickly as it could with the antlers weighing it down as if it was trying to get a good look at itself. James had done it!

"Sweet Merlin," Sirius gasped, staring at his friend in amazement. "You've done it!"

The stag reared its head proudly. Sirius and Peter were sure that, if it could, it would look incredibly smug.

"How do you get out of it, though?" Peter asked, joining Sirius by the stag's side.

"Maybe he can't," Sirius offered conspiratorially, his face breaking into a mischievous smile. "Maybe he'll stay that way forever and it'll go down in the history of the school. Whatever happened to James Potter?" The stag kicked its hind legs into Sirius. "Ouch!" Sirius shouted, jumping away from James. "I was only _joking_."

"Seriously, how does he become human again?" Peter asked concernedly. He knew that when he finally achieved this, he did not want to walk around with a tail for the rest of his life. James would have a difficult time concealing antlers that large.

"Think human thoughts?" Sirius suggested playfully.

The stag became suddenly still and Sirius and Peter knew James was trying to become human again, focusing on his human form. After ten minutes, the two boys were considering performing drastic measures that they were not even sure existed to get James back into his body. Fortunately, just as Sirius was whipping out his wand, a scrawny boy with untidy black hair was sitting on the floor. James saw Sirius with his wand out and immediately backed away, scrambling across the floor. "I did it, I don't need help," he begged.

"Nice work, mate," Sirius congratulated, holding out a hand and going to help his friend up. "What's the time?"

"Almost eleven," James replied, checking his watch. "Reckon we call it a night?"

"Peter and I haven't gotten it yet!"

"We'll come back tomorrow," James promised. "Don't want the Prefects to catch us, do we?" He winked at his friends. They would only run into Remus and Lily. In James's opinion, an angry Lily Evans was a lot scarier than an angry Remus Lupin. Besides, they had the Invisibility Cloak with them. He threw the cloak over their heads and led the way out of the room. The door dissolved behind them and they set off down the seventh floor corridor.

* * *

"I hate being a Prefect."

"It's not _so_ bad."

"You mean you _enjoyed_ telling those two seventh years to stop snogging and get back to bed?"

"Well, no. That wasn't one of the highlights of my night, but it's nice to try and enforce some order around the school."

Remus mumbled an incoherent response to Lily's sentiment. Had he not had friends who enjoyed causing the chaos Lily was trying to desperately to thwart, he might have agreed with her. Actually, he would rather to just keep out of everyone else's business. If someone wanted to cause trouble, as long as it didn't become lethal in any way, Remus did not want to waste his time and energy trying to stop this person. He just wanted to go to bed, the full moon was the following week and he was already beginning to feel more tired than usual. He stifled a yawn that was threatening to come out.

"Oh, about patrolling next week, I won't be able to – whoa!" Remus had walked headlong into what appeared to be nothing at all. But he knew better than this.

"Remus, are you alright?" Lily asked anxiously, gaping at the area where Remus had stumbled. There was nothing there; he couldn't have walked into thin air. Maybe he just tripped over his own feet. They were both very tired; it wouldn't be very strange if he had.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Lily," Remus said hastily, waving a hand dismissively. "You go on ahead, my shoelace came out. I'll catch up in a bit."

Lily still looked unsure, but left with another insistent nod from her fellow Prefect. Remus waited until Lily was out of sight before grabbing at the thin air, his hand catching on something solid, and he pulled his arm back quickly. "What are you doing?" he snapped at the three figures that were now visible.

James, Sirius and Peter were still giddy from James's accomplishment and could not keep the laughter out of their voices nor the silly grins off their faces.

"It seemed like a nice night for a walk," James replied airily, chortling.

Remus rolled his eyes. He knew better than this; they were up to something. "What are you guys doing?" he repeated more forcefully.

"Going for a walk," James repeated firmly, not chortling any longer.

"You're not going to write us up, are you?" Peter asked apprehensively.

Remus looked at his friends and bit his lip. The right thing to do would be to write them up and assign them detention for being out of bed after curfew, precisely what Peter feared. But a nagging voice in the back of his mind told him to just let them off with a warning. Remus hated this. He felt as though there was an angel sitting on one shoulder and a devil on the other, both shouting loudly for him to do what he wanted. "Don't let me catch you out here again," he ordered. "Get back to the common room."

"Thanks mate!" Sirius whispered happily, as he, James and Peter hurried past.

Remus waited until they had pulled the Invisibility Cloak over their heads before he returned to Lily. He caught up with her halfway up the corridor, where she was redoing her own shoelace. She looked up when she heard his footsteps.

"Did I mention how much I hate being a Prefect?"

* * *

With the success of James's transformation, Sirius and Peter were as determined as ever to achieve the same. Their goal was to be able to accompany Remus to the Shrieking Shack during September's full moon, a mere week away. Every night they disappeared to the Room of Requirement, leaving a bewildered Remus behind at the common room. They wanted to surprise him. He was still in the dark about why he had caught them sneaking around the castle the other night. They wanted to see the look on the werewolf's face when he was confronted with three strange animals with him in the Shrieking Shack. It was their chance to finally erase the monthly pain their friend had to endure.

Remus didn't mind them disappearing every night, as it gave him the chance to study without their loud voices penetrating his concentration. But he did wonder what they were up to. Part of his mind knew it must have something to do with their Animagus training, but if that was so, why were they keeping him out of it? He had been helping them with this ever since the beginning. It was because of him that they were doing this in the first place. It only made sense that he should help them. He shrugged it off; he would find out what they were doing soon enough. As long as he didn't catch them while he was doing one of his patrols, he didn't care what they were doing.

Speaking of patrols, Remus looked up to see Lily sitting across the common room with Frank and Alice. He still had not told Lily that he would not be able to join her on their patrol next week, as he was distracted by an invisible barrier that caused him numerous headaches every day of his life - James, Sirius and Peter. He abandoned his Arithmancy homework and crossed the room. As he approached the three, he couldn't help but notice Alice and Frank were sitting closer than was natural. It was only a matter of time…

"Lily?" he said, breaking the three out of their conversation about Professor Kern and his inability to cast a sufficient Stunner. Or so they heard from certain Slytherin sources. "Could I have a word?"

"Sure," Lily said, casting a wondering glance at her friends, and getting up to follow Remus to the window. "What's up?"

"I can't patrol with you next week, on the twentieth."

"Why not?" Lily asked with dread. The twentieth was a Saturday night and Saturday nights were the worst nights for patrolling. Whether it was troublemakers causing more mischief than usual or the Astronomy Tower filled with more snogging couples than they would like to find, Saturday nights were notorious for being the worst night to perform Prefect duties. "Don't abandon me," she added, a smile flitting across her face.

"I have to go visit my mum," Remus explained, trying to remember the last time he had used that excuse. It had been his last tutoring session with Lily the previous year, when she had unfortunately wanted to schedule it on the night of a full moon. "She's been feeling ill and my dad says she wants me home." One day his lies were going to come back to get him, he knew they would.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Lily said sympathetically. "I didn't realise your mum was still ill."

"It comes and goes."

"Well, I'll just ask Severus if he would like to do an extra shift with me."

"I'm sure he would." The entrance to the common room then burst open and they saw James, Sirius and Peter had returned from whatever they were doing. Remus turned back to Lily. "Thanks for understanding," and he hurried to, once again, ask what they were up to.

* * *

September twentieth dawned with the usual air of the first full moon of the year. Remus was more irritable than usual, and Sirius was louder than usual, which meant that James and Peter were also louder than usual in their efforts to shut Sirius up before Remus went and hexed him. Luckily, it was a Saturday and they did not have classes to slug through. Yet James, Sirius and Peter had vanished once more, leaving Remus to laze around the dormitory, trying to dull the pain in his head. To do this, he spent most of the day falling in and out of sleep.  
It was only around seven in the evening that he was broken out of his doze by Sirius's voice, laughing from somewhere above him. "Wake up, sleeping beauty." Remus's eyes snapped open to see James, Sirius and Peter peering over him. He jumped up and climbed up his pillow. This was a frightening thing to wake up to – those three with ridiculously gleeful looks on their faces. They were up to something. "Madam Pomfrey's waiting for you," Sirius informed him, grabbing Remus's blanket and yanking it back.

"You know, some people get a nice tap on the arm when they need to wake up. I get you three," Remus commented, reluctantly sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"You know you love us," James reminded him airily, going over to pull something out from under his bed. "You'd better hurry, though. Madam Pomfrey was looking furious."

"Why? I'm not late."

"We might've accidentally incapacitated a poor Slytherin fourth year with a rhinoceros horn growing out of his forehead and for some reason that put her in a bad mood."

"Brilliant," Remus muttered, pulling on his shoes and hurrying as fast as his legs could carry him out of the dormitory and down to the infirmary.

Madam Pomfrey was furious, just as James claimed. If it was possible, she would have had ten shades of steam coming out of various holes in her head. The nurse harped on him for not arriving before seven and Remus thought it best to point out that there was no exact time he was supposed to materialize, as long as it was a decent time before the moon rose. The nurse grabbed his arm and dragged him down seven flights and out onto the grounds, towards the Whomping Willow. The monthly custom lives again. She prodded the knot at the trunk and wished Remus luck as he descended into the dark tunnel leading to Hogsmeade.

The trip through the tunnel took no time at all, though Remus could not deny he was reminded of one of the last times he had entered this building. It was to find the very beast that had turned him into a werewolf. He was waiting on the top floor, waiting for Remus's blood. But Dumbledore had increased the security measures to such a length that Remus occasionally wondered if even Dumbledore himself could break them. Fenrir Greyback would never again step foot into the Shrieking Shack. When he arrived at the decrepit building, it was too find no one else there with him.

The moon rose as it always did and Remus felt the familiar pain course through his body, causing him to shout loudly, begging it to stop. It was only when he was a fully grown werewolf that he realised he was not alone. There was a stag, a large black dog, and a small rat in the room with him. They were standing fearfully in the corner, clearly having heard the entire transformation. The werewolf's first instinct was to attack these unfamiliar creatures, but a small, human voice said that they were friends. They were not here to hurt him, they were not enemies. They were here to help him and to have a good time. The werewolf cautiously approached the newcomers and sniffed the floor where they stood. The three animals backed away cautiously, in case their plan failed. Once the werewolf decided they were, indeed, friends, he growled in what was supposed to be a happy tone.  
And what had been years in the making, was finally a reality. The boys were at last able to help their friend on the nights of the full moon.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Forty Six: Hogsmeade Revisited**_

"Yeah, I do," Remus agreed fairly, ripping the pack open with his teeth. "But I'm not nearly as bad as you three are." He pulled out a piece of gum. "What're you betting on, anyway?"

"How long it takes before Cooper's sacked as Head Girl," Peter told him giddily, dropping another piece of chocolate onto the very tip of the pile. They hated the Head Girl just as much as he did, mostly because she caught them trying to set off fireworks under the Slytherin table in the Great Hall during breakfast the other morning.


	46. Hogsmeade Revisited

Chapter Forty Six  
Hogsmeade Revisited

The morning after the full moon, rumors began flying about the castle that the Head Girl, Alexandra Cooper, was in jeopardy of losing her position after having a loud shouting match with Professor Dumbledore. It appeared that Cooper was seething about a Gryffindor fifth year Prefect by the name of Remus Lupin, who did not show up for his patrol duties and instead had Severus Snape take his place. She was quite serious when she told the Prefects that they would not be able to negotiate their patrolling times nor would they be able to trade with another student, especially without giving her a reason. Needless to say, Dumbledore was furious with the seventh year for taking it upon herself to try and assign the Lupin boy detention the next time she saw him and for having the nerve to barge into the Headmaster's office and yell at him for allowing this.

Remus found this all out late in the afternoon the day after the full moon. He had been emerging from the Hospital Wing, tired and achy, when Cooper swooped down on him from out of nowhere, and began shouting about how he had _no_ right to skip his duties the night before. She threatened him with two weeks of detention with Professor Kettleburn and Hagrid, helping them care for the school's pack of Thestrals. Remus had no idea what Thestrals were, but he would not bet anything that they were friendly, cuddly creatures. The moment Remus opened his mouth to retort, Professor McGonagall materialized from around the corner and assigned Cooper to detention with her for all of the month of October and sent her to the Headmaster's office, again, to be spoken to. The Transfiguration professor filled Remus in on what had passed that day and sent him off to the common room, remarking on how unusually well he looked after a full moon.

Professor McGonagall's comment was true. He had never felt better after a night in the Shrieking Shack. The only aches and pains he had were from the transformation. There was no sign that he had harmed himself in a brutal manner, except for a scratch or two along his face and arms and they were by no means deep at all. Madam Pomfrey had been able to mend them in about three minutes. The only reason she kept him until the evening was to give him a chance to rest in peace, as he was considerably tired, and, mostly, because she was baffled as to why he was not badly injured, not that she minded this. She was elated that her monthly charge finally was able to keep his wolfish mind under control. It saved her from a lot of work and him from a lot of pain.

Remus found his friends sitting around the table in the Gryffindor common room, throwing Chocolate Frogs into the table until there was a pile that reached Peter's chin before them. Curious as to what they were doing, he approached them and took the vacant seat beside Sirius, who looked as if he was counting the Chocolate Frogs in the pile.

"What are you doing?"

The three looked around at his voice. "Betting," Sirius explained, tossing another Chocolate Frog into the fray.

"You know, maybe I should put you guys into a twelve step programme. This gambling is no good for you."

"You do it too," James accused him, picking his way through his pile of sweets. He pulled out a pack of Drooble's and tossed it to Remus.

"Yeah, I do," Remus agreed fairly, ripping the pack open with his teeth. "But I'm not nearly as bad as you three are." He pulled out a piece of gum. "What're you betting on, anyway?"

"How long it takes before Cooper's sacked as Head Girl," Peter told him giddily, dropping another piece of chocolate onto the very tip of the pile. They hated the Head Girl just as much as he did, mostly because she caught them trying to set off fireworks under the Slytherin table in the Great Hall during breakfast the other morning.

"The whole school thinks you're a hero, by the way," Sirius informed him, opening a Chocolate Frog he had not wagered.

Remus's eyes widened at this unexpected news. "Me? Why?"

"Because of you missing your patrol last night, Cooper flipped out on Dumbledore and everyone knows it's because of something you did. We've all been _dying_ to see her get in trouble."

Remus shook his head; it was amazing what the Hogwarts standards were for being considered a hero – getting the Head Girl, an authoritative figure who was supposed to be respected, in trouble with the Headmaster. Well, he wasn't complaining; he despised the girl just as badly as everyone else. It was a classic tale of hatred at first sight. He wouldn't mind if she lost her position, though he was not entirely sure that a Head Girl or Boy had ever lost the title before. He knew for certain it had never happened in his father's days at Hogwarts. His father certainly would have told him.

"So, about last night," he began, dropping the volume of his voice so no one sitting around them could try and listen in. "I didn't… _hurt_ any of you, did I?" He may have, for all he knew, and chosen to block it out. If he _had_ hurt any of them, they were doing an extraordinarily good job of hiding it. The three boys looked remarkably cheerful and uninjured.

"Nope," Sirius answered, biting off the head of his Chocolate Frog. "Peter's tail got stuck under a chair at one point, but that's it. You didn't have anything to do with it." Sirius suddenly turned to Peter, observing him with a rather unusual expression in his eyes. "Does that mean you've got a bruise on your bum?"

"No!" Peter defended heatedly, shifting his chair away from Sirius. "And don't think of checking either."

Sirius shrugged. "Suit yourself."

"I still can't believe we did it."

"Come on, Peter, we're _us_. How could we not get it?" James boasted, drawing himself up to his full height.

"James Potter, once again thinking he's the height of cool."

The four boys whipped around to see Lily Evans standing behind them.

James's hand instantly went through his hair, ruffling it. "Evans, you're looking quite nice today."

Lily ignored this and instead focused her attention on her fellow Prefect. Her eyes were filled with concern. "I just came over to ask how your mum's doing. Is she doing any better?"

Remus fidgeted uneasily in his seat and stared at the girl's right shoulder when he answered. "Oh… yeah, she's feeling better. She sent me back here a few hours ago, didn't want me missing too much school." He swiftly changed the subject. "Did Snape mind taking over for me?"

"No, he seemed fine with it." There was a hint of something else in Lily's voice, but she said nothing to indicate what it meant.

"I bet he didn't," James hissed under his breath.

"Good…" Remus then went out on a limb. "Tell him, if he wants, I'll do both his shifts for him next week."

James, Sirius and Peter simultaneously dropped their mouths open. Remus was a fair person, they had learned to deal with this a long time ago, but they never thought it went to such an extent. "Oh, shut your mouths, you three," he snapped at them when he saw their mouths gaping open.

"I'll tell him you offered," Lily promised. "Well, I'm meeting Alice and Frank. See you later."

"Remus, are you _mad?_" James said once Lily had disappeared through the portrait hole.

Remus was undeterred by James's shocked tone. "What? It's only fair. He took my place for me, so why shouldn't I do the same?"

"Because he's _Snape_. He's _Snivellus_. He's revolting. That's why!" Sirius raged as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"He'll probably make you do his shift and yours," Peter said, crumpling up a sweet wrapper and shoving it in his pocket.

"Lily said he didn't mind taking over me for."

"And we all know _why_." James's face contorted in disgust. He stood up and pushed his chair in under the table. "I've got to get down to the pitch."

"Tryouts are still going on?" The last Remus had checked, Quidditch tryouts took no more than a day.

"Yeah, well, Jamie's having a hard time deciding who our new Chaser should be." Jamie Kirkland, James's fellow Chaser, had been made captain of the Gryffindor team for her final year at Hogwarts. There were two exceptionally skilled players who had tried out – sixth year Phillip Murphy and fourth year David Green. Today they were going to play a few scrimmages, using each boy to see who played better with the entire team. James waved to his friends and left down the same path Lily had taken moments earlier.

"So, what d'you guys want to do today?" Peter asked once James had gone.

Sirius's eyes lit with mischief. "Blow up something in the dungeons?"

* * *

The new Gryffindor Chaser ended up being Phillip Murphy, who clobbered David Green in the final tryout, scoring twenty goals on his own, while David only managed to score six. The Gryffindor team began practises immediately following the tryouts. Those who had been on the team during the reign of Cory Hamilton and Lawrence Biggs were relieved to see that, while dedicated to her sport, Jamie was slightly more realistic than her predecessors were. She realised her teammates had lives outside of the Quidditch pitch. Their first match would be against Slytherin, a tough and determined, not to mention ruthless, team.

The first Hogsmeade trip of the year was approaching in mid October, during the second weekend of the month. This Hogsmeade trip was highly anticipated, as all the trips the previous year had been cancelled due to an attack on the village. But the village had recovered enough to now allow students back in to visit. Every student third year and up planned on taking the greatest advantage of their time in Hogsmeade, stocking up on supplies from Zonko's Joke Shop and replenishing their sweets supply from Honeydukes.

The day before they were set to visit Hogsmeade, the boys were seated at the Gryffindor table, bemoaning the obscene amount of homework Professor McGonagall had assigned them. Professor McGonagall was renowned as a strict teacher, but she was going to lengths they had not thought possible – a two foot long essay and practising spells. They would be up into the early hours of Monday morning completing this, even if they started Sunday morning and worked through the day.

"She's mad," Sirius hissed as the Transfiguration professor passed by on her way to the Staff Table. He checked to make sure she had not heard him and was now well out of earshot before continuing. "Doesn't she realise that we have other classes?"

"Probably," James lamented, spearing his potato with unnecessary force. "There goes all of Sunday."

"At least we've got Saturday in Hogsmeade," Remus said, trying to push some optimism into this conversation.

"Yeah," Sirius agreed grudgingly. "But then when we get back and don't come out of the common room for days because we're doing that assignment, everyone will be wondering whatever happened to the Gryffindor fifth years."

"They were swallowed up by the black hole known as Transfiguration homework." James speared another potato so hard that it split in half around his fork. "She's even affecting the way I eat!" He dropped his fork noisily onto his plate and pushed it away, his appetite gone.

"Glad to see you boys taking the homework load maturely," said a bright voice from behind them.

"Stuff it, Evans," Sirius muttered, throwing an angry glance Professor McGonagall's way.

"Cheery," Lily commented to Alice.

"I repeat: Stuff it, Evans."

"Sirius, stop being rude."

Sirius turned to gape at James. James was usually the only other out of the four of them that ever told Lily to stuff it. Now he had a problem with being rude to her? Remus and Peter were also wearing similar expressions of shock.

Lily shrugged and continued down the aisle between the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables with Alice to where Frank was sitting. The moment the redhead took her seat, James leapt from his own, gaining some curious looks from his friends, and walked casually to where the girls and Frank were.

"Evans," James began, ruffling his hair once more. "I was just wondering… would you like to accompany me to Hogsmeade?"

Lily considered his offer for about a millisecond before shaking her head. "No, I don't think so."

The corners of James's mouth turned down, but he instantly pushed them back up. "Are you sure?"

"Quite."

"Come on, Evans."

"I said no, Potter." James's mouth opened again. "_No_, Potter."

But the rejection did nothing to thwart James. Every opportunity he could find, he asked Lily the same question and each time she responded with the same answer.

* * *

Saturday morning was chilly, the biting air immediately assailed the students third year and up that were making their way to the village. Many were surprised by this unusually cold weather. October was obviously a time when the temperatures started to decrease but not at the rate they had this day. It must have only been forty degrees out, forcing the students to bundle up in their heaviest cloaks, scarves and gloves. The Three Broomsticks, Hogsmeade's local pub inhabited by the students, would undoubtedly be filled to the brim. Everyone would be desperate for a foaming mug of butterbeer to get warmed up with just after the walk into the village.

"So," James said as they stepped onto the High Street. He blew into his hands and rubbed them together. "Where to first?"

"The Three Broomsticks?" Peter offered hopefully, wrapping his arms around his torso.

Sirius shot down this idea at once. "No way, do you know how packed that place is going to be? We'd be lucky _not_ to have to drink our drinks pressed up against the windows."

"And with our luck, we'd probably be squished right next to Snivellus," James added, shuddering at the very thought.

Remus pulled his cloak tighter around his body, his teeth chattering slightly. "C'mon, guys, it's cold. Can we just go _somewhere_?" The three equally freezing boys nodded eagerly. "Good, let's just start walking. We'll get warmer that way."

And so they began their trek through the bitter gales assailing the High Street, their breath visible whenever they chose to speak. Yes, this was the first trip to Hogsmeade they'd had in a year, but they were now wishing Professor Dumbledore had thought to cancel it until the climate was more suited towards outdoor treks. As they made their way down the cobblestone street, they noticed that Hogsmeade seemed more crowded than usual. Every store appeared to be filled beyond capacity, leaving next to no room for movement. Every idea they had – going into Honeydukes, Zonko's, Dervish and Banges – was shot down as they realised that, however cold they were, they did not want to be squished against others.

They had turned off the High Street without realising it when a fresh batch of rain fell from the sky. Now they sincerely wished they had gone into some store, rather bunched up than soaked through. The boys peered through the never-ending sheaths of rain and spotted a dingy pub just feet away. Judging from the wooden sign swinging in the wind, they still did not know what it was called. Glancing at each other, the boys shrugged and made a beeline for it. They didn't care that they had no idea where they were going; they just wanted out of the cold. James pushed the door open and gestured for his friends to enter.

Their first impression of the room they were standing in was that something wet and hairy had recently died there and the smell was only made worse by the damp and gloomy weather outside. The floors were filthy beyond recognition and a person could barely see out of the windows. Still, they needed somewhere to sit and this place had available tables. Sirius volunteered to get their drinks, while the others picked a table.

"This place smells," James hissed under his breath.

"What died in here?" Remus asked, keeping his voice quiet as the barkeeper looked their way. The man had probably never seen students in his pub before.

They took a seat at the first wooden table they approached and waited for Sirius to return. When Sirius did reappear, he was carrying four dirty glasses filled with butterbeer. "Cheers," he said sarcastically, holding his filthy glass in the air. "The Three Broomsticks is looking pretty nice right now."

James laughed and clinked his glass to Sirius's. "I'd even brave Madam Puddifoot's."

Sirius pulled a face. "No way, mate, I'd come _here_ over that place." Just then the door to the pub opened and Severus Snape, followed by Evan Rosier and several other Slytherins they did not know by name, entered. "Lovely," Sirius muttered. "The sight just got better."

The Slytherins went to the bar to order drinks, as though they frequently came to this place and did not find it off-putting upon first glance. The boys returned to their drinks, not in the mood to start something with the newcomers. However, it was the _newcomers_ that decided to start something with them.

"Isn't the Hog's Head a bit _rough_ for you four?" Severus Snape sneered as he made his way toward their table.

"It must be," James agreed sarcastically. "If people like _you_ come in here."

"I reckon we should be wetting our pants right about now," Sirius added, feigning a look of the utmost terror.

"What brings you here?" Rosier asked in a low voice.

"We were hoping to avoid you," Remus snarled, his hand clenching his glass so tightly his knuckles had turned white.

"_Afraid_ of us, are you?" laughed a Slytherin they did not know the name of.

"Terrified."

The boys drained their glasses and headed for the street, where the rain was still coming down in buckets. Much to their misfortune, they were followed.

"Running?" Snape jeered loudly over the splattering of the rain on the cobblestones. "I thought the Gryffindor boys were supposed to be _courageous_? Or was that a farce?"

"At least we're not cowards like _Slytherins_," James shot back angrily, turning to walk backwards so he could face Snape.

"Cowards? Hark, who's talking!" shouted another nameless Slytherin.

James shook his head disgustedly and turned back around. He didn't feel like dealing with their inane behaviour today. The visit to the village had been a bust and this was just making it worse. The moment he turned, however, he was struck in the back of the head with a hex and felt his front teeth elongating at an enormous rate. From the shouts of surprise from his friends, he knew he was not the only one hit with a curse. Sirius's eyebrows had started thickening until they resembled black bushes hanging over his grey eyes. Peter's legs were locked together and he overbalanced, toppling forward into the mud. Remus was still standing, but cursing under his breath and gripping his arm with a look of severe pain on his face.

"And you call _us_ cowards?" Remus yelled at the Slytherins, rounding on them. "You attacked us with our backs turned!"

"That's not cowardice, that's strategy," Snape retorted. The Slytherins surrounding him laughed appreciatively. "You do it to me all the time."

Remus gritted his teeth and plunged his hand of his good arm into his robe pocket where his wand resided.

"Oh no you don't, Mr. Lupin!"

The boys whirled around to see a harried and enraged Professor McGonagall rushing at them. What she was doing so far away from the High Street, they did not know. They _did_ know, however, that she had seen the tail end of the spectacle. "_What_ do you think you're doing?" She stopped to catch her breath and her eyes took in the sight before her – James with his teeth almost touching the ground, Sirius who could no longer see for the width of his eyebrows, Peter still lying in the mud and Remus who had paused midway through getting his wand and was watching her with widened eyes.

"They -" Remus began, but his face fell when he turned to where their attackers had been standing just seconds ago.

The Slytherins had taken this opportunity to bolt before Professor McGonagall could get a good look at their faces. The only sign that they had been there at all were their footprints in the mud and, of course, the four injured or misshapen boys.

"We didn't do anything, Professor," Remus assured the Transfiguration teacher. The last thing they needed was to serve detention for two weeks for a crime they had not committed.

"I know you didn't, Mr. Lupin," Professor McGonagall said, her narrowed eyes following the path the prints were going in. "I was merely stopping you from giving me a _reason_ to give you detention."

"Oh," Remus said, completely thrown by this. He bit his lip uncertainly. "Well… err… thank you…?"

Professor McGonagall nodded swiftly and turned her attention to James, Sirius and Peter. With three simple flicks of her wand, James's teeth were back to their normal size, Sirius's eyebrows were now neatly trimmed and the proper length and Peter's legs were no longer locked together and his robes and face were clean of mud. "If you'll excuse me, I have some business to attend to with Professor Slughorn about the behaviour of his students. Good day, boys."

As Professor McGonagall vanished from sight, the boys continued on their way back to the High Street, their hair dripping with the relentless rain. "That was… I don't even know what that was," Sirius muttered, rubbing his eyebrows to make sure they still did not resemble overgrown caterpillars.

"Slimy gits," James snarled viciously. "Attacking us with our backs turned. If that's not being a coward, what is?"

"Just be glad they're gone now," Remus told him, rubbing his stinging arm. He rolled his sleeve up and saw the skin on his forearm was red and irritated. He winced, but continued rubbing the spot. "But you're right, that _was_ uncalled for."

"Take points from Slytherin," Peter begged him.

Remus's eyes narrowed. "Don't worry; when we get back to the castle they're down at least twenty five points."

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Forty Seven: Late Arrival**_

"Push him out the window!" James declared, punching his fist in the air.

"Take his vocal chords out!" Sirius added.

"If you took his vocal chords out, you wouldn't need to push him out the window," Remus commented quietly, rubbing his eyes. "Kern is bearable when he's unable to talk."


	47. Late Arrival

Chapter Forty Seven  
Late Arrival

Needless to say, the Slytherins were not thrilled when they passed by the four giant hourglasses keeping track of the House points and discovered the emeralds in the Slytherin hourglass were a lot less than they remembered. Remus was not feeling at all pleasant when he declared that thirty five points would be taken from Slytherin for cowardly hexing. The Ravenclaws were overjoyed when they saw this, as they had been neck and neck with the Slytherins for the past month and could not find any way of overtaking them. Of course, James and Sirius were now bent on revenge against Snape and his cronies. They spent their time in class hissing out of the corners of their mouths the most outrageous plans, one of which involved turning Snape into an exact replica of Marie Antoinette. When Remus asked Sirius how he knew who the former queen of France was, he shrugged and said he saw a picture of her on the cover of a book in a trash bin outside his house.

James and Sirius went about their planning in their usual giddiness, Peter offering to help them eagerly, while Remus fought between trying to dissuade them from executing this scheme or offering up his own services as well. They had decided to run with Sirius's idea of turning Snape into the French woman who was unfortunate enough to become better acquainted with a guillotine and periodically the three boys could be found poring through the oddest of books, some of which were entitled _Looking for a Fancy New Do and Don't Know the Proper Spell to Achieve it?_ In fact, James, Sirius and Peter were so concerned about this prank of theirs that their homework had mounted to such a staggering rate that they could never hope to catch up with it.

They frequently begged Remus, who was caught up with all of his assignments as he desperately needed something to quiet the arguing voices in the back of his head, to have a look at his essays. At first, he refused, shoving his essays out of sight and into his bag. After a while, however, they became so desperate that Remus was almost inclined to feel bad for them and he gave them just the general idea of what they were supposed to be writing about. It was enough to get them started, at any rate.

"How's your mum?" Lily asked one night as she and Remus patrolled the third floor corridor. Now that Head Girl Cooper was on severe notice from Professor Dumbledore, every Prefect was taking advantage of her, requesting certain parts of the castle to patrol and the nights on which they wished to patrol. Remus and Lily had jumped on the chance to do the same; they did not want to patrol the Astronomy Tower for the rest of their careers at Hogwarts. Cooper was reluctant on doing anything that made Remus happy, but she had no other option.

Remus, who was thinking of how many ways his friends could find his homework (which was locked up under the newspaper lining of his owl's cage), was startled by this question. He blinked a few times before only the latter part of the query sunk in. "Huh? What about my mum?"

Lily frowned, turning her head to the side to get a better look at him. "Is she feeling alright? You haven't been to visit her in a few weeks."

"Oh, yeah, I suppose she is…" Remus hastily tried to remember what they day was. If he was correct, it was the seventeenth of October. He would not have to disappear until the twentieth and, mercifully, he did not have Prefect duties that night. Unlike the other full moons, he was not anticipating this one with dread, more with excitement. Now that his friends could become Animagi, he didn't have to spend the entire night biting and scratching himself.

"Did you do Slughorn's essay on the properties of moonstones?" Lily asked, quickly changing the clearly uncomfortable subject.

Remus grimaced at the memory of it. "Yeah, that took forever to do."

"It wasn't so hard."

"Says Slughorn's favourite student."

Lily's face turned red, though she could not keep the small smile from creeping onto her lips. "I'm not his _favourite_."

"No, of course not," Remus chided her as they rounded the corner. "He just loves fawning over you every single lesson."

"Speaking of Potions," Lily pushed on loudly. "Do you still want me to tutor you this year? I thought you were getting on rather well last year."

Remus nodded vehemently at the offer. "I think I need your help anyway, with the OWLs coming up and all."

Lily grimaced at the mention of the infamous exams. "Don't remind me. I heard from some of the older students that we have to get career advices from our Head of House. D'you know if that's true?"

Remus nodded. His father had told him about it on their way to King's Cross this year. He would have to talk to Professor McGonagall about his possible career options. Remus had wanted to laugh at this, but refrained from doing so when he saw the look on his father's face. Remus knew they were thinking along the same lines: Who would want to hire a werewolf? "Do you have any idea what you want to be?"

Lily shook her head. "Not really, actually. I don't really know all of the different Wizarding jobs. But I heard they give us pamphlets about all the different career choices." She paused and held her lighted wand up, looking around as something rustled around them. The next second she saw an open window and realised it was simply the wind rustling the trees on the grounds. "How about you? Do you know what you want to be?"

Remus shrugged. "No… no, not really. There're too many options to think of right now." That was true; there was a myriad of selections. It was only that every time he thought of applying for a job, the incredulous or horrorstricken looks of his potential employers flooded his mind.

"Well, we have months to think about it, don't we?" Lily went on optimistically, running the light from her wand across the stone floor.

Remus smiled. This was a nice thought, at least. "Yeah, we have months."

* * *

The day of October twentieth seemed to drag on endlessly. It was a Monday and, for the Gryffindor fifth years, this meant double Defence Against the Dark Arts with Professor Kern, who still spoke in his monotone voice, not recognising the dulled expressions on his students' faces to be ones of them being stuck in stupors. They thought there could never be a teacher more boring than Professor Binns; they had finally found a contender. The fifth years sat slumped in their seats as the man droned on about the proper usage of defensive spells. He didn't even bother to demonstrate, which would have been the preferable course of action. Perhaps, if he did show them how to use the spells, the spell would backfire and send him into an irreversible coma and they would not have to listen to him any longer. No, they were not that lucky.

"James," Sirius whispered out of the corner of his mouth. James was sitting with his head in his arms, his eyes half open. Sirius could swear there was drool leaking out of his best friend's mouth and dripping onto the desktop. "James!" Sirius nudged him forcefully.

"What?" James hissed irritably, pushing Sirius's arm away.

"Pinch me."

James blinked. "Why?"

"So I can be sure I'm not having a nightmare."

James shifted in his head, making himself more comfortable. "Pinch yourself." Sirius shrugged and pinched himself, receiving a sharp pain that told him he was indeed awake.

On James's other side sat Frank Longbottom, who was muttering repeatedly, "I want my life back. I want my life _back_." Lily and Alice had abandoned all pretenses of pretending to pay attention and were playing Hangman on a blank sheet of parchment in Lily's unused notebook. Peter was trying to scratch a chip in the wood of his desk out with his quill, knowing that he was not achieving anything by doing this. Remus was on Peter's right side, blatantly asleep and snoring lightly. His fellow Gryffindors were amazed that Kern didn't notice one of his students was ignoring him in such a way, especially since Remus was in full view of the rambling professor.

"And that is why a Shield Charm is best used during a situation where you will need to shield yourself," Kern concluded, still staring at his textbook.

"Really?" Sirius remarked sarcastically, just loud enough for Kern to hear him. He had perked up in his seat and was wearing a look that suggested he was a three year old who had just discovered the joys of ice cream.

"Yes, Mr. Black, that is why." Evidently Kern's sarcasm metre wasn't working properly. Any other teacher would have registered his sardonic voice in a second.

Sirius glanced amongst his fellow classmates, who were desperately trying to keep their chuckles in. "I never would have guessed!"

The bell blared from above them and every student had to restrain the cheers they so wanted to shout. In one swift motion, the entire class had made a break for the door, resulting in several collisions. Once they were safely down the hallway, the mutinous cries began again, and this time Lily was doing nothing to stop them.

"Push him out the window!" James declared, punching his fist in the air.

"Take his vocal chords out!" Sirius added.

"If you took his vocal chords out, you wouldn't _need_ to push him out the window," Remus commented quietly, rubbing his eyes. "Kern is bearable when he's unable to talk."

"Yeah, we saw you were bearing him quite well." Sirius walked ahead of the group and turned around, pointing to the corner of his own mouth. "By the way, Remus, you've got drool on your face. Right about there – you see?"

Remus turned away from the rest of the group and wiped the corner of his mouth on his sleeve. "Git."

"I'm with them on this," Peter said, going into a huge yawn. "That was terrible."

"Do you mean we're going to have to run another teacher out of this school?" Alice asked, a smirk playing on her lips.

"No, someone else will probably do it before we do," James told her, shrugging.

"I doubt it," Lily muttered under her breath.

"What was that, Evans?"

"Nothing."

"What've we got next?" Frank asked.

"History of Magic," Lily informed him, grimacing at the thought.

"This day just keeps getting better." Frank, Lily and Alice continued on to the History of Magic classroom while James, Sirius, Remus and Peter hung back.

"I'm think I'm going to go to the Hospital Wing," Remus said, hitching his bag higher up his shoulder.

Sirius laughed. "Why bother? You can just take another nap in Binns's class, he won't notice."

"Yes, but a bed in the Hospital Wing is a lot more comfortable than a wooden desk." Remus yawned widely. "See you later." And he took off in the opposite direction.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at James, who knew at once what his best friend was thinking.

"We can only help him during the actual full moon, not the day leading up to it."

* * *

There was something about this month's transformation that was unlike any other Remus had ever experienced in the twelve years he was a werewolf. It was painful, of course, when would there ever be a time when it _wasn't_ painful? He couldn't stop the pain of his body morphing out of its natural form. But he was not dreading the night as much as he usually did. His heart still raced, pounding loudly and constantly against his ribcage, but his mouth did not go dry and the sweat that broke out on his forehead was less than usual. He could find no other explanation for this other than the fact that he knew he was not going to be alone tonight. He knew that he would not have to endure the monthly scratches and bites he inflicted upon himself. He knew there was a smaller chance of being incapacitated in the Hospital Wing for longer than he would like.

Remus sat on the dusty, wooden floor of the top floor in the Shrieking Shack, leaning against the wall with his knees pulled up to his chest and his forehead resting on his kneecaps, staring into his lap. His breaths were coming in steadily, not the ragged ones that he had every other month before this one. He knew his friends would be there soon; they had promised they would not wait too long to join him. They were probably hurrying down the grassy grounds under James's Invisibility Cloak at this very moment, getting Peter to prod the tiny knot under the trunk of the Whomping Willow. He amused himself for a moment as he tried to imagine a stag, a large dog, and a little rat travelling under the Invisibility Cloak. Would James and Sirius accidentally tread on Peter? Would James's antlers tear through the material on the cloak? No they weren't stupid enough to dream of transforming under the cloak.

_Full moon's playing tricks with my head._

Remus gazed out the smeared window across the room; it had yet to allow in the trail of golden moonlight, but it was already fairly dark out. The moon would rise soon; it was only a matter of minutes. He looked up at the doorway and saw it was still empty. He wasn't surprised; his friends couldn't very well come in during his transformation, best not to catch a transforming werewolf off guard. Besides, he doubted his friends really wanted to bear witness to it. James and Sirius had _heard_ him transform when they were at his house, but he knew they never actually wanted to _see_ it. He knew he would never want to witness one of his friends have to go through this pain. His breath hitched in his throat when he saw the first shades of moonlight fall into the room. This was it.

The pain that hit was too familiar to surprise him anymore. When he was younger, he used to be constantly shocked at the viciousness of the transformation. Not any longer. It was habit, tradition, by now to take it in shouts rather than silence. Taking it in silence was impossible, anyhow. It was physically impossible for him to keep his jaw clenched shut; his head would implode from the cries he was trying to restrain. His bones snapped and lengthened to accommodate his wolfish side. His green irises flashed and turned to a fierce gold. Hair sprouted over every inch of his body. And then it stopped.

The wolf lay on the cold, wooden floor, whimpering slightly before rising shakily to his feet. The wolf seemed to remember something from his human side – he was not supposed to be alone tonight. There were supposed to be three animals here with him. Instinctively, he looked toward the doorway, only to find that it was still empty. His friends had not arrived yet. No problem; there were plenty of things to keep them from arriving on time. Perhaps Peeves was sending down some chandeliers in the Entrance Hall. That would be enough to keep anyone from getting where they wanted to be. No one wanted to walk around with large shards of glass sticking out of their head.

After fifteen minutes, it appeared to the wolf that his animal friends were not going to show up and he reverted to the old standby – biting and scratching himself to make up for the lack of someone else's flesh. Only, this time, it was with a force he had never before had. He could only attribute this to one thing – his friends had not shown up. They had abandoned him to another lonely night in the Shrieking Shack. Maybe things had not gone as well as they had said the previous month and they chose not to get themselves in trouble again? Maybe they didn't tell him this because they didn't want to upset him? But why give him the false hope? The wolf raised a clawed paw, ready to bring it down across his face.

And he was stopped.

A large, black Labrador was on its hind legs, using its front legs to wrap around the wolf's raised paw. Even as a dog, there was a familiar look of determination in his eyes that showed he was, indeed, Sirius Black. But the wolf, caught up in his rage, angrily threw the dog off his paw. The dog dropped to the floor beside a stag and a rat. The stag reared his head towards the rat and to the back wall, as if, if he were human, he would be jerking his head to tell the rat to go stand by the wall where it was safest. The rat did not hesitate to obey and scurried to the far wall of the Shrieking Shack.

The stag and dog were large enough to keep the wolf under check in case he got caught up in a rage, as he was in now. They really couldn't blame him; they had been so late it must have looked like they were not going to show up at all. But now that they were here, they could hardly let him continue to demolish himself in this violent way. Wolf or not, he was still Remus Lupin when the night ended. He was still their friend whom they had promised to help. The stag and dog revolved slowly around the wolf, holding their breath, waiting for the moment the wolf might let his guard down and make any sudden movements. They had only dealt with a werewolf once, and he had not been upset then.

Now they were faced with an entirely new situation. How do you calm an upset werewolf?

Challenge him to a fight? They could do that, if the werewolf was in his human form. It would be less dangerous that way, though not all together possible at the moment. The dog and stag exchanged glances, both thinking along the same lines. They had to show the wolf, once again, that they were not his enemies. Last time they had no problem achieving this. Then again, last time they had not been late and the wolf had no expectations that he would not be alone for the duration of the night. The dog cautiously approached the wolf, whose jaw was set and whose yellow eyes were alert.

The dog took a step backwards as a low snarled ripped from the wolf's throat. This was not going to be easy. The dog turned to the stag, as if asking if it was wise to continue. The stag made no suggestion that it was _not_ unwise to do so. The dog tentatively stepped forward, each step deliberately calculated so as to not unsettle the wolf further. The dog inclined his head ever so slightly and, when the wolf did not strike out or back away, gently nudged the wolf's left front leg in a manner that said: _I'm your friend; I'm not here to hurt you_.

The wolf recoiled at first and then something clicked in the back of his mind – a human voice that recognised the dog and the stag and even the rat huddled against the wall. The wolf growled, though not in intimidation or ferocity. It was a growl of recognition, a growl that showed he knew who they were and he was not going to hurt them. And with this bit of reassurance, the night commenced on a lighter note than it had begun on.

* * *

"How much homework do we have left?"

"Defence Against the Dark Arts essay."

"Brilliant."

"Transfiguration questions."

"I can deal with that."

"Charms, Potions, and I believe you said you had a Muggle Studies essay to do."

Sirius let out a cry of frustration and banged his forehead three times on the table he was sitting at. It seemed all they had been doing lately was homework. Since they had woken up, they had to go to class, do class work, and then come back to the common room and do homework. It didn't help that they were dead tired after spending the better part of the night running around the Shrieking Shack with a werewolf. Still, the night had been fun once the initial fierceness had passed and they knew they would rather be doing that than writing countless essays.

"This is torture, that's what this is," Sirius declared mutinously.

"Yes, perish the thought. Imagine, teachers doing their _job_."

"I thought you were supposed to be in the Hospital Wing."

Remus had settled himself at their table, sitting between James and Peter. He certainly looked tired with the dark circles under his eyes, but there was a minimal amount of fresh scratches on his face and hands. The scratches that were there could be called just that – scratches. They were not lacerations or gashes seeping with blood as they usually would be. James, Sirius and Peter exchanged quick grins, even with their lateness they managed to keep Remus from inflicting damage on himself.

Remus shrugged, covering his mouth to yawn. "Madam Pomfrey let me come back early."

"Really?" James asked, amazed. "She shooed us out of there earlier, saying you'd be there until tomorrow morning."

"I think she just doesn't know what to do since I have no injuries."

"You'd think she'd be thanking us," Sirius lamented, stabbing his quill at his Defence Against the Dark Arts essay as he thought about what to write.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Because she'll go right up to three boys she doesn't even _know_ are Animagi and say 'thank you so much for giving me less work to do.' That's _very_ likely, Sirius."

"You'd think you'd be a little nicer to us, seeing as how we're helping you."

"I think I am being nicer, I haven't thrown anything at you yet, have I?"

Peter looked up from his half-written Charms essay and looked between the two boys. "He has a point, you know."

"Yeah," James agreed, nodding vehemently. "By now one of you would've thrown something." James scratched something out in his essay and frowned at it before returning his attention to his friends. "I'm disappointed."

"Get over it," Sirius shot at his friend.

The boys returned to their essays, occasionally muttering a swearword or a complaint or a suggestion as to where their professors could go. They had heard the warnings about fifth year from the older students; they had heard them numerous times. _Why_ had they never thought to take them seriously? Was it because the other years had seemed a breeze and had no reason to cause alarm? But they knew that first through fourth year did not involve major exams that would help decide their future. Sure, just throw in some life determining situations and _then_ you would get the boys absolutely terrified.

All around them in the common room were their fellow Gryffindors having fun. Some third years were playing a ferocious match of Exploding Snap. Some fourth years were trading their Chocolate Frog cards. There were also some first years laughing at a pitch that was far too distracting to concentrate in the slightest. Though he was not working at the moment, Remus still found it irritating enough that he went over to the group and threatened to deduct points from Gryffindor if they didn't promptly shut up.

"Okay, I can't concentrate," Peter declared, throwing his quill down.

"Is it because everyone around us is allowed to have fun and we're not?" Sirius questioned dryly, staring at his homework as though there were a fair few violent things he would like to do to it.

"Who says we're not allowed to have fun?" James said innocently.

"The professors, the headmaster, the institution."

Remus, whose head was resting in his folded arms on the table, opened one eye. "The institution?"

"Quiet, I'm having a moment."

"As usual."

"Seriously, we know this rubbish. Why do we have to write a million essays about it?"

"To _prove_ you know it?"

"I said _quiet_, Remus."

"Yes, you did."

"And you're still talking."

"Yes, I am." He smirked and shut his eyes again. The noise in the common room increased again as, from what it sounded like, some sixth years started tossing sweets to the younger students for no apparent reason. He groaned and was about to lift himself up to go tell the older students off, but a cry of female anger told him that Lily had this handled. He did, however, get up to go to the sanctity of the fifth year dormitory. Without his friends there, there would be some peace. Frank never disturbed him when he was sleeping. But, before he went up there, he had to make sure James and Peter were not entirely disappointed.

He had a crumpled piece of parchment in one of his pockets. Taking it out and gripping it in his fist, he called to Sirius.

"What?" Sirius replied, turning to see what Remus wanted, only to receive a ball of parchment to the face. Before he could react, Remus had disappeared up the stairs.

James and Peter laughed. "I feel better now."

"Me too, James."

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Forty Eight: Holidays and Tactlessness**_

"You know, Remus," Sirius began irritably one night when he and James miraculously were not detained.

"No, I don't know, Sirius," Remus said through gritted teeth, knowing what was coming next. He kept his eyes facing downward at his Astronomy homework, his quill clenched so tightly in his hand that it was about to snap in two.

"You're a Prefect; you must have some input on the whole detention thing."


	48. Holidays and Tactlessness

Chapter Forty Eight  
Holidays and Tactlessness

November brought with it heavy snowfall. One morning in the middle of the month, the students of Hogwarts awoke to find the green grounds had vanished completely and were replaced with a clean, white blanket, making it appear as if there had never been grass at all. The fact that it was near impossible to walk across the grounds kept the students from having to go to Herbology, as Professor Grines was not mad enough to force them to take the freezing walk. Professor Kettleburn, as per usual, did not care if the grounds were infested with thousands of feisty gnomes. He insisted on continuing with class. Normally, the fifth years would protest, _loudly_, but they had reached an acceptance. They knew that, come June, they could drop this class forever and only had to endure the madness for a little while longer.

November also brought with it the first Quidditch match of the season and, as usual, tensions were high between the two rivaling teams – Gryffindor and Slytherin. The Slytherins tried, as was their custom, to throw off the best players on the opposing team by hexing them with their backs turned the other way. This tactic was expected and, for the week leading up to the game, the Gryffindor team members were not seen outside of a large group. Of course, the Gryffindors had their fair amount of shots at the Slytherin team. Just three days before the match, James managed to incapacitate the Slytherin Seeker, Regulus Black, in the Hospital Wing because he had mysteriously started growing sprouts from his ears. Unfortunately, Madam Pomfrey fixed him up in a matter of minutes.

The match went on in the usual Gryffindor verse Slytherin fashion – jeering, booing, and crude remarks. The Beaters, as was their tradition, hit the Bludgers with unnecessary force at the members of the opposing team, hoping to dislocate some vital bones – arms, legs, and heads. The crowd was divided unevenly in red and green – three quarters of the stands was a river of red rosettes, while the last quarter was a forest of green. In the end, Gryffindor's Seeker, Robbie Brown, managed to snatch the Snitch right out from under Regulus Black's nose, earning Gryffindor one hundred and fifty points. The game ended in a lopsided two hundred to seventy point victory.

The workload the fifth years were confronted with had grown to an alarming rate. The older students reveled in telling the fifth years tales of the numerous meltdowns, nervous breakdowns, and floods of tears that ensued when they were in that position. Initially no one took the stories seriously, until Emily Fort, a Ravenclaw fifth year, shouted during Charms that there was no way she was going to get a decent career because her head was so thick it shouldn't be considered a head at all. The sixth and seventh years were rather impressed when they found this out. There had not been a situation like that until April for them.

James and Sirius had come up with a way to relieve the stress. They called it Slytherin Hunting. Whenever the workload became too much to handle, they disappeared for an hour or so and, when they came back, there would be a Slytherin with a new body part growing out of them lying in the Hospital Wing. This behaviour infuriated both of the Gryffindor Prefects, but in different ways. Lily was disgusted because, the majority of the time, the targeted Slytherins had done nothing to deserve a hexing. Remus was annoyed because, as a Prefect, he was expected to deal out punishments to troublemakers and he never found it in himself to do it. Lily was the one who handled this area and, because of this, James and Sirius found themselves in detention for three weeks straight.

"You know, Remus," Sirius began irritably one night when he and James miraculously were not detained.

"No, I don't know, Sirius," Remus said through gritted teeth, knowing what was coming next. He kept his eyes facing downward at his Astronomy homework, his quill clenched so tightly in his hand that it was about to snap in two.

"You're a Prefect; you must have some input on the whole detention thing."

"I do… and I think Lily was right to do what she did." He scribbled in the star system he suspected the coordinates he was looking at belonged to.

"You _do?_"

"Bullstrode wasn't doing anything when you gave him those bushes for ears."

"He was breathing," James said under his breath.

Remus's eyes darted swiftly to the messy-haired boy. "Would you like it if I gave you a horn for a nose because _you_ were breathing?" he asked nastily. When he received no response, he gathered up his homework and moved toward the staircase leading to the boys' dormitory. "Don't take advantage of the fact that I'm a Prefect." And he disappeared up the stairs.

Sirius turned with raised eyebrows to James and Peter. "What's his problem?"

James and Peter shrugged. "No idea."

* * *

Even with Remus's warning, James and Sirius did not cease their stress relieving practises. Of course, they made sure word of this never reached Remus's ears. The only times he ever found out were when Lily happened to be the Prefect handling their detentions. She would make sure Remus heard, if only to point out that he should control his friends better. After the seventeenth time Lily chose to tell him this, he decided the best method was to just ignore his friends' antics. Perhaps they would realise they were being childish and give up. He could dream, anyway.

"Hmm," James muttered one morning, frowning at his copy of the _Daily Prophet_.

"What?" Sirius asked, looking over his friend's shoulder at the headline on the front page.

James spread the newspaper out on the table so Remus and Peter could also see. The major story on the front page was about the mysterious disappearance of a Ministry of Magic worker named Evan Podmore. He had gone out for a drink at the Leaky Cauldron the night before and, according to his wife, never returned home. Ministry workers searched through the night for him, through every part of the Ministry they could reach, yet came up with nothing. Not even the slightest trace of his presence or any sign of a struggle.

"Odd," Sirius commented, turning his attention back to his breakfast.

"It's not odd when you think about it," Remus mused, spooning his cereal around in his dish.

James folded up his paper. "What d'you mean?"

"Every year we've been here, something like this has happened."

Peter looked thoughtful for a moment. "He's right, you know."

"Elaborate, please," Sirius requested before shoveling some fried tomatoes into his mouth.

Remus ticked the occurrences off on his fingers. "First year – Professor Flitwick's sister is killed. Second year – Alice's dad is also killed. Third year – a bunch of Muggles die together. Last year – an attack in Hogsmeade. They may not all seem connected, but there's something linking them together. There has to be."

James frowned again, staring into the dregs of his breakfast. "Well, what could connect them? You don't think the same person's doing all of this, do you?"

"Maybe it's a group of people," Sirius abruptly suggested. His friends turned to stare at him. "Remember those people we saw in the Forbidden Forest, the ones with Lucius Malfoy? Who's to say they're not behind it all?"

"But who are they answering to?"

"They never gave a name. They just kept talking about him, calling him _He_, like he was a god or something."

The boys gathered up their books and readied to go to Potions. As they trailed into the Entrance Hall in the direction of the dungeons, Remus brought up something he thought might be connected to the mystery they had read. "Remember that day on the platform, the one where my dad hexed yours, Sirius?"

Sirius nodded with a grimace plastering on his face. He could not help but remember that day with embarrassment.

"He mentioned something about a person named Voldemort."

"Yeah, he did. So?"

"He said… I think… that people like us would pay when Voldemort had his way. He said we'd be the first to die."

Sirius stopped dead in his tracks, leaving Peter to walk straight into him. He rounded on Remus, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "What are you saying?"

Remus appeared unabashed by the way his friend was looking at him. He went on calmly. "I'm saying that maybe this Voldemort has something to do with it all." He glared back into Sirius's eyes, knowing exactly what was going through the boy's mind. "I'm not saying your parents have something to do with it, I'm saying-"

"Save it, Remus," Sirius broke in dismissively. "I know they're involved in whatever's going on. Or if they're not directly involved, they _like_ it, anyway."

"You don't know that."

Sirius laughed harshly, rolling his eyes. "You've met my family, and they don't exactly like _you_, so why are you defending them?"

The boys continued on their way and descended down the stone steps into the chilly dungeon. "I'm not defending them," Remus insisted as they reached the bottom step. The four boys lapsed into silence and entered the Potions classroom to see Professor Slughorn standing at the head of the room, looking as round and jolly as ever. Clearly he had not read the paper that morning. Then again, it would take personal misfortune to truly wipe the smile from Horace Slughorn's face.

Sirius groaned from behind James. "Hide me from him, James."

James shook his head and took his seat in the back of the classroom. "Why? He doesn't hate you."

Sirius nodded fairly; Slughorn's feelings toward him were far from hate. But Sirius would prefer the professor to despise him. Slughorn had made it one of his life ambitions to have a collection of whom he considered to be the prized students of Hogwarts. Everyone knew that it upset the man greatly that both of the Black children were not in his house. He tried constantly to get Sirius to come to his parties, but Sirius had, for the most part, avoided them. "Yes, but that's not the problem."

"Quit your whining, Sirius."

Fortunately for Sirius, Slughorn paid him absolutely no mind during the entire lesson except to commend him on his excellent Draught of Peace. According to Professor Slughorn, the Draught of Peace would be a potion they would be tested on during their OWL examinations. Naturally one of the hardest potions to concoct would be the one they were tested on. The OWLs couldn't come soon enough. The sooner the tests came, the sooner they would be done with.

* * *

"Sweet Merlin, it's freezing out!"

"Why didn't you bring your cloak?"

"Because _James_ decided to rip it clean it two!"

"How did you manage that, James?"

"I didn't do it on purpose!"

Sirius made a noise in his throat that sounded oddly like a venomous hiss. Earlier that morning, James had been trying out a spell and said the pronunciation incorrectly, resulting in Sirius's cloak, which had been hanging innocently off his bedpost, to be torn into two neat halves. Remus and Peter, who had already gone down to breakfast, did not hear about this unfortunate incident until James and Sirius joined them on the grounds later. Unwisely, Sirius did not think to borrow a cloak from any of his fellow Gryffindors who would have gladly lent him one. So now he was left to shiver violently in the freezing late December snow and bitterly chilly air.

"Why didn't you mend it?" Peter asked, balling some snow up in his gloved hands.

Sirius snarled angrily at James before answering Peter's question. "Have you ever tried to mend a cloak that's as badly damaged as mine?"

Remus, who was reading up on Defensive spells for Professor Kern, marked his place. "I'm sure you could mend it. James only ripped it into two pieces. He didn't shred it, did he?"

"He might as well have."

"Just look a spell up!" James insisted exasperatedly. He hadn't _meant_ to ruin Sirius's cloak, it was an accident. He was allowed to make a mistake once or twice in his life, wasn't he? Sirius made the same angry noise in his throat. "Would it make you feel better if I got you a new cloak for Christmas?"

Sirius smirked. "An expensive one." Sirius wrapped his arms tighter around his torso as the temperature dropped another few degrees.

The Christmas holiday break had begun the day before and the castle was all but empty. Almost all of the Gryffindors had gone, with the exception of Alice and Lily, both of whom did not want to go home for the holidays. Lily could not stand to be with her older sister, Petunia, during a time that was supposed to be merry and Alice's mother had a new boyfriend whom Alice did not like and did not want to be around on Christmas. Some of the younger Gryffindors had elected to stay at the castle, wanting to see what it was like during Christmas time. The boys couldn't blame them; the castle was beautiful during this time of year.

Christmas Day dawned with another fresh sheet of snow blanketing the grounds. James and Sirius had the fifth year boys' dormitory up at seven in the morning. They accomplished this by taking a present off the edge of Remus's and Peter's beds and dropping them on the slumbering boys' faces. This broke Remus out of his sleep in an instant and he promptly told his friends where they should go. Peter, on the other hand, was not rattled out of his sleep. Remus and James watched as Sirius crossed the room and promptly sat down on his sleeping friend. Still, Peter remained unmoving and snoring.

"You're not heavy enough to wake up anyone," Remus pointed out, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Then get over here, you two!"

James laughed to himself and lightly sat down beside Sirius on Peter's back. Peter mumbled some nonsense in his sleep, but continued sleeping. James looked over his shoulder at Remus, who was lying with his head on his pillow again, watching the spectacle with an exasperated look on his face. It was too early in the morning for this.

"C'mon, Remus! Help us!" James insisted, patting the small, empty space left on Peter's back.

"No," Remus said simply before breaking into a shuddering yawn.

"Don't you want to be part of the fun?" Sirius jibed cheerfully.

"Because sitting on my friend is so much fun." He pulled his blanket up to his neck. "Good night." And he shut his eyes in a last ditch attempt to get back the sleep he had lost. He vaguely heard James and Sirius conferring with each other in hushed voices and instantly felt dread filling his stomach. If they were talking that quietly, obviously they were conferring _against_ him. That meant only one thing – he was not going to be lying in his bed much longer. Just as he heard their footsteps approaching him, he rolled himself out of bed, landing in a crouch on the cold, wooden floor. He grabbed his wand off his nightstand and pointed it between his two best friends.

"One more step and you'll be breathing through a tube," he threatened, moving his wand from James to Sirius and back to James.

"You would _really_ hex us this early in the morning?" Sirius questioned doubtfully.

"You would _really_ wake me up this early in the morning?" Remus shot back. His friends knew better than to wake him up this early when the full moon was only a week ago. He had still not gotten his energy back.

James and Sirius glanced at each other knowingly. They smartly stepped back, their hands up in surrender. "Sorry, mate," Sirius apologised.

Remus steadily got to his feet, replacing his wand back on the table. He nodded towards Peter, who had remarkably not been disturbed by the noise his roommates were making. "Maybe you'd like to let Peter sleep?"

"What other choice do we have?" James admitted resignedly.

The three boys that were awake took their pile of presents off their edges of their beds and began pulling the wrapping paper off of them.

"Wicked, my parents got me a broomstick servicing kit!" James exclaimed when he opened the gift from his parents. Remus and Sirius looked over to see a black leather box in James's lap. The words _Finest Broomstick Servicing Kit_ were written in elegant, golden, curvy letters across the front. He pulled up the clasps at once, pulled up the lid and began sifting through the contents.

"What's that, Sirius?" Remus asked, gesturing towards the sheet of parchment in his hand. Sirius was sitting on his bed, next to the new cloak James had given him, with his head bent as he read.

"A letter from my great uncle," Sirius replied, turning the sheet over so Remus could see the writing.

"You have family that actually writes to you?" James said, unquestionably surprised.

Sirius scowled and nodded. "Alphard actually has some brains." He turned to the letter so it was facing him and his eyes moved slowly down the page, taking in the words. As he did so, a frown line appeared between his eyes. But when his friends asked what was wrong, he shook his head and tucked the letter out of sight. Instead, he nodded to Remus, who was holding a package in his lap. "What's that?"

"My mum put together a photo album for me," Remus responded, holding the package that Sirius now saw was a book up. "Some pictures I took, some she and my dad took." He flipped through the pages, stopping on some to get a better look at the pictures.

"Nice," Sirius commented, nodding.

Peter woke up eventually, yet seemed to have no recollection of anyone sitting on him. His friends decided this might be for the best; an angry Peter was not fun to deal with on Christmas Day. When he finally _did_ elect to wake up, he traipsed down to the Great Hall with his friends for the much anticipated Christmas Feast. The house tables had vanished and were replaced with a single long table trailing the length of the Great Hall. The professors were already seated, chatting in a raised buzz with each other. The first years who had chosen to stay were seated at the far end of the table, appearing apprehensive at the prospect of being alone with their professors during a holiday.

The boys spotted Lily and Alice seated midway along the table, speaking quietly with each other as they ate.

"Happy Christmas, you two," Sirius greeted, taking the empty space on the bench beside Alice.

"To you guys as well," Alice returned as she selected a roast potato from the golden platter set in front of her.

"Did you guys _really_ sit on me while I was sleeping?" Peter asked for the seventh time that day.

"Yes, not that it made much of a difference," James replied, bitter that their scheme had not worked. "Perhaps if _Remus_ had joined us, you would have woken up with the rest of us."

Peter grinned in thanks at Remus, who nodded once and returned his attention to the sausages in his dish.

"Haven't you two ever heard of an alarm clock?" Lily asked them.

"Yes, we have, actually," James responded brightly. "That's how we usually wake them up. Just chuck the thing at their heads; it works brilliantly!"

They heard Lily mutter something under her breath that sounded distinctly like "_boys_", but they paid no mind to her. Instead, they diverted their attention to the crackers dispersed across the tabletop. Wizard crackers were far more elaborate than Muggle ones. Wizard crackers exploded in rounds of blue and pink smoke and had the most spectacular gifts inside them. Muggle ones only made a short _bang_ and had silly plastic toys inside. James pulled one with Sirius and it engulfed them in a haze of blue and pink smoke and sparkles. When they were visible once more, James was holding a puffy brown hat with a stuffed vulture on the top and Sirius was clutching a scarlet wizard hat. James put his hat on and picked up his spoon.

"Lovely, don't you think?" he simpered in a voice that was a few octaves too high for a boy.

"Oh yes, you'll have all the girls, looking like that," Sirius cracked. He reached forward to spear a bit of roast chicken onto his fork and gave a yelp of surprise when a pearly, translucent head appeared out of the platter. "Nick, you have _got_ to stop doing that!"

The Gryffindor ghost, Nearly Headless Nick, pulled himself through the table until he was floating above the Gryffindor fifth years. "My apologies, I didn't realise you would be there." He turned to the room at large and wished them a Happy Christmas. "Are you six enjoying your day?"

The Gryffindors nodded. "When my roommates aren't trying to make me up against my will," Peter added under his breath. Nearly Headless Nick smiled happily at the group and drifted along the room to chat with the professors.

"One day he's going to appear through my face," Sirius lamented, taking a large bite out of his chicken.

"It would make a nice change from how you usually look," James joked, mashing his potatoes with his fork.

"Stuff it, Potter."

"Snape went home?" Peter asked Lily as James and Sirius continued yelling at each other.

Lily nodded. "He didn't want to, but his mum wanted to see him."

"Can't imagine why _anyone_ would want to see that," Sirius remarked harshly, stabbing his dinner.

Lily shot Sirius a severe look. "You don't know what you're talking about." She set her fork down with a clatter and stepped out into the aisle behind the table. "I'm finished." She gave her friend a pointed look.

Alice looked longingly at the platters, which had just been filled with the most delicious looking puddings. Suppressing a groan, she joined Lily and walked out of the dining hall. Shrugging, Sirius began piling Treacle Tart onto his plate.

"And the prize for the Most Tactless Boy goes to Sirius Black," Remus said loudly.

Sirius choked on his pudding. "What? Me? Tactless?"

"Snape is Lily's friend and I don't think she appreciates you saying things like that about him."

Sirius scoffed. "Like you disagreed with what I said."

"I don't _like_ Snape, but I know better than to make fun of him in front of his friend." He took a large bite his chocolate éclair. "Can't you just give your vendetta a rest when she's around?"

"Why? That's not any fun."

Remus rolled his eyes. The reasoning behind his request was that he was bound to get an earful of it during his next patrol with Lily. The last thing he wanted to hear was her ask him why his friends were the most insensitive slugs she had ever met. His answer – because they're idiots – was no longer working.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Forty Nine - The Whomping Willow Incident**_

Snape visibly flinched, but otherwise stood his ground. "What do you want, Black?"

"I was just wondering what you were looking at." Sirius straightened up and walked to the window, leaning against the sill, looking as casual as he could.

"The grounds, nothing that interests you."

"Oh, but I'm very interested in the grounds. Did you see something different?"

The sneer on Snape's face widened when Sirius asked this question. "Yes I did, actually." He joined Sirius at the window, still making sure to keep the distance decent between them. "Lupin was feeling ill today, was he?"

Sirius's worst fears were confirmed. Snape had seen Remus. But he couldn't let Snape see his reaction to this. "Of course he was."

"Then why isn't he in the Hospital Wing?"


	49. The Whomping Willow Incident

Chapter Forty Nine  
The Whomping Willow Incident

Every member of the staff and every student of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry were convinced that Mother Nature hated them. And it was not just a normal sort of hatred; it was a vehement, relentless hatred. When February rolled around, the skies opened up and dumped four thick feet of snow on the ground, making it physically impossible for any outdoor classes to commence. Even Professor Kettleburn was not mental enough to try and get his students to come down to class when it was a three hour task to get the front doors of the castle open. The students didn't actually _mind_ having to miss a class of Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures, but it was frustrating to realise that they would have to make up the missed work in addition to what they were supposed to learn when classes started up again.

Another thing that had increased besides the bad weather was the strong feeling of enmity between James, Sirius and Snape. Sirius, more than James, seemed to want to cause Snape as much public humiliation as possible. At first, no one could understand why. As time passed still no one outside of the group of four boys knew the explanation for this. Sirius Black was furious with Severus Snape. For months now, James, Sirius and Peter had been sneaking out once a month to visit Remus in the Shrieking Shack and Snape was getting suspicious. He wanted to know what they were up to. He wanted to know why they were sneaking out. Of course, they knew what he suspected – he thought they were up to something illegal. What Sirius didn't realise was that the more he hexed Snape, the more Snape would insist on trying to figure out what they were doing.

Sirius was so infuriated that he would do anything to thwart Snape; he would even cause physical harm that was irreversible. This part of his anger he did not mention to his friends. He knew that they would try to dissuade him. James despised Snape with every bit of his mind and being, but Sirius doubted he would go so far as to do something overly dangerous to him. Remus tolerated Snape as best as he could without drawing a wand and he would not approve of what Sirius wanted to do. Peter… well… Peter just thought it was best not to hurt Snape if he didn't do anything to warrant it. But Sirius wouldn't stand for the Slytherin's constant spying on them. Sirius could only thank Merlin for the Invisibility Cloak.

February's full moon fell on the fifteenth. By this time, the snow had let up somewhat, perhaps by a centimetre or so. Outdoor classes still had not resumed, but the fifth years could care less. Their other professors were making up for this by piling on the homework as though it was free candy. Professor McGonagall alone had assigned them two essays and to practise a Switching Spell. Though this was nothing compared to the obscene amounts of work Professor Kern was handing out. Essay upon essay, the students couldn't take it. The boys had even heard some of the Slytherins seriously plotting mutiny. James and Sirius had finally changed their tactics of hunting Slytherins to relieve their stress and instead simply said that the workload didn't bother them because they knew it all. Every fifth year was reluctant to admit that the two boys were not lying in the slightest. They really _did_ know it all.

On the morning of February the fifteenth, no student was caught working or lounging in the common room, which had been filled with ten disgusting Dungbombs the night before. The students either worked in their dormitory or ran to the library without breathing in the air in the Gryffindor common room. If they had no work to do, the students sought refuge in the Great Hall. The fifth year boys were in their dormitory, only they weren't working in there either. Sirius and James were engaged in a life-and-death battle of Gobstones. James absolutely refused to admit that Sirius was going to win, as Sirius would never stop gloating. Frank and Peter were sitting on either side of the rivaling boys, cheering them on.

"Come on, James!" Peter cheered. "Just get your stupid Gobstones to squirt at Sirius."

"It smells in here enough already," Sirius commented, glaring at Peter.

"Well, if _someone_ hadn't thought to set off those Dungbombs…" Frank let his voice trail away.

"Hey, any of you could have stopped me."

Frank, Peter and James exchanged glances. "No, we couldn't have."

Finally, James grudgingly declared defeat and disappeared to the bathroom to wipe the slime off his face, muttering mutinously the whole way. Frank decided to brave the stench of the common room below. He sucked in his breath until his cheeks were puffy with it and ran out of the dormitory at breakneck speed so he could go down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Sirius and Peter remained sitting on James's bed, wondering what they could do that day.

"We could visit Hagrid," Peter suggested.

Sirius shook his head vigorously, his face contorting at the prospect of going outside. "No way, Pete. We're not going outside unless we _have_ to." He pulled his feet up onto the bed and pulled at a loose thread in his sock. "Besides, we'll be going outside tonight anyway." He glanced over his shoulder at Remus's bed, where its occupant was still fast asleep. The full moon was taking its toll earlier than usual. Every morning over the past week it had been a difficult task to wake him up. He almost took James's eyes out when James tried shaking him awake. Fortunately for the two boys, as though their friend sensed their eyes on him, his own eyelids fluttered open.

Remus yawned widely, his eyes darting around before spotting his two friends sitting across from him. "Morning," he greeted them.

"Morning," Sirius and Peter replied. "How are you feeling?" Sirius added.

"Dead tired."

"You up for doing anything today?"

Remus shook his head. He would have joined them in whatever they were planning to do, but his whole body was rejecting movement in the worst way. "I don't think so."

Sirius nodded understandingly and jumped off the bed, Peter following, as James had just reappeared, his face free of green slime. James greeted Remus when he saw he was awake and joined Sirius and Peter as they went downstairs and hurried out of the common room. Sirius now wished he had not thought to set off those Dungbombs. Unless some divine intervention occurred, the common room would never smell the same way again. As they descended the marble staircase into the Entrance Hall, they spotted a familiar head of red hair standing next to a curtain of greasy, black hair. The head of greasy hair then began moving one way and the head of red hair began moving the other way.

"Ah, Evans," James said pleasantly as he and his friends strolled by Lily. "How are you this morning?"

"Fine," Lily answered shortly. She narrowed her eyes and turned her head to the side. The group was one person short. "Where's Remus?"

"Sick in bed," Sirius told her quickly.

Lily frowned. "That's too bad. What's he sick with?"

Sirius shrugged. "Dunno. Heard him getting sick in the middle of the night. He still felt a bit out of it, so he stayed in bed."

"Oh… well, tell him I hope he gets better."

"Will do. Excuse us, we're hungry." Sirius, James and Peter sidestepped Lily, who was smart enough to know that Sirius Black was not to be denied when he was hungry, and they disappeared into the Great Hall.

"So, what do you think we should do tonight?" James asked his friends as they took their seats at the Gryffindor table.

"I dunno," Sirius said, ladling porridge into his dish. "Maybe we can get out of the Shrieking Shack for once and roam the village."

Peter's eyes widened in terror at the idea of leaving the sanctity of the Shrieking Shack in the company of a werewolf. "Do you really think we can take a _werewolf_ out of the place?"

"Why not?" Sirius spooned the porridge into his mouth, wincing when he realised how hot it was. Taking a swig of cold pumpkin juice, he swallowed with great difficulty. "You've seen him when we're with him; he's calmer and easier to deal with."

Peter still seemed uneasy at the prospect. "Yeah… but we haven't been with him for too long during full moons. What if he goes back to how he used to be?"

James, who was trying to cut a particularly tough piece of sausage, shook his head, wearing a smile on his face. "I don't think he will."

"But-"

"Just relax, Peter. We wouldn't let anything bad happen." Peter did not look at all relaxed, but he made no further assertions involving this topic.

* * *

Remus left to meet Madam Pomfrey at the Hospital Wing at six in the evening. James, Sirius and Peter would wait a half an hour to meet him in the Shrieking Shack. When sixty thirty rolled around, they gathered up James's Invisibility Cloak and left through the portrait hole as Phillip Murphy unknowingly opened it for them on the other side, coming back from dinner. The three boys could not keep the smirks of excitement from creeping onto their faces as they crept lightly down the corridor towards the staircases.

When they emerged into the Entrance Hall, they saw something unsettling. Severus Snape was standing at the end of the hallway, staring out of the window facing in the direction of the Whomping Willow. There was an odd, unidentifiable expression on his face. The boys could tell one thing, however, from the expression on his face – he had seen something he shouldn't have and they knew exactly what it was. What else could he possibly be interested in on the night of a full moon? Madam Pomfrey had long ago dismissed all matters of concealing Remus on these nights, as they had perfected sneaking him out of the castle in his third year. The boys hesitated; they couldn't just continue on their way as though they hadn't seen anything. They certainly couldn't go through the front doors without Snape seeing them open, but there was no one there opening it.

"What do we do?" James hissed nervously. He beckoned his friends back into the shadows as he saw Snape glance up as though he had heard James's voice. He pulled them farther back until they were in the darkened hallway, out of sight. He yanked the cloak off. "What if he doesn't leave?"

Something flickered behind Sirius's eyes, but it went unnoticed by his two friends. In his most casual voice, he suggested, "Go back up to the common room for about fifteen or twenty minutes." He poked his head through the doorway and saw Snape was still standing at the window, peering down into the blackened grounds. "I'll get rid of Snape."

James and Peter did not question Sirius; they knew that he would successfully get rid of Snape and then they could go join Remus. They took the cloak with them and left Sirius to deal with the issue at hand. Sirius shoved his hands in his pockets and walked toward the Slytherin as if he had been heading that way the entire time. Snape did not appear to her Sirius's footsteps, as he did not move at all. When he was directly behind Snape, Sirius bent forward and spoke right into the Slytherin's ear.

"Nice night, isn't it, Snape?"

Snape visibly flinched, but otherwise stood his ground. "What do you want, Black?"

"I was just wondering what you were looking at." Sirius straightened up and walked to the window, leaning against the sill, looking as casual as he could.

"The grounds, nothing that interests you."

"Oh, but I'm _very_ interested in the grounds. Did you see something different?"

The sneer on Snape's face widened when Sirius asked this question. "Yes I did, actually." He joined Sirius at the window, still making sure to keep the distance decent between them. "Lupin was feeling ill today, was he?"

Sirius's worst fears were confirmed. Snape had seen Remus. But he couldn't let Snape see his reaction to this. "Of course he was."

"Then why isn't he in the Hospital Wing?"

Sirius's jaw clenched. He loathed the boy standing before him, he really did. He wanted nothing more than for something disastrous to happen to him. Something dreadful… "How should I know? Maybe Madam Pomfrey decided to let him come back to the dormitory and sleep it off."

The sneer went on growing until it appeared to be the only thing on Snape's face. "I don't think so, Black. I'm not a fool. This happens every month. Every month your friend disappears with some ridiculous excuse about visiting his sick mum or him being sick himself. I don't believe a word of it. He's up to something. The whole lot of you is doing something you shouldn't be and I want to know what it is."

Did Snape never give up? Why was he so invested in their lives? Was his own life so pathetic that he had to live through them? Did he want to get them kicked out of school that much? He had no business spying on them constantly, trying to see what they were up to when they were, in fact, doing nothing wrong. Not morally, anyway. Legally, they had broken quite a few laws. But Snape didn't know that nor did he have any right to know that. Sirius wanted to show him for the last time that he picked the wrong guy to mess with. He was going to pay for all the spying he had done.

"And you're lucky, Snape."

Snape blinked. Clearly he was not anticipating Sirius to say that. "What do you mean, Black?"

"I'm in a good mood tonight. I'm going to show you what we're up to." Sirius couldn't keep the malevolent grin from sliding onto his lips. "You want really to know where Remus goes every month? I'll show you. The Whomping Willow – there's a passageway under it; you can get to it by pressing a tiny knot under the trunk with this massive stick lying a few feet away. Follow the tunnel; it'll take you to a place you'll find terribly _haunted_. You'll find out what Remus is up to. I daresay you'll enjoy yourself. You better run along now. Madam Pomfrey's just gotten back, now's your chance."

Snape hesitated. He knew better than to listen to any instructions from Sirius Black, especially when the boy was feeling so violent towards him lately. But Snape's curiosity was winning over his logic. With one fast glance at his enemy, he dashed down the stairs and out of the castle.

Sirius met James and Peter on the second floor, where they had stopped because Moaning Myrtle was currently flooding every available exit. "Why are you so happy?" James questioned Sirius, pulling the legs on his pants up so they would not get soaked through like his shoes and socks had been.

"I just made Snape a very happy man… thing… whatever he is."

"I don't follow."

Sirius sighed in a way that suggested he was about to explain something to someone who was very slow mentally. "Snape wants to know where Remus goes every month and I told him how to get there. He'll have a nice little surprise waiting for him at the end of the tunnel, won't he?"

Sirius looked at James, expecting him to burst out into laughter or congratulate him on his brilliant scheme. He did _not_ expect the look of utter horror that befell his face. "Sirius, what have you done?" James shouted, forgetting that a professor could hear him and ask what was going on.

"James, what are you getting so upset about?" Sirius didn't understand it; James hated Snape just as much as he did. He should have been thrilled at the idea of the Slytherin meeting an angry werewolf.

"I'm upset because you don't think!"

"I _did_ think. I thought about teaching Snivelly a lesson for spying on us."

"Sirius… you can be such a… such a _prat_ sometimes. Didn't you think about Remus, one of your best friends?"

"What about him?"

"I can't explain this now; I've got to go stop Snape!" James broke into a fierce run, slipping and sliding on the wet floors, but not breaking in his stride. Once he had fully rounded the corner, Sirius turned to Peter.

"_What_ has gotten into him?"

* * *

Snape knew better than to trust any information Sirius Black gave him. This tunnel had no end to it; he was convinced of it. He was convinced Black had just sent him on a wild Kneazle chase. He had been walking for at least ten minutes and had yet to see a sign of this passageway ending. Was Black's plan to have him walk through this place for all of eternity? It certainly seemed like a plan Black would devise. Childish, yet no doubt effective. The only thing that kept him going was the desire to finally learn where Lupin went every month. Every month, since they had started school, the boy had disappeared with inane excuses about visiting sick relatives. Had his family inherited the plague? They were sick that often.

When Lily mentioned earlier in the day that Lupin was sick in bed, Snape's interest had perked up at once. He had been putting it off for the longest of times, but not any longer. He was going to find out what that boy was up to and, most especially, what his friends were up to. If Lupin was really sick, he wouldn't have his friends join him. That wasn't the kind of person he was. He wouldn't risk getting his friends ill with whatever disease he had. They had to be up to something else, something that, more than likely, was illegal. But if that was the case, why had Lupin been escorted out of the castle by Madam Pomfrey?

None of this added up.

Snape breathed a sigh of relief as he felt a gust of cold, musty air hit him. The end was in sight. Perhaps Black hadn't been leading him on, after all. He quickened his step and then stopped. Unless he was very much mistaken, he could have sworn he had heard footsteps behind him, as if he was being followed. Shaking it off, he moved towards the cool air ahead of him. This mystery was coming to an end tonight. He was so close to his destination; he could almost hear the unlawful goings-on in whatever building lay before him. Yet he _could_ hear something – two things, actually. The footsteps behind him and a strange… was that _growling?_ This was too good; those gits must have had a creature in this building and they had sent Lupin to care for it every month.

He entered the rundown, decrepit building and wondered, for the quickest of moments, if he was in the Shrieking Shack. Surely only one building could be this far away from the school and be this disgusting. He certainly could have just walked the length from Hogwarts to Hogsmeade. He took in the room – the broken furniture, the jagged pieces lying uselessly on the creaking wooden floor and the pieces of the walls that were missing. Could Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew be destroying this place? Were they the source behind the alleged _haunting_? But no, Potter, Black and Pettigrew had not started disappearing with Lupin until recently, he knew that much.

The growling he had heard was coming from upstairs. Snape made a beeline towards the staircase, but nearly shouted when a pair of arms wrapped around his torso and yanked him back. Instinctively, Snape jammed his hand in the pocket containing his wand and whipped it out. He broke out of the grip of his assailer and spun around. James Potter. But not the haughty, arrogant James Potter he knew. This was the terrified, pale as death James Potter he had dreamed of seeing so many times. Yet this was for the wrong reason.

"Potter!" he snapped. "What are you doing?"

James's voice betrayed the look in his eyes, but he managed to keep it steady, at any rate. "Snape, you have to get out of here."

"Why? Worried about me exposing illegal activities whatever you and your friends are up to?"

"No. Snape, just listen to me; you _have_ to get out of here."

But Snape wasn't about to listen to him. He shrugged the boy off and returned his attention to the stairwell. Only this time it wasn't leading to a visibly empty room. There was a wolf at the top of the stairs, an angry wolf. And it wasn't a typical wolf. It was a werewolf. The puzzle finally fell into place. _Lupin…_

James's voice was no longer nervous, but furious. "Snape, _get out of here now!_"

When the werewolf began descending the stairs at an alarmingly swift speed, Snape didn't need telling twice. He turned and dashed out of the building ahead of James. James slammed the door shut behind them and the two ran through the tunnel at a rapid speed. When they emerged into the dark February night, Snape rounded on James.

"Lupin's a _werewolf_?"

"Snape, you _can't_ tell _anyone_." James couldn't risk the whole school finding out what Remus was because of the utter idiocy of Sirius and Snape.

Snape's laugh was derisive. Did Potter honestly believe for a second that he would refrain from telling everyone he could? "_Tell_ anyone? Of course I'm going to. What was Dumbledore _thinking, _letting a beast like that into this school?"

"Dumbledore already knows and Remus is _not_ a beast."

"Dumbledore _knew?_"

"Yes, I did know, Mr. Snape."

The two bickering boys wheeled around to see Professor Dumbledore standing before them in the knee deep snow, with Sirius a few steps behind him. James's eyes darted from Dumbledore to Sirius, who was looking incredibly uneasy. If the Headmaster had not been standing between them, James would have hexed his best friend into oblivion.

"You see, Mr. Snape, six years ago when I was looking through the records of the witches and wizards who were eligible to come to school here, I noticed Mr. Lupin was unfortunate enough to be bitten by a werewolf at a young age. No Headmaster would have admitted him into the school for fear of him accidentally inflicting his condition on others. Even so, I felt the need to do something about this. I spoke with his parents and they told me their son had long ago accepted he would not be able to attend school. Yet I saw no reason why he shouldn't and I made the necessary arrangements for him."

Snape said nothing, but the disgusted sneer on his face remained. How could Dumbledore do something so stupid?

"Because of Mr. Black's foolish idea, he betrayed his friend's secret, something he had sworn he would never do. I ask you, Severus, no, I _order_ you to not reveal his secret. Mr. Lupin did not ask for this to happen. There is no reason why he should not continue with his schooling because of one night. If you _do_ tell the nature of his condition to anyone, the consequences will not be light."

"What about _him?_" Snape had finally found his voice. He was pointing at Sirius with an accusing finger. "He almost got me killed!"

"Mr. Black has been dealt with already. He has promised he will never again try to put another student in such danger."

Snape still did not look convinced, but he marched towards the castle without any further statements. Dumbledore turned and followed, leaving James and Sirius alone.

"James," Sirius began beseechingly. He felt so stupid now; he should have realised what he was doing when he told Snape how to get past the Whomping Willow.

"I hope you enjoyed having Remus as your friend, Sirius," James spat. "I hope you enjoyed my trust, Sirius."

"What?"

"Do you honestly think Remus will want to be friends with you when he finds out what you've done? Do you believe for a second that I will ever trust you after the _hell_ you've put us all through tonight? You almost got Snape killed! You almost turned Remus into a murderer! Do you know what you've done?"

"James, I thought… I thought it would be good to get Snape off our backs."

"So you decide to send him to a werewolf who would rip his head off without thinking twice about it? I know you hate him, Sirius, but that's a little extreme!"

"I know it was!"

James took a deep breath, struggling to return to a calm enough stage. "You're going to have to explain this to Remus tomorrow; I will _not_ do it for you. You're going to have to get him to trust you again. Personally, if he decides he doesn't want to trust you anymore, I wouldn't blame him, because _I_ don't trust you."

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Fifty: Stand Off**_

"Yes, that's exactly what I'd like!" Sirius couldn't believe it. Why could Remus stand there and look at him without so much as an accusation in his eyes? He wanted the look to be red with fury. "I want you to just yell at me and tell me how much you hate me!"


	50. Stand Off

Chapter Fifty  
Stand Off

It would have been highly appropriate for the Funeral March to be playing loudly in the background as Sirius made his seemingly unending trek, alone, down the hallway in the direction of the Hospital Wing. He felt as if he was walking into a raging battlefield, on the front line with the colourful and bright jets of spells hurtling at him from every direction. He felt as if he was walking straight into the arms of his executioner, who was holding a rather large and shiny blade. James had not spoken one word to him since the night before, when he said he no longer trusted his best friend. Sirius had done his best to pretend that James's words had not struck a chord within him. Yet they had, they had struck a great chord. James's trust meant everything to him and one stupid move had ruined it all.

He knew what James had told him would be not be nearly as bad as what Remus would tell him when he learned of the previous night's events. It had taken Remus a year and a half to find it in himself to trust his best friends with his secret and Sirius had used the secret against him. Sirius had used Remus as an object of his own angry vendetta against Snape. What kind of friend was he? James would never use someone like that. He felt safe saying that Peter wouldn't either. They would both die before they told someone that Remus was a werewolf. Sirius had hoped that Peter might find it in himself to still talk to him, but he had sided with James on this. Sirius honestly couldn't blame him. If he had been the innocent one and James the guilty one, he would have lost his trust in his best friend as well.

The door to the infirmary was ajar ever so slightly. Sirius paused outside and listened carefully through the crack in the doorway before he decided if he was going in. Madam Pomfrey was not bustling about, muttering like a madwoman as she usually did on the days following the full moons. This meant one of two things. The first possibility was that Remus was not as bad off as Sirius had initially imagined he would be. The second possibility was that she had already dealt with his injuries and was waiting to check on him. If it was the latter, Remus may have been just as bad as Sirius was predicting. Either way, however, he did not have to deal with a nurse who was likely to bite his head off if he said an innocent _hullo_. He slowly pushed the door open and instantly spotted his friend.

Remus was lying with his back facing Sirius, but there was no denying that the mass of sandy brown hair he saw belonged to Remus. The nerves warring within Sirius's stomach calmed a bit at the sight. If Remus was well enough to lie on his side, he couldn't have been hurt too badly to begin with. Then Sirius reminded himself that Madam Pomfrey had been at work for hours already; she would have seen to it that he could lie in the bed comfortably in any position he chose. The nerves returned and this time they brought reinforcements with them. Sirius tentatively stepped lightly over the threshold. He had to do this now if he ever wanted any of his friends to trust him again.

He sat down on the bed opposite Remus and flinched as he saw the red lacerations running down the length of his friend's face. They would, without a doubt, turn into nasty scars. Last night _had_ been brutal for him. The feeling of self-loathing increased tenfold within Sirius. _Why_ was he such a terrible friend? If he was any friend at all, he would have known this would happen. There were dark, purple circles underneath Remus's tired eyes, which were glazed over, giving off the appearance he was not thinking at all, or else was too sick to think a bit. Sirius waited patiently for Remus to notice him, which didn't take long at all. Mere moments after Sirius took his seat, Remus blinked and his eyes darted over to him.

"'Morning," he greeted Sirius tiredly, offering him a small smile.

Sirius's stomach clenched. Remus's voice should have been hard and accusing, not tired and unassuming. Remus should have not been smiling at him, he should have been glowering. "'Morning," he replied hollowly.

Remus must have been too exhausted to notice the deadened tone of Sirius's voice. But he wasn't too exhausted to notice the change from the night before. He knew he had been alone when he shouldn't have been. "Where were you guys last night?" He knew they weren't there because he didn't know anything that happened. He may not remember every detail from the nights when they were with him, but he remembered a fair amount. The fact that he remembered nothing unsettled him. And the way he was battered… that hadn't happened in ages, not since the summer.

Sirius felt himself pale. How could he explain this? How could he say it? "Remus, I did something stupid!" That was it – just jump right into it. Get it over with before the opportunity to chicken out presented itself.

Remus blinked confusedly. It was then that he realised Sirius was alone. James and Peter were nowhere to be found. This was not a good sign. The three boys always visited him together after the full moon. If Sirius was by himself, obviously he had done something to anger the other two. That would explain why he was on his own. A feeling of nausea that had nothing to do with the full moon swept over him. "W-what did you do?"

Sirius struggled desperately with his words. The explanation wanted to come out, but he forced it back in. This could be the moment when he would lose every friend he had made since he started Hogwarts. It would be all because of one stupid prank. One prank that he had done to hurt Snape had backfired so completely. He hadn't hurt Snape at all; he had only hurt himself. And now, as a result, he had hurt someone who had never intentionally done anything to upset Sirius, someone who would never dream of intentionally hurting him. Naturally they had their spats, but they were always in good fun. They had never really gone at it before. Sirius had to restrain himself from laughing – there was a first time for everything.

"I… you know how Snape's always been interested in where you go?" Now why was he bothering to stall? He could just blurt it out and be done with it.

Remus nodded slowly. He knew this, of course. Every time he came in close contact with Snape after a full moon, there was always a look in his eyes that made Remus feel as if he knew what he was up to. Snape always asked questions about why he would disappear from the school once a month. Remus could feel his heart slowly begin to sink. If this was how it started, he was afraid to know where Sirius was going with this. "Yes," he said quietly. He dreaded the next words Sirius would utter.

"I… well, I… I told Snape about it… No, I didn't tell him exactly about it…" The last thing he needed to say to further incriminate himself was that he went and told Snape right out about Remus's lycanthropy. Remus would _never_ forgive him if that was what he had really done. "I told him how to get where you go every month." Sirius really wanted to find a nice big hole and drop into it.

Remus's eyes went alarmingly wide. "You… you _told_…?" He couldn't even complete the question. The only thing that would make this worse would be for Sirius to say that Snape had actually followed the instructions. Sweet Merlin, what would happen if Snape saw him? He would tell Dumbledore. But Dumbledore already knew! Would Dumbledore kick him out of school for carelessness? But it hadn't been his fault!

"I'm so sorry, Remus," Sirius said sincerely, his voice all but begging. He was praying Remus could find it in himself to believe that. He knew forgiveness was out of the question, but Remus had to know that Sirius was truly sorry. "Snape… Snape went down the passage under the Whomping Willow. He… he saw you."

"He… he _saw_…?"

"Dumbledore made him swear not to tell anyone and Snape knows to listen to Dumbledore. He didn't get hurt; you never even touched him. James stopped him just before you could do anything." Sirius hated to see Remus flinch at his words. Sirius could only guess the scenarios running through his friend's mind. Remus did not like Snape, but he would never want to harm him or worse – condemn him to the cursed life he had to lead. Remus firmly believed that no one deserved such a fate.

Remus's voice was so small now that Sirius could hardly hear him. "Was James in on this?"

"No!" Sirius was quick to defend James. Even without his best friend's trust, Sirius would never betray him in such a way. Why hadn't he thought this way last night? If he had, he would not be in this situation right now. "James found out what I did and went to stop Snape. He couldn't stand to think of what would happen to you if you hurt Snape."

"I could go to Azkaban."

Sirius wasn't sure if Remus was telling him this or merely talking to himself. "I know."

"But you told Snape?"

"Yes."

"And he saw me?"

"Yes."

"But he promised Dumbledore he won't tell anybody what I am?"

"Yes."

Remus was silent for a long time, too long for Sirius's liking. If Remus was going to shout at him, he'd rather he just get it over with. He didn't want to wait for the storm. He knew he had no right to have a preference on when Remus would yell, but he couldn't help feeling that way. He couldn't take the not knowing. If Remus wanted nothing to do with him… he could never quite hear that. But he would rather hear it sooner than later. Ever since second year when he saw his friend lying on the floor of the Shrieking Shack, he always felt he had to protect him. He was the worst protector a friend could ask for.

But when Remus finally opened his mouth to speak, he neither yelled at him nor declared his hatred for him. He only said, "Sirius… could you go now? Please? I don't feel well."

* * *

"Remus, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, James."

"Then why are you eating by yourself?"

"I just needed some quiet, that's all."

James sighed exasperatedly and took the empty space on the bench besides Remus. It was two days after Sirius had told Remus what he had done and the two had not said so much as said a word to each other or looked at each other, at least not at the same time. James and Peter had visited both boys on separate occasions, trying to get either to talk about what was going through their minds. Sirius refused to say anything on the subject, and Remus was just as silent. James was furious with Sirius, there was no denying this, but he couldn't stand to watch Sirius and Remus walk in opposite directions whenever they found they were about to cross paths. James knew how badly Sirius felt that he betrayed Remus in such a way. Throughout the three years they spent trying to become Animagi; Sirius had been the most devoted. He was the one who kept pushing them to continue working when they felt as though they were never going to get it. Sirius was the first one to ever see Remus after a full moon and it affected him terribly. He had a protective gene inside of him that would not be ignored.

Sirius was now sitting with Peter at the opposite end of the table as dinner went on. James could see Peter speaking swiftly to Sirius in what seemed like a pleading manner, judging by the expression on his face and the way his hands were folded on the table. But Sirius didn't seem to be hearing any of it; he didn't seem to _want_ to hear any of it. He was shaking his head the whole time Peter talked and was staring determinedly into his plate of uneaten roast chicken. This was so frustrating; neither boy would listen to reason. James knew Remus had every right to be upset with Sirius, but he would usually at least listen to the other person if it was someone who meant anything to him. Sirius would never let someone's deaf ears deter him.

"Look, I know you're mad at Sirius, but-"

Remus shook his head quickly. "I'm not mad at Sirius."

Someone could have just slapped James three times in a row for the look on his face. It was one of complete surprise. If Remus wasn't mad with Sirius, what was preventing him from speaking with him? "Then why won't you talk to him?"

Remus shrugged as he spooned some more vegetables onto his plate, though he doubted they would ever meet his stomach. "I don't have anything to say to him."

"Couldn't you just…?"

"No, I couldn't. I have nothing to say to him. I may not be mad at Sirius, but I can't pretend that I'm not upset with him."

"What's the difference?" To James, being mad and upset with someone meant exactly the same thing.

"There _is_ a difference, James." Remus stood up and stepped out from his bench. "I don't think I have to explain it to you." He glanced over his shoulder to where Sirius and Peter were sitting, Sirius still staring into his dinner while Peter spoke. "If Sirius didn't knowingly do what he did, though I don't know how that's possible, maybe I could forgive him. But… I dunno, James… Just forget about it."

Remus nodded swiftly to James and took his leave. He really wasn't mad at Sirius; he was disappointed in him. More than anyone, Sirius had proved again and again that he did not care that Remus was a werewolf and that he would never used this information against him. Then, in just one night, Sirius changed at all in just _one_ night. He used his knowledge and fed it to the single person who should never hear it. Snape may have promised Dumbledore that he would never go right out and tell someone that Remus was a werewolf, but that didn't mean he couldn't allude to it until the person figured it out on their own and devised ways to use this information against him. Remus knew Sirius hated Snape, and he accepted that fact, but Sirius had taken it one step too far this time.

* * *

The Gryffindor common room was quiet at half past midnight on a Wednesday night. The House Elves had come and gone when they finished their nightly cleaning of the room and it appeared as though everyone had gone to bed. Sirius was inexplicably glad for this. He had been receiving enough curious looks when he returned extremely late from his multiple detentions. No one knew why Professor Dumbledore had issued him such a harsh punishment or why he had taken so many points from Gryffindor and Sirius wasn't telling. As a matter of fact, he was, to some extent, grateful for these late night detentions. It drew him away from the never ending tirade of questions he was not willing to answer.

Where were you? Why are you coming back so late? What did you _do?_ It was enough to drive anyone absolutely mental.

The Fat Lady was not happy with Sirius when he woke her up from a deep slumber, though Sirius didn't know why; she should have been expecting him. For a moment, she almost refused to let him inside, forcing him to sleep in the corridor. Finally, with a decent amount of begging in which he almost had to get down on his knees, the woman swung her portrait open for Sirius and he stepped sleepily into the common room. One hundred points from Gryffindor and countless detentions later, Sirius wasn't sure this would ever end. Not that he was complaining. He would complain if he thought he didn't deserve it, but he knew he deserved every horrible thing Dumbledore threw at him.

Sirius flung himself into one of the empty squashy armchairs; he wasn't ready to go to bed yet. His mind was wired and not keen on shutting down any time soon. Why didn't he just let Snape go on thinking whatever it was he was thinking that they were doing? No one knew Peter, James and he were Animagi. No one had ever seen them sneak down to the Whomping Willow. If Snape had brought it to Dumbledore, Dumbledore would tell him it was nothing he should concern himself with. There was nothing unusual going on that involved the Whomping Willow. But Sirius had to open his big, _stupid_ mouth and tell Snape exactly how to get past the bloody tree and he almost led him to his death.

He didn't care about Snape's death, really. He only cared about it because it would have been brought about by Remus and would doubtlessly lead to his imprisonment in Azkaban and his own mind. Remus would never be able to live with himself if he killed, or simply hurt, someone while he was a werewolf. If he didn't go and viciously murder Snape, he would have bitten him at the very least. If Sirius had learned anything about his friend from the disaster that was the previous year, it was that the thought of contaminating someone terrified him. Remus would believe he had become the second Fenrir Greyback. Sirius could never forget the look of horror in his friend's eyes at the end of the year as he grudgingly explained what had occurred between him and that beast. And if Sirius's plan had succeeded, that look would never leave Remus's eyes.

Why was he so bloody _stupid?_

"Sirius?"

Sirius jumped in his seat and instinctively looked towards the staircase. But no one was there. He then directed his attention towards the couch and saw Remus lying there, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, looking as if he had just woken up. His Charms textbook was open on his chest, marking the page he was on; he must have fallen asleep while he was studying. Sirius braced himself for whatever was coming; he knew he deserved it. Remus was always at the height of his irritability when he was just waking up. If any rage was coming, it would come know. He knew Remus was furious with him and he was only waiting for the outburst. It was killing him that Remus hadn't shouted at him yet. Remus was being _civil_ to him. Sirius didn't deserve that; he deserved Remus's anger to boil over and result in a shouting match.

"Hey," Sirius said quietly. "Sorry I woke you."

"'S okay." Remus sat up straight and marked the place in his book, setting it down in his lap once he had. "I had to get upstairs anyway." He collected his textbook and slid off the couch. "'Night," he said as he passed Sirius.

"Wait a moment." Sirius couldn't take it. He really couldn't. Remus was being so damn _civil_ to him. It was maddening.

Remus stopped with one foot on the first step. He looked over his shoulder. "What?" He didn't feel like talking. He was tired; he just wanted to get to bed.

"_Why_ are you being so damn _nice_ to me?" Sirius asked with a tone of heavy pleading. It was infuriating!

Remus blinked rapidly, trying to keep his vision from blurring as sleep took over. Unless he was mistaken, Sirius _wanted_ him to be mad. "Would you rather I yell at you?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'd like!" Sirius couldn't believe it. Why could Remus stand there and look at him without so much as an accusation in his eyes? He wanted the look to be red with fury. "I want you to just yell at me and tell me how much you hate me!"

Remus sighed, his shoulders tensing as he fought the urge to just fall asleep where he was standing. "I can't do that, Sirius."

"Why the _bloody hell not?_"

"Because I don't hate you!"

Someone could have punched Sirius in the face and he would not have noticed. "You – you _don't?_"

"No. I wish I did." Remus exhaled slowly and leaned against the wall. He didn't hate Sirius; he _wanted_ to hate him so he wouldn't have to feel as though something was missing every hour of his life for the past few days. "There's never been anyone I've trusted outside of my family with my secret except for you, James and Peter. I don't trust people easily, you know that."

"I know."

"And James and Peter have never done anything to make me think I couldn't trust them and, up to a few days ago, you hadn't either."

"I know, and I feel like a complete git for what I did."

"Why _did_ you do it, Sirius? Why didn't you just leave it alone?"

Sirius didn't answer right away. His answer sounded so trivial now that he had had time to think about it. He sounded like a child, but a child wouldn't send someone to a werewolf to get him killed. What he _did_ sound like was a spoiled brat who didn't like that things weren't going his way, so he decided to do something irrational to fix it. He sounded like a fool when he thought about it. He finally settled for the most honest response he could think of. "Because I didn't think."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "And if you _had_ thought about it?"

"Maybe I would have done something else to take my anger out on Snape. I didn't think of what would happen to you if I sent Snape your way."

"You know I can't control myself when I'm like that. I don't know what I do or why I do it." If he had to hurt someone, he wanted to be in full awareness of what he was doing. That way, he may not make that decision. He didn't like hurting people. Snape may have been the bane of their existences, but he didn't have to die because of it.

"I know that, Remus. I _know_ what you could have done."

"Then why did you send Snape to me on the night of a full moon? I can't be the one to get rid of your problems, especially if it involves someone dying!" Remus flinched as he realised the volume of his voice was rising alarmingly; he didn't want to wake anyone upstairs. There would be too many questions he was unwilling to answer.

Sirius was relieved; this was what he had needed. He needed to hear Remus rage at him, tell him how childish he had been and how he had only thought of himself when he made the decision to tell Snape how to get past the Whomping Willow. As much as Remus tried to deny it, Sirius knew there was a part of him, however small, that _was_ angry with him. There was a part of Remus that wanted to hex Sirius into oblivion and back. Sirius knew Remus had to get this out; he always had a penchant for keeping his anger inside and it wasn't good for him. "I should never have done what I did."

"No, you _shouldn't_ have. How would you like it if you were like me and I sent someone your way when you were dangerous and couldn't control yourself?"

"I wouldn't like it."

"Then what made you think _I_ would like it? Do I come off that viciously on the nights of a full moon?" Remus collapsed onto the stairs and stared at Sirius, waiting for an answer. If that was really how he came off on full moons, he wanted to hear it. Sirius could not truthfully think that Remus would normally enjoy ripping Snape limb from limb.

"I didn't think you would like it," Sirius said at once. "No… I thought you might find it funny, but I know that you wouldn't think it was funny now."

Remus planted his forehead in his hand and grinded his teeth together. "You thought I'd find it _funny_? Sirius, when have I ever laughed at someone else because they were in pain? Even if it was Snape, I could have done something much worse than giving him a scratch or two. I could have killed him or bitten him. I know we all hate him, but not even _Snape_ deserves to be a werewolf!"

Sirius was disgusted with himself. He had been a fool to act on a whim the way he had. He had been a fool to _suppose_ for the slightest of moments that Remus would take any pleasure in harming someone else. A hex or two, he would find that funny, but not a werewolf wound. He would never find that funny no matter who had one. He would get sick at the sight of one on someone else, knowing that he had put it there. Sirius was a fool.

Tentatively, he crossed the room and sat down in front of Remus. "You know you don't deserve to be one either."

Remus would not meet Sirius's eyes and instead stared at the carpet to the right of his friend. "But I _am_ one."

"Yeah, but you've never once acted as if you were supposed to be one, that you'd done something to warrant it. You don't even act like, because you are one, you deserve to be pitied. You don't take advantage of others like Greyback! That's why you're taking this so badly, because you could never stand to hurt someone like that!"

"Then why did you almost make me do that? Why did you almost make me turn someone else into a werewolf?"

"Because I'm an idiot! You know that! You've known me for five years; you should know I don't think!"

"Sirius, you think enough to know when something's too dangerous to be done!"

"I know that now and I'll do anything I can to show you how sorry I am that I took advantage of you and betrayed your trust. What do you want me to do?"

Remus finally tore his gaze away from the scarlet carpet and faced Sirius. There was a fierce determinedness in his face to show Remus that he meant every word he was saying, that he was not just trying to appease him. "I just want you to mean it."

"I do mean it. If you can't ever trust me again after this, just trust one more thing – that I will _never_ do anything like this again."

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Fifty One: Grey Hair, Nicknames and The OWLs**_

"No, I just thought it sounded cool." Sirius pulled the textbook out from under Remus's hands and read through the pages. "You have all your notes from first year?" He shook his head; he didn't even have notes, period.

"Yes." Remus snatched the book back.

"I don't even have notes." He pulled the book back away from Remus and continued to peruse it. "Can I copy yours?"

Remus took the book back again and flipped to the page he had been on. "When I'm done with them."

"When will that be?"

"When I'm done." Remus copied down another fact about the Goblin Rebellion he needed to know. "Do James and Peter – err… Prongs and Wormtail - know about these nicknames?"


	51. Grey Hair, Nicknames and The OWLs

Chapter Fifty One  
Grey Hair, Nicknames and The OWLs

"Hey, Moony, did you know you have grey hair?"

"_What_ did you just call me?"

"Moony! I came up with it yesterday."

"Why?"

Sirius sighed in an all-knowing way and took the empty seat beside Remus in the library. The OWLs were coming on fast and every fifth year could be seen inhabiting the library at all hours of the day, right up to its closing and they were being shooed out by the librarian. Once the library was closed, they checked out every book they could carry that would help them pass their exams. It was an amusing sight, for the older and younger students, to see the fifth years exit the library with stacks of books were taller than they were. Remus and Peter were taking their studying seriously, looking over every piece of notes they had. James and Sirius, on the other hand, were comfortable saying that they knew everything they needed to know, though sometimes they could be spotted with their heads bent over their textbooks in the corner of the common room.

"I was _bored_," Sirius said, as though that explained everything. It should have been expected. Whenever Sirius was bored, he usually came up with something completely random to remedy the situation.

Remus nodded as he scribbled down some key facts about the Goblin Rebellion that he needed to know for History of Magic. "Of course." He turned the page of his book and scanned the page, looking for anything else that would help him pass his examination. Finding none, he returned his attention to Sirius. "Is it just me with a stupid nickname or has everyone else gotten one?"

Sirius grinned brightly. "Actually, we all have nicknames. James is Prongs. Peter is Wormtail. I'm Padfoot."

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you?" Remus was now convinced the exams really _were_ getting to his friend. What else would inspire this?

"Think about it; the names all make sense. You're a werewolf, hence Moony. James's antlers look like a bloody fork, so he's Prongs. Peter's tail looks like a worm, so he became Wormtail."

Remus smiled sarcastically. "Let me guess – your feet look like pads, so _clearly _you're Padfoot?"

"No, I just thought it sounded cool." Sirius pulled the textbook out from under Remus's hands and read through the pages. "You have all your notes from first year?" He shook his head; he didn't even _have_ notes, period.

"Yes." Remus snatched the book back.

"I don't even _have_ notes." He pulled the book back away from Remus and continued to peruse it. "Can I copy yours?"

Remus took the book back again and flipped to the page he had been on. "When I'm done with them."

"When will that be?"

"When I'm _done_." Remus copied down another fact about the Goblin Rebellion he needed to know. "Do James and Peter – err… _Prongs_ and _Wormtail_ - know about these nicknames?"

"Oh yeah, I told them about a half hour ago. They liked them." James and Peter had thought the nicknames were a wicked idea and James even went so far as to ask why he hadn't thought of them first. Sirius picked up one of the books that was sprawled across the table and began reading quietly. He was only broken out of this activity by Remus's suddenly sharp voice.

"Wait a moment… did you say I have _grey hair?_"

Sirius was, unfortunately, not joking. Remus did, in fact, have prematurely grey hair. Sirius dragged his friend to the bathroom and showed him exactly what he was talking about. He forced Remus in front of the mirror and he could see the light grey hairs on the sides of his head. This wasn't right, this wasn't right at all. He wasn't supposed to begin growing grey hair until he was in his forties, not when he was sixteen! This couldn't be from the stress of the exams; he didn't see anyone else with their hair changing colour, naturally anyway. He believed a Slytherin third year could be seen with pink hair the other day, but that was only because of a hex. He hadn't been hexed lately.

The only saving grace was that it was not entirely noticeable.

"You have to be kidding me," Remus muttered, plucking out a grey hair and observing it through narrowed eyes. There was no mistaking it; the strand of hair certainly wasn't its usual sandy brown colour.

"It's not so bad," Sirius told him bracingly. He turned his head from side to side and scratched his chin. "It makes you look dignified."

"I don't _want_ to look dignified; I want to look like I'm sixteen, not fifty!"

Sirius's tone was patient. He could see where Remus was coming from. Most boys didn't expect to grow grey hair until they were at least thirty nine. Sixteen was rather early for such a life event. He also knew what Remus suspected this was a result of. "You don't look like your fifty. Trust me, if you did, I would be the first one to tell you."

"Yeah, you would," Remus consented reluctantly. Sirius would gloat for endless hours about how rapidly Remus was ageing. What did this mean? Was he ageing more speedily than a normal person because of what he was? He certainly had to grow up a lot quicker mentally, so it wouldn't necessarily be a shock that he would grow up at a quicker rate physically. But at age sixteen? Sixteen was still so young; he wasn't even a legal adult yet. It should have waited until he was at least seventeen. Unable to find an answer and knowing he had better things to do than stand in the bathroom all day gaping at his new hair, Remus led the way out.

Sirius kept an ongoing torrent on how it wasn't unnatural for a sixteen year old boy to have grey hairs. In fact, Sirius insisted, it meant he was manly. Remus did not bother to mention that the word _old_ should have been in front of _manly_. Yet, Sirius had a point, however warped it may have been. They _were_ growing older and _were_ becoming men. They would be having new experiences and this was just one of them, though Remus did not understand why it had to be his hair turning a few shades lighter.

Just the previous week they had all attended their career advice sessions with Professor McGonagall. Sirius and James had expressed interest in becoming Aurors - Dark Wizard catchers. They needed top grades for this, yet they were sure they would manage it somehow. If becoming an Auror didn't work out, James was lobbying to become the best Chaser Puddlemere United had ever seen. Peter thought it would be nice to work in a shop in Hogsmeade like his father did, perhaps constructing a sweets shop to rival Honeydukes. Remus had been reluctant to express any hopes of any type of career with the Transfiguration professor, though she managed to pull an answer out of him. She was pleased to learn that he wanted to teach, though he didn't know _what_ he wanted to teach.

When they entered the common room, it was to see that James and Peter were sitting in the middle of the common room, their numerous books open on the table they were situated at. Sirius and Remus couldn't help but notice how eerily quiet the common room was; they could barely hear the scratching of quills against parchment. Usually the room was loud and lively. Clearly Lily and the seventh year prefects had instilled their wrath upon the troublemakers, threatening them with everything from detention to disembowelment if they dared disturb the peace. A person had to reach a new level of daftness to disturb Lily Evans when she was studying for something as important as her OWL examinations. They pitied the poor soul who got to her when she had to study for her NEWT examinations.

James looked up when he heard the portrait door open, grinned broadly, and waved his friends over.

The moment James learned that Remus had, for the most part, forgiven Sirius for what he had done; he had welcomed his best friend back with hugely open arms. James still had some difficulty trusting Sirius, but the forgiveness was there and, for Sirius, that was enough. He could work at earning his best friend's trust back; he just wanted James to tolerate his existence. If he didn't have that, he saw no hope of James's trust returning. Sirius and Remus joined their friends at the table and looked to see what they were studying. James was looking over Charms and Peter's eyes were racing across his Potions notebook.

"You think if I fainted during the exams they would automatically pass me?" James asked jokingly when Sirius took the seat beside him.

"Doubtful, mate," Sirius informed him sadly. Then his eyes lit up. "Perhaps if your skull burst open they might make an exception."

There was no more denying it.

It was official – the OWLs were finally upon them.

* * *

The fifth years and the seventh years wandered anxiously around the Entrance Hall in the morning, while the other students went to their classes. The fifth and seventh years eyed the other students jealously, wishing that they could go to their classes without the looming threat of the OWL and NEWT exams. Everywhere in the Entrance Hall students could be seen practising wand movements or else anxiously muttering spells and important facts under their breaths, hoping they would remember them when it came time to write them down. Once or twice, someone's wand accidentally began spouting multicoloured sparks that showered the students surrounding him or her. If this had happened on any other day, it might have been considered funny, but not today. Today no one found anything amusing at all.

The first exam for the fifth years was Charms. They were to sit their written exam in the morning and take the practical bit in the afternoon. No one could honestly say they were too worried about Charms, as long as they could wave a wand the right way and pronounce the word correctly, it was no problem. Though they had the sickening feeling they would have to know the theories behind the spells. The fifth years were soon called into the Great Hall by Professor Slughorn, who was overseeing this examination. The four house tables had vanished between breakfast and that moment, and were replaced with hundreds of single desks that were already supplied with quills, ink bottles, answer sheets and question sheets. At the head of the room was an enormous hourglass propped up on a desk. Once everyone was seated, Professor Slughorn turned over the hourglass.

The first exam had begun.

"That wasn't so bad," James said cheerfully an hour and a half later when he and his friends emerged from the Great Hall, hands splattered with ink from the excessive writing.

"No, it wasn't bad at all," Sirius agreed. "Imagine, all those times we never paid attention in Flitwick's class and we still managed to retain _some_ information." He grinned proudly at the others.

"A miracle," Remus commented quietly, smirking at his friends. "We've still got the practical part in the afternoon, so don't get too excited."

"Don't remind me," Peter begged him. Peter knew the information, yet could not find a decent way to explain it on his answer sheet. He hoped his answers were adequate enough for the person grading it to realise he knew what he was talking about. He wouldn't mind passing with an A.

"Oh, come on, Wormtail, the practical bit's going to be simple," James said encouragingly. "You just have to know how to wave your wand and say some words. How hard can that be?"

Not hard at all. The four boys left the Charms practical examination feeling as though they had done themselves justice. Peter felt that he had done well enough on this part to make up for however badly he had done on the written portion. If he was lucky, he just might have scraped himself an E. The fifth years were inexpressibly relieved that their first exam was over, yet they had no time to express these feelings of joy. The next day they were due to have their Herbology exam in the morning with Astronomy at night, then History of Magic, and the following day they were due to sit their Defence Against the Dark Arts exam. No, they couldn't celebrate having completed one exam at all – they had to go right back up to their respective common rooms and study for the next one.

Herbology was a simple enough exam. The fifth years only had to care for their Fanged Geraniums without having them die within the allotted time of the test. There were no terrible causalities from this exam, save for Frank Longbottom sustaining a bite to his hand from his geranium, who didn't like the way Frank's hand was lying on it. Astronomy was also rather straightforward. All they had to do was write down the coordinates for the planets and constellations on their chart. Defence Against the Dark Arts… the exam itself had been nothing to lose sleep over. Remus felt he had done quite well answering the question about werewolves. It was after the exam where things went incredibly wrong.

James had ensured for himself that Lily Evans would never speak to him again, even if he was the, most clichéd, last man on Earth. Neither he nor Sirius had taken the advice Remus had given them over Christmas – the advice that they should put a halt to their vendetta against Snape whenever Lily was around. Typically, Sirius was bored and the only way James could see to remedy this was to turn Snape upside down and reveal his dirty knickers to the entire school. Much to the dismay of the Slytherin, this drew a crowd around him and he lashed out at James and Sirius and, within moments, none other than Lily Evans.

No one had ever believed Severus Snape was capable of calling Lily Evans, his best friend for reasons unknown, a Mudblood. Everyone had believed wrong. The word floating around the school was that Lily was no longer speaking with Snape and that their relationship had been straining, anyhow. Lily did not like the boys Snape called his friends, yet Snape would not abandon them. Snape calling her a Mudblood was the last of it; she decided she no longer wished to speak with him. Had this occurred at any other time, James might have seen this as a glorious window of opportunity. Clearly Lily must have held a torch for Snape. Why else would she have put up with the greasy Slytherin for so long? This would have been James's chance to prove that he liked her. But not even James Potter was arrogant enough to believe that he had nothing to do with this.

He wasn't upset that Lily was no longer speaking with Snape, but he cared enough about her to celebrate in private.

Their final exam was Transfiguration and then the dreadful burden resting upon the shoulders of every fifth year would thankfully lift. The moment the last spell had been cast during the practical; there was a roar of tremendous relief and utter glee from the fifth years. The OWLs were over. The students left their examiners with broad smiles plastered across their faces; they looked as if they didn't actually care what grade they achieved, so long as the torture was finally over. The Gryffindor fifth years – namely James, Sirius, Remus and Peter – stole to the kitchens and took all the sweets and drinks the House Elves would give them. Much to their satisfaction, the House Elves were in a particularly generous mood; as if they were channeling the relief of the students they were helping.

As James, Sirius, Remus and Peter were stealing back up to Gryffindor Tower, they heard the oddest of shouts. They were on the stairs leading up to the third floor and all of the sudden someone shouted, "I've had it! I've had enough!" Unless their ears were cheating them, the person who had shouted this was none other than Professor Kern. This struck them as strange. Kern had never spoken out of the monotonous voice he had inflicted upon them all year. Curious as to what was going on, the boys stashed their sweets behind a suit of armor and had to jump out of the way as Professor Kern went bolting past them, a look of fury in his eyes. The four boys exchanged bewildered looks. _What_ had happened?

Their answer came in the form of five Slytherin sixth years who were chortling merrily and grimly at the same time, watching the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor's progress. From what the boys could gather, the sixth years had bewitched everything in Kern's classroom to slap him across the face three times if he tried to pick it up. It must have been too much for him when he was slapped by his ancient skull that he liked to show to his third years. Knowing Kern's exit was going to be the stuff of Hogwarts' legend, the four boys followed the Slytherin culprits down into the Entrance Hall, where they witnessed something they had never believed possible.

They had speculated, they had dreamed; they had even drawn a picture of what they suspected it would look like, but they never thought the event would come to pass. Kern was pelting across the Entrance Hall in the direction of the giant double doors and, right before their eyes, broke into the most remarkable black flips they had ever seen. With every two steps, Kern leapt into the air in a full out back flip worthy of a successful gymnast. Students who were coming out of the Great Hall stopped in their tracks, mouths open, eyes widened. They were sure they were losing their minds. They had to have been.

Professor Kern left Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry doing back flips, having been driven out by the Slytherins.

Sirius let out a victorious laugh and punched his fist proudly in the air with a look of inexpressible happiness on his face. "I win! Pay up!"

Grudgingly, James, Remus and Peter dug into their pockets, retrieving whatever gold they had, and dropped it into Sirius's outstretched hands.

* * *

No one was terribly upset about Kern's departure from the school. At most, more than half the school's population was disappointed because they had not gotten the chance to witness his miraculous exit, which had indeed become a legend, right up there with the fleeing of Professor Unter and his banshee love. For once, the Slytherins had done something useful. The boys thought it was nice not to have to drive a professor out on their own; they had better things to do with their time. With the exams finally out of the way, the fifth years were, at last, taking full advantage of the beautiful weather Mother Nature was offering them. The blue skies seemed ceaseless.

Unlike the years before, the boys had no planned summer visits. They had already gone to James's house twice and Remus's and Peter's. They knew it was simply out of the question to visit Sirius's house in London. Mr. and Mrs. Black would not give them a warm welcome. If anything, they would be promptly blasted out the front door and their baggage would land squarely on their backs. With no idea of what they would do over the summer holidays, the boys agreed to come up with a plan within the first week. It would be breaking with tradition to not visit each other over the summer.

"What are we going to do about the full moons over the summer?" Peter asked as they sat in their compartment in the Hogwarts' Express. The green countryside passed by as the train chugged merrily by. Peter was looking at Remus, who was leaning with his forehead pressed against the glass, watching the scenery go by with mild interest.

"Dunno," he told Peter truthfully. He had been thinking about the very same thing the night before as they packed their trunks. He certainly couldn't drag his friends away from their homes for one night just to be with him while he was a werewolf. At any rate, the shed was only big enough for him. He could not hope to fit a stag, a dog and a rat in there with him. Well, he could fit Peter, but he didn't believe it was morally right to have Peter as his only company. Should things go wrong, they would not get Peter back for a few days and it would not be in a manner he enjoyed. Besides, it would only make their parents suspicious.

"We'll come over, Moony," James promised him, frowning in concentration as he tried to figure out his next move. He was playing, and losing, against Sirius in Wizards' Chess. "My dad knows about you; he would know where I was going."

"Yes," Remus agreed. Charles Potter had learned about him years ago, when he had been landed in St. Mungo's because of an allergic reaction to a potion the Healers had given him. The potion was supposed to cure him of his Lycanthropy, but it had only made the full moon worse. Yet, Mr. Potter did _not_ know that his son was an unregistered Animagus. Remus did not think Mr. Potter would like that his son had done something illegal, however noble the reason might have been. A fresh wave of guilt fell over Remus. If Mr. Potter ever found out, it would be Remus's fault. Who knew how Charles would react? Remus couldn't live with himself if it was a negative reaction. "But I don't think he knows you're an Animagus, does he?"

James's frowned deepened. "Good point."

Remus grinned ruefully. "I survived twelve years of full moons on my own; I think I can survive two more full moons on my own."

Sirius grimaced as one of knights was smashed to bits, its tiny voice crying out in surprise and pain. He straightened up and scooped the pieces into the box. "I expect my parents will be thrilled to see me."

Unlike every other year, Sirius was less than pleased to be going home. The boys originally attributed this to the fact that there was no anticipated time for his escape. But, after a while, they thought there was something more to it that he wasn't telling them. They didn't want to probe too deeply yet; Sirius would tell them what was on his mind when he wanted to. So, instead of pressing him on his monotonous voice when he mentioned his parents, James simply continued to claim that he was going to beat Sirius at chess if it was the last thing he did. This lightened Sirius's mood a bit.

The Hogwarts Express came to a screeching halt in Platform Nine and Three Quarters and almost at once the students poured into the train corridors and out into the bright sunlight, eager to greet their families. The boys dragged their trunks across the warm pavement when they spotted the Potters, Lupins and Pettigrews gathered a few feet away from the barrier entrance. The group looked up when they saw the boys approaching them.

"Did you boys drive that poor man out of school?" Hannah Potter accused them at once.

James stopped dead in his tracks, looking at his mother with an insulted grimace on his face. "You think _we_ would drive a teacher out of school? Mother, we _respect_ them!"

Harry Lupin rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "It's never been confirmed, but we _think_ we know who was behind Professor Crane's sudden resignation…" He let his voice trail away knowingly.

Sirius shrugged indifferently. "His room was haunted, that's all there was to it."

"Or someone haunted it _for_ him."

"They've never proven it was us."

Maggie Pettigrew sighed and shook her head exasperatedly. "I'm pleased to see our money is going to a good cause. Our sons are using their knowledge to drive their professors out of the castle."

"Honestly, we had nothing to do with Kern leaving," Remus told the adults seriously. They would take _him_ seriously, the _Prefect_. "Not that we're unhappy about it… but it was some Slytherins who were behind it."

Sirius smiled reminiscently at the thought of Kern's impressive back flips that had earned him fifteen Galleons. "I wish we could have gotten pictures. Remus, why didn't you have your camera with you?"

"I don't carry my camera with me _everywhere_."

"Yet you always manage to have it when I'm doing something embarrassing." Sirius was still smarting from the time when the belt on his pants was not on tightly enough and his pants had slipped to his ankles. Remus now had the perfect form of blackmail – Sirius standing in the middle of the boys' dormitory with his bloomers in the open for everyone to see. He was ready to pull that photo out if he ever needed to. "How's that picture?" he added in an undertone.

Remus smirked; he didn't have to ask what Sirius was talking about. "In a very safe place, ready to come out should the need arise."

"So, what are your plans for the summer this year?" Charles asked the boys.

"Don't know," James told his father. "We'll think of something in a few days."

"Sirius!"

Typically, the group turned to see Mr. Black, Mrs. Black and Regulus. They were standing a decent way away from their son, clearly not wanting to get too close to their son's company, lest they contract some foreign disease from them. "We're going, say good bye," Mr. Black ordered him.

Sirius gritted his teeth, but did not put up a fight. This was very uncharacteristic of him as he _always_ put up a fight when his parents came to get him. "Write to me as soon as you can," he pleaded with his friends.

"Soon as we can," James promised him. Sirius nodded and left to meet his family.

Fifth year was officially over.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Fifty Two: The Runaway**_

"Sirius," Orion acknowledged, nodding his head to the eldest of the Black children.

"Dad," Sirius said shortly, looking at his father for a moment and diverting his attention to the walls.

An odd expression flittered across Orion's face for the shortest of seconds. "Have you seen Regulus?"

Sirius had to restrain himself from smirking or rolling his eyes. One of the first rules in this family was to always show respect to the adults. Sirius let his sarcasm come into play once in a while, but it usually went undetected no matter how obvious he made it. "The prince is downstairs."

Mr. Black's eyes flickered towards the staircase. "You know, you should be more like your brother."


	52. The Runaway

Chapter Fifty Two  
The Runaway

_James,_

_My summer's been okay, I suppose, with the exception that my parents and I had to put Dommie to sleep. His spine was hurt badly after an accident he was in; best we put him down before it got worse. I talked to Peter about coming over to my house, he said he's in. I heard from you, of course, but I still haven't heard from Sirius. I sent him two letters and he hasn't answered to either. I was thinking of writing a third one, just to see if he's alright. Obviously he hasn't written to you either, since you asked me if I'd heard from him. Maybe something's going on at house? Let's give him another day before one of us writes to him again. I told Peter to do the same thing. _

_Remus_

* * *

"Regulus, you're bloody _mental!_"

"What are you talking about?"

"You believe all the rubbish Snape tells you?"

"It's not _rubbish_, Sirius. They're doing this to help the Wizarding World."

"They're helping the Wizarding World by treating Muggle-borns and half breeds like scum?"

"They aren't _like_ scum, they _are_."

Sirius let out a roar of frustration, got out of his seat, slammed the chair into the table, and stormed out of the kitchen of number twelve Grimmauld Place. He marched angrily down the long corridor and up the stairs, out of the basement of the house. This had been the topic of conversation in the Black Family ever since he got back from school. Sirius's parents were inexplicably thrilled that Regulus was taking a deep interest in what those Dark wizards had to say. He was a right little hero in their blinded eyes. Hearing all of this brought Sirius flashbacks of the day he, James, Remus and Peter snuck into the Forbidden Forest, following that group of suspicious-looking Slytherins. Regulus agreed with people like those Slytherins and the man they were answering to - Lucius Malfoy. Malfoy said that _someone_ would not be _un_interested in Regulus.

He was talking about Voldemort.

Sirius's feet pounded loudly on the steps until he was all the way up to the floor where his room was. He snarled furiously as he passed the batty House Elf that was Kreacher. Kreacher's aspirations in life were to be beheaded and join his ancestors on the walls of Grimmauld Place. The mentally unstable elf gloried in muttering insults directed at Sirius under his breath whenever they crossed paths. Kreacher had been completely silent, until he saw the eldest Black child passing him. "There goes my Mistress's ungrateful brat. How he breaks my Mistress's heart."

"Get out of it, Kreacher!" Sirius snapped heatedly. Kreacher dropped into a mockingly low bow, ceased speaking and went on his way. Sirius could hear the elf snicker under his breath as he neared the bottom landing.

As Sirius reached the landing, he saw another one of the last people on Earth he wanted to talk to, yet could not escape from – his father. Orion Black was over the moon that Regulus was fully embracing the ways of the Black Family and loved mentioning this whenever his eldest son was around, hoping that if he mentioned it enough, Sirius would eventually begin to believe it. Orion did not know his oldest son well. Sirius gritted his teeth; he really was in no mood to hear, for what felt like the thousandth time, that Regulus was the _perfect_ son.

Perfect was only a point of view.

Still, he could not hope to avoid his father now. If Sirius wanted to get to his room, he would have to pass the man to continue up to the fourth floor. His sanctuary was temporarily cut off. Sirius took a deep breath; he tried to keep his rising temper under control. The last thing he wanted to do was upset his father, not that he wouldn't thoroughly enjoy it. If he ever hoped to see his sixth year of Hogwarts, he would have to do that much – refrain from irritating his farther. This was the price of not having any plans for the holidays. When were his friends going to write to him? It had almost been a week since they all returned home. He had expected at least _one_ letter.

"Sirius," Orion acknowledged, nodding his head to the eldest of the Black children.

"Dad," Sirius said shortly, looking at his father for a moment and diverting his attention to the walls.

An odd expression flittered across Orion's face for the shortest of seconds. "Have you seen Regulus?"

Sirius had to restrain himself from smirking or rolling his eyes. One of the first rules in this family was to always show respect to the adults. Sirius let his sarcasm come into play once in a while, but it usually went undetected no matter how obvious he made it. "The _prince_ is downstairs."

Mr. Black's eyes flickered towards the staircase. "You know, you should be more like your brother."

Sirius let out a short, derisive laugh. If memory served him correctly, wasn't it usually the _younger_ child being told to behave like the _older_ child? My, how the tables had turned. "You mean I should be friends with boys who have futures I don't want?" He would sooner kill himself than end up like Snape and his cronies.

"It would be a better future than the futures those miscreant friends of yours are looking at."

Sirius literally had to bite down hard on his tongue to keep himself from uttering the swearword he so wanted to utter. "My friends are not _miscreants_."

"Miscreants, delinquents, call them what you will. They are not the type of people your mother and I want you associating with."

Sirius inhaled and exhaled slowly. His father was steadily pushing it. "So you want me to hang around people who hex Muggles for fun?"

Orion took on a tone as if he was explaining something to a five year old. "Sirius, you are better than Muggles, you know this."

Sirius grimaced. "Who says I am?"

"I do."

"Well, your opinion doesn't matter very much to me." Sirius was mad. His father knew that the lowest of blows to Sirius would be to insult his friends and he had done it without batting an eyelash. Sirius had had enough of it; his friends were better people than anyone in the Black Family, with a few exceptions, could ever hope to be. He knew there were Muggles better than he was, better than dozens of Wizards. Just because he could perform magic did not make him better than others; he was not arrogant enough to believe this.

Mr. Black looked as though he had been slapped across the face by Sirius's statement. "You know, Sirius, when you were Sorted into Gryffindor, your mother and I thought we could get past it and we did. But when you started acquainting yourself with boys who have no hopes of becoming successful at anything-"

"No hope?" Sirius repeated incredulously, his fists clenching tightly at his sides. "Do you know the plans my friends have? James is going to work at the Ministry, Remus is going to become a teacher and Peter is going to open his own shop that will become more successful than any other in Diagon Alley or in Hogsmeade. All these things require _brains _and they have them. Do you call that a pathetic future? What have _you_ amounted to, anyway?"

"I'm a successful owner of a store and head of a prominent family." Mr. Black grimaced at himself; he did not feel he should have to justify his life achievements to his own son.

"A store in _Knockturn Alley_." Sirius spat the name as though it was poison building in his mouth. "And the only reason our family is prominent is because half the Wizarding population knows how terrible we all are and they all hate us. No one wants anything to do with us unless they're _like_ us."

Red began creeping onto Orion's cheeks. He was _not_ going to be spoken to like this by his son. He was Sirius's father; Sirius owed him the utmost respect. "Sirius Orion Black, you mind how you speak to me."

"Why? You don't speak to me any better!"

"You're my son; I can speak to you however I want."

Sirius's hands balled into fists again at his sides. So his father could treat him like the dirt under his shoes, but Sirius had to honour him whether he deserved it or not? That was not fair and his father did not deserve honour. "That's it," he snarled. He pushed past his father and dashed up three more flights of stairs until he was safely in his room.

He heard his father following him up the stairs, yet Sirius did not look around once. He was determined to what he had to do. He pushed open the door to his room and stood in the doorway for a moment, his eyes rapidly scanning the room for all of his belongings. Sirius's room was a shrine to all things that would annoy his parents – Gryffindor colours everywhere, pictures of Muggle girls. It was part of the bane of his parents' existences.

Having spotted everything he needed, Sirius got to work. In several quick movements, Sirius had dumped everything he would need into his school trunk and had again pushed past his father, who was standing with his mouth gaping open as he watched his son. Sirius's trunk clunked noisily on the stairs as he hurried down them and towards the front door.

"Sirius, where are you going?" Orion barked. Sirius was leaving. He had packed everything up. His son was _leaving_.

"I don't know, but I'm done here!" Sirius was seething. He was not going to continue living here if he wasn't going to be treated with even the smallest amount of respect. He had put up with them long enough.

"Where are you going to go?"

"Anywhere! I'm _sick_ of having to hear you praise Regulus for being the little berk that he is and telling me I'm worthless because I chose a path different than yours. It's not right and I'm done with the lot of you. You and Mum and Regulus – I'm done with you all! You tell me my friends are scum, you tell me I'm going to get nowhere in life. That's not what a family does! This isn't a family! At least this isn't a family I want to be in and I'm through. I'll make it on my own if I have to, but I am done coming here and calling this place my home. It never was my home."

Orion was enraged. "Sirius, don't you dare walk out that door!" This wasn't how it was supposed to be. Orion had never expected his son to walk out on them. Well, maybe he had thought about it once or twice, but he never expected it to come to pass. He knew Sirius didn't like them, but he never thought his son would take it this far.

"Don't wait up for me." Sirius pushed the front door open and yanked his trunk out with him. Glancing over his shoulder as he swiftly descended the porch steps, he saw his father was too stunned to follow him. _Good_, Sirius thought bitterly, sending his father a glance of the utmost scathing. He lagged under the weight of his trunk; it was much too heavy for him to run with it. It was either him or the trunk and it wasn't going to be him. As he moved farther away from the house, he saw it begin to dissolve as the power of the enchantments his father put on it to conceal it from the Muggles took effect.

Once he was fully past the courtyard, Sirius sat down on his trunk and rested his head in his hands, wondering what he should do next. He couldn't very well sit here all night. The Muggle authorities would ask him what he was doing and they would suspect he had something illegal in his trunk. When they opened it, if they weren't sure it was illegal, they would be sending him to the loony bin at any rate. What else would they do to a teenage boy with a trunk full of spell books and a cauldron? Where could he go, though? Perhaps he should have premeditated his escape from Grimmauld Place and not have acted in the heat of the moment. He would have a plan, anyway.

His thoughts went to his friends.

Remus lived out in the countryside, far away from any cities and especially far from London. His parents didn't want to expose their son during the full moon and it was easier to manage if they were far away from prying eyes. James also lived in the country, much too far to walk. Peter lived on the outskirts of London, but Sirius could not remember exactly where and it would not do to walk aimlessly around the edge of London. He would look extremely suspicious. He needed a mode of transportation.

_The Knight Bus!_

Sirius recalled his parents discussing the ludicrous purple, triple-decker that was the Knight Bus. It ran anytime, anywhere and everywhere, as long as it was not in water. He remembered his mother saying she would rather be stranded in the middle of nowhere with herd of rabid Hippogriffs than ride on that 'monstrous contraption'. That was perfect - something his parents hated. But how did he contact it? He couldn't wait to send an owl and receive a message back. Who knew how long that would take? Then his father's voice filled his mind – _Flag it down with your wand_.

Sirius slid off his trunk, snapped the latches up and pushed the lid up. His wand was lying on top of his other belongings. He snatched it and jerked his wand arm out. Almost at once, a large, purple bus came pelting out of nowhere, causing Sirius to fall backwards in surprise. When Sirius had pulled himself up into the sitting position, he saw that a man who appeared to be in his mid-twenties had stepped off the bus.

"Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard. My name is Earl Jenkins and I will be your conductor on this fine day." He looked down at Sirius, who was staring at him as if he was from another planet. An uncertain frown crossed onto Earl's lips. "You _did_ flag us down, didn't you?"

"Yes," Sirius said, standing up and gripping the handle of his trunk. "I was just surprised, that's all."

"Well, where is it you want to go?" Earl stepped off the last step of the bus and went to pick up Sirius's trunk to bring it on the bus.

Sirius frowned thoughtfully. He did not know the exact location of the Potter's house. He only knew that the house was located somewhere in the countryside. "The countryside," he vaguely told Earl.

"Whereabouts in the countryside?"

"The Potter Mansion."

Earl nodded knowingly. "Ah, I know where they live, given them lifts a couple of times. C'mon, get on." Sirius pulled out some gold to pay and Earl took the allotted amount. The inside of the Knight Bus was decorated with a series of mismatched chairs and tables, some of which were overturned. Sirius took an upright chair that was against the window and pressed his head against the glass. He soon learned this was a mistake. The moment the doors to the bus closed, the bus shot out of the courtyard at top speed, turning sharply around a corner. This viciously quick movement caused Sirius to painfully crack his forehead against the glass and then to topple sideways off his chair and onto the floor.

"Oh, hell," he muttered to himself, shakily picking himself up, only to fall down again when the bus sharply rounded a second corner. Whose horrific brainchild _was_ this? A bus that went anywhere at any convenient time was a nice concept, but not when it was driven by a maniac who didn't know what gear was slow, or if there was even a speed other than fast. After the sixth attempt to sit down on a chair, Sirius decided it was best he just sat on the floor.

Of course, sitting here would mean the dangers of fallen objects.

He hoped the Potters were home and not off somewhere when he arrived. He would be a right site to find sitting on the porch when they arrived home. Then again, he would be a bit of a surprising visitor when he knocked on the door, anyway. He had not heard from them and they had not heard from him in a week. There was absolutely no warning of his imminent arrival. But Sirius was confident that even if they weren't expecting him, they would take him in. There was no way Sirius was going back to Grimmauld Place. He was done with his life there. He was never going to see his parents again if he could help it, not after the way they treated him for the better part of his life.

"Bloody hell!" he shouted as a wooden chair nearly went toppling over his head. He managed to roll out of the way just in time. "Whose mental idea was this? _The Knight Bus is a brilliant idea_, my arse."

After an hour and thirty fallen chairs, the Knight Bus skidded to a screeching halt in front of the familiar Potter mansion. Sirius could see the lights on in several of the windows and he grinned broadly, they were home. Sirius ran off the deathtrap that was the Knight Bus, grabbing his trunk and saying a swift goodbye to Earl. He pulled his trunk up the walkway and when he reached the door, he knocked loudly on it.

Within two minutes, the front door swung open, revealing Charles Potter, dressed in his lime green robes and clearly just coming home from work. Surprised would be an understatement to how he looked when he saw his son's best friend standing on their doorstep with his trunk in hand, a sheepish smile on his face. "Sirius," Charles sputtered. "What are you doing here?"

The sheepish smile on Sirius's lips faltered. He was not sorry that he had done it, but it felt strange admitting that he had done what he did. "I… I ran away from home."

The surprise Charles was experiencing obviously increased at the mention of this. "You _what?_"

"I couldn't take it anymore, so I left."

"Come in, come in." Charles relieved Sirius of his trunk and stepped aside so the boy could walk inside. Charles took the trunk and leaned it against the wall next to the staircase. "James! Come down here, please!" He looked over at Sirius, who was standing uncertainly in the foyer. "Come on, Hannah's in the kitchen."

When Sirius began to follow Mr. Potter into the kitchen, he could hear James's footsteps hurrying down the stairs so he could find out what his father wanted. James probably thought he would in trouble for something, judging by the way his feet hesitated ever so slightly on the bottom few steps. Sirius almost laughed at the look on James's face when he saw it was his best friend standing at the bottom of the steps. "Sirius, what are you doing here?"

"That seems to be the popular question," Sirius commented as James fell into step with him behind Charles. Sirius had no time to privately explain this to James, and besides, he would only have to repeat the information to James's parents, as they would more than likely want to know. It was best just to get it over with in one go. In the back of his mind raced ideas as to what his parents might be doing right now. Certainly Sirius's father had gone straight to his wife to inform her of her son's abrupt departure. Sirius didn't understand why his father had looked so taken aback; the both of them should have seen it coming. They knew their son hated living under their roof. It was only a matter of time before he escaped from it.

They entered the kitchen and Sirius saw Hannah Potter standing at one of the counters, overseeing a set of knives as they chopped away at carrots and celery, while she idly let mashed potatoes flow out of the tip of her wand and into a bowl. There was a plate of roast chicken resting beside the sink. Hannah glanced up when she heard footsteps, thinking it was merely her son or her husband coming to ask when dinner would be ready. She did _not_ expect to see both of them, plus her son's best friend. James hadn't told her Sirius would be coming. She set her wand down and the knives immediately ceased chopping and the mashed potatoes ceased appearing. "What's going on? What's Sirius doing here?"

"Sirius told me he ran away," Charles explained before Sirius could even open his mouth.

"You did _what?_" James demanded of his friend. Would this possibly explain why Sirius had not replied to a single letter he, Remus or Peter sent him? How had he gotten here? He hadn't walked here all the way from London, had he?

Sirius nodded.

"Why did you run away?"

"James, is that really a question?"

James struggled with his words for a moment. "I know you hate your family, Sirius, but I didn't think you were ready to run away."

"Yeah… well… I was."

"What did your parents do?" Hannah asked concernedly. She considered Sirius as one of her own sons. If they had laid _one_ hand on him… her maternal instincts would take control.

"More of what they _didn't_ do."

"And that is?"

"Act like they were my parents."

Mrs. Potter flinched. She could never imagine a household where a child was not loved by his parents. Sirius was a good boy, if not mischievous like James was, and it was his parents' own faults that they could not see this. Sirius had tried to show them this, but they never took the time to look. They had obscured ideas of what was right and what was wrong. They firmly believed families like Hannah's and the Lupins' were on the wrong side, the side that was going to fail, but Hannah believed it was the other way around. The Black's were on the wrong side, except for one of their sons.

"I'm sorry I bothered you," Sirius told them all. "This was just one of the only places I could think of going."

"How _did_ you get here?" James questioned. He could not imagine Sirius taking a Muggle taxi. He wasn't sure Sirius knew how to flag one down or how much currency he would need to ride in one. Besides, Sirius had no Muggle money and he did not have time to go to Gringotts to exchange his Wizard gold for it.

"The Knight Bus."

Every Potter in the room groaned simultaneously. Clearly they were recalling the experiences they had had on the deathtrap. Hannah cleared her throat and removed herself from the counter where she had been standing. She looked at Sirius with concern, as if he was a five year old boy who had run away from home rather than a sixteen year old boy. Yet, Sirius noticed, there was something else in her look. She was looking at him in a way his mother never had – like he was her son. "Well, Sirius, you will have to stay here." Her motherly instincts were taking over, telling her that this was a boy who needed a home and could not go back to the place he had so loosely labeled as one.

Sirius blinked, he must have misheard. Then again, why would he doubt the words of Mrs. Potter? She was a better mother than Mrs. Black, the woman he grudgingly called "Mother". "Thank you," he said sincerely.

"You can have the guest room. Merlin knows we don't use it nearly enough, except for when you boys come over. It's all yours." She diverted her attention to James, who had a large grin on his face as he thought about the prospect of his best friend living at his house. "James, could you help Sirius with his things?"

"Sure, Mum." James stood and disappeared into the foyer where he picked up one end of Sirius's trunk, while Sirius took the other.

"Dinner will be ready in a half hour, boys," she called to them as they disappeared up the stairs.

Charles sat down at the kitchen table and shook his head. "You know, Hannah, it was only a matter of time."

James and Sirius walked awkwardly up the stairs, Sirius glancing over his shoulder so he could see the steps and James peering past the edge of the trunk so he would not accidentally miss a step and bring the both of them down. Once they reached the top landing, they could walk more easily. "So," Sirius began conversationally, "heard from Remus or Peter lately?"

"I got a letter from Remus the other day," James replied, sidestepping a sock that he was sure was his. He made a mental note to pick it up later. He frowned. "His parents had to put his dog to sleep."

Sirius frowned. He had always liked Dommie, he was a friendly dog. "That's too bad. Remus is okay, though, right?" He knew Remus loved his dog, frequently used the Labrador as a pillow, and played with him whenever he got the chance. It would have been hard on him to see the dog die.

James nodded, shifting the weight of the trunk so it rested more on his left arm now, as his right arm was aching terribly. "He says it was for the best. Dommie was old, anyway. Remus had him since he was three, didn't he?"

"Yeah, he did."

They veered off into the guest room, where the door was mercifully open. They heaved Sirius's trunk onto the bed and James rubbed his sore arms. "Merlin, did you pack five cauldrons in there?"

"No! Just the one."

James glared dubiously at Sirius, as though he doubted this, but he sat down on the bed and said nothing more on the subject. He was done with the small talk now; it was time to find out what had really gone on. "So, you finally had enough?"

Sirius didn't have to ask what James meant. "Yes. I couldn't listen to it anymore, so I just left."

"What were they saying?"

"My dad was just going on and on about how I should be like Regulus and that I was friends with people who were going nowhere in life and I was going to the same place because of that and, Merlin, you should have seen the smug look on his face when he was saying all of that rubbish. He was just waiting for me to snap, I know he was. I've heard this a thousand times before, but this was just one time too many and I couldn't take it."

James scowled. He never hated Orion and Walburga Black as much as he did right now. "I can imagine."

"So I left." Sirius slid out of his shoes and propped them against the door.

"Peter lives closer to you, you know," James pointed out. It would have made sense to go to the place that was closest.

"Yeah, but I came here." Sirius shrugged. "Your place is farther away from my parents, too."

"Always a good thing." James crossed to the dresser and picked up the mirror lying on it. Sirius recognised it as the counterpart to his own two-way mirror. "You could have contacted me using this, you know. Remus, Peter and I sent you loads of letters that you never answered."

Sirius cocked an eyebrow. They had sent him letters? "What are you talking about? I never got any letters from you three."

"We sent you at least a dozen and you never replied to any of them."

"That's because I didn't _get_ any letters."

The corners of James's mouth turned downward. The only reasons he could see for Sirius never getting the letters were his owl going astray (which never happened as his owl knew quite well where Sirius lived), the owl being intercepted, or someone taking the letters the moment they arrived at the house. James couldn't think of anybody who would intercept an owl that was just going to a school friend, especially since that letter held no important information. He was quite certain that Remus's owl and Peter's owl knew how to get to Grimmauld place. Though Remus's owl, Jude, had never been to Grimmauld Place before, but Remus said he used the family owl.

That only left one option.

"Padfoot, you don't think your parents were taking the letters we sent you?"

Sirius's frown was thoughtful. His parents' minds definitely thought in a pattern that would lead them to that decision. "They might have been. Bloody gits."

"It would explain why you think we've been ignoring you." James set the mirror down and headed towards the door. "C'mon, let's see how dinner's going."

Sirius followed James out the door. His parents may have snatched every letter his friends had sent him over the week, but that wouldn't happen again. He was never going back to number twelve Grimmauld Place. He had put up with his parents' nonsense for sixteen years and, for the first time in his life, he was truly free of it. He did not have to hear about how Slytherin was the perfect house and Gryffindor was for blood traitors. He didn't have to listen to horrific stories about the alleged pureness of blood. He did not have to put up with hearing that he was not a suitable heir to the Black Family. He had escaped from it all.

Sirius Black had found his real home and it was with the Potters.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Fifty Three: Family Insights and the Oblivious Potter**_

Sirius diverted his attention to the messy-haired boy sitting to the left of him. "James, care to share your scores with us?"

"E's in everything, Outstanding in Transfiguration." James tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. He really was quite proud of himself.

Sirius nodded. "Pettigrew."

Peter, who was in the process of roasting a tiny sausage, looked startled when Sirius suddenly addressed him and almost dropped his stick into the fire. "Some E's, some A's. Oh, and I got a P in Divination."

Sirius overlooked the one bad grade; he had never considered Divination to be a real class anyway. "Very commendable. Lupin?"


	53. Family Insights and the Oblivious Potter

Chapter Fifty Three  
Family Insights and the Oblivious Potter

"Pass me a Chocolate Frog, would you, Wormtail?"

"They're right in front of you."

"No, they're not."

"They _were_; you just kicked the pile towards me."

"Padfoot, get up off your fat bum and get them yourself!"

"Jeez, Moony, when did you become so temperamental?"

The four boys were seated around a small campfire James and Sirius had put up earlier in the evening. Each had a stick in hand and was roasting sweets or sausages over the flame. In the background was music coming from Sirius's phonograph. It was currently playing one of Remus's Beatles albums. Sirius had been spearing Chocolate Frogs, one after the other, onto his stick for the past five minutes and had almost filled up the entire stick. The only problem was that he was out of Chocolate Frogs and he did not feel like bending down to pick up the two that he needed to complete his pudding. Remus and James were watching the exchange between Peter and Sirius with exasperated looks. Finally, Remus had had enough.

"Well, the frogs were three feet away from you. You can't be that lazy," Remus explained calmly, turning over the marshmallow he was roasting. He flinched when a flame grew onto it and attempted to blow it out. When the flame was extinguished and floating away, he said, "So, school tomorrow."

Remus and Peter would be joining the Potters and Sirius on their journey to Platform Nine and Three Quarters. As Mr. and Mrs. Lupin were away on a trip Harry needed to take for his article he was writing, they were unable to bring their son to the train station. They would have taken Remus with them, but the trip fell too close to school starting. He had been staying with the Potters for the past week. Not wanting to be left out, Peter arrived two days after Remus had. The boys were making the best of their time this night, knowing that Hannah would out there soon to tell them to get to bed. Mrs. Potter did not want the boys groggy and holding up the trip the next morning.

"I'll have to arrange Quidditch tryouts during the first week," James lamented, picking off an overly burnt piece of his marshmallow and observing it through narrowed eyes. He didn't truly mind having to do this, but his mind was not in organisational mode yet.

"Nice one, by the way, making captain," Sirius congratulated, spearing his final Chocolate Frog onto his stick with more force than was needed. "Only took four years for McGonagall to appoint you."

"I don't care _when _I got captain, as long as I got it." James pulled apart his marshmallow and ate it, wincing as it burned his tongue. Taking a sip of pumpkin juice to cool it, he went on. "So… OWL scores?"

The boys had been putting off revealing what grades they had received on their OWL examinations. Now seemed as good a time as any to reveal them. Besides, they would figure it out when Professor McGonagall went to work out their schedules with them.

Sirius grinned brightly. He had been quite pleased with his scores. "Exceeds Expectations in everything and Outstanding in Defence Against the Dark Arts and Charms." Sirius bit off the gooey head of the first Chocolate Frog. "I thought I was going to fail History of Magic. I was sure I'd made up half of my answers. Thanks for those notes, by the way, Moony."

Remus grinned sardonically. "Don't mention it." It wasn't as if he had much of a choice. Sirius had all but pulled Remus's hands off in the process of taking them from him.

Sirius's grin grew. "At least I can drop the bloody subject now."

"Lucky," Remus muttered. He desperately wished he was able to say the same thing.

"You know, you don't _have_ to take it."

"McGonagall said I should." He knew the Transfiguration professor had his best interests at heart when she advised him to continue with the dreadfully boring subject, yet it did not stop him from being angry about it. He may have taken notes, but he only did that to keep himself from falling asleep and snoring. Professor McGonagall insisted he continue with any class he was eligible to continue with. Seeing as how he had passed with an Exceeds Expectations in History of Magic, and Professor Binns admitted anyone daft enough to move on with the course, he was stuck with the monotonous ghost for another two years. He honestly wouldn't be surprised if he was the only person in the classroom.

Sirius diverted his attention to the messy-haired boy sitting to the left of him. "James, care to share your scores with us?"

"E's in everything, Outstanding in Transfiguration." James tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. He really was quite proud of himself.

Sirius nodded. "Pettigrew."

Peter, who was in the process of roasting a tiny sausage, looked startled when Sirius suddenly addressed him and almost dropped his stick into the fire. "Some E's, some A's. Oh, and I got a P in Divination."

Sirius overlooked the one bad grade; he had never considered Divination to be a real class anyway. "Very commendable. Lupin?"

Remus swallowed his Chocolate Frog with difficulty, the chocolate scalding the inside of his throat. "Bugger," he hissed. He waited for the burning sensation to die down before answering Sirius's question. "E's in mostly everything, O in Defence Against the Dark Arts, and an A in Potions." Thank Merlin for the help of Lily Evans. Without her, he wouldn't have gotten that high on that exam. He would have been lucky to get a P. Without her help, he would have probably gotten a T for Troll.

Sirius pulled another Chocolate Frog off his stick and studied it for a moment. "Well," he stuffed the frog in his mouth, "beer Mewt sbudems bow."

James pulled a face at his best friend. "Have I told you lately that you're revolting?"

Sirius swallowed. "At breakfast, I believe."

"Well, I'm saying it again."

Sirius flashed a grin. "Thank you, Mr. Potter."

James rolled his eyes. "So, sixth year tomorrow." Remus, Sirius and Peter nodded. James smiled broadly. "I think it's going to be a good one."

* * *

The Hogwarts Express passed through the rainy countryside at a swift pace. The sky was a dark grey, with the occasional crack of lightening illuminating it for mere moments. Violent thunder rumbled in the distance, shaking the ground. The windows of the compartments were nearly impossible to see out of due to the ceaseless rain dripping constantly down the glass and the fog resulting from it. The lanterns in the train had long ago been lit, offering a ghostly orange glow to those who viewed the train passing by outside, though no one did.

The Prefect meeting had just ended and the Prefects were happy to see that the Head Girl this year, a Hufflepuff by the name of Julia Heinz, was not psychotic. In fact, she made it a point to mention that it was not in her nature to blow up at the Headmaster because one of her Prefects was unable to make his patrol. Every head in the compartment instinctively turned to Remus at this point, though none of them, even the Slytherins, looked angry with him. It was due to the first full moon of the previous year that the Prefects had gotten to take full advantage of the former Head Girl. The Head Boy, Gryffindor Oliver Pulliman, was also not as spineless as the previous Head Boy.

"Going to find your friends?" Lily casually asked Remus as they exited the compartment when the meeting had ended.

Remus nodded, yawning slightly. The full moon was exactly one week away. He had to admit, he was rather excited about it. James had promised him they would not be late this time and they had a surprise waiting for him. His excitement was clouding his better judgement, as he knew full well that a surprise devised by James Potter and Sirius Black was usually one that involved several explosions at the same time. "Yeah, they're waiting."

Lily suddenly seemed uncomfortable. She was biting her lip and shifting her weight from left foot to right foot and back to her left foot. "Would… would they mind if I came with you?"

Remus could not stop the stunned expression from sliding onto his face. He never, in his wildest dreams, thought he would ever hear Lily Evans ask that question. "You… you don't want to sit with Snape?" He knew that the Gryffindor and Slytherin had been at odds at the completion of fifth year, but he thought they might have resolved what had gone on, gotten past the bad feelings. Apparently they had not.

Remus felt himself shiver at the thought of the Slytherin, who had been shooting him scathing looks throughout the entire Prefect meeting. Snape was going to use his knowledge of Remus's Lycanthropy as blackmail, that much was obvious. The question was: When was it going to happen?

"No… well, you know what happened." Lily's tone was bitter.

"What about Frank and Alice?" Remus knew that Lily would choose them as her second option. She was friends with them; she could more than tolerate their existence. Sitting with the remaining Gryffindor sixth years would definitely be her last resort.

Lily's smile was exasperated. "They're in that stage of their relationship where it's nauseating to have to sit with them."

Remus nodded knowingly. He knew Frank and Alice had liked each other since second year at the earliest. It was bound to turn into something more. He honestly couldn't blame Lily for not wanting to sit with two love struck teenagers. It would be a sickening and extremely awkward situation. Then again, James was love struck with _her_. Though, Remus had to admit, James was not nearly as revolting about it. But, if Remus was Lily, he would have considered Frank and Alice the lesser of two evils. James was relentless in his pursuit of her. He may have been more bearable about his love interests, but he would not let the matter drop. "Well, sure, I don't think they'll mind."

Lily smiled gratefully and followed Remus down the corridor as they tried to locate the compartment the others had procured. They found it midway down the train and what they saw when they arrived was not good. The door was open and someone Remus distinctly recognised as Regulus Black was standing just inside. As they edged closer to the compartment, they could see through the window that Sirius was on his feet, his face blotched red with anger and his fists clenched tightly at his sides. This was the first time Sirius had come in contact with anyone in his family since he ran away. Tensions were high between the Blacks; it was all bound to boil over sooner or later. Lily sensed the two boys were mad with each other, though she did not understand the extent of it.

"You broke Mother's heart!" Regulus accused Sirius furiously. Regulus's voice was rising with each word he spoke.

Sirius let out a noise that was unmistakably a hiss of fury. He flexed his hands as if he was tempted very much to punch his little brother in the face. "_I_ broke _her_ heart? You can't be serious, Regulus!"

"She hasn't been the same since the summer!"

"Is it because she can't force her stupid ideas on someone else? Is it because she doesn't have me to insult all the time? Because those are the only reasons I can think of that would upset her."

Lily glanced questioningly at Remus, who shook his head silently. This wasn't the best time to explain things. It would come out in the arguement, anyway.

"She never wanted you to _leave_!"

Sirius laughed loudly and derisively. "You mean she wasn't _thrilled_ when she finally got to blast my name off the stupid family tree? I thought she had been waiting for that day all of my life."

"You don't understand, Sirius. You broke her heart!"

"She never had one to break! She never cared about me or how I felt about anything. All of you – you and Mum and Dad – never gave a damn about what I thought! You never cared about what happens to me. You would all just tell me that I was going nowhere in life because I don't believe the rubbish you all buy into. I had enough of it! I left! Get _over_ it!" Sirius stomped forward and pushed his younger brother out of the compartment, forcing Remus and Lily to step back so they would not be drawn into the fray.

"Mother _has_ a heart, and you broke it," Regulus insisted forcefully.

Sirius's voice was low and utterly reluctant when he spoke. His face contorted in a way that suggested he was admitting something painful. "Yeah… well… we're even, then." He stepped back from his brother. "Go find the scum you call friends."

Regulus gave his brother a look of the utmost loathing before he disappeared down the train corridor. When his brother was gone, Sirius exhaled loudly and leaned against the wall, staring at the carpet. His face was still tinged red with the anger that was undoubtedly coursing violently through him. Remus and Lily glanced uneasily at each other, unsure of what to do. Luckily, or unluckily, Sirius spotted them before they had to say anything. He smiled wanly at them and jerked his head towards the compartment.

"You two saw that?"

The two Prefects nodded guiltily.

Sirius laughed bitterly. "Regulus was trying to make me see the _error of my ways_. Bloody prat."

"You… you ran away from home?" Lily asked tentatively. Sirius nodded darkly. Lily bit her lip. She had often heard Sirius complain that he hated his family, but she had just thought it was because something didn't go his way and he was being immature about it. She had never realised his home was so unbearable he would leave it before he had to. From the little she heard, she assumed Sirius didn't leave because of an immature reason. "I'm… I'm sorry you had to do that."

This time, Sirius's smile was not harsh or bitter. "Don't be. I like where I live now better, anyway."

"W-where do you live?"

"With James's family." Sirius straightened up. "Excuse me, the loo calls." Sirius nodded to the two and went off in the direction Regulus had taken moments earlier.

"Sirius ran away?" Lily said to Remus, trying to grasp the concept. She could never picture running away from her home. No matter how much she and Petunia fought, it was one place where Lily felt she was always welcomed. She could never dream of leaving her parents behind. Then again, Sirius was always at odds with his entire family. It must have been too much for him to handle and he just snapped.

Remus nodded sadly. "I just know what you know. I don't know exactly what his parents said to him. He only told James that. But I do know he just didn't want to be there anymore, so he left." Remus finished in a very matter-of-fact voice that told Lily there wasn't any more he could tell her. He beckoned her forward and they entered the compartment, where they found James and Peter sitting in silence. "Hey," Remus greeted them.

The two boys jumped slightly at his voice. "Hey," they replied. James's eyes darted from Remus to Lily and his eyes turned curious. "What brings you here, Evans?"

"I needed somewhere to sit, Potter," Lily responded coolly, taking the empty space beside Peter.

There was a small hint of scathing in James's voice. "And so you didn't go find Snivelly?"

Remus and Peter simultaneously rolled their eyes. James was forever going on about how Lily would never give him a chance. He certainly didn't go out of his way to _earn_ that chance. He was the king of tactlessness.

"You know as much as anyone else about _that_." Lily's voice was too cool now and the two boys in the compartment who were not bothering her sensed that if James kept this up, she would go sit by herself. Remus and Peter were surprised, however, when Lily did not say the fault rested with James. To anyone who had witnessed the spectacle, it would have appeared as if, without James's provoking, Snape never would have called Lily that foul word.

James studied the girl for a moment before diverting his attention to his friends and changing the subject completely. "When are your parents getting home, Remus?"

"Sometime next week," Remus told him as he got up and peered into the luggage rack above his seat to make sure that his owl, Jude, was not hungry. He glanced over his shoulder at James. "They liked Rome, so they decided to spend some time there without having to worry about my dad's article. He got it all finished."

"Good thing the _Prophet_ is paying for it," Peter commented abruptly, though his face reddened deeply after he uttered the words. The boys knew that Remus's parents would not normally be able to afford such a long trip. They had spent a lot of their money on finding cures for Remus's Lycanthropy. They had been doing this for thirteen years and the expenses were finally catching up with them. The latest cure they had looked into was a tiny pill that Remus was supposed to eat during his actual transformation. It did nothing except give him bad indigestion for two days afterward. All of the ridiculous cures never worked, yet they cost almost as much as a house did.

Lily's eyes darted from Peter's red face, to James's accusing stare, and finally to Remus's forced indifferent look. Casually, she tried to break the tension that had just filled the compartment. "Your dad works for the _Prophet_?"

Remus nodded, sitting down again after pushing some owl treats into Jude's cage. "You know that, I've showed you articles by him."

Now it was time for Lily's cheeks to grow pink. "Oh… oh, yes, I remember them. They were quite good." She remembered Remus had, once or twice, brought in newspaper clippings his father had written. The byline was familiar now that she was able to recall it: _by Harry Lupin_. She still wondered why the three had grown tense at Peter's utterance of the _Daily Prophet_ funding one their worker's trips. Companies did that all the time, didn't they? At least she knew Muggle companies did. She couldn't say she was certain the same held true in the Wizarding World. She shook the thought out of her mind; she was not nearly friendly enough with these boys to pry farther than she had.

"Is Sirius okay?" Peter asked.

"He went to the bathroom," Remus told him. "He'll probably be fine."

"Yeah," James agreed. "He'll just go find some Slytherins to hex and he'll be back to his cheerful self."

The corners of Lily's mouth twitched downward at James's statement. Clearly she did not think hexing Slytherins was a good form of catharsis. Instead of reproaching them, however, she simply settled for a less threatening course of conversation. "So, what classes are you taking this year?"

"I get to drop Divination!" Peter cheered, punching two victorious fists in the air. He had been waiting three years to say that, ever since he first saw the tea leaves, and now he finally got his chance. "And History of Magic!"

"I think everyone's been waiting to drop that one." Lily smiled. "That and Care of Magical Creatures." She wondered what Professor Kettleburn's face would look like when he saw all of his former fifth years had dropped his class.

Remus grumbled mutinously under his breath about most boring class known to witches and wizards alike.

"Remus doesn't get to drop History of Magic," James explained to Lily. James sighed and shook his head. "No one said you had to take it, mate."

Remus growled heatedly. "For the millionth time, McGonagall told me!"

"You didn't have to listen to her. Do you honestly think Professor Binns is ever going to leave his post? He died here and he's going to _stay_ here."

Remus's eyes widened brightly in realisation. James was right. He didn't _have_ to take the class. No one in their right mind would continue with that class unless they were clubbed over the head and dragged there and bound in their chair. "You're right… Binns is never leaving. I'm never going to teach History of Magic!"

"Granted, Remus, I bet a lot of students would rather _you_ teach it to them than that brick wall."

"But I'm _not_ going to teach it. Sweet Merlin, McGonagall's _not_ making take that stupid class."

"You'd probably be the only person sitting there." The four looked up to see Sirius had returned to the compartment. He had an ominously grim, yet pleased, look on his face that told them he had done just as James had predicted – he had gone to take his anger out on some unsuspecting Slytherins.

"You know, Sirius," Lily began hesitantly. She had just seen him blow up at his own brother, who was to say he wouldn't snap at her? Yet, she didn't believe that Sirius Black would truly yell at a girl, one that he wasn't related to, anyway. "I don't reckon you should hex Slytherins just because you're angry."

"You don't, do you?" Sirius's tone was unreadable. He sat down beside James and studied Lily as though she was a mildly interesting painting. "Well, that's how I handle my anger, Evans."

"You'd better be careful. If you don't stop, I'll-"

"Take points from Gryffindor?" Sirius challenged, smiling at the thought of Lily taking points from her own house. Lily was too loyal to Gryffindor to do more than make an empty threat. "Stick me in detention? It's not as if I'm not familiar with the place. I've missed doing lines and scrubbing floors, actually."

James snorted.

Lily shot him an angry glare. "It shouldn't surprise me that you find it funny. You never thought twice about humiliating Severus."

James eyed her scathingly. They had come to it at last. "And _Severus_ never thought twice about calling you a Mudblood, so why would you defend him?"

The patches of pink in Lily's cheeks brightened. "He was my _friend_, Potter. You should know about defending your friends."

"You said the keyword, Evans. He _was_ your friend. Even you saw the light and realised he's no good."

Lily's hands clenched over her knees. James was pushing it. "You forced him into calling me a Mudblood!"

James smiled. He was calm and composed. He was not in the slightest shaken by Lily's rising voice. He looked to be enjoying it. "Did I? He had a choice; he didn't _have_ to call you that. You _clearly_ noticed that because you don't speak to him anymore."

Lily leapt from her seat. "I don't have to listen to this," she declared furiously.

"Then why did you come sit and with us? You _obviously_ knew we were going to behave like this. We don't like Snape, Lily. He's not your friend anymore, so I don't see why it should bother you."

Lily made a snarling noise in the back of her throat and bolted from the compartment, slamming the compartment door shut behind her.

James watched her go with an unfazed expression. When he ripped his attention away from the doorway, he looked back at his friends, who were all looking away pointedly. "What?"

Sirius rolled his eyes in his all-knowing manner. "You're so oblivious, Prongs."

"About what?"

"You want her to like you and you insult her former best mate!"

"So? She was the one who decided to stop speaking with him. I didn't tell her to!"

"That's not how girls work, James," Remus pointed out sadly. "And that is _definitely_ not how Lily Evans works." He straightened up in his seat. "She picked sitting with us over sitting with Frank and Alice so-"

"Yeah, well, they're probably revolting to sit around right now."

"-so you probably should have been nicer to her. She could have gone to sit with them, but she picked _us_ to come and sit with. That means she probably thought she could tolerate you long enough."

James groaned. "Why are two guys who have never had girlfriends coaching me on this?"

Remus and Sirius exchanged glances. Then Sirius smirked. "How do _you_ know I've never had a girlfriend?"

"Because you haven't. I think I would know if you had."

"Remember Mary Macdonald?"

"Yeah, she tried out for Quidditch one year." James blinked, comprehension dawning. "Oh, Padfoot, not _her?_"

"Well, she wasn't officially my girlfriend…" Sirius let his voice trail away in a manner that suggested James should work out the rest for himself.

James looked horrified at first, but then he saw the gleam in his best friend's eyes.

"You're yanking my wand, aren't you?"

Sirius let out a barking laugh. "Of course I am!" He cleared his throat. "But, honestly James, just because neither of us has had a girlfriend doesn't mean we don't know how girls work. We all hate Snape, hell I proved that the most out of all of you, but don't berate him like that in front of Lily."

Remus's suddenly loud voice cut into their conversation. "Are you bloody _serious?_"

"Er… Remus?"

"I was telling you that all last year and you never listened to me! Now you're going to tell him that?" Remus looked down at his watch and muttered something about having to patrol the corridors. He stormed from the compartment and slammed the door shut.

Sirius chuckled once he was gone and turned to James. "I love it when he gets mad like that."

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Fifty Four: Twisted Offers**_

Who knew how long it would take before he held something against Lily, Peter, Alice and Frank? Well, it would take almost no time at all for him to despise Lily, as she was a Muggle-born.

"And it doesn't bother you when he looks at you like you're going to sink your teeth into him?" Sirius questioned doubtfully. Remus disliked any stereotype thrown at him because of his Lycanthropy. Sirius knew it had to bother him.

Remus set his bag down on the table and calmly sat down. "Personally, I think he would taste disgusting, so I would never do it. So, no, it doesn't bother me."

"I still think he's pure evil," Sirius lamented stubbornly, dropping into his seat and glaring crossly at the empty golden platter in front of him.

"Going to blame your lunch on your problems, are you?" James chided, sitting down beside Sirius and looking for something to eat and take his mind off the horrific class they had just experienced.


	54. Twisted Offers

Chapter Fifty Four  
Twisted Offers

A stag and a dog flanked either side of an unusually calm and docile werewolf. They walked beside it in such a way that it made it apparent that they were keeping the wolf in check. A rat scurried along the cobblestone street behind the three animals in front of him, carefully avoiding getting stepped on. It was very late at night, nearly midnight, and the streets were only lit by the glow of the full moon. There was not a single soul out on the streets of Hogsmeade. This suited the four animals just fine; they would rather not be spotted on this night. They had never attempted this before – leaving the Shrieking Shack on the night of a full moon with a full grown werewolf that was capable of taking down several villagers. Yet the werewolf was not dangerous under the strong influence of the stag, dog and rat. In fact, with these three animals, the werewolf was able to retain his human thoughts. The wolf was able to realise that he could not hurt a person out on the street. Somewhere inside the fur and the claws, Remus Lupin still existed.

The white glow of the full moon reflected off the darkened glass windows of the different buildings the group prowled past. The paws, hooves and miniscule feet of the animals padded and clicked lightly on the cobblestones, resulting in a rhythmic air to the night. With the street completely deserted, the four animals felt they could do anything they like and not be caught. The only thing holding them back was that this was the first time they had ventured past the confining walls of the Shrieking Shack. They had hardly perfected their prowl through Hogsmeade on the nights of a full moon. They would save whatever they had in mind for next month.

So instead the group settled for taking in the sights. They trotted past the empty Three Broomsticks, Honeydukes, the post office, and Zonko's Joke Shop. The black Labrador made a mental note of an idea to propose to his friends as he passed these shops. If there was a secret passage under the Whomping Willow, even if it was manmade, who was to say there weren't others leading to Hogsmeade? Hogwarts was full of secrets; the Room of Requirement was the perfect example. There _had _to be more. They would have to scour the castle meticulously, however, and who knew how long that would take? Thankfully, there were no terrifying and life-determining exams waiting for them in June. They had the whole year to do this.

A growl suddenly ripped from the throat of the werewolf and almost at once the dog and stag were on guard. The last thing they needed was for their werewolf friend to get agitated in the middle of a Hogsmeade street and scramble out of their reach. But the werewolf didn't spring at them and run off. His front right paw twitched and the stag, dog and rat saw the wolf had merely stepped on a particularly sharp rock. The wolf shook it out and continued on his way as though nothing had happened. The dog and stag relaxed and fell back into place with the werewolf, ready to help again if the need arose. The dog barked happily and ran forward, carefully avoiding trampling on the rat. He wheeled around and gazed at his companions in a way that suggested he wanted them to run with him.

The werewolf and stag quickened their pace and the rat scurried along behind the group. The night was theirs.

* * *

"He's Crane come back to haunt us!"

"He's Crane trying to get revenge on us for what we did when we were eleven!"

"For Crane to come back and haunt us, he'd have to be _dead_ first."

"Merlin, Moony, do you always have to be the realist?"

"When I see you two becoming hysterical, yes I have to be."

Sirius and James slammed their bags angrily onto the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall and rounded on Remus, who was a few steps behind them with Peter at his side. They had just come out of their Defence Against the Dark Arts class with the new professor, Professor Finely. They had only been in his class three times and it took only that short amount of time to convince them that this man was a second version of Professor Crane, except, unbelievably, _much_ worse. He was not teaching them to protect themselves against the Dark Arts; he was teaching them to _embrace_ the Dark Arts. Worst of all, he was holding personal vendettas against each student. He had already made up his vendettas against Remus, Sirius and James. James was a blood traitor. Sirius ran away from the prominent Black Family. Remus was a bloodthirsty monster once a month.

Who knew how long it would take before he held something against Lily, Peter, Alice and Frank? Well, it would take almost no time at all for him to despise Lily, as she was a Muggle-born.

"And it doesn't bother you when he looks at you like you're going to sink your teeth into him?" Sirius questioned doubtfully. Remus disliked any stereotype thrown at him because of his Lycanthropy. Sirius knew it had to bother him.

Remus set his bag down on the table and calmly sat down. "Personally, I think he would taste disgusting, so I would never do it. So, no, it doesn't bother me."

"I still think he's pure evil," Sirius lamented stubbornly, dropping into his seat and glaring crossly at the empty golden platter in front of him.

"Going to blame your lunch on your problems, are you?" James chided, sitting down beside Sirius and looking for something to eat and take his mind off the horrific class they had just experienced.

"Possibly." Sirius grabbed a chicken leg off the nearest platter and ripped a large piece off. "Ebil mab."

"Would I be redundant if I told him he was revolting?" James asked Remus and Peter.

"No," the two replied at once. They were both looking pointedly away from the chicken coming through Sirius's teeth.

James looked as if he was seriously considering reminding Sirius of his disgusting habit of talking with his mouth full, but refrained from doing so, even though Remus and Peter assured him he was not being repetitive.

Sirius swallowed his chicken with immense difficulty and turned to Peter. He needed a third opinion. "So, Pete, do you hate Finely too?"

Peter shrugged as he filled his goblet to the brim with pumpkin juice. "He doesn't seem so bad."

Even Remus could not stop his jaw from dropping open in shock. "Are you bloody _serious?_" Sirius questioned disbelievingly.

"I don't think he's that bad," Peter repeated, focusing his attention on his lunch so he could pretend not to see the unbelieving stares of his friends. He was speaking the truth, he didn't believe Finely was as evil as they were claiming.

"That's only because he doesn't think you're barking mad for running out on the Black family," Sirius remarked bitterly, stabbing his chicken savagely with his fork. "How does he _know_ that anyway?"

James shook his head helplessly. "Maybe he heard Dumbledore say you were living with me and he worked it out." He didn't know who Dumbledore would talk to that about, but it was a possibility. James groaned in disgust. "What did we do to deserve him? It wasn't _us_ who ran Kern out of school last year."

"Not that we're sorry it happened," Remus threw in. "But we've driven _other_ professors out of school."

"But Crane was six years ago! You'd think if the fates wanted to get us back, they'd have done it by now."

"I guess the fates had other plans for us," Sirius groaned.

"He doesn't seem so bad," Peter insisted in a small voice.

James scoffed. "Okay, Wormtail, but when he suddenly has it in for your blood, don't say we didn't warn you."

Remus swallowed his sip of pumpkin juice and tried to direct the conversation away from their evil, life-sucking Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. "How's Potions?" With only an Acceptable in the class, Remus was not eligible to carry on with it. He could not honestly say that he was sorry. It was a heavy burden lifted off his shoulders.

"Same as usual," Sirius replied airily, glad to be rid of the subject of Professor Finely. "Slughorn was acting like he wanted to marry Snivellus and Lily right there, or at least have them marry each other for their alleged _brilliance_ in the subject." He shuddered at the thought of the products of a marriage between Snape and Lily. It would only result on dozens of little boys and girls with greasy black hair and green eyes.

James glanced over his shoulder at the Slytherin table, where Snape sat, flanked on either side by Avery and Mulciber. They were talking in what appeared to be quiet voices, their heads together. "I doubt Lily would accept the offer," he said, trying to insert some confidence into his voice. "She hates the people he hangs out with. I would bet all my gold that Snape would have one of those idiots as his best man."

"Probably," Sirius agreed.

Remus stood up and pulled his bag over his shoulder. "I've got to get to Arithmancy," he told his friends, all three of which had a free period after lunch.

James nodded. "See you in Transfiguration, then."

Remus left the Great Hall and made his way to the Arithmancy classroom. He actually wanted to get there a bit early, as he had had some difficulty with the homework and wanted to ask Professor Vector about it. NEWT level Arithmancy was nothing like what he had taken before. Professor McGonagall said it would be best for him to continue with the subject, as he enjoyed it and had received an Exceeds Expectations in it. The Transfiguration professor said that he might be eligible to teach it come graduation. Remus rolled his eyes at the thought, they were only humouring him. Who would allow a werewolf to teach students?

Professor Dumbledore would, he supposed. But he didn't want to ask any more of the Headmaster than he already had.

He stepped onto one of the moving staircases and got off at the third floor.

As he walked down the empty third floor corridor, he thought he heard someone call his name. Wheeling around on the spot, he could see no one. Shrugging, sure he had just imagined it, he continued on his way. But after just a few more steps, he swore he heard his name again. He shook his head, trying to clear it. He was tired, that had to be it. He was imagining things. He gained his bearings, hoping that there, indeed, _was_ someone calling his name so he would know that he was not losing it.

In fact, in the distance, he _could_ see someone, but he was not sure who it was. As he drew nearer, he recognised the figure as Professor Finely. Remus grimaced. The last thing he wanted was to be alone in a hallway with that frightening man and with no witnesses around. But he couldn't pretend that he hadn't heard the man. From the way Remus had turned to look, Finely would know his voice had been heard. Bracing himself for whatever hell was coming, Remus approached the man, his hand drifting towards his pocket with his wand in it. He wasn't being ridiculous; he truly _did_ feel unsafe around his professor.

"Did you call me, Professor?" Remus asked in what he hoped was a casual tone. His hand still hovered near his pocket. What he had told Sirius and James before had been true – it did not bother him when Finely looked at him as if he was about to morph into a wolf. Yet Finely did bother him, there was something wrong with this man.

"Yes, Lupin, I did," Finely replied in his eternally cold voice.

Remus waited a few beats, expecting the man to go on without being prompted. But he didn't. "Was there anything you wanted?"

Finely dropped the volume of his voice drastically forcing Remus to lean forward so he could hear him. "I'm sure you've noticed the disappearances being reported in the newspapers."

This was not what Remus had been expecting to hear. He had been expecting a threat of some sort, not a chat about newspaper reports. "Yes… I've read about some of them."

"And I believe I am also correct in assuming that you have an idea of who is behind them."

Remus thought it best not to answer that question, affirmatively or negatively. He hadn't the faintest idea of how Finely knew this. This man was too clever.

"I'm sure you've heard of the Dark Lord."

"I… I don't know what you're talking about, Professor." Remus was feeling uneasy. He just wanted to go to class and get away from this man.

"Oh, Lupin, you don't fool me. You're a smart boy, you know about things you _shouldn't_ know about."

Remus's hand twitched. He wanted to pull out his wand, but knew he couldn't. How would it look for Professor McGonagall to catch him with his wand held out at a professor? But he felt very uncomfortable and wanted a chance to defend himself if the need arose. What was going on? Why was Finely talking to him about this? "I…"

"So then you must know that the Dark Lord is very interested in people like you."

Remus said nothing. He did know this; he had known it for years. The Dark Lord could only be Voldemort. Lucius Malfoy had said that Voldemort was looking for people who were shunned from society – vampires, giants, and werewolves.

"You should think about it," Finely advised him sternly. "The Dark Lord can give you things regular wizards are going to deny you. You can't honestly expect to be accepted once you leave school."

So this was what the man wanted. He wanted to persuade Remus to join those horrible people he had seen three years ago in the Forbidden Forest. Remus wasn't going to hear any of it; he had made up his mind about this a long time ago. He _wasn't_ going to be one of those werewolves who felt that he needed to take revenge on innocent people for his lot in life. Remus stepped away from the professor and tried to get away. But Finely merely stepped on the hem of Remus's robe.

He dropped his voice menacingly. "You can't avoid him, Lupin. Your identity may be secret for now, but that won't last when you leave this castle. There may be… ah… some who will make sure others know what you are. You'll never be able to keep a job; no one will rent a flat to you. You won't be able to make anything of your life."

Remus's teeth clenched. Didn't Finely realise Remus already knew everything he was being told? He knew that life outside Hogwarts was going to be hard and he was ready to face it. He didn't have to fall back on a madman who was only going to use him and kill him when the opportunity presented itself.

"The Dark Lord can help you, Lupin. He can give you everything you ever wanted. All you have to do is say the word."

Remus backed away from the man, shaking his head. Students were beginning to fill the hall, on their way to their next class. Remus couldn't listen to this anymore. He had sworn to himself that he was above everything Finely was saying. He couldn't hear it, he _wouldn't_ hear it.

Finely grinned maliciously. "Think about it, Lupin."

* * *

"Is everything alright, Remus? You're quiet tonight."

"Hmm? Yeah, I'm fine, Lily." Remus moved his wand to the left, trying to spot any troublemakers out of bed. Luckily, he found none hiding in the shadows. He was in no mood to deal with loud, arrogant students who believed they were within their rights to be out of their common rooms after curfew.

Lily didn't believe Remus and inquired further. "Is it your mum?"

"What?"

"You're always quiet when you're going to go and visit your mum. But you just went to see her a few days ago, didn't you?"

Remus paused, stooping down to tie his shoelace. He was glad the corridor was dark except for the lights of their wands; Lily had a difficult time trying to see the preoccupied look on his face. "Yeah… I did."

Lily leaned against the wall while she waited for Remus to stand up. She was concerned; she wanted to know if everything was alright in her fellow Prefect's home. "Is she getting better?" Mrs. Lupin _must_ have been getting better. She had been sick ever since Lily had known Remus. She couldn't possibly get any worse. If she _was_ getting worse, the only option left was for her to die. She knew Remus wouldn't be able to take it if that happened.

Remus straightened up and started walking again. "I think so…" He wanted more than anything to talk to his friends, but he had been unable to the entire day. When he met them in Transfiguration, Professor McGonagall had made sure to split them up and sat them in different ends of the room. When class ended, he discovered the three had been given detention for the whole afternoon. He had no chance to talk to them tonight when he returned from Prefect duties; they would most likely be sleeping. He knew they would want to know what had occurred in the hallway after lunch.

A _professor_ was persuading him to join Voldemort. Remus didn't think that could ever happen. Not even Professor Crane would have done that. Professor Finely was a new kind of evil.

"Do you want me to finish up here?" Lily suddenly offered.

"What?"

"You don't look well; you should go on to bed." Remus began to shake his head, but Lily stopped him. "I don't mind, really. There's only a little way to go."

"Are you sure, Lily?"

"Go on, I won't tell Heinz you skipped off on your duty."

"Maybe she'll go and whine to Dumbledore about it."

"Yes and have her badge revoked. I'm surprised Dumbledore didn't do that to Cooper." Lily placed a hand on Remus's shoulder and gently pushed him in the opposite direction. "Get to bed, Remus."

Remus thanked Lily and made his way to Gryffindor Tower. He hoped one of his friends might still be awake. James, Sirius and Peter might not be able to do anything about it, but they would want to know that Finely was trying to convince him to do something he would never dream of doing. Remus didn't want revenge on society; he didn't think his lot in life was so bad. Naturally there were rough parts, every time someone learned of his Lycanthropy when he was a child, the period in second year when he had been abandoned after his friends discovered the truth, and of course his fourth year when Fenrir Greyback found him in the Shrieking Shack. But he would never think of hurting others or joining a person who _liked_ hurting others because of it.

That _wasn't_ the kind of person he was.

The Fat Lady was not happy about being woken up and it took a great deal of begging on Remus's part for her to admit him into the common room. He was just about to get on his knees and wring his folded hands when she consented. The fire was still crackling in the hearth and Remus could see the darkened staircase leading up to his dormitory. He hurried up the stairs and into the sixth year dormitory.

"What's the incantation for the Shield Charm?"

Remus nearly jumped out of his shoes at the sound of Sirius's voice. Sirius was sitting up on his bed, the tip of his wand illuminated, and his notebook open in his lap. Sirius was scratching his chin with his quill, blotting himself with scarlet ink. "Why are you doing homework at midnight?" Remus hissed, not wanting to wake his other roommates.

"I couldn't sleep," Sirius answered, his eyes lighting up as he remembered the answer to another question he hadn't answered yet. He hastily scrawled it down on his homework sheet.

Remus nodded distractedly, pulling his shoes and socks off. He sat down on his bed and turned his left shoe over in his hand, observing it through narrowed eyes.

"Okay, Remus, what's up?" Sirius asked, setting his homework aside and focusing on his friend. Any time Remus found something such as his shoe worthy of attention, there was something else going on.

Remus flinched. He wanted to talk about what Finely had done, but he didn't know how to broach the subject. Luckily, Sirius had given him a bit of an opening. "Finely," he muttered, dropping his shoe on the floor.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. That was not the reply he had been expecting. "What's he done?"

Remus opened and closed his mouth several times. "He… he talked to me when I was going to Arithmancy earlier."

"So…?" They all hated their Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, but he was permitted to speak to them.

"It was about… d'you remember in our third year, when we went into the Forbidden Forest?"

Sirius nodded grimly. How could he forget that day? The four of them had been knocked unconscious by those blokes they had seen in the forest. It wasn't a day he could easily push out of his mind. Surely Professor Finely couldn't know about what happened that afternoon. The only one who did was Professor Handlin, and even he didn't know what they had found out in the forest. Besides, no one knew where Professor Handlin was anymore.

"He… he was telling me how people… people could _use_ people like me."

Sirius's initially curious face turned into one of anger. It was one thing to hear gits like Lucius Malfoy say that, but for a _professor_ to tell his student that? That wasn't right. The professors had to know one of their students was a werewolf, and they respected Remus enough to accept that. Never had a professor, aside from Crane, taken advantage of it. Sirius got up from his bed and paced furiously in front of Remus, who mutely watched his progress. "Am I hearing you right?"

"Yes."

"Well, what did you say to him?"

"I… I didn't say anything, everyone started coming into the hallway."

Sirius moaned. "You should have just said 'no!'"

"But I didn't say 'yes' to him."

"Remus, if you didn't say 'yes' or 'no', it'll look like you're considering it."

"But I'm _not!_"

"_I_ know you're not. You'd never dream of doing anything like what they've got planned. But Finely might think that you're considering it because you never said either way. It makes you sound like you're not sure."

"But I _am _sure!"

"Then tell him that! Don't just tell me, tell that man because he's not going to give up."

"And what happens when I tell him I'm not interested?"

Sirius halted his pacing and stared at Remus. His friend had a good point. He doubted Professor Finely would be pleased to hear that one of his students was denying the chance to be a part of Lord Voldemort's reign of terror. If anything, he would take it as a personal offense and use this information against Remus for the remainder of the school year. "Good point," Sirius admitted.

"I thought so."

"But, Moony…"

"I don't care if he thinks I'm considering it. If he thinks that, it stops him from thinking that I'm saying no."

Sirius sat down on his bed. "So, what are you going to do?"

Remus shrugged. "I dunno… I guess it would be stupid to say that Finely would forget about it by our next class."

"Yeah, it would."

Remus glanced around the dormitory, trying to find another topic of conversation. He couldn't take about Finely and his plans anymore. "Er… have you heard from your parents lately?" he asked tentatively. Remus knew Sirius had received some letters from his parents over the holiday. He didn't know what the letters said; only that Sirius had burned each one after reading it.

Sirius's face darkened. "Yeah… my dad sent me a letter yesterday at breakfast." Remus would not have seen the letter, as he was in the Hospital Wing recovering from the full moon. The letter was the same rubbish Sirius had been getting for weeks now - his parents begging him to reconsider his ways. What hit Sirius the hardest was that the letters were not asking him to come home; the letters were asking him to change in a way he did not want to change.

"Was… was it a good one?" Remus asked cautiously. Sirius shook his head. Remus nodded and his eyes darted around the room before resting again on Sirius. "At least you have James's parents to look after you."

"Yeah… I do." No one would ever know how grateful Sirius truly was for all of the help Mr. and Mrs. Potter had given him. Anyone else could have told him to just go home, even though he knew he was not wanted at his home. But the Potters took him in, gave him a room, food and clothes. He could never fully express his gratitude, but he knew that they knew that it was there. He would be forever indebted to them. Sirius shifted in his seat and smirked. "So… what's the incantation for the Shield Charm?"

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Fifty Five: The Marauder's Map Begins**_

Sirius rolled his eyes at the drip of sarcasm in Remus's voice. Trust Remus to put a downer on his good mood. "No… that would take too long. Besides, they won't be under statues. They'll be in other places."

Remus balled up his socks and dropped them unceremoniously on the floor beside his bed. He pulled back his covers and got under them. "Whatever you say, Sirius. Good night." He rolled over so his back was facing his friends and shut his eyes.

"You two know what this means, don't you?" Sirius continued, glancing from James to Peter.

"You were just telling Remus you weren't going to run around pushing over statues when you really are?" James said, grinning broadly.

"Stuff it, Potter." Sirius crossed the room and sat down on his own bed. "We're about to find out more about this castle than anyone else has before."


	55. The Marauder's Map Begins

Chapter Fifty Five  
The Marauder's Map Begins

Much to Remus's relief, Professor Finely made no further mention of his request. As a matter of fact, he continued to treat Remus just the same as any of his students – with the utmost loathing. Strange as it seemed, the only student Finely did not seem to despise, outside of Slytherin, was Peter. No one could figure out why he had taken a liking to Peter. Peter was not doing well at all in class; he could not succeed in producing silent spells. None of the class really could perform the spells well, but he did the worst out of them. Twice already he had incapacitated Lily Evans in the Hospital Wing because his spells went haywire. Perhaps Finely enjoyed seeing the Muggle-born hurt and that was why he didn't despise Peter. Peter also never brought anything interesting into the conversation, he had no new facts and only knew what his friends told him was going on in the world. None of the Gryffindors understood why Finely had taken to the mousy-haired boy.

Not that they truly cared. Peter was one less person to be tortured unfairly.

Sirius continued to receive mail from his family daily and he continued to burn the evidence every morning at breakfast in the Great Hall, only until Professor McGonagall caught him and asked that, if he must burn his mail, to do it outside. Sirius took the Transfiguration professor's words to heart and he could be seen every day during break igniting multiple pieces of parchment in the courtyard. When asked why he was ignoring his parents, his answer was that he would stop ignoring them when they realised that he was not going to change his beliefs and they should stop trying to make him No one could argue with this. Sirius was right. His parents had very little say in what his beliefs were.

"I'm bored," Sirius lamented one Saturday night in late September.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Remus muttered to himself before biting the head off of a Chocolate Frog.

Sirius turned around to face Remus, who was sitting above Sirius on his bed while Sirius leaned against it on the floor. His expression was indignant. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Remus sighed and looked down at Sirius with a tired look. "You're _always_ bored."

"No, I'm not."

"Sirius, we could be having an absolutely mental party and you would _still_ say you were bored."

Sirius's eyes lit up at once. "Let's have a party!"

James pointed to Peter's alarm clock. The time was half past ten. "A little late for that, don't you think? Lily would have our heads for waking half of Gryffindor up."

Sirius scoffed. "I don't think half the house is sleeping." Sirius stood up and rounded on James, who was absentmindedly doodling little Snitches on a sheet of parchment. "Besides, when do _you_ care about the wrath of Lily Evans?"

James sniffed irritably, keeping his eyes averted from his best friend. "I don't."

Peter shook his head doubtfully. "I dunno, James… Remember what happened second year?" Peter was, of course, referring to the incident in which Lily hexed James so he looked very much like an awkward woman. After that embarrassing situation, they would have thought James cared very much about the wrath of Lily Evans.

James sent Peter a dark look. "I've been doing my best to repress that, thank you, Wormtail."

Sirius snorted loudly. "Why would you want to, Prongs? You made a pretty girl."

James ripped the pillow off his bed and chucked it at Sirius, who caught it just short of it missing his face. "Stuff it, Padfoot."

Sirius tossed the pillow back at James and continued his pacing. Quite suddenly, he stopped. He looked around at his three friends with a look of the utmost determination. "We're going to wander aimlessly around the castle!" he declared loudly, causing Frank Longbottom, who was trying to sleep, to tell him to shut up.

"Why?" Peter asked.

"Because I'm _bored_, for Merlin's sake!" Sirius walked around to the foot of James's bed, and flipped the lid of James's trunk open. Lying under James's Potions textbook was his Invisibility Cloak. He tossed the cloak at the messy-haired boy. "Get up, Potter! On your feet! Move it!"

James shrugged and stood up, tossing the Invisibility Cloak over himself and Sirius. He recognised defeat when he saw it and he was not exactly reluctant to sneak around the castle after curfew. His disembodied voice then said to Remus and Peter, "Let's go, you two."

Remus and Peter exchanged uncertain glances before joining James and Sirius under the cloak. They crept out of the dormitory and down through the common room that was sparsely littered with late night stragglers who were trying to finish their homework or else were just not tired yet. The boys waited for a few moments, making sure no one was looking in the direction of the portrait hole entrance, before pushing the portrait aside and stepping out into the darkened Gryffindor Tower corridor.

There was no sign of Mr. Filch or his nasty cat, Mrs. Norris, as they boys walked cautiously down the blackened passageways, lit only by the orange glow of the torches lining the walls. They had to crouch forward under the cloak so it could cover their feet. James and Sirius had grown so tall that they were almost too big to fit under it. The boys had no idea of where they were going; they were doing exactly what Sirius had intended – wandering aimlessly. They had no destination at all, so they simply allowed themselves to go wherever their feet decided to carry them.

Within minutes they found themselves walking along the third floor corridor near some of the unused classrooms.

"Hold on," Sirius hissed, stopping short. The other boys, not expecting this, stumbled forward, pulling the Invisibility Cloak off of Sirius as they stumbled to the floor. Now on the floor, the torsos of James, Remus and Peter were invisible, as the cloak was sprawled across them. James yanked the cloak off him, Remus and Peter and picked himself up, extending a hand to help Remus up. Sirius waited until the three were completely on their feet before revealing the reason why he had stopped. "We need a plan."

"You were the one who suggested wandering aimlessly," James pointed out impatiently, stuffing the cloak inside his pocket.

Sirius frowned and walked towards a statue of a one-eyed witch. He leaned against it, rubbing his chin as he tried formulating a plan. James turned to Remus and Peter, shaking his head sadly. Trust Sirius to lead them out on a trek that was supposed to have no cause and then proclaim that they needed a plan. The three boys wheeled around when they heard Sirius let out a yell of surprise. He had stumbled backwards, almost losing his balance, but managing to keep his footing. The statue he was leaning against had slid backwards.

"Bloody hell!" Sirius exclaimed. When he was sure he was not going to fall backwards, he spun around to see what had happened. What he saw shocked him. Where the statue had once been standing was a black hole. Sirius whipped out his wand and said, "_Lumos!_" With the orange glow of his wand, he was able to see that he had uncovered a passageway. There was a _tunnel_ under the old witch's hump. His face broke into a broad, mischievous grin and his excited eyes darted to his friends. "I think I've found our plan."

* * *

"Ow!"

"What happened?"

"I hit my head on something."

"Good, maybe it'll knock your brains loose."

Sirius grumbled under his breath at the insult to his intelligence and rubbed the top of his throbbing head. He took a step back and brought the light of his wand up to see just what exactly he had hit his head on.

The four boys had been walking for what felt like hours down the long tunnel Sirius had discovered. In reality, they knew the walk had only last about a half hour, possibly an hour at the most. The walk only seemed like it lasted hours because of their heightened anticipation of what they were walking towards. They knew Hogwarts had dozens of secret passageways. They knew of only one, the one under the Whomping Willow. They had always wanted to find more of them, but they never expected to find one in such a random place. Then again, what did they expect? The passageways were secret and therefore had to be put in an unassuming place. There couldn't be signs in bright colours pointing to the entries to the passages.

They now only wondered where this tunnel led to.

The light from Sirius's wand uncovered a dusty trapdoor. At the sight of it, his face split into a victorious grin. Glancing over his shoulder, he declared, "Gentlemen, we've reached our destination."

Sirius pushed the door up and led the way out into the unknown frontier. He climbed out into what looked like a stockroom, but he didn't have time to discover just what kind of stockroom he was in. He could see upon first glance boxes upon boxes littered everywhere in the room, but turned to help James out into the room before he inquired the contents of the boxes. Once Remus had managed to pull Peter out of the trapdoor, they were able to take in their surroundings. The four boys dispersed across the room, looking at the labels on the boxes, trying to figure out exactly where they were.

Of course, once they saw the first labels on the boxes that indicated items such as Chocolate Frogs and Cockroach Clusters were stocked there, it was not at all difficult to realise that they were in Honeydukes Sweet Shop. "Wicked," Sirius said quietly, running a hand along the dusty surface of a box filled with Fizzing Whizzbees.

"Why would the school have a passageway that led to a sweets shop?" Remus wondered aloud, wiping away some dust so he could see what was in the box he was looking at. He did not mind this, obviously, but he was curious as to why.

"Who cares?" James said happily as he discovered a box with Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans inside. "The point is that the passageway _exists!_" They had all of Honeydukes at their disposal, which meant they had all of _Hogsmeade_ at their disposal. The only downside to having everything in Honeydukes at their fingertips was that they had to be exceptionally quiet, as the owners lived above the shop. This meant that they could not leave the shop, as the sound of a door creaking open would carry through the dead silence. With this thought in mind, they crept up the wooden steps into the main store, trying to make as little noise as possible.

The store was almost pitch-black, lit only by the faint moonlight streaming in from the windows. The shelves were still stocked with the sweets that were displayed during the day, waiting patiently for the next day's customers to come and purchase them.

"So, get some sweets and leave the money on the counter, you reckon?" Sirius said as his eyes scanned every inch of the store, searching for his favourite sweets. He couldn't wait to get his hands on the supple of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum. James nodded at once and made a beeline towards the Cauldron Cakes. Sirius exchanged looks of utter revulsion with Remus and Peter. In the almost six years they had known James, they could never figure out why he enjoyed those disgusting cakes that gave them all stomach aches. They just liked to entertain the idea that he had an iron stomach.

When they had finished searching the shelves and left the appropriate amount of money on the counter, they disappeared back into the basement. It was unbelievable that there was a passageway from the castle to Honeydukes, but what the boys didn't understand was that no one before them seemed to have discovered it before them. Surely Sirius couldn't have been the first person who decided to lean against the old witch. But whoever found it first didn't matter, the fact was that _they_ knew it was there now. They could visit Honeydukes any time they wished now; they no longer had to wait until the Hogsmeade weekends.

By the time they had all fully climbed out of the passageway and were safely under James's Invisibility Cloak, they had agreed to explore the rest of the castle for these secret tunnels. If there was one, there had to be more. They would have liked to have delved deeper into Hogsmeade, but there was the danger of waking the owners of the sweets shop. Yet they were perfectly content searching through the barrels of Bertie Botts and the shelves of Drooble's and Chocolate Frogs. Perhaps if they found another tunnel somewhere they could go further into the village.

"That was brilliant!" Sirius exclaimed loudly as they reentered the common room.

"Shh!" Remus hissed. "Do you want to wake up the entire house?"

Sirius looked thoughtful for a moment, as if he was seriously considered doing what Remus was warning again, but shook his head. If he woke up all of Gryffindor, everyone would start asking what he was so excited about. That would lead to questions about where they had gone. They were not willing to share their secret knowledge of the castle yet. He dropped the volume of his voice. "Seriously, though, there's a passage that leads to _Honeydukes!_ D'you know how useful that's going to be?"

"Very," James agreed, leading the way up the stairs to the dormitory. "When you're ready to go on a sugar binge, we'll know where to take you."

The boys entered the dormitory and each went to their beds, except for Sirius, who appeared to be too excited to go to sleep.

"How exactly do you expect to find all the other hiding places for the passageways?" Remus asked realistically, sitting down on his bed and pulling his shoes off. "Are you going to lean on every statue in the school and hope it falls over?"

Sirius rolled his eyes at the drip of sarcasm in Remus's voice. Trust Remus to put a downer on his good mood. "No… that would take too long. Besides, they won't be under statues. They'll be in other places."

Remus balled up his socks and dropped them unceremoniously on the floor beside his bed. He pulled back his covers and got under them. "Whatever you say, Sirius. Good night." He rolled over so his back was facing his friends and shut his eyes.

"You two know what this means, don't you?" Sirius continued, glancing from James to Peter.

"You were just telling Remus you weren't going to run around pushing over statues when you really are?" James said, grinning broadly.

"Stuff it, Potter." Sirius crossed the room and sat down on his own bed. "We're about to find out more about this castle than anyone else has before."

* * *

For the next few weeks, the boys spent most of their free time scouring every inch of the castle, searching for any other secret passageways. They tried looking in every spot imaginable; including the S-bend that Moaning Myrtle took to haunting. She had mistaken Peter's interest in the toilet as an interest in her and, when she found out the truth, proceeded to wail at an ear-piercing level and flood the entire second floor, saturating the four boys immeasurably. James, Sirius and Peter had also looked through the storage room in the dungeons one night while Remus was on patrol. Sirius gave Remus his two-way mirror, so he would be able to warn them if someone was going in that direction, as Remus and Lily were patrolling the Entrance Hall and the Great Hall.

They had no success in finding more secrets of the castle and were beginning to think that maybe there was just the one tunnel under the old witch's hump. It was only another unintentional move that revealed the next passageway behind a mirror. James was sifting through some of his gold and the coins dropped to the floor and rolled away. The majority of the coins landed under the bottom of the mirror, which was a few inches above the floor. James couldn't quite reach his fingers through the space to get the coins, so Sirius and Remus tried shifting the mirror to the side. When the two gently pushed the mirror to the side, they saw something unusual.

There was not a wall behind the mirror; instead there was a dark corridor.

Naturally, their curiosity peaked and they pushed the mirror aside completely so they could explore this new revelation. If this was anything like the tunnel they had found under the witch's hump, they were in for another new way into Hogsmeade. It wasn't as though they _needed_ to have these passages at their disposal, they all had written permission from their families to go into the village, but these new discoveries would come in handy on days when there wasn't a trip into Hogsmeade.

This tunnel, they soon learned, lead to the basement of the Hog's Head pub. As the only experience they had ever had there was less than pleasant, the boys did not feel they would take advantage of this new find. Besides, they didn't think the barkeeper would be too appreciative of four boys appearing out of his basement. But they were still glad they had found it. It would be useful if every other passageway suddenly caved in and they had a pressing need to get into the village. Soon they had located four more secrets of the castle, all of them leading into different parts of Hogsmeade. There was only one downside to this; many of them were ones that Mr. Filch knew were there. The caretaker had no power to eradicate them, but he could patrol them to make sure no troublemakers found them.

He had failed on that account, but he could still catch the boys in the act of breaking into the tunnels.

This fact brought them to a very important realisation. They needed to find a way to mark where everyone in the castle was when they elected to venture into one of these tunnels. It was this prospect that brought them to the conversation they were having on the shore of the lake, one Saturday afternoon in late October.

"Filch is going to catch us one of these days," Peter fretted, throwing a small pebble in the lake.

Sirius meticulously shredded a blade of grass into miniscule pieces and scoffed. "He's never caught us before."

"Yes, he has," Remus reminded him, looking up from the lake, which he had just been staring into. "Remember in our second year and Lily hexed James so he looked like a girl?"

James made an angry noise in his throat. "_Must_ you constantly bring that up?"

"I'm trying to make a point, Prongs." Remus turned his back on James, who made a mean gesture at him, and continued. "And Moaning Myrtle yelled at us all and-"

"Actually, she yelled at _you_," Sirius said, gloating. Moaning Myrtle had only called Remus 'tactless'; she had not yelled at any of the other boys.

Remus waved a dismissive hand. "And she started flooding the bathroom and Filch caught us and had us scrubbing the dungeons with toothbrushes."

Sirius glanced between James and Peter and focused on Remus. "So?"

"So, we _have_ bought caught by Filch. I think Peter has a point."

Sirius nodded and suddenly rounded on Peter. "And what do you suggest we do about this, Wormtail?"

Peter shrugged helplessly. "I dunno… I was just saying we're going to get caught one of these days."

"So what you're saying is that we need a way of knowing where everyone in the castle is when we want to go into one of those passages?" Remus surmised, observing a few strands of grey hair hanging over his eyes.

"And how do you propose we go about that, Moony?" Sirius asked, getting up from his spot on the grass and walking over to Remus, taking the liberty of yanking a piece of grey hair out of his friend's head.

Remus flinched at the quick, sharp pain. "I don't know." He glanced up and saw Sirius was twirling the strand of hair around his fingers. He rolled his eyes. "It's bad enough I'm turning into an old man at sixteen, must you make me bald, as well?"

Sirius grinned and held the strand of hair out to his friend. "Do you want it back?"

Remus shook his head. "No, keep it."

"Seriously, though, what should we do, then?" James asked impatiently, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. He was staring out across the lake, where he could see the distinct head of red hair that belonged to Lily Evans, who was chatting affably with Frank Longbottom and Alice Gordon. He continued staring for a moment, a faraway look in his eyes, before he tore his gaze away and focused on his friends. "I mean, Pete's right, we can't afford to get caught much more. Filch is already out for our blood after we gave him that box of Sugar Quills that drew all over his face."

"Hey, he can't prove it was us!"

Remus sighed exasperatedly. "Sirius, you signed the card: _Love from your favourite Gryffindor sixth years_. He may not know a wand from a twig, but he knows which Gryffindor sixth years would do something like that."

"It could have been Frank who sent it to him," Sirius persisted, determined to prove that they were not the only suspects.

"Can we get back to the point?" James said loudly, cutting across whatever retort Remus was planning.

"The _point_ is that we need to find a foolproof way to get to where we want to go without getting caught!" Peter said piercingly, a little too piercingly as a group of girls across the lake turned at his voice. Turning beet red, Peter shut his mouth and looked away.

Sirius laughed sardonically. "What do you suggest we do then, Wormtail? We should make a map that somehow has everyone's exact location in the castle on it?" Sirius continued to chortle under his breath at the absurdity of this idea.

James, on the other hand, looked excited by Sirius's joke. His eyes lit and he sat up straighter. "Say that again, Padfoot."

Sirius raised an eyebrow at James, clearly wondering why he was asking him to do this. "We should… make a… map, was it?"

"Exactly!"

Now Remus and Peter were staring at James in wonder. "What are you getting at, Prongs?" Remus asked concernedly.

"A map!" Excitement was radiating from James, yet the others could not see why.

"A map?" Sirius repeated.

"Yes! What don't you three get?"

Sirius, Remus and Peter glanced uneasily at each other, before each of their faces took on a look of comprehension. James wanted to create a map of Hogwarts, a map that would tell them where every person in the castle was. In theory, it was an excellent idea. But did James understand how hard it was going to be to do that? Sirius had only jokingly suggested this; he hadn't expected James to take it to heart.

"James… it's a brilliant idea," Remus said quietly, ignoring Sirius who was muttering that it was _his_ idea. "But, how are we going to do that?"

The excitement flooded out of James. It _was_ a brilliant idea and he wanted to bring it to life, but he couldn't deny that Remus had it right. He hadn't the foggiest idea as to how he was going to make a map of the entire castle. "Okay," James said, his voice rising as he tried desperately to back this up with something. "We can look it up, let's go to the library!"

"Because the librarian would really appreciate helping us find information to help your marauding habits."

"Stuff it, Remus."

Remus shook his head and stood up, shaking a rock out of his shoe. "I'm not saying we can't _try,_" he insisted. He beckoned the three to follow him and led the way to the library.

James and Sirius were often full of insane ideas, Remus knew this completely. He recalled with mild exasperation their plan to turn Snape into the former queen of Versailles, and the final product. He had to admit, Snape looked quite lovely with his black hair turned curly and piled on top of his head. Speaking of Snape… Remus's eyes narrowed as the Slytherin passed by and asked, very discreetly, if his throat was sore from howling so much. Remus gritted his teeth and pretended he had not heard the Slytherin.

James and Sirius, on the other hand, were close enough to hear Snape's comment and would not take it simply with gritted teeth. "What was that, Snivellus?" James demanded harshly.

"You heard me, Potter," Snape snarled, his eyes still glaring at Remus. Remus's hand twitched towards the pocket with his wand. Snape saw this and smirked widely. "Going to hex me, are you? Wouldn't you just bite me on a full moon?"

Remus's hand clenched into a fist this time and Sirius was quickly at Remus's side, forcing his fist back. "Don't, Remus, he's not worth it."

Snape laughed derisively. "That's right, Lupin. Black must be your caretaker, keeping you from doing stupid things. Don't want Dumbledore to expel you, do you?"

Sirius let go of Remus's fist and drew his own wand. "Do you want to say that again, Snivellus?"

Snape's eyes narrowed on the tip of Sirius's wand. "Are _you_ going to hex me then, Black?"

"I've never had any problem doing it before, so why not?"

"Sirius," Remus said tensely. "Don't bother; it's not your battle to fight."

Sirius raised a disbelieving eyebrow at Remus. If it hadn't been for his stupidity the previous year, this wouldn't have been Remus's fight at all. There would be no reason for a fight because Snape would not know about Remus's Lycanthropy. The least Sirius could do was hex the Slytherin who knew it into oblivion. Snape promised Dumbledore he wouldn't tell, but Sirius didn't believe that rubbish for a second. Snape would give anything to sell them all out to the entire school and the entire school wouldn't hesitate for the slightest moment to run Remus out of the castle.

Remus eased away from Sirius and unclenched his fists. "Go away, Snape," he said, surprisingly calmly. "We weren't bothering, so leave us alone."

Snape sneered. "You never thought about bothering _me_ when I wasn't bothering you."

Remus exhaled slowly. "We haven't done that for a while now." James, Sirius and Peter watched the exchange between Snape and Remus with mild interest. Where could Remus possibly be going with this? Snape never listened to reason. Then Peter nudged James, who nudged Sirius when he saw what the two were looking at. Remus had successfully pulled his wand out of his pocket and it was hanging limply in his hand at his side. Snape had not noticed this action.

"I don't care," Snape continued angrily. "I'm making up for five years where you did."

"Snape, please move right now."

"I'm not listening to a bloody beast."

"Fine, don't move." There was a loud crack and Snape was lying on the ground, stiff as a board. Remus glared down at him. Remus was a usually passive person, but not when it came to his condition. Snape had pushed him a bit too far.

"Wow," Peter said in an awed voice. "When did you get so good at nonverbal spells?"

Remus shrugged and slid his wand back into his pocket. "I thought they might come in handy." He sidestepped Snape and said over his should, "Going to the library, aren't we?"

James, Sirius and Peter followed, Sirius being extra careful to tread on Snape's face. It was time to start creating the map.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Fifty Six: Sirius's Inheritance**_

"Filthy, slimy Snivellus," James snarled when he met Sirius and Peter a half an hour later in the Great Hall when he had returned from the infirmary.

"I'm guessing Remus is in the Hospital Wing?" Sirius surmised, unearthing a particularly large potato in his stew and staring at it in wonder.

James nodded jerkily, glaring at the food dispersed across the table as though they had been the ones who hexed his friend.

"We warned you about being careful," Peter said, shaking his head sadly.

"Snape attacked Remus from behind, I don't think there was anything he could do about it," James snapped, pushing the dish of stew Sirius had just given him away. He didn't have much of an appetite. "So Snape's gotten you three. That just leaves me now."

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, it does."


	56. Sirius's Inheritance

Chapter Fifty Six  
Sirius's Inheritance

The library proved to be helpful in the sense that it provided the boys with some helpful books filled with spells to make their map with. The map would have to be hand drawn, obviously, so they decided to make the layout as simple as possible. They would not go into detail at all, but draw a mere outline of each room in the castle. There was no need to draw every trophy in the trophy room or every chair and couch in the Gryffindor common room. A simple box with a label so they would know which room it was would suffice. James found a number of useful Location Charms they would need in order to find out where everyone in the castle was. After learning the theory and technique, all they had to do was perform the spell inside each room in the castle and the room would be able to tell them who were occupying it. The spell was not difficult, yet it was terribly time consuming and it involved breaking into a number of the rooms.

Meanwhile, the tension between the four boys and Snape had reached its ultimate peak. There was not a day that went by in which one of the five did not end up in the Hospital Wing with some sort of malady. The first victim was Peter, who had doubled back after Defence Against the Dark Arts to ask Professor Finely about the homework, and was caught unawares by Snape, who was lurking around the corner. Peter was next seen in the Hospital Wing with two more eyeballs than he should have had and they were coming out of places eyeballs should never come out of. The next victim was Sirius, who was wandering about the castle, scouting out the many locations he needed to draw for the map. He was lurking in the dungeons, which was basically asking to be cursed, looking for the Slytherin common room. Needless to say, Snape took great pleasure in hexing Sirius until his face resembled porridge.

Sirius and Peter knew it was Snape who was behind the incidents, though they had never seen him at it, but they could not catch the illusive Slytherin. The most they could do was tell James and Remus, who were fortunate enough not to have come in contact with Snape, to be extremely careful. James and Remus _tried_ being extremely careful, but this did not stop Remus from being Stupefied from behind and strung up by his ankles for an hour and a half, only to pass out when the blood had finished rushing to his head. Remus knew he should have known better than to walk down a hallway by himself, but he had to ask Professor Flitwick what the homework assignment was and didn't want to keep his friends from dinner. It was only when James accidentally walked into a closet posing as a bathroom that he found Remus and mercifully woke him up and brought him to the Hospital Wing.

"Filthy, slimy _Snivellus_," James snarled when he met Sirius and Peter a half an hour later in the Great Hall when he had returned from the infirmary.

"I'm guessing Remus is in the Hospital Wing?" Sirius surmised, unearthing a particularly large potato in his stew and staring at it in wonder.

James nodded jerkily, glaring at the food dispersed across the table as though they had been the ones who hexed his friend.

"We warned you about being careful," Peter said, shaking his head sadly.

"Snape attacked Remus from behind, I don't think there was anything he could do about it," James snapped, pushing the dish of stew Sirius had just given him away. He didn't have much of an appetite. "So Snape's gotten you three. That just leaves me now."

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, it does."

James stood up and stared at his two friends determinedly. "Well, I'm _not_ going to let that happen. Snape can just -" But James never got his sentence out, as at the very precise moment, he was hit with a hex that forced leeks through his ears. James let out a snarl of frustration that terrified the two Ravenclaw first years who were passing behind him. He whipped his wand out and turned in the direction of the Slytherin table. Yet Snape had already disappeared. "How does he _do_ that?" James wondered aloud, disgusted by it. Snape could disappear just as easily as if he had an Invisibility Cloak and they boys knew he did _not_ have one.

"He's slimy and evil," Sirius suggested. Sirius and Peter also stood up and began dragging James away from the Great Hall with immense difficulty. People were beginning to stare as James put up a fight. He wanted to hex the brains out of Snivellus and he would not be denied.

Needless to say, Madam Pomfrey was not pleased when she saw the final of the four boys arriving at her doorstep with some sort of malfunction. "Go sit on that bed over there!" she barked, pointing to the empty bed beside the one Remus was in.

"Bloody Snape," James muttered as he took a seat. His hands were clenched into fists so tight that his knuckles had turned the palest white they could. "And he calls _us_ cowards for attacking him with no reason?"

"And we never held him upside down for over an hour," Peter lamented, gesturing to Remus, who was lying down with his eyes closed.

"Yeah," Sirius agreed vehemently. "The most we ever did was ten minutes, and then we let him down."

"On his head."

"Is there any other way?"

Madam Pomfrey came bustling back into the room, wand in hand. In one simple counter curse, James's ears were free of vegetation. "I don't understand you boys," she went on exasperatedly. "First one of you gets hexed and then all of you do!"

James smirked. "We do everything together, Madam Pomfrey, didn't you know?"

The nurse shook her head and marched furiously out of the room. "So Snape got you too?" Remus mumbled, glancing over at James.

"Yes. But he's _not_ getting away with it." James jumped off his seat and began pacing. He was getting revenge - sweet, _sweet_ revenge. Taking a deep breath, he glanced at his friend, whose face was still pale, but otherwise looked healthy. "How's your head?"

"Fine, Madam Pomfrey gave me something for it." Remus sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. "What happened to you?"

"Snape thought I'd look nice with leeks coming through my ears."

Remus frowned sympathetically. Sometimes there was nothing more embarrassing than to be sprouting vegetation out of the various holes on a person's body. He remembered when they made turnips come out of the nose of one of Snape's cronies. "At least he didn't suspend you upside down for an hour and a half."

"Very true," James agreed. Then, with a wild look in his eyes, he declared "I'm going to get him back."

Sirius folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the doorframe. "And how are you going to do that?"

James sat down at the foot of Remus's bed. "Get back to me in an hour."

* * *

Indeed, one hour later, Severus Snape could be found attached to a suit of armor with a charm that would not lift until James chose to lift it, and that was not for some time. It was quite a sight, watching the Slytherin hobble at snail speed across the castle in rhythm with the jeers that came his way. The look of fury on Snape's face was something no one would forget. He was humiliated and everyone enjoyed seeing this. Even Lily Evans couldn't suppress the tiny smile that crept onto her lips; she had never forgiven Snape for calling her a Mudblood. It was only when Professor McGonagall discovered the spectacle that James was forced to release Snape from his metal prison.

Snape was next seen in the Hospital Wing, getting something for his incredible backache and a Calming Draught. The boys were immensely satisfied. Snape had very much earned his comeuppance.

"Class dismissed," Professor Finely barked one day in early November. The Gryffindor sixth years barely held in their shouts of delight. This class had been particularly brutal. They had been told to cast silent Stinging Hexes on each other and most of the class was now able to cast the charms successfully, meaning everyone was stinging all over. The class trudged slowly out of the room, wincing with every step. James, Sirius and Peter hovered patiently in the doorway, waiting for Remus, who was moving incredibly slowly. The full moon had been two days ago and he had to go at it alone. James, Sirius and Peter were serving detention for hexing the toilets to regurgitate its contents back at the unfortunate souls who used it. Remus had spent the entire night viciously biting and scratching at himself.

"You guys go on ahead," Remus insisted for the third time, pausing to yawn deeply. "McGonagall will kill you if you're late."

James shrugged that off. "Yeah, what else is new?"

"Actually, I would like a private word with Mr. Lupin," Professor Finely said abruptly. He was giving the three boys pointed looks.

Remus froze over his bag. His eyes darted quickly to Sirius, clearly asking him if he should stay or go. Sirius allowed Remus the smallest of shrugs. Sirius didn't want to give Finely the impression that he knew about the conversation the man had had with Remus earlier in the year. Professor Finely cleared his throat loudly and James, Sirius and Peter, understanding the message, reluctantly left the room. Remus suddenly felt very alone. He slowly looked up from his bag, at the professor. "Yes, sir?"

Professor Finely took very careful and deliberate steps towards Remus. "I was hoping you'd given my offer some thought."

Remus felt something heavy and painful drop into the pit of his stomach. He had thought too early. He had thought Professor Finely would have forgotten about the conversation they had had in the hallway that day at the beginning of the year. It had been months ago. "I… I… no, no I haven't, Professor," he answered quietly, concentrating now on the zipper that was caught on the fabric of his bag. He pulled at it, needing something to do with his hands to keep them from retrieving his wand.

Professor Finely frowned deeply and clicked his tongue. "You know, I would have thought a smart boy like you _would_ have given it some thought." He laughed in what he must have thought was a jovial manner, yet it only raised the hairs on the back of Remus's neck. "Honestly, anyone with your intelligence should see the benefits of developing a relationship with the Dark Lord."

"I'm afraid I don't." Remus wanted to get out of there, but he knew the professor would not let him leave until he was good and ready. Finely was right behind him now, Remus could feel the man's breath on his neck.

"Then you know what the consequences will be, don't you?" When Remus did not answer, Finely let his impatience out. "Turn around and face me, Lupin!"

Remus braced himself and turned, startled when he saw the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor was no more than an inch from his nose.

Not bothering to hide his irritation any longer, Finely asked in a furiously low voice, "What will the consequences be, Lupin?"

Remus's voice was no more than a scared whisper. He was only sixteen years old, he didn't need this. "Why don't you tell me, Professor?"

"Fine. I will tell you _exactly_ what the consequences will be. You will be killed, Lupin. You will be _killed. _When the Dark Lord learns you refused his offers, he will find you and make sure you don't forget it."

"Remus, come on, we're going to class."

Remus and the professor looked towards the door to see Sirius peeking through the doorway. Remus had never before been so happy to see Sirius. Sirius knew enough to know that the professor would not continue with this conversation if there were witnesses. Remus snatched his bag up and hurried toward the door before he could be stopped. "Did you hear all that?" Remus asked once they were well out of earshot of the professor.

"Yes," Sirius said, nodding grimly. "You've got to tell someone."

"No I don't."

Sirius groaned and moved so he was standing in front of Remus. "Do I need to remind you what happened the last time you didn't tell someone something? You were beaten to pulp in the Shrieking Shack! You wouldn't talk to anyone about it for weeks, not even _us_. I don't want that happening again."

Remus spoke in a calm voice, trying to keep Sirius from yelling, which he was clearly very close to doing. "Finely's not going to hurt me, Sirius."

Frustrated, Sirius looked away and continued on his way to Transfiguration. Why was Remus so naïve? "You don't know he won't."

"He won't," Remus maintained, quickening his step so he was beside Sirius. "He doesn't have to. If you heard any of that conversation, you'd know he's not the one who's going to. Someone else will."

Sirius opened his mouth to protest, but decided against it. Remus knew what he was doing, Sirius supposed. At any rate, Remus would recognise when he didn't know what he was doing. Instead, they continued on their way to Professor McGonagall's class in silence and did not broach the subject when James and Peter asked Remus what Professor Finely wanted to talk to him about.

When class had concluded for the day, the four boys disappeared out onto the grounds to discuss their map in private. They found a nice patch of grass near Hagrid's Hut. As Hagrid was currently playing host to numerous unknown creatures that thrived off human hair, not many people were willing to go too near his hut. The boys, however, did not care in the slightest and sought refuge there. Sirius pulled a large, folded piece of parchment out of his pocket and spread it open on the grass. James, Remus and Peter leaned forward to get a better look.

"I've drawn out all of Gryffindor Tower, that was the easiest part," he reported, pointing one finger to the spot labeled _Gryffindor Tower_.

"How would we have ever figured that out?" James said in a voice that sounded remarkably one like a damsel in distress. Remus and Peter sniggered quietly. "I mean… if Sirius here hadn't pointed it out to us, we _never_ would have guessed where it was!"

"Stuff it, Prongs," Sirius hissed.

"And what is this that the fabulous Gryffindor four are looking at?"

Sirius instantly snatched up the parchment and stuffed it safely away into an inside pocket in his robe. Regulus Black was standing just behind Peter, who had frozen at voice of the unannounced newcomer. "What do you want, Regulus?" Sirius barked.

"Mum asked me to give you this." Regulus handed over a parchment envelope that Sirius saw was already opened.

"Isn't it against the law to read someone else's mail?" Sirius snarled, pulling the letter out of the torn envelope with shaking hands. He was in no mood to deal with more letters from his parents. He might as well just set it on fire now.

"I wanted to make sure you wouldn't burn it before you read it." Regulus maintained his composure, but now Sirius saw there was a hint of something in his eyes that he rarely saw. "And Mum doesn't want you to either. I know that doesn't mean much to you, but she specifically for you not to destroy it. Listen to her, for once. Don't rip the letter up, Sirius. You'll want to know what it says."

Sirius studied Regulus for a long time before consenting. His eyes moved slowly across the page and his hardened expression died away and was replaced by one of confusion and then utter sadness. When he finished reading, he folded the letter with white, trembling hands. He reluctantly looked at his younger brother and said in a rather odd voice, "So… he's dead, then?" Regulus nodded silently. "Okay… well… thanks for telling me. I've… got to go… do my homework." He hastily stood up and at once strode off towards the castle.

Without a word, James stood up and followed him. Remus slowly got to his feet, Peter doing the same. "Who died?" Remus asked Regulus.

Even with the news of a death in the family, Regulus still managed to put the superior look on his face, as if he believed he was far too good to be addressed by a lowly half-blood. "Our uncle, Alphard."

* * *

"Sirius, mate, stop walking for a second!"

James was hurrying behind Sirius, who was nearly sprinting up the enchanted staircases in the direction of the Gryffindor common room, apparently deaf to his best friend's voice. Sirius did not halt or falter in his step, not even to let James catch up with him. Breathing loudly, he sped up the stairs, oblivious to all else around him. It was only when they had entered the deserted dormitory that Sirius halted and this was just to drop down on his bed and press his face into his hands. James stood in the doorway, staring at his friend. He had never seen Sirius break down before. The closest he had ever seen was when they were twelve and Sirius had just come back from the Shrieking Shack. He was upset about the wrongness of what Remus had to go through. Now it was because of the death of someone he clearly must have cared about.

James couldn't begin to think of who that might be.

He sat down beside Sirius and gently shook his shoulder, trying to prompt him to speak. "Sirius, who was it?" He heard what sounded distinctly like a sniff Sirius had tried, and failed, to suppress.

When Sirius finally spoke, it was with a voice that made him sound as though he was suffering from a bad head cold. "D'you remember my Uncle Alphard?"

James's heart sunk. Sirius's uncle was the only family member he liked, other than his cousin, Andromeda. "Yes," he replied quietly.

"He died last week… my mum wrote to tell me." Sirius laughed hollowly, his eyes narrowing dangerously. His tone became nasty and sarcastic. "She seemed right upset that he left me his gold. He never believed in all that rubbish the rest of my family does; he thought I was the only sane one. Mum probably blasted his name right off the family tree!" He took a deep breath and ran his hands over his face. "There's probably a huge black spot over his name just like there is over mine."

James bit his lip. He'd never seen Sirius like this; he didn't know how to act. He had only dealt with a situation like this once. They were thirteen and Remus's grandparents had just died. But dealing with Remus was different… James couldn't place the difference, but he knew there was one. Remus was easier to deal with, Sirius wasn't. He didn't know what to say to his best friend. He didn't want to sound insensitive. "Did… was… was he sick?"

"No… he was just old." He quickly wiped his nose on his sleeve. "His neighbor came to borrow something and when Alphard didn't answer… he forced the door open and found him dead in his bed. He… he died in his sleep. There was nothing painful about it."

James chewed on his lip again. He _really_ didn't know what to say. "Er… did… is there… is there going to be a funeral."

Sirius nodded swiftly. "I think my mum said there was going to be… James, I don't think I can go. I can't face it."

"You… you don't have to…"

Sirius suddenly leapt out of his seat and began pacing frantically about the room. "Of _course_, I have to go! James, he was one of the only people in my family I gave a damn about and now he's gone!"

James's eyes moved from left to right, following Sirius's progress. James knew this was hard for him to handle. "I know, Sirius."

"I hate them… I hate every one of them! They don't care he's gone! Did you see Regulus? He didn't care!"

"You… you don't know that."

"Yes I do! He wasn't sad because Alphard is dead! He's upset because the man loved me more than he did him and gave me all his money. Regulus isn't used to being second best to his big brother. He only cares about himself! He doesn't care that Alphard's gone and isn't coming back!" Sirius fell back onto Remus's empty bed and again buried his face in his hands. Alphard was gone… why was that so hard for him to understand? He didn't really know the man; he had met him a handful of times in his life. He was one of the few family members his parents refused to let him see. Walburga and Orion Black thought Alphard's thinking would taint Sirius's mind. It didn't matter anymore, did it? Alphard was dead.

Sirius got up, unable to sit still for more than a minute and roamed anxiously around the room. "He's dead, James."

"I know he is."

"I hardly knew him… I barely knew the man and I can't accept that he's gone."

James inhaled deeply and stood up. He crossed the room to meet Sirius. "Maybe… maybe you can't accept it because… because he's everything you would have wanted in your family and now it's gone."

Sirius studied James as he studied Regulus, but without the bitter scrutiny. James was right. Alphard was everything Sirius would have wanted in a father and he never got it. Instead, he got Orion Black, the man who didn't run after him when his oldest child ran out the front door, never to come back. "Yeah… you're right."

James placed a hand on Sirius's shoulder and gently squeezed it. "I know it's not much, but, mate, I'm really sorry."

There was the briefest flicker of a smile across Sirius's lips. "Thanks, James."

"Are you going to be alright?"

Sirius ran his hands over his face once more. "Yeah… I'll be fine… I just… I need to be alone for a little while." He nodded to James and disappeared from the room.

James watched him go before crossing to the window. Down below on the grounds, he could see Regulus was now sitting at the shore of the lake. Remus and Peter were several feet away, James could recognise Remus's mass of sandy brown hair and Peter's mousy hair. His eyes traveled back to Regulus and he wondered if what Sirius said was true. Did Regulus honestly not care that his uncle was dead? If that was the case… James wondered how Sirius ever grew up in a family like that.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Fifty Seven: The Great Christmas Tree Challenge**_

"Well," Sirius began in a business-like fashion, setting aside his dish of fried tomatoes and bacon. "I will be venturing to London where I will proceed to burn down Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place. Who wants to join me?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Who's not doing anything illegal?"

James stepped in before Sirius could say anything else ridiculous. It was best not to irritate Remus Lupin so close to the full moon. "What did you have in mind?"

"My parents invited you guys and your families to come to our place, if you're not already doing anything, that is."

James shook his head, grinning. "I don't think my parents were planning anything special. I'll write to them."


	57. The Great Christmas Tree Challenge

Chapter Fifty Seven  
The Great Christmas Tree Challenge

In the end, Sirius disappeared for two days, with the permission of Headmaster Dumbledore, to attend Alphard's funeral. Sirius had needed some persuasion at first. He wasn't sure that he would be able to stand there and look at the lifeless body of one of the few family members he had that actually cared about him. The only one of his friends who was able to get through to him was Remus. Remus was the only one who had ever attended a funeral of a loved one and could tell Sirius what to expect. Besides, Sirius surmised that it would be a small gathering, nothing at all extravagant. He knew the Black Family couldn't spare a Knut for Alphard's funeral, he knew many of them were glad that he was gone. In fact, Sirius was the only one in attendance. He had expected Andromeda to come, but she must not have been able to get out of whatever obligations she had.

Sirius expected he looked rather foolish, standing in front of Alphard's lifeless body all by himself, but he didn't care. He didn't care at all. As far as he was concerned, he could be the only person there and still represent the Black Family – the small, _good_ side of the Black Family. This side was very limited. He didn't want the rest of his family there. They wouldn't mourn Alphard; they would pretend to or they would openly scorn his existence and his final request – for Sirius to inherit his fortune. Sirius wouldn't have had the patience to deal with that. He probably would have thrown every caution to the wind and hexed his family into oblivion. He would have enjoyed that, but he didn't suspect he would enjoy being expelled from school.

November turned to December and the castle was coated in layers of snow and was decorated for the coming holidays. As usual, Hagrid dragged twelve Christmas trees across the snowy grounds, leaving deep crevices in the four feet of snow. The trees now stood proudly in the Great Hall, covered in colourful baubles and faeries. The suits of armor had been polished and had taken to singing Christmas carols, though Peeves the Poltergeist had elected to insert his own choice words into the songs and they were generally rude words. As a result of this, Mr. Filch could be seen chasing the Poltergeist out of the suits for hours on end. Some of the teachers, Professor Flitwick the most prominent among them, had decorated their classrooms for Christmas with wreaths and holly.

"What are you three doing for the holidays?" Remus asked one day at breakfast. It was a Saturday morning, two days before the full moon, and Remus was looking as peaky as ever. There were dark patches under his eyes that stood out particularly on his white face. He had not been sleeping well lately, and it was showing.

"Well," Sirius began in a business-like fashion, setting aside his dish of fried tomatoes and bacon. "I will be venturing to London where I will proceed to burn down Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place. Who wants to join me?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Who's not doing anything illegal?"

James stepped in before Sirius could say anything else ridiculous. It was best not to irritate Remus Lupin so close to the full moon. "What did you have in mind?"

"My parents invited you guys and your families to come to our place, if you're not already doing anything, that is."

James shook his head, grinning. "I don't think my parents were planning anything special. I'll write to them."

Remus nodded happily. "What about you, Pete?"

Peter shrugged. "I'll write to my parents and see."

Smiling, James stood up and bid his friends farewell. He was heading to the Quidditch Pitch to get a bit of flying practise in. Laughing to himself, he left to the cries of 'mental!' issued from Sirius's mouth. Sirius couldn't understand James's complete obsession with Quidditch. Sirius loved the sport, but James took it all to a new level entirely. Peter mumbled something about getting some research for his Transfiguration paper done in the library and also disappeared. Now it was only Remus and Sirius who sat at the table.

"What do you want to do today?" Remus asked, spooning his uneaten porridge around in his dish. It was cold now and looked very unappetizing.

There was an unusual amount of seriousness in Sirius's voice when he made his suggestion. "Go hex Professor Finely until he cries?"

Remus's brow furrowed. When Sirius wanted to hex someone, it was usually Snape. "Any particular reason why?"

Sirius did not answer right away; he merely stood up and dragged Remus with him. Completely bewildered, Remus followed, trying to match Sirius's quick step. Sirius led him into an unused classroom just off the Entrance Hall and slammed the door shut with unusual force. "Sirius?" Remus chanced uncertainly. He wasn't sure what Sirius was so upset about, but he knew it had to do with him.

"When are you going to tell Dumbledore?" Sirius barked impatiently, crossing the room until he was standing right in front of Remus.

"Tell Dumbledore what?"

"That Finely is threatening you!"

Of course Sirius was upset about this. He had been harping Remus about it on and off ever since school began. But Remus did not want to trouble the Headmaster with this. Remus already had caused Dumbledore enough trouble. His acceptance into this school was work enough for the man. Sirius, on the other hand, though Dumbledore would _want _to hear this. Sirius kept insisting that this would be a repeat of fourth year if his friend said nothing, yet Remus had to disagree. There was no rabid werewolf on his tail this time. He doubted Finely had enough spine to act on his words. "I don't want to bother Dumbledore about it," he muttered, throwing himself down into one of the empty chairs.

Sirius's jaw tightened. "Dumbledore would _want_ to be bothered with this! I know what Finely said is bothering you." When Remus said nothing, Sirius's eyes widened and he continued. "You see! You haven't been sleeping at all lately and it's because you're worried. Sweet Merlin, I've shared a room with you for six years, I think I know when you're worried. You're not sleeping because you know what Finely said is true!"

Remus spoke through clenched teeth. "Finely won't _do_ anything about it."

"How can you be so naïve?"

"He's had all this time to do something and he hasn't! If he really believes Voldemort will use me, he would have seen to it that it happened by now. But _nothing's_ happened!"

Sirius's fists tightened at his sides. When he next spoke, he sounded as if he was casually talking about the weather. "Do you remember that time when we were fourteen and there was a crazy werewolf who wanted to do you in and he didn't do it until May but we knew about it in September? Ha… I don't think this situation is any different, Remus!"

Remus gritted his teeth and he turned to stare out the window. "Just forget about it, Sirius." There was a clear warning in his voice.

"Why? Why do you want me to forget about it?"

"Because I don't want to think about it!"

"So it _is_ bothering you!"

"No! I know there's always going to be someone out there wanting to make my life hell. I've learned to accept it."

Sirius looked at him dubiously. He didn't believe a word of it, but he was not going to question him any more about it. Not for another few weeks, anyway. He simply shrugged. "C'mon, let's go stop James from getting frost bite."

* * *

The Lupin house was not very large to begin with and now, with seven extra people squeezed into it, there was hardly any room to move at all. Each group of people – the men, the women and the boys – had selected one room to hide in the entire time. The men were occupying the sitting room, while the women found themselves in the kitchen. The boys had taken refuge in Remus's bedroom, staring through the railings, watching as Harry, Charles and John were locked in a fierce battle of wits – Gobstones. Each one of the men had put in five Galleons, which would go to whoever won the match. So far, they were at a stalemate. It didn't seem that any of them would win and this game would go on well into the evening hours. They had already been at it for an hour and a half.

"Why don't you just give up?" James suggested loudly. Surely the men would realise there would be no winner proclaimed and this game was a waste of time.

Charles glanced up at his son and shook his head vigorously. "Sorry, James, we're finishing this."

Harry nodded eagerly, pointing to the pile of Galleons on the table. "I'm not leaving until I get my fifteen Galleons."

John laughed loudly and elbowed Harry in the ribcage. "You mean we're not leaving until I get _my_ fifteen Galleons, Harry."

Remus chuckled and leaned back from the railings. "I think I figured out where we get our betting habits from."

"What was that, Remus?" Harry called from down below.

"Nothing, Dad." Remus stood up and crossed the room so he could sit on his bed. Shaking his head exasperatedly, he said to his friends, "Honestly, they're worse than we are."

"I dunno," Sirius said fairly, looking over his shoulder so he could partially see into the downstairs, though he could only make out the tops of the men's heads. "They've never bet on how a teacher will leave school."

James scowled. Sirius was never going to let them forget that he had won that time. "I still can't believe you won that."

Sirius grinned broadly. "And I'm still enjoying those Galleons."

"Stuff it, Padfoot," Peter muttered.

When it became evident that the men were not going to finish their game within the next century, the boys abandoned Remus's room and wandered into the kitchen, where they were met with Anna, Hannah and Maggie. Anna was standing at the stove; a pot of water was boiling on the stovetop. Hannah and Maggie were insisting that they could do everything by magic and get it done faster, but Anna wouldn't hear it. She didn't want her guests lifting a finger or, in their case, a wand.

"Mum, why don't you just let them do it by magic?" Remus said, sitting down at the kitchen table.

Anna turned to face her son. As she did this, she failed to witness Hannah jabbing her wand in the direction of the pot of boiling water. The water came to a full boil instantly. "They're our guests… Remus, what are you looking at?"

Remus quickly tore his eyes away from the steam rising from the pot and stared innocently at his mother. "Nothing, Mum."

Anna eyed her son suspiciously, but went back to her cooking. She was, indeed, surprised to see the water bubbling fiercely. She did not, however, discover the source of it. "Would you look at that," she commented quietly.

"Have you boys finished wrapping your presents?" Maggie inquired.

"We're trying to," Peter told his mother with a hint of annoyance in his voice. "But _someone_ keeps trying to see what he's getting."

"Am not," Sirius muttered defensively.

"Then why did you keep looking over my shoulder when I was wrapping your gift?" Peter challenged.

"I have wandering eyes."

"James and Remus don't do that."

"James and Remus actually like being surprised. I like _ruining_ the surprise."

James snorted and turned to Peter and Remus. "Remember third year?" Their third year had been when James, Peter and Remus pooled their money together to buy a phonograph for Sirius, as he had liked Remus's so much. He so appropriately ruined the surprise by barging into the dormitory and, more or less, demanding to see what they were hiding. Needless to say, the three boys were not pleased with him at all.

"I knew what I was getting already," Sirius said, shrugging. "I don't see why you cared that I saw it."

"It's the principle of the thing, Sirius," Remus said. Sirius scoffed.

Just then there were two groans of defeat and one shout of delight from the next room and then the flinging of what sounded like gold coins. Charles and Harry entered the kitchen, looking defeated and covered in smelly, sticky sap. John emerged behind them, grinning widely and carrying a handful of Galleons. "I won!" he announced cheerfully.

The three women gave each other exasperated looks. Each pair of eyes clearly said: _Men… _Harry and Charles pointed their wands at their faces and siphoned the sap off, still appearing to be highly disappointed. John watched them gleefully. "We're going to chop down the tree," Harry announced. "Are you boys coming?"

James grinned and looked at his father. "Are you going to turn _that_ into a competition too?"

Charles frowned at his son. "What are you getting at James?"

James shrugged nonchalantly. "I was just thinking… if you _did_ turn this into a competition, I bet the four of us could get a better tree than you three."

The three men exchanged curious looks before their faces broke into competitive grins. Charles cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes challengingly at his son. "You have a challenge, James."

* * *

James, Remus, Sirius and Peter sat on a particularly long log in the middle of the forest, staring angrily at the dozens of likely Christmas trees that surrounded them. Their fathers had vanished to some unknown part of the woods with their wands, ready to chop down the first tree they saw with magic. The boys, on the other hand, were staring at the long, jagged blades on the saw Harry had provided them with. None of the boys would dare touch it; for fear that they might accidentally chop off one of their limbs. They were sure their mothers would not appreciate their sons coming home with vital body parts missing and the boys were in no mood to deal with blood spillage.

"You do it," James said to Sirius, nodding at the saw with wary eyes.

Sirius instinctively backed away from the sharp, metal object. "No way, Prongs. I'm not losing a foot." Sirius then smirked and turned to Remus. "Moony… what do you think about chopping down the tree?"

"I think you should do it," Remus replied calmly, returning the smirk. "Do you agree, Wormtail?"

Peter nodded once.

James tried pushing Sirius towards the saw, but Sirius resisted. "No way, Prongs. I'm not going near that thing." Sirius stepped off the log and stood behind his friends, wanting to keep the distance between himself and the sharp object far. "You know, your dads are cheating."

Remus narrowed his eyes in the direction that their fathers had taken earlier. "I hate admitting it, but Sirius is right."

"Thank you, Remus."

"If they were playing fairly, they'd have to use one of these things too."

James suddenly jumped off the log. Without a word to his friends, he sped off through the snowy forest. When he returned, it was with the three men, who were looking rather confused. James brought them to the log where Remus and Peter were sitting and Sirius was standing behind. "Something wrong, James?" Harry asked knowingly.

"Why are _we_ stuck with the mental Muggle blade?" James demanded. "I thought this was a fair bet?"

The three men shifted guiltily in their spots, avoiding each others' eyes. They had thought the boys wouldn't notice the unfair advantage in the situation. Now that the boys had, the men didn't see what the big deal was. It wasn't as though they were betting any money; the loser of the bet only had to clean up after dinner on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, in the Muggle fashion. The men just thought to have a bit of fun with their sons. Whoever chopped down the best tree first would get to watch the losers lament their lot the entire night. Unfortunately, the boys weren't going to fall for the men's trick.

"Well… you see, we don't have another saw," John said, keeping his eyes averted from the accusing ones of the sixteen year olds.

"And _we're_ not allowed to use magic," James said, staring determinedly into the eyes of his father.

The men turned their backs on the boys and conferred in quiet voices, obviously debating if they would be able to get the tree down with one of those Muggle objects. The fact that they only had one of them didn't help the men either. They couldn't exactly make a scramble for the saw either, as it would result in one of them getting his hands bloodied up. Nothing quite spoke the opposite of Christmas cheer than profusely bleeding hands. But the boys weren't going to take cleanup duty so easily if it wasn't a fair fight.

"Fine," Harry said as the men revolved on the spot to face the boys. "How do you suggest we go about deciding who gets the saw?"

"One from each side pulls a hair out of Remus's head and whoever gets the grey one gets the saw?" Sirius suggested cheerfully.

"I don't think so," Remus said loudly, stepping backwards and covering his head. He was glad Sirius was having fun with his prematurely greying hair.

"Yes, Sirius, please don't turn my son bald," Harry said, grinning good-naturedly. "I was thinking more of who pulls the shortest stick loses?"

"Don't you need someone objective to hold the sticks?" James queried curiously. He did not believe for a moment that anyone standing in that clearing would play honestly. Mrs. Lupin was cooking a feast and a feast involved many dishes to clean.

"Good point," John admitted. "Staring contest?"

Harry and Charles shrugged, as well as the four boys. A staring contest was as good a suggestion as any. Besides, it was cold and none of them wanted to spend any more time out in the freezing cold. Now the only task that remained was deciding who would go against whom. Sirius was out of the question, as he would think of something funny and would lose his concentration. James had long ago perfected the art of staring off into space, but he doubted he would be able to stare without blinking for a long time against one of the men. His excuse was that when he stared into space, he had no idea he wasn't blinking. If he knew he wasn't blinking, he would be tempted to blink. So this left Remus and Peter. Since Remus did not think he could handle the never-ending tirade of 'why did you blink?' from Sirius if he lost, Peter was going to take one for the team.

Charles was going for the men; he was prepared to do whatever it took to stay off cleaning duty for the next two days. He had the strong suspicion that if it was the boys who had to clean, the women might go easier on them. Something about mothers and their sons… If it was himself, Harry and John who were stuck with the cleaning, it was likely that the women would be merciless. They would leave stacks upon stacks of dirty dishes and silverware in the sink. The women would claim the men had no right to bet with their sons, even though it had been James's idea in the first place.

Charles and Peter sat down on the log and blinked rapidly, trying to rid themselves of the need to for as long as the contest ran. At Sirius's count of three, the contest began. Harry and John cheered Charles on, begging him to save them from the depths of the kitchen sink. Sirius, James and Remus were completely silent, on the other hand. They said nothing at all to Peter. It wasn't because they didn't want Peter to win. Their silence was the greatest sign that they wanted Peter to win. They knew he would lose his concentration if they cheered him on.

The men, however, did not know that Charles would lose _his_ concentration because they were cheering him on. After a minute, his eyes watery and stinging, he succumbed to the temptation to blink.

"Yes!" James, Remus and Sirius shouted, each grabbing Peter by the shoulder and shaking him gleefully. "Thank you, Peter!" James cheered. He hurried over to the saw and beckoned his friends over. "Now we shall chop down the perfect Christmas tree and laugh as our fathers watch and think about the load of work they'll have for the next two days."

James, Sirius and Remus made an instant beeline towards a tree they had had their eyes on earlier, but were too reluctant to chop down. They still were not keen on the idea of using the Muggle device and realised that this had been their initial apprehension – they wouldn't chop the tree down because they were scared of losing a few fingers in the process. They had been distracted enough by the injustice that their fathers got to use magic that they completely forgot about their fear. Until now. Now they were confronted with the sharp blade of the saw.

They had had a staring contest for no reason – they still had to chop the tree down with that bloody saw. What a waste of time that had been.

"James, you do it," Sirius said, jerking his head towards the spot in the snow where the saw lay.

"What?" James yelped in an exceptionally high-pitched voice. Clearing his throat, he went on. "Why… why do you want me to do it? I'm sure Remus would chop down the best tree."

"Sorry, no chance," Remus said swiftly. "I think I get bloodied up enough on a regular basis, better I don't get hurt on a day when I don't have to." He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Peter, why don't you try your hand at it?"

Peter's eyes widened. "But… but I won the staring contest! I've done my work for the day."

"You know, boys, we'd be happy to chop the tree down for you," Harry offered from behind them. There was a tone in his voice that the boys knew at once was amusement. Clearly the men were enjoying themselves.

"You would?" James asked hopefully.

"Of course… except… there would be a price."

The boys glanced uneasily at each other. They knew what was coming, yet their apprehension of the sharp blade was greater than their reluctance to do housework. "Fine," James said, stepping aside to give the men a clear path to the tree. "Have fun mocking us tonight."

* * *

Indeed, the men did have a nice evening, chortling quietly as their sons cleared the dishes and washed them in the sink, Muggle style. The women did go easier on their sons than they would have if it was the men, but the boys did still have a significant amount of work. While James, Sirius, Remus and Peter roamed in and out of the parlor at regular increments, gathering the silverware, the men loudly congratulated the women on a spectacular dinner. The boys, on the other hand, grumbled that there could have been less of it. There was no reason for ten people to have multiple puddings. It only made more silverware and dishes for them to clear up.

The boys continued to grumble mutinously as they scrubbed the seemingly never-ending contents of the sink, their hands closely resembling prunes now. Luckily, this was the last of the cleaning and then they were reprieved, for the night anyway. Tomorrow evening they would be in the same position, lamenting their lot even worse. Moaning rather dramatically, the four boys threw in the towel – both literally and figuratively – and trouped into the sitting room, where their parents were currently passing around some gifts. They had decided the adults would open their gifts on Christmas Eve and the boys could open whatever they chose to give each other. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter sat in front of the Christmas tree, rubbing their aching hands. They now sympathized with Muggles more than they ever had.

"That's the last time I ever make a bet with you, Dad," James moaned to his father, who was admiring a wool scarf his wife had knitted for him.

Charles smiled lightly and wrapped the scarf up into a neat ball before replacing it in the box and thanking his wife. "That, my son, is step one on your way to being free of your gambling habit."

James frowned and glanced at his friends. "I wasn't aware you were trying to cure us of a habit."

Harry, who was busy passing out presents to his company, chuckled heartily. "Oh, the three of us decided that you were as we were heading to the woods earlier."

"Nice to know how much faith our fathers have in us," James lamented.

Harry shook his head. "If we let you four have your way, you would have no money left in Gringotts to survive."

Sirius sat up straighter and looked at Harry. "I disagree. _I_ would have all _their_ money because they lost all of it to me."

Remus sighed exasperatedly. "You won _one_ bet, Sirius, get over it."

"Yeah, but that was one important bet."

"Like the rest of us knew Kern would leave the school doing back flips," Peter grumbled.

The boys eventually ceased their mutinous mutterings about the bet they had had with their fathers and instead concentrated on the gifts Harry was handing to everyone. Remus could not help but roll his eyes at part of the gift Sirius had given him – a pamphlet on how to keep his hair from greying and balding. The rest of the gift, a set of colour-changing ink, pleased him much more. Sirius had great fun with the deck of self-shuffling cards, while James sat admiring his set of new Gobstones and Peter sorted through his new assortment of sweets.

A little after eleven in the evening the adults went up to bed, warning the boys that if they weren't asleep by midnight, they would be forced asleep. John Pettigrew jokingly added that the boys would need their rest for the next day of cleaning.

"We should've just chopped the bloody tree down," Sirius said quietly once the men walked out of the room. He yawned widely and stretched his arms out behind his head. "It's not as if we would've chopped our hands off."

"We could have," Peter contradicted worriedly.

"No, we wouldn't have," Sirius insisted. Then he went on a more serious note. "Anyway, nothing strange has happened this year yet. No deaths, I mean."

By now it had almost become tradition for there to be a mysterious death by the time Christmas came around. The only death that occurred was Alphard Black, but that was by natural causes. Usually the death was unexplainable. This year, however, there was nothing of the sort and Sirius could not help but be worried by that. He expected he should have been relieved, but he wasn't.

Remus nodded. "Let's be grateful about that." He stood up and led the way towards the stairs. "C'mon, our dads are right. We're going to be cleaning all day tomorrow, might as well get some sleep."

* * *

**_Excerpt from Chapter Fifty Eight: The Descent Begins_**

Sirius and Remus explained what Professor Finely was doing and, by the time they had finished, James was livid. A professor was trying to persuade one of his students to join Voldemort and was threatening his life if he didn't? Where did Finely get off doing that? He had no right. James was seething. "Are you bloody serious?"

"He tried getting Wormtail to convince him!" Sirius raged.

James rounded on Remus. "Did he tell Peter anything about what he wanted you to do?"

"No and I don't want Peter to know," Remus insisted firmly. "He'll worry too much."

James folded his arms across his chest. "And what do you think the two of us will do?"

"I don't know but you won't worry like Peter will and I don't want to do that to him."


	58. The Descent Begins

Chapter Fifty Eight  
The Descent Begins

"Honestly… I think James is the most mental of all the Quidditch captains."

"I dunno… Cory Hamilton was pretty bad."

"Not as bad as James." Sirius led the way over to the nearest window and jerked his hand towards it. The windows were frosted over from the subzero temperatures outside and almost impossible to see out of. Remus and Peter looked out, their breath further fogging the glass, and saw the grounds blanketed in the mid-February snow. In the distance, there were seven tiny blurs darting about the air. "Hamilton never made them practise in four feet of snow!"

"It's also negative three degrees," Peter added absentmindedly, turning away from the window.

Remus raised an eyebrow at him. Folding his arms across his chest and leaning against the cold stone wall, he queried, "How do you know that?"

Peter shrugged. "I don't… I'm just saying it's really cold."

The three boys moved away from the window and closer to the warm torches hanging on the stone walls. James had indeed been captured by the lethal fever that was Quidditch. It happened to every Quidditch captain, but James had held out for a long time. The only time he was obsessive over it was when he was forming his new team. Once tryouts ended, he seemed fairly normal. Not any longer. James had his team practising constantly; he wanted to beat Slytherin in the next match and beat them badly. This coming match would decide who was facing Ravenclaw in the finals. But the game wasn't until the end of March! As the three wandered down the second floor corridor, they suddenly found themselves walking towards a familiar and much loathed Slytherin.

"Snape," the three said simultaneously, though Sirius's scathing tone was the most noticeable of the three.

"Black, Lupin, Pettigrew," Snape responded, eyeing them coldly. Bracing themselves for whatever Snape wanted and ready to return it if it was foul, the boys were quite surprised when the Slytherin continued on his way. They did, however, notice that his eyes were following something that was behind them. Slowly revolving on the spot, the three were met with the sight of Professor Finely. Their hearts automatically sank. Professor Finely had been particularly cruel lately, desecrating any student who bothered him even the slightest bit. What did he want with them?

"Hullo, Professor," Peter chanced. It was best to let Peter handle the speaking, as Professor Finely did not despise Peter, something they had never been able to figure out. They didn't mind this, though. Most professors were harsh with Peter; it was good to have at least one who didn't speak badly to him every day. They wished it was another professor other than this one, but they could do nothing about it.

Professor Finely offered Peter what they supposed passed for a smile. His tone was brisk and official. "Peter, I've come to speak with you actually. Would you come with me to my office?"

Sirius had half a mind to yell for Peter not to do it, that he would never come back alive, but he bit his tongue. It was not the best of ideas, at least not in front of the professor. Not having any reason to decline, Peter followed Professor Finely as he led the way towards his office, not looking back at his friends.

Brow furrowed, Sirius turned to Remus. "What was that about?"

Remus shrugged. In truth, he was extremely grateful that Finely only wanted to talk to Peter and not him. He was in no mood to hear about how he would be murdered in his sleep if he didn't join the Dark Lord like all the other _good_ werewolves. He was also in no mood to hear Sirius complain that Remus should have told Dumbledore about all of this by now. "Dunno." He began in the direction of Gryffindor Tower. "I've got homework."

Sirius folded his arms across his chest and watched as Remus quickened his pace down the corridor. Sirius knew what his friend was thinking and why he was leaving so swiftly. If Remus stayed there any longer, Sirius would have started pestering him about the whole Finely situation. Sirius didn't think he was pestering his friend at all; he was only concerned for his safety. Luckily, Finely would do nothing bad to Peter. He wasn't sure why the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor had taken a liking to the boy, but he had and it kept Peter safe.

Now if only _all_ of his friends were safe.

* * *

"Moony, could I talk to your for a second."

"Sure, Wormtail. Oh, what did Finely want, anyway?"

"That's… that's what I needed to talk to you about."

Peter had sought out Remus first in the common room, having heard from Sirius that Remus had gone to do homework, but he wasn't there. So Peter ventured up the stairs and into the sixth year dormitory and found his friend sitting on his bed, organising some photos in his album, his homework lying forgotten beside him. Frank had just gone down to dinner, greeting Peter as he went out, and now the room was otherwise deserted. Peter was standing in the doorway, looking distinctly uncomfortable, as if he didn't want to enter the conversation he was about to enter. Remus saw this and frowned concernedly. What was making Peter sway from left to right like that?

"What's up, Pete?"

Peter continued shifting his weight from foot to foot, unable to meet Remus's eyes. He didn't want to answer this question, but he had no choice. The professor had asked him to talk to Remus about this. "Finely… he wanted me to ask you if you've… if you've considered his offer."

Remus's eyes widened. He could hardly believe that had come out of Peter's mouth. _When_ was this going to end? Finely had to give up, he _had_ to give up eventually. Remus thought he would have to! He couldn't carry this on for much longer. But Finely wasn't giving up and now he had brought it closer to Remus than he ever had. Professor Finely had gone so far as to ask one of Remus's best friends to force him into this. Remus could see that Peter didn't seem to know what Finely's offer was. This relieved him, though only a little. "D-did he tell you what he meant by that?" Remus asked tentatively.

Peter shook his head. It had bothered him that he did not know this information, yet was asked to speak to his friend about it. "He wouldn't say."

Remus let out a breath slowly, staring down at his photo album. He knew what was coming next. Peter was going to ask what Finely was talking about. Remus couldn't say this surprised him; he would do the same thing if he were in Peter's position.

And Peter did just that. "Remus… what was Finely talking about?"

Remus shook his head dismissively and threw his legs over the edge of his bed, gathering up his photo album and stacks of photos. There was no reason to worry Peter. "Nothing important, Wormtail. Really, don't worry about it."

"But he made it _seem_ like it was important."

"It's _not_. Trust me."

Had it been James or Sirius, they would have pressed the matter, refusing to listen to Remus's insistence that they needn't worry. They would have asked and asked until Remus caved in just to make them stop. Peter, however, made no further mention of it. Remus asked if his friend was going down to dinner and, when Peter declined, Remus shrugged and hurried down into the common room. Peter waited until Remus had completely shut the dormitory door before sitting down on his own bed, staring at the door with narrowed eyes.

Why wouldn't Remus trust him with this information? Peter was sure Remus had told someone. Peter was sure Sirius knew; Sirius always knew what was going on with Remus before any of them did. That was the friendship those two had, hardly anything was off limits. James would know before he did, if he didn't know already, Peter was certain of that. Peter knew James and Sirius were privy to whatever was going on and he, Peter, was left out in the dark. Why did this always happen? Those three seemed to trust each other more than they trusted him and he didn't like it.

Peter didn't like it at all.

* * *

"Remus, what's up?"

Sirius had never seen Remus look so urgent in his entire life. Remus looked as if he would self-combust if he didn't tell Sirius something right away. He literally dragged Sirius out of the Great Hall, away from his dinner, and into the vacant Entrance Hall. Remus looked around, eyes narrowing into every darkened corner to make sure that no one could be listening. When he was sure there were absolutely no stragglers in the Entrance Hall, he turned to Sirius. "He's trying to get _Peter_ to convince me!"

For a moment, Sirius had no idea what Remus was talking about. Who was trying to get Peter to convince Remus about what? Then he recalled Professor Finely asking to speak with Peter earlier. Sirius's expression immediately became enraged. "_What?_" he asked heatedly and loudly.

Remus motioned for Sirius to lower his voice. When he spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper. "You were right, Sirius. I should have told Dumbledore about this, ages ago."

Had this been under any other circumstances, Sirius might have done a victory dance because Remus finally admitted he was _wrong_. But this was not the appropriate time for dancing. "So go to him _now!_ You've got to tell Dumbledore! Remus, if Finely's trying to get your _friends_ to convince you to join that loony; you've got to do something about it!"

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"You walk up to Dumbledore's office and tell him, 'Professor Dumbledore, sir, one of my professors is trying to persuade me to join Voldemort!' Pretty easy, I think."

"But Dumbledore hired this man and he _trusts_ him!"

"Dumbledore's made mistakes before." Sirius knew that Remus would have no arguement for this. Professor Dumbledore had made mistakes when it came to who he hired for their Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers. First he hired Professor Crane, who had made it his life mission to torment all his students mercilessly. Then there was Professor Twikom, who wasn't a bad woman, but spineless enough to allow her relative Fenrir Greyback to attack one of her students. Dumbledore had made mistakes. Dumbledore gave his trust where it shouldn't have been given. Now was no different than the other instances.

Remus's voice was even quieter when he next spoke. "I don't even know where Dumbledore's office is."

"Go ask McGonagall, I'm sure she would tell you. If you explained to her what Finely's trying to do, she would-"

"_What_ am I trying to do, Mr. Black?"

The two boys froze at the cold voice of Professor Finely, who was standing right behind Remus. Sirius could see the bleak coldness in the man's eyes and knew that he had at least heard the last bit of their conversation. "H-hullo, Professor," Sirius greeted, trying his best to sound casual. Inside, however, Sirius's blood boiled. This was _exactly_ the type of person he had run away from over the summer. Now he was confronted with this kind of person again at Hogwarts, one of the only places he could escape to.

Professor Finely would not be distracted by simple pleasantries. "I asked you, Mr. Black, _what_ am I trying to do?"

Sirius had half a mind to tell Professor Finely precisely what he was going to do, but Remus hissed in his ear to drop it. Sirius bit his bottom lip in frustration. _Why_ was Remus so bloody insistent for him to forget about it? Well, Sirius _wasn't _going to drop it. "You're trying to force my friend into doing something that makes him uncomfortable," Sirius said hotly.

The corners of Finely's mouth turned up. "Is that so, Mr. Black?"

"Yes, it is."

"I wasn't aware it was any of your business what your friend does."

"He's my friend and I'm _making_ it my business!"

"Sirius!" Finely and Sirius turned to Remus, who was looking more than angry. His eyes were sharp and glaring directly at the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. "Professor Finely, the answer is _no!_" He must have said it before, he knew he must have. Obviously the Professor did not understand this, so he was forced to say it again.

Professor Finely merely stared at Remus with very little surprise in his expression. He had known the Lupin boy would decline the offer, but it never hurt to push him until he succumbed. Clearly, however, the boy was too idiotic for words. "Fine, Lupin. It is your decision, foolish as it may be."

Professor Finely studied the two boys for another brief moment before whipping around and stalking off towards the dungeons, his long black cloak billowing behind him. Remus and Sirius watched the professor disappear down the stone steps and were only broken out of their trance by James's loud voice coming in from the outside.

"Sweet Merlin, it's cold out there!" James was pink in the face and snow was dispersed liberally through his mass of black hair. James ruffled his hair, ridding it of the snowflakes. His eyes traveled from Remus and Sirius and the smile that had been on his face melted away. "What's up?"

"Professor Finely," Remus and Sirius spat simultaneously.

"What did he do now?" Every student they knew despised the man, but Remus and Sirius seemed to hate him the most out of everyone. There had to be a decent reason.

Sirius and Remus explained what Professor Finely was doing and, by the time they had finished, James was livid. A _professor_ was trying to persuade one of his students to join Voldemort and was threatening his life if he didn't? Where did Finely get off doing that? He had no right. James was seething. "Are you bloody _serious?_"

"He tried getting _Wormtail_ to convince him!" Sirius raged.

James rounded on Remus. "Did he tell Peter anything about what he wanted you to do?"

"No and I don't want Peter to know," Remus insisted firmly. "He'll worry too much."

James folded his arms across his chest. "And what do you think the two of us will do?"

"I don't know but you won't worry like Peter will and I don't want to do that to him."

James's jaw was set, but he made no further mention of the subject. He simply shook his head once and led the way to Gryffindor Tower without another word to either of his friends. Was there ever going to be a time when someone wasn't trying to give them hell? Where did these people get off trying to persuade students into joining a group like that? The three walked in complete silence all the way up to the seventh floor and when they entered the Gryffindor common room, it was to see a disgruntled Peter sitting in one of the best armchairs in the room.

"What's wrong, Wormtail?" Remus asked, sitting down in the armchair beside Peter's and watching him concernedly.

Peter's eyes darted towards Remus and back to the tabletop he was currently staring at. There was detectable anger within him, though he tried not to show it. "Nothing," Peter mumbled tonelessly, slouching further in his seat.

"You look mad about something."

Peter got up from his seat and made a beeline to the spiral staircase leading to the dormitories. "Well, I'm not. I'm going to bed, 'night."

The three watched as Peter shuffled up the steps, not giving one of them a second glance. When Peter was gone completely, Remus raised an eyebrow at James and Sirius. "What d'you think is wrong with him?"

Sirius shrugged dismissively, dropping onto the couch. "Who knows?"

"He looked upset."

"Maybe he's just mad at Finely," James suggested. It made sense, he thought. Who would want to have a professor like that? But Peter never seemed to mind the man, sometimes it appeared that Peter liked the man, or at least he didn't detest him as his classmates did.

Remus considered this for a moment. Peter didn't appear to have been upset earlier when they spoke. Peter just looked confused. He didn't know what Finely was talking about and Remus wouldn't tell him either. It was only natural that he should be a bit bemused. Perhaps Peter was upset because he was confused. Whatever the reason was, the three boys were sure Peter would tell them his troubles eventually.

* * *

The full moon shone brightly on the grounds of Hogwarts, which were almost near invisible to the troupe of four animals who delved deeper and deeper into the Forbidden Forest. There was so much uncharted territory the stag, dog, rat and werewolf had not broken into yet. The Forbidden Forest was one of them and they were eager to explore as much of it as possible. Granted they had entered this area of the grounds in human form, when it was dangerous for them to do so. Now, as animals, they could come and go as they pleased, as long as the rat was not accidentally stepped on by a centaur or a unicorn.

Speaking of centaurs, the Animagi and the werewolf did not notice the group of centaurs watching them angrily from the shield of trees. This was their forest and these animals were running amok in it. They did not approve of such things, especially because the three animals were in the company of a werewolf. Despite the rumors, there had never been an actual werewolf in the Forbidden Forest and the centaurs intended for it to stay that way. The centaurs watched silently, ready to rid the forest of these intruders if necessary. Luckily, it appeared, the animals were making their way out. This was good, in the centaurs' opinions. Better for them to harass the grounds of Hogwarts rather than the centaurs' hallowed home. Should the animals ever enter again, they would not leave as easily.

The stag, dog, rat and werewolf ran through one of the clearings in the forest and stopped for a moment. Silently they were able to communicate where they wanted to go. Should they move farther through the trees or further explore the area they had already come through? They knew they would have to head back to the Shrieking Shack soon, as the three Animagi didn't want to be around when their werewolf friend turned back into his human self. It was hard enough that they had heard him transform into a werewolf. Of course, the werewolf understood this entirely. If he was in their position, he wouldn't want to bear witness to it either.

Besides, Madam Pomfrey needed to come and collect him. She would be suspicious if Remus was not in the shack waiting for him.

Still, they had at least another hour and a half before the moon set and the sun began to rise. Now, they were free to run to their hearts' content - and this was exactly what they did. They chased each other about the clearing, growling and barking and squeaking happily. Nothing could stop them tonight; nothing could stop them from having their fun. There were no students or professors out on the grounds to distract the werewolf with their scent and no creatures of the Forbidden Forest were troubling them either. They had the night to themselves.

When it became evident that the sun was coming up soon, the group of animals trouped back to the Shrieking Shack. The stag, dog and rat transformed back into their human selves once they were completely out of reach of the Whomping Willow and shielded by James's Invisibility Cloak. It would look unusual for three sixteen year old boys to be awake so early on a Sunday morning. They snuck across the grounds in complete silence and it was only when they reached the castle doors that Sirius inhaled sharply and pulled James and Peter back.

"What the bloody hell was that?" James hissed.

Sirius said nothing, but jerked his head towards the now open double doors. Sirius distinctly recognised one of the figures now crossing the grounds as his younger brother. Regulus was walking with someone else they recognised as Severus Snape. The two were talking in voices too quiet to hear, even in the silence of the grounds, but Sirius knew at once that he would not like what he was about to hear. He didn't care though; he had to hear it anyway. Abandoning every safety measure they had, Sirius slid out from under the Invisibility Cloak, deaf to the warnings from James and Peter.

Sirius crept silently across the squishy morning grass, straining his ears to catch even the smallest of bits from this conversation Regulus and Snape were having. What would these two possibly be doing outside so early in the morning, anyhow? Especially _Snape_, he was a _Prefect_, after all. Snape also knew what the previous night was. How could he be so sure there wasn't a werewolf still wandering about the grounds? Regulus and Snape stopped just shy of the shore of the lake and Sirius hung back a good few feet, listening intently.

"You have a _true_ interest in what we're doing?" Snape had asked Regulus, his voice a mixture of excitement and foreboding.

Regulus's voice, on the other hand, sounded indignant. "Of course, Severus. Have you met me or my family?"

Snape scoffed. "I couldn't judge your _entire_ family."

"Trust me; Sirius _isn't_ a member of my family any longer."

As the back of Snape's head was facing Sirius, Sirius could not see the facial expression he was wearing, but he imagined it was a broad smirk.

"I'm sure your parents were _devastated _when he ran away over the summer," Snape said mockingly.

"Actually, my mother was upset about it." Sirius registered the tone of utter surprise in Regulus's voice. Of course Regulus would be shocked that his mother was upset that her eldest child had run away, but it was not for any good reasons that she was saddened. She was definitely not saddened because Sirius was gone and she could no longer see her son. She was upset because she and her husband had failed to convince one more person to follow their hideous ways of life.

Snape sneered. "She's probably gotten over it by now. I can't imagine anyone wanting _that_ in their house every day."

Regulus seemed to take comfort in Snape's taunts towards his older brother. "Yeah… she's gotten over it. Doesn't care about him. Anyway, back to what we were talking about?"

"Right, yes. I've spoken to Lucius Malfoy about it and he said that he believes you would be very welcomed."

Sirius had to keep the snarl rising in his throat down. Snape speaking with Lucius Malfoy only meant one thing. Sirius's mind instantly whirled back to his third year. He could easily see the scene in his mind's eye. He and Remus were heading to the Great Hall, intent on eating dinner, and he saw a twelve year old Regulus speaking with some of the Slytherins they had followed into the Forbidden Forest previously. In a rage, Sirius had followed those Slytherins into the forest and found out just what his younger brother was getting himself into.

Foolish as it was, Sirius never believed this would come to pass. Regulus was an idiot just like the rest of their family, but Sirius had always had some small amount of hope for him. Apparently that hope was shattered now.

"Good… that's good. What do I do to find out more about this?"

"I'll be in touch, or Lucius will be. It will probably be easier for you to speak with Lucius, as he _is_ your cousin's husband."

"Brilliant, I'll make sure to ask him about it the next time I see him." Regulus pulled his cloak tighter around himself and gestured for Snape to turn. They were heading back to the castle.

Eyes widening, Sirius immediately ran. He was not afraid of his brother, but he had no words to express how he was feeling and felt he might resort to hexing the brains out of the both of them. He would never hear the end of it from his parents if he hexed Regulus, as he had no doubt that Regulus would go running to Mummy and Daddy, crying about how his terrible big brother had hurt him. If he hexed Snape, this was just one more reason for Snape to reveal some knowledge he had to the public. Concealed by a tree, Sirius watched through narrowed eyes as the two Slytherins walked up the grassy slope, speaking in what had to be excited tones. Sirius felt his stomach clench painfully.

Once the two were safely inside the castle, Sirius rejoined James and Peter.

"What was that about?" James asked curiously. "You look mad."

Sirius's eyes darted to James as he seriously considered whether or not he should tell James and Peter what the conversation had been about. In the end, he couldn't bring himself to say exactly what had gone on. James and Peter would understand his meaning in just one sentence. "Regulus just ruined his life."

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Fifty Nine: The Marauder's Map**_

"What's your problem?" Sirius asked, throwing his quill down in defeat. He would finish the essay in the morning. He didn't care about the Cruciatus Curse anyway, unless someone was threatening him with it. At the moment, no one was, so he didn't care.

"D'you know what it's like having to patrol when every single couple in the school seems to have decided that tonight is the perfect night for snogging?" Remus snapped, pulling his book bag off his shoulder and dropping it unceremoniously on the table. He had his own homework to do.

Sirius laughed and looked away, his eyes falling on Peter's essay. He pretended to be enthralled with Peter's work. "No… no, I don't, Moony."

Remus narrowed his eyes at his friend, suggesting he knew something James and Peter didn't. "Why don't you tell Prongs and Wormtail what you were doing when you disappeared earlier this evening?"


	59. The Marauder's Map

Chapter Fifty Nine  
The Marauder's Map

Over the next few days Sirius watched his brother's every step carefully. Where once Sirius had made it his business to avoid Regulus at all costs, now he went out of his way to tail the Slytherin. As of yet, Sirius had not found out anything to his advantage. Regulus followed all his normal routines. He went to class, went to Quidditch practise, and he occasionally tutored a younger Slytherin girl in Transfiguration. He did nothing to suggest that he was taking part in Dark dealings, nothing to suggest he was furthering what he and Snape had discussed that day by the lake. But Sirius's unease was not settled by this. Regulus was going under the radar, he had to be. He was waiting until he was out of school to start doing whatever he and Snape had been discussing. Besides, the fifth year had his OWL exams coming up; he couldn't devote all of his time being a worthless Dark wizard.

Meanwhile, James, Remus and Peter did their best to keep Sirius's mind off of his little brother. They knew it was unhealthy for Sirius to dwell on something for too long. This usually resulted in him hexing someone into oblivion or driving himself up several dozen walls. Either of these results usually landed Sirius in detention for a good three weeks. James repeatedly dragged Sirius out to the Quidditch Pitch so Sirius could fly around on the school brooms. Peter was constantly asking for help on his homework assignments, knowing that, despite Sirius's overall dislike of schoolwork, he would offer his help. Remus entertained Sirius's many ideas of physically harming Professor Finely, knowing that Sirius would never actually execute them, but that he liked talking about them.

Eventually, Sirius was able to put the conversation he had overheard behind him, or at least pushed it out of his mind for a few hours at a time. There was no use in him forever going through it. He never came out with any other explanation except that his brother was a fool for listening to Snape. So, he left those thoughts behind. This was good enough for his friends; at least it prevented Sirius from taking his anger out on Regulus. They did not feel like having to be witnesses and offer up what they saw to any authority figures, or scrape Regulus's remains off the walls.

"Merlin, how the bloody hell am I supposed to tell time with this thing?" James lamented one morning late in March. He was staring down at his new gold watch his parents had sent him for his seventeenth birthday. It was a beautiful watch, he couldn't deny that, but it was utterly useless for telling time, unless he knew which planets meant which hour.

Sirius and Peter, who were busy trying to complete Professor Finely's two foot essay on the Cruciatus Curse, looked up and shook their heads. They didn't know how to read a watch like that, seeing as neither of them owned one.

"Remus!" James said when he noticed the portrait hole swing open. Remus had been out patrolling and did not look happy. He raised an eyebrow at James, letting him know that he was listening. "How do you tell time with this thing?"

Remus had gotten the very same watch from his own parents two weeks ago when he had come of age. It was tradition in the Wizarding World for every wizard to be given a watch with planets instead of numbers on it. Remus's watch was slightly careworn, whereas James's was brand new. Remus glanced down at his own wristband and shrugged. He hadn't been able to figure that out either.

"What's your problem?" Sirius asked, throwing his quill down in defeat. He would finish the essay in the morning. He didn't care about the Cruciatus Curse anyway, unless someone was threatening him with it. At the moment, no one was, so he didn't care.

"D'you know what it's like having to patrol when every single couple in the school seems to have decided that tonight is the perfect night for snogging?" Remus snapped, pulling his book bag off his shoulder and dropping it unceremoniously on the table. He had his own homework to do.

Sirius laughed and looked away, his eyes falling on Peter's essay. He pretended to be enthralled with Peter's work. "No… no, I don't, Moony."

Remus narrowed his eyes at his friend, suggesting he knew something James and Peter didn't. "Why don't you tell Prongs and Wormtail what you were _doing_ when you disappeared earlier this evening?"

Sirius's cheeks tinged red for the quickest of moments before he turned his head down again and mumbled some incoherent nonsense under his breath.

James and Peter would not be deterred by Sirius's quiet ramblings. The two exchanged interested looks and rounded on Sirius. "Yeah, _Sirius_," James began, his voice dripping with curiosity. "What _were_ you doing?"

"You were gone for a while," Peter added thoughtfully. Sirius had said that he was going to the kitchens to get something to eat, yet he hadn't come back with food. His excuse was that he had eaten it all on the way. While this wouldn't be surprising, it was still suspicious.

"Why don't _you_ tell them, Moony, since you were so kind to bring it up?" Sirius snarled, throwing Remus a nasty look.

Whatever Remus was going to say died in his throat when he got a look at the withering stare Sirius sent him. Instead, he mumbled something to himself and pulled out the large, folded sheath of parchment that was their map out. They had almost completed it; there were still some parts of the castle they were sure they had not charted. Remus also had to put the appropriate charms on it.

James, on the other hand, would not have his curiosity pushed to the side and continued to press the matter. "Were you with a pretty lady, Padfoot?"

Sirius closed his eyes for a moment, before swiveling them to James. He knew his friend would not drop this easily. "Until this git came in and told me to get back to the common room." He jerked an angry finger at Remus.

"It was past curfew," Remus shot back defensively. He had every right to send Sirius back to the common room. He may have hated it, but he _was_ a Prefect. "You're lucky that's _all_ I told you to do."

Sirius grinned challengingly, elbowing Remus in the ribs. "And what else would you have done? Given me lines? Sick Evans on me?"

"What about me?" Lily had just entered the common room, looking absolutely exhausted. Her hair looked as though she had pulled at it in frustration several times and there were the remnants of anger fizzling away in her eyes. She was not in a particularly cheerful mood. She had had to patrol with Severus Snape that night. At one time this would have made her happy, now she dreaded it. She wished she had gotten to patrol with Remus as she usually did, but he was patrolling with Jensen Patil, one of the Ravenclaw Prefects. Patil was much more lenient about punishments than Lily was.

"Nothing, Lily," James said quietly, scrawling down an answer to his Charms homework. "Sirius was just being Sirius."

Lily raised her eyebrows questioningly, but said nothing else. Her eyes drifted towards the map that Remus was studying. When Remus saw this, he hastened to cover it up. The last thing they needed was for Lily Evans to discover they had been constructing a map of the castle. Mostly importantly, it was a map that would allow them to sneak about the castle. Who knew what she would do with this information? Instead of continuing on what the boys were talking about, Lily's eyes rested on James, who felt her gaze and looked up questioningly.

"Yes, Lily?" he asked curiously, wondering what in Merlin's name he could have done now. He had been exceptionally well-behaved lately - by his standards, anyway. He had only ended up in detention twice in the past two weeks. She couldn't possibly have been watching him because he had done something wrong.

"No Quidditch practise tonight?" she asked, the amazement clear in her voice. The match was two days away and James had had his team practising every night for the past week and a half. A time when the Gryffindors were not seen flying through the air definitely qualified as a miracle.

James shook his head sadly. "Sammy Acres has got a bad cold and we can't play without him, but he'll be back tomorrow." James hoped he would be anyway, they couldn't play without one of their Beaters and the match was too close to halt practises a moment longer.

The corners of Lily's mouth turned down at the thought of the fourth year Beater being sick. It would certainly hurt Gryffindor's chances. "Happy belated birthday, James," she then said, nodding at the gold wristband on his wrist.

James could not stop his eyes from growing wide in mild surprise, but he pushed the smile onto his face with much ease. She had never before wished him a happy birthday. Well, not since first year when they had actually gotten along. He couldn't deny that he was shocked by this, but extraordinarily pleased about it. "Thanks," he said genuinely.

A small smile crossed Lily's lips. "No problem," she told him before joining Alice Gordon, who was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, and went up to the dormitory.

James watched her go with a bit of a dazed look in his eyes, something that Sirius was only too quick to point out. "Stuff it, Padfoot," James snapped, waving a fist in Sirius's general direction.

"We've lost him to Lily, I'm afraid," Sirius continued, shaking his head sadly ignoring James completely.

"You're just trying to get the attention off of yourself," James accused, snapping out of his daze. "I haven't forgotten what we were talking about before Lily walked in."

Sirius groaned angrily and rounded on Remus, who still appeared to be intent on the map. "You _had_ to bring that up, didn't you?"

Remus shrugged and looked up, grinning mischievously. "You should've given me something to keep my mouth shut."

"So it's bribery? Is that what our friendship has come to?"

Remus noticed the joking tone in Sirius's voice and nodded wholeheartedly. When he spoke, he made it sound as if he was pointing out the most obvious fact in the world. "Naturally, Padfoot. Did you think I was friends with you because I _liked_ you?"

"I always knew you had an ulterior motive."

"How's the map coming, Moony?" Peter asked suddenly, gesturing towards the parchment spread across his friend. If he didn't stop those two soon, Remus and Sirius would be going at it for a good twenty minutes. He didn't feel like listening to them.

"Almost done, I'd say," Remus deduced excitedly. He scanned through the thick folds of the parchment, looking at the different locations they had charted. They had certainly covered a lot of ground throughout the year, almost the entire castle, and he was certain they were only missing a few things. They had two of the common rooms – Gryffindor obviously, and they knew the Slytherin common room was in the dungeons somewhere, under the lake if they weren't mistaken. They had to draw the Slytherin common room first. The only things they were missing were the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff common rooms.

"What are we missing?" Peter asked anxiously. He didn't like to think that they had gone through all this work to be missing part of it.

"Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, we don't know where their common rooms are."

James rubbed his chin thoughtfully. It was true that they didn't know where those commons room were, but he wondered if they really _needed_ to know. "Maybe we should just leave them out," he suggested slowly.

"Leave them out?" Sirius repeated uncertainly. Was James losing hope in this map they had created?

"Yeah, we don't really need to have them on the map, do we?" James reasoned. "We have nothing against them; we don't really need to know where they live when they're not in class." He wasn't planning on pranking any unsuspecting Ravenclaws or Hufflepuffs and he was sure he friends weren't either.

"But we were going to put the Slytherin common room in. Are you saying we should leave them out too?" Sirius asked, outraged. He couldn't possibly pass up the chance to have unlimited knowledge of the Slytherin common room.

James laughed. "Of _course_ not! We're putting _them_ in. Imagine, knowing where Snivelly is at all times? He'd never have another quiet moment."

While James and Sirius dreamed up different ways in which they could torment Snape, Remus peered down at the extensive map they had drawn up. It was something, really. It was amazing that they had managed to put most of the castle down. There were some things, however, that wouldn't stay on the map. The Room of Requirement, for instance, absolutely refused to stay on the map. Sirius was the one who tried drawing it and every time he did, it vanished. The four decided that maybe this particular room was never meant to be mapped and left it alone. Besides, half the fun of that room was the surprise when the door suddenly appeared amongst the stone wall.

Sirius was also staring at the map, deep in thought. It was a brilliant creation of theirs, even if the idea had come from a stupid joke he had made. But there was something missing. As astounding as this map was, it was also dangerous. They had the locations of every student in the castle and if this map fell into the wrong hands, those people would be at the mercy of some loony. They couldn't do that to the students they had nothing against. This was also incredibly incriminating – to the four of them. If anyone, especially the professors, found them with this map, they would be in detention for the rest of their lives, even after they graduated.

They needed a way to mask the map, make it look like it was just a spare bit of parchment.

"What do you three say to hiding what this is?" Sirius asked, pulling the wand out from under Remus's arms. He examined the thing, admiring it as if it was his own child.

"How do you mean?" Peter asked confusedly.

"I mean… we need to Charm this so no one can see it when we don't want them to."

"A Revealing Spell, you mean?" Remus asked, sitting up straighter.

"If that's what it's called, then yes."

"How do we do that?" Peter asked, looking from Sirius to Remus, hoping one of them had some idea.

"It's simple enough, you just cast the spell," Remus began to explain. "And, if we choose, we can have a special phrase or something to say when we want to activate the map."

"Like 'All Slytherins are prats'?" James suggested eagerly.

"Yeah… or something not nearly as insulting."

"Open sesame?" Peter suggested jokingly. He frowned when James and Sirius rolled their eyes at him. "Okay, then, what do _you_ suggest?" he asked heatedly.

"Merlin, calm down, Wormtail," Sirius said, waving a hand at the boy. "No need to get your knickers in a bunch. Anyway…what if we do something like 'I'm up to no good'? That's partly the reason we made this map, isn't it?"

"That's _entirely_ the reason we made this map, Padfoot," James pointed out. James considered the suggestion. It was good, but it could be better. After a moment, his lips split into a grin. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

"That's good to hear," Sirius remarked distractedly, observing the map with a thoughtful look on his face.

"No, you git. That's what we should use to open the map."

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good?" Sirius repeated, his eyebrows knitted together as he watched James for confirmation.

"Well, why not? We _are_ using the thing because we're up to no good."

"Can't argue there," Peter said to Sirius.

"Okay, so we just say that and the map will appear?" Sirius asked Remus, who nodded.

"All we have to do is perform the spell and it should work." Remus pulled the map away from Sirius and studied it. "But this spell works both ways. If we have to say something to reveal the map, we need to say something to hide it."

Peter and Sirius rounded on James, who leaned back and held his hands up. "Hey, I came up with the opening; you guys do some work now."

"How about: We're done," Sirius suggested sardonically.

"Gee, Padfoot, that must have really taken you a long time to think up. How _do _you do it?"

"Can we be serious for a moment, please?" Remus asked irritably. "Or else I'm telling these two exactly who I saw you snogging, Sirius."

Sirius's mouth dropped open in exaggerated horror. "Moony, you _wouldn't!"_

"Oh, wouldn't I?"

"Go ahead, tell them. I don't care, really."

"Alright, then. Sirius was-"

"Mischief managed!"

"What?" Peter, Remus and James asked.

"Think about it: We're up to no good with this map and being up to no good is the same thing as mischief and-"

"Aww, Sirius can define words!" James cried sentimentally, earning a sharp glare from Sirius.

"So, mischief managed would be a good way to close the map down, wouldn't it?"

James, Remus and Peter looked at each other, silently debating Sirius's suggestion. It wasn't a bad suggestion at all, it really wasn't. Besides, the three boys had no other phrases to close the map with. "Mischief Managed" it was then. Remus picked up his wand and was about to perform the spell when Sirius cut in.

"Wait a moment!"

"What?"

"The map needs some sort of greeting."

Remus raised an uncertain eyebrow. "A greeting?" he repeated, a smile threatening his lips.

"Yeah, when we open it, it should say something!"

James chuckled and smiled crookedly. "Greetings brethren, how are you this fine evening?"

Sirius gave James a warning look, which instantly made James stop speaking. Instead of saying anything else, Sirius snatched the map out from under Remus's arms again and dipped his quill in the inkbottle. Without another word to any of his friends, he began writing. For a long moment there was only the sound of the scratching of Sirius's quill while the others waited to see what he had come up with.

When Sirius was finished, he looked up proudly and pushed the map to the centre of the table so his friends could see.

The corners of James's mouth turned up as he read out loud. "'_Messers Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, purveyors of aids to magical mischief-makers, are proud to present the Marauder's Map'_." James stared at the header of the page with great amusement. "I didn't know you knew such big words, Padfoot. And how come Remus gets to go first?"

"I kind of like it that way," Remus commented smugly.

"Because it sounds good that way," Sirius said defensively. "Prongs, Padfoot, Wormtail and Moony doesn't sound nearly as good."

"He has a point, Prongs," Peter admitted.

"Marauder's Map, though?" Remus asked, pointing at the title with the feather of his quill. "Where'd you come up with that?"

"You don't remember the day we even got the idea to make the map?" Remus shook his head. He remembered the day, but he didn't remember the exact conversation they'd all had. "You said we didn't need anything else to help us with our marauding habits."

"Did I?"

"Yes, and that's where Marauder's Map comes from."

Remus sighed, smirking slightly. "Well, I feel I've served my life's purpose then. I'll just take this and fix the Charms together, shall I?" Remus took the map from Sirius and went up to the dormitory where his textbooks and library books were so he could work out the rest of the Charms.

When Remus had fully gone up the stairs and was out of sight, James rounded on Sirius, an expectant look in his eyes. "So, was Moony lying or did he _really_ find you snogging some girl?"

"Well, he didn't find me snogging some _boy_," Sirius growled, getting tired of this topic and cursing Remus for bringing it up in the first place.

"And what was this lady's name?" Peter inquired interestedly.

Sirius looked between Peter and James, wondering why they took such pleasure in mocking him, though knowing at the same time they wouldn't drop it unless he gave them answers. "She's a Ravenclaw," he said simply, turning his attention to a long crack in the wood on the table.

"Well, that answers _all_ our questions," James said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Is she in our year?"

"Possibly."

"What's her name, Sirius?"

"Why are you two having so much fun with this?" Sirius snapped.

"What's the matter with you?" James asked, surprised with his friend's outburst. They had only been playing, having some fun. "Why don't you tell us?"

"You two will just make fun of me," Sirius grudgingly admitted.

"No, we won't!" Peter assured him hastily.

"What? Is she hideous?" James asked, doubting that was the case. "Who the bloody hell is she?"

"Emily Fort."

James and Peter glanced at each other once before falling silent, wondering about where they had seen this girl before. She had been in a few of their classes before, they knew this. However, they had never really given her a second glance before. James recalled her having reddish brown hair with brown eyes and being quite on the short side. "She's pretty," he finally said.

"Good, can we stop talking about my private life now?" Sirius begged.

James laughed loudly. "Sirius, you're friends with _us_, you have no private life."

Sirius glared at James for a second before turning his attention to the crackling flames in the fireplace. James had a fair point; with those three as his friends he would be lucky to ever have a moment to himself. When Remus and Patil had walked in, it was all Sirius had to do to keep himself from hexing Remus into oblivion for wrecking one of the few moments he had alone with a girl. Luckily, Remus knew better than to become authoritative and just asked them both to go back to their common rooms.

Luckily, Emily was the other Ravenclaw Prefect, and so he could not get into too much trouble. He could always say he was in the company of a Prefect.

Speaking of Remus… After nearly a half hour in the dormitory, Remus came hurrying excitedly down the spiral staircase and stopped just short of falling over the table. "Merlin, Moony, did a Billywig hide in your pants?" Sirius joked.

"Stuff it, Padfoot," Remus said shortly before stuffing the blank sheet of parchment that was their map into his hands. "Go on! Say that phrase you came up with before!"

Sirius couldn't help but let the enthusiasm Remus was exuding affect him and he instantly sat up straighter, turning so Peter and James could see. Clearing his throat, he loudly and clearly said, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

Almost at once, black ink began spreading out like cobwebs across the page, forming words and rooms and even tiny figures that represented the people still walking about the castle. The header Sirius had written earlier appeared at the top of the page. "Sweet Merlin," Sirius breathed. "We've done it!" He set the map down on the page and the four boys leaned forward to get a better look. "Is that really Peeves?"

"Yes it is," Remus confirmed happily. "Bouncing around the trophy room, I think?"

"That's where he is," Peter said, awestricken, pointing to the trophy room.

"Wait, it gets even better." Remus pulled up the map and cleared it. "If someone we who doesn't know the password tries to open the map, it does something…"

"Like what?"

"Insults them, and pretty badly too, actually."

James, Sirius and Peter all broke into laughs. "Are you serious?" James asked through his chuckles.

Remus was confused by their laughter. "I thought it seemed like a good idea…"

"It is!" James assured him hurriedly. "How does it do it?"

"Err… if the person says their name, it'll personalize the insults. If not, it's just a generalized insult. One for each of us."

"You mean each one of us has our own insult for it?"

"Basically, yes."

James couldn't keep the grin on his face from spreading. "This is the greatest invention ever."

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Sixty: Apparition, Sacking and Sirius's Knickers**_

"We're _adults_ now, though, Prongs."

"Yes, but we're still in _school_, Padfoot."

"Why don't you just wait until you've graduated, Padfoot?" Remus suggested from behind the two. He could see where Sirius was coming from, as well as James. Ultimately, however, the decision belonged to Sirius. He was just making a suggestion.

Sirius and James wheeled around, almost causing Remus to walk straight into the both of them. "The boy says good things!" James said happily.

"I say _realistic_ things," Remus corrected. He quickened his step so he was now standing beside James. He looked across James at Sirius with an exasperated look. "Honestly, Sirius, I don't think the Potters are ready to kick you out yet."


	60. Apparition, Sacking and Sirius's Knicker

Chapter Sixty  
Apparition, Sacking and Sirius's Knickers

James and Sirius sat in the Three Broomsticks, sipping rather large goblets of cold pumpkin juice, chatting amiably with their fellow sixth years. After several Saturdays of practise sessions in the Great Hall, the time had come for anyone with a birthday before the end of June to take their Apparition exam. James and Sirius had already completed their test, as well as Lily Evans, Severus Snape, Jensen Patil, Mary Porter, and Abrac Zabini. Everyone else was either still taking the test or their birthday missed the cut off date. The test was fairly simple. One of the examiners would tell the student where the Apparate and they had to do it exactly on the mark and without Splinching themselves.

James had been instructed to Apparate from the Three Broomsticks down to Dervish and Banges, while Sirius had to Apparate to the post office. Both of them had passed and were reveling in their success, as were their fellow sixth years.

"There'll never be another quiet moment in my house now the both of us can Apparate," James told Sirius gleefully.

Lily Evans smirked into her goblet. "I imagine there never _was_ a quiet moment in your house, especially with the two of you living there."

James nodded slowly. "True… but now we can appear behind my parents and they'll never hear us coming."

"Except for the cracking sound," Sirius added reasonably before draining the rest of his goblet.

"Yeah, but by the time they hear that, it'll be too late."

"You sound like you're plotting you parents' downfalls," Jensen Patil said dubiously.

"I would never dream of doing that!" Sirius said, looking highly affronted. He was just being a tad melodramatic, but it was true. After everything Charles and Hannah Potter and done for him, he would do anything but help the two and would never dream of plotting anything relatively close to their downfalls.

"I passed!"

James, Sirius, Lily, Jensen and Mary turned to see Remus had just entered the pub, looking about as excited as he had when they finished the Marauder's Map. He glanced around the pub, his eyes quickly moving away from the table that housed Snape and Zabini, and spotted the group of sixth years sitting by the window. Dropping into the empty seat in between James and Lily, he told them how they made him Apparate all the way to the Shrieking Shack and he would have been back sooner, but he had to walk.

"Congrats!" James said jovially, clapping a beaming Remus on the shoulder.

"It's pretty mental when you think about it," Lily began, taking a swig of ice cold pumpkin juice.

"What is?" James asked interestedly.

"That we're old enough to Apparate and use magic outside of school now. Technically, we're all adults."

Her fellow sixth years couldn't deny this. Lily was right. They _were_ adults now in the eyes of their elders. They could do things like magic whenever they wanted or try to Apparate, without having the Ministry on their tails for every misstep. Exciting as this prospect was, it was also rather frightening. They all had only one more year of school before they were out on their own. They would have to find their own homes, get jobs, and start their new lives.

Once Joseph Smith and Allison Abbot returned from passing their tests, the group of sixth years made their way back to the castle, where classes had been dismissed only ten minutes ago. On the walk through Hogsmeade, James, Sirius and Remus hung behind the rest of the group. Sirius looked unsure about something and he wanted to discuss it with his two friends privately.

"You know, James, I reckon it's time I started looking for my own place," he proposed slowly, watching for James's reaction.

James's jaw dropped open. "What? Sirius, you can't leave my place yet!" He didn't want Sirius leaving his home yet. They were still at Hogwarts; there was no reason for him to move out yet. Sure, once they had both graduated it would make sense for Sirius to find a place of his own, but not now, not yet. Though they were both adults (blast Lily Evans for bringing that up), they were still students. Perhaps once they had graduated, but not now…

"I was just thinking, though, I have the money I inherited from Alphard," Sirius began sheepishly. The money Alphard had left to him was enough to buy a decent flat and he would still have plenty to spare. Besides, he would be getting a job and that would cover any other expenses he would need. He didn't need to impose on the Potters anymore.

"My mum's going to hate it when you tell her you're leaving," James pointed out shrewdly. He knew Sirius looked to his mother like the one he never had. James wouldn't have been surprised if Sirius started calling Hannah Potter 'Mum' soon. Sirius would hate doing something that would disappoint her. James smiled and nodded knowingly. "Got you thinking about that, didn't I?" Sirius mumbled something under his breath that James took for a confirmation. "C'mon, Padfoot, you're not causing any trouble living with my family!"

"We're _adults_ now, though, Prongs."

"Yes, but we're still in _school_, Padfoot."

"Why don't you just wait until you've graduated, Padfoot?" Remus suggested from behind the two. He could see where Sirius was coming from, as well as James. Ultimately, however, the decision belonged to Sirius. He was just making a suggestion.

Sirius and James wheeled around, almost causing Remus to walk straight into the both of them. "The boy says good things!" James said happily.

"I say _realistic_ things," Remus corrected. He quickened his step so he was now standing beside James. He looked across James at Sirius with an exasperated look. "Honestly, Sirius, I don't think the Potters are ready to kick you out yet."

Sirius bit his bottom lip. He knew Mr. and Mrs. Potter wouldn't force him out of their home, they would never force anyone out, but he still felt that he should be able to fend for himself now. He would just explain the situation to James's parents. He would just tell them that he appreciated everything they've ever done for him and that he'd be forever grateful, but it was time he learned to live on his own. Besides, he would be in the castle for the greater part of the year. He might not have even found a suitable apartment before summer's end.

For the moment, the boys dropped the subject. Why waste an afternoon where they could be celebrating their Apparition tests by worrying about the summer? No, it was best to just leave it alone for now.

* * *

Professor Finely was in top form today, that much was obvious. He was going well out of his way to let every one of his students know this. The class was preparing for their exam at the end of the year and Professor Finely had officially announced that he was not telling them exactly what would be on the test. Every other professor was giving their students the general topics on the test, even going over parts in depth if their students were having trouble with the material, but not Professor Finely. He would much rather dance on a broomstick three thousand feet in the air about a pointy mountaintop than allow his students that information. Instead, he continued to teach them new topics.

During one Defence Against the Dark Arts class two weeks before they were due to sit for their exams, Professor Finely had broken into a vicious tirade about werewolves and the dangers they inflicted on society. No one was quite sure how he had managed to segue from silent spells to werewolves, but he had. The Gryffindors watched the man with a mixture of expressions on their faces. Lily, Alice and Frank simply looked revolted at the way in which the man described the animals. They didn't believe one man could hold such hatred. Peter was shifting nervously in his seat, his eyes darting from Finely to Remus, who looked quite impassive about everything. Sirius and James looked furious, as if they were doing everything within their power to keep themselves from illegally hexing their professor.

"Professor?" Lily Evans said tentatively, her hand in the air. She either didn't notice or promptly ignored the horrified looks her friends were sending her. Finely would eat her alive if she dared disrupt him in the middle of his rant.

Indeed, Professor Finely looked thoroughly irritated by the interruption. In a very restrained manner, he replied, "Yes, Miss Evans?"

"You're just talking about the actual werewolf, aren't you? Not the person who becomes one?"

Professor Finely scoffed. "Is there much of a difference?"

"Of course there is!" Lily said heatedly before whipping around as two more voices said the exact same thing. James and Sirius were leaning forward on their desks, their faces tinged red and their hands gripping the edges of the tabletops so tightly that their knuckles were ghostly white.

Professor Finely's eyes were alight now; he looked to be enjoying himself now that he had infuriated some of his students. "Do explain, then, you three."

James, Sirius and Lily were quiet for a moment, unsure if the professor was baiting them. It would be just like Professor Finely to ask for his students' opinions, then to shoot them down, take points away from Gryffindor and then give them a week of detention. Still, they couldn't let this man continue with this ridiculous lesson. Lily had no idea why James and Sirius were so enraged by it; she was angered because it was the exact same prejudice she had to face because she was a Muggle-born. But she had two people on her side, at least.

"The person probably had no choice when they were bitten," Lily pointed out, doing her best to keep her voice even.

"They could fight away the beast," Finely insisted indifferently, as if the thought of someone being ravaged by a werewolf didn't disturb him in the slightest. The thought probably _didn't _disturb him.

"What if it was a kid?" James persisted fiercely, leaning forward on his desk.

"Yeah," Sirius quickly jumped in. "A kid wouldn't be able to fight off a werewolf!"

"If the child had any intelligence at all, he or she would know better than to be wandering alone at night, especially when there's a full moon in the sky."

"I don't think the first thing on a kid's mind when he's wandering around outside at night is, 'Am I going to run into a werewolf?'" Remus hissed under his breath, just loud enough for his professor to hear.

Professor Finely smiled in delight. "I believe Mr. Lupin has something to tell us." He stared challengingly at his student, daring him to speak his mind instead of letting his friends do it for him. Finely had been dying to hear Remus's thoughts on this ever since he had first learned the Gryffindor was a Lycanthrope.

Remus returned the stare, trying to insert some confidence into his expression. He had been silent every time someone made a passing remark about what foul creatures werewolves were, not realising they were in the presence of one. Professor Finely knew his student was a werewolf and continued making the remarks. But this was getting ridiculous. Professor Finely was suggesting that a child should know what he was up against when he was faced with a werewolf. There was no way a child would know that. Remus had only been three when he was bitten; he thought the werewolf was a dog! That was the way children thought and this man had no right to suggest differently.

"There's no way a kid will know what they're up against," Remus said quietly, glaring into the professor's eyes.

Finely was clearly enjoying himself. "Louder, if you please, so the rest of the class can hear you."

Remus was incensed and everyone in the room saw this. Luckily, though, only three of them knew the true reason behind this. The others could do no more than sit silently, watching him in slightly awestruck manners. Remus Lupin rarely lost his temper, especially with a professor. "What if the kid is so young that he doesn't realise there's such thing as a werewolf?"

"Anyone from a proper Wizarding family _would_ know, Mr. Lupin."

"That's not true! What if the kid is only three years old and happens to like dogs and thinks the werewolf is a dog? He's not going to know what's happening until the wolf is biting down on him and he's in pain! He's not going to know what happens until he wakes up in a hospital and the Healers are telling him what he's become!"

Sirius placed a hand on Remus's shoulder and was forcing him back into his seat. Remus hadn't even realised he was starting to get up. "Calm down, Remus," Sirius said quietly. He'd never seen Remus get like this; it was only a matter of time before he announced that _he_ was the werewolf he was talking about.

Finely was close to laughing, every single student saw this and it enraged them all. Finely had shown before that he had no respect for any of his students, but this was pushing it.

"Remus is right, Professor," Frank Longbottom piped up, his tone filled with anger.

"Yeah," Alice Gordon agreed intensely. "A little boy or girl isn't going to know what's happened, until it's too late."

"Then that is the child's own fault," Finely insisted in a tone that said this matter was closed.

Remus gritted his teeth and abruptly stood up, making his way towards the door without looking back. "Mr. Lupin, you do not have permission to leave this classroom!" Professor Finely yelled at his student's retreating back. Remus said nothing to the man and left, slamming the door behind him. He had probably just lost Gryffindor fifteen points at the least, not that it mattered. Gryffindor had dominated the Quidditch Cup; they were too far ahead for a measly fifteen points to matter. He had enough of this. He was sick and tired of hearing it and he knew certain people in the castle wouldn't stand for it.

He had no idea if Professor McGonagall had a class right now, if she did he would simply wait in the corridor until it completed. As it was, when Remus reached the Transfiguration classroom, it was to see Professor McGonagall sitting at her desk, poring over some sheets of parchment he presumed were students' works. He knocked on the door and heard the professor tell him to come in. The professor looked surprised to see the Gryffindor sixth year enter. "Don't you have a class right now, Lupin?"

"Yes, Professor," Remus said, standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"Then what are you doing here?"

Remus bit his bottom lip and rocked back and forth on his feet. He wasn't entirely sure how to begin. He had been so adamant against telling any authority figure about this for so long that he never had anything planned. "It's… about Professor Finely."

The Transfiguration professor's nostrils flared - an instant sign of dislike. The woman loathed the man nearly as much as her students did, though she was not at liberty to discuss her opinion on him. "What he has done now?"

"Well… part of it is what he did _now_; the other part is what he's _been_ doing."

"Sit down, Remus," the professor ordered, nodding to one of the chairs closest to her desk. She looked apprehensive. Remus sat down, trying to keep his eyes from jumping around the room. He had rarely ever been alone in the Transfiguration room with the professor and was unsure of what to do. "What has our Defence Against the Dark Arts professor been up to?"

Remus was silent, considering his words. "Well… today he was just now giving us a lesson about how stupid werewolves were, trying to bait me into telling everyone in my house that I'm one."

Professor McGonagall's eyelids contracted - a sign of danger. "Was he? That's very interesting to hear. Anything else you wish to tell me?"

"All year… he's been trying to convince me to join Voldemort, like the other werewolves are going to." Remus was surprised to see the woman flinch violently when he said Voldemort's name. He didn't know why she did this, but said nothing about it. He wondered what her reaction to that news would be.

Professor McGonagall checked her timepiece in a strangely calm manner, showing no signs of instant anger. She was going to let it stew inside her. "Dinner is about to start, you should go to the Great Hall."

"Professor?" Remus said uncertainly. He knew there was more that she wasn't saying.

"Please, Remus, go down now. I need to have a word with Professor Dumbledore."

* * *

Within a matter of two days, there was no sign of Professor Finely at all in the castle. The boys knew this for a fact, as they combed the Marauder's Map continuously in hopes of locating him. The strange part of it was that Professor Dumbledore had nothing to do with the man's disappearance. Professor McGonagall had done as she said she would and went to speak with the Headmaster, but before Dumbledore could get around to sacking the man, he had vanished. Professor Finely's office was bare, all his belongings gone and the students' work that had not been graded was dispersed unceremoniously on the wooden floor. Of course, none of the students were terrible disappointed about the man's sudden departure. In fact, they had to go painfully out of their way to pretend that they were shocked about it.

As a result of the disappearance of Professor Finely, the Defence Against the Dark Arts exams for every year except fifth and seventh were cancelled. The students did not trouble themselves with hiding their glee about this bit of information. They cheered loud and long when Dumbledore announced it at breakfast the morning the exams were due to begin. Nearly every student in the castle loathed Finely, some more than others, but it was a popular consensus that he was dreadful and they were glad he was gone. In fact, the only students who did not share in their classmates' glee were the Slytherins, which was not a surprise, and, oddly enough, Peter Pettigrew.

When his friends questioned him about this, Peter simply said he didn't think Finely was as bad as everyone was making him out to be.

The final exams were not nearly as terrible as the OWL examinations had been, but it was still an immense relief to be done with them. After the mishap in Transfiguration, which involved Alice Gordon and Frank Longbottom getting stuck together by the elbows, something no one could figure out the cause for, everyone just wanted the exams to be done with. The only consolation the sixth years could find about the tests was that they were not the Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Level exams, which they would be sitting for next year.

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter now found themselves sitting in their usual compartment on the Hogwarts Express, trading Chocolate Frog cards. The sky outside was the clearest blue they had ever seen and the green countryside swept by as the train progressed closer and closer to Platform Nine and Three Quarters.

"Bloody hell," Sirius lamented, throwing the card he had down on the seat beside him. "I've got about fifteen Morgana cards!"

"Shame," James said lightly, sorting through his own handful of cards. He had six Morgana cards of his own. "Perhaps she just loves seeing your hideous face and that's why you keep getting her."

"She's got horrible taste, then," Remus muttered before snapping off the leg of a Chocolate Frog and chewing thoughtfully on it.

Sirius drew himself up proudly and narrowed his eyes at Remus. "I don't see any Chocolate Frog card ladies lining up to see your ugly mug, Moony."

"How do you know they haven't?" Remus challenged. "I could have just been keeping it all a secret." He sat up straighter and zeroed in on Sirius. "You know, like you were going to try and keep snogging Emily Fort a secret?"

"Stuff it, Moony," Sirius warned. There had been no mention of that incident in weeks. Sirius had been hoping they'd all forgotten about it.

"I've got some lovely pictures of you I could show her!" Remus suggested brightly. "How about I show her the one with your knickers out in the open for everyone to see?"

James and Peter burst into a fit of chuckles. "I forgot about that!" James said between laughs. He knew Remus had kept the picture, in case he ever needed some good blackmail, but he had momentarily forgotten about the photo's existence.

Sirius couldn't help but wonder if Remus would really show the Ravenclaw that photo. "I don't think she needs to see my knickers out in the open!"

"What about Sirius's knickers?" Lily Evans was standing in the doorway, pinning her Prefects badge onto the front of her shirt.

No one seemed to have heard her enter.

"Remus, I'm going to take that bloody camera of yours and-"

"You can't do anything to it."

"And why not?"

Remus smugly folded his arms across his chest. "It's got an Anti-Theft Charm put on it. Now anyone who even _resembles_ you goes near it, it wails so loudly your ears might start to bleed."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Fine, go find it and don't come crying to me that you've gone deaf."

Lily's eyes moved confusedly between Sirius and Remus, wondering what in Merlin's name had inspired this arguement. After knowing the two boys for almost seven years, she shouldn't have been surprised that they could fight about anything. However, she needed her curiosity satiated and turned to one of the other occupants of the compartment. "What are they going on about, James?" she asked the untidy haired boy.

"Something about a picture of Sirius in his bloomers," James told her vaguely as he ripped open another Chocolate Frog. He was having trouble comprehending the fact that this was one of the now several times that Lily hadn't spoken to him without her usual loathing. He was quite pleased.

Lily nodded slowly, in a way that suggested she didn't need to know any more than she already did. "Remus, do you think you could stop fighting with Sirius for a few minutes to patrol the corridors with me?"

Remus nodded and stood up to accompany Lily. Before he left, he rounded on Sirius, "One false move and that picture is posted in every common room in the castle."

"I'll believe it when it happens." Once Lily and Remus had left the compartment and shut the door, Sirius turned worriedly to James and Peter. "You don't think he would actually do it, do you?"

Peter shrugged. "He might."

James agreed. "Yeah, Remus has been known to do some strange things when provoked." For the next fifteen minutes, the three boys took advantage of the fact that Remus was not around to destroy them in Exploding Snap, and played a few rounds. By the end of the fourth match, James and Sirius were not sure their eyebrows would ever grow back completely. Peter, on the other hand, was completely ash free with both of his eyebrows fully intact and he was extremely proud of this. When the door to the compartment slid open again, they saw Remus and Lily reenter with their heads bent over a copy of the _Daily Prophet_, horrified expressions on their faces.

"What happened?" Peter asked concernedly, sitting up straighter.

"Professor Handlin," Lily whispered in shock.

"Our old Defence professor?" Sirius asked, utterly nonplussed. Remus nodded slowly, resuming his seat beside Peter, Lily sitting next to him. "What happened to him?" Sirius persisted impatiently.

"He was murdered," Remus informed them gravely, his face whiter than usual.

"What?" James, Sirius and Peter said, leaning forward and crossing to the other side of the compartment to get a better look at the article.

"He was found in his home in Blackpool, that skull in the air," Sirius summarized once he'd finished reading the article, completely dazed. They had all liked the professor; they all knew he was a good man. He had once saved James, Sirius, Remus and Peter from the Forbidden Forest. Who would want to kill him? _Why_ would anyone want to kill him?

"They have a name for the skull now," Lily said softly. "They're calling it the Dark Mark, the mark Death Eaters cast when they've killed someone."

"Death Eaters?" Peter asked uncertainly. They had all heard the term before, yet not in a while.

"Voldemort's followers," James told his friend. "Does this mean they're getting stronger?"

Remus shuffled the paper so he could read the end of the article. "They're predicting what everyone knows is going to happen. There's going to be a war soon. A lot of people have been trying to deny it, but they can't do it anymore."

War was inevitable.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Sixty One: Diagon Alley Debacle**_

"I would always accept their lunch invitations and that they were free to check on me whenever they wanted. So I'd take my feet off the furniture if I was you." Remus quickly put his feet on the floor. "They could show up right now and I don't need your disgusting footprints on my furniture."

"My feet aren't that dirty, Padfoot."

"They're dirty enough." Sirius waved his wand at the wooden floor in the entryway and every speck of dust disappeared, leaving a shining surface behind.

Remus watched this with an amused look on his face. "You're very good with those cleaning spells; you should consider being a maid."


	61. Diagon Alley Debacle

Chapter Sixty One  
Diagon Alley Debacle

"So, what do you think?"

"It's nice… a little dirty though."

"I'm going to _clean_ it, obviously." Sirius sat down on the old sofa, ignoring the puffs of dust that issued from it. "But what do you think?"

Remus folded his arms across his chest and observed the apartment they were standing in through critical eyes. It certainly wasn't the first place he would pick for any of his friends to live in, the very fact that it looked like a pack of rabid dogs had once lived in it did not help his opinion of the place. However, for someone like Sirius, the flat would do. Granted, the place was dusty beyond comprehension, but a few cleaning spells would solve that in seconds. Some of the furniture needed repairing or replacing, but that shouldn't be too hard for Sirius to handle. There were two bedrooms, one bathroom, a kitchen and a sitting room. There was just enough room for one person, maybe two. Sirius had enough money left over to buy furniture that suited his tastes better than what he had right now. All in all, Sirius had picked a fairly decent flat to start with.

"It's good," Remus consented finally. He glanced out the front window, forgetting he couldn't see the street below. "When are James and Peter getting here?" James and Peter would be joining them shortly and then they would all be Apparating to Diagon Alley to buy their school supplies. James also mentioned he had a surprise for them and they were eager to see what it was.

Sirius checked his watch, before realising that he still hadn't learned to tell time with it. He appreciated the fact that getting this watch was a tradition and loved that Mr. and Mrs. Potter had gotten him one, but it didn't mean he wasn't irritated every time he tried to check the time. "Err… James said around noon. What time was it when you left your place?"

"Eleven."

"Soon, I guess." Sirius stood up and studied the couch, tapping his wand thoughtfully against his cheek, his mouth curved into a small frown. After a moment, he pointed his wand at the couch and muttered a spell. Almost in an instant, the couch was free of dust. "Sit down," Sirius said, gesturing to the spotless sofa.

Looking wary, as if he still expected some dust bunnies to attack him or the couch to devour him, Remus took a seat. "How did the Potters take it when you told them you were moving out?" Remus asked curiously. The Potters loved Sirius like he was their own son; it was bound to greatly upset them when he told them he was moving out. "How did you break it to them, anyway?"

"Very gently," Sirius assured him as he strode about the room, cleaning up the dusty furniture and wooden floors. "I told them I appreciated everything they've done for me and just because I was leaving didn't mean I was never going to visit them, but it was time I started living on my own…"

Remus leaned back into the cushions, watching as Sirius waved his wand at a picture frame he was sure was going to be sold within the next week. "And?"

"I would always accept their lunch invitations and that they were free to check on me whenever they wanted. So I'd take my feet off the furniture if I was you." Remus quickly put his feet on the floor. "They could show up right now and I don't need your disgusting footprints on my furniture."

"My feet aren't _that_ dirty, Padfoot."

"They're dirty enough." Sirius waved his wand at the wooden floor in the entryway and every speck of dust disappeared, leaving a shining surface behind.

Remus watched this with an amused look on his face. "You're very good with those cleaning spells; you should consider being a maid."

Sirius picked up a rag on the table in the hallway and flung it at Remus, who was not expecting this, was hit in the face with it. "The landlady, Mrs. Sherman, is great," Sirius went on conversationally, moving to clean up the kitchen. There was no way he could have the room where he ate dirty. Any place where food was prepared was sacred to Sirius and deserved the utmost cleanliness. Remus got up from the sofa and followed him.

"I think any woman who could put up with _you_ living above her is amazing," Remus commented dryly, sitting down at the kitchen table.

"Why do you joke at my expense?" Sirius asked exasperatedly, inspecting the room with meticulous eyes.

"Because it's so easy."

"I thought so." Sirius stood back and observed the stove. He had never used one in his life, and was not sure what Muggles did to make them work. Did they turn those knobs or poke it with a stick? And what was the little door at the bottom used for? He knew he should not trust himself with something so potentially dangerous. Turning to Remus, he inquired, "You reckon I just use magic to cook?"

Remus nodded seriously. "Unless you want to blow this place up, then your wonderful landlady might not like you so much." He got up and joined Sirius in observing the stove. Growing up with a Muggle for a mother, Remus had more of an idea of how to work a stove, though he thought it might be fun to see Sirius try using one. "So, why is your landlady so great?"

"She's not going to charge me rent for the months I'm away at school."

Remus's eyes widened in surprise. This woman really was as wonderful as Sirius was making her out to be. "That's very nice of her."

"I know, it's great!" Sirius gave up on watching the stove as if he stood there long enough; it would do something, and instead he went to check the cabinets. He assumed the previous owners would take their silverware with them, but there was always the chance they had left something behind. He saw, unfortunately, that the cabinets were bare, except for a moth that took the opportunity to escape when Sirius opened the door. He grabbed the quill he had left on the counter and dipped it into the inkbottle, scribbling _silverware_ down on the list he had been constructing.

There was a knock at the door and Sirius yelled for whoever it was to come in, sure that it was James and Peter finally deciding to show up. Looking up, instead of two seventeen and sixteen year old boys, he was met with an elderly lady with greying hair, golden rimmed glasses over grey eyes and a friendly face. She was holding a tray of something Sirius could not see, as it was covered. "Hullo, Mrs. Sherman," Sirius greeted, smiling.

"Hullo, Sirius, dear," Mrs. Sherman said jovially. She gave off the appearance of an old grandmother who doted on her grandchildren every time she saw them. "I just brought you a housewarming present." She handed Sirius the tray she was carrying.

He pulled off the cover and saw it was a tray of freshly made brownies. He couldn't keep the appreciative smile from sliding onto his face. "You really didn't have to; you're already letting me live here."

"I won't hear it," the woman said firmly, stepping out of arm's reach so he could not give back the tray. Her eyes roved the kitchen; taking in the cleaning Sirius had just been doing before he hastily shoved his wand into his back pocket and covered it with his shirt. Her eyes landed on the third occupant of the room.

"Oh," Sirius said suddenly, setting the platter down beside his list. "Mrs. Sherman, this is Remus Lupin, a friend of mine from school."

"Nice to meet you, Remus," Mrs. Sherman said, extending a hand.

"You too," Remus replied, standing up and shaking the woman's hand.

Mrs. Sherman stayed for a few moments to help Sirius compile a list of the things he would need for his apartment. When the landlady left, Sirius took one of the brownies she had brought him and chewed on it thoughtfully, scanning the list of items the two had come up with. "I never knew living on your own required so much stuff," he mused. He nodded at the tray behind him. "Have one, Remus."

Remus took one of the brownies and bit down. He read the list from over Sirius's shoulder and lightly commented, "I don't think you'll need _all_ those appliances."

"I do if I have to keep up appearances, pretending to be a Muggle and all."

"Yeah, but you can always pretend whatever you had broke and you're waiting to get a new one." He took another bite of the brownie. "Besides, I doubt she'll come barging in while you're cooking."

"Who'll come barging in while Padfoot's cooking?" Sirius and Remus whipped around to see that James and Peter were standing in the kitchen with them. They had not even noticed them Apparate in.

"Prongs! Wormtail!" Sirius exclaimed happily. He spread his arms out in a jokingly regal manner. "So, what do you think of my kingdom?"

"It's nice," Peter said quickly, without really taking in his surroundings.

Sirius smiled at the youngest of the four boys and then turned his attention to James. "And you, Mr. Prongs, what do you think?"

"It's a pit," James said in his most honest voice. "Absolutely hideous."

Sirius was silent for a moment, before he smirked. "So, you love it, then?"

James cracked a smile. "Of course I do." He raised a hand in greeting to Remus. "How've you been, Moony?"

"Good, you?"

"Spectacular." James clapped his hands together in a businesslike fashion. "Well, lads, Diagon Alley awaits!"

* * *

Diagon Alley was crowded, filled completely to the brim, which made absolutely no sense. It was the last week in August; school was starting in a matter of days. Was everyone this remiss in their school shopping? There was hardly any room to walk to get from store to store. The boys spent at least forty five minutes in Flourish and Blotts, trying to locate all of their school books amidst the crowd of tiny students they assumed were the incoming first years. It took even longer waiting in line to pay for them. Once they had all of their books together, James and Sirius needed to go to the Apothecary to stock up on potions supplies. NEWT level Potions was going to be akin with a painful death, they had moaned.

"Hey, what was that surprise you had for us, Prongs?" Remus asked as James and Sirius came out of the Apothecary with their new supplies.

James looked confused for a moment, before comprehension dawned. "Oh, right! Merlin, none of you are going to believe it."

"We might believe you, if you ever bother to tell us," Remus reminded him.

"Dumbledore made me Head Boy!" Cheerfully, James continued on his way, not realising that his words had rendered his friends incapable of mobility. It was only when he had walked a good length away that he realised he was alone. He spun around and saw Sirius, Remus and Peter were rooted to the spot, gaping at him with their mouths hanging open. "What?"

"_You're _Head Boy?" Sirius asked disbelievingly.

"Yes…?"

Sirius looked like he was having the most trouble grasping this. Dumbledore would never make one of the worst troublemakers Hogwarts had ever seen Head Boy. It just didn't make sense. He always thought the Headmaster would make anyone other than James Head Boy. Sirius looked from James to Remus a couple of times, before his eyes finally rested on Remus. "But… I thought… _you_ were… it… _James?_"

"You think I wasn't surprised?" James said indignantly, now standing with his friends. He knew they would be surprised, but he thought they could at least muster some happiness for him. His parents had been elated at the news. "I thought it was going to be Remus too." He quickly turned to his Lycanthropic friend. "You're not mad about this, are you?"

Remus laughed loudly. "Are you mad? I'm thrilled I don't have to be Head Boy!" He thought being a Prefect was bad enough. He couldn't imagine the hassle being Head Boy would come with. He had enough difficulty keeping his friends in line now, as it was. If he were Head Boy that would mean more responsibilities he was incapable of handling. He was ecstatic he lost out on the position.

James smiled in relief. He shouldn't have expected any different, but there was always the chance Remus had decided he _wanted_ to be Head Boy. "Good, in that case then, I'll -" James was abruptly cut off by a loud explosion.

The cobblestone street below them seemed to rock violently as if it was about to cave in and there was the deafening sound of shattering glass and store displays falling viciously to the ground, breaking on contact or else rolling away. Everywhere shoppers were brought to their knees, throwing their hands out to break the fall. Bags dropped to the ground and the contents spilled everywhere. There were cries of children and shouts of surprise. In the distance, in the direction of the Magical Menagerie, smoke was rising in the air.

"What the bloody hell was _that?_" Sirius asked dazedly, picking himself up and then holding out a hand out help James to his feet.

"Dunno," James said, straightening out his pants. "Something… something _exploded_."

"How could something explode?" Peter asked, his knees trembling ever so slightly. His face was deathly pale when he saw where the smoke was coming from.

"Dunno, Peter." Remus's face was white and he was staring in the direction of the smoke. "What d'you think it was?"

James and Sirius shook their heads. They had no idea what could have exploded, or why anything in Diagon Alley would explode in the first place. Now that the initial shock had passed, there was a new sound filling the air – yells of terror, cries of children. The smart thing to do would be to go home immediately, come back another day to finish their shopping, get themselves out of the present danger. But the boys let their curiosity get the better of them, as usual. Sticking closely together, they set off towards the place where the smoke was rising.

When they reached the source of the smoke, it was with terror that they were filled with. The Magical Menagerie was in violent flames. The structure was slowly coming down; the glass in the windows had shattered. There were disjointed cries coming from all the animals inside and there were people the boys hoped were the workers running frantically about the outside, trying to find ways inside to save the animals.

"Dad!" Peter shouted, hurrying towards the burning building, not seeming to realise he would not be of much help. Remus came up behind Peter and firmly pulled him back. There was no need for him to get unnecessarily hurt. Peter's father worked in the shop, they all knew this, but Peter had to stay back. Mr. Pettigrew would not want his son endangering himself. Peter wasn't letting this go so easily, however. He fought viciously against Remus's grip, but Remus wouldn't let him go. "Remus, let me go!"

"No, Peter," Remus said in a strangely calm voice, that did not reflect the look on his face.

"My _dad_ is in there!"

"No, he's not, Peter," Sirius said, pointing to a man with soot covering his face. Though a great portion of his face was marred with dirt, he was still recognizable as John Pettigrew. Remus's grip slackened on Peter's arm when he saw the man and Peter used this opportunity to run to his father.

"Sweet Merlin," James breathed, staring at the wreckage before them. "You guys know who must be behind this, don't you?"

Sirius nodded grimly. There could only be one person responsible for this. He couldn't see a pet store erupting into flames on its own accord.

Peter and his father came over and it was easy to see Mr. Pettigrew was terribly shaken. He explained that he had just been arriving to work when the place blew up. There were some workers in there, he told them heavily. He didn't think they had managed to make it out. The animals inside, who had been causing a racket just moments before, were silent now. The only sounds they could hear were the crackling flames. "Go home, boys," Mr. Pettigrew told them with a wavering voice. "Don't make your parents worry." He turned to Peter. "Tell your mother I'm okay and I'll be home late."

The boys knew better than to refuse to listen to Mr. Pettigrew, and they knew their parents would be worried. The Potters and Lupins knew their sons were going school supply shopping that day. They would find out soon enough about the explosion. The streets of Diagon Alley were crowded with frantic shoppers, all shouting that something terrible was going on and others confirming what had exploded. It was the peak shopping day and there were too many children on the streets.

The boys were ready to Apparate home when there was another loud explosion, except this was distinctly wand fire. This couldn't be happening. There was no way there was fighting in Diagon Alley. Without thinking, the four boys hurried in the direction of the wand fire, drawing out their own wands. They didn't know what had come over them, but there was no way they were going to let this happen. They weren't about to let whoever started this going down without a good fight. They didn't exactly know how much a group of four boys could do, but it was worth a try.

The wand fire was coming from outside the bookstore, where they had been not too long ago. They could hear the shouts from people and could see the different coloured flashes of spells as they jetted through the air. _What_ was going on? It was only when they were almost ten feet away from Flourish and Blotts that they saw it. There were black, cloaked figures and they were all wearing masks. What was worse, they were throwing spells at mothers, their children, everyone in sight.

These were the people they had seen in the forest almost four years ago. These were the people Regulus had been talking to the night Sirius and Remus followed him into the forest. These were the people Lucius Malfoy was so proud of, the people Sirius's parents adored. These were the people who were responsible for every horrible thing that had happened since the boys first started Hogwarts – the death of Professor Flitwick's sister, Alice Gordon's father, those poor Muggles. These were the people who sent the green, luminescent Dark Mark into the air every time they murdered someone. These were the people who were responsible for everything and they had finally come out in the open.

Without thinking, Sirius pulled out his wand and shouted, "_Stupefy!_" towards one of the masked figures who was barely taller than he was. The masked figure easily deflected the spell so that it was sent in James's direction. James quickly ducked.

"You're going to fight us?" the masked figure laughed as if he couldn't find anything funnier than seventeen year old boys fighting him. But there was something… something familiar about that voice. Sirius knew that voice and he nearly threw up at the thought of who was behind the mask.

James, Remus and Peter had already been overtaken with three other masked figures, who had taken their distraction as the perfect moment to attack, and did not hear the voice. Sirius could not begin to tear himself away from the person he had tried to Stun. There was no way this was happening. The conversation Sirius had eavesdropped on the previous year… _how_ had it come to pass?

"_Regulus?_" Sirius whispered, utterly dumbfounded. There was no way his little brother was behind that mask. Sirius wouldn't allow it. His mind was playing tricks on him. His brother _couldn't _have been one of the masked fools. He closed his eyes for a moment, as if he was willing himself to come to grips with it on the very spot. That or he was praying that when he opened his eyes again, the scene before him would not be the one it was. He would be back home in his flat. Remus would just be arriving and they would take a tour of his flat. They had not left for Diagon Alley yet. His brother was not a bloody Death Eater!

The masked figure laughed loudly, as if he was relishing the horror his opponent was experiencing. "How's my big brother?"

"You're mad," Sirius hissed, shaking his head slowly. "You're _mad_!"

"Mad, am I?" Regulus challenged. "I'm simply trying to right the wrongs purebloods have had to go through."

"Wrongs? What the bloody hell are you talking about?"

The sounds of the fights going on around them seemed to fade into the background. Sirius could only hear, could only see, his brother.

"Why are we letting these Mudbloods get what they want?" Regulus asked furiously. "Why are we letting them practise magic when it's obvious they'll never be fit for it?"

Sirius was using all of strength to keep himself from charging at his brother, knocking him to the ground and beating the stuffing out of him. How could Regulus say that Muggle-borns were unfit to learn magic? Had he ever seen Lily Evans at work? She was more a witch than he would ever be a wizard.

"You're mental," Sirius hissed viciously. He knew his brother believed the ridiculous morals of their parents, but he never imagined Regulus acting out on them. He never saw Regulus becoming like this. He had always had hope for his brother! He couldn't stand this. "Go home, Regulus."

Regulus's laugh was loud and mirthful. "You can't tell me what to do, Sirius! You're not my father."

"I'm your brother."

"Hardly. You lost every right to tell me to do anything the day you ran away from home."

Sirius gritted his teeth. He wanted so much to yell at Regulus, to rage at him and tell him how much of a fool he was. But he couldn't do that. Regulus would never listen to him if he gave into his anger the way he wanted to. "Regulus, I'm asking you to go home before you get hurt!"

Sirius wished very much that he could see his brother's face. It had been a long time since he had ever expressed concern to his brother. Sirius wanted to make it seem like he didn't care what happened to the youngest Black son, when he truly did care. He wanted to sever ties from everyone in his family, yet he could not allow his brother to destroy his life.

"I'm not leaving, Sirius. I'm staying and fighting."

"Do you even know what you're fighting for?"

There was a change in Regulus's demeanour; Sirius could see that, though he could not see the reaction on the boy's face. Regulus was only sixteen; he should not have been fighting for this alleged _cause_. He should have been enjoying himself, preparing for his next year of schooling. He was a _child!_ "Of course I do. Do you know what _you're_ fighting _against?_"

Before Sirius could say anything, Regulus had run out of sight. Sirius had half a mind to chase after him, convince him that there was still time to go back, but he didn't. If there was any trait every Black possessed, it was stubbornness. Now that Regulus was gone, Sirius's mind was able to drift back to his surroundings. There were shouts and jets of multicoloured lights. Everyone around him people were yelling and running, trying to find their loved ones or a good place to escape.

Sirius could do nothing except stare. Where had the world gone so wrong?

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Sixty Two: Mr. and Mrs. Evans**_

"What's with you?" Remus asked. Sirius only ate that way when he was mad.

"Nofink, Moomy," Sirius said through a mouthful of roasted potatoes. With great effort, Sirius managed to swallow his dinner. "Nothing, I'm fine."

Remus watched Sirius through doubtful eyes for another moment before shrugging and turning to talk to Peter.

"Oh, Alice, have you seen Lily?" James asked suddenly. He was looking up and down the Gryffindor table searching for the girl, but she was nowhere in sight. James couldn't believe that Lily had missed the Prefect meeting and was also missing the Start of the Term Feast; it was too much unlike her.

Alice frowned sadly at James and shook her head.


	62. Mr and Mrs Evans

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay, couldn't get my login to work. At the bottom of this chapter, there's a letter James is writing and it's supposed to be crossed out a bit, but I can't make it work. So if you see a sentence that ends abruptly, it's because James crossed it out. Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

Chapter Sixty Two  
Mr. and Mrs. Evans

The fight in Diagon Alley was on the lips of every witch and wizard in England for the days following. There was not a day in which the _Daily Prophet_ did not print an article about the attack. There was a list of the injured and the killed when the Magical Menagerie exploded. The boys could only be grateful that Peter's father was not among either list. John Pettigrew was undoubtedly shaken by the explosion, but he was completely healthy. Several workers and customers who had been inside the pet shop had been killed instantly and one or two were severely injured and taken to St. Mungo's. Almost at once, the _Prophet_ was pointing fingers at the Ministry for not having enough security in a place where children could be found and for not having foreseen the attack.

No one seemed to want to point fingers at the actual cause behind it – Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters.

There was a strong sense of fear now in the Wizarding World. People traveled in tight packs, hardly daring to step out of the house on their own. Who knew if they would make it back to the house if they went out alone? There were reports of street peddlers selling overpriced self-protection amulets that were not guaranteed to protect someone, but to give them nasty boils in the most inconvenient of places. Every person out on the streets at late hours of the night looked seedy and suspicious. No one felt safe anymore.

When the four boys arrived back at Sirius's flat after their disastrous trip to Diagon Alley, it was to find that no one really wanted to talk about what happened. For a long time, the four boys sat in Sirius's sitting room, staring at the walls opposite them with rather unfocused looks. At one instance, Peter thought to ask Sirius who he was talking to when they were there, but Sirius merely scowled. He did not want to tell his friends that one of those masked Death Eater maniacs was his little brother. Sirius was surprised that Peter had even noticed Sirius had been talking to someone. After an hour of sitting in almost complete silence, James, Remus and Peter left to go home.

"So, what goes on in these Prefect meetings?" James asked Remus, who was looking pale and peaky as he was still recovering from the full moon two days ago, as they made their way to the Prefect carriage at the head of the Hogwarts Express. They had just left Sirius and Peter, who were going to find a compartment for the four of them.

"The Head Boy and Girl give the Prefects the passwords for the common rooms, they tell us the responsibilities that come with being a Prefect; we get a bit of a lecture from the Heads. It doesn't really take too long." Remus wanted to see who the Head Girl was. The Head Girl hadn't been bad last year, but the year before was dreadful. He hoped it wasn't another repeat of his fifth year.

"So I have to lecture everyone?" James asked anxiously. He knew he could pull off a lecture, but how much authority would the Prefects think he had over them? He had never been a Prefect before and now he was suddenly Head Boy.

"_You_ don't have to. The Head Girl could do that."

"What was Dumbledore thinking?" James burst out, stopping just a compartment away from the one the Prefects had gathered in. He leaned against the wall with his arms folded across his chest, a frustrated expression clouding his face.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why did he make _me_ Head Boy? Did he honestly think, 'oh, James Potter would make a great Head Boy'? He could've picked _anyone_ else! He could've picked you or Patil or MacMillian. _Anyone_ but me!"

"Maybe he thinks you're the best for the job," Remus tried convincing him. Remus felt guilty admitting this to himself, but he _was_ rather surprised, stunned more like, that Dumbledore had picked James to be Head Boy. Remus certainly didn't want the job, but he knew there were others who coveted the position a lot more than James ever would. James was in trouble too much in his past six years at school. He spent half his life in detention, for Merlin's sake. It was only recently that he had showed any signs of maturity.

"Don't give me that rubbish, Moony," James snapped. Then, more calmly, he went on. "Sorry, mate. I'm not trying to take this out on you."

Remus held up a hand to stifle James's apology. "It's fine. Look, let's just go in there and get this over with. This meeting can be as short or as long as you want it to be."

James let out a short laugh. "We'll be lucky if we make it to five minutes."

The two entered the compartment to see that most of the Prefects had already arrived and were conversing quietly. Remus took the vacant seat beside Emily Fort and Jensen Patil, who seemed to be making bets on who the new Head Boy and Girl would be.

"You two will never guess who the new Head Boy is," Remus told them in an undertone.

Before either of the Ravenclaws could say anything, Severus Snape's surprised and angered voice filled the compartment. "What are _you_ doing here, Potter? This is a meeting for the Prefects, not their _friends_."

James's eyes narrowed on the Slytherin, but when he spoke his voice was oddly calm. "I'm here because I'm Head Boy, Snape."

There was a collective round of surprised noises from the students assembled in the compartment. The Slytherins were enraged, Snape more than any of them. His face was tinged a fiery red and was contorted in disgust. "You're joking, aren't you?"

James glanced at Remus, who gave him a look that silently said to be patient. He couldn't hex Snape on his first day as Head Boy. "Would you like to see the letter Dumbledore sent me, making me Head Boy?"

Snape looked as though he would very much like to see the letter, but kept his mouth shut and slumped in his seat, looking mutinous.

James cleared his throat and the rush of murmurs subsided. "Is everyone here, then?"

"Lily's not here, James," Remus said, surprised that James hadn't this noticed this himself.

"And no one's said they're Head Girl either," Emily Fort pointed out.

This was true. None of the female Prefects had spoken up about their promotion and there was no one else coming in and announcing that they were this year's Head Girl. But they couldn't keep waiting for someone to show up; James wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. The Head Girl would just have to introduce herself whenever she decided to show up. "Okay then… I'm James Potter, your Head Boy. I recognise a lot of you and… err… I look forward to getting to know those of you I don't already know." His eyes darted towards his friend, who nodded encouragingly. "I… I'm not entirely sure what my predecessors have talked to you about."

"Because you were never a Prefect," Snape snarled under his breath, though loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Stuff it, Snape," Emily Fort snapped.

James quickly flashed the girl a smile. This was the one Remus had caught Sirius snogging last year. Sirius picked a good one. "But I'm going to talk to you about something I think is going to be very important this year. After what happened in Diagon Alley, I think it's important that we learn to watch out for ourselves, as well as our friends and…" James glanced swiftly in Snape's direction before looking back towards the rest of the compartment's occupants, "Sometimes the people we don't like."

Snape promptly snorted at James's sentiments.

"Do _you_ have something to say, Severus?" Remus asked in a dangerously tranquil voice.

Snape looked disgusted at being addressed by Remus, as Remus did not have a high enough status to speak. "I just find what Potter is saying to be hypocritical."

Every Prefect turned to see what James's reaction would be. Had this been under any other circumstances, they would not have been surprised if Snape started sprouting sprouts out of his nostrils. But James didn't appear to be troubled by Snape's rude comment. His posture was steady and his expression neutral. "Snape is right," James consented and if there was twinge of disgust in his voice, it was only barely tangible. "But that doesn't mean I can't change and I'm sure everyone else here will want to do the same."

The Prefects nodded agreeably. It was a far cry from reality that the four Houses would ever coexist entirely peacefully, but it was worth a try to unite some members at least. They could start with the Prefects, anyway. Perhaps the other students would follow the example. It would be a pain; James knew this, to pretend he actually _liked_ Slytherins. Then again, he didn't have to pretend to like them; he just had to put up with them. With a few more words of encouragement and passing out the new passwords to the Prefects, James's first Prefects' meeting was officially over.

* * *

"I'm bored."

"Oh no."

"Why do you say 'oh no' like that, Wormtail?"

"Because every time you say you're bored something bad usually happens."

Sirius sat up straight, his feet, which had been propped up on the seat across from him, slamming on the compartment floor with a loud thud. "I resent that," he said defiantly, turning away from Peter, looking highly offended. "The _last_ time I said I was bored, we ended up finding that passageway that led to Honeyduke's. You can't say _that_ was bad, can you?" He raised an eyebrow at Peter, as if daring him to say it _was_ bad.

Peter was silent and Sirius knew he had gotten his point across. Sirius couldn't say his friend was _entirely_ wrong, strange things usually happened when he said he was bored. Sometimes, though, good came out of his boredom. He was bored when he thought up their nicknames and they had all grown to like them. Half the reason they even had the Marauder's Map was because he had been bored one night and said they should all go wandering aimlessly about the castle. That wandering was what led them to the passageway to the sweet shop. So _why_ did all his friends flee in terror when he said he was bored?

"It has to be Lily."

Sirius and Peter turned to see Remus and James entering the compartment, midway through a conversation that, for some reason, involved their fellow Gryffindor seventh year. Unless they were talking about James's chances of ever getting a date with Lily, which it didn't sound like they were, the two had no idea what their friends were talking about. "What has to be Lily?" Sirius asked as James dropped down beside him and Remus took the vacant seat next to Peter.

"Head Girl," Remus replied, leaning back in his seat and shutting his eyes.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Shouldn't you know by now?"

"There was no Head Girl there," James explained. "And Lily wasn't there either."

"Really?" Sirius said, surprised. That was most unlike the girl. "_Lily Evans_ missed a Prefect meeting?"

Remus and James nodded. It was odd, too odd for their liking. Lily never missed anything involving her Prefect duties. She always did her patrols, even when she would rather not and always went to the mandatory meetings. It took nothing short of a fatal illness to keep her from doing her job. Perhaps she had gotten caught up doing something else on the train, like trying to keep two second years from beating the stuffing out of each other. That could be time consuming and Lily would definitely pause to handle that, especially if no one else was. But the boys just couldn't imagine her skipping an entire meeting unless something truly important came up.

"How was your first Prefect meeting, Prongs?" Sirius asked, digging some gold out of his pocket as the clattering of the lunch trolley reached their compartment.

"Oh just wonderful," James said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Get your food. I'll tell you about it when you get back."

Sirius nodded and started towards the door before looking over his shoulder. "Wormtail, Moony, you two hungry?"

Peter got up to accompany Sirius out into the corridor, digging some gold out of his own pocket, while Remus shook his head and remained seated. His appetite had not quite come back yet. Sirius instantly knew the reason for Remus's decline and nodded, going out into the hallway with Peter. When the two returned, their arms were laden with sweets. They each dumped the sweets on a vacant seat and began searching through them. "So how was the meeting?" Sirius asked again, ripping open a box of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans.

"Well, it started with Snape wondering why the bloody hell I was there," James began, snatching up one of Sirius's Licorice Wands and biting the top off with unnecessary force.

"Of course," Sirius muttered darkly before throwing a murky green bean into his mouth. He chewed on it for a few moments before his face contorted in disgust and he spat it out into his hand. "Sprouts." Wrapping the bean in a spare wrapper, he set it aside. "Snivellus is probably just jealous because Dumbledore didn't make _him_ Head Boy."

"Well, I'm sure no one saw me coming," James pointed out fairly. "No one expected Dumbledore to make _me_ Head Boy."

"Yeah, I thought it was definitely going to be Remus," Peter put in, unwrapping a piece of Drooble's.

"I'm glad it wasn't me," Remus muttered sleepily. "Being Prefect is bad enough."

"Is it really that terrible, Remus?" James asked intently. He always wondered just why Remus hated being a Prefect so much. He knew part of it was because Remus felt he had no authority over anyone and the job was completely wasted on him. James also knew Remus hated it because he couldn't keep his own friends in line. It wasn't until now that James realised how irritating that must have been for him, to not even have his friends backing him up when it came to his Prefect duties.

"I may exaggerate it sometimes," Remus admitted, opening his eyes and slumping in his seat. He nodded to James. "You might like it better than I do."

James nodded. "Go to sleep, mate. You look ready to pass out." Remus didn't need James to tell him this. He shifted in his seat so he could rest against the wall beside the compartment door and was asleep within seconds. "I wonder what happened with Lily," James went on, his eyebrows knitted together in worry. It just wasn't like the redhead to miss something as important to her as a Prefect meeting. He couldn't picture her just skiving off.

"I'm sure she's fine, James," Sirius said in his best reassuring voice, though he did not believe it, himself. Quickly thinking of something to make James feel better, he added, "We'll ask Alice about it later, if we don't see Lily. I'm sure Alice will know whatever's going on."

Sirius was right. Alice Gordon was Lily's best friend; she would know whatever was going on in the redhead's life. James hoped that, whatever it was, it wasn't as serious as he thought it might be.

"To our newcomers, welcome! To our old comers, welcome back! I must say how wonderful it is to see such faces as yours, all eager to begin your new year of schooling." Professor Dumbledore stood in his place at the Staff Table, surveying his charges with his twinkling eyes, a broad, genuine smile on his face. "I do believe announcements are in order, but I see the golden platters before you wished to be filled with your supper and I believe it unwise to deny them this. Tuck in, everyone!"

There was a round of appreciative laughter as the empty golden platters on every table were filled with the most delicious looking foods anyone could imagine. The respectful silence that was present as Professor Dumbledore spoke was now replaced with the excited chatter of the students and the clinking of silverware. The house ghosts drifted around the ceiling, which reflected a clear starry night sky, watching as the students ate their fill. There was, however, a distinct change to this excited chatter. It didn't sound like the eagerness of students ready to embark on their new year of schooling, but an excitement that spoke of the events in Diagon Alley. Everywhere, particularly the older students were discussing it.

"I was in Diagon Alley before it happened too," Frank Longbottom was telling sixth year Cindy Warhol, who was fretting over the attack. She had been doing her shopping that day, but had left about an hour before the wand fire and explosion started. "In the morning, before anything started. Alice and I were doing some last minute school shopping."

"We were there when it happened," Sirius said grimly, leaning forward on the table. Everyone sitting around him also leaned forward, James, Peter and Remus especially. Sirius had not talked about the fight at all and they wanted to know what was going on in his mind.

"Who did you see? Were there people from there, the people who started the attack?" Alice asked anxiously. From what they knew about some of their classmates, it would surprise any of them if they were the attackers.

Sirius's mouth twitched, though it was unnoticeable. When he answered, it was in an awkward, distracted voice. "No… no, not that we could tell, anyway. They were all masked, you see."

"That makes them more dangerous, then," Frank said disgustedly, shaking his head. He stabbed a sausage on his dish and shoved it in his mouth, an angry glare in his eyes. "Unless you get one of them to talk, you might recognise the voice. If you don't, you have no idea who you're up against."

Sirius nodded distractedly, pushing around the food on his plate. "Yeah… you'd have no idea." When he was sure the others were still engulfed in their conversation, Sirius glanced over his shoulder, towards the Slytherin table. Regulus's back was to him, so he could not see the expression on his brother's face. Was Regulus terrified because he could be identified? Was he smug because everyone around him seemed to be discussing that disaster he was a part of? It made Sirius's stomach churn uncontrollably to think that Regulus could take pride in what he had done. With that thought in mind, Sirius began stuffing his dinner into his mouth.

"What's with you?" Remus asked. Sirius only ate that way when he was mad.

"Nofink, Moomy," Sirius said through a mouthful of roasted potatoes. With great effort, Sirius managed to swallow his dinner. "Nothing, I'm fine."

Remus watched Sirius through doubtful eyes for another moment before shrugging and turning to talk to Peter.

"Oh, Alice, have you seen Lily?" James asked suddenly. He was looking up and down the Gryffindor table searching for the girl, but she was nowhere in sight. James couldn't believe that Lily had missed the Prefect meeting and was also missing the Start of the Term Feast; it was _too_ much unlike her.

Alice frowned sadly at James and shook her head.

"She wasn't with you on the train?" James had thought that if Lily wasn't with the rest of the Prefects, she certainly would have been with her best friend. He didn't like what he was hearing. Was Lily okay?

"I'll explain later," was all Alice said before going back to her dinner, though not eating much of it. James saw the deeply saddened look in the girl's face and wondered what was going on.

After an hour, once the puddings had disappeared, Professor Dumbledore stood up. Almost at once a hush fell over the Great Hall as every student listened intently to what their Headmaster had to say.

"I trust many of you are aware of what occurred in Diagon Alley a little over a week ago," Dumbledore began, his voice carrying loud and clear across the dining hall. There was a rush of murmurs throughout the students. Even the Muggle-born first years had managed to find out what had happened in the alley. "Because of this, there will be extra security around the castle." There was another bout of murmurs; this time, however, some sounded mutinous. It was a well known fact the students loathed extra-security measures. Dumbledore's voice rose over the others, growing more forceful. "This is only to ensure your safety. While I cannot go into much detail about these measures, keep in mind that wandering the corridors at night will not benefit you, neither will attempting to sneak off school grounds.

"These are troubled times we are about to go through," Dumbledore continued, surveying the hall, eyes resting on as many students as possible."I advise all of you to be careful. Do not take my words lightly. I encourage all of you to stand together, to put aside your differences and help one another." There were some sceptical looks amongst the students, particularly among the Slytherins, but no one said anything. "Now," Dumbledore went on. "On a lighter note, I would like to introduce our newest Defence Against the Dark Arts professor." Dumbledore spread his left arm towards a middle-aged man with a bushy brown moustache and scruffy brown hair. "I would like you all to join me in welcoming Professor Hayes."

There was a scattered round of applause, which Professor Hayes acknowledged with a small smile. The students knew by now not to get attached to their Defence Against the Dark Arts professors. Hayes would be gone by the end of the year, just like the rest of his predecessors. The only hope any of the students had for him was that he appeared to look nicer than Professor Finely. Then again, that was not an incredible feat.

"Now, I'm sure you're all ready to go to bed and to be well rested for your classes tomorrow. Prefects, please escort your housemates to your common rooms. Good night!"

The Great Hall was filled with the sounds of the benches scraping along the floor. The first years followed their fifth year Prefects, looking apprehensive and thrilled about venturing further into the castle. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter hung back so they could speak with Alice, who had asked them to wait for her.

"So, what's wrong with Lily?" Remus asked concernedly as the group exited the Great Hall behind their fellow Gryffindors.

There was such a sadness emanating from Alice that the boys feared the absolute worse. "It's her parents," the seventh year said quietly.

"Well, what happened to them?" James pushed on urgently, a tiny bit of relief washing through him that Lily wasn't hurt. Not that he still wasn't worried; whatever happened to her parents would affect her.

Alice struggled to get the next words out. "They were in a car accident; there was nothing anyone could do to save them."

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter were silent. Mr. and Mrs. Evans were in a car accident, no one could save them… they had died. Each boy was suddenly feeling incredibly ill. They had seen Mr. and Mrs. Evans before at the platform; they had looked like nice people.

"What about Lily and her sister?" Sirius asked suddenly. "They weren't in the car when it happened, were they?"

Alice shook her head and the boys were instantly relieved. "No… Lily was at home and Petunia was with her boyfriend." Alice sighed and stared down at the marble floor. "Lily will be back in school on Monday. She just needed a few days to collect herself." Alice gave the boys another sad smile before heading on to the common room with Frank. James, Remus, Sirius and Peter paused in their place, unable to go much further.

"I can't believe Lily's parents _died_," Peter said disbelievingly.

"Lily can't be taking it well," Remus said, sidestepping a tiny second year who went running by him.

"Oi! No running!" James shouted after the second year's retreating back.

"Exercising your authority, Prongs?" Sirius asked, a hint of a smirk on his lips.

"Well, he could've knocked someone over."

"Prongs, the kid was three feet tall, he'd probably just knock himself over."

The boys were the last to enter the Gryffindor common room and saw that only a few people lingered downstairs, most had already gone up to bed or to put their belongings away. Remus, Sirius and Peter had settled themselves in the best armchairs by the fire, but James excused himself, saying he wanted to get to putting his things away. They didn't question him. James entered the dormitory to see that Frank was already halfway through setting his four-poster up.

"Good summer, James?" Frank asked as he took out a pair of robes for the next morning.

"Can't complain," James replied, sitting down beside his trunk and flipping up the latches. "Yours?"

"Pretty good, except for, well, you know."

James nodded knowingly and pulled out a sheet of parchment and his writing instruments from his trunk. He unscrewed the lid of his inkbottle and dipped his quill in. The quill paused over the parchment as he thought of what to write.

_Evans__ Lily,  
__Alice told me why you weren't at the Prefect meeting and  
__I know losing your parents is hard and  
__If you ever want to talk about  
__I'm really sorry about what happened, Lily. I really am. I wish I knew what else to say, but I don't. I'm just really sorry. And congratulations on making Head Girl, you deserve it.  
__James _

* * *

**Excerpt from Chapter Sixty Three: The Woes of Remus Lupin**

"Merlin, Remus, you're no fun, anymore."

"I'm studying, Sirius."

"You're always studying, Remus."

Remus slowly lifted his eyes from his book and glared witheringly at Sirius, who did not back down for a second. "Here's a wonderful idea, why don't you ask Peter if he wants to go to the kitchens with you?"

Peter glanced up from his Ministry pamphlets and nodded eagerly. "I'll go with you, Sirius."

Sirius gave one swift nod toward Peter before rounding again on Remus. "I was going to ask him, Remus, but I thought the three of us should go."


	63. The Woes of Remus Lupin

_Chapter Title borrowed from chapter nine of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: The Woes of Mrs. Weasley_

* * *

Chapter Sixty Three  
The Woes of Remus Lupin

Lily returned to school that Monday, as Alice said she would, and quickly fell back into her usual school routine. The new Head Girl did her best to act normally around her classmates, as if she wasn't hurting in any way, though no one expected her to do this. Her classmates did not completely understand what she was going through, very few of them having lost their own parents, but they did understand that she was grieving. Alice was the only person who truly understood how she was feeling, having lost her father when she was only twelve. No one expected Lily to put on an act, to pretend that everything was okay. Lily spent most of her time with Alice, who did not bring up Mr. and Mrs. Evans, something for which Lily was incredibly grateful. She could not stand to talk about her parents. It was too soon.

The seventh years knew this year was going to be the most difficult of their seven years at Hogwarts, so they were not surprised when every professor lectured them for a long time about the NEWT examinations at the end of the year. In every class the seventh years went to, the first thing the professors made sure to tell them was that these exams determined the outcome of their career searches. If they didn't apply themselves to their fullest extent, they could not hope to make anything out of themselves come next year.

They had heard all of this two years ago when they were due to sit their OWL exams; the seventh years didn't want to hear it again.

Some students took the professors' words lightly, thinking that, if worse came to worse, they could take the exams over again in the summer or work in a shop in Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade. Not everyone wanted to or was good enough to work at the Ministry or in St. Mungo's. There were some jobs that didn't require the top grades, but were just as good. There were others who took their mentors' words deeply to heart, knowing that they could not jeopardize their futures by slacking off this year. It was time to put their noses to the grindstone and study as if they had nothing else to do.

Out of all the seventh years, however, no one seemed to take the upcoming exams as seriously as Remus Lupin. Every night following the first day of school he could be found in the library, poring over his textbooks or his notes from three years ago. When he wasn't in the library, he was in the dormitory practising spells on his various belongings. Most of his classmates just thought he was the obsessive bookworm who liked studying; there was nothing unusual about it. James, Sirius and Peter knew better. Remus was terrified about what the end of seventh year meant. For every other seventh year it meant the start of their new lives, their promising futures.

For Remus, the end of the school year meant the end of everything he would ever be able to have. He was never going to have the bright future his classmates and friends would have. His lycanthropy would be made public knowledge soon after he graduated. If he wished to be employed by a witch or wizard, he was obligated to share this information. He would be fined heavily if he withheld it and Remus sure he would never be able to afford a fine. If he was employed by a Muggle, he would be fired in three months when he had to miss work because of the full moon and his recovery. Any sensible boss wouldn't stand for that and Remus knew it. It didn't matter if he had top grades; his life was going to fall apart come graduation.

"I need food!" Sirius announced loudly late one evening. He, Remus, Peter and Frank were in the dormitory. James was still at Quidditch tryouts, as there were three positions on the team open this year and it seemed more than half of Gryffindor house had turned out for the tryouts. Peter was sitting on his bed, reading through pamphlets about different Ministry jobs. Frank was supposed to be working on his Transfiguration homework, but was doodling in the margins instead and Remus had his head bent over his Charms textbook.

"Then get some," Remus muttered, underlining a helpful sentence with scarlet ink.

"I can't do it without help!"

"Forgotten how to eat, have you?"

"Merlin, Remus, you're no fun, anymore."

"I'm _studying_, Sirius."

"You're _always_ studying, Remus."

Remus slowly lifted his eyes from his book and glared witheringly at Sirius, who did not back down for a second. "Here's a wonderful idea, why don't you ask Peter if he wants to go to the kitchens with you?"

Peter glanced up from his Ministry pamphlets and nodded eagerly. "I'll go with you, Sirius."

Sirius gave one swift nod toward Peter before rounding again on Remus. "I was _going_ to ask him, Remus, but I thought the three of us should go."

"I'm _studying_, Sirius."

Exasperated, Sirius suddenly smirked and ripped the textbook out from Remus's hands. "Let's talk, Remus." When he said this, he was not smirking. His tone was completely serious.

Remus, however, did not notice his friend's tone. "Give me my book, Sirius."

"Never boring, living with those two," Frank said, shaking his head at his roommates' antics. "Think they'll kill each other?" he asked Peter curiously.

"Probably, that or one of them is going to lose a limb."

"Bloody hell, Sirius, can I have my book?" Remus snapped.

Sirius, using his height advantage, stood up on Remus's bed and held his Charms textbook above his head. "Not until you agree to go to the kitchens with me and Peter."

"I'm _busy_." Remus wobbly stood up on his bed and snatched the book back from Sirius. He dropped back down; causing Sirius to fall over onto the floor, and searched for the page he had been on. "Thanks, you made me lose my page," he muttered.

Sirius sighed and rolled his eyes as he stood up. This was a lost cause. "C'mon, Peter." He led the way to the door, Peter's scurrying footsteps behind him.

"What's wrong with _him_?" Peter asked as he shut the dormitory door.

Sirius was pulling the Marauder's Map out of his robe pocket. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." He smiled as the map began to take form. They had a clear path to the kitchens; there wasn't a soul in sight. "That, Wormtail, is the beginning of Moony's nervous breakdown." He started down the stairs. "It was bound to happen eventually."

* * *

September was passed in a blur of blue, sunny skies and perfect temperatures marred with the unsightly downfall of homework, preventing the seventh years from enjoying the beautiful weather. All of the professors decided their seventh years must have had nothing better to do than constantly work on complicated assignments. There was no such thing as a social life, recreational sports and reading, nothing of the sort! No, as far as the professors were concerned, their seventh years were going to spend their final year of Hogwarts within the confines of the castle walls.

"What are we going to do tomorrow night?" James hissed excitedly under his breath to Remus during Defence Against the Dark Arts. The following evening would be the first full moon of the school year and James wanted to make it the best, as it was the final first full moon of their schooling career. Once school was over, who knew if they would all be able to spend the full moons together?

Remus, who was looking exceptionally pale and sleepy, shook his head, rubbing his hands repeatedly over his eyes. "I dunno," he mumbled before stifling a deep yawn and taking down notes as Professor Hayes lectured them on the multiple properties of the Hungarian Horntail.

James watched his friend concernedly. He didn't like that the only thing Remus seemed to do lately was fret over the NEWTs and study constantly for them. James understood why his friend was doing this; James might have done the same thing if he was in that position. James knew he would be worrying about the exams if he knew that he had no hopes of getting anywhere once school was over. But James also knew that good grades wouldn't help someone like Remus.

What James hated the most was that this seemed to infringe on Remus's sleeping and eating habits. James had woken up at four in the morning that day to use the bathroom and saw Remus reading his Transfiguration notes by the light of his wand. Remus hardly stayed for more than a few minutes in the Great Hall at meal times, eating only a few bites of food before heading to the library or the dormitory. James knew why he did all this, but that didn't mean he liked it.

"Maybe we could go around Hogsmeade?" James suggested hopefully. It had been a while since the four roamed the streets of Hogsmeade in the dead of night.

"Whatever you want, James," Remus replied indifferently, scribbling out a misspelled word and replacing it. Remus couldn't deal with a full moon right now, there was too much else to do. He wished he could just skip over tomorrow night altogether, but he knew that was ridiculous.

"Maybe we could-"

"James, Remus, you're missing important facts," Professor Hayes cut in. Professor Hayes had been an instant hit amongst the students. After the hideous experiences with Professor Finely last year, Hayes was revered as a god. Professor Hayes didn't look down upon his students, despite what problems they might have had. He didn't lose his temper as easily as his predecessor. He respected his students and made sure they knew this.

"Sorry, sir," the boys murmured, returning to their note-taking.

When class ended, James immediately suggested that Remus go to the Hospital Wing. He didn't look as though he could make it through a double period of Transfiguration. Professor McGonagall would understand why he was missing. Professor McGonagall never questioned Remus's absences from class. But Remus refused, saying he couldn't afford to miss what they would be learning today. With his luck, it would end up on the NEWTs and he would have no idea what to do.

Shrugging hopelessly, James fell into step with Sirius and Peter, who were further ahead. There was no point in arguing with him, he just wouldn't listen to reason. The three boys only stopped walking when they heard Lily's shocked voice. They spun around to see that she was supporting Remus on her shoulder, a terrified look on her face. James, Sirius and Peter hurried over and James relieved Lily of her burden, bringing Remus down to the floor and propping him against the stone wall. He was sickeningly pale, the dark circles under his eyes more pronounced than ever due to his lack of sleep and the impending full moon. His eyes were shut and his face was scrunched in pain.

At once, Sirius stuck his head inside the doorway of the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom and called for their professor, who was outside almost instantly. He crouched down beside his ill student and put a hand to Remus's forehead. Concerned etched across his face, he looked up at Sirius and Peter. "You two, go on to class," he instructed them.

"But-" Sirius began. He wasn't leaving his friend like this.

"Please, Sirius, just listen to me. James and Lily can stay with him and I'll get Madam Pomfrey." When the two seventh years still looked doubtful, he added, "I will let you know what happened as soon as I can. You have my word on that."

Still reluctant, Peter and Sirius made their way to their next class while Professor Hayes hurried to the Hospital Wing. James kept a reassuring hand on Remus's shoulder, frustrated that his friend had brought a lot of this upon himself. If he had just listened to James, Sirius and Peter every time they suggested doing something fun like sneaking into the kitchens or Honeydukes', maybe this wouldn't have happened. Of course, the full moon had to take some of the blame, but maybe it wouldn't have hit him so hard if he wasn't overworking himself.

James glanced up and saw Lily looked extremely upset. It must have been destroying her to see people she cared about getting hurt. "Are you okay, Lily?" he asked, watching her closely.

"Fine…" she replied distractedly, waving a hand as if she was swatting away James's question. "What do you think happened?"

James sighed and searched for the right words to explain what must have been going on in his friend's mind. "Remus hasn't really been himself lately."

Lily's frown deepened. "What d'you mean?"

"He's been stressing himself out over the exams and hasn't been sleeping very much or eating very much lately. You've seen him in the common room; his nose is always in one of his textbooks. It's not healthy for him."

Lily shook her head, obviously confused. "I don't understand. He's smart; he doesn't need to do all that."

James nodded, a sad smile on his lips. "He is smart and, under any other circumstances, you would be right."

"What are you talking about?"

James took a deep breath; this wasn't something he should be telling Lily. Remus was the one who was going to have to explain everything, but James could set it up for him. "It doesn't matter how smart he is, or how good of a person he is. You probably think he has a good future ahead of himself, don't you?" Lily did not hesitate to nod and James felt a twinge of pride in the girl. She would never refuse to believe in her friends. "Well… that's not true."

Lily looked highly affronted. Her cheeks were red with building anger and her eyes became narrow slits as she glared at James. "How can you say that about one of your best friends?" she snapped.

"I'm not saying that it's fair," James hastened to add. The last thing he needed was for Lily Evans to think he had no faith in his friend. "Any hope of that bright future everyone thinks he has was destroyed when he was just a kid, before he had any chance of making himself into anything."

The red slowly left from Lily's face and she spoke calmly this time. "This has to do with that sickness he has, doesn't it?"

James had forgotten Lily knew as much that Remus was sick. Remus said she hadn't brought it up in ages and had actually started asking him about his mum again, as if _she_ was the sick one. "Yes, it does," he confirmed. "Anyone he would want to work for would have to know about it if they're a witch or wizard and chances are they won't want him working for him. If it's a Muggle, they'll fire him once he misses a lot of his workdays because he isn't feeling well. People don't understand it and it's not fair."

Lily looked down at the still form of Remus, who, if possible, looked even paler than before. Why was it taking Professor Hayes so long to get the nurse? What James was telling her sickened her. She hated that her friend was doing this to himself because he had no chance of making a good life for himself because of something he had no control over. Couldn't someone just look past that fact and see who he really was? "So what does he think all this studying will do? It doesn't appear to be doing much, it's just hurting him."

"I think Remus knows that too, but he won't admit it. He's stubborn when it comes to things like this. He thinks that maybe if he proves he isn't worthless, if he gets the top grades over everyone else, then he'll have some chance to make it. He's scared of life after Hogwarts because he knows he'll end up depending on his parents or on me, Sirius or Peter and he hates that. He thinks he's taken too much from us already."

"How do you _know_ all this?"

"He's my friend. I make it my business to know these things." James turned to squint down the corridor to see if the professor and nurse had returned. There was no one in sight yet. "What he doesn't know is that Sirius, Peter and I are happy to help him when he needs it."

"But-" Lily was cut off by a faint moan issuing from Remus's mouth. Remus brought a hand up to his forehead as his dazed eyes slowly opened. When he spotted James and Lily sitting by him, he instantly tried sitting up straighter, but James prevented him from doing so.

"Good morning, sunshine," James said pleasantly, as if it was every day Remus fell asleep in a corridor. "Have a good nap?"

"W-what happened?" Remus asked confusedly, scrunching his eyes together for a moment before opening them again.

"Your lack of necessary habits such as sleeping, eating, and having fun with your friends has caught up with you."

"Oh."

"Professor Hayes has gone to get Madam Pomfrey."

A grimace passed over Remus. As if fainting wasn't bad enough, now he had to face the wrath of Madam Pomfrey. "Great."

James carried on his matter-of-fact voice. "She'll be out for your blood and lecture you for an hour and a half at the least."

"Wonderful."

"Before she comes, can you promise me something?"

"What?"

James was utterly serious now. "Give yourself a break, don't work so hard."

"James-"

"Do you want to end up in this position again?"

"No."

"Then just listen to me, please."

The sound of footsteps distracted the three and they saw that Professor Hayes and Madam Pomfrey were approaching them. The nurse did indeed look furious, probably because Remus had not gone to her the moment he felt ill. James helped Remus to his feet and stepped away as Madam Pomfrey swooped in, immediately leading him away to the Hospital Wing. "Feel better, mate," James called.

"Here's a note for Professor McGonagall, explaining why you're late," Professor Hayes said, handing James the parchment. James and Lily thanked the professor and headed to the Transfiguration classroom.

"He'll be okay, won't he?" Lily asked nervously, glancing over her shoulder at the retreating backs of the nurse and Remus.

"He'll be fine," James assured her.

Lily sighed in relief. She bit down on her lip, as if she was struggling to decide whether she should tell him what was on her mind. "I… I got the letter you sent me. I don't think I ever told you I did."

James's eyes lit in surprise. "Did you?"

"Yes and it was very sweet."

"It was one line long, if you don't count everything I crossed out. I just wanted to tell you I was sorry. It was nothing, really."

"Yes, but it was still nice." Lily was silent for a moment, studying James out of the corner of her eye. "You know, maybe I've been wrong about you."

* * *

It was with great effort that Remus finally convinced Madam Pomfrey to let him out of the Hospital Wing. When they arrived at the infirmary earlier, the nurse had demanded that he go sit on one of the beds, where she forced him to drink a Dreamless Sleep Potion so he could catch up a little on his sleep. Then the nurse had him eat a meal so large he thought he'd be violently sick. He had half a mind to hide the food somewhere when he was full, but the nurse didn't leave him alone long enough to do that. She was insisting that he spend the night just so she could make sure he wasn't going to pass out again, but Remus wouldn't have that. He had important things to do.

Luckily, he promised that he would come to her the moment he was feeling ill the next day. He would even miss class if it was necessary.

Now he found himself walking towards the Great Hall. He wasn't hungry – how could he be after that monstrosity Madam Pomfrey had him consume? - but he knew dinner was going on and he needed to talk to someone. It couldn't wait another minute. There were very few people he knew he could trust completely and he was not being fair to one of them by keeping this a secret from her. He knew he could trust Lily. He knew she would never betray a secret of her friend's if she was asked not to. He didn't know why he had decided to tell her now, probably because she had seen him collapse right before a full moon. He had heard part of the conversation she'd had with James. James had done everything to set this up for him, to give him an opening to tell Lily.

Lily was a good person. She would never betray him if he told her he was a werewolf.

He could see the redhead leaving the Great Hall by herself. Perfect. It would be so much easier to get her to talk with him if she was by herself. He wouldn't have the added obstacle of shaking off Alice or Frank. "Lily!" he called.

Lily stopped and turned on the spot, trying to find her caller. When she spotted Remus, she gave him a small smile and met him by the staircase, where he was standing. "Are you feeling better?" she asked anxiously, her eyes searching him, looking for any signs of his illness.

"Yeah, loads better," he told her, nodding sincerely. "Err… can I talk to you for a bit, privately?"

There was a knowing look in Lily's eyes that told Remus she had an idea of what he wanted. "Sure, let's go outside."

Lily led the way out onto the sunny grounds and down toward the beech tree by the lake, the tree she knew Remus and his friends enjoyed sitting under when the weather permitted. The two sat down and Lily waited patiently for Remus to begin. If this was what she was suspecting, it would be hard for him to come out and say it.

Remus opened and closed his mouth several times before exhaling slowly and staring Lily straight in the eye. "First off… _please_ don't think any differently of me when I'm done," he asked her, his voice almost pleading. He had been so lucky with his friends since he started Hogwarts, the ones who knew his secret hadn't abandoned him. He didn't want Lily to be the first. He didn't know if he could handle losing a good friend like her.

The corners of Lily's mouth turned down, but she was genuine when she said, "Of course, Remus."

"I… I told you a long time ago that I get sick a lot… When I was three… I loved dogs; you need to understand that first. That's what got me out of my house one night fourteen years ago. I heard something scratching against the house and I thought it was a dog. But it wasn't. By the time I found out what it really was… it was too late, there was nothing the Healers could do to help me. They keep trying to come up with cures, but none of them have ever worked. They only make it worse. I… I'm a werewolf, Lily."

He kept his gaze focused on the grass. If Lily was repulsed by this information, by what he was, he didn't want to see it. He had gone for seven years without telling her, seven years keeping this vital part of his life from her. He knew she must have had suspicions about him. He didn't know if they screamed _werewolf_, but he knew she didn't entirely believe the stories he gave her about his illness. He hoped she would find it in herself to understand why he didn't tell her and to forgive him for it.

"It's okay," Lily said gently. "You don't have to be afraid of looking at me." Remus slowly lifted his eyes and saw that Lily's were swimming with tears. Wonderful, he had just made a girl still grieving for her parents cry. "I… I always suspected it was something like this. When James said people wouldn't understand, wouldn't care who you were. Severus… I never believed him when he said you were one. I didn't _want_ to believe him."

"Werewolves _are_ disgusting," Remus muttered bitterly.

"Don't ever say that," Lily said sharply, wiping her eyes clean and staring Remus in the eye. She would _never_ allow her friend to say that about himself. "Not _all_ werewolves are disgusting. _You _aren't disgusting. I could never say anything like that about you and I don't want you saying it about yourself. You're _not_ disgusting! You're a good person, you don't deserve what happened to you, but you fight it. Don't _ever_ speak so lowly of yourself!"

Remus couldn't help but smile as Lily yelled at him. The fact that she was saying all of this to him meant that she wasn't repulsed by him, that she accepted him. Maybe it meant that she still wanted to be his friend.

"_What_ are you smiling at?" Lily asked suddenly.

Remus chuckled lightly. "You're yelling at me."

"Well I'm certainly not allowing one of my friends to say that he's disgusting! I need to get this through your head!"

"You're one of the few."

Lily sighed and gave Remus a sad smile. "I know there are people who didn't make this easy for you. I won't be one of them. I still want to be your friend."

"Thank you, Lily."

"I promise I'll never tell anyone. But I guess James, Sirius and Peter know?"

"They've known since second year."

"Good. It would have been horrible if you went through almost all of school and no one knew." Lily stood up. "I need to get inside, talk to James about sorting out those two fifth year Slytherin Prefects."

"Jenkins and Parkinson?"

"Yes, they're absolutely horrible. James knows what to do with absolutely horrible people."

"Do my ears deceive me?" Remus said, shocked, standing up as well. "Is Lily Evans trying to use James Potter to get back at people she doesn't like?"

"No," Lily said defensively. "I'm just going to ask James to talk to them."

"And intimidate them."

"If he feels like it, who am I to say no?"

Remus was happy to see that some of Lily's old self was coming back. He knew she needed time to cope with her parents' deaths and it seemed she was doing so, but she was coming back to herself. The Lily everyone knew was breaking through again. "I haven't asked you yet, are _you_ feeling better?"

Lily knew at once what Remus was talking about. "Not completely, but I'm getting there."

"Good, everyone's missed the old Lily."

Lily smiled and pulled Remus into a quick hug. "You're a good friend."

"So are you." Remus stepped back and began leading the way to the castle. "Now, let's go inside, I want to see what James says when you ask him to deal with those two."

Lily rolled her eyes, but couldn't keep the grin off her face. She hurried to fall into step with Remus and headed to Gryffindor Tower.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Sixty Four: Furious Centaurs and Utter Rubbish**_

"What's wrong with you three?" Lily Evans had sat down beside Peter, pulling a dish of stew towards her.

"We're lamenting our lives, Lily," Sirius told her, his voice muffled as his face was pressed into his hands. He had a throbbing headache; just the sound of Lily's voice was enough to push his head into a bloody mutiny.

"Having fun?"

"Loads."

"What happened to you three? Did you all catch the same bug?"

James managed a small, slightly sickened, smile for her. "We do everything together, Lily. Haven't we told you?"


	64. Furious Centaurs and Utter Rubbish

Chapter Sixty Four  
Furious Centaurs and Utter Rubbish

Any plans that the stag, dog, rat and werewolf might have had of venturing past the Shrieking Shack's walls tonight were marred completely by the vicious thunderstorm raging outside. They weren't sure Hogsmeade had ever seen so much rain before and, of course, this _had_ to occur the night they wanted to roam the village under the full moon's light. Mother Nature was rubbing their faces in her power. There was not a second that the sky was free of the rumbling thunder and the brightly flashing lightening. The rain was falling in buckets, causing a deafening racket on the rooftop of the Shrieking Shack. There was not a soul out on the cobblestone streets that night, for fear of drowning if they stayed out for more than three seconds.

Despite the inclement weather, the three Animagi were determined to make this night a good one for their werewolf friend, who had only just rebounded from his horrible month. They wanted him to have fun and they weren't going to let a little thing like bad weather ruin this for them. Of course, they knew better than to go outside, right now anyway. It would look much too unusual for four of the five Gryffindor seventh year boys to be ill the next morning. The best the Animagi could do for their friend within the confines of the Shrieking Shack was to make sure he didn't bite or scratch himself at all. This meant a lot of distractions.

Half the furniture in the upstairs of the Shrieking Shack had been destroyed beyond repair through the almost seven years that the werewolf had been visiting the place. The only thing that remained intact was the four poster bed, which the werewolf used when he was still human. The Animagi knew better than to bring damage to that particular piece, lest they incur the wrath of the werewolf when he was human again. The fact that a good portion of the shack was already far gone allowed the Animagi and werewolf to have free reign to run about the place to their hearts' contents.

The dog and the stag were currently chasing each other relentlessly about the room, while the werewolf watched them with what must have been interest and the rat hovered in the corner, trying desperately to not get stomped on. The padded feet of the dog scuffled across the wooden floorboards, while the clopping from the stag followed close behind. The werewolf and the rat were not entirely sure why the stag and dog had suddenly decided to chase each other, but it was fun to watch, nevertheless. It was only when the large dog trod on the werewolf's paws that things went wrong.

A dangerous snarl ripped from the centre of the werewolf's throat as he charged towards the dog, who instantly went running out of the room. There was a brief beat in which the stag and rat watched the werewolf with what could pass for nervous looks and the werewolf ran after the dog. The stag tore after him, the rat scuttling along a good distance behind the three larger animals, terrified of being trampled on. The dog ran furiously down the steps and towards the door leading into the Shrieking Shack.

Within moments, all four animals were running through the tunnel heading towards the opening under the Whomping Willow.

Somehow, the stag managed to wedge himself between the dog and the werewolf and took the brunt of the werewolf's lunge. The stag kept on his two hind legs and fought the werewolf back, trying to convey that it had only been an accident - the dog hadn't meant to tread on his paws. The werewolf seemed to calm down after a moment and retreated backwards, showing the dog that all had been forgiven. Now that they were in the tunnel, they could hear that the larger part of the storm had disappeared. It was still raining, but not nearly as badly as it had been earlier.

They didn't have to be stuck inside all night after all.

The rat ran ahead and prodded the knot at the base of the Whomping Willow's trunk. The thrashing branches suddenly stopped, giving the group of animals enough time to wriggle their way through the hole and onto the Hogwarts grounds. The grounds were damp and muddy, very difficult to walk across, even on four legs. The only light illuminating the grounds was the light provided from the full moon, casting a white glow across the grass. The torches in the castle long ago extinguished. There wasn't a soul out on the grounds except for the four animals that had just emerged from underneath the willow. Hagrid had long ago gone to sleep, taking his boarhound Fang with him.

There was no one outside to notice the four unusual animals heading straight for the Forbidden Forest.

The grass squished beneath the four and they slipped across the way, the stag almost falling headfirst into a tree trunk, much to the amusement of his companions. Instead, the stag fell backwards, causing a puddle of mud to splatter up, spraying the dog and werewolf and completely covering the rat. The dog barked loudly when the stag got to his four feet and the huge brown spot on his backside was visible. In what passed for a glare, the stag set off after the dog. They weaved in and out of the trees, going deeper still into the forbidden woods.

The group of animals continued on their way, the stag giving up on his pursuit of the dog. They were carefree in their prowl of the woods, only interested in making this the best full moon the werewolf had ever had. They would have succeeded in their endeavor, had it not been for the set of three arrows that narrowly missed their targets. The werewolf let another angry growl rip from his throat, this one louder and more furious than the one he had let out in the Shrieking Shack.

A pack of ten centaurs stood a few yards away, three had their bows raised and pointed where the stag, dog and werewolf stood. The centaurs looked livid, their eyes narrowed into slits. They were not pleased. The biggest of the centaurs, a reddish brown one, stepped forward, placing another arrow in his bow as he did so. "Leave this place, you do not belong here," he commanded in an authoritative tone.

The dog snarled, baring his sharp teeth at the centaur. The centaurs did not own the forest; they had no right to tell them to leave. They would leave when they wanted to.

Another centaur, this one a palomino, joined the reddish one. His bow was not drawn, but his hands looked ready to grab it if needed. "Werewolves do not belong in this forest," he said in a deep, commanding voice, glaring at the werewolf with the utmost contempt.

The stag reared his head back disgustedly. He wanted very much to change back into his human self and tell these bloody centaurs off, but knew better than to do that. That was all he and his friends needed, for their werewolf friend to smell human blood and snap. This would give the centaurs more of a reason to shoot at them. And who was to say the centaurs wouldn't inform any of the staff that there was a student who could turn from human to stag at will? That was asking for it.

At the stag's feet squeaked the nervous rat, who could not be seen when standing next to the large creatures he was with. He was petrified. He knew the stag and dog well, they would not back down without a fight. The centaurs either ignored the rat or else they did not hear him. "Leave, _now_," the reddish centaur persisted heatedly. The dog barked furiously again, while the werewolf let out a roar of its own. They were _not_ leaving just because a group of arrogant centaurs told them to. "You have no business being here!"

The Animagi and werewolf stood defiantly in their places. They were _not_ letting these centaurs push them around. The centaurs didn't _own _the forest. This was just as much their forest on the nights of the full moon than it was theirs. They had heard several dozen times from Hagrid that the centaurs were proud little buggers, thought they were the only creatures who belonged in these woods, but the Animagi and werewolf had never had a problem with them before. Now, all of the sudden, the centaurs wanted to cause trouble?

"Fine," the palomino said disgustedly. "If you will not leave will, we will have to give you some _encouragement_."

The group of centaurs placed the arrows in their bows in one, swift motion and before the Animagi and werewolf knew what was happening, they were running, ten arrows just missing them by mere centimetres. Stumbling across the muddy forest ground, they could hear the furious shouts of the centaurs.

The four animals took this as their cue to call an end to the night.

* * *

"I feel like complete rubbish."

"Yeah, well, I feel like the rubbish that's found on the rubbish you feel like."

"That must be some serious rubbish."

"Can we please stop saying 'rubbish'? It's making me ill."

James placed his forehead on the cool, oddly comforting, wood of the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. They had all woken up with violent headaches, runny noses and deep, shuddering coughs, not to mention stomachaches that were bound to come out sooner or later. This was what they got for spending the night outside, in the rain, in the middle of the muddy Forbidden Forest. Add a rampage of angry centaurs shooting arrows and this was what led the boys to this state of utter rubbish. They knew, though, that if _they_ were feeling this terrible, Remus must have been feeling ten times worse. They had avoided the Hospital Wing all day, not wanting Madam Pomfrey to see them all sick at the same time.

It would raise too many suspicions.

"What's wrong with you three?" Lily Evans had sat down beside Peter, pulling a dish of stew towards her.

"We're lamenting our lives, Lily," Sirius told her, his voice muffled as his face was pressed into his hands. He had a throbbing headache; just the sound of Lily's voice was enough to push his head into a bloody mutiny.

"Having fun?"

"Loads."

"What happened to you three? Did you all catch the same bug?"

James managed a small, slightly sickened, smile for her. "We do everything together, Lily. Haven't we told you?"

"I believe you have." Lily ladled some stew into her dish and spoon it around before eating some, ignoring the boys' groans of revulsion at the sight of food. "Have you seen Remus yet today?" Her voice was concerned. All the previous day she had watched her friend nervously, just waiting for him to pass out again as he had after Defence Against the Dark Arts. She was grateful that he hadn't, but she couldn't erase the anxiety she felt. She supposed this was how James, Sirius and Peter felt a lot of the time – never sure when the full moon was going to be too much for their friend. Lily knew Remus had told his friends about his Lycanthropy when they were just twelve, and she could see that they were glad he had told her. He had never willingly told anyone about it before.

James shook his head. "He's probably sick enough already; we don't need to spread our germs to him." That and they didn't want to face the wrath of Madam Pomfrey. She would probably keep them overnight for not going straight to her the moment they first coughed or felt their noses run. "Are you going to see him?"

Lily nodded. "Right after I finish eating."

Sirius grinned. "Send him our regards, would you?"

Lily rolled her eyes, but grinned despite this. "Of course."

James chuckled. "And our love."

Sirius quickly jumped in again. "And, while you're at it, would you mind telling him we plan on kicking his arse the moment he feels better."

Lily's eyes widened. "Why would you do that?"

"Oh, he'll know why." They wouldn't be sick if it wasn't for him and his full moons. It was all in good fun, of course. They took this upon themselves, getting sick. They were the ones who wanted to go outside at night. Had it been Remus's decision, they would have been stuck in the Shrieking Shack for the duration of the full moon. It _was_ Sirius who had trodden on a werewolf's paw, after all.

Lily looked doubtful, but shrugged and asked nothing more on the subject of bringing physical harm to Remus's rear end. Instead, she was treated to a seemingly mutinous discussion about the centaurs living in the Forbidden Forest.

"Right buggers, they are," James snarled. If it wasn't for the centaurs, they would have had a better night than they had. They still would be sick, but they wouldn't have had to run from sets of arrows pointed at their vital body parts.

"They think they own the forest," Peter lamented.

"What does it matter if they think they own the forest?" Lily asked, utterly nonplussed. Since when did they have such a vendetta against the centaurs?

"Well…" James did some quick thinking. Why _would_ it matter to them if the centaurs thought they owned the forest? James, Sirius and Peter – the boys who _weren't_ Animagi – shouldn't care in the slightest. But the James, Sirius and Peter who _were_ Animagi cared a great deal. They couldn't go out into Hogsmeade every time the full moon rolled around; they had to vary their routines. The Forbidden Forest would _not_ be cut off to them.

"We just think it's arrogant of them," Sirius supplied easily. James was finally in good standings with Lily, Sirius knew he didn't want a little flub to ruin that. Only Merlin knew how Lily would react to discovering that the three of them were illegal Animagi.

Lily considered this. Sirius had a point. The centaurs weren't the only inhabitants of the Forbidden Forest – there were unicorns, owls, even large and numerous spiders if the rumors were true. They didn't have the right to claim that no one else could go into the woods. But why would they care so much? Lily had hardly ever heard them express any interest in that plot of land. Then again, they were the boys who loved anything that was out-of-bounds, they probably thought the Forbidden Forest would be their next endeavor.

She hoped it wasn't. James was the Head Boy. He had to set an example for the younger students and going into the Forbidden Forest certainly wasn't going to help.

"Heads down!" Sirius said suddenly, staring avidly at the tabletop, James and Peter doing the same.

"_What_ are you doing?" Lily asked, looking around as though she expected someone to start throwing mashed potatoes.

"Madam Pomfrey!" Peter whispered urgently.

"We can't let her see us!" James elaborated.

"Why not?"

When he was sure the nurse's back was to him, Sirius picked his head up and raised his eyebrows at Lily. "If we let her see us like this, she'll give us grief until we've graduated!"

"Because you didn't go to her when you got sick?"

"Exactly!" James burst out, a little louder than he would have liked. Sending everyone who was staring at him a glare, he went on. "What does Madam Pomfrey live for except to badger those of us who don't run to the Hospital Wing for every runny nose?"

Lily observed the circles under each boy's eyes, their red, clogged noses and the overall nauseous looks on their faces. "You three have more than just runny noses."

"Yes, but it's not like we're deathly ill," James said exasperatedly.

Lily shrugged and continued eating her dinner. When she was finished she left the boys to their lamentation of their illness and decided to head to the Hospital Wing. She purposely took her time getting there. It wasn't as though she didn't want to see her friend, she was just afraid of what she might see. From what she knew, werewolf transformations were dreadful and, if the werewolf was cut off from all sources of meat, he would resort to biting and scratching himself. She remembered all those times that she had seen Remus sporting a bruise on his face or an arm wrapped in thick bandages. She always wondered what happened that would cause those injuries. She thought he was just clumsy.

Clumsiness was far from the real reason.

When she arrived at the Hospital Wing, it was to see Remus sitting up in his bed, rummaging for something in the bedside table. When she saw him holding his sleeve up to his nose, she surmised it could only be a tissue he was searching for. _He_ was sick too? She supposed what James said was true – they really _did_ do everything together, including catching the common cold. She knocked lightly on the door and Remus pulled himself away from his search. He smiled at her and gestured to the chair that was placed at the foot of his bed.

"How are you feeling?" Lily asked tentatively, pulling out a tissue from her own pocket and handing it to him. She saw up close that he did not look as bad as she had fretted. His face did not bear any bruises, though there were several scratches on his cheeks and there was a light layer of bandages wrapped around his wrist. Other than that, he looked just as his friends did – red nosed and utterly miserable.

"Like someone decided to take away my breathing abilities," Remus replied, his voice stuffed, gratefully accepting the tissue.

Lily nodded. "Oh, James and Sirius wanted to me tell you they send their regards, their love and to also… err… tell you they're going to 'kick your arse' when you feel better."

"Which one said that – James or Sirius?"

"Sirius."

Remus snorted knowingly. "Would you mind telling him I plan on doing the same thing to him? He deserves it more." Remus did not forget what led them out into the tunnel in the first place – Sirius treading on his paws last night. Sirius was a large dog, weighed a lot, it was painful.

Lily looked as if she wanted to question him further on the subject, but settled for saying, "I'm sure you both have good reason."

"Yeah, we do." Remus shifted in his bed, bringing his bandaged arm to his stomach. Remus being sick at the same time as recovering from a full moon had only happened once in his life, when he was eleven. His grandfather had been there, at least, to help him recover. Now he was at the mercy of the school nurse, who was not happy that he had somehow managed to catch a cold during his transformation. Madam Pomfrey didn't need to know that he had left the Shrieking Shack and brought this upon himself.

"Anyway," Lily went on, looking around the infirmary, unsure of what to say. "When… when is the next full moon?" Lily almost scoffed at herself. What a stupid question to ask. _When is the next full moon? Real sensitive, Evans_.

Remus, thankfully, didn't seem to find the question insensitive at all. He answered her question as if it was nothing at all. "The twenty sixth of October."

"At least it's not on Halloween," Lily offered optimistically. "It has been before, though, hasn't it?"

"Yes it has… Fourth year was the last time that happened, I think." He didn't mind if the full moon was on Halloween. This year the moon fell at the worst possible time – on Christmas. He'd rather the full moon fall on Halloween, Easter, and his birthday than for it to be on Christmas. There was no way he was going to spend Christmas day lying in his dormitory, too sick to enjoy the holiday. He had already told his parents to expect him for the holidays.

He knew James wanted them all to spend the holiday at the castle, because this was their last opportunity, but Remus didn't want to ruin their Christmas because he was sick. He hadn't even told them when the December full moon fell.

"I remember that night," Lily said with a small shudder. "That was when someone broke into the castle, wasn't it?"

Remus grimaced, recalling that night all too clearly. It had been a long time since he had thought about his fourth year, the year when Fenrir Greyback made a reappearance in his life. The few times he did think about it, he felt something clench in his stomach and overwhelming desire to throw something extremely heavy. It was people like Greyback who helped give werewolves the terrible lot in life they had. He set the example that made no one want to employ them.

"Remus?" Lily said quietly, breaking him out of his thoughts. "What's the matter?"

"Hmm?" He had completely forgotten the question Lily had asked him before, getting too wrapped up in his bitter thoughts about Greyback.

"You look mad."

"Just thinking, that's all." He shifted again in his bed, his back sore. Apparently he had fell one too many times last night and the last one he had ended up on his back. How that happened, he would never be entirely sure.

"About what?"

Remus had forgotten the inquisitive Lily still existed. She hadn't asked many questions, in or outside of class, since her parents died. She must have been sick of them – the constant questions of why her parents died had to be buzzing around her mind longer than she liked. He hadn't talked about fourth year in a long time, not since the train ride home when he finally caved in and told his friends exactly what had occurred in the Shrieking Shack.

He didn't know if he wanted to tell Lily, not so soon after she had just found out he was a werewolf. "Just… about the person who turned me into a werewolf," he told her, in a tone that suggested he really didn't want to broach the subject further.

Lily frowned. "Oh… wh-what's his name?"

Remus couldn't keep the grimace from sliding onto his face or the disgust from appearing in his voice. "Fenrir Greyback."

"That sounds like a terrible person."

"He is."

The infirmary door opened suddenly and James came scurrying in, holding his sleeve up to his nose, clearly in an attempt to stifle the running. "I couldn't take it anymore!" he said when he saw the raised eyebrows Remus and Lily were sending him. "My nose feels like it's going to fall off my face and run away before I can catch it!"

Remus snorted. "You think _you_ feel bad?"

"Oh yeah, how're you feeling?"

"Better than you at the moment, I think."

James sighed and shook his head. "The day when a werewolf feels better the day after the full moon than a person with the common cold is the day you know the world is ending."

Madam Pomfrey came swooping down upon James, furious that the relative peacefulness of the Hospital Wing had been shattered. "Mr. Potter, what's this racket you're causing?"

James instantly shrunk under the glare of the nurse. "I don't feel good, Madam Pomfrey. I'm sick."

The nurse nodded to one of the empty beds and James sat down while she looked for the appropriate potions.

He jerked his head towards the back of Madam Pomfrey and said in an undertone, "She scares me."

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Sixty Five: A Well-Deserved Date**_

"Look, he's standing right there. I can hit him from here!"

"Yeah, he is standing right there, but there's also a giant piece of land between you and him."

"So?"

"So, that means there's the likelihood that some poor innocent bugger will walk between you and Snivellus and get hit with whatever hex you're planning to throw at him."

"Serves them right for getting in the way."

"Sirius!"


	65. A Well Deserved Date

Chapter Sixty Five  
A Well Deserved Date

"Look, he's standing right there. I can hit him from here!"

"Yeah, he is standing right there, but there's also a giant piece of land between you and him."

"So?"

"_So_, that means there's the likelihood that some poor innocent bugger will walk between you and Snivellus and get hit with whatever hex you're planning to throw at him."

"Serves them right for getting in the way."

"Sirius!"

James yanked Sirius's wand from his hand and held it high above his head, standing up on the bench he had just been sitting on before he had to go and retrieve his best friend. Sirius, both feet still on the ground, rolled his eyes. Didn't James realise the time had long passed that simply holding something over his head would prevent him from getting what he wanted? "Give me my wand, Prongs."

"Not until you say you're not going to hex Snape from here."

Sirius folded his arms across his chest and shrugged. "Fine. I won't hex Snape from here."

James slowly stepped down from the bench and handed Sirius his wand. "Good."

Sirius snatched the wand from James and turned to proceed towards the Slytherin again, who was reading a book by the lake, completely unaware that he was being watched and pursued. "I'll just get closer to him!"

James should not have been surprised. He chased after Sirius, his own wand out in case he needed it to stop his best friend from doing something he would be forced to regret. James didn't need this. He was finally make headway in convincing people that he was a good Head Boy, that he deserved the title, and Sirius was going to go and ruin it all for him in one go. James broke into a run and managed to duck under Sirius's extended right arm and stood directly in front of him, only to fall to the ground as Sirius ran straight into him. The two went tumbling to the ground and rolled a few feet before coming to a halt at the base of a tree.

"What the _bloody hell_ is wrong with you?" Sirius snapped, lying on his back as if he was afraid he'd fall to several pieces if he got up too fast.

"Look, I won't stop you from hexing Snape if he has a go at you first and _deserves_ it, but don't hex him just because you can." James slowly brought himself to his elbows, where he leaned back on one and rubbed the back of his head with his free hand.

Sirius's mouth almost fell open. "Merlin, Prongs, you've gone soft," he said, gaping at his best friend in amazement.

James stood up indignantly, holding out a hand to help his friend. Pulling Sirius to his feet, James replied, "I have _not_. I've just got… responsibilities now."

This comment seemed to strike a chord within Sirius. "So I _don't_ have responsibilities?"

"I didn't say that," James hastened to add.

"Just because I haven't got a pretty little badge like you or Remus doesn't mean I don't have responsibilities. I'm a good student, I work hard. Those were my responsibilities the last time I checked. Not to mention I spent the entire summer living on my own, keeping up a _flat_ all by myself. That's being responsible."

"I _know_, Padfoot. It's just that Dumbledore made me Head Boy. I have no idea why he did it, but he did. I'm not about to disrespect Dumbledore by taking advantage of the title and allowing my friends to get away with things they should be getting detention for!"

"You mean like when we would convince Remus to not give us detention after we did horrible things?"

James gritted his teeth. Trust Sirius to bring that up. He finally understood how his Lycanthropic friend must have felt every time they were doing something wrong and they begged him to let them off the hook, just that once. But it was _never_ just that once. "Nice, make me feel guilty. Thanks a million, Padfoot."

Sirius smirked cheekily. "No problem."

James took a heavy breath and tried to explain what he was thinking to Sirius in a rational manner. "Look, what I'm just trying to say is that I know I don't deserve to be Head Boy. There's a bunch of other seventh year guys who would do the job better than I do, but I _am_ Head Boy. I just want to show Dumbledore he didn't make a mistake trusting the job to me."

Sirius listened quietly. He knew he was being an idiot and James was right. Perhaps he was just going to have to leave his jinx-friendly self behind. As difficult as it may be to comprehend, they were adults now. Sirius certainly couldn't go around hexing people for the fun of it very much longer. There would come a day when someone who was much more skilled with a wand and much more knowledgeable of dangerous hexes would send a jinx right back at him. "I know, James. Sorry for being a git."

James laughed and clapped a hand to Sirius's shoulder. "You can't help it that you were born that way." James replaced his wand in his pocket. "I'm heading down to the Quidditch Pitch; need to get some flying in before practise tomorrow."

"How's the new team looking?"

The tryouts had proved fruitful. James and his fellow Chaser Jeanie Becker, worked extremely well with a third year, Alexandra Benz. The third year was a talented flier and always managed to trick the Keeper when she went to score. The new Beater, Julian Greenfield, was born to whack around Bludgers, not to mention he had exceptional aim, and their new Keeper, Hal Oliver, was one talented Quidditch player for a second year. James had a feeling this would be another brilliant year of Quidditch. They would probably snag the cup again, barring any potential disasters.

"It's great; the other teams don't stand a chance." James suddenly stopped walking when he saw a head of red hair heading out onto the grounds. An idea occurred to him… "See you later, mate." Waving to Sirius, James cautiously approached Lily. He wasn't sure if this was a smart idea, or if he was just going to get stuck back at square one with her once more. But he had to give it a try. He just had to be nice and polite. He had to be the James Potter that Lily was starting to come around to.

"Hey, Lily," James said, flashing the girl a friendly smile. He fell into step with her. "What are you up to?" Just keep it casual, there was no need for him to feel nervous or act like a bloody buffoon.

"Just going for a walk," Lily replied calmly.

Flying could wait. It wasn't like he _needed_ to practise, anyway. "Fancy some company?" James's jaw was set; it was almost as if he was bracing himself for the resounding 'no' he had heard for far too long.

He was pleasantly shocked when Lily smiled and accepted. The two started off in the direction of Hagrid's Hut.

"So," James began, still in awe of his incredible luck. Lily Evans had _willingly_ decided to spend time with him! "How's seventh year treating you?" _Brilliant, Potter, talking about school!_ He finally had the opportunity to have a real conversation with Lily and all he could think to ask her was a question about _school? _Besides, the beginning of seventh year would only remind Lily of what happened to her parents. He was an insensitive wart, he was.

"It's good," Lily replied, following a stray leaf with her eyes. "Lots of work, but you know that."

James refrained from sighing in relief like he wanted to so much. He kept up the conversation with a thoroughly understanding tone of voice. "Yeah I do. It's like the professors think that's all we have to do with our lives."

Lily laughed lightly. "I think they expect us to do our homework in the loo, that's how much they've given us."

"Don't even say that, Lily. I enjoy my private time without my homework, thank you." _Another score for James Potter, talking to a girl about your 'private' time in the bathroom!_ Merlin, he was revolting. He was really on a roll today. "So, have you been thinking of your career plans?" That was much better than the first question, unless Lily was terrified about the future and didn't like talking about it. He hoped that wasn't the case.

Much to his extreme gratitude, Lily was not hesitant in discussing her future plans. "I'm thinking of applying for a job with the _Daily Prophet_."

"Really?" James said, mildly surprised. "I didn't know you liked writing."

Lily nodded, grinning. "Yes, I love it. And the quality of the newspaper is really starting to bother me; I want to bring it back up to standards."

"Don't let Remus hear you saying the paper is bad; his dad writes for them."

"Oh, I know. He's one of the only writers I enjoy reading." Lily kicked up a pebble in the grass and watched it travel over the grass before landing in a mound of dirt. "What about you? What do you want to do?"

"I dunno… I wanted to be an Auror for a long time, but I'm not sure if that's what I want to do anymore."

"Really? Did you have any other ideas?"

"I thought being a Healer would be nice, like my dad."

"I didn't know your dad was a Healer."

"Yeah, he's been one for ages. I just think it sounds like a great job, helping sick people feel better. I've already taken all the necessary classes, most are the same as the classes you'd have to take to be an Auror."

"What about your friends? What do they want to do?"

"Sirius is set on becoming an Auror. Honestly, I pity any Dark wizard he catches. He would probably talk so much they'd turn themselves in just to make him shut up." Lily chuckled. "Peter wants to open up a shop, like his dad. His dad used to work at the Magical Menagerie."

Lily's eyes widened in horror at James's words. "Is he alright?"

James knew at once what she was talking about. Even with what she had to deal with earlier in the year, she definitely would have heard about what happened in Diagon Alley. "He's fine, shaken up and out of a job, but physically he's okay."

Lily's shoulders, which had tensed moments before, relaxed. "Good… that's good."

The two continued walking in silence. James was in deep thought. If he asked Lily this question that just occurred to him, he could very well reverse every friendly thought she had about him. He didn't like to think of that possibility. If he couldn't have Lily in any other form, he just wanted her to be his friend. But if he didn't ask what he was thinking, he was never going to know what she would say. Sweet Merlin, if only he hadn't asked her a million and one times before. But he had to try. He couldn't leave Hogwarts and never have once successfully asked Lily Evans out on a date.

"Lily," James said uncertainly.

"James?"

"I… I was just wondering, if you didn't have any plans or anything, you know; if you're not already going with Alice and Frank, if you would like to come with me to Hogsmeade next weekend?" There… he had asked her. What was more, he hadn't done it in the overly confident, arrogant manner he usually did. He prayed she would take that into consideration.

He could have fainted from joy and shock when Lily said yes.

* * *

"I have a date with Lily Evans."

"We know, Prongs."

"I mean in _ten minutes_ I have a date with Lily Evans!"

"Finally learned how to use that ridiculous watch, did you?"

"Stuff it, Moony." James looked as if he was about to pass out. His face was almost as white as Remus's after a full moon and he looked absolutely sick. His breakfast had gone untouched.

The elation of finally asking Lily out and having her accept his invitation had long ago faded away. Now he was faced with the prospect of spending the entire day with the girl, the girl he had held a torch for since he was at least twelve. He had had dreams about what this day might be like, but he had never imagined what he would do if it actually came to pass. What if he ran out of things to say and ended up saying nothing at all? What if everything he said was stupid, thoughtless and arrogant? Lily wouldn't think he'd changed a bit. She would go right back to hating him.

"You'll be fine, James," Sirius said bracingly. "Look at the facts: Lily isn't disgusted by you anymore."

"Thanks, that makes me feel _so_ much better."

"But she _doesn't _hate you," Peter said encouragingly. "That's a good thing."

"It is, Wormtail, but that doesn't mean she can't go right back to despising me the moment I say something ridiculous."

"I know you had to deflate that enormous head of yours to get her to consider you, mate, but inflate it a bit more. You lost some of your confidence," Sirius chided, elbowing James lightly in the ribs.

James, in an attempt to get his mind off his date, asked, "What are you guys going to do in Hogsmeade without me?"

"I'm going with the lovely Emily Fort," Sirius said, drawing himself up proudly. He had long since left his embarrassment behind. Emily was a great girl; in his opinion, she was one of the best. What did he care if his friends laughed at his expense? He was happy and that was what mattered.

James nodded and turned his attention to Remus and Peter, who were throwing down Chocolate Frog cards on the Gryffindor table. "What about you two?"

"Well," Remus began casually, turning over a Morgana card in his hands and tossing it to Peter, who missed it and had to pick it up off his lap, "Since you two are abandoning us, Peter and I will be spending our time in Honeydukes'"

"Remus has run out of a chocolate stash," Peter explained, tucking his new card into his deck.

"I didn't _run out_," Remus said sharply, shooting an angry glare at Sirius, who was suddenly preoccupied with staring at his Ravenclaw girlfriend from across the Great Hall with a dazed expression on his face. When he could no longer ignore Remus's glance, his slowly turned and pretended to look highly affronted. "Excuse me? Are you _accusing me_ of stealing your precious chocolate?"

"Well, it wasn't James or Peter I found with a bunch of chocolate wrappers hidden under their beds, now was it?"

"Sirius also had a hunk of chocolate wedged between his teeth," Peter added, shuffling through his deck of cards.

Sirius grimaced at his friend. "Thanks for all the help, Wormtail. You just gave him _another_ reason to blame me."

"Well you _did_ eat his chocolate." Peter grumbled irritably when Sirius shoved him in the shoulder.

"Are you ready to go?" asked a tentative voice from behind James.

James turned so quickly that he nearly fell sideways off the bench. Luckily Sirius managed to grab hold of him before that happened. "Graceful, Prongs," Sirius muttered sarcastically in an undertone.

"Sure, let's go," James said, pretending as though he hadn't almost fallen backwards off the bench. Sending his friends a swift, three-fingered wave, he set off towards the Entrance Hall where Mr. Filch was checking the permission slips of the third years. James and Lily passed the caretaker, who instinctively glared daggers at James, expecting him to come back with a few more cases of Dungbombs than was necessary. But James wasn't doing that today. No, today was about showing Lily Evans he wasn't a git.

Walking out into the chilly October morning, James kept his gaze straight ahead, trying to think of something interesting to say.

"You… you look nice today," he said hesitantly. It was true, Lily looked lovely today, though she had done nothing different to her appearance.

Lily smiled at him, a faint pink colouring her cheeks. "Thank you."

The two strolled down the rest of the grassy slope in silence and within ten minutes they were on the cobblestone streets of Hogsmeade. "So, where to first?" James asked. Normally, he would go straight for Zonko's, but he wasn't sure if Lily particularly enjoyed that store. However, if she suggested it, he wouldn't object.

"Dervish and Banges?" she suggested. James nodded and the two set off at once.

Dervish and Banges was a fun shop, filled with different magical devices. James had actually been meaning to stop here anyway. Peter's Sneakoscope had broken last week and he needed a new one.

Well, technically it hadn't _broken_. Sirius threw it against a wall when it kept going off in the middle of the night and it completely shattered. James thought maybe he could get Peter a new one. It was either get Peter a new Sneakoscope or witness Sirius suffer the wrath of Remus even more than he already was, as it was Remus who bought the Sneakoscope for Peter in their first year. It might be amusing though, watching Sirius and Remus go at it for the millionth time, but it would most likely resolve in hexes gone wrong and he didn't want to right them.

The two browsed through the shop and James did end up buying that Sneakoscope for Peter, while Lily considered buying a speciality lockbox that would bite anyone who dared come near her possessions.

"Why would you need that?" James asked, utterly surprised that Lily would buy something that vicious. He wasn't sure even _he_ would purchase something like that.

"When I go home, Petunia likes to go through my things," Lily answered bluntly, picking up the box and dropping it back on the shelf when it snapped ferociously at her. "This would be a little motivation for her to keep out."

James knew Lily's relationship with her sister had only worsened over the years. It had probably worsened even more since their parents died. Sometimes a death brought families closer together, but James could never see that happening with the Evans sisters. As much as he would have liked for Lily and Petunia to put aside whatever differences they had, he knew it was a far cry from reality. "Well, you can always put a Charm on whatever you don't want her looking through."

Lily tore her gaze away from the box, still contemplating purchasing it, and raised an eyebrow at James. "What kind of Charm?" she asked cautiously. She had learned a long time ago that a wand in the hands of James Potter was a dangerous thing.

"Nothing that would hurt her," James was quick to assure. "Just… I dunno… make her hair grow all over her face or something. You could get rid of the hair easily enough and it wouldn't hurt her."

"How would you know?"

"I… read it somewhere."

Lily narrowed her eyes dubiously. "Or you tried it on someone."

James was shocked to hear a faint trace of amusement in her voice instead of the usual reprimand that would coat her tone. He grinned shiftily. "It's possible. So are you going to get that?"

Lily considered the lockbox for another few minutes before shaking her head. "I might just have to look up that Hair-Growth Charm. C'mon, let's go somewhere else."

From Dervish and Banges they went to Honeydukes, where James was not surprised to find Remus and Peter. Remus was scouring the shelves for a new chocolate supply, one he would keep far away from Sirius. James gave Peter his new Sneakoscope, which was mercifully silent and did not whir incessantly. James and Lily pored through the shelves stocked to the full capacity with sweets and ended up buying a large number of Bertie Botts, which turned out to be Lily's favourite, Sugar Quills and Fizzing Whizzbees.

James was pleased that the conversation had not seemed to lag once since they arrived at the village. James thought the conversation would have been the most difficult part of it all, as everything he said almost always offended the girl, even if that wasn't the intention. But today, he was having no trouble talking to her. What was better, Lily seemed to be enjoying herself. She was smiling a lot, talking animatedly and she hadn't called him _Potter_ once. Granted, Lily hadn't called him Potter in a long time, not since the end of fifth year, but now she was talking to him freely and was being quite friendly. Perhaps he had just made a good friend; he wasn't trying for anything more than that at the moment.

"Isn't that Sirius's brother?" Lily asked suddenly, indeed nodding her head towards Regulus Black, who was walking in the direction of the Shrieking Shack with Severus Snape in tow. James felt the heat rise in his face. Nothing good could come from this.

"Yes, that's him," he replied in a tight voice.

"Where do you think they're going?"

"Somewhere no good, probably." James was tempted to cover himself and Lily with his Invisibility Cloak and follow them, but he didn't have to. Snape and Regulus caught sight of them first. Both of them wearing identical sneers, they waited for a crowd of hyperactive third years to pass before confronting the two Gryffindors.

"This is the company you've given me up for, Lily?" Snape asked and there was the faintest trace of real regret in his voice. He was just masking it so Regulus didn't think he was going soft on a Mudblood.

"I prefer company that doesn't backstab their friends in front of the whole school," Lily replied coolly, folding her arms across her chest and glaring Snape in the eye. James had to admit, he was rather impressed at how she handled herself during tense situations.

"Ah, so you'll never be hanging around with Sirius Black, will you?" Snape challenged heatedly.

"That's none of your bloody business. Who I hang out with and what I do is none of your business anymore."

"So you abandon your best friend and decide to become friends with someone you once despised?"

James felt heat growing around his ears. He didn't know whether it was from anger or embarrassment and, quite frankly, he hoped it was from the former. No matter how much he loathed admitting it, Snape had a point. Lily used to hate him and she used to be Snape's best friend. But he wasn't about to admit that out loud. "Snape, why don't you just leave her alone?"

Snape laughed harshly. "It's because of _you_ she's not friends with me anymore."

James knew why his ears had turned a violent shade of red – it was because of _anger_. "Yeah, I may have taunted you when you weren't doing anything to deserve it, I admit that. I was wrong; I'm not going to deny it. But she was trying to _help_ you. It was your decision to call her a Mudblood. I had no part in that, so _don't_ blame it on me."

"I'm surprised _she_ doesn't blame you."

James's eyes narrowed. He wanted so much to whip out his wand and hex Snape into a green, neon blob. But he knew he couldn't do that. He was doing everything possible to let Lily know he was different and giving in to his desire to hex Snape would be taking about fifteen steps back. But, as much as he hated admitting it, Lily did have every right to blame him. If he and Sirius hadn't gotten at Snape… no, he wasn't going to let Snape do that to him. _Snape_ had made the decision to call her a Mudblood. He was just trying to look good, make himself seem tougher than he really was.

"I don't blame him," Lily said firmly. Grabbing James by the crook of his elbow, she dragged him away from a stunned looking Regulus and a seething Snape. When they were well out of earshot of the two Slytherins, Lily released her grip on James's arm.

"I bloody can't stand him anymore," she snarled.

"Don't let him get to you; he's just trying to start trouble," James assured her. "You… you really don't blame me for what happened in fifth year?"

Lily was silent for what seemed like one of the longest moment in James's life. "I don't like that you and Sirius had to go after him like that when he was doing anything to deserve it, but what you said back there was right. He made the decision to call me what he did. He could have accepted my help or just asked me to go away. I wouldn't have been offended by either, but he didn't." She folded her arms across her chest and added resolutely, "I blame him."

The cheerful mood they had cultivated when they arrived in the village had long since been demolished by Snape's and Regulus's appearances. James made a mental note to mention to Sirius that he had seen the two together. James and Lily made their way back to the castle, talking a little about James's parents, whom Lily seemed to be quite interested about. She was very surprised when she learned they'd had James so late in life. She laughed as James told her about the time the Potter's House Elf, Willie, dragged him into the kitchen all day and wouldn't leave until he had produced an edible cake.

They arrived in the deserted Entrance Hall and heard voices coming from the Great Hall. Dinner had already started for the younger students and the ones who hadn't chosen to take advantage of the Hogsmeade trip or had gotten back early. Lily was going to bring her purchases up to her dormitory, while James was going to head inside for dinner. "Look," James began. "I'm sorry those two had to show up and make you mad."

Lily was quick to shake her head dismissively. "Don't worry about it. I had a lot of fun anyway."

James smiled, both pleased and in relief. "Good, I'm glad you did."

"Well, I should bring this stuff to my dormitory." Lily started towards the stairs before stopping and walking tentatively back to James, who was watching her with a curious gaze. Before James knew what had happened, Lily had given him a swift kiss on the cheek, said, "Thanks for a wonderful day," and then she had disappeared up the marble staircase.

For the rest of the day, James Potter walked around the castle with a goofy, pleased grin on his face.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Sixty Six: The Best Kind of Friends**_

"So, we're all staying here for Christmas, right?" James asked as Professor McGonagall took down the names of some Gryffindor second years at the opposite end of the table.

"I am," Sirius said at once, prodding a piece of burnt bacon with a distasteful look. "I'm not going to spend Christmas by myself in my flat. That just sounds a little pathetic."

James couldn't agree more. "Pete? What about you?"

"Staying here."

"Remus?"

Remus shifted in his seat, spooning around his porridge before pushing it away, not very hungry anymore. "I'm going to go home."


	66. The Best Kind of Friends

Chapter Sixty Six  
The Best Kind of Friends

December brought with it a ceaseless freezing gust of wind and a thick blanket of snow that coated the grounds literally overnight. The students went to be one cold night and the next morning there was no green left at all on the grounds. This cold weather also brought several dozen cases of the common cold and the flu amongst all years in the castle. Madam Pomfrey had never been so overworked in her life, even with a Lycanthropic student to take care of, and the students were wagering when she would finally snap and announce her resignation. The students certainly thought she would quit when every Gryffindor seventh year appeared in the infirmary one morning, complaining of headaches, stomachaches, completely stuffed up noses and throat-shattering sneezes.

It seemed a great relief when Professor McGonagall made her rounds around the Great Hall one morning in the middle of the month, taking down the names of the students who would be staying at the castle for the holidays. This meant that Madam Pomfrey was free to relinquish her charges to their parents for a week, at least. She only had to take care of the less than ten students that usually remained behind. Besides, she had to take care of herself now. She had contracted the common cold the day the seventh years all came down with the same illness at once. She believed the students did everything in packs – including getting ill. She really was getting too old for her job.

"So, we're all staying here for Christmas, right?" James asked as Professor McGonagall took down the names of some Gryffindor second years at the opposite end of the table.

"I am," Sirius said at once, prodding a piece of burnt bacon with a distasteful look. "I'm not going to spend Christmas by myself in my flat. That just sounds a little pathetic."

James couldn't agree more. "Pete? What about you?"

"Staying here."

"Remus?"

Remus shifted in his seat, spooning around his porridge before pushing it away, not very hungry anymore. "I'm going to go home."

"What?" his friends asked disbelievingly. "Why are you going home?" Sirius asked confusedly. They had made a pact ages ago that they would all spend their last Christmas in Hogwarts at Hogwarts.

"I'm just going, forget about it."

"Come on, there's got to be a reason."

"Yeah, well, just drop it, Sirius."

"Christmas is a full moon, isn't it?" James deduced. He hadn't checked the moon charts for December yet, but what other explanation could there be? There had never been a full moon on Christmas during their years at school; it was bound to happen eventually.

Remus nodded jerkily, saying nothing else about it.

"So why would you go home? Spend the night here! We'll make it the best full moon you've ever had."

Remus stubbornly shook his head. "I appreciate the offer, but no… I'm just going to go home."

"Why?" Sirius persisted.

"You guys shouldn't have to spend your Christmas night with a werewolf, alright? That's why. So just sign the bloody sheet McGonagall has and let me go home."

Sirius rolled his eyes. Trust Remus to think they would _mind_ having to run around the Shrieking Shack with him on a full moon. "Come on, Moony, stop being stupid. Do you think we mind spending Christmas night with a werewolf?"

"I'm not going to be much fun on Christmas; I'll be sick and you guys know what I'm like when I'm sick. It's a lot better for me to not ruin it for the rest of you."

"What?" James said in a voice filled with mock surprise. "You'll just be your usual charming self."

"Just drop it, James," Remus insisted firmly. Standing up, he plucked his bag up off the bench. Slinging it over his shoulder, he said, "We've got classes, guys."

Muttering mutinously, James, Sirius and Peter collected their belongings and trooped out into the Entrance Hall behind Remus. As they were making their way out, Regulus was doing the same. Three pairs of eyes darted to Sirius, who nodded for them to go on ahead. James, Remus and Peter were reluctant, knowing this confrontation could lead to nothing good, but with another firm nod from Sirius, they hurried on to Charms. Sirius took a deep breath, bracing himself for whatever was going to happen. This was the first time he had confronted Regulus since Diagon Alley.

"Regulus," Sirius began tonelessly. He didn't want to leave anything in his voice to suggest that he was about to try and reason with his younger brother.

"What?" Regulus asked heatedly.

Sirius was taken aback. Regulus was mad with him already and he hadn't even done anything to deserve it yet. "I just wanted to talk."

"I have class." Regulus attempted to push his way past Sirius, but Sirius wouldn't have it. He pushed back, forcing Regulus to hear him out. Regulus was seething. The last thing he wanted to do was talk with his older brother. "What do you want, Sirius?"

"I told you, I want to talk."

Regulus narrowed his eyes dubiously. "I know what you want to talk about, so save it for someone who actually cares. You never gave a damn about what I do, so stop pretending you do now." He pushed his brother out of the way and started for the stairs, only to have Sirius block him again by snatching the collar of his robe. "_What?_"

"You really don't think I care about what you do?" Sirius was truly hurt by that statement. He did care about what his brother did with his life, he always had. Why else would he be going painfully out of his way to speak to Regulus? He wanted to stop him before he got in over his head and could never come back out. He didn't want his brother getting hurt. No matter how badly they got on, Sirius would never wish harm upon Regulus.

Regulus, however, didn't believe this. "You forfeited any right to care about anyone in our family the moment you left home."

Sirius let out a frustrated snarl. When would Regulus ever stop using that as an excuse? "That was two bloody years ago, Regulus! Get over it! I didn't leave because of you; I left because of our mental parents."

"Don't talk about them that way."

"Oh, right, I forgot, you're Mummy and Daddy's favourite boy. You're not 'big bad Sirius'. You're not some delinquent who has a mind of his own. Is that why you're running around in that mask of yours? Is it to make them prouder of you than they already are or to make me look worse to them than I already do? Why are you running around with that filth?"

Regulus's eyes widened at an alarming rate and he hurried to silence Sirius. "Don't talk about what you don't know."

"And what is it I don't know, Regulus? Is it that I don't know what a monster you'll turn into if you continue running around with those people? Merlin, Regulus, I just want what's best for you!"

"Since when?"

"Since I was old enough to care! Why will you _never_ believe that?"

"Because of the people _you_ run around with, the way you spoke to Dad the day you left, the horrible things you said to Mum, because you never _once_ apologised for abandoning your family."

Sirius let out a breath slowly. It always came down to this – Regulus always used this as an excuse. When was he going to wake up and realise Sirius would never apologise for doing those things? Sirius wasn't happy living there and if he ever wanted to be happy, he had to leave. Living with the Potters was the best thing he could have done for himself. If Regulus really cared, he would have seen that. Resignedly, he said, "I guess you'll never believe me then. But, just listen to me for a moment, all I'm asking you for is _one_ moment. Your life will be destroyed if you keep going the way you are. I'm only telling you this because I don't want you getting hurt. Believe what you want, but that's the truth."

* * *

Christmas Day was a dark, dreary sort of day. The beautiful white snow that had coated the outside had now been turned into grey slush that got everywhere the moment someone stepped outside. The rain had not stopped coming down in buckets once since dawn broke and there was thunder rumbling in the distance and faint flashes of lightening, signaling the coming of the storm that had been just out of reach all day. Any hopes that anyone might have had for a white Christmas were dashed before the even smallest of children woke up, wondering if Father Christmas had paid a visit late the night before.

The inside of the Lupin house was almost silent except for the quiet talking of Harry Lupin, who was sitting by the fireplace, conversing with Charles Potter, whose head was sitting in the crackling, green flames. Charles was planning on stopping by the next morning to help heal any wounds Remus would receive from the full moon. Harry was trying to tell him it wasn't necessary, the full moons weren't that bad for his son anymore, but Charles wouldn't hear any of it. Think of it as a Christmas present, was what he said.

"How's he feeling?" Charles asked concernedly. Ever since he had seen Harry Lupin in St. Mungo's after his son's bad reaction to one of the alleged cures, when he learned what his son's friend's ailment was, Charles always felt a great amount of concern for the Lupins' boy when the full moon drew near.

"He was sleeping last time I checked," Harry replied, glancing up at the railings upstairs that blocked most of Remus's room from view. He had gone upstairs that morning to see if Remus had woken up yet, but he had been sound asleep.

Just as Charles opened his mouth to say something else, there were footsteps coming from behind Harry. He turned to see Remus coming downstairs, his face pale and yawning widely. Harry offered his son a small smile. "How're you feeling, Remus?"

"Fine," Remus replied sleepily, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Then, glancing at the head in the fire, he added, "Happy Christmas, Mr. Potter."

Charles smiled. "You too, Remus."

"Your mother's in the kitchen, she has your present waiting for you." Remus nodded distractedly and disappeared into the kitchen, where Harry heard his wife wishing their son a Happy Christmas. Shaking his head, he turned back to Charles. "He hasn't gotten out of bed all day; he must be feeling a little better."

"You know everyone at the hospital is trying to do something to make this easier for… well, for people like Remus."

"How many of them are _really_ trying?" Harry asked harshly. His face then reddened and he sighed, shaking his head again. "I don't mean to yell at you, Charles. You care about my son like he was your own. I know _you're_ doing everything you can. But the others… how do I know they're not just saying they're looking for a cure?"

"I don't blame you for feeling that way. I admit that some of my colleagues aren't as invested in finding a cure as others are." Charles smiled suddenly. It was a proud smile. "But I can tell you that soon we'll have someone who truly cares working with us. Once the school year is over."

Harry knew at once who Charles was speaking of. His face broke into a small grin. "James decided to become a Healer?"

Charles nodded proudly. His face was absolutely beaming. James had wanted to be an Auror for so long and then announced over the summer that he was planning on becoming a Healer instead. Charles couldn't be prouder of his son if he tried. James was always trying to help others; a Healer was the perfect profession for him. "He told me right before he started school, when he got his Head Boy badge." Charles let out a chuckle. "If you'd seen his face when he saw that badge along with his letter, he must have thought someone was playing a horrible trick on him."

"You should have seen the look of horror on Remus's face when he found out he was a Prefect. I don't think I've ever heard him yell so loudly. Anna and I thought someone was hurting him when we heard him shout."

"James was pretty terrified as well, though he wouldn't admit it. He thought anyone but him should have gotten it. He was going to post the badge here, thinking it must have been sent to him by mistake."

"I'm sure James is a fine Head Boy."

"He is now that he's gotten it through his head that it wasn't a mistake." Charles's eyes turned to his right, as if he was listening to someone. His wife must have been asking him to get his head out of the fireplace. "I'll see you tomorrow, Harry."

"See you then." Harry stood up as Charles's head disappeared and the emerald green flames returned to their fiery red. He wandered into the kitchen, where he was met with the sight of his wife cooking dinner and his son turning over the new watch his parents had given him in his hands with a rather perplexed look on his face. "You're wondering why we gave you another watch?" he surmised.

"Yes," Remus replied, holding up his left wrist, where the watch he'd been given for his seventeenth birthday rested. "I already have one."

"Yes, but you don't know how to tell time on that one," Mrs. Lupin said as she mixed cake batter around the bowl she was holding.

"I would have figured it out eventually."

"Yes, but I can't have my son going around not knowing what time it is," Mrs. Lupin went on, setting the bowl down on the counter. She approached her son, took the watch out of his slackened grip, and slid it onto his left wrist, snapping the clasps closed before he could do anything about it and also removing the other timepiece he was wearing and putting it in his hands. "It was my father's. The only thing he left to me, I want my son to have it." She said this all with an air of finality and Remus knew better than to protest.

Remus never knew his grandparents on his mother's side. They weren't thrilled with their daughter's marriage to Harry and his mother knew they would never approve if they found out her husband and son were wizards and her son was a werewolf. He knew why his mother wanted him to have the watch; it wasn't just because he couldn't tell time with the other one. He managed a smile for his mother and thanked her for the present.

* * *

The full moon was vicious that night. The werewolf didn't know if it was this way because it was Christmas night and this would usually be a time when he would be having fun with his friends, free from the wrath of the lunar cycle. He didn't know if this just happened to be a particularly violent full moon that just happened to fall on Christmas night. Whatever the reason was, all the werewolf knew was that this was the worst full moon he had felt in a very, very long time.

And he was all alone.

He knew he should have taken his friends up on their offer to spend the full moon with him

in Hogsmeade or even just in the Shrieking Shack, but he was stupid and didn't. He didn't want them to have to waste their night with a werewolf when they could be perfectly happy, testing out their new presents and enjoying the delicious feast in the castle. They didn't need to spend their Christmas night with him, the miserable and violent werewolf. No, it was best he just went home and stayed with his parents for the week. It was best he endure the full moon on his own. He knew his mother and father were sitting awake in the sitting room, waiting anxiously for the moon to set.

The small shed the werewolf had once inhabited during the full moon had long ago been replaced. The werewolf was still small for his age, but big enough that he needed a larger shed to transform in, otherwise the shed would break. The new shed had been put in place when the werewolf had turned fifteen and had the smallest growth spurt known to man. The werewolf had more space to roam around, but he still hated being confined to this tiny space. The werewolf wanted to be running around the Shrieking Shack, the Forbidden Forest (with the exception of the angry centaurs) or prowling the streets of Hogsmeade. But no, because of the werewolf's own stupidity, he had decided to come home and bypass all that so his friends wouldn't have to run around with him all night.

He was really stupid sometimes.

The only reason that the Animagi were there was for that purpose – to help him. The only reason James, Sirius and Peter had trained for three years to become Animagi was so that they could keep their friend company when the full moon rose, so he wouldn't bite and scratch himself like he always did. Without his Animagi friends here now, the werewolf was biting and scratching worse than ever. His howls shattered the otherwise peaceful Christmas night. The storm that had been threatening earlier had long passed over.

This wasn't right, this just wasn't right. It was Christmas! He shouldn't have had to turn into a hairy monster on Christmas. He'd rather it was his birthday ten times over than Christmas. The closest he had ever come to transforming on Christmas had been when he was twelve, the year Sirius had come over for the holiday. That had been one of his favourite holidays, right up there with last year when all of his friends and their families had come over. True, he, James, Sirius and Peter were stuck with Muggle cleaning duty, but it had been fun. He had had his friends with him; there was nothing more he could ask for.

But this year… this year he was on his own. His parents were mere feet away, yes, but they couldn't help him. They had tried for so many years to help him, yet Remus knew they should just give up. They were wasting their money trying to find a cure for him. He knew there would never be a cure. Anything the Healers came up with would do nothing more than make his condition worse. He didn't want his parents searching for a cure anymore, wasting their money on him. It only resulted in a letdown. He knew better than to get his hopes up; he knew the cures wouldn't work, yet he got his hopes up anyway and was always disappointed.

He was tired of being disappointed.

He was tired of hurting his parents. He knew they would never blame him for what happened; his father always blamed himself. His father believed that if he had never written that article about Fenrir Greyback, Remus never would have become a werewolf. That may have been true to some extent, but it wasn't his father who had lured him out of the house fourteen years ago. Remus had led himself out of the house. He knew he was only three years old at the time, but even three year old boys knew that you shouldn't go outside in the middle of the night. But he went outside anyway and here he was almost fifteen years later.

He knew he should count himself lucky. He may be a werewolf, but he had parents who loved him and friends who would do anything for him. There weren't many werewolves who could say they had that. He knew he was lucky for what he had. Most werewolves would never be admitted into Hogwarts and yet he was about to finish his seventh year. He was lucky and he knew it. But that didn't stop him from realising that there would be a time in his life when it all came crashing down around him. He was leaving school; he needed to get a job. No one would ever hire him. His parents wouldn't be around forever.

This wouldn't last forever.

The peaceful night was shattered once again, this time by a sad, lonely howl from a werewolf who was realising that the old cliché would hold true for him – all good things had to come to an end.

* * *

"Merlin, he looks awful."

"Like someone rode their broom over his face."

"How would that make him look awful, Wormtail?"

"I dunno… the handle could have dragged over his face."

"Yeah, but that still wouldn't be that much damage, maybe just a long red line."

"Shut up, Padfoot."

"_Well, _someone's touchy."

"Oi, would you two shut up? He's probably got a bad enough headache without the two of you making it worse by arguing over what kind of damage a bloody broomstick handle would do."

Sirius and Peter couldn't stop their mouths from dropping open when James snapped at them. Usually James would jump right in, joke about it with them. James had certainly been changing since the beginning of the year. Sometimes it was for the better, other times, like right now, it made him a bit irritable. The three boys were currently sitting in Remus's loft bedroom, waiting, rather impatiently, for him to wake up. Charles Potter was fast at work and had Remus sedated on Sleeping Potions, so he could work and Remus wouldn't be aware of any pain he might otherwise experience.

The three boys were sitting by the stairs, giving Mr. Potter plenty of room to work. The night looked like it had been a terrible one and James's father certainly had his work cut out for him. The boys remembered Remus saying his grandfather used to come and heal him when the full moon had descended, but his grandfather had died years ago, when Remus was only thirteen. Charles took over that position now, whenever Remus was home from school. He felt it was the one thing he could do to make him feel better.

So far, he had bound and bandaged Remus's right arm, which had been at a funny angle and bleeding horribly. There were multiple bruises and scratches across his face, which inspired the conversation Sirius and Peter had been having before James told them to be quiet. There was some severe bruising around his ribs, forcing Mr. Potter to immobilize Remus so he wouldn't move before they could be healed. Progress was being made, but it would be some time before Remus woke up. The boys were occupying themselves by sorting through Remus's record collection.

"These Muggle people give themselves weird names," James commented, picking up a record with the name Pink Floyd on it and looking at it with mild confusion.

"That's not the weirdest one," Sirius told him seriously, taking the record from James and looking it over, admiring the design on the jacket. "The old ones he gave me for my birthday had even stranger names."

They were distracted by a sigh from James's father. Looking around, they saw he had straightened up and was pocketing his wand. Offering the boys a tired smile, he informed them, "Well, that's all I can do for him now."

"He's alright, isn't he?" James asked tentatively.

"He'll be fine." Charles offered the boys another small smile before walking around them to get down the stairs. Once Charles had disappeared downstairs, the three boys got up and crowded around their friends bed. As if sensing someone's presence, Remus's eyes slowly began opening. They almost laughed at the look of utter shock on his face when he saw his three friends. His eyes were wide and, if he could have, he probably would have jumped in an attempt to shield himself. He had learned a long time ago that waking up with his friends surrounding him usually meant they had done something.

"What are you doing here?" he asked hoarsely.

"We were just passing through," Sirius began, casually inspect his nails.

"And we thought it would be fun to drop in on our favourite werewolf friend," James continued in the same fashion.

"So here we are. You're looking well rested, I must say."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Honestly, what are you lot doing here? You signed McGonagall's list of students staying at the castle."

James nodded. "We did, but then decided there was no way we were letting you wake up without having your friends around."

"And we couldn't miss out on the opportunity to bother you relentlessly," Sirius added dismissively. Then, in his most somber voice, he went on, "and we want our Christmas presents, _now_."

"I left your presents at school. I thought that's where you'd be."

Sirius huffed and looked indignantly at James and Peter. "So, that's how it's going to be. I guess we'll just keep _his_ presents for ourselves then."

James nodded wholeheartedly. "Yeah, we should. Remus, just ignore that small pile over there by the stairs, it'll be gone in five minutes."

Remus rolled his eyes again. He knew his friends would never dream of doing that. "So you three really just came here for why you said you did?"

"Hey, we said we'd spend the last Christmas holiday at school together. Certain lunar forces prevented that. But it doesn't mean we can't do that now."

The four boys often told themselves that they would always be there for one another, that they would do everything together. Now that school was coming to an end, with just a half a year left, they didn't know if that was possible. They had had their realisation mere hours after Professor McGonagall went around taking students' names down. There would be a time in their lives when they wouldn't be able to be there for each other. They couldn't, they _wouldn't_, let that time be now.

They had to use this time to be the best kind of friends possible.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Sixty Seven: Disappearing Relations**__  
_  
"If I screamed really loudly, would you and Lily murder me, Prongs?" Sirius asked one evening in the common room. The common room was filled with unbearably and obnoxiously loud first, second and third years, all of whom were oblivious to the studying seventh years. The younger students were playing unusually loud rounds of Exploding Snap, running about and just be altogether rude. The seventh years were ready to snap.

James, who was running a hand over his tired face as he tried concentrating on the essay he was writing, shook his head. "No, I'd scream with you. I'm about to go over there and murder them."

"I don't think killing students falls under the Head Boy category," Remus said, jokingly reproachful.

"Stuff it, Moony," James and Sirius snapped.


	67. Disappearing Relations

Chapter Sixty Seven  
Disappearing Relations

In the weeks following Christmas, the students of Hogwarts began noticing several changes occurring throughout the world they lived in. Lately, the _Daily Prophet_ only seemed to print stories about the tragedies that were taking place everywhere. There was a little boy mauled by a werewolf while on a family vacation. This story, which was written by an infuriated Harry Lupin, only encouraged some folks at the Ministry to draft more anti-werewolf legislation. There were dozens of disappearances, some happening right outside the Ministry's visitor's entrance. The Wizarding World was in a constant state of fear. No one could go outside without wondering when it would be their turn to be killed or attacked or kidnapped.

Along with the upsetting changes occurring in the outside world, there were also some

welcome changes happening within the castle walls. For years it had been known throughout the school that Lily Evans hated James Potter with a passion. It came as quite a surprise when, in their sixth year, she began tolerating his existence. Now that they were seventh years, most were amazed that she willingly spoke to him now, even went to Hogsmeade on his invitation. It was unheard of that Lily Evans would ever do something like that. She spent half her career at Hogwarts pretending he didn't exist.

In the area of the seventh years' homework load, it was reaching such a height that they were all thoroughly terrified of it collapsing on top of them – figuratively and literally. The seventh years had stacks of books and papers piled up in their dormitories, afraid that if they left out one bit of work, they would not be permitted to graduate. Even tiny, usually understanding Professor Flitwick had become relentless with the amount of wand work he was expecting out of his students. None of the professors seemed to realise their students were all on the edge of nervous breakdowns.

"If I screamed really loudly, would you and Lily murder me, Prongs?" Sirius asked one evening in the common room. The common room was filled with unbearably and obnoxiously loud first, second and third years, all of whom were oblivious to the studying seventh years. The younger students were playing unusually loud rounds of Exploding Snap, running about and just be altogether rude. The seventh years were ready to snap.

James, who was running a hand over his tired face as he tried concentrating on the essay he was writing, shook his head. "No, I'd scream with you. I'm about to go over there and murder _them_."

"I don't think killing students falls under the Head Boy category," Remus said, jokingly reproachful.

"Stuff it, Moony," James and Sirius snapped.

Remus's eyes darted between his two friends before his face split into a smirk. "Well… I am offended."

James and Sirius rolled their eyes at each other. "He got that from us," James muttered, planting his face in his hand.

"He's been hanging out with us for too long."

"Peter, you're not going to start saying you're offended, are you?"

Peter, who was writing furiously across his parchment, said irritably, "No."

Sirius's eyes went wide. Peter was strangely upset this evening. Nothing had happened to him for this to happen. At least they didn't think anything had. "Someone's got a broomstick stuck up his bum."

"I do not, Padfoot."

"What are you four arguing about this time?" The four boys glanced up to see a rather harassed-looking Lily Evans, clutching her book in a vice grip. Clearly the loud, annoying younger students were getting to her as well. It appeared as if her strong grip on her book was the only thing keeping her from swinging it at someone's head.

"Who stuck a broomstick up Peter's bum," Sirius replied before turning to glare daggers at a first year girl who went into a fit of high-pitched giggles. The girl felt Sirius's glare on her, gave him a nervous glance and instantly ceased laughing.

"Shut up, Sirius!" Peter unexpectedly snapped, causing James and Remus to stare at him in amazement. Peter rarely lost his temper.

Sirius looked shocked as well. "Merlin, Pete, I was just _joking_."

"Well, your jokes aren't funny, so just shut up." Peter slammed his books closed, gathered up his things and moved to an empty table across the room.

"Since when does he hate my jokes?" Sirius asked, utterly nonplussed. "I really wasn't trying to be mean to him. Honestly, I wasn't. He's known me for seven years now; he should understand my sense of humour."

"I don't think he was mad at you, Sirius," Remus spoke up suddenly, his voice oddly tense.

"What d'you mean?" Sirius and James whipped around and saw Remus was gripping the copy of the _Evening Prophet_ that Peter had been reading earlier. They hadn't noticed when he was reading it what articles he was reading; they had been busy trying to finish their homework before the professors flunked them all. But, if they were remembering correctly, Peter had been in a good mood before he opened the paper. After that, he had been fairly irritable.

Lily knelt down beside Remus and read the paper over his shoulder. She let out a strangled, "oh no," and covered her mouth with her hand. Sirius and James were instantly kneeling behind Remus and Lily, reading whatever it was that had elicited such responses from their fellow Gryffindors. "Oh, Merlin," James murmured.

"Poor Peter," Sirius muttered, stepping back and resuming his seat, utterly stunned.

"Do you think they'll find him?" Remus asked, setting the paper down, turning it over so he didn't have to look at the front page.

"I don't know," James said quietly, shaking his head before placing his forehead in his hands. "Peter must think they won't. Why else would he be so upset?"

"Why Peter's dad?" Lily asked, utterly horrified. She didn't know Mr. Pettigrew, but she could never picture him being someone another would want to harm.

Remus shrugged. "I… Remember the summer before our fifth year?" he said unexpectedly, looking at James and Sirius.

They both nodded, their brows furrowed. "What about it?" James asked.

"Our dads – well, yours, mine and Peter's – they were talking about people named Mad Eye and Fabian and Gideon. They were going to the Lovegoods' because they thought something was going on. They obviously thought something bad was going to happen, they thought they were going to be fighting someone. Were they fighting Voldemort?"

"How do you see that?" Sirius asked quickly, oddly thrown by this statement.

"Maybe not necessarily him, but they thought they were going to fight someone, didn't they? And our mums wouldn't tell us anything about it; they didn't want us to know what was going on."

"But why would you think it had anything to do with Voldemort?" Sirius pressed further, a small hint of anger appearing in his voice.

"Because Mr. Pettigrew's gone missing and no one can figure out why it would be _him_ of all people. He's never done anything to hurt anyone, so why would someone want to hurt him?"

"We don't know he's been hurt," Sirius replied tersely. Why was Remus jumping to conclusions?

Remus's eyes darted from Sirius to James to Lily and back to Sirius. His gaze hardened. Why was Sirius being so defensive? "What's with you?" he asked.

"Nothing, Remus. You just jump to the conclusion that it has to be Voldemort and his Death Eaters every time something bad happens."

"Because every time something bad _does_ happen it's Voldemort and his Death Eaters causing it. Shall I run through the list for you?"

"Just shut the hell up, Moony!"

"Sirius," James snapped warningly. Sirius was crossing the line badly.

Now it was time for Sirius to turn on James. "Going to his defence again, are you, Prongs?"

"You're being a prat to him, Sirius. Now what's your problem?"

Sirius bit down hard on his lip. He really wasn't mad at Remus, yet he had to take his anger out on someone. It was just that every time he heard something about Death Eater activities, he couldn't help but think of Regulus. His little brother was throwing his life away, running around with those maniacs and Sirius couldn't stand it. He couldn't do anything to change his brother's life path, no matter how much he wished he could. Regulus would never listen to him. He had yet to tell his friends what had happened in Diagon Alley, to whom he had spoken. He had to do it now, but he didn't want to say it in front of Lily.

"Can we…?" he began, glancing pointedly at Lily, who instantly understood his meaning.

"I've got to go ask Alice about something anyway," she said, collecting her things and disappearing up the stairs into the dormitories.

Once Lily was gone, James and Remus rounded on Sirius. "Okay, Padfoot, what's the matter?" James asked concernedly.

It took Sirius a long moment before he was able to say anything. When he finally found his voice, it was low and tense. "Do you remember what happened in Diagon Alley over the summer?"

"Of course, how can we forget?"

"I… I kind of… ran into someone I know."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "You mean… you mean you _knew_ one of the Death Eaters?" His face paled when Sirius reluctantly nodded. "Who?"

Sirius laughed hollowly. "Take a guess."

"Regulus," James surmised at once. "But… we always suspected he was up to no good. I just… I guess I never thought he'd actually go through with it."

"Neither did I."

Remus folded his arms across his chest and frowned at his friend. "Have you tried talking to him about it?"

"I did right before Christmas, he wouldn't hear it. He said I lost any right to convince him of anything the moment I ran away from home."

James let out an angry sound. "He needs to get over that and move on with his life. It wasn't like the two of you were best friends, anyway. I - I didn't mean it like that."

"I know. You're right, we weren't friends or anything, but he's still my brother. Whether or not we get along, I don't want him to do anything stupid and he goes and does this."

"You know you can't control his actions," James reminded him. He hated seeing his best friend beating himself up over choices that Regulus willingly made. As much as he hated to admit it, Regulus was sixteen and well within his rights to make his own decisions, as horrible as they were. Try as he might, there was nothing Sirius could do to change anything.

"In some cases, I wish I could." Sirius took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. Turning to Remus, he said sincerely, "I'm sorry I took it out on you. I just hate the idea that my brother could be one of the people behind what happened to Peter's dad."

Remus shrugged off Sirius's apology, he needn't have done so. Remus wasn't mad at him. He stood up and gestured for his friends to do the same. He looked towards the table Peter had moved to earlier and discovered he was gone. He must have gone upstairs. "We've got to go talk to Peter." James and Sirius didn't hesitate to get up as well and follow Remus up to the dormitories.

What could they say to make Peter feel better, though? It was one thing to give Lily their condolences after her parents died; at least she knew their fate. But Mr. Pettigrew was missing and no one knew what was happening to him. The article had said that he had supposedly been snatched somewhere between Diagon Alley and their home in London. Mr. Pettigrew had been looking for a new job in the alley. Clearly that must have been what he was doing there. Poor Peter. The boys didn't even want to think of what would happen if they never found him. Peter wouldn't be able to handle it, they knew that much.

When they entered the dormitory, it was to see Peter leaning on the windowsill, glaring out onto the darkened grounds. James, Sirius and Remus hated to see him like that, completely lost and probably so confused about why it had to be _his_ father. They stood in the doorway for a long time, glancing uncertainly at each other several times before Sirius lightly pushed Remus towards Peter.

Remus, narrowing his eyes over his shoulder at Sirius, cautiously approached his friend. "Peter?" he said quietly.

Peter looked over his shoulder for a quick second before returning his attention to the window, acting as if he hadn't heard Remus.

"Peter, do you… do you want to talk about it at all?"

"Not really, no." Peter propped his elbows up on the sill and rested his chin in his hands.

"Why didn't you tell us, Pete?" Sirius asked, stepping further into the room. "I wouldn't have said anything mean to you if I knew what happened."

"So you wouldn't be mean to me if you knew I was upset?" Peter snapped, tearing his gaze away from the window to narrow his eyes dangerously at Sirius.

"No! Merlin, _no_, Peter. I was just joking, but I didn't know you'd take it so badly. You should've just told us."

Peter's eyes swiveled back to the window again. "Yeah, well, I didn't want to."

Now it was James's turn to step forward and give it a try. He didn't understand why Peter had become so defensive all of the sudden. "We're your friends, Peter. Don't we tell each other what's bothering us?"

"Do we?" Peter questioned harshly, rounding on the three, who each took a small step back as Peter took a fast step forward.

"Peter?" Remus asked anxiously. They rarely saw Peter get so angry and he didn't like it.

"_You_ three tell each other everything, not _me_. You keep _me_ out of everything."

"What?" the three said, each echoing the other's shock. Was this what was bothering Peter? They didn't neglect to tell him things to make him _mad_.

"Remember last year, Remus?" Peter snarled, rounding on his friend, using the tiny difference in height to his advantage. Remus certainly looked like he felt much smaller than he really was. "Finely kept threatening you, didn't he? He wanted you to do something you weren't comfortable with and that was what he wanted me to convince you of. I asked you what was going on, I asked you a few times actually. I thought you of all people would be honest with me, but I was wrong. You wouldn't tell me what it was."

"I didn't want you to worry!" Remus didn't realise they had offended Peter so much when they neglected to tell him exactly what Professor Finely was doing. It had happened months ago. They didn't know it still bothered him.

"So you keep me in the dark and that only makes me worry more."

"I'm sorry, Pete. I didn't think you'd be that upset over it."

Peter ignored Remus's apology and instead moved on to Sirius. "And what about you, _Padfoot_? In Diagon Alley, I saw you talking to one of the Death Eaters like you knew him and when I asked you about it, you told me to mind my own business."

Sirius defended himself reasonably. "I don't think I said it like _that_."

"It doesn't matter. I'm sure you told _them_." Peter jerked an angry thumb at Remus and James, both of whom had their mouths hanging slightly open.

"I didn't tell them until about five minutes ago!"

"But you _still_ told them before you told me."

"Peter, I didn't tell anyone because I feel guilty!"

"What do _you_ have to feel guilty about?" Peter couldn't understand why _Sirius_, of all people, would feel guilty about his father being abducted by a bunch of Death Eaters. It wasn't as though he was one of them. He wasn't running around hurting other people just for the hell of it. Well, not _anymore_.

"Because my brother might have been one of the maniacs who dragged your dad away, that's what I feel guilty about. _That's_ who I was talking to in Diagon Alley, my brother. My brother's a Death Eater, Wormtail. How do you think I feel? I feel awful because he might've hurt your dad! I'd never want anyone to do that to him because your dad's a good person and he doesn't deserve this! So quit jumping down our throats! You're upset, I understand that and I'm sure they do too." James and Remus didn't hesitate to nod. "But _don't_ take it out on us."

Peter stood in his place silently, his gaze dropping to the floor. He couldn't help yelling at the three of them. Every bitter thought he'd ever had, every bitter feeling, was just bursting to the surface and he wasn't going to try to keep them inside anymore. He wasn't going to take back what he said. He had wanted them all to know that for a long time. He was tired of being pushed into the shadows like he didn't matter. He didn't know if they did it on purpose, but even if they didn't, he didn't like it.

"Why didn't you tell us?" James asked after a long time. His voice was pleading. He just wanted to know why Peter would keep the news about his dad a secret. "You know we would just want to help you."

"My mum didn't even tell me," Peter choked out finally. "I had to read about it in the bloody _newspaper!_"

"Your mum is probably too… too shocked to write just yet," Remus offered. He knew it had been difficult for his father to write to him when his grandparents had died. It was the only time Remus had ever seen his father's handwriting so illegible and his sentences so incoherent. Not everyone was able to just up and write heartbreaking news. "I'm sure you'll get a letter from her soon."

There was a muscle jumping rapidly in Peter's jaw. He folded his arms across his chest and looked away from his friends. He was getting himself into a right state and he didn't want them seeing it. After the way he had just lost it, he didn't want them to see him lose it again. They already thought he was weak; he didn't need to prove it any more. "Why did it have to be _my_ dad?" he finally said, his voice nothing more than a sad squeak.

James sighed and shrugged. "I dunno, Peter. It's not fair that it was him."

"Was it really Voldemort? Does he really want to… does he really want to hurt my dad?"

Remus swallowed with difficulty. "I… it may… it may have something to do with that." At the confused and startled look on Peter's face, he began to explain what he had told James and Sirius earlier. Peter easily remembered the night their fathers had hurried to the Lovegood house, worried about the commotion that had really been nothing at all, just Xeno messing around with a potion of his father's. There could be no other explanation other than their fathers were doing something to fight. Even old Mr. Potter was doing something. That had to have been why the Death Eaters took Mr. Pettigrew.

"So they take _my_ dad? Just mine? Why not yours, Remus?" Peter snapped harshly before dropping his mouth open in horror, staring at the hurt look on his friend's face.

"Nice to see you have my dad's well-being at heart, thanks, Peter," Remus commented coldly. He knew Peter was upset, but no one would ever say something like that about his father. He wouldn't allow it.

"I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry." Peter's face was bright red as he turned to James for support, but James was wearing an expression similar to Remus's.

"You could've said the same thing about my dad, Peter." He dropped his hands to his sides and shook his head slowly. "We know you're upset, but don't say things like that."

"I know I shouldn't have. I'm sorry." He looked pleadingly between James and Remus, both of whom nodded, knowing Peter was letting his anger get the best of him. "I just… I can't believe this is happening. _Why_ did this happen?"

"It's been happening since we were eleven, Peter," Sirius said, his disgust at the state of the world evident in his tone. "Everything has just been going on behind the scenes; it never really affected any of us directly. Now that it has… what are we going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"We're not letting these people get away with what they've done, are we?" Sirius looked between his friends as if he was waiting for one of them to shout 'hear, hear!' When none of them did, he said, "Come on, you're saying you wouldn't dream of fighting these people?"

"How would we do that?" Remus asked. He would fight anyone who dared hurt any of his friends or their families, but he didn't know how. Unless… Their parents knew how to fight. Their parents were the ones fighting it, or at least they were trying to. "D'you mean we'd have to ask our dads?"

Sirius nodded, glad Remus had gotten it. "Your dad and James's know what to do. They're doing something. They are other people involved!"

"Sirius, be realistic," James cut in. "We're students! What can we do?"

"James, are you being serious? We're students and look what we _have_ done! We managed to become Animagi at age fifteen! We're at the top of our class. You're Head Boy and Remus is a Prefect. We've done more than most. What makes you think we wouldn't be able to fight?"

"Because this is different than school. This is real life; this is taking on someone who has more power than we could ever hope to have."

"But if there are others fighting-"

"We don't know that for sure."

"Your dads are doing something! There are other people involved."

"Sirius," Remus began slowly. "We're still just students; even if we knew exactly what it was our dads were doing… we're just kids compared to them."

"So you mean you don't want to fight?"

"Of course I do! You know I do. It's just… we're _students_, Sirius."

Sirius shook his head at Remus and instead rounded on Peter. If anyone would want to fight those maniacs right now, it would be Peter. "You, Peter? You have more of a reason than any of us. What do you say?"

Peter did not answer right away. In truth, he didn't want to fight Voldemort and his Death Eaters. They had already taken his father, probably hurt him already. Peter didn't want to end up like that. Besides, he wasn't strong enough to fight them, not smart enough. He knew James and Remus would fight, no matter how much they protested that they were still students. He knew once they were out of school, those two would be thinking just like Sirius. But he didn't want to fight. He was never a fighter and he never would be. Taking a shaky breath, he nodded. "I… I would fight them."

Sirius nodded and raised his eyebrows at James and Remus. "You know we would, Sirius," James said sincerely. He turned to Peter, whose face was a dark red with an effort to keep himself under control. "I'm so sorry, Peter."

"Me too," Remus said. The last thing he would ever want for his friend was this. No one deserved this. Even after what Peter had said to him and James, he only wanted Mr. Pettigrew to be alright. He could just imagine opening up the _Daily Prophet_ and finding a follow-up article about Mr. Pettigrew… saying his body had been found with the Dark Mark hanging over it. The very thought made him want to be violently ill.

Peter's mouth twitched. "Thanks," he said thickly. He swayed from side to side for a moment before saying, "Excuse me," and hurrying out of the room.

"I can't believe this," James muttered, turning away from his friends to wipe his eyes on the back of his hand.

"Me neither," Sirius said, his face tinged red, stalking over to his bed and dropping down on it. "Why Mr. Pettigrew?"

"I don't know," Remus said, sitting down beside Sirius. He was the only one with dry eyes, but his face was riddled with sadness.

James crossed the room and sat down on the other side of Sirius. "You were serious when you said you wanted to do something about it?"

Sirius nodded. "Yes. Were you two serious when you said there wasn't anything some students could do?"

James and Remus conceded. "But we won't be students for much longer," Remus pointed out. "We're graduating in a few months."

"So we're agreed then? When the time comes, we're going to do whatever we can to fight them?"

James and Remus did not hesitate. "Agreed."

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Sixty Eight: So Little Time**_

Lily watched him concernedly. "Are you alright, James?" She had never seem James behave so… so nervously, she supposed. He usually managed to keep his composure quite well, something she admired about him.

James paused and laughed a little before facing her. "It's funny when Sirius says something that gets you thinking."

"What d'you mean?"

"He comes out with some interesting points sometimes, like that bit about not having all the time in the world anymore. You have to admit that he had a point."

Lily still appeared confused. She had no idea where James was heading with this. "He did have a point… I suppose. James, what are you-"


	68. So Little Time

Chapter Sixty Eight  
So Little Time

For days the boys followed the _Daily Prophet _obsessively, looking for anything - even the tiniest hint - that could tell them the fate of Mr. Pettigrew. They anxiously awaited the letters from Peter's mother every day, hoping she had some good news to share with them. They even asked Remus's father if he knew about any stories that would be printed in the paper concerning it. Unfortunately they received no news and were only left to wonder about Mr. Pettigrew's fate. Peter had gone into a stony silence about it, never wanting to talk about it. His friends didn't force him to, but let him know that if he ever did want to talk, they would be listening. They knew it wasn't helpful to let certain things stew inside for too long.

For the rest of the seventh years, this half of the year only meant the NEWT examinations were looming ever closer, and the professors saw this as well. They made sure to remind their students daily to study their hardest because the end was near. It was now almost March and the NEWTs were rapidly approaching. There was no denying it now. The seventh years couldn't slack off now. They were almost done. Their careers at Hogwarts were steadily coming to an end. The seventh years were taking their Professors' words to heart and were working their hardest; even the students who hardly ever cracked a book could now be seen poring over their notes.

This half of the year also brought about some important life decisions for the seventh years. Before Christmas, they could ignore decisions like career goals and living arrangements, pretending that all of this was ages away. Now it was far more difficult to do so. James had enough gold that had been set aside at his birth to buy himself a nice apartment in London. Living in London was a priority for him; he needed a short travelling distance between his home and St. Mungo's. Peter's arrangements were not as solidified, at least to the knowledge of his friends. He had privately made the choice to go back to his mother's if his father never came home. He didn't want her living by herself.

Sirius, of course, had his flat already. It would be waiting for him when he graduated. The layout of the place was too big for one person, but big enough for two or three people. He had attempted convincing James and Peter to consider moving in with him, but neither of them would. James thought it would be brilliant, but he had other plans as far as living went. Sirius had a vague idea about what those plans might contain, though he said nothing to James. He knew the plans wouldn't be immediate, but they were in the future. When Sirius approached Remus about sharing his flat, Remus almost at once said no, yet Sirius could see that wasn't the answer he really wanted to give. After some pushing, Sirius managed to get him to agree. He knew the only reason Remus would say no in the first place was because he didn't want to depend on his friend, but Sirius managed to make him forget that.

Even with the anger of Mr. Pettigrew's disappearance and the stress of the end of Hogwarts, there were still some enjoyable moments to be had. After Lily's eighteenth birthday, when James took it upon himself to throw her a small party by the lake, it became official that they were dating. James, as happy as he was, couldn't deny that he was shocked, though pleasantly so. But after the party when Lily pulled him aside and thanked him for remembering her birthday – her first birthday where her parents weren't able to send her their well wishes – she couldn't refute that James Potter was no longer the arrogant git she had thought he was.

James, of course, was thrilled by this revelation of hers. He had been pleased just by the fact that she seemed to want to be his friend. As much as he would have liked it, he wasn't going for anything more than that unless she made the first advance. With his luck with the girl, she would have been repulsed if he had tried to hint that he liked her as any more than a friend. He wasn't about to be sent back to square one and not even be her friend. If he couldn't have her as anything more, he just wanted to be her friend. Much to his amazement, it was Lily who openly admitted that she may have liked him just a bit more than she should.

Regardless of whether or not it was Lily who made the first advance, James was keeping himself in check. He wasn't about to ruin a good thing.

"That's it!" Sirius shouted furiously, slamming his Charms textbook down on the table with such a loud thud that a few first year girls sitting by the window squeaked in fright.

James let out an exasperated sigh and shook his head solemnly at his friend. "Sirius, what have I told you about scaring first years?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Only do it if they're Slytherins."

Lily, who was sitting on James's right, rounded on him with narrowed eyes. "Did you really tell him that?"

"I think that it's good advice," James muttered, flipping a page of his Transfiguration textbook over. When Lily said nothing, he looked up dubiously at her. "Come on, Lily, you're a Gryffindor. Do you seriously not have a bone of dislike for the snakes we have to cohabitate with?"HaH

Lily considered this for a moment before sheepishly saying, "Well… maybe I do."

"Finally she admits it. It only took you seven years."

"Yes, well, I had reason to not despise them, unlike you two."

James grumbled incoherently at the allusion to Severus Snape. He had to put up with the sneers coming from the Slytherin ever since he started going out with Lily. But what he had to go through was nothing compared to what Lily had to. Snape had taken it upon himself to try and scare her away from James and also make mention that she was a hypocrite. Normally, this wouldn't bother Lily, but he was insistent, never giving her a moment of peace when he could catch her alone, which wasn't very often anymore. James, Sirius, Remus or Peter was usually around and when they weren't, Lily had made it a point to avoid all of Snape's favourite haunts in the castle, which basically meant avoiding the dungeons.

"Well, now you have a few good reasons," Sirius said reasonably as he stabbed unreasonably at the piece of parchment that was supposed to be his Charms homework. Moaning in frustration when he saw that he poked a large hole straight through it, he sifted through his bag, looking for some more parchment.

"Why are you murdering your homework, Padfoot?" James inquired, looking up from his own work.

"Because all it does it mock me because there's so much of it! It just laughs and laughs because it _knows _I'll never be able to finish all of it. I'm smart, but I don't work that fast! We're graduating, I understand that, but does that mean the professors want us to forever remember the horror that is their homework assignments?"

"I believe it does."

"Stuff it, James."

The portrait hole entrance to the common room swung open, revealing Remus, who was struggling under the weight of several heavy looking books. Seeing this, James got up to relieve Remus of some of the weight. "What did we tell you about too much studying?" he asked sternly, leading his friend to the table they were sitting at. He wasn't likely to forget what happened at the beginning of the year.

"This isn't my fault," Remus said at once, heaving three large books onto the table, James doing the same.

James gestured towards the books with wide eyes. "Then where did all these books come from?"

"Professor Flitwick."

Sirius looked up in horror, his mouth falling open. "_Tell_ me we're not going to have to do _all_ of this?" He sounded as if he might have a nervous breakdown if those six books Remus had lugged in consisted of the rest of their coursework.

Remus shook his head. "No, _you_ guys don't need to know anything about what's in these books."

"Then why do you have them?" Lily asked him, picking up the top book and leafing through it.

"I made the mistake of telling Flitwick that Charms is one of the subject I may consider teaching. So he started piling up all these books for me, saying they'd be helpful." Remus laughed hollowly. "Like I'd be hired anyway."

"Dumbledore would hire you," Lily told him encouragingly as she closed the book she had been perusing and replacing it on the pile.

"Dumbledore's already done too much for me." Truthfully, he had only come up with the idea of being a teacher to appease Professor McGonagall, who would not for an instant listen to him when he said that he shouldn't even bother looking for a career. Who would want to hire a werewolf? That was two years ago now and he had started liking the idea of teaching, but when he brought himself back to reality, he knew it was impossible. He shouldn't have said anything to Professor Flitwick.

James knew better than to press the subject any further right now. He would just have to wait until Remus forgot about it and bring it up again. Remus's self-deprecation would get him nowhere. Dumbledore would hire him if he just asked. The Headmaster wouldn't think his student was asking too much from him. Instead, he asked, "Have you seen Peter today?"

Remus nodded as he stared at the massive books. "Earlier, he was out by the lake. He didn't seem like he wanted to talk, so I went inside." The truth was that he had gone over to Peter and sat down, but Peter had ignored him completely until Remus started talking. Then Peter asked him to leave. Peter's behaviour was understandable, given what he was going through, but Remus would have thought he would have wanted to talk to a friend. After all, who was better help in getting through a terrible situation than a friend?

"That's horrible, I hope they find his dad soon," Lily said sadly, looking towards the common room entrance as if Peter might come walking through it, gleeful with the news that his father had finally been found.

"I'm sure they've got people on it," Sirius claimed confidently. Then, a little less confidently, he added, "Have any of you seen the paper this week? People are disappearing left, right and centre. If they can't find one, how can they find ten?"

"Has it really gone up to ten people?" Remus asked, utterly disgusted, yet reluctantly amazed, by this news. There had been people disappearing left and right for years, but never so many at once.

"It's about there. I just wish people would _do_ something."

"I'm sure people are," James inserted, thinking of their parents who must have been fighting something. He also thought about the others they had heard about – Mad Eye, Gideon, and Fabian – whoever they were, they were doing something. "This is mental," he spat out suddenly, unintentionally slamming his fist on the table and drawing the attention of several third years. James sent them a pointed look and they pretended they hadn't seen anything.

"Yeah, it is," Sirius agreed, nodding fervently. "But it makes you think…"

"Think about what?" Remus asked, curiously looking up from one of the books Flitwick had forced upon him.

Sirius shrugged. "I dunno… It makes me think that you've only got so much time to do things you'd normally take the time to think through. You never know what's going to happen, so you might as well live for the present."

Remus considered this. Sirius had a point. In the world they were living in, no one knew if they were going to wake up the next morning, so they might as well live life to the fullest. Who knew when their lives would end? "True," he said. Then, raising a dubious eyebrow at his friend, he inquired, "You're not planning on doing anything stupid, are you?" The last thing they needed was for Sirius to go and do something dangerous because he was afraid he would never get to do it.

"Of course not, Remus."

James had been listening to Sirius's words very carefully. They were all at an age where they would normally have the whole world within their grasp. They could do whatever they wanted, be whatever they wanted as long as they tried. But Sirius was right. They didn't have the forever they should have had. Their time was limited by this war. At the rate this war was going, who was to say they wouldn't be the next ones to be taken unknowingly on their way home from work? The walls of Hogwarts could only protect them for so long. Come June, they would be sent out into the real world and there was no going back.

He glanced sideways at Lily, who was now saying something to Sirius and Remus that James didn't understand, mostly because he wasn't trying to. He was trapped in his own thoughts right now. He had waited for so long to be where he was – sitting beside Lily Evans and having her like him more than the friend he had just been trying to be. He had forced himself to be patient ever since the disaster during the OWLs when Lily proclaimed she would rather go out with the Giant Squid than with him.

He was tired of being patient.

When his three friends finished talking, James turned to Lily. "C-could you come with me for a moment?"

Looking fairly perplexed, Lily nodded and followed James as he led her through the common room and out into the seventh floor corridor. The stairwell was deserted and the Fat Lady was far too occupied drinking with her friend Violet to give the Head Boy and Girl much notice. James was rubbing his chin, pacing back and forth, his eyebrows knitted together and his eyes deep in thought behind his glasses.

Lily watched him concernedly. "Are you alright, James?" She had never seem James behave so… so _nervously_, she supposed. He usually managed to keep his composure quite well, something she admired about him.

James paused and laughed a little before facing her. "It's funny when Sirius says something that gets you thinking."

"What d'you mean?"

"He comes out with some interesting points sometimes, like that bit about not having all the time in the world anymore. You have to admit that he had a point."

Lily still appeared confused. She had no idea where James was heading with this. "He did have a point… I suppose. James, what are you-"

"I'm just thinking that if we don't have as much time as we think we do, we should probably have the chance to do things we would normally take time to think through, you know. Who knows what's going to happen tomorrow? You don't want to die regretting that you never got to experience life experiences."

Lily's voice was cautious. "What kinds of things?"

"I like you, Lily."

"I know… I like you too, James, you know that." What was this all about? Why did Sirius have to bring this up and force James to evaluate his life right now? She didn't know what life experiences he was talking about.

"So, if we're both agreed that we like each other, I would be able to do this without making you upset?" James was tired of being cautious. He made it clear to Lily what he was doing so she had the chance to back away if she wanted, but she didn't. She allowed James to close the gap between them and she wasn't upset about it at all.

* * *

"James, we need to talk to you."

"What about?"

"This came while we were in the Great Hall."

It was well past dinnertime and Remus and Sirius had been searching the castle for over an hour trying to find James. They hadn't seen him since he disappeared with Lily and Lily had reappeared shortly after the two had left. They had asked Lily where James went, but she didn't know. At the time, Remus and Sirius didn't have a pressing need to see their friend, so they let Lily fantasize about whatever it was she and James had done and went about completing their homework. They didn't really want to know.

It was only when they had been eating their dinner and Peter's owl arrived - anticipating seeing his owner - that they needed to worry. Peter hadn't come to dinner and so the owl settled for dropping the letter onto Remus's silverware and sticking his beak into Sirius's goblet of pumpkin juice before taking off once more. The letter was from Peter's mother. They set off at once to find James. After thoroughly consulting the Marauder's Map, they came to the conclusion that James must be in the Room of Requirement, as he wasn't visible at all on the map. They severely doubted that he would have gone into Hogsmeade without inviting them along.

James was, indeed, in the Room of Requirement. Remus and Sirius had walked stubbornly back and forth in front of the tapestry on the seventh floor, asking it to reveal James Potter. It had taken a few tries, but once it obliged they were able to find their friend. The Room of Requirement had turned itself into a replica of the Gryffindor common room. They spotted James lounging in one of the squashy armchairs, reading one of his textbooks. He seemed perfectly content with himself, almost obnoxiously so, and he was surprised to see the frazzled looks on his friends' faces. "What's the matter with you two?" he said as he took the extended letter.

"That's from Peter's mother," Remus said, jerking his hand towards the parchment envelope. Sirius had been tempted to open it and discover its contents, but Remus had snatched it away before he could. They shouldn't be reading Peter's mail without his permission. Besides, he was sure the contents of the letter were not good.

"You two read Peter's mail?" James turned the letter open, searching for any signs that it had been opened before it reached the appropriate recipient. But the seal remained unbroken.

"Her name's on the envelope, James," Sirius said bluntly, rolling his eyes. "But look at her handwriting."

Raising an eyebrow, James shrugged and turned the letter over, staring at the return address. Mrs. Pettigrew's handwriting was usually very neat and elegant; she used small, curvy letters when she wrote. They had seen her handwriting several times when they were staying at the Pettigrews' over the summer. The handwriting on this letter was the complete opposite; it was a bloody mess. They wouldn't have even known it was from her if her name hadn't been on it. This didn't sit well with them. They needed to find Peter and learn the contents of this letter.

James gazed worriedly at his friends. "You guys aren't thinking…?"

"We're hoping we're wrong," Remus said quietly, his eyes fixed on the letter as if he stared at it long enough, he would find out what was written in it. "I don't want to think of what it'll do to Peter if we're right about what's in that letter."

James stood up, crossing to Sirius's side. He pulled the Marauder's Map out of Sirius's front pocket and tapped it with his wand, uttering the credo: _I solemnly swear that I am up to no good_. He waited, rather impatiently, for the map to take form, the dark ink snaking into the different rooms of the castle. Once it did, there were six eyes roving it, praying to see a tiny figure with the name _Peter Pettigrew_ scrawled above it. They saw that Peter was no longer sitting by the lake. Instead, they saw a dot making its way towards the very room they were in. Clearing the map and shoving it in his own pocket, James led the way out of the Room of Requirement and into the corridor, where the three boys almost barreled over Peter.

"What's wrong with you three?" Peter asked, taking several steps backwards so he didn't get knocked over.

"This came for you," Sirius said urgently, ripping the letter out of James's hand and giving it to Peter.

Visibly confused, Peter turned the envelope over so he could see who it was from. Almost instantly they saw his face become a few shades whiter. "W-why's my mum writing to me?" He frantically ripped the envelope open and pulled the letter out. His eyes grew wide as he took in the splotches that clearly came from his mother's tears. Hands shaking, Peter began to read the letter in his trembling hands.

_Peter,  
__The Aurors… they found your dad. There wasn't anything they could do to save him. I'm so sorry, Peter. Please come home, I need you here right now.  
__Mum_

Peter's mouth was hanging open in disbelief. For weeks now he had been preparing himself for this moment, when he would learn of his father's inevitable death, but obviously he hadn't prepared himself enough. He felt as though he had been punched several times in the gut. He was completely winded. The Aurors had found his father; they said there was nothing they could do to save him. His father was dead… No, this was impossible. His father couldn't be _dead_. He was too full of life to have it taken away from him before his time was due. This was a joke, it had to be.

But no one, especially a mother, would joke about such a thing.

Remus spoke up quietly, "Peter?"

Peter was broken out of his thoughts and stared at Remus with unfixed eyes. "What?"

"W-what does the letter say?" He knew what the letter said, of course. They all knew just by looking at Peter's face, but they needed to hear him say it. Hearing it from Peter would make it official.

"The Aurors found my dad; there wasn't anything they could do."

James planted his forehead in his hand, while Sirius bit his bottom lip uneasily and Remus shook his head slowly. They didn't know what to say. Saying that they were sorry seemed so insignificant. Mr. Pettigrew was too good of a man to have had his life ended for him so quickly and, they imagined, in such a brutal way. They were expecting it. James, Sirius and Remus knew this was the end they were going to hear, but it didn't mean they wanted it to happen. Peter didn't deserve this to happen. He was only seventeen! He still needed his father.

"I need to go see Dumbledore," Peter said suddenly, abruptly hurrying towards the staircase. His mum wanted him home; he needed to arrange it with the Headmaster. Running a hand down his wet face, he almost missed the next question posed at him.

"Would you like one of us to go with you?" Remus asked. James had come with him when his grandparents died and it had made the situation so much easier to handle. This would hit Peter harder; a father seemed so much more to lose.

Peter didn't look back. He merely shook his head and kept walking. "No thanks. I need to do this on my own."

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Sixty Nine: No Next Year**_

"Pettigrew," Snape acknowledged coolly.

"Snape," Peter returned tonelessly.

"How have you been?" Snape almost laughed at the incredulous look on Pettigrew's face when he heard the question. He never expected Snape to ask him that.

"Err… fine." Peter couldn't deny that he felt uneasy, but also rather well… he didn't know. He supposed he was surprised to find Snape asking him about his well being. His friends hadn't done much of that lately. Well, he couldn't say that they hadn't asked at all. When he first came back to school after his father's funeral they would ask, but not so much anymore.


	69. No Next Year

Chapter Sixty Nine  
No Next Year

Peter was gone from school for a week and a half while he helped his mother with the necessary arrangements for his father's funeral and to allow himself some time to take to grieve. In the meantime, his friends kept up his schoolwork for him; they planned on teaching him whatever material he missed so he would worry himself about catching up when he returned. With the NEWTs approaching, however, the professors were mostly reviewing material Peter should already know. When it came time for Peter to actually leave school, the boys knew enough to respect their friend's wishes and not accompany him home. When he said he had to do this alone, he meant it. He didn't want any of them with him. He had to face his father's death by himself. That was the only way it would feel real to him. And when Peter finally returned to the castle, he didn't want to talk about it.

They hated that Peter had to go through this. He was only seventeen. Yes, he was considered an adult by Wizarding standards, but a seventeen year old still needed his father. There were so many life experiences Peter would have that his father should have been a part of. It just wasn't right that the man's life had to be cut so short.

With the end of their school career so near, the seventh years were scrambling to tie up any loose ends they might have left untied. They had to study for the NEWTs and work on setting up interviews in places like the Ministry or St. Mungo's, or even some of the shops in Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade. They had to decide whether they were going to stay with their parents over the summer or move directly into a new home with friends. Some seventh years were using their spare time to roam the castle, discovering rooms they had never been in, new paintings with horrible personalities. They wanted to do everything possible to make their last few weeks within the castle memorable.

"Have you guys heard?"

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter, who had been sitting out by the lake studying for their exams, glanced up to see an excited Lily Evans hurrying towards them, her red hair flapping in the light breeze behind her. "Hear what?" James asked, idly turning the page in his Defence Against the Dark Arts textbook. "Can you believe Hayes is leaving?"

"Why is he leaving again?" Sirius asked curiously, looking up from his Charms notes. Their professor had made the announcement three days ago during class and it had been received with little to no shock. The students were far too used to their professors leaving by now to care. There was disappointment, of course, as Hayes had been a brilliant teacher, but the Hogwarts students expected these announcements by now. What would shock them would be a professor who lasted more than one year.

"Says Beauxbatons wants him to work there and since he lives in France during the summers, he thought it would just be best to live there permanently and take the job." James shrugged. It was a reasonable move, no one could deny that.

"It's better than what's happened to some of our other professors," Remus reminded Sirius, peering out from behind his Transfiguration textbook. At least Hayes wasn't fired or run out of the school doing back flips. Though Remus seriously doubted Sirius minded the latter outcome, as he had received quite a lot of gold from that.

James nodded, glancing at Sirius as well. "True."

Lily cleared her throat loudly and irritably. "I was going to say something."

James's cheeks tinged red as he diverted his attention to his forgotten girlfriend. "Oh, yeah, sorry, what were you going to say?"

"Alice and Frank are getting married!"

"What?" the four boys shouted loudly, sending a flock of birds that had been milling through the grass flying away. They really shouldn't have been so surprised. Alice and Frank had been joined at the hip for years now; it was only a matter of time before Frank popped the question. Though they knew it really wouldn't be much of a question, as Alice would obviously say "yes." She would be mental not to. What surprised them was that they were so young. Alice and Frank were both only eighteen and were just coming out of school. They hadn't even graduated yet! They supposed this all had something to do with what Sirius had once said – everyone was afraid they won't wake up the next morning, so they're doing things they might never get a chance to do. Marriage would on the top of the list.

"Alice just told me," Lily told them gleefully, kneeling down beside James, whose mouth was still hanging open. It was only when he saw Lily kneel down that he gained the presence of mind to shut it. "She's so excited."

"W-when are they getting married?" Sirius stuttered. Surely they would be having their wedding soon.

"In July, obviously once school's over. Alice is so thrilled. Of course, everyone knew it was going to happen, but not so soon." Lily looked so excited; it was almost as if she was thinking about her own wedding rather than her best friend's. After a moment, Lily got up again, announcing that she had to go speak to Professor McGonagall.

When Lily had hurried away, Sirius turned meaningfully to James. "You know what this means, don't you, Prongs?" he said in his most serious voice.

James thought for a moment and shook his head slowly. He had no idea what it meant. "No… what does it mean?"

"Alice is getting married; Lily is all excited about it." Sirius was saying this in such a way that it made James feel ridiculous that he didn't know what his friend was hinting at. Lily was just excited for her best friend. That was natural, wasn't it? When Sirius saw that James wasn't going to make the connection any time soon, he burst out, "She's going to be expecting _you_ to pop the question!"

"WHAT?" James blurted out in horror. He almost jumped to his feet, but settled for sitting up straight on his knees. A couple of third years who were sitting not too far away sent the group strange looks.

Sirius ignored the third years. "That's how girls think, mate!"

James's eyes were round behind his glasses, a look of the utmost terror in them. He was only _eighteen_. He wasn't getting married! He didn't care if Alice and Frank were, _he wasn't. _"But… but we've only been going out for a few months! How could she be expecting me to ask her that? I'm only eighteen, Padfoot!"

"Frank and Alice are only eighteen too," Sirius pointed out, obnoxiously cheerfully. He was enjoying James's horror far too much.

"Yes, but they've also been together for longer than I can remember. For them it was only a matter of time. For me and Lily… it's a miracle she's tolerated me this long!"

"Sirius, will you stop making him hysterical?" Remus begged. He was trying to study and James's frantic ranting wasn't helping.

"I'm just saying what I think, Moony," Sirius said, leaning back on his elbows so he could read Remus's notes from over his shoulder. "Will we have to know the human Transfiguration bit?"

Remus nodded jerkily, underlining some helpful information he would need to know later. "I would think so." He set his book down, shutting it on his quill so he wouldn't lose his place. "How many more days until this is all over?"

"Not enough," James replied, still dazed from what Sirius had told him. There was no way Lily was expecting him to _propose_, no way. They had just started going out! It had just been a few months, hardly enough time to make such a life altering decision, no matter how much or how little time they thought they had! He knew that everyone was filled with uncertainty lately, and he understood that. But Lily was smart enough to know she would make it through this war until an appropriate age to get married. There was nothing to be worried about, nothing at all. She was just excited for her friend. That was all.

"I can't believe school is ending," Sirius said, now looking towards the castle that had been their home for the past seven years with a sentimental longing in his eyes. He had never considered Number Twelve Grimmauld Place his home. Hogwarts was the first home he ever had and now he was leaving it. "It's going to be strange… not coming back next year." Every year Sirius counted the days until the train would leave from Platform Nine and Three Quarters, now he had no days to count because the train would be leaving, but they wouldn't be on it. Trying to get his mind off this depressing idea, he decided to ask, "When are you moving in, Moony?"

Remus, who had opened his textbook once more and was currently reading, again, shrugged. "When is good for you?"

"Any time is good for me."

"Day after we get back from school fine?"

"Sounds fine to me." Sirius then turned to Peter, who was distractedly plucking up blades of grass and tearing them between his fingers, appearing to not be listening to their conversation at all. "You know the offer's still open, Peter."

Not bothering to face his friend, Peter shook his head before plucking out another blade of grass and ripping it methodically between his fingers. "I need to stick around and help my mum. She needs me right now."

Sirius said nothing more. He understood why Peter would want to stay around for the summer, maybe even for autumn. His mother was devastated over the death of her husband. From what Sirius heard from the Potters and the Lupins, sometimes she would find it difficult to do the simplest of tasks. Peter wanted to be around to help her do them. But Sirius didn't believe that Peter _had_ to. His mother would understand if he wanted to move out. He _was_ an adult, after all. Then again, Sirius never understood family ties; he really had no idea what Peter was going through.

Soon it would be time for them to leave the school, to go on with their lives. The four boys were excited at the prospect, but terrified by it at the same time, though they would never openly admit it. James and Sirius had already submitted applications to St. Mungo's and the Ministry of Magic and were waiting to hear back. Remus's teaching plans were put on hold until a position opened up. As it was, Dumbledore had already filled the Defence Against the Dark Arts position and, as he privately admitted to Remus, he wouldn't give the job to such a young boy, especially one he liked. Peter was in a bit of an understandable slump. He was focused on helping his mother rather than searching for property to establish a store. He would start on that in a month or two, when everything at home was as close to normal as it could be.

The NEWT examinations finally arrived and an eerie hush fell over the castle much like in their fifth year when they were due to sit the OWLs. The seventh and fifth years, who were sitting their OWLs, walked about on edge with their noses buried in their notes and textbooks at all times. The students had several ways of going about releasing their nerves. Some went into stony silences that would only be broken once the exams had concluded. Others boasted that they knew so much they didn't have to study a bit, but they could be seen studying intensely at all hours of the night. Still others bought black market medallions that were supposed to enhance their brain power but really only caused them to visit the bathroom a few more times than was necessary.

No matter how hard they all tried to hide it, it was evident that they would be immensely relieved once the exams were over.

Unlike when they sat for the OWL exams, the seventh years knew what to expect this time. They took the written exams in the morning for the next two weeks and the practical bits in the afternoon. Those that had carried on with Astronomy would be taking their practical bit at midnight on Tuesday. The fact that they knew what to expect still didn't make the tests any less nerve-wracking. In fact, it made it worse because the seventh years would feel moronic if they did poorly on their exams. During the written portions, the Great Hall was only filled with the sounds of scratching quills. There wasn't even the sound of breathing to be heard unless someone listened specifically for it. During the practical bits, there were just the sounds of spells uttered, their results and the occasional cry of victory or defeat.

The night the exams ended was supposed to be a cheerful one filled with the utter relief of the burden being lifted and the beginning of the night was, indeed, cheerful. It was when James, Remus, Sirius and Peter attempted to sneak to the kitchens for sweets when it all went horribly wrong. Filch had been out to get them ever since they mailed him a fruit basket where the fruit tried to eat him. He wanted those boys in trouble one last time before school ended and he was going to get what he wanted. If he had it his way, they would all be hanging by their big toes from chains in the dungeons. Filch knew they had some way of avoiding him and he was going to find out what it was.

The boys had accidentally left James's Invisibility Cloak behind in their dormitory when they set out, not realising they had until they were too far away from Gryffindor Tower to go back and get it without being spotted. But they had the map; they should have been able to avoid any unwanted visitors, at least that's what they thought. They would have been able to accomplish this, had it not been for the fact that Sirius had drunken one too many bottles of Firewhiskey. He was more hyperactive than he usually was and much more uncoordinated, making it nearly impossible to keep him quiet.

"Padfoot, shut it before we get caught!" Remus hissed furiously, stumbling to the side as Sirius fell sideways into him, tripping over his own feet. With great effort, Remus pushed his friend so he was standing upright.

"Moony… you're hilarious," Sirius laughed, his voice a higher octave than it should have been.

"I'm not trying to be funny! Shut up. Filch is dying to catch us at something! I'm not getting detention days before we graduate!"

"Ouch! Sirius that was my foot!" Peter snapped loudly, elbowing Sirius so he toppled sideways into Remus again.

"Quiet, Wormtail!" James ordered, abruptly coming to a halt and holding an arm out so his friends could walk no further. Well, that was his intention, at any rate. Sirius managed to crawl under James's arm. James groaned, placing his forehead in his hand. They were doomed. "Sirius, get back here!" Sirius had grabbed hold of the Marauder's Map right out of James's hands and was reading it as he crawled across the cold floor.

"Filch has such a funny name," he chuckled, pointing to a place on the map that they knew said _Argus Filch_.

Remus's eyes widened. "Filch is coming!" Without a moment's hesitation, he hurried after Sirius, kneeling down and yanking the map out of his hand so he could clear it. "Mischief Managed!" But before he could shove the map in his pocket, a pair of feet had marched up to him. He could see the long, moldy brown tattered robes of Argus Filch. The caretaker had won – he had his last opportunity to stick the boys in detention one more time before they graduated.

"Well, well… what do we have here?" he snarled gleefully, pulling Remus and Sirius up by the scruffs of their robes and snatching the map from Remus.

"It's just some old parchment," Remus muttered quickly, gazing at his feet. James groaned from behind him. Remus could never lie convincingly, he wasn't able to look someone in the eye and tell an outright lie.

"Old parchment, aye? Then I don't s'ppose you'd mind if tossed it into the fireplace?"

"No!" James and Peter shouted swiftly. They couldn't let Filch destroy an entire year's worth of work. The map allowed them to wander about the castle after hours, to get in and out of Hogsmeade without being caught. They weren't letting Filch _destroy _it like it was just some useless sheet of , they were going to _murder_ Sirius.

Filch's eyes lit up dangerously. Clearly it was the wrong thing to do – to yell that he couldn't destroy it. They made him suspicious. "Don't want me destroying it, don't you? Guess I'll just have to confiscate it. I'll figure out how it works."

Filch had relinquished his grips on Remus and Sirius, who stumbled backwards so they were standing with James and Peter, both of whom were seething. "Now what does this do?" Filch mused quietly, tapping the parchment with a gangly, dirty finger. The boys glared daggers at him. They had never disliked the caretaker as much as they did right now. He was going to burn their map, their precious map that they had worked on for a year, the map they had put so much work into. Just because Sirius had ingested too much Firewhiskey and went stumbling and yelling about the castle! "What do you do?" Filch snarled, as if the parchment would answer him. "Come on, you must do something!" Filch was visibly frustrated. "Show me, Argus Filch, what you do!" Filch barked. After a moment, Filch said confusedly, "Eh? What's this?"

The caretaker thrust the map into James's hands and he looked furious. Sweet Merlin, they had forgotten about the security feature Remus had put on it.

_Messer Moony would like to advise Argus Filch to mind his own bloody business._

_Messer Prongs also wishes Argus Filch would mind his own business and would also like to add that he probably will never be able to figure out what this parchment is even if he thought so much his brain exploded._

_Messer Padfoot would like to add that Argus Filch is a sorry excuse for a wizard and probably could not transfigure a beetle into a button if his life depended on it._

_Messer Wormtail would like to wish Argus Filch a good day and advises him to bathe once in a while. The smell is nauseating._

The boys felt sick. They tried to refrain from using their nicknames in public, only using them when they were amongst friends, but who was to say that Filch hadn't heard them before? He must have! They were as good as dead. Who would have thought they would make it so close to graduation before being chucked out? It must have been a school record. If students had ever managed to have been thrown out, it would have happened long before graduation. Not just days before.

They were _dead_.

"Bloody Zonko's!" Filch roared, furiously stuffing the map into his robe pocket. "I knew you lot were up to no good when you came back from that last trip. Laughing and carrying those Zonko's bags. Come with me, you're getting detention!"

They were undeniably annoyed that they had detention the day before the Leaving Feast, but they were relieved that Filch didn't connect the names on the map to the names of the boys he was disciplining. Their punishment could have been a lot worse if he'd managed that. In the end, the boys found themselves cleaning the entire Great Hall with the smallest toothbrushes Filch could find on such short notice. It wasn't so much the detention that bothered the boys as it was the fact that their beloved map was confiscated. Filch had put it into his file cabinet for _highly dangerous_ items.

They didn't understand how he would know if it was dangerous or not, as he could not figure out how to make it work. He probably assumed that because of whom he had confiscated it from, it must have been harmful.

It was with heavy hearts that the seventh years sat down with the rest of the school for the Leaving Feast. Usually they would be happy, eagerly awaiting the announcement of the winner of the House Cup and chatting animatedly about what they were going to do when they came back next year. But there was no next year. They weren't coming back to school; they were going out into the real word. They were going to have to learn to fend for themselves. They wouldn't be coming back to Hogwarts in September to listen to the oddities that were Dumbledore's speeches or hear the Sorting Hat Sort the new first years. James had to pass on the title of Quidditch captain to Alexandra Benz, leaving Professor McGonagall to harass her every year when it came to winning the Quidditch Cup.

Dumbledore's final speech brought words of warning, especially for the departing students. He warned them to be careful, to keep their loved ones close and to watch their step. Of course, he had to remind the younger students to refrain from using magic during the holiday, lest they be at the mercy of the Ministry for breaking the Statute of Secrecy. The thrill of being able to use magic outside of Hogwarts had long ago vanished for the seventh years; it had become habit now for them to cast a spell whenever they could. Now the seventh years were encouraged to use as much magic as possible in order to protect themselves.

It was amazing to believe that their first year, and who knew how many more years afterwards, outside of school would be marred with this war.

The Hogwarts Express chugged happily through the rolling, green countryside. The lunch trolley was making its rounds, the students filling up on Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans, Chocolate Frogs and Licorice Wands. Some of the students who were anxious to get home were running up and down the corridors, suffering the wrath of the Prefects who didn't want to be bothered on their trip home. James, Remus and Lily actually should have been chasing after them, telling them to calm down, but they wanted to enjoy their last trip home.

"Maybe you three really should go stop those two second years," Sirius suggested halfheartedly as he saw the same second years that had hopped by their compartment ten times in the last three minutes pass by again.

"Why? They've got it taken care of," James said, nodding towards two fifth year Prefects who were chasing after them, looking severely frazzled.

"I dunno, I feel kind of bad," Remus said quietly, getting up and heading towards the compartment door before looking over his shoulder at James and Lily. "You two stay here; I'll go take care of the second years." Remus slid the door open and they could instantly hear his voice shouting loudly, "Oi! Get back in your compartment right now before I take points from your house for next year!"

Sirius raised his eyebrows at James and Peter. "Well… he's gotten strict."

"I believe we had something to do with that," James said fairly.

Sirius nodded in a way that suggested he was just remembering that they were the reason behind it. "Well, we couldn't expect him to let them all walk all over him."

Peter, who had not been taking in a word of his friends' conversation, suddenly got up. "I'll be right back." He left the compartment and began in the direction opposite the one Remus had taken, though he stopped to look and see that Remus was telling off the hyperactive students. As he headed towards the bathroom at the back of the train he was met with Severus Snape coming out of it. Almost at once a sneer broke out on Snape's face. It was rare he ever caught Peter without James, Sirius or Remus around. The sorry excuse for a wizard was nothing without those three around. Though it disgusted him to do so, he often wondered how those three stood to have Pettigrew around. He didn't match up to the talent he reluctantly admitted they had, though abused.

But Snape knew how to use Pettigrew's apparent weakness to his advantage. He had been noticing lately that Pettigrew seemed to be distancing himself from those three. He learned that when Lupin offered to accompany Pettigrew home after his father's death, the weakling denied the offer. He didn't seem to be happy tagging along with them anymore. Most would attribute that to the fact that he was grieving over his father and wanted to be left alone, something very understandable, but Snape saw more than others. This had been happening since before seventh year started. Pettigrew wasn't happy and when he wasn't happy, Snape could use this to his advantage.

"Pettigrew," Snape acknowledged coolly when he approached the boy.

"Snape," Peter returned tonelessly.

"How have you been?" Snape almost laughed at the incredulous look on Pettigrew's face when he heard the question. He never expected Snape to ask him that.

"Err… fine." Peter couldn't deny that he felt uneasy around the Slytherin, but also rather well… he didn't know, really. He supposed he was surprised to find Snape asking him about his well being. His friends hadn't done much of that lately. Well, he couldn't say that they hadn't asked at all. When he first came back to school after his father's funeral they would ask, but not so much anymore.

Snape's eyes narrowed, but not in a malicious fashion. They narrowed so he could closely inspect Peter. "You're lying."

"What makes you say that?"

Snape ignored the question. "You know, just because you think they've been your friends doesn't mean they'll always be there for you. Have they been such great friends lately?"

Peter hated himself for doing this, but he was truly considering Snape's words. _Had_ James, Sirius and Remus really been the greatest of friends lately? They hadn't come with him to his father's funeral. Of course, Remus had offered… but was that out of pity or really wanting to be there for him? Of course, Peter had declined the invitation, saying he had to do it on his own. But a real friend would have kept insisting until Peter caved in. None of them had done that, they had given up after one try. Sirius was always making jokes at his expense. Maybe it was all in good fun, but it hurt nonetheless. James… James never did anything to stop him. The only one James tried to defend was Remus.

Finally, he admitted, "No… I suppose they haven't been."

For the quickest of moments, there was a triumphant sneer crossing Snape's lips. He erased it before Peter could notice it. "You know… there are people who would look out for you at all costs, if you just did something for them."

Peter eyed Snape suspiciously. Who was he talking about? "Who?"

"I can't tell you right now, but if you ever feel like you've got no one else around, come find me. I'll help you."

"Why would you? You hate my friends."

"Yes, I do. But I see something different in you. I believe you could do something your friends would never be able to do." Without another word, Snape slid past Peter and vanished inside one of the compartments.

* * *

The Hogwarts Express pulled into Platform Nine and Three Quarters late in the afternoon and for a long time, the seventh year Gryffindors couldn't bring themselves to get off it. Every year they would get off, excited to see their families and wait eagerly for the next September first when they would get back on the scarlet train and go back to the castle for another school year. That castle had been their home since they were eleven and now… now they wouldn't be going back. If they got off the train, it would only make it official. For now they could pretend that the end hadn't come, that they were simply going home for the summer.

In the end, they had to get off. They had to admit that the end had come and their careers at Hogwarts had officially concluded.

Dragging their trunks behind them, the seventh years stepped off the train and looked around for their families. Alice and Frank spotted their families right away and, after promising their fellow Gryffindors they would see each other soon, hurried off to share their good news of their engagement. Lily, James, Remus, Sirius and Peter spotted their parents standing in their usual place right outside the platform barrier. The group of adults looked horribly smaller without the presence of Mr. Pettigrew.

"Here they are," Charles said upon spotting his son and his friends. "James, I talked to Hippocrates today, he says that if you go to St. Mungo's tomorrow, they'll have time for an interview with you."

James grinned happily. "Thanks, Dad. I'll do that. Oh, Mum, Dad, this is Lily." Lily had been hovering uncertainly at James's shoulder.

"Hullo, Lily. James has told us a lot about you," Hannah said, smiling at her son's girlfriend. Now visibly relaxed, Lily was able to greet the Potters wholeheartedly before she had to leave with Alice. She would be staying with Alice and her mother until she was able to find an apartment of her own.

"We've got to be getting home, Peter," Maggie told her son, who readily agreed, saying a hurried goodbye to his friends before leaving.

"It's strange… to think we won't be going back next year," Remus said, watching as the Hogwarts Express still puffed steam into the air.

"It is strange," Sirius agreed. "But we've got to move on, I suppose. You're moving in the day after tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, I just need to pack."

"I guess this is it then," James said. "We should all probably be going."

Without another word, they gathered their belongings and headed through the platform barrier. Hogwarts was in the past, now it was time to look to the future.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Seventy: Life on the Moon**_

"I wouldn't say you ever get used to it," Charles replied, his eyes focused straight ahead. "You just learn to accept it."

James didn't think he could ever accept it. But he would have to give it a try. They stopped outside of Healer Smethwyk's door and Charles knocked n it. Within moments a man opened it, smiling at the two Potters. "Good morning, Charles," he greeted happily. Then, holding out a hand, he added, "It's nice to meet you, James."

Despite his nerves, James confidently shook Smethwyk's hand and replied, "Nice to meet you too, sir."


	70. Life on the Moon

**Author's Note:** The title of this chapter is borrowed from a song by David Cook, of the same title. I chose it because it goes into having your life turned upside down and that's basically what happens with the Marauders.

Chapter Seventy  
Life on the Moon

Remus sat in his bedroom, his legs folded under him as he stared at the boxes piled up by the railing overlooking the living room. He never realised he had so much stuff. It had taken him the better part of the previous day and this morning to track down all of his possessions and even longer to pack them away. His bed had been stripped down completely, his pictures taken off the wall, his records stacked neatly away with them. He had sold his gramophone the day before. There was a kid in town who wanted one and Remus didn't really need his. Sirius had the one they had given him for Christmas years ago. Remus could only imagine what would happen if they had two of them – a battle of who could outlast the music longer, no doubt.

He had avoided his parents all day. His mother had been quiet for the past two days, ever since he had gotten back from school. Remus knew that she was concerned that he was leaving. She knew he was old enough to take care of himself, but when it came to the full moons… she had every right to be worried about her only child. Sirius had assured her that he knew a place Remus could transform, but Mrs. Lupin was still concerned. The only place Remus had ever transformed that wasn't home was the Shrieking Shack. Sirius hadn't gone into specifics about where this place was with Mrs. Lupin, but he had told Remus there was a small forest not too far from their flat. They could Apparate there every full moon. It was far enough removed from society that he would not have to worry about attacking anyone.

Sighing, Remus glanced at his watch and saw that he had better get moving if he wanted to get to Sirius's soon. It was already past midday and he was going to have to make a few trips back and forth. He was able to Apparate to the place, as the landlady, Mrs. Sherman, and her husband were out for the day and he wouldn't have to worry about them seeing him. That would not be the first impression he would want to make for his new landlady. Remus had a number of boxes to bring, it would take some time. His father had insisted on helping him, but Remus refused the help. He could do it on his own. He slid off his bed and kneeled down in front of the box that held his clothes. He was planning on selling his Hogwarts robes, maybe keeping one pair if he needed them. He didn't know why he would need them… maybe he was just feeling nostalgia. He knew Sirius didn't care about his help in paying the rent; Alphard had left him so much money that it wasn't a problem for him to pay it all. But Remus was going to help him and to do that, he needed to sell things.

Swallowing with a bit of difficulty, he knew he had to get going. He had to stop stalling. He knew he had to go talk to his parents now before he began moving his belongings. So, abandoning his packing for the moment, he descended the stairs to the first floor. Remus found his parents in the kitchen. His mother was reading one of her books, a cup of tea beside her, and his father was busy writing an article of the next edition of the _Daily Prophet_, his quill moving furiously across the parchment. Remus stood in the doorway for a moment, watching his parents, before clearing his throat. "Err… I'm about ready to go."HaHHH

Anna cleared her own throat noisily upon hearing her son's voice, setting her tea down on its saucer. Standing up, she hesitated before crossing to her son. Why was it that she couldn't see him as the eighteen year old man he had become? All she saw was the sleepy, timid eleven year old boy she had dropped off at Platform Nine and Three Quarters so many years ago. "You… you better come and visit," she told him firmly.

"Of course I will," Remus assured her. He couldn't dream of never visiting his parents again. He loved them too much to do that and they had done so much for him. "And you two are welcome to visit me any time you want." He and Sirius wouldn't mind at all if they dropped in. Sirius loved Remus's parents like they were his own, anyway.

Anna nodded soundlessly before finding her voice again. "Do you want help bringing your things?"

Remus shook his head. "I'm just going to Apparate with it all. It's faster that way." Maybe he shouldn't have said it like that. He meant that it was easier to just Apparate with it all. He didn't want his mother to think that he couldn't stand to be there for much longer. "It's easier, I mean," he added hastily.

"We know what you meant, Remus," Harry said, coming forward now and gripping his son's shoulder. Harry studied Remus for a moment. It was hard to believe the boy he had seen off onto the Hogwarts Express so many years ago was now about to go out on his own. Ever since Remus had been bitten they worried about how he would grow up. Would he let the prejudices he faced overcome him or would he get past them and live his own life? Harry was pleased to see that it was the latter. He and Anna had done a good job. Despite the obstacles their son faced, he didn't let that stop him from going on with his life. "You're a good boy, Remus."

"Thanks, Dad."

Anna cleared her throat again and began fussing, straightening Remus's robes and flattening stray hairs sticking up on his head, as if he was going somewhere important. For the first time in his life, Remus let her fuss. "Now, if you ever want to come home, you know we're here for you."

"I know, Mum."

"I mean it, if you're feeling too sick after a full moon and want to come back, we'll be happy to take care of you."

"I know, Mum."

"Now, if you every need anything-"

"Mum," Remus said loudly before his mother kept going for such a length of time he would never be able to leave. "I'll be fine. I'll come home when I can, if I'm feeling sick, I'll let you know. Please… you've got to let me do this."

"Oh, I know I do." She didn't know why she was worrying so much. She knew she and Harry had raised an intelligent, self-sufficient boy. He was a man now, but she couldn't help but think of him as the frightened little boy he had been so many years ago. Offering Remus a watery smile, she pulled him into a hug. "You'll answer my letters, won't you?"

"I was actually thinking of ignoring them," Remus chuckled.

"Remus John Lupin," his mother said warningly, pulling away from him and glaring at him, though she knew he was kidding.

Harry then stepped forward. "You're sure you wouldn't like some help with you things?"

Remus nodded firmly. "I'm sure, Dad." Looking between his watery-eyed mother and his calm father, Remus felt a tug inside him. He was going to miss his parents. They'd be there for him for his entire life. Of course, when he went to Hogwarts they weren't able to be there for him all the time, but when he came home for the summer they were. "Have I ever said thank you for everything you've done for me?"

Harry and his wife smiled. "You didn't need to." Pulling his son into a hug, Harry said, "Don't be a stranger."

"I won't be."

* * *

Sirius didn't realise how dirty a house could get when it was unoccupied for almost an entire year. He was just grateful that he didn't have allergies; otherwise there wouldn't be a moment when he was coughing and sneezing due to the obscene amount of dust in his flat. He imagined a runny nose and irritated eyes would make the day's tasks a lot more difficult. He swore he had been cleaning since he got home from school. That wasn't entirely true, as he had unceremoniously chucked his school things into his bedroom the second he walked through the door and proceeded to look for something to drink. Then, before he could get anything of substance done, Mrs. Sherman insisted that he have dinner with her and her husband. Sirius felt horrible declining the offer, especially when she had not charged him rent for the months he was away at school, so he took her up on it. Besides, he needed to remind her that he would be getting a roommate.

Speaking of roommates, Remus should be arriving at any moment with his things. Perhaps once Remus arrived and put all his stuff in his room, Sirius could get some help in ridding the place of the multiple layers of dust that had accumulated since September. In fact, he was sure he'd have some help once Remus came; he knew his friend wouldn't want to live in a place where he was constantly sneezing and coughing. Remus was sick enough without the extra help. Certainly it would be a lot easier to keep this place clean once there were two people living here. There would have been three if Peter hadn't felt that he needed to stay with his mother for the summer or however long it would be.

Sirius understood why his friend chose to stay home, or at least he _tried_ to understand why. Sirius doubted that if he ever received the news that his father died he would go rushing home to take care of his mother. No, he didn't doubt it, he was sure of it. He was sure he wouldn't rush home to tend to any of his family. The only time he did was Alphard, but Alphard was a special case. But Peter loved his father and his mother, his entire family; it was only natural that he would want to help his mum. Still, Sirius wished he wouldn't let that get in the way of him living his life. They were out of school now; they were supposed to go out on their own. It was only natural.

Sirius shook his head; he didn't understand Peter at all lately. No matter how much he tried to, he just didn't know what was going through his friend's head. This bothered him, a lot. Peter had been acting strangely lately and Sirius doubted that all of it had to do with his father's death. He had no doubt that this was the majority of it, but it couldn't be the reason entirely. There had to be something else going on and Sirius wanted to know what it was. He also knew that it was unlikely Peter would tell him.

He studied the countertop he was dusting with a rag before rolling his eyes at himself. He was an eighteen year old wizard, for Merlin's sake. He whipped out his wand and muttered the appropriate cleaning spell. In seconds, the countertop was remarkably clean, so clean he could have sworn he saw it sparkle. His stomach suddenly rumbled loudly. Merlin, he was hungry. Opening one of the cupboards, he discovered a bag of crisps that he had bought yesterday. Taking it out, he dug up a handful. Munching on them, he stared thoughtfully around the kitchen. He really needed to go grocery shopping. Perhaps a single bag of crisps was enough for one person, but not for two. He had passed a helpful looking store on his walk that morning. He and Remus could check it out later that day.

Pausing to inspect the surface of the kitchen table, he deemed it passable and wandered into the living room. He straightened a couch cushion and stared out the window, down at the street below. Tomorrow he had to be at the Ministry of Magic for his eleven o' clock interview with the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. He knew James had gone for his interview at St. Mungo's the day before. He hadn't spoken to his friend yet, as they had both been too busy to talk much, but he was going to see James after his own interview so he could find out how it went. Sirius was sure it had gone well. Who in their right mind would pass up the opportunity to hire Charles Potter's son anyway?

Sirius feared that he would have a hard time getting his job. Who in their right mind would want to make a member of the Black family an Auror? Sirius knew the answer to that – no one. But when he had applied for the interview before school ended, the head of the Auror Division – Alastor Moody – had consented, giving him the first interview timeslot he had. Sirius was eager to meet this man; he had heard the name before. Moody was one of the men Charles, Harry and John had gone to meet that night a few summers ago. He distinctly remembered John Pettigrew saying Mad Eye wouldn't be pleased when he learned that nothing was going on.

He was truly eager to see why this man had been dubbed the nickname Mad Eye. The man was an Auror; he had to be fairly smart. Then again, Dumbledore was a genius and he was downright mad.

He would just have to wait until the next day to see if Mad Eye Moody lived up to his name. Of course, Sirius knew he wouldn't be permitted to call the man that, but inside his head that would be all he was thinking. He knew he would have to focus on his interview. He had to make himself sound different from the mental lot that was unfortunately his family. Sirius knew he would be looked down on in that particular department because of his last name. He hated the fact that that would happen, but he was ready for it. He was prepared to prove he was different from the other Blacks.

Sirius was broken out of his thoughts by a faint _pop_ from behind him. He spun around and saw Remus straightening up, two boxes stacked upon each other in his arms. Sirius's face split into a wide grin – this was really it. They weren't in school anymore. They were out in the real world, living on their own. He was still roommates with one of his best friends and that was all he could ask for. "So," he began, relieving Remus of one of his boxes. "Where's the rest of your stuff?"

* * *

James was standing in his parents' room in the Potter mansion, inspecting himself through the glass of the full length mirror. He had tried desperately to keep his hair lying flat on his head, but to no avail. It stuck up in the back worse than ever. He also wished his glasses weren't as lopsided as they were. No one would want to hire a messy looking Healer; they would misinterpret it as James being unclean rather than genetics and old glasses. He couldn't believe he had an interview with Hippocrates Smethwyk. The man was in charge of the creature-induced injury ward at St. Mungo's. James knew his father had talked to Healer Smethwyk especially for that purpose.

James had to admit, his father knew him well. He knew James would work the hardest in that ward out of all of them, though that didn't mean he wouldn't work hard wherever he was put. But that ward, especially, James would give it everything. It was a hard line of work to go through, but James knew that if he could help make any of the patients feel better, he had done something worthwhile. James couldn't deny, however, he was rather apprehensive about working in the ward where the werewolves first went after they were bitten. He had a strong stomach, he could take the injuries, but he wasn't sure if he could stand the thought of knowing what they were going to have to go through for the rest of their lives. But he had to keep up his philosophy.

If he could just help one person feel better, he had done his job.

Stepping away from the mirror, deciding that there was no hope for his hair, he left the bedroom and met his father in the kitchen. Charles would be taking him to Smethwyk's office before heading to do his rounds around the hospital. Charles had offered to stay during the interview for moral support, but James declined the offer. He didn't think he would like for his father to be around while he was interviewing for his job. First of all, it felt like favouritism and, second of all, James was sure it would do nothing to ease his nerves. He would just be worrying about making a fool of himself in front of his father.

Together they Apparated to St. Mungo's and James found himself standing in the crowded waiting room. Taking a calm look around the bustling room, Charles commented that it was rather slow today and James couldn't keep his mouth from falling open. There had to be at least thirty people in here, all with various mutations. Some had three heads; others were hopping up and down, unable to stop. What was _busy_ like, then? Did there have to be zero moving space for it to be considered busy? As it was, James had already been shoved back and forth in three seconds by five women, all of whom were sporting forked tongues, green scaly skin and webbed feet. The receptionist witch at the head of the room looked frazzled to say the least.

Charles led James through the crowd of malformed witches and wizards and out into the hallway. Not bothering to look at the directory, Charles brought his son to the Created Induced Injuries ward. There was an office just off the entryway, but James still was able to catch glimpse of the patients inside some of the other rooms just across the hallway. "Do you get used to this, Dad?" James asked quietly, his eyes fixed inside the room where a Healer was leaning over a patient, administering potions. He couldn't imagine ever getting used to seeing these sickly people.

"I wouldn't say you ever get _used_ to it," Charles replied fairly, his eyes focused straight ahead. "You just learn to accept it."

James didn't think he could ever learn to accept it. But he would have to give it a try if he wanted any hope of surviving in this field. They stopped outside of Healer Smethwyk's door and Charles knocked on it. Within moments a man opened it, smiling at the two Potters. "Good morning, Charles," he greeted his fellow Healer happily. Then, holding out a hand towards the younger Potter, he added, "It's nice to meet you, James."

Despite his nerves, James confidently shook Smethwyk's hand and replied, "Nice to meet you too, sir."

Smethwyk exchanged glances with Charles, though James could not decipher what the glances relayed. He hoped it wasn't anything negative. Shaking the man's hand and calling him 'sir' seemed like a good start. Unless, of course, Healer Smethwyk didn't like being called 'sir'? There were people who were like that, it made them feel old. But Healer Smethwyk was old, though James wasn't about to point that out. James hoped he hadn't just met someone like that. But Smethwyk was still smiling; he didn't seem at all perturbed by the title.

"Well, I'll leave you two to your business then," Charles said, patting James on the shoulder and nodding to Smethwyk. James nodded at his father, who hovered for a moment as though he was making sure James would be alright, before heading to do his own work for the day.

"Come on in, James." Smethwyk led James into his spacious and bright office. There was a large window the overlooked the street below, crowded with Muggles. There was a desk at the head of the room, with three chairs set around it – one with its back facing the window, clearly the one Smethwyk called his own, and two with their backs facing the door for visitors. There was also an armchair in the corner. Smethwyk led James to the desk and took a seat with his back facing the window, nodding for James to take a seat as well.

Sitting down, James folded his hands together in his lap, and then placed them flat on his knees, before gripping the arms of his chair with them. Finally, deciding upon just folding them in his lap, he waited patiently for Healer Smethwyk to say something. "Your father told me you were originally planning on becoming an Auror. What was the change of heart?"

"I… I think I said Auror just because it was what my best friend wanted to do," James answered truthfully. He honestly wasn't sure if he ever wanted to be an Auror. He always wanted to help, but he wasn't sure being an Auror was the way he wanted to go about it. He knew Sirius had wanted to be one and that was why he had selected the career initially. "But when I gave it some real thought, I could help people both as an Auror and a Healer, but I'd rather be a Healer. My goal is to just help _someone_."

There was a genuine smile on Smethwyk's face as he took in James's words. "Would you care to elaborate on what makes you want to help people so much?"

"Well… one of my best friend's, you know him, I'm sure." Remus had mentioned once before that Smethwyk had known him ever since he was first bitten as a little boy.

Smethwyk nodded sadly. "I've known your friend since he was a child, horrible what happened to him and at such a young age."

"I want to help people like him. I just… I just want to help keep others from being in pain. I know I'm not going to always be able to fix everything completely, but I'd like to be given the chance to try. The way I can do that is to be a Healer." James paused. Did he sound far too idealistic for Smethwyk to take him seriously? Did he sound completely foolish? "Of course, I know that's not always possible… I just want to try," he added hastily in hopes that would make him sound a little more realistic.

Smethwyk, however, didn't seem to mind James's initial response, did not seem to think that it was ridiculously idealistic. "You're an enthusiastic man, James. That's exactly what we need here. A Healer needs to be dedicated to his job, otherwise nothing will get done." Smethwyk folded his hands together and rested his chin upon them, studying James carefully through narrowed eyes. "I think I'll be able to find you a place here."

* * *

It was strange being home. The house seemed so empty, even though Peter's mother was just in the next room. Peter knew the reason why – without his dad around, the house would always have the sense of emptiness. Granted, his father wouldn't be around for a good portion of the day anyway, working right up until the very end of his shift at the Magical Menagerie, but it was just the knowledge that he would be coming home. Peter would never again hear the familiar crack as his father Apparated into the kitchen and announced that he was home. He would never again hear another one of his father's ridiculous stories about an animal that escaped from the store and had to be chased down. It was funny how he never thought so much about the little things while his father was still around. Now that he was gone, Peter couldn't _stop_ thinking about them.

Peter remembered when he was just a kid, before he had even been accepted into Hogwarts. He would be home after a day of roaming around London with his mum or playing in his room when his father came back from work. He would always hear the familiar, comforting _pop_ that would signal his father's return. He would listen to his father's heavy footsteps as he crossed the kitchen to greet his wife and, within just moments, he would appear in the doorway of whatever room Peter happened to be in to offer him a grin and ask if he was hungry. There was never a time when John Pettigrew neglected to greet his son after a day of work. Peter wouldn't be able to ever experience the feeling that his father always cared for him again.

He was gone, he wasn't coming back.

He didn't know what to do. He felt he had to stay here and help his mother. It was true that she had gotten on well enough without him while he had been finishing up with school, but now that he was home… they both just seemed so lost. Recently, it wasn't strange to see his mother wiping away tears the moment he walked into a room. Peter knew she was trying to put up a brave front for him, so he could understand that she wanted him to live his own life but… he just didn't know what to do. Sometimes he found himself almost wishing he had taken Sirius up on his offer to move in with him and Remus.

Sirius… Peter didn't know where he stood with his friends anymore. James, Sirius and Remus… they had a bond with each other that he could never hope to achieve. No matter how much they insisted that they were all best friends, Peter didn't believe that this was true anymore. Maybe it had been at one point in their lives, when they had first met, but not now, years later. Sirius could have tried harder to persuade him to come and live with him and Remus. But he gave in too easily. Peter recalled Sirius endlessly harassing Remus before even giving him a chance to answer "yes" or "no." Of course Remus had said yes, even though he probably wanted to say no.

Remus would always be depending on his friends for everything – for his living space, money, everything. At least Peter had the chance to make something out of himself. He didn't always need to be at the mercy of his friends.

Peter was going to pull himself out from the shadow of those three. He knew he was always thought of as the tagalong, the one who would never make himself into anything. But he had goals of his own. Peter Pettigrew was going to turn his life into something good, something better than any life his friends could ever hope to have. True, James was going to be training to become a Healer and Sirius was on his way to an interview at the Ministry of Magic to become an Auror, but just because he wasn't after a fancy job like those didn't mean he couldn't have a better life. He would do something none of his friends ever dreamed of doing.

What that was, Peter wasn't sure of just yet.

But that didn't matter. He knew he was going to do it. He was determined to prove he wasn't hopeless like everyone thought he was. He would open the most successful shop Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade had ever seen and it _wouldn't_ be burned down. He would have the best security, the best employees, the best merchandise and everyone would know that he did. Every other shopkeeper would wonder what Peter Pettigrew had that made him better than everyone else. They would wonder why their shops couldn't be nearly as successful as he was. They would scramble for ways to beat the competition, yet they would come up with no decent solutions. They would all go to Peter for advice on how to make their shops just as brilliant and successful as his was.

Peter would be the most successful of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. He would prove that he didn't deserve to take the back seat to them all the time in Hogwarts. He would prove that he wasn't the untalented tagalong that everyone thought he was.

Peter Pettigrew would be a name that no one would ever forget.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Seventy One: The Ministry of Magic**_

"Hey, I have an interview today too and I'm wide awake!"

"That's because you went back to sleep and when you woke up you drank three cups of coffee."

"Well, why didn't you do the same?"

"By the time I got up, there was only enough left for this!" Remus got up from his place at the kitchen table and crossed to the sink, turning the faucet on and rinsing out his glass. "We're out of coffee, by the way."

Sirius's eyebrows raised. "How is that possible?"


	71. The Ministry of Magic

Chapter Seventy One  
The Ministry of Magic

"Why so glum, Moony?"

"Because I have an insane roommate."

"Insane? Don't you mean a charming, intelligent, handsome, and _loveable_ roommate?"

"No… I believe I said insane, mental, bonkers, and out of his _bloody mind for waking me up at three in the morning!_"

"Oh, come on, it wasn't _three_ in the morning."

"You're right, it was earlier. It was three when I finally took my alarm clock and threw it at your head to get you to shut up. What, in Merlin's name, possessed to come into my room and start asking me about how Muggles can hear each other over the telephone?" Remus downed the dregs of the large cup of coffee he had poured for himself and rounded on Sirius, who was sitting on the kitchen counter, cheerfully swinging his legs, so the heels of his shoes bumped into the wooden drawers and ignoring the questions sent at him. "Why must you deprive me of the little sleep I get?"

"Remus… you've lived with me for eight years now, don't you know you should expect this?"

Remus opened his mouth to retort, but shut it quickly, drawing his lips into a thin frown and narrowing his eyes. He hated admitting it, he _really_ hated admitting it, but Sirius was completely right. Sirius had been like that ever since he was eleven years old, obnoxiously cheerful at all hours including of the days, including the ones where most normal human beings would be sleeping. Remus should know better than to believe that just because they were grown up and out of school meant Sirius would mature. "You know I have a job interview today, Padfoot. I'd like to be awake for it."

"Hey, I have an interview today too and I'm wide awake!"

"That's because you went back to sleep and when you woke up you drank three cups of coffee."

"Well, why didn't you do the same?"

"It took me two hours to get back to sleep and by the time I got up, there was only enough left for this!" Remus got up from his place at the kitchen table and crossed to the sink, turning the faucet on and rinsing out his mug. "We're out of coffee by the way."

Sirius's eyebrows rose at an alarming rate. "How is that possible?"

"You drank three _large_ cups of coffee in one morning. Forget about it, I'll get some after my interview. Shouldn't take long, anyway."

Sirius noticed the grimace that slid across Remus's lips. He knew his friend was more nervous about his interview than he was of his own. "Where are you looking again?"

Remus answered as he dried his mug. "Flourish and Blotts, they're looking for someone to help sell their books."

"And Mr. Nose in Book would be the perfect selection."

Remus shot Sirius a warning look. "Yeah, he'd be the perfect solution if he didn't disappear once a month for no apparent reason."

Sirius paused for a moment, knowing that Remus was absolutely right. "But you're given sick days, aren't you?"

"Probably, but I assume they won't add up to more than a week, two at the most."

Sirius frowned and bit his bottom lip. This was going to be hard. If his interview went well, he would gladly try to help his friend get a job at the Ministry. He knew Remus would appreciate even the smallest position. But he wasn't fooling himself into believe it would work, and he knew Remus wouldn't let him fool himself into believing it either. If he wanted to be employed by a witch or wizard, he was legally obligated to tell them that he was a werewolf. He was better off being employed by Muggles.

Now, _that_ was an idea.

"Why don't you just forget about Flourish and Blotts?"

Remus blinked, startled by that suggestion. "What?"

"Forget about them and get a job in a Muggle store! You won't be obligated to tell them that you're a werewolf. They wouldn't believe you, anyway."

"Yeah, but what will they say when I don't show up because I'm still sick from the full moon?"

Sirius shrugged. "Muggles don't ask too many questions about things like that. I doubt they'd ask you _why_ you get sick so much."

Remus laughed hollowly. "So instead they just get really mad at me and fire me on the spot."

"Your secret would still be safe, though, wouldn't it?" Sirius checked the clock on the wall and jumped off the countertop, realising he had to be at the Ministry soon. Grabbing his coat, which was lying unceremoniously on the tiled floor, he hastily pulled it on. "I've got to go. Good luck with your interview, see you later!"

Remus wished Sirius the same and watched as his friend ran out the front door. The Ministry was a fifteen minute walk from their flat, a ten minute jog. Remus didn't even know why Sirius was bothering with an interview, he had gotten all O's on his NEWTs. The Department of Magical Law Enforcement would be mental to deny his application. He would be accepted into the Auror Academy before he knew it. Remus would be lucky if any place even _considered _hiring him before laughing in his face and throwing him out when they found out what he was. Maybe he would take Sirius's advice and find a Muggle shop to work in.

He would be fired eventually, but at least they would never find out what he was.

* * *

The moment Sirius stepped out of the visitor's entrance he was immediately engulfed by the crowd of witches and wizards bustling back and forth across the Atrium of the Ministry of Magic. Sirius wove his way around a witch and wizard having a heated discussion about the security of their society and a man who was carrying a chicken that was hiccupping flames at arm's length. The man with the flame throwing chicken was joined by a harried old man with a white bushy moustache. He shook his head at the animal and the two set off to the lifts that Sirius just spotted.

He also spotted a giant fountain with a witch and wizard surrounded by an adoring centaur, goblin and House Elf. Taking a closer look at it, he saw it was called the Fountain of Magical Brethren and all the proceeds from the fountain would go to St. Mungo's. Merlin, if he got the job he would put whatever money he had with him in there. But he had to actually do the interview first.

Sirius straightened out his coat, pants and shirt. He needed to look presentable, give a good impression. Despite the many things he detested about his father and the advice he gave, the one bit that Sirius actually listened to was that when interviewing for a job, it was nest to look as neat and professional as possible. His father may be mental, but Sirius couldn't deny that was a good piece of information. So when he woke up that morning, after drinking those three cups of coffee that weren't nearly as large as Remus was claiming they were, and picked out his best robes from his closet and his nicest shoes. For a moment the thought he should have cut his hair, but laughed it off. His hair was probably the one thing his parents didn't detest about him.

Now that he was here, he found himself wanting to look around instead of heading straight for the lifts to go to his interview, but he was cutting it close. He would take a good look around this place when he was through with the interview. So, instead of roaming about the Atrium to see what he could find other than the beautiful, yet slightly unrealistic, fountain, he set off in the same direction as the two men who had the hiccupping chicken and found the lifts just opening to let people out. Sirius slid in just as a beefy man with too much beard stepped in beside him, as well as a number of owls.

Curiously, Sirius watched as the owls circled above him, hoping they had taken care of their business before they came in. He didn't fancy walking into his interview with owl droppings dripping down his hair. He also noticed that they had parchment envelopes tied to them.

The beefy man saw Sirius eyeing the owls curiously and said, "They deliver interdepartmental messages."

Sirius's eyes darted to the man and he nodded. He supposed it made sense to use owls, as they delivered Wizard post on a regular basis, but he imagined it would get quite dirty doing it in an enclosed space like the Ministry. Perhaps the employees here would discover a better method of communicating with the other departments one day. He listened as the cool female voice sounded from above, announcing each level as they descended. When they reached level five – the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures – all of the owls left the lift. At level four, the large, beefy man nodded to Sirius and stepped off.

Now Sirius was alone in the lift, left with nothing to distract him from his furious nerves. He shouldn't be nervous; he knew he had no reason to be. He had done well in school. Professor McGonagall and Professor Hayes, before he left Hogwarts, had written him brilliant, glowing letters of recommendation, which he had tucked away in the folder under his arm. Unless he choked during the interview, he couldn't see anything that could stop him from becoming an Auror, or at least making it into the Auror Academy. Once he got in was a different story. Professor McGonagall had told him what he could expect, but he expected a firsthand account with it would make it all easier to understand.

Sirius glanced up when he heard the cool female voice from above announce, "Level two, Department for Magical Law Enforcement, including the Improper Use of Magic Office, Auror Headquarters, and Wizengamot Administration Services." The gates to the lift opened and Sirius got out just as three more owls entered, followed by a sallow faced man who snarled at Sirius as they crossed paths. Not having time to wonder why he had elicited such a response from that man, Sirius stood uncertainly outside the lifts, glancing around, wondering where he had to go now. Everyone seemed so busy that he supposed they wouldn't want to be bothered by a random eighteen year old asking for directions.

Luckily a light-haired man with black glasses approached Sirius, obviously seeing that he was lost. "Can I help you?"

Immensely grateful, Sirius nodded. "Could you tell me where I could find Alastor Moody?"

A small grin passed over the man's face, as though he found this funny. Sirius had a feeling he had no idea what he was in for. The man pointed towards the door behind the long row of cubicles just outside the lift. "Back there, knock first. Make _sure_ you knock first."

Thanking the man, Sirius headed towards the indicated door. Alastor Moody was the Head Auror, but a man named Bartemius Crouch was in charge of the whole department. Sirius wondered if he'd have to get past that man once he was done with Moody. He hoped not. One interview was enough to last him the rest of his life. As he passed the cubicles, he peered inside them. Some were decorated with pictures of the families of the employees' families. Others were covered with photographs of wanted witches and wizards, glaring down at the workers. There were also maps with red pins stuck in certain countries. Sirius assumed these were for searches for dangerous witches and wizards abroad.

When he reached the door, which had the words _Alastor Moody: Head Auror_ emblazoned in silver, he hesitated. This man's nickname was Mad Eye, who knew what that meant? But the man was Head Auror, he couldn't be entirely insane. Or maybe he could be… Either way, Sirius wouldn't find out if he stood outside the door all day. He was about to turn the knob when the words of the man he had met earlier rung in his ears. He had to _make sure_ he knocked. Sweet Merlin, would he get attacked if he _didn't? _

"Who is it?" a loud voice barked from inside.

Sirius paused. Maybe this man _was_ mental. He momentarily had a mental image of a crazed old hag standing there with his wand pointed directly at the door. "Err… Sirius Black!"

"Black?" The voice sounded angered. Bloody hell. Of course, an Auror hears the last name Black and automatically thinks – crazed, pureblood who wants to chop off House Elf heads and mount them on the walls of his home. Why on earth would a _Black_ want to be an Auror? "Right, get in!"

He was not sure whether to be relieved or terrified. He supposed he should be grateful the man was letting him in instead of sending him away. Though he supposed this was the easy part of it – getting in the door. Now he actually had to _meet_ the man who could possibly be his employer for the rest of his working career. Pushing the door open, Sirius was sure he had stepped right into a shop that stocked only Dark wizard detectors. There was a Foe Glass behind the desk in the centre of the room, blocking out the sunlight that would otherwise be coming in through the large, circular window.

There were Sneakoscopes covering every inch of the place, as well as other Dark Detectors. Sirius almost smirked when none of them went off upon his entrance. That must give Moody some idea that he was a trustworthy person. If he wasn't, there should have be a cacophony the moment he stepped inside. Speaking of Moody… Sirius glanced towards the desk, expecting to see the man sitting there, but the chair was empty. That was odd. Sirius had distinctly heard the voice coming from in this room. It was then that he felt breathing coming from behind him, yet out of the corner of his eye he could see no one.

"Invisibility Cloak?" Sirius asked shrewdly, turning around and staring at the seemingly thin air.

The Invisibility Cloak was grasped by a hand that suddenly appeared out of nowhere and was yanked away, revealing a large, intimidating man with scraggly light brown hair reaching down to his shoulders and narrowed blue eyes that looked as if they'd seen quite a bit in the man's lifetime. "Very good, Black. What tipped you off?"

"I could feel your breath and hear it," Sirius replied, a little more confident now that Moody seemed to be somewhat pleased with him.

"And _that_ is the first step to becoming a successful and skilled Auror – vigilance! _Constant_ vigilance!" Moody draped the Invisibility Cloak on the crooked hat stand to the left of the closed doorway. Sirius noticed that as the cloak swayed, the stand disappeared. "The downfall of many potential Aurors is that they don't pay attention to every little detail of their surroundings. You must be, at _all_ times, aware of what is going on around you. Otherwise," In a second, Moody had his wand out, pointing directly at Sirius's throat. "They can get you."

Sirius, who had quite visibly flinched, stood his ground, though his eyes were focused on the lethal wood pointed at him. He was beginning to see why people had labeled this man Mad Eye. He was bloody _insane_. A part of Sirius had been hoping the nickname came from some sort of deformity. It would only be too fitting if that happened to the man. It was cruel, yes, but only understandable from the man's behaviour. The man was downright terrifying.

"Sit," Moody ordered, jerking his head to one of the chairs at the desk. Sirius hastily took the indicated seat while Moody settled into his own. Moody observed Sirius through narrowed eyes. "So… what made you decide to become an Auror? Difficult career, risky, I wouldn't expect many students fresh out of Hogwarts to jump on it. Unless you have a danger complex and like being put in life-threatening situations. You know, situations where you can play the hero." Moody sat up straight and leaned forward on his desk, glaring into Sirius's eyes. "I want to make this _clear_, Black. This is not a job for those seeking glory. If you want to seek glory, you better reconsider your career path."

"I'm not seeking glory," Sirius insisted firmly, choosing to hide that he was offended by that statement. He had _never_ in his life done something just to play the hero or seek glory. That was the last thing he wanted Moody to think – that he only wanted to be an Auror because he wanted fame. That was far from the reason. He just wanted to help. It was important that Moody knew this.

"Then why are you here?" Moody's voice was dangerously quiet.

"I want to help."

"Spur of the moment, eh? Seen things getting bad and decided it was time to finally do something."

"It wasn't spur of the moment at all. I've wanted to help ever since I was fourteen!" He could clearly remember the summer before his fourth year when they had all stayed at Remus's. It wasn't long after his own father had announced that people like them would be tracked down and killed by Voldemort. He and Remus had been talking and Sirius had declared that he would do whatever it took to help make things better. This wasn't some last minute choice he'd made just because he was panicking about leaving school without an idea of what he wanted to be. He had been planning this for years. He _wanted_ to do this.

"Fourteen? That's a young age to make such a decision. Some might say you don't have enough experience to make the decision wisely."

Sirius gritted his teeth. It felt like Moody was goading him, and thoroughly enjoying it. "If you know anything about my family, you'd know that I know enough about Dark wizards to want to do something to stop them." He hadn't meant to use his family as an example, but he couldn't help himself. The Blacks were the very kinds of witches and wizards he despised the most; those who didn't give a damn about anyone else but themselves. Some weren't in the same league as Voldemort and his Death Eaters, but some were. It was then that Sirius felt a small tug in his stomach. If he became an Auror he would be tracking down his brother. He wasn't sure if he could bring himself to do that.

"And that's what I find unusual, Black." Finally, they were getting to the point. Moody didn't believe for a second that a Black could want a career like this. Who would ever believe a member of the Black Family would want to combat Dark wizards? Anyone who had been inside Number Twelve Grimmauld Place would think that a Black would up and join the Dark wizards the first chance they got. Sirius honestly couldn't blame anyone for reaching that conclusion. Moody leaned forward, his blue eyes boring into Sirius's. "Why would a Black want to help fight Death Eaters? From what I understand, your family is sympathetic with them."

"I don't call them my family. I can't even remember the last time I did and meant it." Sirius didn't care if he sounded like a petulant child by saying that, it was the truth. He hadn't called them his family since before he went to Hogwarts.

"You don't, do you? Family ties strained? Must make life difficult at home."

"I don't live with them anymore; I haven't since I was sixteen."

"And where would a sixteen year old boy go without his parents?"

"To the Potters, my best friend lives there. They took me in for a year. Now I have my own flat with a friend."

Moody sat back in his chair and continued studying Sirius, except this time it was without the disdain that Sirius swore he saw before. "Impressive."

Sirius's eyebrows rose automatically. That was the last way he expected Moody to describe his running away from home. Most would have deemed it childish. "You think that's impressive? All I did was yell at my dad and leave. I don't see what's so impressive about that."

Moody's lips curved into what Sirius supposed was supposed to be a smile. "You don't think so?" Sirius shook his head. "Well, I do. You were unhappy with your situation. You tried doing something about it?"

Sirius shrugged. "I tried. It didn't do me any good, but I tried. My family is still as mental as they were before I left." He was having trouble understanding this. He was running away from his problems. He ran from the Blacks and went to the Potters. He just wanted to be happy and he wasn't when he was living with his parents. "So you're saying running away from my problems is a good thing?" he asked incredulously.

"No, I'm not saying that," Moody insisted. "What I _am_ saying is that you were in a position to become just like them, just like your family. You could have believed all of their nonsense about purity of blood and would be going along with those Death Eaters, but you're not. Instead, you're here in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement asking me to let you become an Auror. Doesn't that say something to you, Black?"

Sirius didn't know what to say. What did it say to Moody? Did he think that Sirius liked rejection and that was why he went against his family's belief? Or did he think that Sirius's actions were commendable – that he didn't like a situation and now he was trying to right it? He opened his mouth before quickly shutting it, shrugging. "I don't know."

"You want to know what it says to me? It says that you do want to do this. The fact that you abandoned your own family's beliefs because you didn't agree with them shows me that you truly want to do this. This isn't just an adventure for glory. You _want_ to be an Auror."

Sirius couldn't help but grin. Moody didn't think he was a pretentious child, he understood that Sirius really _wanted_ to help. "I _do_ want to be an Auror."

"I believe that, Black," Moody assured him, nodding. After a few moments' hesitation, Moody then said, "Just exactly how far are you willing to go to get rid of the Death Eaters?"

* * *

"When's Sirius getting back?"

"Don't know. Maybe he isn't coming back and I'll have this place to myself."

"I'm sure he'll appreciate your sentiments."

"I was just kidding, Prongs."

James chuckled and shifted in his seat on the couch. "Right, Moony, like you're not plotting ways to make this place yours."

Remus, who was sitting in the armchair across from the couch, rolled his eyes. "Of course, James. I spend my entire day plotting the different ways for Sirius's demise. I have nothing better to do with my time. Though, according to Flourish and Blotts, I should be spending my spare time thinking of different ways to off myself."

Remus had been planning on visiting Muggle shops and applying for jobs there, but he didn't want to miss his interview with the Wizarding bookstore in case he had even the slightest chance of employment. The interview had been going well; the manager seemed truly impressed with Remus. Of course, the moment he realised they were speaking with a werewolf it all went to hell. The man told Remus he could take his business elsewhere and, while he was at it, the manager also told him several violent things he could do to himself. Understandably, he was in a very foul mood.

James got up from his seat and approached the armchair, standing in front of Remus and shaking his friend's shoulders. "Oh, come on, Moony, cheer up; don't beat yourself up about it. The guy was an idiot."

"An idiot who decided whether or not I would be employed." Remus ducked out from James's grip on his shoulders and came out facing James's back. "I'm hungry, you want anything?"

James turned around. "Sure." He knew Remus was just trying to change the subject and he let him do so.

"I'd offer you coffee," Remus began as he started towards the kitchen, "But we're out."

James blinked. "What happened to it all?"

"Sirius." James nodded, there was no other explanation needed. He could easily see Sirius drinking an entire container of coffee, leaving his roommate with none. Remus opened one of the cabinets and saw a box of biscuits. Pulling it out and pouring some out on a plate, he set it down on the kitchen table and sat down, nodding for James to do the same. "How's flat hunting going?" He knew James had spent the better part of the day looking for apartments in London before he arrived.

"Brilliantly, actually, I found a place just a block away from St. Mungo's."

Remus glanced up from the table. "You got the job, then?"

James grinned proudly. "I'm now a trainee Healer in the Creature-Induced Injuries Ward."

"Congratulations." While he knew James deserved the job, he couldn't help but feel a bit jealous. James was going to be a Healer; Sirius was going to be an Auror. Peter was already looking at property to open his shop with. What was _he_ going to be? Shaking his head, he tried ridding himself of his bitter thoughts and tried focusing on being happy for James. He was getting the chance to do what he wanted.

James clearly understood what Remus was thinking, because he then said, "Just keep looking. If worst comes to worst, apply for a job in a Muggle shop. They won't know what's going on with you and they're much more careful about asking people about their conditions than we are."

Remus nodded once. "Yeah… I'm going to check out some shops tomorrow. It'll be fine."

There was a crack signaling the return of Sirius. Without wasting a moment, he hurried into the kitchen, an urgent and excited look on his face.

"You got in, I assume?" James asked, grinning.

"Yeah, I did," Sirius said, slightly breathlessly. "Moody was impressed."

"_Alastor_ Moody?" Remus said, visibly surprised.

"Of course, how many guys named Moody do you know? But that isn't what I wanted to tell you. Have either of you ever heard of the Order of the Phoenix?"

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Seventy Two: The Order of the Phoenix**_

"Have you spoken to Dumbledore about this?" Remus asked. He wanted to fight just as much, but this was so sudden. They'd barely just gotten out of school. But they'd said once they were done with school… once they were done they would fight. The time had come, apparently.

Sirius shook his head. "Not yet. I came straight here after the interview."

"Maybe we should talk to Dumbledore first?"

"Oh, we'll be talking to him. Moody wants us all to meet him at the Hogs Head tomorrow."

"All of us?" James repeated.

"Yes, you, me, Remus, Peter. All of us. And Lily, if you think she would want to do it."

Remus blinked. "You haven't spoken to Peter yet, remember? And you haven't spoken to Lily yet, either."


	72. The Order of the Phoenix

Chapter Seventy Two  
The Order of the Phoenix

"The Order of the Phoenix?"

"Yes. It's a secret society run by Dumbledore."

"Well… what do they _do?_"

"They fight Voldemort."

Sirius was now pacing back and forth in front of the kitchen table, where two highly perplexed looking James and Remus were sitting, watching their friend and wondering what had gotten into him. They had just expected Sirius to come home and happily announce that he was going to begin his Auror training. They did _not_ expect him to come home and announce he was thinking of joining a resistance group against Voldemort. Sirius always talked about fighting against Voldemort and his Death Eaters, but they hadn't expected him to find a way to do it so quickly.

Then again, when Sirius Black wanted something, he usually got it.

"So… what did Moody tell you about them?" James asked cautiously. Moody was brilliant, according to James's father, but also bloody mental. He had a feeling they had to be careful where this Auror was concerned.

Sirius ceased pacing and rounded on James and Remus. "He said that they're a small group, they need more people. Moody said they're so outnumbered that if the Death Eaters keep growing, they'll be in more trouble than they are now. And the Order isn't gaining members, they're losing some. Some of the people who've been helping them fight are too old now… some are gone."

The way Sirius had said that made something click in Remus's mind. Narrowing his eyes dubiously, he studied his roommate before asking, "What do you mean – some are too old or gone? You're not saying…?"

Sirius instantly understood what Remus was getting at. "Your dads and Mr. Pettigrew were helping."

James's eyes widened. Their _fathers_ had been a part of all this? "You mean they were part of the Order of the Phoenix? We always knew they were doing something to fight against Voldemort, but… D'you think that's the reason they killed Mr. Pettigrew?"

Sirius did not hesitate to nod. He completely believed that this was a reason that Peter's father had been murdered. If that was the case, Mr. Potter and Mr. Lupin were in danger too, but he didn't bother to mention it. He was sure James and Remus would make the connection. Besides, James and Remus's fathers had gotten out of it, according to Moody. They would offer information occasionally, but they were no longer as active as they were. "That makes me want to help the Order even more. Mr. Pettigrew didn't deserve what he got and I want to make them pay for it."

"Have you spoken to Dumbledore about this?" Remus asked. He wanted to fight just as much, but this was so _sudden_. They'd barely just gotten out of school and suddenly they were going to fight possibly the darkest wizard to ever live. But it wasn't as spur of the moment as it seemed and Remus knew this. They'd said once they were done with school… once they were done they would fight. The time had come, apparently.

Sirius shook his head. "Not yet. I came straight here after the interview to see what you guys thought about it."

"Maybe we should talk to Dumbledore first?"

"Oh, we'll be talking to him. Moody wants us all to meet Dumbledore at the Hogs Head tomorrow."

"_All_ of us?" James repeated.

"Yes, you, me, Remus, Peter. _All_ of us. And Lily, if you think she would want to do it. I happened to mention that you were all anti-Voldemort as well."

Remus blinked. Merlin, this was moving fast and Sirius had certainly covered a lot of ground. "You haven't _spoken_ to Peter yet, remember? And you haven't spoken to Lily yet, either."

"Peter said he would fight, remember? And I'm sure Lily would if she was given the chance. Besides, nothing is more frightening than a furious Lily Evans with a wand."

Sirius seemed so adamant on that fact that Remus chose not to point out that Peter hadn't been himself at all lately. They couldn't take everything he said at face value. For all they knew, Peter had agreed for the sole purpose of shutting Sirius up. Merlin knew they all did this at one point in their lives, maybe more. But with Peter… maybe they had to learn how to read between the lines, really make sure they knew what he was thinking. "Just… just make sure you talk to him about it first, alright?" He did not bother to add talking to Lily because, if he was honest with himself, he was sure she would have no problem with it. Lily had always been very against the doings of Voldemort and his Death Eaters.

"Sure, Moony." Of course Sirius would talk to Peter first. What kind of friend would he be if he didn't? But Peter had said he would fight. Why did Remus not believe that Peter was telling the truth? Peter would say yes. He had to. Was he honestly going to let those maniacs that killed his father get away with it? If Sirius was in Peter's position, with Mr. Pettigrew as his father, he wouldn't let that happen.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Sirius?" James asked, watching his friend closely. Lately Sirius hadn't been the type for thrill seeking, but that had been part of his personality in the past. Who was to say it hadn't come to surface again? James wanted to make sure this was what his best friend wanted.

"_Yes_, James. Merlin, I've been talking about doing something since I was fourteen. This wasn't just some spur of the moment decision. You know me better than that." Why did no one believe that?

"I know… It's just, I didn't expect there was something like that out there."

Sirius threw himself into the empty chair beside James. "Well there is and we have the opportunity to help them. I'm not about to pass that up. Tomorrow we have to meet Dumbledore at the Hog's Head. Could you tell Peter and Lily about this?" James nodded. He would stop by both of their places on his way home. "Good. Moody said it's not something we have to do, but since we all know, we have to keep quiet about it."

"I think the only one that statement needs to be thrown at is you," Remus commented dryly, taking a bite of his biscuit.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Thanks, Moony."

* * *

They couldn't believe they were doing this. James, Sirius, Remus, Peter and Lily stood outside the grimy pub they had ventured into only once in their entire lives. Well, the boys had, anyway. They weren't sure if Lily frequented dank, dodgy pubs. The last time the boys had been there was in their fifth year and they hadn't liked the place the moment they stepped foot into it. The only reason they had entered it in the first place was because it was cold and rainy and they were certain the Three Broomsticks would be filled to the bursting point. Why couldn't Dumbledore have asked them to meet him there? Their first and only visit to the Hog's Head was also marred with the appearance of Severus Snape and his cronies who took the utmost delight in hexing them.

Luckily the boys had gotten their revenge when Remus docked thirty points from Slytherin.

But they still didn't want to meet the Headmaster here, of all places. There had to be a reason why Dumbledore would ask them to meet him here. Perhaps Dumbledore wanted to meet someplace off the beaten path. But why would he pick a place where shoddy characters were known to meet? The whole point of their meeting was to help take down a lot of shoddy characters. Then again, this would be the perfect place to meet if it was looked at from a certain way. This would be the last place anyone would expect a group like the Order of the Phoenix to meet. No one would think a group of wizard and witch do-gooders would discuss anything in a place like the Hog's Head.

Deciding that they weren't doing anything useful standing outside, they entered the grimy pub.

After speaking to the man behind the bar, who looked extraordinarily familiar, the four boys and Lily made their way upstairs towards a private parlor. Pushing the door open, they were met with Albus Dumbledore, who was reading a large, leather-bound book, looking as though he had all the time in the world. At the sound of the door opening, Dumbledore looked up and shut the book. "Ah, come, sit down." He waved his wand and three chairs slid across the wooden floor to the table and he drew up two more chairs for James and Lily, who were left without one. The former students couldn't help but notice that Dumbledore did not have the usual twinkle in his eyes nor did he have the friendly smile.

Still, when he next spoke his voice was pleasant. "How are you four enjoying life after school?"

The five exchanged glances, knowing that Dumbledore was truly interested in how they were faring, but they had been out of school for less than a week. There really wasn't much to report.

"I'm starting my training at St. Mungo's tomorrow," James offered, deciding someone might as well say something.

Dumbledore smiled. "Yes, Hippocrates told me." James opened his mouth for a moment, and then shut it. It should not surprise him that Dumbledore knew Hippocrates Smethwyk. "He has high hopes for you."

James grinned, though inwardly he was wondering if he would meet those high hopes. It seemed that everyone assumed because he was the son of Charles Potter he would be a brilliant Healer. He hoped he would be, but he wasn't going to automatically assume. He had to work for it.

"Alastor has already told me you also begin your training, Sirius," Dumbledore continued, diverting his attention to the oldest Black child, who nodded in confirmation. "And you, Remus, how are you faring?"

Remus shifted in his seat, recalling the very bitter conversation he had had with James the previous day about his job hunt. "I'm still looking around," he settled for saying. Dumbledore seemed to understand instantly and instead of further probing, he asked Peter how his mother was doing. Though Peter said his mother was doing well, the others severely doubted it. She had still looked utterly distraught when they had seen her at Platform Nine and Three Quarters. Maybe there was a real reason Peter was staying home.

"Now then," Dumbledore said finally after asking Lily if she was pursuing her career as a writer at the _Daily Prophet_, "I trust the five of you know what you are about to get yourselves into. Are you sure you wish to do this?"

"Of course," they all said, four more firmly than the fifth.

"You understand that this society is operating secretly? For years now there have been a sparse group of fighters trying to stop any dangerous activity they see. I know you did not fail to make the connections between the many deaths and disappearances that have occurred since you started at Hogwarts. We have been trying to prevent any more from happening. It is only recently, with the escalation of attacks, that we have hurriedly come together to form the Order of the Phoenix. We are sorely outnumbered, we believe, and the addition of five young wizards and witch such as yourselves, especially five as talented as you are, will be beneficial."

"Were our dads part of this?" James asked, gesturing to himself, Peter and Remus.

"They would help out when they could but, as it was at the time, they each had young boys of their own to look after and could not fully commit themselves to the cause. This is not something you can lightly consider. The Order fights some of the most dangerous wizards and the risks involved are unimaginable. I would never ask you to do this if you were uncertain of yourselves. You must be _certain_ that you want to fight."

"We do, Professor," Sirius insisted forcefully. He knew Dumbledore's concern was well placed, but there was no need for concern. Sirius knew he spoke for all of them when he insisted that they wanted to fight. They knew the dangers; they could imagine what was in store for them. But they _wanted_ to do this. "Honestly, we wouldn't have come here if we didn't want to do this. Please, just tell us what we need to know."

Dumbledore nodded, a pleased, yet still hesitant, smile crossing his lips for a quick moment, and he glanced towards the door. "I want you five to meet me tomorrow at six in the evening."

"Meet you where?"

"Meet me in this very same room and we will Apparate to the appropriate place. You will find out everything else tomorrow. I will see you then."

* * *

Dumbledore took five trips to get each of them to the mysterious meeting place of the Order of the Phoenix, as he could not give them the exact location for fear of others somehow overhearing. When they each recovered from the Apparition, they were startled to find themselves on the shadowed porch of a house in London. Once they appeared, there was a quiet bark from behind them and they were almost instantly pulled inside. Upon recovering from the shock of being pulled into a strange house, they were able to see that it was a man, whom Sirius alone recognised as Alastor Moody. He led them into a living room where there was a group of about ten or so waiting for them.

Once Dumbledore entered with Peter, the dull murmur that had filled the room disappeared and they waited expectantly for the Hogwarts Headmaster to say something, perhaps explain why they had been called her today. Peter ducked around the back of Dumbledore and joined Remus, Lily, James and Sirius, who were hovering to the side, unsure of what to do.

"Thank you all for agreeing to meet on such short notice," Dumbledore told the group. There were some murmurs of consent that it wasn't any trouble, otherwise short nods. "This is James Potter, Lily Evans, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. I believe some of you may know their fathers?"

Again there were some nods and a few sad frowns from those who were clearly thinking of Mr. Pettigrew's fate.

"These young men and woman also have the desire to stop Voldemort. They have proven their point to me personally. Their determination is undeniable. Alastor and I feel that they would be extraordinarily helpful. I, myself, have seen them grow through school and their different talents can only benefit us."

The boys and Lily saw there were some sceptical looks on the faces of the Order's members. They had no doubt that some were taking in Remus's sickly appearance, chubby, uncertain Peter and the fact that Sirius was a Black. They should have known there would be some reservations from the group. Hopefully that would change. Dumbledore seemed to have noticed this as well, as his expression grew reproachful and the group averted their eyes back to the Headmaster. "They were at the top of their class in Hogwarts and have such a loyalty to each other that I'm sure would extend to the Order."

"Are you so sure of that, Albus?" barked a man that the boys had not noticed at first, though now that he had spoken, they saw he bore a striking resemblance to Dumbledore. They had never before known that Dumbledore had a brother. Yet, now that they looked at him, they recognised him as the bartender at the Hog's Head.

"Yes, I am sure of that, Aberforth," Dumbledore responded calmly, though his eyes suggested that he did not want his instincts questioned. "Perhaps we should take this time to talk it over."

The members of the Order broke into smaller groups, whispering quietly to each other while the boys, Dumbledore and Moody stood to the side. After a moment, Moody approached one of the groups and, in a voice that carried, claimed that he had faith in at least the one he had met – Sirius. He didn't know about the others, understandably.

With a slow look around the room, Remus turned his attention to his former headmaster. He had a question that couldn't wait. "Err… Professor Dumbledore?"

"Yes, Remus?"

"I… If they don't mind us being in the Order, what am I going to do about my… my condition?" He didn't know any of these people and the thought of them knowing that he was a werewolf was an unsettling one. It had taken him a long time to feel comfortable with his best friends knowing about it, and even longer to tell Lily about it. The members of the Order would have to know eventually and Remus had no idea of where their prejudices lay. He didn't know if he could handle so many people knowing at once and possibly hating him because of it.

Dumbledore nodded understandingly. "We will have to tell them. Trust me, Remus, I have worked with each one of these people personally and know their prejudices are not heavy."

Remus noticed Dumbledore did not say their prejudices were nonexistent, just that they weren't so bad. He supposed he should be relieved by that, but he wasn't. He already had to deal with those prejudices every time he went looking for a job. But he wasn't about to admit that to Dumbledore, so he simply nodded and rejoined his friends. Perhaps Dumbledore was right and these people would be able to look past the fact that they had a werewolf in their midst. But weren't werewolves what Voldemort was looking for to help him? Sweet Merlin, this wasn't going to be easy.

"They don't seem to be taking to us so well," Sirius muttered out of the corner of his mouth to James, watching as one of the women cast an uncertain gaze in their direction before noticing that Sirius's eye was on her and averted her gaze.

"You can't blame them, can you?" James said fairly. He hadn't expected them to be taken to so easily. "They've been working together for a while now and here we come, ready to just join them straight out of Hogwarts? We're just lucky we have Dumbledore vouching for us, otherwise I doubt they'd want us at all."

"Shouldn't they be happy for the help?" Lily asked quietly. If it had been her, she would be grateful for more help. They were fighting Voldemort; they needed all the help they could get. "They must be so outnumbered."

"I don't think five new members will do anything to even out the sides," Remus muttered doubtfully.

"Look, we can't change what they think about us, but I think in the end it's what Dumbledore and Moody say that matters, and Moody already wants Sirius in. That should say something," James concluded.

After a moment or two, an older, dark-haired witch with a kind face broke away from those she was speaking with and approached the group. She offered them a warm smile before addressing James. "Your Charles Potter's son?" she asked curiously.

"Yes," James replied uncertainly.

She studied him through narrowed eyes before concluding with a small grin, "You look exactly like him."

James couldn't help but chuckle. He was often told that he was a younger replica of his father, yet looked almost nothing like his mother, except for their eyes. James had his mother's eyes. "I know… I've been told that all my life."

"I hope you're as talented as he is." The woman then turned her attention to Remus, who wondered if he was about to be compared to his father. Much to his surprise, though not relief, he wasn't. "Well, you're a tiny little thing, aren't you?"

Remus's cheeks reddened. He would rather be compared to his father than be labeled a 'tiny little thing.' He was very aware of his short, skinny stature; he had a certain vicious werewolf to thank for his stunted growth. "Err…"

"But Harry told me you're brilliant, very talented. Besides, size is no indication of power. Look at Benjy." The woman nodded towards a straw-haired man who was only a little taller than Remus. Benjy was conversing with Aberforth Dumbledore, oblivious to the fact that he was being watched. "You will never want to be on the receiving end of one of his hexes… last thing I expect you'll ever do."

"I'll keep that in mind," Remus said quietly, averting his eyes from the man.

The woman laughed good-naturedly and her eyes swiveled to Peter, who wondered what she was about to say about him – _you're chubbier than I expected_. Merlin he hoped it wasn't anything like that. She had already called Remus tiny, who was to say she wouldn't comment on _his_ size now? "I'm terribly sorry about what happened to your father. He was a very good man."

This surprised Peter, though it was not unappreciated. "Thank you," he said to the woman. He waited for her to say something else, but she then turned her attention to Sirius, who glanced uncertainly at James.

"A Black who wants to fight Death Eaters," she said, slowly shaking her head and sounding thoroughly amazed. "I never thought I'd see the day."

"Well, you've seen it now," Sirius said through gritted teeth. Honestly, he was not going to be constantly compared to his family.

The woman chuckled, which set Sirius at ease somewhat. "Don't worry; I never said it was a bad thing. It's a nice thing to see, in fact. You weren't taken in by what your family believes, proves you can think for yourself." There was only one person left in there group that the woman hadn't spoken to and Lily couldn't help but wonder what the woman would think of to say to her. "Evans… I'm not familiar with that name."

"I'm a Muggle-born," Lily explained.

The woman nodded knowingly. "Well, I'm afraid I've forgotten my own manners. We all know who you five are, but you don't know who we are. My name is Dorcas Meadows." She shook hands with the five before retreating to speak with the man she had pointed out before, Benjy.

"That was… strange," Sirius commented, looking at the back of Dorcas's head in amazement. He couldn't necessarily say she was mean, just very straightforward. At least she didn't seem to loathe him because he was a Black. She seemed impressed by it actually, because he was proving that he wasn't like the rest of his family.

"Definitely," James agreed wholeheartedly. "But she seemed nice… I suppose. What do you think the rest of them think about us?"

"I hope none of them think I'm a 'tiny little thing,'" Remus muttered, slightly stung by the comment, even though Dorcas had clearly said size was no indication of power. He was just going to have to work hard to make that known.

"Aww, but you _are!_" Sirius simpered, pinching Remus's cheek, only for his hand to be swatted away.

"Knock it off, Sirius."

"Can we all be serious for a moment, please?" Lily abruptly begged. The room, which had been filled with the buzz of chatter, was suddenly starting to quiet down. That could only mean one thing – the Order had come to some sort of conclusion.

"Well, we've decided on something, Albus," one of the members – a light-haired witch who looked only a little older than the boys and Lily did – said.

"Yes, Marlene?" Dumbledore asked politely.

"We're interested in seeing what this group can do. If they're as talented as you claim they are, they're going to need to prove it to us."

"How do we do that?" Sirius asked before glancing hurriedly at Dumbledore and Moody, wondering if he should have spoken. Dumbledore's attention, however, was focused on the members of the Order.

Marlene addressed Sirius and his friends when she spoke. "You will have to join us on our next mission, prove to us that the loyalty you have to each other will _really_ extend to us. Show us the talent and brilliance you're said to possess."

"So once we do that, we'll be part of the Order?"

Marlene shook her head. "You already _are_. Alastor and Albus have the final say and, as it is, they made it before you entered this house. What we want to see is how _useful_ you'll be."

"We will be useful," Sirius declared firmly.

"Ah, but we need to see for ourselves. As I said, Albus and Alastor have the final say." Marlene took a step back and a man beside her with bright red hair whispered something to her.

The boys and Lily looked to Dumbledore and Moody, both of whom were talking quietly to each other, seemingly making painfully sure that they wouldn't be heard by the others. They weren't so sure they would have the complete backing of Moody. Moody had only ever spoken to Sirius and that had not been a long conversation in itself. He knew nothing of the others, except what Dumbledore may or may not have told him. But Dumbledore appeared to have faith in them. Despite how many times they had been in trouble at school, how many points they had collectively lost for their house, he seemed to have faith in them. They didn't know why.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Moody cleared his throat. "I admit, I only know about Sirius and of the others, I only know what Dumbledore has told me."

"And what I told you is entirely the truth. I have watched these five go from eleven year olds just starting out to adults ready to face what is coming. They have faced adversity, some more than you will ever know and it has only made them closer. They may not have always liked each other, but the fact of the matter is that I have faith in them. They will be assets to the Order. You will be able to do as you wish," he added, nodding to Marlene. "You will test them the next opportunity you have, but I will not change in my resolve. They have the talent, they have the courage and most of all, they _want_ to do this."

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Seventy Three: Prove Your Worth**_

"Sirius, he's my boss and he's been on my case all day. That's just what I need, to leave before I finish my work. He'd cut my pay in half if I did that."

"Remus, you get out late enough as it is. When seven o' clock rolls around, you're leaving, alright? You're sick and you need to get home before your boss regrets not letting you leave at the right time." He noticed Remus flinch at the mention of his boss regretting not letting him leave. "I didn't mean it like that, mate. But you know I'm right. Do you want me to help you with this so it gets done?"

Under normal circumstances, Remus would have said no. All he needed was for Mr. Foster to see his friend doing his work. But these weren't normal circumstances and he really did need to get home before the full moon came out. He nodded. "If you see my boss, stop doing anything. I don't want to hear him."


	73. Prove Your Worth

Chapter Seventy Three  
Prove Your Worth 

Sweet Merlin, did Remus have a splitting headache. It wasn't enough that the full moon was that night and it would be the first time in his life that he did not transform either at home or at school. That just couldn't be enough to make him ill. No, there had to be about a dozen irate customers barging into the shop at twenty minute intervals, all impatiently demanding service at that very instant. Remus could swear that the people had this planned because he didn't understand how such angry people could come into the bookstore on the same day, ranting that they did not receive the correct books. Not that he didn't believe they wanted to read, but how could they get so mad at _him_ because _they_ had picked the wrong book? Remus had only rung up their purchases; it wasn't as though he could mentally tell what they wanted. He hadn't taken Divination for a reason.

His boss, Mr. Foster, was furious as well. A shipment of books written by a man named C.S. Lewis were due in today, by popular demand from a local primary school, and they had gotten lost somewhere in the storage room. That, of course, was Remus's fault as well. Remus should have handpicked the exact spot the delivery man placed the box, which was clearly labeled so Remus didn't understand why his boss couldn't find it. He was sure the shipment was in the storage room and the man just wasn't looking hard enough. The boxes were quite large, so Remus didn't understand how Mr. Foster couldn't find them.

"Lupin!" barked an angry voice from behind the check-out counter.

"Yes, sir?" Remus replied wearily after flinching violently at the man's raised voice. He was in no mood to deal with his boss. Merlin, he just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep for the rest of his life.

"I've just looked again and I don't see them." Mr. Foster, a middle-aged man with coal black hair and a bushy moustache marched at him, a furious expression on his face.

Remus inhaled deeply, willing himself to remain calm. This annoying, infuriating man was in charge of his paycheck, he couldn't lose his temper. "Sir, the man put the boxes right when you walk into the storage room. I doubt they walked away on their own. They should be there." He was so close to losing his temper, it wasn't funny. He was sick, he was tired; he just wanted to go home.

"I've looked ten times, I have not found them."

_Obviously you're not looking hard enough_, Remus thought bitterly to himself, his hands clenching on the counter. Unfortunately, he couldn't say that out loud. He was lucky to have this position at all. Mr. Foster hadn't taken well to an applicant who couldn't even pronounce the name of his school. (Remus had made up a fancy, foreign-sounding school. He couldn't very well say he attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry). "Would you like me to go look for them?"

"That's what I'm paying you for, isn't it?"

Remus bit back the retort he so wanted to utter and disappeared into the back room. When he returned, he was staggering under the weight of two heavy boxes. Dear Merlin, this was not good for him. He almost laughed as he imagined the look on his mother's face if she saw him straining himself on the day of a full moon. But he couldn't show any of this to his boss… He couldn't raise suspicions. The man may be a Muggle, but there were dozens of other reasons Remus could be ill to a Muggle.

"They were precisely where I said they were," he commented airily, in a tone that suggested he didn't care when he really did.

Mr. Foster looked neither thrilled nor relieved by this. "Good, could you go shelve them now?"

Remus breathed out slowly through his clenched teeth. "I would love nothing more."

He had to get out of here. He checked his watch and saw he still had another hour to go before he was let off and he was certain he couldn't make it. He was also certain that Mr. Foster wouldn't let him go until all of the books were placed on the shelves. This would have been done a long time ago if the man had learned how to use his eyes. No one knew how close Remus was to banging his head repeatedly against the shelves in the vain hope that maybe he would get to go home if he did it enough. Unfortunately, he would have no such luck.

"Excuse me, sir, do you happen to have the book 'Little Sammy Ate His Mummy'?"

Sweet, sweet Merlin, who the bloody hell was this person asking for that ridiculous book that Remus was sure didn't exist? "What?" he snapped, whipping around to see that it was Sirius standing behind him with a wide smirk on his face.

"You don't want to talk to customers like that, Remus. It's bad for business." Sirius's grin turned into a frown when he saw the exhausted look on his friend's face. He quickly grew serious. "Aren't you getting off soon? You really should come home."

"Unless you've come to spring me, please don't mention home until I can actually leave." He slid another book into its place on the shelf and went to get another, only to see that Sirius was one step ahead of him. "Thanks," he said as he placed it beside the first book. "And I can't leave until I finish this." He nodded at the two boxes that he needed to shelve. He was going to be here for the rest of his life.

Sirius suddenly turned stern. There was no way he was letting Remus stay here past the end of his shift. Not only was it bad for him, it was bad for everyone involved. "No, you're leaving when you're supposed to leave."

"Sirius, he's my boss and he's been on my case all day. That's just what I need, to leave before I finish my work. He'd cut my pay in half if I did that."

"Remus, you get out late enough as it is. When seven o' clock rolls around, you're leaving, alright? You're sick and you need to get home before your boss regrets not letting you leave at the right time." He noticed Remus flinch at the mention of his boss regretting not letting him leave. "I didn't mean it like that, mate. But you know I'm right. Do you want me to help you with this so it gets done?"

Under normal circumstances, Remus would have said no. All he needed was for Mr. Foster to see his friend doing his work. But these weren't normal circumstances and he really did need to get home before the full moon came out. He nodded. "If you see my boss, stop doing anything. I don't want to hear him."

"Of course," Sirius said cheerfully, grabbing a stack of the books and placing them in their appropriate places. With Sirius there, they finished in half the time then they would have if Remus had been doing it on his own.

Just as Remus was placing the last book onto the shelf, there was the sound of an irritated throat clearing. "Are you finished yet?"

Remus looked around to see Mr. Foster watching him expectantly. "Yes, sir."

"Hullo, Mr. Foster!" Sirius said in that same cheerful voice. He had come into work several times since Remus had started working in the store and Mr. Foster expected to see him now when closing time came.

"Sirius," Mr. Foster replied coolly. He returned his attention to his employee. "I suppose you'll be going then?"

"Unless you need me to do anything-"

"He's leaving," Sirius cut in quickly, shooting Remus a warning look. If Remus gave Mr. Foster an inch, he would take that, not to mention a few more.

Remus shot Sirius an irritated glance, but nodded. "I'm really not feeling well, sir," he admitted.

Mr. Foster inspected him for a moment before consenting. "Good, go and get some sleep. I expect to see you in the morning."

"I'll see how I'm feeling," Remus replied calmly before turning with Sirius and leaving. There was no bloody way he was coming to work tomorrow.

* * *

It was late in the morning when Remus's weary eyes opened. He half expected to see the familiar decrepit ceiling of the Shrieking Shack above him or else the clean wooden ceiling of his bedroom at his parents' house. What he saw instead was the white ceiling of his bedroom in Sirius's flat. For a moment, he wondered why he would be there and not at home or at school. Then he remembered that this was where he lived. Madam Pomfrey wasn't going to come to bring him back to the Hospital Wing anymore and his mother wouldn't be appearing any time soon. Well… maybe _she_ would. He wouldn't be surprised if she burst down the front door and ran over Sirius to check on him.

She could be rather pushy when she wanted to be.

It was then that he wondered how he ended up in his bed in the first place. The night before he and Sirius had gone to the woods and that was the last thing he remembered. If he expected to wake up anywhere, it would have been in those woods. Did Sirius honestly drag him back here? Well, he could have Apparated, considering what time it was and if their landlady was around or awake. Remus tried to sit up, but slumped back against his pillow when he felt a searing pain in his lower back. No, there was no way he was going to work today. Mr. Foster had seen him the night before; he could barely stand up on his own.

Remus glanced up when there was a knock on the door. Sirius was standing in the open doorway, a box of cereal in his hand, idly taking a handful and munching on it. "'Ow are 'oo feelin'?" Swallowing with great difficulty, he repeated himself, "Sorry. How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Remus replied, choosing to ignore the doubtful look on his friend's face. "Just tired…"

"Oh, you, err, you kind of fell last night, on your back, so if that's hurting, that'd be why." Sirius shook the box he was holding, peering through the cardboard flaps to see how much cereal was left. Taking out another handful, he chewed thoughtfully on it before grimacing. "Your lovely boss called, by the way."

Judging from the way Sirius said it, his boss was not in a good mood. Well, that was the surprise of the century. "What did he want?" As if Remus didn't already know.

"Wanted to know, and I'm going to directly quote this, 'where the bloody hell Lupin is'. He really is a very nice man and his wife hasn't divorced him yet?"

Remus chuckled and rolled his eyes, choosing not to answer Sirius's last question. "Did you tell him I was busy prancing around the forest in wolf form last night, so I'm too tired to go in today?"

Sirius laughed. "Yes, I did. He wasn't pleased." Tossing another handful of cereal into his mouth, he chewed slowly on it before swallowing and adding, "Seriously, mate, that man has it in for you. I think if he had it his way, you'd be hanging by your toes in the stockroom for not coming in." There was a sudden knock at the door and Sirius excused himself to see who it was. Remus could hear Sirius's laughs as he greeted the caller. "Remus, you have a visitor!"

Remus rolled his eyes. He should have known his mother would show up eventually.

* * *

"I guess this is what they meant when they said we have to prove ourselves," Sirius muttered grimly as he hid behind a decrepit building in Knockturn Alley with James, Remus, Peter and Lily, all of whom nodded. Several members of the Order of the Phoenix were across the street, peering out from behind another building, though they made sure to avoid contact with the new recruits. That was important – to pretend they didn't know each other. This group included Benjy Fenwick, Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadows and Elphias Doge. They had been called here to Knockturn Alley due to suspected Death Eater activity, yet they had seen nothing to indicate that there was any yet.

"We have to stand behind a building all day?" Peter said bitterly under his breath. He didn't want to stand here all day. If he had to do this, he would like to actually _do_ something. He didn't _want_ to do this at all, but how would he ever explain that to his friends? So he went along with this ridiculous plan.

"What was that, Wormtail?" James asked curiously, not having heard him properly.

"Nothing, Prongs."

"Where did you four get those nicknames?" Lily asked suddenly, glancing from Peter to James, or from Wormtail to Prongs. She had heard them use those names multiple times before and the only one that made any sense to her was Remus's. They called him Moony and she knew why they did. He was a werewolf, for Merlin's sake.

"Now is not the time to go into that, Lily," James assured her quickly, lightly squeezing her shoulder. The last thing they needed right now was to explain to Lily that their nicknames came from their Animagi forms. She would either be too amazed to focus on their task at hand or she would flat out murder him, Sirius and Peter for performing illegal magical activity. He watched the dark street intently, looking for any sign that there would be trouble. This was Knockturn Alley, though, there was _always_ trouble occurring somewhere. Now they just had to distinguish the typical trouble from the Death Eater trouble. "Come on, guys," he said lowly as he saw Dorcas signal to return to Diagon Alley. She pulled at her left earlobe, a simple, unassuming sign that they had agreed on before they left earlier.

They travelled in separate groups, so as to not look suspicious. It would look odd if a group of nine people were walking together in Knockturn Alley of all places. That was basically begging to be hexed, or killed, two things they were sorely trying to avoid. They pulled the hoods of their cloaks over their heads and walked as inconspicuously down the alley as they could. Their heads were down, some bent towards another as if they were in conversation. It was going well for a while. No one paid them any attention, which was exactly how they wanted it. It was only when they reached Diagon Alley where things went horribly wrong.

It started with a shout from Marlene. The group, upon hearing this, whirled around to see someone had grabbed her around the neck, refusing to let go. It was a man wearing a mask, preventing any from seeing his identity. Benjy, Dorcas and Elphias all had their wands out as once and, only seconds later, so did James, Sirius, Remus, Peter and Lily, completely forgetting that they were supposed to pretend they weren't with the group Marlene had been in. The man who had grabbed Marlene laughed cruelly at this as several masked figures joined him, all with their own wands drawn and looking far more dangerous.

"Yes," Sirius hissed under his breath, tightening his grip on his wand. "This is _definitely_ where we prove ourselves."

The first Death Eater shot a spell at Dorcas, who expertly sent it back to the man and he shouted as some short of shock coursed through him. The woman looked unassuming, but she could send a powerful spell. The Death Eater who had his grip on Marlene kept his wand at her throat, as if he was daring anyone to hex him. As tempting as the thought was to cause the man physical pain, it couldn't be risked for fear of hurting Marlene, or much worse. But the Death Eater didn't seem intent on letting her go and so they would have to work around this. If they couldn't directly attack him, they would have to find some other way of freeing Marlene, without hurting her in the process.

The boys and Lily stood frozen, their wands extended, but unsure of what to do. This was where they had to prove that it hadn't been a mistake to allow them into the Order and yet they couldn't think of what to do. Dumbledore had vouched for them, had said they were the most talented students he had seen in a long time, and yet they were failing him. They couldn't even think of a single hexed because they were, to be honest, scared. The others had already sent hexes towards the Death Eaters, fully aware of what they had to do to get out of this and save Marlene. It was only when a narrow jet of red light grazed Remus's shoulder, tearing the sleeve of his robes but leaving no sign of harm, that they snapped into it.

"Get them from behind," James said suddenly.

"What?" Peter asked, his wand arm shaking ever so slightly, though the others did not notice this. What the bloody hell was James talking about? Who was he trying to get from behind?

"If we get the guy from behind, there's less of a chance we'll hit Marlene and he won't see us coming. If he doesn't see us coming, he can't hurt her because of that. That's what's important right now, isn't it? Making sure Marlene doesn't get hurt."

"Yeah, but aren't they're going to notice five people coming at him from behind?" Peter countered, nodding at the Death Eaters. If James thought that was going to work, Peter failed to see how he'd done so well in school. His plan was mental and James should know that.

James, however, had a plan for that, as well. "Which is why we _distract_ the others so one of us can get to the one we need to hit." He eyed the Death Eaters warily; they were not wasting their time attacking Benjy, Dorcas and Elphias. But their fellow Order members were putting up a good fight. They still needed assistance. "Remus, go and help out Benjy. Lily, Peter, go with Dorcas. Sirius, help out Elphias."

"You're going to get the one with Marlene?" Sirius asked, eyeing the Death Eater who, though they could not see his face, seemed to be enjoying his moment. The way his head was moving slowly, it appeared that he was surveying the fight.

"I'm going to do whatever I can to help," James replied simply, waiting for his friends to disperse and help fight the Death Eaters. They didn't hesitate to join the others. The numbers may be uneven, but the Order had been caught unawares. They had every right to outnumber the Death Eaters for once. Numbers didn't matter right now anyway, just who got out of this with all their body parts intact. James drifted into the background as his friends helped the rest of the Order, waiting for the Death Eaters to be thoroughly distracted before he attempted anything to get the Death Eater with Marlene.

It would be all he needed – for a Death Eater to go after him because he'd been spotted trying to attack him from behind.

The chaos that had been started was bringing up curious shoppers from both Diagon and Knockturn Alley – something the Order did not need nor want. They couldn't risk having a group of innocent bystanders get hurt, or worse, because of their own curiosity and wayward spells. There were shouts for the bystanders to leave and only after a bright green jet of light narrowly missed a woman and her son did the shoppers take heed and disperse. With the crowd gone, the hexes seemed to get worse.

"Is this what it's always like?" Remus asked Benjy before whipping his wand from the left to right, deflecting a spell sent his way.

"A bit," Benjy replied before shooting a jet of blue light towards the masked figure they were fighting and ducking as a wayward spell shot from the Death Eater Lily and Peter were fighting was sent their way. "This is actually rather tame."

Remus had to force his mouth from dropping open. If this was tame, he didn't want to know what a wild fight would be like.

Knockturn Alley was filled with the sounds of bangs and bright, shining lights illuminating the usually darkened alleyway as the battle continued. James was intent on reaching his target, but had to fend off some Death Eaters who had noticed he was having it far too easy. But he finally was able to reach his target and, for once proud of his skill at casting silent spells, thought firmly _Stupefy_ and the Death Eater with his arm in a choke-hold around Marlene's neck collapsed to the ground. James instantly ran forward and helped free her from under the man's limp body.

"Are you alright?" James asked, his eyes scanning the woman for any injury he might not have seen done.

"Yes, I'm fine," she replied, taking James's offered hand and getting to her feet. With a determined grin, she added, "Let's help the others get rid of these menaces, shall we?"

* * *

"I feel like someone did a dance on my back."

"Well, you could've taken down the Death Eater without bringing him down with you, Sirius."

"But that wouldn't have been any fun, James!"

"But its loads of fun having a man who was easily over two hundred pounds land on your back? I'm surprised he didn't break your spine in half."

"Stuff it, Remus. And, might I say, that black eye of yours looks lovely."

Remus rolled his eyes, but self-consciously turned so his steadily blackening eye was hidden from Sirius's view. He and Benjy had fought a ruthless Death Eater who had resorted to Muggle dueling once he'd been disarmed by Remus. Remus didn't take well to having fists connecting with his face and the Death Eater had been left with his legs wrapped around his head and a nice bunch of hair growing out of his nostrils, courtesy of Benjy. Normally, Remus might feel bad about doing that, but no one was going to punch him in the face and get away with that. He hoped the man had fun untangling himself.

James, Sirius, Peter, Remus, Lily and the rest of the Order members they had ventured to Knockturn Alley with were now settled in the front room of Dorcas Meadows' house. The curtains were drawn and all possible entrances locked and warded. They didn't need any sudden surprises. Each one of them was sporting some sort of injury from the battle. From Remus's black eye, to Sirius lying on the sofa with his feet up to ease the pain in his back, to Benjy's bloody nose, their injuries were mild, but there. Dumbledore and Moody were in the next room, their conversation swift and urgent from the sounds of their voices, though no one knew what they were saying.

James, who had a cut trailing along his right cheek, which was stained with dried blood, sat up in his seat on the floor beside Lily, who was sporting a cut across her forehead. "So," he began, looking at the four Order members expectantly, "Does this mean we've proven our worth? Does this mean you trust us now?"

Remus and Sirius simultaneously rolled their eyes at James's blunt question, though they could not deny that they were eager to find out the same. The Order had been so insistent on only fully welcoming them until they had proven that they wouldn't run in the face of danger, would fight with everything they had for people they barely knew against what was possibly the biggest threat the Wizarding world had ever faced. This may have been their first real encounter with Death Eaters (that is, if they were excluding their encounter in the Forbidden Forest when they were thirteen), but they did not run. They stood their ground and fought alongside their comrades and had emerged victorious.

They couldn't think of what else to do to earn their trust if they hadn't done it that day.

"You've proven you're good fighters and that you're very smart," Marlene admitted, rubbing a hand along the side of her neck. The man had left a nasty bruise there before James had finally freed her.

"And…?" James's eyebrows rose. He already knew they were all good fighters. Their grades in school and Dumbledore's word could have told them that they were intelligent. What they needed to know was whether or not they would be trusted. Nothing else mattered except for that. If the Order didn't trust them, they wouldn't last very long here.

Marlene exchanged glances with Benjy, Elphias and Dorcas, all of whom had the same looks on their faces and nodded without hesitation. "You've proven you can be trusted. Allow me to be the first one to tell you – welcome to the Order of the Phoenix."

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Seventy Four: Adventures in Shopping and Disappearances**_

While Sirius was waiting for Remus to finish in that aisle, he snuck off into another and when he came back, he was grinning mischievously and slipped something into the cart when his friend wasn't looking. "Oh, I like that cereal," he commented casually.

"Yeah, I saw you eat three bowls of it in one sitting," Remus said with a laugh, dropping it into the cart before his eyes caught something that hadn't been in there before. Restraining himself from swearing, he plucked up the box Sirius had sneakily put in there. "Hair dye? Honestly, Padfoot?"

"For those pesky grey hairs!" Sirius replied cheerfully. His grin only widened at the infuriated look on Remus's face. Honestly, sometimes it was too much fun to push Remus's buttons until he snapped. It was when he snapped that things became less fun.

"I'm aware that having grey hairs at eighteen is unnatural. Do you really need to constantly remind me?"

"Absolutely!"


	74. Adventures in Shopping and Disappearance

Chapter Seventy Four  
Adventures in Shopping and Disappearances

"This is absolutely the last time I go grocery shopping with you."

"Oh, you know you love my taste in food."

"I think that's the only thing I like about you right now."

"Then what's your problem?"

"The obscene _amount_ of food you can consume! Honestly, Padfoot, I'm a minimum wage worker in a bookstore and you're just getting into the Academy and you seriously need _four_ boxes of biscuits? Do you know how much that's going to cost?"

Sirius grumbled indignantly, glaring down at the tiled floor for a moment before muttering, "I like sweets."

"So do I, but looking at all of that is making me faintly ill."

Sirius grinned cheekily. "Well, you've always had a weak stomach."

Remus groaned, shaking his head as he bent down and removed three boxes of biscuits from the cart and replaced them on the shelf, much to Sirius's dismay.

"Wet blanket," Sirius muttered.

"Pig," Remus shot back, heading forward to the next aisle in the store, leaving the biscuits to mingle with the boxes of coffee filters. Grocery shopping with Sirius turned out to be an adventure, one that involved several splitting headaches.

"_You're_ calling _me_ a pig?" Sirius shouted, chasing after his roommate. "Don't think I didn't see you hide those four chocolate bars under the coffee!"

"Four chocolate bars are nothing compared to four boxes of biscuits," Remus replied calmly as he selected two boxes of cereal. Merlin knew Sirius ate the stuff as if it was going out of style. "And besides, I was going to give you two."

"Oh… well… that's alright, then." He knew he should be grateful he was even getting half of the chocolate Remus bought. The man's addiction had only increased with his age, though they had all taken bets on whether or not it would disappear with time. James had said it would, Peter bet it would end by the time he was sixteen and Sirius said it would never end. It looked like Sirius was getting a nice payoff from James soon.

While Sirius was waiting for Remus to finish in that aisle, he snuck off into another and when he came back, he was grinning mischievously and slipped something into the cart when his friend wasn't looking. "Oh, I like that cereal," he commented casually.

"Yeah, I saw you eat three bowls of it in one sitting," Remus said with a laugh, dropping it into the cart before his eyes caught something that hadn't been in there before. Restraining himself from swearing, he plucked up the box Sirius had sneakily put in there. "Hair dye? Honestly, Padfoot?"

"For those pesky grey hairs!" Sirius replied cheerfully. His grin only widened at the infuriated look on Remus's face. Honestly, sometimes it was too much fun to push Remus's buttons until he snapped. It was when he snapped that things became less fun.

"I'm aware that having grey hairs at eighteen is unnatural. Do you really need to constantly remind me?"

"Absolutely!"

Remus's lips thinned into a dangerous line before a chuckle escaped from them. He really couldn't be mad. It _was_ ridiculous that his hair was already greying and he was not even twenty yet. As much as he hated it, at least someone was able to joke about it. Remus shoved the box of hair dye onto the shelf and continued pushing the cart with Sirius trailing behind him, happily observing the rows and rows of food.

"You'd make a good dad, Remus," Sirius finally piped up, falling into step with his roommate. "Or mum. Which parent does all the shopping?"

"The mother, Padfoot," Remus replied, shaking his head. Now he was being compared to a woman. First the hair dye and now this. He wondered if it was too late to go back to his parents. "Why would you say that?"

"Because you do all the shopping and know how much to get and all that. And you put up with me, the perfect example of an obnoxious child!"

Remus chuckled before shooting Sirius a curious look. "Do you want me to just buy a wig and be done with it? I'm only doing this because if I let _you_ do it, we'd be in debt for the rest of our lives. Low wage worker, remember, Padfoot?"

"Right," Sirius said, grabbing a container of milk as they passed it. "We need milk, right?"

"Yes." Remus paused and inspected the contents of the cart. It seemed that they had everything they needed. Now to see how much they would be spending on it all. "Come on, let's go pay."

"Have you heard from your parents lately?" Sirius asked curiously as they made their way to the checkout counter. Remus's mother had written constantly during the first few weeks her son had left home, but he wasn't sure if Remus had received a letter in a while. He supposed if Remus hadn't, it meant Mrs. Lupin was getting used to her son moving away.

Remus shook his head as he and Sirius began unloading the cart for the woman at the counter to ring up. "Not recently. I s'ppose my mum is getting used to not having me around and my dad never really nagged me constantly so…" he trailed off as he placed the cereal on the counter. The woman at the counter, a brunette with blue eyes, was eyeing Sirius hopefully and he appeared to have noticed this.

"And how much will this all be, pretty lady?" Sirius asked the woman, who looked to be a year or so younger than they were, with a charming grin.

The woman couldn't keep her cheeks from reddening and she, unconsciously it appeared, flipped her light brown hair as she rattled off the price. Remus and Sirius pooled their money and ended up just having enough to pay for everything. As they left, Sirius threw the woman a wink, to which she giggled, obviously pleased with herself.

"Hey, whatever happened to Emily Fort?" Remus asked suddenly, referring to the Ravenclaw prefect Sirius had dated for two years. "You remember her, your girlfriend?"

"Did I never tell you? We're through."

Remus blinked in surprise. "When did this happen?"

"Towards the end of the year. She told me she liked another bloke, wasn't anything personal. So I didn't make it anything personal." Sirius shrugged. She was a nice girl and hadn't done it to hurt him, so he wouldn't hold it against her. Then, with another cheeky grin, he went on, "We need to find you a lady, Remus."

"We've been through this, Sirius…" Remus started impatiently, staring straight ahead.

"And every time I come to the same conclusion – girls-"

"'Love a guy who can sing and play the piano,'" Remus said at the same time, rolling his eyes. "Let's be realistic here for a moment."

"I _am_ being realistic, Moony. Honestly, you write yourself off for everything just because of your… you know, your furry little problem."

Remus rolled his eyes at the old nickname James had given his Lycanthropy. It was so much easier for them to think on the positive side when they weren't the ones who had to deal with it. _He_ hadn't written off of everything a normal person should be entitled to, _society_ had written him off. Remus wasn't stupid. He knew he should have everything going for him. He was smart, he was a good person. He knew these things.

"And you don't know any better to write me off," Remus retorted as they started down the street in the direction of their flat.

"You've just been cheerful all evening, haven't you?"

"Sirius, do you realise how close I am to being fired?"

Sirius's mouth dropped open and he halted in his tracks. "No, because you never bothered to tell me!" When he saw Remus had not stopped walking, he hurried forward to catch up. "Are you seriously going to be fired?"

"Mr. Foster's hinted at it… a lot." Remus turned the corner, sidestepping a man walking his dog. It was only earlier that day that Mr. Foster casually mentioned a store across the street that was happy to hire undedicated workers. "He's all but told me that the next time I miss work, I'm out."

"But you've told him you're sick, haven't you?" Sirius paused for a moment, wondering why Mr. Foster always had to have a broomstick stuck up his bum. Anyone with eyes could see that at a certain time, Remus was not healthy enough to work. He didn't understand why it had to be taken out on him. Remus nodded. "And he doesn't care?"

"He doesn't care as long as he doesn't know what it is and I'm not about to tell him he's hired a bloody werewolf."

"You want me to beat him up for you?" Sirius asked impertinently, knowing that his friend was just going to get more upset if he let the conversation continue going the way it was going. It was best to cheer him up now before it became unbearable living with him.

And, to Sirius's relief, he saw the corners of Remus's lips turn up. "And get me fired sooner? If I was fired already, maybe…" He shook his head. It was already the end of August and he had missed a good number of days because of the full moon, particularly after the last one. It had been coupled with work for the Order the night before and he was bloody exhausted. Sirius claimed that he, James and Peter had tried their best to keep him under control, but it hadn't worked very well.

Needless to say, Remus's boss was not pleased when he returned four days later for work and still appeared out of it.

"Look," he continued as they climbed the stairs on the side of Mrs. Sherman's building to their flat upstairs. "I can find another job if I have to."

Sirius pulled out his key and slid it into the lock, shaking his head as he did so. "I can help, you know."

"No, I think it's better if I try and find the job for myself. Besides, I've still got this job."

* * *

Their work with the Order kept the boys and Lily extraordinarily busy for the majority of the summer. Added to that was James's Healer training every morning, Sirius's Auror training five out of seven days and the articles Lily was writing for the _Daily Prophet _and they barely had time for personal lives. Remus managed to keep his job at the bookstore only by casually mentioning that it wasn't morally right, or legally correct, for a boss to fire a worker because of health issues. At least, that was what Remus's mother had told him when he had visited his parents and he just _happened_ to mention it during work one day. Peter was also kept busy as he had bought a lot of land that housed a store up for rent in Hogsmeade and was preparing to turn it into a novelty shop.

There were two new additions to the Order over the summer – the newlyweds Frank and Alice Longbottom, both of whom had joined Sirius in the Auror Academy. Alice and Frank were put through the same test the boys and Lily had gone through though Alice and Frank had the advantage of not only having the support of Dumbledore and Moody, but of five extra Order members. In a matter of weeks, the Longbottoms were officially part of the Order of the Phoenix and the extra help was greatly appreciated, not to mention sorely needed. It seemed that Voldemort's army of Death Eaters grew every day and the Order just couldn't keep up.

What was more, the Order didn't know what to expect. They knew some of what Voldemort was up to, such as trying to recruit Dark creatures into his ranks and was trying to infiltrate the Ministry. But they didn't know who the Death Eaters were that were trying to do this, though they had some suspicions and one or two confirmations. Sirius reluctantly divulged the information that his brother was among the Death Eaters, but Regulus was still at Hogwarts. They couldn't do anything to him there and Dumbledore wouldn't let them. Dumbledore probably believed that Regulus could change by the time he completed his career at Hogwarts. Sirius wasn't holding his breath for that. Regulus had had his chance to get away and he didn't take it. Whatever he got was well deserved, in Sirius's opinion.

But, as under any circumstances, life during war went on. Sirius continued to go to his training, using his inheritance from Uncle Alphard to help pay the rent and living expenses. Between his training and work for the Order, he had no time for a job. Remus was just managing to keep his own job at the bookstore. Some days, after he finished up at the bookstore, he and Sirius would meet Peter in Hogsmeade and help him set up his shop. Peter was grateful for the help more than the company. Ever since Sirius and Remus became roommates and James moved into his own place, he felt they all had little contact with each other. True they worked together in the Order, but even then there were so many other people around, it was hard to have any time with his former roommates.

When James was not busy with his Healer training or work for the Order, he spent a great deal of time with Lily. He saw Lily when they were at Order meetings, but it wasn't nearly the same as when he got to be alone with her. But they were both so busy that it became nearly impossible sometimes. When they could be alone, they made the best out of it. Since neither of them was keen on venturing out after dark (at least Lily wasn't), they would stay in Lily's flat some nights and 'be Muggles' as James liked to put it. They would watch old movies or order in and just talk. They didn't need to go out or to a fancy restaurant to have a good time. On the nights when they could go out before dark, they usually went to the Three Broomsticks for a dinner. It didn't really matter where they went or what they did. As long as it was Lily and James, they were happy.

"Why's it so quiet?" James asked Sirius uncertainly, taking a seat beside his best friend. James and Lily had just arrived at the Order meeting Dumbledore called and they were shocked to find it eerily quiet. Usually the place would be lively with chatter.

Sirius, who was sitting with Remus and Peter on the long sofa, looked up at James and shrugged. "Dunno. We got here and they were all talking. The second they saw us, it went quiet."

"Then it must be about one of you," Lily assumed, sitting on the other side of James. When the four boys stared questioningly at her, she explained, "Honestly, that's how it always goes. People will be talking and then the person they're talking about walks in and everyone gets quiet. It has to about one of you three," she concluded, nodding at Sirius, Remus and Peter, all of whom glanced uncertainly at each other.

"What have we done?" Remus asked, utterly nonplussed. They had done nothing except help the Order in any way they could. They certainly couldn't be in trouble, could they?

"I don't know," Peter muttered, slouching in his seat and crossing his arms across his chest. He didn't need this right now; he could be working on his shop right now, trying to get it to open sometime within the next century. If the rest of the Order wasn't going to let them in on their little secret, couldn't they just leave?

"They keep looking at us," Sirius commented under his breath to James, who shrugged unhelpfully. He had only just gotten there and hadn't noticed. Whatever was going on, he knew it wasn't about him or Lily. He couldn't deny that he was curious as to what brought this about. The whispers coming from the table varied from urgent to quiet.

Sirius spotted Frank, who had just broken away from the whispering group. "Oi, Longbottom! Care to let us in your little secret."

Frank, whose face was pale, carefully went over to him. "_You_ never cared to let _us_ in on yours."

Sirius noticed Frank's eyes flicker over to Remus, who also saw this and paled at once. There was only one secret they had that would draw such a response. Well, two if they counted being illegal Animagi, but Remus was sure that wasn't what they were talking about. "What secret?" he asked hoarsely, though he needn't have to. He knew what secret they were discussing, he only had one.

"Moody figured it out, Dumbledore confirmed it. You didn't think it'd get past the top Auror, did you?"

"Look, I was going to tell everyone eventually."

"I shared a dormitory with you for seven years, how did I never figure it out?" The way Frank said this was more in a tone of disbelief at himself than it was anger at Remus. He had been studying to become an Auror for years and he couldn't discern that he lived with a werewolf. He wasn't sure how he felt about it. It was obvious Remus went to great lengths to hide this, but his friends clearly knew. He knew they should because his four roommates were best friends, they would have found out. He was friends with Remus, obviously, but never to a great extent.

"What do the others say about it?" Remus asked hesitantly when he was sure Frank wasn't going to chew him out about it. His mind was already going through several dozen scenarios that ranged from them being unrealistically accepting of his abnormality to being ridiculously disgusted by it.

"Moody's a bit wary right now," Frank began to explain, drawing up a chair for himself and sitting down. "But he's talking it over with Dumbledore and Moody trusts Dumbledore more than anyone. If Dumbledore can trust you, Moody probably can."

Remus let out a small breath of relief. He hoped that went for most of the Order. Remus always felt Dumbledore was foolish for trusting him as much as he did, but it was proving to be beneficial. "And the others?"

"There's a… _mixed_ reaction." Frank looked over his shoulder at the group around the table, their heads bent together, whispering furiously. "Some aren't sure they want to trust a werewolf, others are a bit more accepting of it and others are a bit mad that you never bothered to mention it."

"Dumbledore said I should tell everyone when I was ready," Remus replied, recalling a conversation he had had with the Headmaster about it. Though it was September now and they had been with the Order since July, he still wasn't ready. It had taken him two years to be comfortable with his friends knowing. Dumbledore couldn't expect him to be instantly comfortable with telling a group of people he barely knew. As it was, he would have told Frank and Alice before anyone else. At least he _knew_ them. "They're not ready to throw me out, are they?"

Frank shook his head. "No they won't do that, but just be ready for whatever reactions they send you."

"Err… how did Alice take it?" Remus nodded towards Frank's wife. He had known her for a long time as well and he wondered if she would be upset that he hadn't told her or, what he feared, would despise him for what he was. He sincerely hoped it wasn't the latter.

Frank smiled at him reassuringly. "I believe the first words out of her mouth were 'poor Remus! How does he handle it?' She's not mad at you at all. You've always been nice to her, she could never be mad at you."

Remus nodded, feeling the knot in his stomach loosen ever so slightly. Before anyone could say anything else about the subject, Dumbledore cleared his throat loudly and officially called the Order to the meeting. The boys and Lily pulled their chairs up to the table and waited patiently for Dumbledore to start the meeting.

"Now, I have called you all here to discuss the growth of suspected of Death Eater activity that has been increasing in London." There was a faint murmur around the table. They were well aware of it. Over the past few weeks there had been many disappearances amongst Ministry workers, particularly in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. It was only the fact that Sirius was still a trainee, and thought to be fairly worthless, that his friends weren't worrying about him as much as they might have been. For people like Moody, however, there was a need to fret. But Moody was tough, he wouldn't be taken down without a fight and the Death Eaters would be lucky to not escape a fight with him outside of a body bag. They also had a suspicion that no one was crazy enough to take Moody down.

"A Ministry official from the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures has disappeared. Mr. Warren Yearly, his name is and it is my impression that without him, Voldemort can easily access different Dark creatures and bring them under his wing." Dumbledore did not fail to notice the several sets of eyes that instantly darted towards one of the Order members, whose face promptly turned three shades of red. With another clearing of his throat, Dumbledore regained the attention of his colleagues and with a reproachful look from their leader they ignored the werewolf among them. "I believe it is our responsibility to bring Yearly back. The Ministry is trying, but they are making little success."

"How do you suggest we do that?" Gideon Prewitt asked, leaning back in his seat and watching Dumbledore expectantly. "If the Ministry is having a difficult time, what makes you think we'll be able to do any better?"

"They would not be expecting someone outside of the Ministry to go after them," Dumbledore replied calmly. "I have been informed that it is believed Death Eaters have set up camp in the Forest of Dean. If that is true, we will be able to find Mr. Yearly there. Now, before we decide who will take this mission, I have a personal request for Mr. Lupin to stay out of this."

"Sir?" Remus didn't understand why he was being told not to go. Out of all of them, he would probably be the most helpful, seeing as he _was_ a Dark creature.

"We plan on starting this immediately and are not sure when it will end. The full moon is in two days, it would not due for you to be there when it falls." Remus nodded stiffly, once again feeling all eyes on him. He hoped they were merely curious rather than scathing. Of course the bloody full moon would keep him from helping. But Dumbledore was right, his transformation would be the last thing they needed and his assistance would be hindered the day of the full moon anyway. He was already beginning to feel drained and the moon was still two days away.

"Maybe I should stay behind," Sirius spoke up tentatively. He didn't want his friend having to go through the full moon by himself, something had hadn't done since Christmas of their seventh year. Someone needed to be there for him in case it got out of hand.

"No, you're going to go, Sirius," Remus said firmly, knowing that Sirius wanted to help and, more importantly, _could_ help. Remus was aware that the eyes of the Order members were on him still. "I'll be fine."

"Question, Albus," Aberforth said unexpectedly. Usually Aberforth was quiet during meetings, listened rather than spoke.

"Yes?" Dumbledore replied politely.

"How do we know Lupin can be trusted? What if the moment he gets the chance, he goes and informs those like him that some of us are coming? We can't risk a group of werewolves attacking and making us just like them."

"We don't even know it's werewolves that are involved in this," James snapped, half out of his seat. "We just know it's Death Eaters."

"Yeah, and everyone knows that the Dark creatures are in the Death Eaters' pockets."

"Aberforth," Dumbledore said warningly.

"Please, Dumbledore, I'm not the only one thinking it. How do we know we can trust him?" He jerked an angry thumb in Remus's direction. Remus felt himself sliding down in his seat as if he was trying to hide. Soon only his bright red forehead would be visible. "He never even bothered to tell us what he is, that's not something someone trustworthy would do."

"No, I agree," Dumbledore said mildly, drawing looks of utter shock from the boys and Lily. How could Dumbledore say that? He, of all people, would understand why Remus was hesitant to reveal the nature of his condition. "It's something someone who has been mistrusted and mistreated for a good portion of his life would do. I don't expect you to understand this, Aberforth, but I have full trust in Remus and his motives and intentions will not be questioned." He said it in his calm, though deadly, manner and this brought silence around the table. "Now, we shall discuss who will be involved in this. Sirius, you have already volunteered?"

"Or Remus volunteered for me," Sirius replied with a cheeky grin. "But, yes, I would like to."

Dumbledore nodded. "Others?"

Gideon and Fabian were quick to volunteer, as well as James and Lily. Peter was hesitant to raise his hand, but didn't have to when Dumbledore decided that five people were enough and there was enough work to be getting on with for the others here in London. Dumbledore gave them enough time to go home and gather whatever they would need before they had to report back to him and he would give them the information that they needed.

* * *

"You sure you'll be alright for the full moon? You haven't done this by yourself in months."

"I'll be fine, Padfoot. I used to do this by myself for years before you three became Animagi."

"And in the morning?"

"I just owled my dad and he said I should just go there for the full moon. They've still got the shed set up and everything in case I needed it. Knowing my dad, he'll probably get James's dad to come over the next morning. And I also asked Peter if he'd stop by here once I get home and he said he would once he finished at the shop."

Sirius zipped up the rucksack he was hastily stuffing items in. Straightening up, he frowned at his roommate, who was sitting cross-legged on the couch. "Are you sure?"

Remus rolled his eyes exasperatedly. "Yes, _Mum_. Honestly, Sirius, shouldn't I be the one worrying? You and James and Lily are going to _find_ Death Eaters and Merlin knows what." He got up as there was a knock on the front door. Pulling it open, he stepped aside to let James and Lily in. They both had their own sacks slung over their shoulders and were wearing grim expressions. Who knew they would be heading out to rescue a Ministry official from the Death Eaters? They greeted Remus and turned to Sirius, who had just slung his own sack over his shoulder.

"You ready, Padfoot?" James asked in a strange voice. It was as if he wasn't sure if he was in a dream or not and he knew it was one he would want to wake up from. He knew what would happen if he _didn't _wake up from it. He had volunteered to do this, he would give it everything he had, but that didn't mean he had some reservations about it.

"Yeah," Sirius replied in very much the same voice. Turning to Remus, he managed a small laugh. "Don't burn the place down while I'm gone. I don't think Mrs. Sherman would appreciate it."

Remus chuckled. "How'd you know what I was planning?" Clapping James and Sirius on the shoulder and giving Lily a quick hug, he said, "Please be careful."

"We will be," Lily assured him. With that, the three left the safety of the flat, ready to face whatever dangers lay in store for them.

* * *

**_Excerpt from Chapter Seventy Five - Into the Woods_**

"You're lucky in a way," Fabian continued. When James looked at him with raised eyebrows, he explained, "Your best friends are a part of this. If something happens, you'll know it and won't be taken by surprise."

James supposed Fabian was right, but he wasn't with all his friends right now. Remus and Peter were back in London and he was especially worried about Remus with the full moon so near. He hadn't been there for his friend's last transformation, but he liked being close by, able to Apparate there at a moment's notice if he needed to. "I'm not with all of my best friends right now."

Fabian instantly knew what James was talking about and frowned. "Lupin will be alright, won't he?"

"He's been going through this his entire life, he's used to it. That doesn't mean I don't worry about him. His dad will be there for him in the morning and my dad will help out. He always does when we're all home from school."


	75. Into the Woods

Chapter Seventy Five  
Into the Woods

The group Apparated onto unstable ground and promptly fell to their feet – one of the many hazards of Side-Along Apparition into unknown territory. James groaned as he lifted his face from the dirt, wiping the backs of his hands over his face before getting unsteadily to his feet and holding out a hand to Lily to help her up. The group turned slowly on the spot, gaining their bearings. This should have been where Dumbledore instructed them to go, but they had no true way of telling. They just had to hope they ended up in the Forest of Dean and found the department head before the Death Eaters had their way with him.

"This place is definitely a good one to hide in," Gideon commented grimly, his eyes roving the territory with interest. He was right. The forest was littered with closely packed, extremely tall trees that let in minimal sunlight. It was secluded, very removed from society. They didn't imagine people frequently traipsed through here on their afternoon walk. It would be a walk they never returned from if they did. Gideon sighed audibly and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Now where do we go from here?"

Sirius pulled out the map Dumbledore had given them, though wondering what the point of it was. There wasn't going to be one of those Muggle kiosks with a _You Are Here_ arrow on it in the middle of the forest. Dumbledore had marked the area they should have ended up in on the map and directed a path to where the Death Eaters were supposedly hiding out. It wasn't a short walk, Sirius could tell that much. Yet he wished that Dumbledore had sent them to a place with an identifying feature, unless there wasn't one.

"Isn't there some spell that helps you find north?" Lily asked, twirling her wand between her fingers as she tried to recall it.

"Yeah there is," Fabian confirmed, nodding. He took his own wand and held it flat in the palm of his hand. With a look of concentration, he said, "_Point Me_/" The wand spun around in Fabian's hand and pointed to the north. Taking the map from Sirius, he studied it and nodded in the appropriate direction. "That's the way we should be going."

The five set off in the direction Fabian indicated in silence. They tried to keep their footsteps as quiet as possible, knowing it would be to their extreme disadvantage if they announced their arrival from several dozen feet away. All it would take for the Death Eaters to be alerted would be a simplest snap of a twig in this otherwise mute forest. Then again, the sound could easily be mistaken for one of the creatures that must have inhabited the place, but they soon learned that there were not many wild animals, save for a few birds overhead. No, any sound the Death Eaters heard would alert them to their adversaries.

They weren't sure if the lack of wildlife was natural for this particular forest, but it was unsettling, as if all the animals fled because of the Death Eaters. Animals were best at weeding out untrustworthy people, after all.

The air was bitterly cold all around them. The air had been cold for weeks, months. England was not the warmest place on the planet, but the summer usually felt as a summer should – warm weather and blue skies. Now, however, the skies were almost always a consistent grey and foggy and the temperatures were cool. Dumbledore had explained this as a result of the Dementors breeding. It was a frightening thought – Dementors being able to multiply. The misery they spread had transferred to the weather, it seemed…

"What do we do once we find them?" Sirius asked in a whisper, as if he was afraid to speak any louder for fear of attracting unwanted attention. His eyes darted to Gideon and Fabian. They had been doing this much longer, they would know what to expect. The few months Sirius, James and Lily had been in the Order had provided them with experience, but nothing that would prepare them for something like this. He didn't have the slightest idea as to how they would rescue a Ministry official, especially from the clutches of Death Eaters.

"I doubt we'll be lucky enough that we can just grab the man and go," Fabian muttered darkly. That would be ideal, yet he knew it would never happen and he wasn't foolish enough to delude himself into believing that. This was going to take time and they would have to be extremely careful. "We're going to have to fight and the Death Eaters aren't going to be eager to let him go."

"This is considered a huge victory for them," Gideon added, his face grim as he looked towards the younger Order members. While the Death Eaters had done so many terrible things already – all the deaths and disappearances that had occurred over the years – none of them added up to this, actually capturing a Ministry official. It was likely they would be celebrating this and would not want to be disturbed. Upset Death Eaters were the worst kind to battle. "When we ruin it for them, they won't be pleased."

The group lapsed into silence once more; the only sound that could be heard was their uneven breathing. Dumbledore said he trusted them, had told them everything he could that he thought would help them, yet this did not ease their violent nerves at all. Dumbledore had also made it extremely clear the dangers they faced. No one in the group was stupid enough to believe that they would emerge from this mission unscathed. If any of them thought that, they might as well quit the Order before they realised they were in far too over their heads.

"Do you think we're going the right way?" James asked after fifteen minutes of walking and not coming upon anything.

"It's a big forest, James," Sirius reminded him in a low voice, his face a shade or two paler than was normal. "We'll be lucky if we find them today."

Lily couldn't help but agree with Sirius. "Sirius is right. Why else would Dumbledore have told us to be prepared to be here for a few days?"

She was sure they were going the right way. Even if they hadn't come upon anything that indicated a Death Eater camp, they had been using the Point Me spell and following the map Dumbledore had made for them exactly. Unless the Death Eaters had packed up their camp and left already, they had to find them eventually. Lily wouldn't deny that she was terrified of what might happen when they finally did. Everything they had done so far… nothing scared her quite as much as this. Granted, she had fought Death Eaters already and had an idea of what to expect. Hell, her first mission with the Order involved fighting a group of Death Eaters in Knockturn Alley.

But that had been in the public, where there were more witnesses than she assumed those vile people would have liked. Though she was certain the vermin didn't care if they hurt the witnesses, they just didn't want anyone to do anything that could wreck their cover. This time, however, it was out in the middle of a forest, where they had nothing but their own wits to save them. Lily trusted herself, knew she was skilled with a wand, but that didn't mean she wasn't scared.

The trail they were taking led them nowhere that day, nowhere they could tell that was helpful, anyway. They just had to pray that they had been following the right path. If they hadn't been, this would take longer than they had anticipated and they might be too late to save Yearly. When the hour became too late and they could not move anymore for their exhaustion and severe lack of light, the group finally set up camp. They would sleep in shifts, two staying awake to keep watch while the other three slept, regaining their strength for the next day.

After eating a meager dinner of bread and cheese, Lily, Sirius and Gideon slept while James and Fabian took the first watch shift. James sat with his wand lit, pointed outward towards the thick grove of trees, his knees drawn up to his chest, resting his chin on them. Merlin, he was tired, but he had at least two hours before he could hope to get any sleep. Fabian sat beside him, his wand lit as well, eyes sharp and alert for any movement that could mean trouble.

"Do you think it'll be bad when we find them?" James asked his fellow Order member, feeling quite like a child after he did so. In a way, compared to those he fought alongside, with the exception of his friends, he _was_ a child. He had seen not even half of what they had. He had yet to develop that distant demeanour they all seemed to obtain after some time. They cared about those they fought for and with, but they couldn't risk getting attached.

If they did get attached, it was always result in heartbreak.

"It won't be good," Fabian replied bluntly, turning abruptly when he heard something close by, though it was only a squirrel scurrying through their campsite, the first sign of wildlife they had seen so far. "Get used to this, James, being out in the middle of nowhere, never knowing when you're going to see your family or friends again. Gideon and I, we haven't seen our sister Molly in ages. She doesn't know what we do when we're gone. We just tell her that it's work."

James couldn't imagine not seeing his parents for long stretches of time, especially now. His parents were by no means young and it was only a matter of time when he wouldn't see them again. He would like to be around when that time came, just so he could tell them how much he loved them. But he knew that Fabian was right. He had committed himself to something larger than anyone could imagine. He wouldn't get to do everything he wanted and sacrifices would have to be made.

"You're lucky in a way," Fabian continued. When James looked at him with raised eyebrows, he explained, "Your best friends are a part of this. If something happens, you'll know it and won't be taken by surprise."

James supposed Fabian was right, but he wasn't with all his friends right now. Remus and Peter were back in London and he was especially worried about Remus with the full moon so near. He hadn't been there for his friend's last transformation, but he liked being close by, able to Apparate there at a moment's notice if he needed to. "I'm not with all of my best friends right now."

Fabian instantly knew what James was talking about and frowned. "Lupin will be alright, won't he?"

"He's been going through this his entire life, he's used to it. That doesn't mean I don't worry about him. His dad will be there for him in the morning and my dad will help out. He always does when we're all home from school."

"Your dad's a good man, so is Lupin's dad."

James nodded. They were good men, men who would do anything for the people they loved, even people they did know. Why else would they have worked so hard to fight Voldemort before they had to stop? James was glad his father fought while he could, had managed to _do_ something before his age caught up with him. James knew he would have been worried terribly about his father if he kept at it. His was no longer at an age where he was able to go out and fight Dark wizards. Harry Lupin was much younger, yet sometimes he looked older than he was. James knew that had to come from raising a son who was bitten by a werewolf and then to add the guilt of being the one to bring it about.

No, that wasn't true. Fenrir Greyback brought it about, the vicious monster who had damned James's friend and then came back to do it again. _He_ was the one to blame, not Harry. Harry could never hurt his son in such a way.

In a way, James found it ironic that he was out here trying to save one of the people who made his friend's life as hard as it was. Yet he had to. Warren Yearly may not be fair to werewolves, but he wasn't going to use them the way Death Eaters would – give them the chance to think they'll be able to make themselves into something and then take it all away and reveal it as the lie it was.

That was how Death Eaters worked – lies, deceit, making someone believe they could be somebody and the second they failed at it, it was all over. Their life wasn't worth even living anymore. James couldn't help but shudder at the thought. How had the world turned out this way?

* * *

"He's got to be in one of those tents."

"Yeah, but there's at least six of them and we won't find him unless we search them all."

"And we can't risk that. We might as well jump out of these bushes and announce our presence right now if we did that."

"So what do we do?"

Gideon and Fabian exchanged contemplative glances. The Death Eaters would find them either way, their task was to bring Yearly back to London and, while they were at it, find out what they could about what he'd been through. Maybe he learned the identities of some of the Death Eaters. Whatever information he had would only be helpful to them. "One of us is going to have to find the man while the rest of us go after the Death Eaters," Gideon finally decided.

"Which one of us is that going to be?" Sirius asked, his gaze roaming across his four companions. He would do it if he had to, but he would rather fight those bloody Death Eaters. It was more satisfying.

"I'll do it," Lily volunteered.

"Are you sure?" James asked her concernedly. Yes, she wouldn't be fighting the Death Eaters right off like they would be, but if she found Yearly and he was with Death Eaters, she would be just as much at risk as they would be.

"Completely."

James considered giving her his Invisibility Cloak, but decided against it. If someone walked into her or noticed her moving the flaps of the tents, it would only compromise the situation further. And he didn't want the Death Eaters knowing they had the advantage of an Invisibility Cloak. Some things were best kept secret.

Gideon hissed the instructions under his breath and almost at once they put his plan into action. Sirius slid his wand out of his pocket and narrowed his eyes, aiming his wand at a Death Eater who was sitting over a fire. "_Stupefy!_" A jet of red light flew out from behind the bushes and connected successfully with the Death Eater, who promptly fell backwards off the log he was sitting on.

The plan went exactly as they planned. Chaos ensued.

Because of this, Lily was able to escape from the group and start her search for the department head without being spotted. She crept around towards the tents, using the bushes for cover while the men braced themselves for the inevitable onslaught of spells sent their way.

James and Sirius had never seen Fabian and Gideon in action before and it was something to see. The brothers were masters with their wands, encyclopedias of hexes and curses that could make even the most knowledgeable wizard's head spin. Part of the two boys wondered why the Death Eaters weren't cowering from the wrath of the Prewetts. But James and Sirius couldn't spend long marveling at their companions' skill, they needed to help. James waved his wand and a jet of blue light made its way towards the nearest Death Eater, who shouted and dropped to the ground, his mask dropping into the dirt.

James stared at the face with no idea of who it was. Perhaps if he had a name to the face, this would be an extraordinary revelation, but it wasn't right now. The man spotted James staring at him, yet showed no emotion on his scarred face. Instead, he was on his feet in an instant and had his wand pointed at James, who held his own up with a remarkably steady hand. "Ah, the Potter boy," the Death Eater said coldly, easily recognising James. "I wonder if you're just as good with a wand as your father. If you're not, you have a serious problem."

Sirius had found his own Death Eater to chase after, ducking under the multicoloured jets of light shooting through the air around him. This monster in particular seemed thoroughly unwilling to be caught. Perhaps the wild rage in Sirius's eyes was the incentive to run. He wasn't going to let them get away with smuggling away an innocent person. They had been doing this for too long – first Professor Flitwick's sister, then Alice's dad, Peter's dad… the last one gave Sirius the extra burst of energy he needed to catch up with the Death Eater and wrap his arms around the person's middle, bringing the both of them crashing to the ground.

These arses would pay for killing Peter's father.

Then, to Sirius's utter surprise, the man behind the mask began laughing uncontrollably. "You're going to fight me, Black?"

Sirius felt his heart stop. He knew that voice. He had heard it too many times in his life to not recognise it right off. This hadn't been the same shock he had when he learned that Regulus was a Death Eater – the heartbreaking, disappointed shock. No… this was victorious. He _knew_ this was the route that vile excuse for a human being would take.

"Snape," Sirius breathed, a cruel smile etching into his face. This was too good. Severus Snape was a Death Eater.

"Black," Snape snarled. If Sirius could see the man's face, he was sure it would hold just as much dislike as Sirius's did. "Somehow, I'm not surprised to find you here, fighting against us. You were always hopelessly foolish."

A muscle tightened in Sirius's jaw and he resisted the urge to punch Snape in his masked face. Instead, he merely returned the taunt. "Somehow, I'm not surprised to find _you_ here. You were always scum." And then he did punch Snape, right in the stomach.

Snape recoiled, hands clutched around his middle and his breath caught painfully in his throat. Then, quickly before Sirius could get another shot in, drew his wand and, before Sirius knew what was happening, he had fallen backwards and skidded across the dirt at least five feet. Sirius easily scrambled to his feet. He was ready for this. If there was anyone he would want to fight – it was Severus Snape.

It seemed that all of the Death Eaters had abandoned their tents in order to fight off the intruders. At least that was how it appeared to Lily as she combed the encampment, using a special spell to reveal any human presence within the places. Then again, how could they not abandon the safety of their tents when their camp was being attacked? She had half a mind to believe they were too cowardly to fight. This made her job easier, but made things all the more difficult for the others, who were out their fighting right now. She was scared for them, but she also knew that they were all fighters; they wouldn't let the Death Eaters get their way.

At the fourth tenth she inspected, Lily detected a human presence inside. While she was certain all the Death Eaters had been drawn out to the fight, she still had to be careful. It was likely one could have stayed behind to guard the prisoner in case he got any fast ideas and tried to escape in the mayhem. But it only felt like one person was inside and, if it was Yearly, their mission would be a success. She would just have to get him out of there and back to London. Taking a deep breath, she ripped away the flap of the tent and peered inside.

Sitting against the far side of the tent, slumped over with his chin resting on his chest, was a large man with a mass of grey hair lumped on his head. He looked tired, completely worn out and, despite his big form, looked starved. At the sound of someone entering, his head snapped up and there was a frightened look in his eyes and he seemed to cower against the wall as if she may attack him. Lily felt sorry for the man. He was the head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, he must have been put in more than enough life-threatening situations and she was almost sure he was never as terrified as he was right now.

Death Eaters were much scarier than a Hippogriff.

"Don't worry, I'm here to help you," Lily assured the man in a soft voice. Yearly didn't look as though he was certain, but when Lily offered him a kind smile, he seemed to relax. "Come on, we need to get you out of her." The man was weak, that much was clear, so Lily entered further into the tent to help him climb out. Once outside of the tent, Lily wondered if she should just Apparate with Yearly and come back to help the others. Fortunately, Gideon had hurried up alongside her, Fabian and Sirius right behind him.

"Where's James?" Lily asked, concern springing out immediately when she noticed their numbers were short one.

"He ran off chasing a Death Eater," Sirius explained, his eyes darting about in hopes of seeing the familiar mass of untidy black hair bounding towards them. Yet there was no sign of him.

Lily's panic instantly increased. "Which way did he go?" Her eyes zeroed in on the direction Sirius pointed in. "Take him back, I'm going to find James." Before any of her companions could say anything, she had darted off, oblivious to Sirius calling after her.

If anything happened to Lily, James would kill him.

* * *

The coward was taunting him. The bloody coward wearing the bloody _mask_ was taunting him. And James wasn't going to let him get away with it.

He chased the cloaked figure, who was chortling merrily, as though this was a fun jog through the park and not as though James would hex him within an inch of his life if he caught up with him. The words that had come out of the Death Eater's mouth, it was as if he knew the exact buttons to push to infuriate James. He taunted the Muggle-borns, werewolves, and blood traitors. He even knew enough to claim the Blacks had the biggest blood traitor in their midst. Whoever it was, he had enough information about James to know what would enrage him. And it disgusted James to no end that the man had succeeded in doing just that.

James leapt over a protruding tree branch in the dirt, tripping over his own feet and stumbling to the ground, skinning the palms of his hands. Wonderful, more blood to go with the stream running out of his nose. A snarl emitting from his throat at his clumsiness, James hastily climbed to his feet and continued his pursuit. He didn't know where he was being led, only that he was going to capture this Death Eater the first moment he could. Legs pumping furiously, he wove around the scattered trees, grabbing the trunks and wheeling himself by whenever he got too close to crashing into them.

He _wasn't_ letting that man get away. Whoever he was, he definitely he knew James was and that did _not_ sit well with him.

"James!"

James tripped over another tree root, his face smashing into the dirt, his nose searing with pain, and his glasses snapping clean in two. Growling in frustration, he whipped out his wand and muttered, "_Reparo!_" Shoving his newly repaired glasses up the bridge of his nose, he whipped around and saw Lily chasing after him, her mane of red hair flying behind her. "Lily!" James hissed. "What are you doing?"

"What are _you_ doing?" she shot back. Chasing a Death Eater into the middle of nowhere was a death wish and she wasn't letting that happen.

"My job, what does it look like?"

"Getting yourself killed?"

"Thanks for the moral support, Evans. I appreciate it," James shot at her coolly.

Just as James turned around to continue his chase, Lily gripped him by the elbow and pulled him back around. "That's not what I meant and you know it."

"Lily, I don't have time to argue! He's getting away!"

"Fine, if you're going after him, I'm going with you."

"No, you're going back there with the others and I'll meet you at Sirius's flat like we planned, alright?" There was no way he was letting her get hurt just because he wanted to chase after this maniac. There was _no_ way.

James was startled when the redhead simply shook her head and rolled her eyes at him. "When are you going to understand that I love you, James Potter, and if you're going to do something stupid, I'm going to do it with you?"

She turned him around and gave him a light shove between his shoulder blades, signaling for him to run. But before she and James could get more than two steps, a cold, icy voice sounded from behind them. "Young love, how sweet."

James and Lily had never heard this voice before, yet something in both of their stomachs told them that this was the voice that belonged to the cause of this war. Revolving slowly in their spots, the two found themselves faced with a man whose face was shadowed by the hood that hung over his head. They didn't need to ask who this man with the long, pale white fingers holding a thin, black wand was.

Lord Voldemort.

"James Potter," he hissed softly, his voice freezing the blood in James's veins. Voldemort's gaze, though they could not see it, shifted from James to Lily and, they were sure, held a look of the utmost pleasure at his find. "And Lily Evans… yes I've heard about you two. Two extraordinarily talented children, despite the filth that runs through your veins," he spat at Lily, whose hand clenched tightly around her wand. She wasn't going to show it, but she was terrified. The tighter she held her wand, she was sure her hand would shake less. "Yet exceptions can be made, even to Mudbloods."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, her voice heavily guarded. One wrong move and they were as good as dead.

"It can only benefit me to have two such talented people as yourselves on my side. What are you really fighting? The inevitable? Mudbloods and blood traitors have no business in this world."

"We're both those things, aren't we?" James snarled. He was one of the biggest blood traitors there was, probably only second to Sirius Black. The things he did, the people he defended, what he fought for, all of that screamed blood traitor to the Death Eaters. Voldemort should want nothing to do with him. "Why would you want us to help you, especially when you know there's no chance of it?" James felt Lily shifted uncomfortably beside him, a definite sign that she wanted him to shut up before he got them vaporized.

"As I said, exceptions can be made." Voldemort's wand arm rose, pointing first at James's chest and then at Lily's. He would not be denied. "If not, I'm sure you know what the consequences will be."

James didn't waste any time thinking about what he was going to do. If he didn't act now, they were both dead. There was no way either of them was strong enough to take down Voldemort on their own. He merely gripped Lily's hand and Apparated.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Seventy Six - Motorcycles and Wedding Crashing**_

Peter raised a skeptical eyebrow. "How do plan on doing that? Riding it in the middle of the night when no one's out?"

"Why don't you come for a ride with me, Wormtail?"

James shook his head furiously. "You're not riding across my parents' lawn in that. I may be eighteen, but they'll murder me. And then you."

"You mean I'll get the flat to myself?" Remus piped up hopefully.

"I mean it, Moony, that arm of yours is easily breakable."

"So? Mr. Potter's right inside. It wouldn't be broken long."


	76. Motorcycles and Wedding Crashing

Chapter Seventy Six  
Motorcycles and Wedding Crashing

Warren Yearly was returned safely to the Ministry of Magic and only days later announced his resignation as the Head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. After what he had gone through, many weren't surprised by his resignation. He expressed his regret thoroughly, as he had never enjoyed anything more than his job, but in the present situation, he was too old to deal with this. Needless to say, not many were eager to jump in and take his place. If the department head of Beast Handlers wasn't safe, who was?

James and Lily returned to the others safely as well, though undeniably terrified. They couldn't quite grasp what had happened out in the forest. _Voldemort_ had _asked_ _them_ to join him – two of the people Death Eaters would never consider fighting alongside, rather fight against. They weren't sure whether or not to tell Dumbledore about it, what would he do about it? What _could_ he do about it? In the end, they did tell the Headmaster and he assured them that their safety would be a top priority. James and Lily weren't sure what Dumbledore would be able to do, but they trusted the Headmaster and hoped he would keep his word.

The news about Severus Snape being a Death Eater was received without too much surprise. Those that knew him knew he was always going to be a Dark wizard. Those who didn't know him obviously didn't know how he would turn out, but believed the others when they said it wasn't a shock. To them, he was merely one more obstacle on the way to defeating Voldemort. The only one who took this revelation to heart was Lily. She had been best friends with him, after all. She had seen the good in him. Of course she knew that he had his dark side, but she never dreamed of him becoming a Death Eater.

The full moon was a vicious one and Remus wasn't sure if it was because he was alone for the first time in months, because he was worried about his friends, or because this job happened to be the case this month. Either way, when Harry Lupin opened up the shed the following morning, he saw that Charles would have his work cut out for him. Days later, Remus was still recovering from that night, though he was back at Sirius's flat rather than his parents' house. His boss was not pleased to see his employee bearing more injuries. The black eye Remus had after the Knockturn Alley fight had only infuriated Mr. Foster and the fact that his arm was in a sling did nothing to make his boss like him more.

The boys needed a break from their Order work and had decided to spend the weekend at the Potters'. Hannah was thrilled to have her son home and glad to see he and his friends were taking a well deserved break. In honour of their first night there, she was preparing an extravagant meal and absolutely refused to allow them to help when they offered. She went so far as to shoo them outside and magically lock the door in a way so that only she could open it. Sirius used this opportunity as a chance to show his friends something he had gone to get earlier.

"You're mental," Remus said, shaking his head in amazement. He was sitting on one of the lawn chairs in the Potters' expansive yard. His arm was still bound up in a sling and his face bruised. Charles decided it was good that he was spending the weekend there so he could check on his son's friend's injuries in case they acted up again. According to Sirius, Remus had been moaning in pain while he slept the night before, but Remus had no recollection if it.

Sirius looked offended. "No, I'm bloody brilliant."

"He's mental, Prongs, right?"

"I have to agree, Moony." James stood up and crossed to the shiny motorcycle Sirius was standing proudly beside.

"He's mental," Peter agreed, shaking his head in disbelief. "Why, in Merlin's name, would you want this? Can't you Apparate?"

"Of course I can, Wormtail! But Apparating is too fast, I like to take my time."

"Since when?" Remus scoffed. In the eight years he had known Sirius, the boy had been a blur except when he was doing his homework. Then he was about as slow as a Flobberworm trying to cross the Hogwarts' grounds.

"Watch it, Moony, or I'll break your other arm."

"And then I proceed to cause you bodily harm." Remus got to his feet and crossed the lawn to get a better look at the Muggle contraption. He should have known Sirius was up to something when he caught him reading some sort of manual that he quickly hid when his roommate entered the room. "You want to battle Muggle traffic? It makes people bitter."

"I know. I've heard your boss complain about it." Sirius patted the seat of the motorcycle affectionately, as if it was his child. "And I don't have to battle with traffic."

Peter raised a sceptical eyebrow. He seriously doubted that. "How do you plan on doing that? Riding it in the middle of the night when no one's out?"

Sirius raised his eyebrows and smirked dangerously. "Why don't you come for a ride with me, Wormtail? I can show you."

James shook his head furiously, moving to snatch the keys from Sirius's hand. Sirius, however, quickly hid them. "You're _not_ riding across my parents' lawn in that. I may be eighteen, but they'll murder me. And then you."

"You mean I'll get the flat to myself?" Remus piped up hopefully.

"I mean it, Moony, that other arm of yours is easily breakable."

"So? Mr. Potter's right inside. It wouldn't be broken long."

Peter had gotten up from his place on one of the chairs and crossed to his friends. "How do they live with each other?" he asked James seriously, folding his arms across his chest.

James shrugged. He had been wondering that himself. "I don't know. I feel bad for the landlady though. She must get so many complaints about the noise."

Remus and Sirius exchanged exasperated glances. "We don't argue _that_ much," Remus declared defensively.

James laughed loudly. "Really? Pete and I could write an anthology on all the arguements you've had."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You're exaggerating."

"Am I, Padfoot? Shall we, Wormtail?"

Peter began counting off on his fingers. "First year – Sirius is mad because Remus won't say why he came back to school looking like a Hippogriff trampled over him."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't about to tell him I was a werewolf, was I?"

"Second year – Sirius breaks the window in the dormitory and Remus accuses him of being the reason he was going to go to therapy one day."

"Like you weren't thinking the same thing, Prongs."

"Third year – Sirius threw his pillow with his shoe in it and Remus's head and then denied that he hadn't mean for his shoe to be in there."

"My shoe wasn't _supposed_ to be in there."

"Fourth year – Sirius and Remus argue because apparently Sirius was making Remus motion sick."

"Remus is _always_ sick, look at him now."

"Fifth year – don't even get me started on that… we all know what happened before OWLs."

"And, for the record James, Remus forgave me."

"Sixth year –"

"Okay, guys!" Remus quickly cut in before they were there all day listening to James and Peter. "We understand, we argue a lot."

"That's an understatement." James laughed.

"But did you notice how all of those arguements have one common factor?"

"They all end up with you chucking something at Sirius's head?" Peter suggested with a cheeky grin.

"_Sirius_ is the cause of them all."

"Because it's fun to see you fight back!" Sirius said cheerfully. Then, in a slightly pleading tone, he went on, "Come on, will one of you go for a ride with me on this thing."

James and Peter exchanged wary glances. There was no way either of them was getting on a moving Muggle contraption with Sirius steering it. Then the same thought seemed to appear in their minds at the same time. "Remus would!" James hastily sat Remus down on the seat and Sirius, who just wanted to try the motorcycle out, hopped on in front of him.

There was no bloody chance that Remus was going to ride on this thing. "What? No! Get me off this thing!"

"You'd better hold on, Remus," Sirius advised him as he revved the engine. When Remus made no move to do anything, Sirius glanced at him over his shoulder. "I mean that."

Terrified of what James had just pushed him into, Remus tightly wrapped his good arm around Sirius's middle, wondering what on earth was going to happen. "Hold on," Sirius warned again and Remus hated to hear just the faint hint of fear in his voice. If _Sirius _was nervous about this… they were doomed. Sirius turned the key again and Remus felt his stomach drop out of his body when he saw the ground was suddenly a lot farther beneath his feet than it had originally been.

It was then that Remus shouted something they never thought they'd hear him shout.

"Language, Moony!"

"Why didn't you tell me this thing flies?"

"It would spoil the surprise!" Sirius steered the motorcycle around, laughing to himself as Remus muttered several foul words, death wishes for Sirius, and pleas to survive under his breath. The cold air whipped about their faces, turning the tips of their ears red.

"Remind me to kill you when we get home," Remus warned his roommate as he shakily dismounted the motorcycle once they were back on the ground. His face was paler than usual and his hands were shaking.

Sirius chuckled and dismounted gracefully from the motorcycle. "Oh come on, your life would be so boring without me."

"I like boring. I _love_ boring." His voice had risen to a level of squeakiness they had never heard before and his hands were still trembling as he went to sit down on the lawn chair again.

"So," Sirius began once he was sure his roommate wasn't going to pass out on the spot. "Want to try it out, James?"

James, who wasn't quite as terrified of flying motorcycles as Remus was, accepted the offer. Of course, it helped that he knew what to expect when Sirius turned the key the second time and the ground was suddenly much farther behind him. When Sirius offered to let Peter try it out, he flat out refused, claiming there was no way he was going to get on a Muggle contraption that didn't stay firmly on the ground. Sirius only gave up on flying the motorcycle when the Potters called them inside for dinner.

After everything that had happened in the past few months, it was nice to have a day when they could act their age, be the eighteen year olds they were.

* * *

They were in trouble.

That much was clear.

What they were in trouble about, they didn't know.

When they arrived in the flat James and Lily shared together and saw the redhead sitting at the kitchen table with an absolutely deadly look in her eyes, they knew they were in for it. Remus, Sirius and Peter instinctively got behind James and Sirius gave his best friend and forceful shove forward, putting him in the path of danger. He struggled to get back for a moment while Sirius braced his shoulder against James's back, preventing him from doing so. If they were lucky, maybe the sight of her boyfriend would deflate some of the anger the woman had developed while they had been gone.

"Lily!" James burst out in his most cheerful voice, stepping forward and bending down to plant a kiss on her cheek. "How are you?"

"Livid," she replied bluntly.

James instantly recoiled; praying she didn't have her wand concealed anywhere where she could whip it out at a moment's notice. He had been at the receiving end of Lily Evans's hexes and the end result was him strongly resembling a girl. He was not eager for that to happen again. "W-what happened?"

"Petunia is getting married," the woman spat, as if it was the most disgusting phrase she had ever had to utter.

James couldn't stop his mouth from dropping open. So they _weren't_ in trouble. That was a relief. Though Lily was still unhappy about this and he knew he should probably be a good boyfriend and ask what was wrong with it. "Oh… shouldn't you be happy for her?"

That was the wrong that to say.

"Happy for her?" Lily fumed. "James! She's marrying an absolutely hideous man!"

James couldn't understand why Lily was so furious. He knew the two sisters hadn't been on speaking terms in years, but surely a wedding would help to reconcile it? Choosing his words carefully, he then asked, "What's he like?"

"Disgusting, horrible. I've met him a few times and he's so… so… _ugh_, he's awful, James. Even my father couldn't stand him."

James rarely heard Lily speak about her parents ever since they were killed in a car accident before their seventh year. The fact that Lily would specifically point out that Mr. Evans hated the man must have meant that her sister's fiancé was truly terrible. James often wondered what Mr. Evans would have thought of _him_.

"What's the bloke's name?" Sirius asked curiously, deciding that it was safe to speak now that he was sure Lily wasn't about to hex them all.

"Vernon Dursley," Lily spat out, as if his name was a disease.

James grimaced at the name. "He sounds like a real charmer."

"Is he really that bad, Lily?" Remus asked tentatively, though taking a small step back when she rounded on him. Peter did the same. There was something utterly frightening about that woman when she was enraged – and they had battled Death Eaters.

"He's so pompous," she snarled. "And, of course, because he's in the family now he knows where I went to school and calls it my _abnormality_."

"Want me to beat him up for you, Lily?" Sirius asked in a phony tough voice, though the grin that was on his face faltered for a moment when Lily brought her glare to him. He was relieved when she saw the corners of her mouth quirk up into the ghost of a smile.

"I don't think Petunia would take well to you beating up her fiancé."

"I thought you hated her?" Peter asked, befuddled. Lily never spoke affectionately of her older sister, so he always assumed that Lily hated her too much to care whether or not Sirius beat up her fiancé.

"I don't _hate_ her, Peter," Lily explained calmly. "We just don't get along. I _do_ want her to be happy and, unfortunately, _Vernon Dursley_ makes her happy." She held out the letter that the boys had not noticed she'd been clutching the entire time. James took it and read the contents.

It was not an invitation to the wedding, by any means. Petunia would as soon as die than allow her _freakish_ sister attend her wedding. James was personally glad. If Lily went, that meant he would have to go with her and he was not sure he could tolerate Lily's sister or the woman's soon-to-be husband. He might unwittingly hex them… It was more of a letter telling Lily that Petunia she was getting married just for the sake of her knowing. James couldn't deny there was a certain gloating tone to the note.

"You may not hate your sister," he said to Lily, handing her the note. "But I do." When Lily looked pointedly at him, he cleared his throat and hastily added, "Erm, do you _want_ to go to her wedding?"

"I _would_ like to see my sister get married." Lily dropped the letter onto the table and stood up, crossing to the kitchen counter, where there was a pot of coffee she must have brewed earlier. "But that's not going to happen, is it?"

James bit his bottom lip. He knew Lily really wanted to see her sister get married. No matter how cruel Petunia had been to her, they had been something of best friends when they were children. And Petunia was her bloody _sister_. Even if she wasn't wanted at the wedding, James would make sure she got there. He may want to kill himself, or Vernon, the whole time, but he would ensure that Lily got to see her sister walk down the aisle.

After all, it wasn't as if their parents could be there.

* * *

Lily knew that the moment Petunia saw her at her wedding, her big day would be wrecked. This was precisely the reason Lily hovered in the background, concealed by a rather beefy man she could only assume was a relative of Vernon's. She wanted Petunia's actual ceremony to at least be happy. Lily knew this wouldn't happen if the woman discovered her younger sister had shown up. Oh, Lily didn't want to imagine the scene that would erupt if that happened. James hovered behind her, one hand resting lightly on her shoulder. He knew Lily was concerned, probably wondering why she had bothered to show up.

James had to admit that he admired her greatly for this. Even if it was likely that Petunia would throw a fit the moment she saw her little sister, Lily still wanted to see what was supposed to be the happiest moment of her sister's life. James knew nothing about the bonds of siblings, being an only child, but he imagined that it was something like the bond he had with his friends – Sirius in particular. He had been tempted to take his best friend up on the offer to room with him, yet James had his own plans and they involved the woman he was with right now. Being at a wedding put certain ideas in his head.

He may have been terrified when Sirius brought up the idea of marrying Lily at first, but that had been months ago. They had still been in school at the time. Now it didn't seem like such a bad idea. It was actually one that he could grow to really love.

James's eyes scoured the Muggle church and rested on the man standing at the altar. From a man's point of view, Vernon looked soft, though that could be attributed to his enormous middle. But he looked like he could yell quite a lot, but never live up to his threats. The bushy moustache and lack of neck made the corners of James's mouth turn up into a smirk. He tried putting himself in the shoes of a woman now, hoping that would help him understand the appeal of a man like that. Vernon didn't look like the most handsome of men and not the friendliest of people.

Then again, from how Lily described her, Petunia wasn't the friendliest of people either. They must have been the perfect match.

Glancing down at Lily, James saw the faint frown creased between her eyebrows and the worry in her eyes. He squeezed her shoulder encouragingly. "You're doing nothing wrong," he told her quietly.

"Tell that to Petunia when she sees me," Lily muttered, staring determinedly at the altar where her sister would soon be.

"Petunia should know better than to disinvite her only sister to her wedding," James snarled. Then, thoughtfully, he added, "Though, maybe one of them will get sick of the other and this _won't_ be her only wedding."

"James!" Lily snapped reproachfully. However much Lily couldn't stand Vernon, she ignored the part of her that agreed with James. Maybe one of them _would_ get tired of the other and decide to call it quits. But Lily wanted her sister to be happy and if, for some wild reason she would never fully understand, Vernon Dursley made her happy… Lily was just going to have to accept that.

James shrugged; a cheeky smile plastered on his face and abruptly changed the subject. "Did I tell you how beautiful you look?" It was true, the dark green dress she was wearing was lovely and her hair in light curls, James could barely take his eyes off of her.

Red crept onto Lily's face and she shook her head. "No you didn't and thank you. You look very handsome yourself."

"I try," James joked nonchalantly. When the organs started playing the Wedding March, James and Lily directed their attention to the doors of the church where Petunia would make her entrance. It wasn't long before Petunia stepped through the doorway and, as was customary, everyone stood to get a glimpse of the bride.

Petunia looked happy, that much was clear. If this Vernon who Lily despised so much made Petunia happy, that was the most anyone could hope for. The ceremony was fast, which, in James's opinion, was the best part about it. He couldn't stand listening to Vernon's pompous, smug voice as he recited the wedding vows. Petunia's voice was less grating than her new husband's, but no less smug, as if every woman in the world would want to be where she was standing.

James could see how Lily couldn't stand her.

When the ceremony concluded, the gathering moved into the catering hall across the street. It took some convincing on James's part to get Lily to agree to go. He knew she wanted to, even just for a moment to offer her sister congratulations, but she couldn't bring herself to go for fear of being chucked out. But James knew she would regret not going, maybe not right then, but soon she would. James knew _he_ didn't want to go, but he would for Lily. He would only do something like this for her.

There was a line of people waiting to congratulate the bride and groom, as well as their family. James and Lily stood at the end of it, James's hand resting reassuringly around Lily's waist. "Look, if it makes you feel better, what kind of scene can she cause with all these people around?"

Lily's face was dark. "You don't know her like I do, James."

"Yes, but from how you described her, she seems like someone who wants to keep up appearances," James reasoned, moving with the flow of the line. "And how would it look to the groom's family if the bride suddenly caused a scene?"

Lily said nothing. James had an excellent point. Petunia would never lose her temper with Vernon's family so close by. They would think she was mental. Maybe she _could_ do this. James and Lily ended up being the last to approach the bride and groom and, when they did, they could instantly see the looks of horror cross the newlyweds' faces. Had this been any other time, James may have found it funny, but he knew this would upset Lily.

"What are you doing here?" Petunia hissed, a fake, painful smile plastered on her fake.

"I came to see my sister get married," Lily replied coolly. Maybe she and James had been wrong, maybe Petunia _would_ cause a scene. Sweet Merlin… she had a feeling this was going to end badly.

Petunia still kept the fake smile on, though her voice was getting increasingly hysterical. "You weren't invited."

"I won't stay for the party if you don't want me to."

"Good, because there's no room for you. _Either_ of you." She gave James a pointed look, one that was clearly wondering who he was.

James obviously noticed this and stepped forward, extending a hand for one of them to shake. Both Vernon and Petunia stared at it like it was diseased and James quickly withdrew his hand. "How rude of me. I'm James Potter, Lily's boyfriend. Congratulations to the both of you."

Lily barely had time to marvel at the fact that James could go from biting to polite in a matter of seconds. Vernon quickly spat out, "You're another one of those freaks, aren't you?"

People had begun staring, Vernon's family in particular. This was going to turn out exactly as Lily had imagined, and dreaded. She could already see the purple tinge appearing on Vernon's face, a danger sign.

"Freak?" James repeated thoughtfully. "No… I'm actually studying to be a doctor. I don't think that's freakish at all."

"A doctor?" Petunia said skeptically.

"Yes. It's really a fascinating career. What is it you do, Vernon?"

"I manufacture and sell drills," Vernon replied, drawing himself up proudly, as if everyone would want his job.

James studied the man's large face with an unreadable expression. "I see." Shrugging, he went on, "Well, the world _does_ need drills and what not. That's a good career, Vernon."

To anyone who didn't know James, the condescending tone in his voice would not have been recognised. But Lily knew James too well to miss the tone and recognised the fact that James thought Vernon's chosen profession was ridiculous. "Well," James then piped up, sticking both his hands out and wringing Vernon's and then Petunia's, "We must be going. The ceremony was lovely, have a nice life together!"

Thoroughly surprised by her boyfriend's quick dismissal of the two, Lily was dragged away by James, though she did manage to catch the stunned looks on the Dursleys' faces.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Seventy Seven: Wintery Revelations**_

"Did I ever tell you what a wonderful landlady you are, Mrs. Sherman?" Sirius said happily one evening when the landlady appeared at the door with a tray of Christmas biscuits fresh out of the oven.

"Yesterday, I believe," the woman said with a laugh. Sirius and Remus really were the nicest tenants she'd ever had in this flat.

"Well, I'm saying it again." Sirius set the tray down on the kitchen counter.

"He has a point," Remus piped up from the kitchen table, where he was currently reading through a letter from his parents. "Anyone else would've chucked him out by now."

Sirius rolled his eyes at his roommate. "Very funny, Remus."


	77. Wintery Revelations

Chapter Seventy Seven  
Wintery Revelations

"What are you doing home already?"

Sirius had just walked into the flat, his cloak slung over his shoulder. He had just returned from his day of training at the Auror Academy, where he had spent the majority of the time working on altering his appearance. One of the most important skills that an Auror had to learn was disguising himself. He had not been successful in the slightest and had ended up with lots of hair growing out of his ears instead of his head. He had stayed this way until Moody finally took it upon himself to correct the problem. Sirius kicked off his shoes as he stepped into the living room and discovered his roommate sitting on the couch, hunched over a newspaper, quill in hand.

Remus said nothing, an instant indication that he was not okay. Sirius gathered up his shoes and set them by the door, next to Remus's. Walking further into the room, he asked, "Remus? Did you hear me?"

His roommate nodded jerkily as he scratched his chin with the quill, black ink staining the spot. His eyes were still focused on the paper he was reading. This behaviour made Sirius think for a terrible moment that something bad had happened; that Remus had opened up a copy of the _Prophet_ and discovered someone they knew was dead. Sweet Merlin, what if it was James or Peter or Lily? But that wasn't the _Prophet_, he saw with immense relief. It was a Muggle newspaper. "What's up?" Sirius persisted. "Why aren't you still at work?"

"I got fired," Remus muttered almost inaudibly, turning the quill over between his fingers before circling something that Sirius now suspected was a Want Advertisement. It was then that he saw there were several other ads circled.

Sirius hated to admit that he wasn't surprised. Mr. Foster had been fed up with his employee calling out sick so many times and always coming back to work with some odd injury. Sirius had a feeling the last Order mission had done his friend in. Remus had emerged from a fight with a Dark wizard in Knockturn Alley with two of his teeth cracked in half and hadn't had a chance to repair the damage before he was due to help open the bookstore. The problem was fixed now; both his teeth were repaired, but obviously that wasn't enough to save him from getting fired. "I'm sorry, mate." Even if he was expecting it, Sirius was still sorry. Remus deserved the job more than anyone else and it wasn't his fault he was always sick.

Remus shook his head dismissively as he continued to scan the paper. "Forget about it. I hated working there anyway."

"But it was still a job," Sirius reminded him quietly. Merlin knew he didn't make any money at the Academy. He was relying on his inheritance to pay the rent.

"And I can always get another job." Remus stood up and walked past Sirius into the kitchen, where he set the newspaper down on the counter. "James stopped by before; he wanted to know if we'd meet him at the Three Broomsticks later."

"What for?"

"I don't know. I assume to just hang out." Resting his quill in an inkbottle, he turned back to Sirius. "I said we'd pick up Peter at his shop on the way over."

Sirius's eyes suddenly brightened. "Hey, why don't you work at Peter's place? He just opened it, he'll need the help!"

"Yeah, and then when the full moon comes I leave him short an employee? I wouldn't do that to him."

"You had no problem doing it to Mr. Foster."

"He was never my friend and, anyway, look at where that got me." Unemployed, that's where. He honestly wouldn't mind working for Peter, but he didn't want to do anything that would send Peter's new business into an early grave. "Look, just let me figure this out for myself."

Sirius had half a mind to go behind Remus's back and talk to Peter about giving him a job, but he wouldn't do it. If Remus wanted to figure this out for himself, then Sirius wasn't going to get in his way.

* * *

Sirius and copious amounts of firewhiskey was a dangerous combination. They should have known back when they were thirteen and, their first time at the Three Broomsticks, Sirius asked for a firewhiskey rather than a butterbeer that it would be trouble. As a matter of fact, he hadn't even drank that much, it was after the third glass when he started going a bit loopy. James, Remus and Peter, all of whom had drank less than he had, didn't see anything wrong with their friend, other than him being slightly more cheerful than was normal. It was only when he started singing a song he had heard on the Muggle wireless about werewolves at the top of his lungs that they decided it would be best to get him out of the pub.

People were beginning to stare.

It took the combined effort of James and Remus to keep Sirius on his feet as they dragged him through Hogsmeade to find a place to Apparate. The whole time they pulled him through the High Street he continued to sing that song. It was even more difficult to Apparate when it seemed that Sirius didn't want to hold onto either of them. Then they needed the assistance of Peter to disappear from the village. Sirius couldn't slip out of the grips of three people. When they arrived on the appropriate street and found Sirius's flat, they had to be careful not to wake Mrs. Sherman as they made their way to the upstairs apartment.

"Hurry up," James hissed as Remus fumbled for his keys. Sirius had finally stopped singing, but it was only a matter of time before he started up again. Once inside, James instantly disappeared into the kitchen, looking for the appropriate potion ingredients to counteract Sirius's drunkenness. Thank Merlin for his Healer training. He wasn't working in a ward that was associated with anything like that, but he had learned a bit from watching Healers who did handle it.

"Oh, really, Padfoot?" he heard Peter mutter from the living room.

"What's wrong, Wormtail?"

"Sirius thought it'd be fun to take a jaunt around the house as a dog," came Remus's exasperated voice. "Oh, Padfoot, not on the rug…"

James shook his head. This may very well be the last time they ever went to the Three Broomsticks. When he had nearly completed the potion there was a knock at the door and, glancing over his shoulder, he saw Peter go to answer it.

"Hi, Lily," Peter greeted before Remus shouted from the living room, "No, don't let her in yet!"

But it was too late. Sirius the dog had bounded over to the bewildered redhead. "When did you get a dog, Remus?"

"I didn't," he replied hastily, grabbing the fur on the back of Padfoot's neck and pulling him away from James's girlfriend. "He's a horrible stray we found in the streets." Before anyone could stop what happened, or even predict it happening, Sirius materialized, his hand furiously rubbing the back of his head. "Did you have to pull my hair so hard, Moony?" Even with too much firewhiskey in his system, he was able to detect the looks of horror on the three faces in the room.

"_Sirius?_" Lily breathed disbelievingly.

Remus swore under his breath. This was exactly why he didn't want Peter to let her in. They never knew what Sirius would do when he was sober. With firewhiskey digesting in him, his behaviour would only become more unpredictable. James had come into the room, the completed potion in hand, though he nearly dropped it when he saw the horrified looks on his friends' faces. "What's going on?"

"Animagus?" Lily hissed, rounding furiously on James first and then on Sirius. "_How_ are you an Animagus?" Suddenly a look of realisation dawned upon Lily's face. "_Padfoot_! Sweet Merlin, that's what that means! But then…" She stared at James and Peter, both of whom were glaring daggers at Sirius. It seemed that every time Sirius had too much firewhiskey something disastrous happened. First losing the Marauder's Map and now this…

"Remind us to murder you later, Sirius," Peter spat, sending his friend an angry glare. They were in for it now.

"Yes, we're Animagi, Lily," James said calmly, though the anger was evident behind his eyes. He hadn't planned on telling Lily about this just yet and, when he told her, it certainly would have been in a different manner.

"But… for how long?"

"Fifth year." James nodded towards the sofa. "You'd better sit down for this." Lily didn't hesitate; she was seated immediately, waiting rather impatiently for one of them to explain.

"Explain then," she shot at them. "Why on earth did you become Animagi? You _know_ that's illegal don't you?" She doubted they had gone through the trouble of registering themselves.

"Of course we do. We remember McGonagall said that." James raised his hands as Lily shifted angrily in her seat. "Before you get mad, can you at least hear me out and understand why we did this?"

Lily nodded stiffly.

James hesitated for a moment, looking between Remus and Peter, both of whom were wearing looks that were telling him to just get this over with. It would be over quickly if James just got on with it. "Do you know how werewolves can hurt people, but not animals?"

"Of course I do, but…" Lily's eyes widened in realisation as she looked at Remus and then at the others. Remus had told her a year ago that he was a werewolf, after he had fainted in the hallway from the effects of the full moon. Never had she thought of what those transformations truly must be like, how horrible and painful they must be. She knew it had to hurt, but she didn't expect something would have to intervene. And werewolves were only a danger to humans. James, Peter and Sirius were all Animagi. "You became Animagi to help Remus?"

"You never saw him after transformations," James told her seriously. "If you did, you probably would've done the same thing."

Lily shook her head in reluctant amazement. She should have been furious with them for breaking the law in such a way. They could have permanently hurt themselves, or even _killed_ themselves in the attempt to become Animagi. So why wasn't she mad at them? Maybe it was because that had to be highest act of loyalty she had ever heard of.

* * *

Christmastime fell without the usual cheer and anticipation it usually did. December was as cold and wet as it had ever been; the breeding of the Dementors did nothing to improve the weather. The Death Eaters had been as vicious as ever. The Order had been sent to several spots where the Dark Mark had been shot, finding more horrors than any of them, even Moody, were prepared to witness. The worst of it was stumbling across a school bus that had been transporting students to the zoo that had been blown to bits by some particularly angry Death Eaters. No one talked at Headquarters that night, everyone's minds filled with images of the ill-fated children on that bus.

James and Sirius had their training to deal with in addition to their Order work and they seemed to constantly be exhausted. James was only lucky in the aspect that his training was nearly complete. He would be a full-fledged Healer by February of the next year. Sirius, however, had years of Auror training ahead of him and was beginning to think that the war would be over by the time that ever happened. He had gotten a side job to help pay the rent in his flat and was working at Zonko's on the days when he didn't have training. It was only for a few days and the pay wasn't good at all, but it was money and a job. He would take whatever he could get.

Remus had unknowingly applied for a job at Peter's novelty store and gotten the position. Remus didn't like relying on his friends for everything, had to admit that he enjoyed working at the shop. Peter was a good boss and knew what he was doing. Remus could attribute this to the fact that his father had worked in the Magical Menagerie. Peter must have heard a lot of shop talk when he was home for the holidays. He knew how to talk to prospective customers, work with those he had employed and it made him happy. That was something they had seen very little of lately. Peter never appeared happy anymore.

"Did I ever tell you what a wonderful landlady you are, Mrs. Sherman?" Sirius said happily one evening when the landlady appeared at the door with a tray of Christmas biscuits fresh out of the oven.

"Yesterday, I believe," the woman said with a laugh. Sirius and Remus really were the nicest tenants she'd ever had in this flat.

"Well, I'm saying it again." Sirius set the tray down on the kitchen counter.

"He has a point," Remus piped up from the kitchen table, where he was currently reading through a letter from his parents. "Anyone else would've chucked him out by now."

Sirius rolled his eyes at his roommate. "Very funny, Remus."

"I need to get back downstairs. Floors don't clean themselves. Enjoy the biscuits." The woman disappeared down the steps and Sirius instantly helped himself to a biscuit shaped like a Christmas tree, complete with green sprinkles and tiny, colourful candies that acted as the ornaments.

"These are better than the House Elves' biscuits!" Sirius commended joyfully, wiping some green sprinkles off the corner of his mouth before going for another.

"Save me some, will you?"

Sirius nodded, though he could very well eat the entire tray that night, but he knew that was a death wish. Finishing the biscuit, he held the tray out to Remus, who took a Santa-shaped biscuit. "So, holiday plans?" Sirius asked curiously.

"Not really. I'll probably just stop by my parents'."

"Mind if I come along? I had a dream about your mum's Chocolate Frog cake last night."

Remus laughed. His mother's Chocolate Frog cake was, indeed, dream worthy. Then, with a smirk, he innocently asked, "What? You don't want to go to the Black Family's Christmas extravaganza?"

Sirius grimaced at the thought of his family's annual Christmas party, something he had not attended since he was eleven and had no intention of ever going to again. Not unless he wanted to spend the whole night hiding out in his old room. He knew his friend was joking, just trying to get under his skin and so he played along. "Sure, I was going to spin by there on my flying motorcycle! Why don't I bring my friend the werewolf along?"

"Oh sure, your parents would love that." Remus set down his letter and looked up at Sirius. "Any chance they'd have my head join your House Elves' heads?"

Sirius looked thoughtful for a moment. "I think so." Sitting down at the table and eyeing the biscuits with longing eyes, he proposed, "We need to decorate this place!"

Remus looked around the kitchen; he didn't see anything wrong with it. It was nice, hardly in need of decorating. "Err why?"

"For Christmas!" Sirius shook his head in amazement. "Honestly, weren't you always the smart one?"

"I'm running on little more than caffeine right now, Sirius, I don't feel like being the smart one." Remus had been out doing patrols around Knockturn Alley until four in the morning the previous night and he hadn't been able to sleep when he finally got home. It didn't take Sirius long to realise that was why his friend would be unusually slow on the uptake.

"So go take a nap," he suggested. Remus shook his head; now that he was awake he couldn't go to sleep. Sirius shrugged it off, knowing better than to argue about it. "So what do you say? We get James, Lily and Peter over here and make this place festive?"

Within an hour James, Lily and Peter had arrived with whatever Christmas decorations they could scrounge up. Sirius had hurried out to the store around the corner to find whatever else he could. He absolutely insisted on stringing up dozens upon dozens of lights, so long as it didn't become a fire hazard. Lily, who was slightly frightened of being forever tangled in the mass of lights, volunteered to make hot chocolate in the kitchen, something the boys needed no persuading in letting her do.

"Padfoot," James began in a measured voice after twenty minutes of untangling balls of lights. They had been so neatly packed in their boxes and yet, the moment Sirius got his hands on them, they became one large mess.

"Prongs," Sirius replied in the same way.

"How many strings of lights did you buy, exactly?" He must have opened fifteen boxes already. Sirius's flat wasn't that big. If he and Remus hoped to get around easily, without tangling themselves up in an endless mass of wires and toppling over every time they wanted to go out, they would need to cut back on the lights. He looked to Peter, who was battling with a ball of lights until Remus took them and began patiently untangling them. He had always been good at that. Peter remembered him volunteering to undo the knot in his shoelaces during their second year.

"Twenty?" Sirius replied questioningly. _He_ wasn't even sure how many he bought, but there were just so many different colours, he just had to see what they all looked like lit up at once.

"Twenty?" Remus gasped out as he fought with a box of ornaments that would not budge. "Padfoot, do you want the place to burn down?"

Sirius was thoughtful. "No…"

"Then hand over fifteen strings." Remus held out his arms expectantly, waiting for Sirius to drop the bunch of lights into them.

Sirius instead burst out laughing. "Aww, you want a hug, Moony?"

Remus rolled his eyes; he should have been expecting that kind of response. He stood up. "I think I'll go help Lily in the kitchen."

"The lights, Padfoot?" James repeated. Sirius, grumbling mutinously, began collecting the strings of lights and returning them to their boxes. He supposed five strings was a good amount, they could put a few on the tree and string some around the living room. "So," James began as he untangled the wires, "How are things at the shop, Peter?"

Peter, who was observing a shiny orb that had dancing Hippogriffs on it, looked up. "Great, business is doing really well. Who would've thought so many people loved novelties so much?"

"With Christmas so close, you must be doing even better," Sirius chimed in before swearing as the entire string of lights went out. "Why does that happen? One goes out and then they all have to?"

"To annoy you?" James suggested with a cheeky grin, earning nothing but a shove in the shoulder from Sirius.

Several hours later, and by several hours it was two in the morning, they had finally finished decorating. Seeing as how they had started early in the day, Lily suggested that it was verging on ridiculous that it had taken so long and they should have just done it all by magic. Sirius, however, wanted the Muggle experience of decorating, which meant absolutely no magic and one when bulb went out in the lights, causing the rest to; he was going to find that bulb the Muggle way. But it had been fun, a day filled with no stress.

They hadn't had a day like this in a long time.

Christmas Day involved visiting several different houses, lugging several presents around until they could be dropped off and eating more food than any of them thought was humanly possible. And this included Sirius and his unnaturally stable stomach. He had gone along with Remus to his parents' house, where Mr. and Mrs. Lupin were planning on having a quiet holiday, though they were extremely pleased to see their son and his friend. Much to Sirius's gratification, Anna Lupin had made her special Chocolate Frog cake and insisted on the two boys taking it home with them.

Neither Sirius nor Remus even bothered to do the traditional 'oh no, that's okay' before jumping on the chance to have some home baked goods in the flat.

The Potters were also having a quiet holiday of their own, in which Lily joined them. Hannah and Charles loved their son's girlfriend and showed this by treating her as if she was already their daughter-in-law and not just James's girlfriend. Willie the House Elf had prepared a large meal for the family and was thrilled when Mr. Potter presented her with a pretty ornament of theirs that he'd known she'd had her eye on for years. The House Elf proudly hung it up in her bedroom off the kitchen.

Christmas at the Pettigrews, however, was not a cheerful time. This was the first holiday since the death of John Pettigrew and neither Peter nor his mother was very keen on celebrating. The two merely had a nice dinner together before Peter set out to join his friends on their way to Dorcas Meadows' home, where the Order was congregating for the first time in a capacity that did not involve fighting Death Eaters. No, Dumbledore had thought it would be fun to have a Christmas party in an attempt to lift the Order's spirits a bit.

Dorcas's small home seemed cramped and full to bursting with people, especially with the more than noticeable appearance of Hagrid. The half-giant was standing happily by the fireplace with a mug of mulled mead in hand, chatting animatedly, not to mention slightly drunkenly, with Cardaroc Dearborn. Aberforth Dumbledore had broken himself away from a tray of treacle tart and made his way over to the boys and Lily, who were talking to Marlene McKinnon about an article they had all recently seen in the _Daily Prophet_.

Aberforth took the empty space between Remus and Peter and he abruptly turned to the former. "How are you feeling, kid?" he asked, knowing that the full moon had been two weeks earlier. There were very few things Aberforth Dumbledore regretted doing, but behaving nastily to one of his own comrades was on the list. Remus was a good fighter and a good person; he had proven that time and time again.

Remus was clearly taken by surprise. Aberforth had said barely ten words to him since the night the Order learned about his secret. "Okay," he told the older man. He had felt like absolute rubbish the day leading up to the full moon and had opted out of an Order meeting because of it, something he normally would never do. But he was feeling better now. Aberforth nodded and continued on his way around the room.

It wasn't long before someone got it into their head to take a picture of the group. Seeing as Remus was the one who always seemed to have his camera at the right moment, he set up the camera before squeezing himself in wherever he could as the others waited for the flash to go off, forever immortalizing the Order of the Phoenix. When the flash did go off, there was a group of smiling people, all grinning cheerfully at the camera, for the moment able to forget what it was they all had to go through. For the moment they could just be happy and enjoy the holidays.

They didn't know just how quickly that smiling group would diminish.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Seventy Eight: Two Deaths Too Many**_

"What's happened, Albus?" Elphias Doge asked the moment the four had settled themselves. The man seemed to pale when he caught the furious and upset look on Dumbledore's face. Dumbledore rarely ever became so visibly upset. Something awful must have happened.

"We've just returned from the McKinnons'," Dumbledore informed them gravely. It was only then that the others noticed that Marlene was absent from the assembly. No one had found that strange, or ominous, until now.

"What did you find?" Sirius asked from his seat beside James on the floor. He hoped nothing that happened to the woman.


	78. Two Deaths Too Many

Chapter Seventy Eight  
Two Deaths Too Many

Nearly all the members of the Order of the Phoenix sat silently in the home of Edgar Bones, waiting rather impatiently for the others to arrive. It was the middle of the night in the middle of snowy January and they had all been awoken by Patronuses bearing the announcement to get to Edgar's home as quickly as possible. Obviously something had happened and no one wasted any time in hurrying to Edgar's. They were all in their night clothes. Some were slumped in the uncomfortable chairs around the dining room table, while others had curled up in the two armchairs, praying to catch a few more winks before the others arrived.

"Does anyone know what this is about?" James asked before breaking into a heavy yawn. He was seated on the floor, leaning back against the couch where Lily sat and Remus slept, slumped against the couch arm. Lily, her motherly instincts taking over, took one of the pillows and gently pulled Remus's head up and slipped the pillow between his head and the arm. The full moon had only been the night before and Sirius had had every intention of sneaking out to go to the meeting alone, but he had been caught by his roommate, who insisted on coming along.

James hoped someone else had gotten a more detailed message than he had. Unfortunately, no one else had.

"Did I miss anything?"

James looked around to see Remus had woken up and was looking around the room with half opened eyes. James shook his head. "Nope, we're still waiting for the others to get here. Go back to sleep; I'll wake you when they get here."

There was no time, however, for Remus to fall back asleep, as there were several cracks announcing the arrivals of those they had been waiting for. Dumbledore, Moody, Dorcas Meadows and Benjy Fenwick entered the room, all looking grim. Moody, Dorcas and Benjy also looked hurt. There was a trail of blood dripping down the right side of Moody's already considerably scarred face. Benjy was cradling his left wrist delicately and Dorcas had a limp now. Gideon and Fabian instantly got up from their seats at the dining room table to let the two sit.

"What's happened, Albus?" Elphias Doge asked the moment the four had settled themselves. The man seemed to pale when he caught the furious and upset look on Dumbledore's face. Dumbledore rarely ever became so visibly upset. Something awful must have happened.

"We've just returned from the McKinnons'," Dumbledore informed them gravely. It was only then that the others noticed that Marlene was absent from the assembly. No one had found that strange, or ominous, until now.

"What did you find?" Sirius asked from his seat beside James on the floor. He hoped nothing that happened to the woman.

"The Dark Mark was over her house," Dorcas burst out, tears streaming down her face. She paused a moment to collect herself and then went on. "The Death Eaters got them all – Marlene, her husband, her little boy."

The silence that fell over the group was a heavy one. Marlene hadn't been an old woman by any means. She had just gotten married only four years ago, given birth to her little boy Julian just two years before. She couldn't be dead. The woman was a fighter. No one could imagine her dying so easily.

"The whole house was destroyed," Moody barked furiously. Never had any of them seen him so mad. "The Dark Mark was over what was _left_ of her house. She didn't go down easily."

"How could they kill them all?" Alice breathed; her eyes were wide and red. She didn't understand it. Mr. McKinnon and the little boy hadn't done anything to the Death Eaters. How could they kill a little boy?

"We think they used the two as bait to get to Marlene," Benjy spat, utterly disgusted. "From the looks of her husband… they used the Cruciatus Curse on him, a lot. The little boy…" Benjy's voice caught in his throat. He couldn't even begin to describe what Julian McKinnon had looked like when they stumbled upon him. That would draw out a mother's rage, no problem. Marlene was dead. They knew there was no chance they would all make it out of this war, but _Marlene?_ It just didn't feel real.

"What do we do now?" Lily asked quietly, her eyes red.

"How about we find the ones who did it and make them pay," Sirius suggested hotly. Death Eaters had killed Marlene's whole family! It wasn't enough that they just got her; they had to go after her son and her husband. What kind of sick extremes would they keep going to so they could prove their point?

"And how are you going to know who it was that killed them?" Benjy questioned shortly, shifting in his seat so he was facing Sirius. "None of us was there when it happened; we have nothing to go off of. Not their behaviours, their spell casting techniques, no voices. _How_ do you suggest we fight them?"

"So we let them get away with it?"

"Calm down, Padfoot," James advised under his breath. It wasn't going to help anyone if Sirius lost his temper.

"We will not let them get away with this, Sirius," Dumbledore told him calmly. Only Dumbledore could be so calm when everyone around him was verging on hysterics. The Headmaster was upset; they knew this despite the fact that he masked it so well at the moment. "We will be investigating. Alastor has already begun this."

Moody nodded fervently. "Any Aurors here are expected to help," Moody warned them all darkly. "That includes trainees," he added with a glance to Sirius, Alice and Frank. "Any Death Eaters we find, we learn what we can from them. Odds are there were plenty of them involved in this. Outnumbering Marlene was one of the only ways they could ever kill her."

* * *

Two days later there was a quiet funeral service held for Marlene and her family. The Order was present, both as friends and as colleagues. It was unbearable to sit through. There were her family members, sobbing uncontrollably, trying desperately to understand why this fate had befallen the woman and her family. One witch, Marlene's mother, lost control completely when she saw the casket of her grandson, little Julian McKinnon. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter felt uncomfortable there. They had no doubt admired the woman and could safely call her their friend, but they hadn't been nearly as close with her as the rest of the Order was. They had just wanted to pay their respects.

It was a relief when the service was over. The boys and Lily could escape the crying family after telling them how sorry they were. They were only lucky that no one was in the right mind to ask how they even knew Marlene in the first place. They weren't sure they could come up with a sufficient excuse on the spot, at least not one that anyone would believe. They weren't nearly old enough to be schoolmates of hers. It was awful that they had to do this, go to the woman's funeral. Even worse, they had to go to the funeral of her husband and her son at the same time. It seemed that Voldemort would stop at nothing to get what he wanted.

Moody's idea of investigating their murders turned out to be more difficult than he had originally planned. He was ruthless at it, going to any lengths to find out what he could, but there were no living witnesses of the attack. Marlene's neighbors hadn't heard anything, which made Moody consider that a Silencing Charm of some sort had been placed around the house or the victims. Moody liked to think that the charm had been placed on the victims; it would make everything more painful for them. Sirius, Frank, Alice and the other Aurors that were part of the Order worked alongside the man, hoping to find something that would aid them, but all their searches proved fruitless.

Despite their determined attitudes, it seemed that Marlene's murderers would get away with it.

"How's Healer training going?" Sirius asked his best friend one day in the middle of February. They had been on a walk through Hogsmeade when it started snowing violently, forcing them to duck into the Hog's Head for cover. They now sat at the bar where Aberforth Dumbledore greeted them with an indifferent grunt and dropped two mugs of butterbeers in front of them.

"Brilliantly, actually," James said, glad there was truth to his words. Healing came naturally to him and his father was extraordinarily helpful whenever he had questions and didn't want to bother Healer Smethwyck with them. "Smethwyck says it's just a matter of weeks now before I'm no longer a trainee."

Sirius sipped his drink. "Lucky, I've got years to go before that."

"Well you _did_ want to be an Auror." James shifted on the stool, taking another gulp of his butterbeer. "So… err… I need some advice."

Sirius raised a curious eyebrow. James sounded unnaturally serious and uncertain. This should be interesting. "What about?"

"Lily and I… we've been going out for over a year now and I was thinking of…"

"Spit it out, James."

"I want to ask her to marry me."

Sirius choked on his butterbeer. Swallowing with great difficulty, he coughed for a moment before turning to his friend with a grin plastered on his face. "Really? That's brilliant, mate!" It was about time. James had been in love with the woman since he was fifteen and now that they were finally in a good place, why shouldn't they get married?

"Yeah, but I don't know how to do it or when." That was what James was stuck on. He knew he wanted to marry her; with the way things had been going in this war lately, there probably wasn't that much time to think on it. He just didn't know how to do it. He didn't want to make it some overly romantic gesture. Lily wouldn't go for that and it wasn't him either. Hell, he had been nervous and completely _un_romantic the first time he kissed her. A wedding proposal was much more serious than that.

Sirius considered his friend's question. From what he knew of Lily and just how much she loved his best friend, James could just catch her in passing and ask her to marry him like he was asking her if it was going to rain. He didn't think James had to make any sort of big deal about it. "Just… feel the moment, I suppose," he suggested with a shrug of the shoulders. "I'm sure however you pop the question, Lily will love it."

"I guess you're – what?" James was distracted by a faint muffled voice coming from inside his pocket. The only thing he had in there aside from his wand was his two-way mirror. Sirius had the other mirror, but Sirius was sitting right there and obviously wasn't using it. Pulling the mirror out, he was surprised to see Remus's frantic face had filled the glass. Sirius must have left it at home and Remus found it. "Moony, what's wrong?"

"Death Eaters in Diagon Alley!" Remus hissed, knowing that James and Sirius were out in public and he couldn't risk being overheard.

"What?" Sirius and James snapped at the same time.

"Everyone's on their way; get there _now!_" And Remus's face disappeared from the mirror.

Sirius and James gaped at each other. This wasn't the first time Death Eaters had attacked Diagon Alley, but it just seemed so strange for them to do it in the middle of February. Diagon Alley was a bustling street during the summer when students were heading back to school and needed to get their supplies. In the dead of winter, it wasn't nearly so busy, save for the mothers who came with their small children and the shop workers. Then again, they knew they should have been grateful. There were no students to get caught in the crossfire this time.

Sirius and James couldn't risk dragging Aberforth out with them; it would look far too suspicious for the barman to run out with two customers he was not supposed to know very well. So, as James threw some gold on the counter, he gave the man a knowing look that clearly told him something bad was happening and, if he could, to find out what was going on. James and Sirius hurried out of the pub and into the streets before Apparating to Diagon Alley.

When they appeared, chaos was already ensuing around them. There were explosions and jets of colourful light from the wand fire. There were screams filling the air. Smoke had already begun swirling about and, what was worse, it looked like the Death Eaters had recruited the help of the Dementors. These must have been Dementors outside of Ministry control. James and Sirius didn't think there were any like that. The cloaked beasts were gliding through the cobblestone street, looking for prey.

This wasn't good. With Dementors around, whoever they got too close to would relive their worst memories. What if some had particularly horrible memories? James and Sirius were reminded of their third year when they had tackled the Boggart in Handlin's class. When James faced it, it had turned into a Dementor and Remus had passed out from it.

They all had terrible memories now… Who was to say they wouldn't do the same if they got too close?

James and Sirius wasted no time in pulling out their wands and rushing into the fight. They could see the rest of the Order, already fighting, some already horribly wounded. But there was something different about the energy with which they fought – it was unlike anything they had seen so far. It could only be attributed to them wanting to get revenge on the people who killed Marlene and her family. There was a loud shattering of glass as a spell shot through the window of the Apothecary, quickly followed by the sound of hundreds of glass potion bottles breaking, the pieces flying in every direction. James and Sirius instantly ducked and covered their heads to avoid getting cut.

There was no way they were going to manage to stay together in this mess. "Be careful, alright?" James said to Sirius, who nodded before they both broke off in different directions.

The shouting was ear numbing, the spells blinding. Sirius ran quickly, having spotted Peter in a situation with a Death Eater that looked like it could only end badly for his friend. At first Sirius thought it was just because the Death Eater was too strong for him, but on second look that wasn't the case. Why wasn't Peter fighting back? The spells his friend threw were childish ones, ones that first years threw at each other when they wanted to duel. They were nothing anyone should throw at a Death Eater, a bloody _Dark_ wizard. It was only when Peter finally ran that Sirius focused his attention elsewhere.

There was a Death Eater fighting with Benjy Fenwick and Benjy looked like he couldn't win this fight. Sirius rushed forward to help the man, but was thwarted by a Death Eater who had set his sights on him. "Bugger," Sirius hissed. This was going to be a long day.

A green jet of light soared over James's head and he nearly fell to his knees as he ducked to avoid it, the light instead breaking through the window of Eeylop's Owl Emporium, the glass ricocheted everywhere and one of the owls inside the shop dropped to the ground, it was dead. James couldn't help but gape at it; that could have been him. He tried in vain to block out the shouts of pain and surprise around him, fearful that one of them might belong to his best friends. So far he hadn't seen any of them and he was terrified that something would happen to one of them.

The Order already had one death, they couldn't stand another one so soon and James wouldn't be able to take it if it was one of his best friends.

"_Stupefy!_" he shouted and a stream of red issued from the tip of his wand, flying towards a Death Eater who had been advancing upon a little boy who seemed to be crying for his mother, completely unaware of what was coming at him. Merlin help the person who decided to hurt a child. The Death Eater dropped to the ground, clearly not expecting an attack from that direction, and James took the opportunity to run to the little boy.

"You can't find your mum?" he asked hurriedly, trying to seem kind and friendly. For all the child knew, James could have been one of the bad guys, even if he wasn't wearing a mask. The frightened boy shook his head, emitting a squeal of terror as another spell shot over his head. James saw that they were standing in front of Quality Quidditch Supplies and he said, "Get in there and stay there, don't leave until this is all over." The boy didn't waste any time in doing as James said.

Merlin he hoped the boy would listen and not go running for his mother.

"James!"

James spun around and saw, with vast relief, that it was Lily running towards him. Her hair was disheveled, her face was covered in soot and her robes were torn in places, but otherwise she appeared to be unhurt."Lily, what started this?"

Lily shook her head. "No one knows! I was at work when I got the message to come here, not that I needed it, I heard the shouts." The _Daily Prophet_ office _was_ in Diagon Alley after all, but whoever had sent her the message must not have known she would be at work. There was an explosion from somewhere down the alley. "This is bad, James." The way Lily said it indicated the worst, indicated that not everyone was going to get out of this fight alive.

"I know," he said quickly, knowing that he had a very important question to ask her and it couldn't wait any longer. "And, just in case I don't get to ask you later, would you marry me, Lily?" And he ran off, spotting Remus trying, and failing, to fend off two Death Eaters at once. Lily just stood there, her mouth hanging open. Did James just propose to her?

She didn't have the time she would like to dwell on that. The next moment, the window display behind her collapsed and she ran after the masked figure that did it.

"You Death Eaters must be really tough!" James spat angrily as he shot a spell at one of the Dark wizards dueling his friend. "Two on one? That's a fair fight!" He aimed his wand at the Death Eater and shouted, "_Rictusempra!_" The spell hit the figure dead in the stomach and he doubled over, cackling hysterically as the spell relentlessly tickled him, so much that he couldn't breathe properly. "Mate, you're bleeding." There was a trickle of blood coming down from Remus's hairline.

"Yeah, it doesn't hurt," was all Remus said before throwing a spell at the Death Eater he was battling. The spell successfully tossed the masked figure off his feet and down to the ground where it looked like he was suffering from multiple electrical shocks. Remus barely had time to marvel at the effect that spell had before he was distracted by a short shout from behind him. The Death Eater James had hexed was over it and had dragged James to the ground.

Apparently Muggle dueling wasn't out of the question.

"Come on, Peter, you have to _fight!_" Sirius urged his friend, who seemed he would rather run than stay and battle these people. On the one hand, Sirius couldn't blame him. It was beyond terrifying to be in this situation. On the other hand, these were the people who had murdered Marlene and her family, had murdered countless other people, including Peter's _father_, and they weren't going to get away with it. But Peter was barely giving it a try at all. He was a talented wizard, much better than what he was showing. _What_ was his problem?

"I _am_ fighting, Sirius!" Peter shot back, sending a Jelly Legs Jinx at one of the Death Eaters. The spell went wide, however.

Sirius so desperately wanted to say that Peter _wasn't_ trying, but he bit his tongue. Peter had been far too touchy lately and anymore comments on his dueling abilities would only worsen that. But, honestly, something had to be done and Sirius was taking matters into his own hands before Peter got himself killed. "_Petrificus Totalus!_" The Death Eater who had been battling with Sirius stiffened into a board and fall backwards with a satisfying thud on the cobblestones.

"I can defend myself!" Peter suddenly snapped, rounding on Sirius.

"Yeah, you were doing a real good job of it!" Sirius shot back. Was Peter seriously about to tell him off for defending him? If that was the case, he wasn't having it. Merlin forbid he defend his friend. But Peter said nothing else and merely hurried off, whether to fight some more or to run and hide, Sirius didn't much care right now.

There were dozens of shouts as the ground rocked beneath their feet, sending Madam Malkin's store front collapsing, wooden splinters shooting everywhere, at anyone within reach. There had been so many explosions already, so many things destroyed, no one was about to think twice until someone shouted that someone had been caught in that. But no one had time to clear the debris, not when the Death Eaters weren't relenting. It didn't matter to them whether or not anyone was crushed by an entire storefront. In fact, they probably reveled in it. They may have killed someone else.

The spells continued to fly. People were running without any knowledge of where they were going, just trying to get away from the disaster. The Order of the Phoenix couldn't run and had to help those who had to while trying to protect themselves at the same time. Some of the Order was already down for the count. Dorcas had broken her ankle and was trying to fight while balancing on her good foot until Elphias, who was bleeding heavily from his arm, stopped her and dragged her to safety. Gideon and Fabian both were knocked unconscious and had been rescued by Edgar Bones before the Death Eaters they had been battling could finish them off. Things weren't looking good.

Until all the Death Eaters Disapparated, the Dementors fleeing along with them. No one could quite figure out why, but it didn't matter. They were gone and, for the moment, Diagon Alley was safe.

There was barely an inch of the cobblestone street that was not covered with some sort of debris – shards of glass, splintered wood, human blood. The civilians that had been caught in the battle all had similar looks of disbelief on their faces, as if they could not believe that they had made it out. James noticed the little boy he had forced into Quality Quidditch Supplies was being carried off by his mother and a surge of relief swelled within him. At least he had helped to save one mother from the pain of losing her child.

There were others who weren't so lucky.

"Sweet Merlin," James whispered, utterly sickened, when he saw a little girl lying on the ground. There was barely a mark on her and he knew she was the victim of a wayward Killing Curse. He didn't want to be there when her parents showed up and he instantly hurried to find Dumbledore. Dumbledore could handle a situation like that. Not James. James was only eighteen; he didn't know how to break that kind of news. When he found Dumbledore, it was by what was, he supposed, Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. The store was charred from flames.

Most of the Order was already there. He could see Sirius sitting on the ground, nursing his arm, which was horribly bruised. Remus sat beside him, a handkerchief he had gotten from somewhere pressed against his head, red already badly staining it. Peter stood beside them, looking shaken and soot covered his robes, but he appeared to be unhurt. James's eyes sought Lily; the sight of her would quell the storm raging in his stomach. She came up beside him just when he began to panic because he could not see her.

"Don't you dare run off on me like that again," she hissed furiously in his ear. He asks her to marry him and then runs off like that? What was he playing at?

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't leave Remus to fight two Death Eaters at once," James hissed back defensively. He couldn't let his friend get hurt like that, and those Death Eaters were mental. The bruise blooming on his cheek was proof of that.

Lily's tone softened. "I know. I was just scared."

The two continued to take in the injuries their comrades had suffered. Gideon and Fabian were just coming around, looking horribly dazed. Edgar Bones stood close beside them, ready to help them if they needed it. Dorcas's ankle had been healed by Elphias, who had bandaged up his own bleeding arm as well.

"I'm going to see if I can do anything to help," James told Lily, pulling out his wand and kneeling down beside Gideon to see if his head injury was worse than they might know. He had never been so grateful for his Healer training.

"Albus," Elphias piped up suddenly. "Where's Benjy?"

All the Order that had been called to fight was there, except Benjy Fenwick. He was always there when the fight ended, ready to aid his fellow Order members if they needed it. It was unsettling to see that he wasn't with them right now. He had been there; there had been several Order members who had seen him. But not for a while now. "Emmeline, Sturgis, Frank, Alice, come with me," Dumbledore ordered. The other were injured and needed to rest, and those who weren't hurt could help them.

The five set out to find Benjy, though the only problem was that they couldn't begin to think of where to look. There were the dead that hadn't been claimed yet still lying on the ground, something that was sickening to see, especially to the newest Order members. Frank walked with an arm around Alice, who was deathly pale. Dumbledore knew they were going to have to deal with the family of the dead soon. He would, anyway. He wouldn't put that responsibility on the rest of the Order.

They soon found themselves near the ruins of Madam Malkin's. The collapse… if anyone had been under that, it would be a miracle if they survived, let alone survived intact. "Professor," Frank said slowly. "I was over here when this happened… someone said that there was someone caught under this." The fear was evident in his voice. Benjy was missing. Without thinking, Frank hurried forward and began throwing the debris aside. It wasn't long before he was joined by the others; even Dumbledore was furiously trying to see just who it had been that suffered the collapse of the store.

It was only Alice's shriek that alerted them to the answer.

She had stumbled upon a hand. A single hand. And not too far from that hand was half of a wand, a wand that was only too familiar to them all.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Seventy Nine: Spreading the News**_

"Master James! Miss Lily!" Willie said happily.

"Hey, Willie," James said with a smile at the House Elf. "How are you?"

"Willie is wonderful. Is Master Potter expecting you?"

"No, he's not. Are my parents home?"

Willie nodded. "Master's mother is in the kitchen and Master's father is in his study. Shall Willie get them for you?"

"Yeah, thanks, Willie." James and Lily watched as the House Elf bounded off to find his parents.


	79. Spreading the News

Chapter Seventy Nine  
Spreading the News

There was no funeral for Benjy as there had been for Marlene. There was no body to be mourned over, no body that was complete, anyway. No one spoke at all that evening, not unless it was absolutely necessary. Even then, no more than a few words were exchanged. There was just too much to deal with. The others who had died, the innocent shoppers who had only come to enjoy a fun day in Diagon Alley, they had to be turned over to their families. The Aurors dealt with that. The rest of the Order who were not Aurors merely pretended to be just like them, shoppers who had come out for a fun day turned into chaos.

Finally, when that was finished, the Order was free to go home for the evening. Remus and Sirius tried to convince Peter to come spend the night at their place, as they believed that no one should be alone right now, not after everything that had happened, but Peter wasn't having it. He could take care of himself. That was what he told them. They supposed it didn't matter anyway; as for the first time since they moved in, Sirius's flat was absolutely silent. Remus's head was hurting him badly and he made a beeline for his bedroom, shutting the door behind him and he fell asleep the instant his head hit the pillow. Sirius rummaged through the freezer and found a handful of ice, stuffing it into a rag and holding it on his bruised arm. He didn't even wait to get to his own bedroom; he fell asleep on the couch.

James and Lily had also tried convincing Peter to spend the night at their flat, as it was definitely a lot safer thanks to the special wards Dumbledore had put up for them. But again, Peter refused. He went straight to his own flat and fell asleep without much trouble. Peter may have fallen asleep without any severe trouble, that didn't mean that he didn't have anything plaguing his thoughts. Why did Sirius insist that he fight? Peter didn't _want_ to fight. He hadn't _chosen_ to join the Order of the Phoenix! His friends had shanghaied him into it. He didn't want to fight. He wasn't a fighter. He never had been. Yet they insisted that he do so. To prove what? That was what he wanted to know. What were they trying to prove?

The Death Eaters were far more powerful than they could ever hope to be.

James sat in the single armchair in the living room of his flat. He had never been so bloody tired before in his life, yet he couldn't sleep. His eyelids drooped, yet his mind was on overdrive, the images of what he had seen that day flashing before his eyes. His friends had been hurt – Sirius was going to have a difficult time using his arm for a few days and Remus was bound to have a monstrous headache when he woke up the next morning. And Benjy… poor Benjy. Apparently it hadn't been the collapse of the store that mutilated him like that, the explosion had been aimed at him and he hadn't had enough time to get out of the way or block the spell. And Alice had been the first to see him.

He doubted the woman would ever be the same after witnessing what she did.

"James?"

James glanced up to see Lily hovering across the room. He had been so grateful that she hadn't been hurt badly, aside from a few scrapes and bruises. Her face was still pale from the shock of their fallen comrade. James imagined they all felt terrible. Benjy had been one of the first of the Order they had fought alongside – Benjy and Marlene. They were both gone now. How many more times were they going to have to deal with this? He didn't think he could take it anymore. He had already had to say goodbye to two people he respected already. He didn't want to do that again.

He nodded to let Lily know he was listening. She came further into the room; though there was a tentative air about the way she walked. "I… I'm not sure if you remember, but there was something you asked me in Diagon Alley today." For all she knew, James wasn't in his right mind when he blurted the question out. She would understand if he hadn't meant it, but she would be undeniably disappointed.

James knew at once what she was talking about. Maybe when he had asked her it had seemed spur of the moment, but it wasn't. He had been thinking about it only minutes before he ran into her. Hell, he had asked _Sirius_ for his opinion on it. James had meant it; he _wanted_ to marry her and she had to know that. "What I asked you still stands," he told her honestly. Now came the worst part – waiting for her answer. Lily had hated him throughout the majority of their time in Hogwarts. They had only been going out for a year or so. But James had meant it. Sweet Merlin, he _meant_ it. He wanted to marry her!

"And I say yes."

James blinked, sure he had heard wrong. _Surely_ Lily hadn't just said that she wanted to marry him. "Excuse me?"

"I want to marry you."

"Are you serious?"

Lily was close to rolling her eyes at him. What was he not understanding? She had said yes. Trust James to be a fool right now. "Yes, James."

James was standing up now, slowly advancing on her. "You used to think I was a prat whose head was so big it would knock me off my broom!"

Lily nodded slowly, her cheeks pink from embarrassment that she had once said that. Maybe she had meant it then, but James had been different then. He _had_ been a prat, at least socially. She soon learned that was not the case. "I remember that."

"You should have hated me for the rest of my life for destroying your friendship with Snape! You said you'd rather go out with the Giant Squid than me. Did the Giant Squid finally get someone?"

Lily stifled a chuckle. James was getting a bit hysterical now. "No, I'm sure the Giant Squid is still available."

"And if it wasn't?"

In an effort to shut him up, Lily closed the gap between them and pressed her lips against his. When they pulled apart, she stared James straight in the eye, a smile curving at the ends of her lips. "I want to marry you, James Potter. I bloody love you and want to marry you."

* * *

When James arrived at Sirius and Remus's flat the next day, beaming from ear to ear, Sirius knew at once what he was so happy about. James absolutely insisted Remus Apparate and get Peter so he could tell them all what had happened. When the two returned, Peter clearly looking bewildered, James announced that he was getting married. Though slightly stunned at first, his friends were happy for him and Sirius immediately suggested they should go celebrate. It didn't take much persuading for them to all eventually end up at the Three Broomsticks, though they firmly kept the Firewhiskey away from Sirius.

They were no doubt thrilled for James, but none of them wanted to witness another drunken escapade from Sirius. If that happened, James just might not make it to his wedding day.

There had been little to no wedding plans made yet, as James and Lily had only been engaged for not even a single day, but James was sure of one thing. He knew who he wanted his best man to be. He was sure Sirius would need little convincing to fill the part. So when he got Sirius alone and asked, he was proven right. Sirius was absolutely thrilled at the prospect of being his best friend's best man. He was happy for Lily and James and would do anything to make their big day the best that it could be.

James and Lily had a few people they wanted to inform about their engagement. Maybe James's parents should have been at the top of the list, but James had thought of his best friends first, information he would withhold from his parents when he saw them. He could just picture the look on his mum's face if she found out she hadn't been the first to find out her son was getting married. He wouldn't blame her, but he'd rather she not know. James honestly wasn't even sure if his parents were home, so he didn't bother ringing the bell when they got to the Potter Mansion. He just let himself in. He and Lily were instantly greeted by the Potters' House Elf, Willie, who was busily cleaning up the living room.

"Master James! Miss Lily!" Willie said happily, scurrying over to meet the two.

"Hey, Willie," James said with a smile at the House Elf. "How are you?"

"Willie is wonderful! Is Master Potter expecting you?"

"No, he's not. Are my parents at home?"

Willie nodded. "Master's mother is in the kitchen and Master's father is in his study. Shall Willie get them for you?"

"Yeah, thanks, Willie." James and Lily watched as the House Elf bounded off to find his parents.

"I love that House Elf," James said, turning to Lily with a grin on his face. Despite the species difference, he always considered Willie as one of the Potters. She could be named Willie Potter and he wouldn't have a problem with it. Most wizards thought they were cut above the House Elves, but James didn't think that was true. Willie had been around since he was born and was getting quite on in age, but still as energetic as ever.

It didn't take long for Willie to return with Mr. and Mrs. Potter, both of whom were surprised to see their son and his girlfriend standing in their living room. They hadn't been expecting them, though they were not displeased that they were there. James could go for long stretches without visiting home, though he never meant to. But this was big news and he couldn't wait to share it with his parents. They loved Lily, they would be thrilled.

"James, what are you doing here?" Hannah asked, stepping forward to hug her son and kiss him on the cheek.

"What, I can't visit my parents?" James asked cheekily as his father clapped him on the shoulder and greeted Lily.

"Of course you can," Hannah said happily. She hadn't seen her son since Christmas and she had been hearing stories of the awful things happening, especially the fight in Diagon Alley. She wasn't thrilled when James wanted to join the Order, but he was too much like his father and she wasn't going to ask him not to. He was an adult now and had to make his own decisions. Even if they were dangerous, they were the right ones. "Come into the kitchen, I'll have Willie cook something up."

James, Lily and Charles followed Hannah into the kitchen as James hastened to tell his mother, "We can't stay that long; we're doing some – ah – some news spreading."

This got his mother to stop. She revolved on the spot and glanced from her son to his girlfriend, a tiny smile forming on her lips as she suspected what it was they were to tell them. "What kind of news are you spreading?"

James and Lily looked at each other with small grins on their faces. It was fun to see the reactions they would get. James cleared his throat and faced his parents. "We're getting married."

There was absolute quiet in the room for the quickest of moments before Hannah let out a shriek of joy that rivaled any James had ever heard before. "Married? Oh, James! That's wonderful!" She hurried forward and pulled both her son and her future daughter-in-law into such a tight embrace that James could barely beg her to release them. "James, you picked the most wonderful person to be your wife!"

Lily felt her cheeks redden, and she was sure her face must be purple because she was certain she was turning blue from lack of oxygen. "Thank you, Mrs. Potter," she managed to gasp out.

Finally Hannah released the two, allowing her husband to step forward to hug them both, thankfully in a way so that they could still breathe. "And I won't have you calling me Mrs. Potter anymore," Hannah said to Lily firmly. "I'll accept Hannah or Mum." Lily nodded. She would probably end up calling Mrs. Potter Hannah, as she could never call anyone except her own mother Mum. "Oh there's so much to do now! Do you know when you want to have the wedding?"

James and Lily glanced at each other. They hadn't exactly been engaged for a long time; they hadn't even told everyone they wanted to tell yet.

Charles seemed to realise this. "I think this is still relatively new to them."

"The most we've done is picked Sirius to be my best man," James told his mother and father, both of whom nodded knowingly. They didn't expect anything different of that decision.

Mrs. Potter clapped her hands together excitedly. "Lily, I'll help you with the planning." Hannah knew Lily's mother had died over a year ago and this would have been one of the woman's happiest moments if she had been around for it. The least she could do was help her son's fiancé in the planning, if she wanted the help.

Lily smiled genuinely. "I would really like that."

Willie suddenly appeared at Hannah's side with a bottle of faerie wine in her hands. "Does Mrs. Potter wish to make a toast?"

Charles grinned at the tiny House Elf. "We would like that very much, Willie." And he went to find four wine glasses and a small glass of water for Willie, from the cabinet. Within minutes, they all had their glasses. As was customary in the Potter Family, Charles made the toast. "In all the terrible things that have been happening, it's nice to see something as wonderful and normal as a wedding can happen. To James and Lily."

* * *

"Hey, I think one of the houses yawned!"

"James…"

"No, seriously Lily. I think one of them did. One of the windows did it, I think. Personally, I can't blame the house. This is the _dullest_ neighborhood I've ever seen."

Privet Drive was certainly a boring place; at least that was how it appeared to the witch and wizard. It looked as though the entire street was made up of the same square houses which, now that she looked carefully, she saw this was the truth. The only variances were the cars in the driveway. Yet Lily knew this was the perfect place for her sister and her sister's husband to live. They were two incredibly boring people who hated anything abnormal. Privet Drive certainly appeared as if it was a place where nothing out of the ordinary would ever occur. The Dursleys had gotten what they wanted. Lily truly didn't want to be here, but she had news she had to deliver.

Unlike Petunia, Lily was going to _let_ her sister know that she was getting married and give her the option of attending the wedding. If Petunia chose not to accept the invitation, that was her choice. At least Lily would have given her the opportunity.

"You think this is the place people go when they lose all hope in their own sorry lives?" James asked curiously as he and Lily walked up the street, looking for number four. There was a cheeky smirk on his face that Lily could not help but laugh at.

"Possibly," Lily agreed. She definitely wouldn't be caught dead living in so mundane a place. She could almost believe James when he claimed one of the houses yawned. Even the architecture would get bored in this neighborhood. She suddenly stopped and nodded at one of the boring, square houses. There was a shiny, golden four above the mailbox at the front door. "There it is."

James placed his hand on Lily's shoulder and gently squeezed it. After the scene Petunia and Vernon had almost caused at their own wedding, he could understand why she wasn't eager to run into the house. "Let's get this over with, shall we?"

Lily swallowed with difficulty and led the way to the front door. She raised a hesitant fist, hovering over the door as she wondered whether what the odds were that James would let her bolt right now. She knew he didn't want to be here anymore than she did. He loathed Petunia and Vernon, and he had only met them once. She couldn't imagine how much more he would loathe them after a few more meetings. Probably almost as much as he hated Severus, except he knew he couldn't hex his fiancé's family. Finally, fed up with her own stalling, she knocked loudly on the door.

There was barely a minute that passed before the front door opened and Petunia Dursley appeared. She had, for a moment, looked eager to see who had come to call. Her face fell almost instantly when she saw who it was. "What do you two want? Didn't you have enough fun humiliating me at my wedding?"

"How exactly did we humiliate you?" James asked thoughtfully, though he was seething already. They had done nothing except offer their congratulations to the newlyweds. It had been Petunia and Vernon who had made it into more than what it was. "All _we_ did was try to congratulate you."

"James," Lily said warningly, sensing that he was about to indulge his temper.

"No, really, I want to know. What did _we_ do to embarrass you and your husband?"

Petunia's already thin lips narrowed even thinner as she stared at the man before her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It wasn't supposed to mean anything," James said evenly. "I was just saying that you're so worried about what others think of you that you'll embarrass yourself in an attempt to stop people like us from embarrassing you." Okay, so it did mean something, but James was enjoying himself right now. Talk in circles, confuse Petunia Dursley a bit.

Then a gruff voice sounded from inside the house. "Petunia, who's at the door?"

It didn't take long for the massive form of Vernon Dursley to appear behind his wife. Like Petunia, his face fell into a disgusted grimace the moment he saw the man and woman standing on their porch. "What do _you_ want?" he snapped bitterly.

"That seems to be the popular question, doesn't it?" James muttered quietly to Lily, his eyes fixed on the vast man who was speaking to them. "We did come to share some news we think is pretty amazing, but I doubt you'll think the same."

It was true. With the reception they had received so far, James doubted neither Petunia nor Vernon would much care if they found out the two were going to be married. But Lily wanted her sister to know this and they were going to tell them. "Lily and I are getting married."

There was dead silence. Everywhere. It seemed that the rest of this sleepy town had gone quiet as well, even if they hadn't heard the news James had just revealed. The witch and wizard glanced from Vernon and Petunia, waiting for one of them to say something before they took matters into their own hands. James and Lily weren't stupid enough to believe that their news would be welcomed, that Vernon would be breaking out the wine and toasting them the way James's parents had done. But they at least expected them to _say_ something.

So when Petunia and Vernon slammed the door shut on the two, James and Lily could not keep their mouths from falling open. "What complete arses," James hissed under his breath before taking the liberty of stepping forward and pounding on the front door.

"James, what are you doing?" Lily asked, eyeing her fiancé with wide eyes. He looked as if he'd break the door down.

"They're horrible! At least _you_ tried to be happy for your sister when you found out what she was marrying and they can't do the same?" James continued to pound on the front door when there was no answer. If they didn't open up soon, he wasn't sure he could restrain himself from whipping his wand out and blasting the door open.

Lily could understand why James was furious, but this was her battle to fight. Petunia was her sister; Vernon was, unfortunately, her brother-in-law. If anyone had to deal with their stupidity, it should have been her. She stepped forward and placed a hand on James's shoulder, guiding him away from the doorway.

"What are you doing?" James asked, looking over his shoulder at her.

"Let me handle this," she told him firmly. She pulled her wand out of her pocket, after making sure there was no one around to see her do so, and pointed it at the lock. "_Alohomora!_" She grinned, satisfied, when she heard the faint click as the locks disengaged. She pushed the door open and nodded for James to follow her inside. James did so eagerly, wanting to see just what his future wife had up her sleeve.

The inside of the house was nearly as boring as the outside, what with its walls lacking any nice colours, as well as the furniture. Though it was all very clean, they could both admit that. It looked as if specks of dirt were just as unwelcome in this house as they were. Actually, Lily and James were probably more unwelcome. Lily paused in the hall, trying to figure out where the kitchen was before she saw a door at the end of the hallway. She could hear her sister's furious voice coming from behind it. Her lips thinning into a dangerously tiny line, she marched forward, ready to give the Dursleys a piece of her mind. She pushed the kitchen door open; pleased to hear the yelp of fright issuing from her sister's mouth as she did so.

"How did you get in here?" Petunia shrieked.

"I have my ways," Lily told her dismissively, rounding harshly on her. "Listen to me right now, Petunia. You're not being fair to me _or_ to James. We come here to tell you about us getting married because we had the _decency_ to do so, unlike you. You only had the foresight to send me a letter at the last minute, telling me not to even bother showing up! Sweet Merlin, do you think I didn't want to know my only sister, the woman who used to be my best friend, was getting married? Do you honestly hate me that much?"

Petunia said nothing, though her mouth twitched at Lily's last words. Lily and James, however, did not notice this. On the other hand, Vernon was turning a nasty shade of puce as he listened to Lily. "Don't you speak to my wife like that!" he snapped at Lily.

"Don't _you_ talk to _her_ like that," James shot right back.

Lily dragged her gaze away from her sister and fixed it on Vernon. "She's _my_ sister; I can speak to her in any way that I like." She rounded back on Petunia. "So I decided to come and tell my sister about what is probably the biggest thing to ever happen to me and that's how you react? You slam the door in my face? What kind of person does that?"

Petunia again said nothing and Vernon was rising out of his seat at the kitchen table. James, however, shot him such a dangerous glare that Vernon actually sat back down. Lily needed to get this out now. Merlin knew if she would ever get the chance to do so again. Lily was upset and it showed in the way her voice was starting to get hysterical. "Lily," James said softly, trying to get her to calm down.

But she didn't seem to hear him. "Petunia, Mum and Dad couldn't be at your wedding! Doesn't that mean something to you? That our own parents couldn't be there, wouldn't you want your sister to be there? Wouldn't you be able to put your anger with me aside for just a few hours so you could have_ family_ at your wedding? That's what I'm doing. I want you to come to my wedding. Merlin knows why I do, but I want you there. I want my sister there and unless you've got a life-threatening reason why you can't be, you'd better be there."

Before anyone knew it, Lily had spun around and marched back through the kitchen door. James, who was left standing in the kitchen, glanced from Petunia to Vernon. In an attempt to break the awkward silence that had befallen them all, he said, "Err… well, I'm sure Lily will let you know when the wedding is." And he hurried out of the room.

* * *

**_Excerpt from Chapter Eighty: Brother of Mine_**

"No, he didn't and I haven't seen him since then." Why was he being such an arse? Regulus had, more or less, told him what was bothering him and Sirius had pushed him away, telling him to just go home. Had Regulus gone home?

"I'm concerned about him."

"Big surprise," Sirius muttered, again disgusted at his childishness. He was nineteen, for Merlin's sake. He should have been past such things.

"Sirius, I know you hate us all, but this is your brother. You've never hated him before."

"Yeah, but that was before he decided it would be fun to join loony Dark wizards who kill people for fun. But I'm sure you supported that decision."


	80. Brother of Mine

Chapter Eighty  
Brother of Mine

Planning weddings was difficult. James and Lily learned this quickly. Luckily they had the help of Hannah Potter, who also recruited Anna Lupin's help. The two women were able to aid them in whatever way they needed. Alice Longbottom was also thrilled to help her friend and soon the four women had a long list of things they needed to do before the wedding, which had been set for September. This long list frightened James far too much to even attempt to do anything to help them, unless they sorely needed it. His help, however, was not even requested. The top rule Hannah and Anna had for the future bride was that man's help was often not needed, though they sometimes had good intentions.

It was best to just make them feel useful without actually having them be of any real use.

Meanwhile, the work of the Order increased as Voldemort continued to grow stronger. There were so many more attacks then the Order was prepared to handle. Too much damage was being done. There had been a Muggle family out camping that had been attacked by a werewolf during the full moon. None of the family survived. Dementors had been feeding and breeding, causing the fog that had bewitched London to grow even denser as the days passed. The entire Order of the Phoenix was scared; even Dumbledore wasn't as calm as he usually appeared to be. The number of Death Eaters just seemed to keep growing and the Order kept losing numbers. In June they had lost another – Cardaroc Dearborn suddenly disappeared.

No one knew what happened, but everyone knew they would never see or hear from him again.

Tensions were running high around the Ministry. The Aurors were taking heat because they couldn't stop the attacks that were happening, no matter how much they tried. Moody was taking a good amount of slander, people claiming he was losing his mind and perhaps shouldn't have so high a position. Barty Crouch, who was in charge of the department, was going to extremes to capture Death Eaters. He was even going so far as to allow the Aurors to use Unforgiveable Curses, should they need to. This was something the Aurors in the Order wouldn't stand for, though they couldn't voice their opinions for fear of losing their jobs.

St. Mungo's was almost constantly bustling with activity. James worked late into the night some days, especially when there was a werewolf attack or a giant attack. The Creature-Induced Injuries ward was busy those times and James had seen so many grisly injuries that sometimes he wondered how his father dealt with this day after day for so many years. But James loved his job, regardless. He liked being able to help people. He was especially glad that his training and work in this area now allowed him to heal Remus's injuries after the full moon. His father would no longer have to do that.

It was much easier for James to just go over to Sirius's the next morning and heal his friend.

"Going to work?" Sirius asked when he saw Remus walk through the kitchen, quickly grab an apple out of the bowl on the counter, and start towards the front door. Sirius was sitting at the table, a copy of the _Daily Prophet_ in hand as he worked on completing the crossword puzzle. He had some time to kill before he was due to be at the Auror Academy.

"Yeah," Remus said, stopping for just a moment to look back at his roommate. "I'm running late, see you later." He took a bite of the apple that was now his breakfast and hurried to the front door. Just as he pulled it open he received a knock on the forehead. Stepping back in surprise, Remus found that Regulus Black had just been about the knock on the front door.

"Regulus?" he said, shock evident in his voice. Remus couldn't remember the last time he had seen the youngest Black son.

"Lupin," Regulus muttered, clearly unsurprised to see who he had run into. Now that Remus looked carefully at him, he saw there was something different about the young man. Regulus was just out of school now. There was a difficult transition period, they all knew that, but it looked as though it wasn't serving Regulus well at all. The man was pale and looked scared. "Is my brother here?"

Remus nodded. "He's in the kitchen, right down the hall." He jerked his head in the appropriate direction. Before he started to go off to work again, he tentatively asked, "Is everything alright?"

"Fine," Regulus snapped. Remus Lupin was possibly the last person he wanted to talk to, save James Potter.

Remus looked at the younger man doubtfully, but he said nothing else. He simply nodded and disappeared down the steps. Whatever Regulus wanted, it was between him and Sirius. Though Remus couldn't begin to imagine why Regulus would want to talk to his brother all of the sudden. They hadn't been on good terms in years; especially not since Sirius discovered Regulus had joined the Death Eaters.

Could that be what this was about?

Sirius glanced up when he heard footsteps in the hallway. "What'd you forget?" he asked, thinking it was Remus coming back in, not having heard the exchange at the door. When Regulus came into the room, Sirius instantly stood up, his defences up at once. His brother was a Death Eater. He hated it, but the fact still remained. Regulus couldn't be here for a good reason. "What are you doing here?" he snarled.

Regulus easily saw that Sirius wasn't comfortable with him being in his home and, while once this would have made him laugh with pleasure, it saddened him now. Regulus was scared. He wouldn't admit it at first, but he would now. He was terrified. He was in too far over his head and he couldn't get out. "I… I wanted to talk to you," Regulus fumbled out, realising how ridiculous that sounded. Sirius had wanted to talk to him so many times before and Regulus couldn't even give him the time of day.

And apparently Sirius was still bitter about that. "You want to talk, do you? What about all those times _I_ wanted to talk to you and you told me to bugger off?"

"Sirius, this is important. I _need_ to talk to you." Regulus had to get out. They were expecting too much of him. The things they wanted him to do, he _couldn't_. He wasn't the kind of person that could kill another in cold blood. He couldn't. They expected him to, but he couldn't. Hexing was one thing, but he couldn't _kill _another. And he was almost sure he knew something; he was sure he had answers. Sirius would want to hear them!

"About what? How about all those times I wanted to talk to you?" Sirius didn't know what had happened to him, but he couldn't stand the sight of his brother right now. Regulus was a _Death Eater_. He was the very thing Sirius was fighting to get rid of, the very thing he and so many people had gotten hurt trying to do. People he had come to call _friends _had been killed by those Death Eaters. Now Regulus was standing here in his kitchen, practically begging him to speak with him. Sirius wasn't going to have it. Regulus always got his way, but not this time.

"Sirius, you don't understand. I can't do this anymore!"

"Finally woken up, have you? Or is this some sort of trick? Lure me in by pretending that you're sorry and then your buddies come and kill me?"

Regulus's face paled several shades. Did Sirius really hate him so much that he would suggest that? His voice came out in a strangled whisper. "Sirius, I wouldn't do that."

Sirius had stepped a bit closer to his brother now and there was a hard distance in his eyes that made Regulus's insides squirm unpleasantly. "Yeah? I thought you wouldn't join the Death Eaters either but, well, would you look at that. You joined them."

"And I'm sorry I ever did, Sirius. You have to believe me!"

Sirius seemed to have not heard Regulus. "Do you know what the people you fight with have done? Do you know I've had to help bury people I called friends? Hell, sometimes there weren't even bodies to bury! Just bits and pieces." Horrible images of Benjy Fenwick filled his mind and Sirius had to hastily shove them away. He hadn't even seen the pieces of the man; he just knew it was horrible.

"Sirius, I didn't do any of that."

"You mean to tell me you weren't in Diagon Alley during that last riot back in the winter?" He saw Regulus fumble for a moment and he got his answer immediately. "Go home, Regulus."

Regulus blinked rapidly. No, he couldn't leave yet; he had to talk to his brother. He had to tell him what he knew. _Why_ wouldn't Sirius listen to him? "Sirius, you _have_ to listen to me. Please!"

Sirius shook his head as he tightly gripped his brother by the shoulder and began leading him to the door. "I don't have to do anything. I don't have to listen to you anymore." Remembering something very similar that Regulus had said to him after he'd run away from home, Sirius spat, "You gave up any right to make me listen to you when you put that mask on and decided where your loyalties lay." He pulled the door open and roughly pushed Regulus through the doorway. "Go home, Regulus."

* * *

Sirius mentioned nothing of Regulus's visit to anyone. When Remus came home later that day and asked what had happened, Sirius brushed it off, saying that it was nothing important. Remus didn't believe Sirius for a second. He and Regulus hadn't spoken in ages and Regulus didn't look as though he had nothing important on his mind and just wanted to chat with his older brother. But Remus also knew that if Sirius didn't want to talk about something, he was never going to. So Remus merely left the offer to talk about it out there. It was Sirius's to take if he chose.

It had been two weeks now since Regulus had visited his flat and Sirius decided that he needed to spend time with his best friend, the future husband of Lily Evans, to take his mind off it. When James's shift at St. Mungo's ended, Sirius forcibly dragged him to the Leaky Cauldron. The pub was practically empty, as no one wanted to spend much time outdoors. It wasn't safe. Tom, the barman, could be seen cleaning the same spot on the counter with unfocused eyes, looking as though he was counting the minutes until he could call it a night.

"So, how are your wedding plans coming?" Sirius asked after he ordered two butterbeers. Tom looked utterly thrilled to be able to do something that he nearly bounced off to fill the mugs.

"You'll have to ask Lily that," James told Sirius dryly, rolling his eyes. "She won't let me get anywhere near them."

Sirius chuckled, thanking Tom as he set the two drinks in front of them. He slid one mug towards James. "That's women for you, I guess. Were you allowed to do anything but pick me as your best man?"

James took a sip of his drink. "I was allowed to pick who I wanted to invite. It wasn't that long of a list. You, Remus, Peter and my parents, obviously. Remus's mum and dad, and Peter's mum as well. We both decided on inviting the Order, though I dunno how many of them will show up."

"Frank and Alice will," Sirius interjected confidently. They had all known the Longbottoms since they were eleven; they had all been housemates. They would come.

"They have to, as Alice is Lily's maid of honour."

Sirius grinned. "That's a good choice. So who'd Lily want to come?"

"Aside from Frank and Alice, just her sister and that thing she's married to."

Sirius grimaced. He had heard about their disastrous visit to the Dursleys'. He could understand why Lily would want her sister to be there, but it didn't mean he had to like the fact that they may be there. He would have to restrain himself from hexing them a bit. It didn't seem right to make Lily upset on her wedding day. "They're right gits, aren't they?"

"The biggest."

"Sirius."

Sirius nearly choked on his butterbeer. He hadn't heard that voice in years, not since he was sixteen. What was his _father_ doing here and, most important, what did he want with him? Sirius had thought their lack of communication over the past three years had established that neither of them had anything to say to the other. Sirius knew he had nothing to say to his father and he doubted very much that Orion Black had anything to say to him either. "Father," Sirius replied stiffly, keeping his eyes averted from the man.

"I need to talk to you."

This was a record – two Blacks who wanted to speak to him within the same month. Surely the world must be ending. "How did you know I was here?"

"Lupin told me."

Blast it. Sirius had forgotten he'd left a note in the kitchen to let Remus know where he would be. He knew Remus might begin to get nervous if he didn't come back for a while. Death Eaters were never opposed to snatching someone off the streets and having some _fun_ with them. He couldn't be mad at Remus though. Remus's first reaction was probably that something bad had happened. Why else would his father suddenly appear on their doorstep? And that was when Sirius's face paled. What if something_ did_ happen?

Even if there was a sense of dread in him, Sirius remained indifferent. "What do you want?"

When he finally looked at his father, there was a strange urgent look in Orion's eyes that Sirius had never seen before. As much as he loathed admitting it, it unsettled him quite a bit. "I told you, I need to talk with you. Privately." He threw a pointed look at James, who promptly got up and moved towards a table at the back of the pub, though not before throwing Sirius a significant look that clearly told him to fill him in later. Orion took the stool James had been sitting on and stared at his estranged son. "Have you seen Regulus recently?"

Sirius could have openly scoffed at his father. _This_ was what he wanted to talk about? Orion hadn't seen his oldest son in years and he, of _course_, only wanted to talk about Regulus. Sirius knew he shouldn't have been surprised by this, and he wasn't. He _was_, however, surprised at the small twinge of hurt that appeared in his stomach. He was always going to be second best to the Blacks, wasn't he? "Why?" was all he said and he said it in such an indifferent manner that he disgusted even himself.

Orion saw this and his ears tinged red, a danger sign. "He hasn't been home in weeks and he'd been acting funny before then. He wouldn't talk about it with anyone, but Kreacher told me he came to see you and I thought maybe he'd come to see you again. I thought he might have told you what was bothering him."

"No, he didn't and I haven't seen him since then." _Why_ was he being such a bloody arse? Regulus had, more or less, told him what _was_ bothering him and Sirius had pushed him away, telling him to just go home. _Had_ Regulus gone home?

"I'm concerned about him."

"Big surprise," Sirius muttered, again disgusted at his childishness. He was nineteen, for Merlin's sake. He should have been past such things.

"Sirius, I know you hate us all, but this is your _brother_. You've never hated him before."

"Yeah, but that was before he decided it would be fun to join loony Dark wizards who kill people for fun. But I'm sure you supported that decision."

Orion's mouth twitched. "Maybe we did at first," he conceded. "But this is different. If you'd seen the way your brother had been acting, he wasn't himself. Something's happening and I was _hoping_ my son would tell me if he knew anything."

Thank Merlin the only other person in the pub was James. Tom had long ago disappeared. Sirius didn't need to feel embarrassed about the scene he was about to make. "So I'm your son now? I wasn't your son when I was Sorted into Gryffindor or when I made friends with James, Remus and Peter! I wasn't your son when I ran away and you didn't even care enough to come after me! I'm only your son now that something's happened to your precious Regulus! Why don't you go ask someone who cares?"

Orion starred at his son, who had jumped off his stool during the middle of his tirade. Maybe there was a part of him that didn't blame Sirius for being upset with him. He must have wanted to get that out for years. But the more dominant part of him wanted to know where Regulus had disappeared to. Walburga was terrified that something horrible had happened to him and, while Orion had initially said he was probably staying at a friend's, it just wasn't like Regulus to not visit them, let alone write to them, for so long.

"Please, Sirius, if you know anything, tell me." Orion was serious. He wasn't going to let Sirius's jealousy do something that would end badly.

"Look, I don't know anything. And I'm leaving. Regulus is fine." With a nod to James, who instantly got up from his seat, the two left the pub and went into Muggle London.

* * *

"So you spoke to your dad?"

"Well, he spoke, I yelled."

"Didn't you think that maybe he was right to be concerned and come to you?"

Sirius sighed in disgust and got up from his seat at the kitchen table. Remus revolved in his own seat and watched the man stalk across the room. "Of course I did."

"But?"

"But I'm a git and decided to just let my anger out on him. Regulus was scared when he came here, any idiot could see that. But I couldn't even take the time to really listen to what he had to say."

Remus frowned and stared at the tabletop. He could understand where Sirius was coming from. He had had nothing but hard feelings towards his family for years, that wasn't something easy to get past. But he could also see where Mr. Black was coming from. He was genuinely concerned for his youngest son and he wanted to know if Sirius had heard anything that could give him some comfort. As much as Remus didn't like the man, he could sympathize with him. "Maybe you should try talking to your father again?"

Sirius quickly shook his head. There was no way he was going back to talk to Orion Black. There was no chance in hell that he would do that. "No. Remus, I can't talk to him again, not after the way I acted."

"But you don't know if something really did happen to Regulus. Has anyone seen him in the past few weeks besides you?" Sirius shrugged, determined again to pretend that he didn't care and Remus saw right through this. "Sirius, you need to get over your problems with your family and face it. Something's wrong and you just don't want to see it."

"Maybe I don't," Sirius grudgingly admitted, but he wasn't going to do anything about it. Not right now, anyway. "I'm tired, I'm going to bed. See you in the morning."

Remus watched as his roommate left the room, disappearing up the hallway towards his bedroom. The Blacks weren't a good family by any means. Remus had had his fair share of attacks from them, though obviously not nearly as many as Sirius. Sirius was their son. He was supposed to be the heir to the Black Family and he had done so many things that would make other parents proud, but disgusted his own family.

It wasn't right, but that was the way it was.

He couldn't blame Sirius for being upset with his father. After years of not speaking, the only thing that could bring Orion Black to see his oldest son was Regulus. That was something that would get to Sirius. But Remus also knew that whatever happened, it wasn't good. Sirius had already lost his Uncle Alphard. Remus didn't want to imagine how he would react if something happened to his brother. Sirius always had hope for Regulus and most of it had been dashed away when Regulus joined the Death Eaters. Yet there was always that small bit of hope that Remus was sure remained.

* * *

It was quiet in the morning when Remus got up. Sirius was usually bustling around the kitchen, drinking too much coffee that he was likely to never come down from the caffeine high and cabinet doors were opening and closing as he looked for his breakfast. This morning, however, it was dead silent. Remus groggily sat up in his bed, wiping the sleep out of his eyes. Merlin it was warm in his room. He had a feeling they were in for a brutal summer. Swinging his legs over the edge of his bed, he yawned deeply. He really should see what was going on that made everything so strangely quiet.

When he entered the kitchen, he saw Sirius sitting on the counter, still in his pyjamas, a wrinkled letter clutched in his hand. He looked sick and Sirius hardly ever looked sick. Something was wrong and Remus was sure the answer to that was in the letter. Considering what they had spoken about two days ago, there was a sickening sensation that immediately filled his stomach. Sirius wouldn't be able to take it if something had happened… "Morning," he greeted cautiously, his stomach sinking when Sirius didn't even look at him in acknowledgement. Remus stepped further into the room. "Are you alright?"

Finally Sirius acknowledged him, by furiously shaking his head. "I got a letter from my dad," he told him in a hollow voice.

No… this wasn't going to be good. "What did it say?"

"My dad said Kreacher disappeared for a while last night and when he got back… when he got back he said Regulus had come for him. He said Regulus had something important he needed him to do. Kreacher wouldn't say what it was; he just said Regulus wasn't coming home." Sirius's hand clenched around the letter, crumpling it into a tiny ball. He didn't need to think about what that meant. Kreacher loved Regulus more than he had ever loved Sirius. Kreacher wouldn't lie about things that involved Regulus.

Sirius took a deep, shuddering breath. "My brother's dead, Remus."

Remus felt his heart sink in his chest. "I… I don't know what to say." He couldn't just say he was sorry, that wasn't enough. Sirius's brother was dead and no matter how much Sirius pretended to be indifferent to him, it was all a façade. Sirius had loved his brother; he had showed it every time he tried to talk to him. He had showed it every time he tried to turn his brother's path around, knowing it would only lead to some horrible. No matter how hard Sirius tried, it didn't amount to what he wanted it to.

Regulus was dead, regardless.

Sirius laughed harshly. "Regulus wanted out, Remus." He slid off the countertop and furiously threw the letter in the trash bin before rounding again on his roommate. Remus stayed where he was, knowing it was best to just let Sirius get this out now and do nothing to stop it. "He wanted out! He was a bloody coward for joining and a coward for trying to get out. The Death Eaters probably wanted to make him pay for trying to leave. You don't just join Voldemort and when you decide you've had enough, be given a care package and sent on your merry little way."

Remus could think of nothing to do except watch as Sirius shouted, raged. He was furious. "Sirius," he started to say, but Sirius wasn't finished yet.

"He's an idiot! He should never have joined them in the first place. I tried to tell him that, but he wouldn't listen! He thought he was doing something noble, trying to _purify_ the wizards. He was so _stupid!_ He should have realised that he was damning himself by joining them."

As much as Remus agreed with what Sirius was saying, he couldn't deny that Regulus had tried to repair the damage he'd made. It was just too late. "He was a kid, Sirius. He was just a kid."

"And that's my point! He shouldn't have had anything to do with it. But that doesn't matter anymore, does it? He's always just going to be a kid because he never got to live past that!"

"We're kids too," Remus quietly reminded him. "It doesn't matter if we're legally adults, compared to everyone else, we're just kids and we've done the same thing Regulus has done."

"But I doubt Dumbledore would kill one of us because we decided we didn't want to be in the Order anymore." In his anger, Sirius furiously kicked at one of the chairs, causing Remus to step back slightly. He had never seen Sirius like this before.

"He was sorry for what he did," Remus said, unsure of what to do. He carefully stepped up beside Sirius and laid a hand on his shoulder. "You said he wanted out. He must have been sorry."

"It doesn't matter. He shouldn't have had anything to be sorry for because he shouldn't have done it in the first place!" Sirius's jaw clenched and he turned away from his friend so he wouldn't see him hastily wipe away the tears that had formed in his eyes. Regulus was his brother, despite what he had done. He was his _brother_. Despite everything, Regulus was his brother. And Sirius was never going to get to see his brother again.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Eighty One: Until Death Do Us Part**_

"I heard that, Moony," Sirius muttered, finally tearing his eyes away from his speech and looking up at his friends. "Could you tell me what that's like? Seeing as you've had one already."

Remus narrowed his eyes at his roommate. "That was low, Padfoot."

"Yeah, probably, but I've got to finish this."

"Actually, you've got to come with us," Peter interjected.

Sirius blinked. "Why?"

"It's the night before James's wedding, it's customary the best friends of the groom do something that involves dragging him out and throwing him a party before he's married."

"But isn't there a party after the wedding anyway?"

"Yes… but this is something just 'for the men' or at least that's what my mum said," Remus explained. "So we need to go get James and go do something fun."


	81. Until the Death Do Us Part

Chapter Eighty One  
Until Death Do Us Part

It took Sirius weeks until he could even be considered normal again. There was no body to bury and so there was a quiet funeral for him that Sirius did not attend. The grave was empty, a gravestone marking it. Sirius went there on his own, unsure of why he did so. He was so mad at his brother for getting himself killed, but he was sad at the same time. Regulus was a bloody idiot, but he didn't deserve that end. Whatever his end was. No one even knew. The Blacks just assumed he had been killed by one of his own – one of the Death Eaters. Whatever the reason – Regulus had died too young. He hadn't even been out of school for a year before someone saw fit to take his life.

In an effort to cheer their friend up, James, Remus and Peter dragged him along when James had to get a tuxedo for his wedding. As Lily wanted a Muggle wedding, complete with a church and a priest, dress robes would be highly inappropriate. There was nothing funnier than watching James's face fall as he realised just how many parts there were to a tuxedo. He would rather have a wedding where he could just wear dress robes, but this was what Lily wanted and so he had to do it, no matter how grudgingly. It would all be worth it in the end, anyhow. He would be married to Lily Evans and it didn't matter if he was wearing a tuxedo or dress robes. Their efforts to cheer Sirius up proved fruitful when they triumphantly saw Sirius laugh as James tried to figure out just what to do with the cummerbund.

James also decided to drag Sirius along to pick out a wedding ring for Lily, as he had no idea what kind of jewellry girls thought was nice. Sirius didn't quite understand why James thought that _he_ would have a better idea of that, but he went anyway. He needed to get out of the flat, keep his mind off of his brother. He also needed to be there for his best friend, needed to be happy for him. He hadn't been there for Regulus and that had ended in the worst way. Of course, this wasn't a matter of life or death, but this was important to James. Sirius was his best friend _and_ his best man; it was the least he could do for him.

In the end, James picked out a nice, simple diamond ring that he was sure Lily would love.

The days leading up to the wedding were filled with last minute preparations. There was the food for the reception, making sure Lily's dress was finished by then, last minute checks on the seating arrangements. They could only be grateful that it was a small wedding and there weren't many people to seat. Both Lily and James knew it was unwise to have a large wedding in times like this. They didn't want to draw attention to themselves especially since they knew Death Eaters were after nearly everyone who would be in attendance, including the bride and groom. Fortunately, neither James nor Lily had had their hearts set on a big wedding in any case. Luckily they managed to get everything sorted out by the time of the rehearsal dinner.

"What's he doing?" Peter asked Remus curiously as they stepped into Remus's and Sirius's flat after work the evening before the wedding. Sirius was walking rapidly back and forth across the living room, a piece of parchment in hand and his chin was smeared in ink.

"He's working on his best man speech," Remus informed Peter, shaking his head sadly as Sirius hastily crossed something on the parchment out, muttering swiftly and incomprehensibly to himself. Sirius had been agonizing over what to say in the speech for days now. No matter how many times Remus tried to convince him that James would love whatever speech he gave, Sirius just wouldn't listen.

"Is he close to finishing?"

"No, but I believe he's close to having a nervous breakdown."

"I heard that, Moony," Sirius muttered, finally tearing his eyes away from his speech and looking up at his friends. He sent a glare at Remus and innocently asked, "Could you tell me what that's like? Seeing as you've had one already."

Remus narrowed his eyes at his roommate. "That was low, Padfoot."

"Yeah, probably, but I've got to finish this."

"Actually, you've got to come with us," Peter interjected.

Sirius blinked. "Why?"

"It's the night before James's wedding, it's customary for the best friends of the groom to do something that involves dragging him out and throwing him a party before he's married."

Sirius still didn't understand what they were going on about. Wasn't there going to be a party the next day? "But isn't there a party after the wedding anyway?"

"Yes… but this is something just 'for the men' or at least that's what my mum said," Remus explained thoughtfully. "So we need to go get James and go do something fun."

"I need to finish this," Sirius told them, nodding at his unfinished speech.

Peter and Remus exchanged exasperated glances before Remus stepped forward and pulled the speech out of his friend's hands. "There's something ironic about this," he commented, looking over his shoulder at Peter, who nodded vigorously.

"Yeah, isn't Sirius usually the one telling _you_ to go do something fun?"

"I'm astonished."

"As am I."

"Alright!" Sirius finally relented, snatching the parchment back from Remus, folding it into squares and pocketing it. "Merlin, are you going to start acting like James and me?"

"Well, we thought it was a good way to get you to come with us," Remus informed him, folding his arms across his chest.

"We've been friends for too long."

"And you've loved every minute of it."

Sirius rolled his eyes. He and Remus had been living together for _far_ too long. "Is Lily expecting us to drag James away?" What if Lily needed James to help her with some very, very last minute preparations and he wasn't there? He didn't want to face the wrath of an angry bride-to-be.

"Oh, she won't care," Peter told him. "She's gone out with Alice, Mrs. Potter, Mrs. Lupin and my mum."

"I think they actually begged us to take James out," Remus added with a laugh. "James is about as nervous as Lily; they needed a break from him."

"So it's our job to make sure that he enjoys himself tonight so he's not a wreck tomorrow morning."

"And to do that we need to take him out tonight and remind him that marrying Lily Evans is the best thing to ever happen to him."

"Aside from being friends with us."

Sirius's eyes darted from Remus to Peter in amazement. Had they been taking lessons from him and James on how to double talk like that? Shaking his head, he couldn't help but chuckle to himself. "Alright, let's go get Prongs."

* * *

By the time they were through with James, there was no way he could be nervous for his wedding. As it was, they doubted he could be nervous for anything that wasn't life-threatening, not after they dragged him to a Muggle club that involved the people there getting up in front of everyone and singing. It had been on Sirius's suggestion to go in there, just to get a good laugh at the others who attempted it, when he ended up getting it into his head that James should get up there and try – and James had far too much to drink to protest any further than demanding that Remus go up there with him. As Remus was the only one in their group who could actually hold a tune, he went up there; though it did take a firm shove between the shoulder blades from Sirius to get him to physically move.

Needless to say, after the train wreck that was James's performances, he was ready for anything.

However, that confidence he had developed the night before began to dissipate as the time of the wedding drew nearer. James stood anxiously at the back of the church, tugging anxiously at his tuxedo jacket, looking towards the closed door that led to the room Lily was in. What if she had taken the chance to run? Remus sat in the seat beside him, watching his friend, making sure he didn't fall into a dead faint. "Calm down, mate," Remus advised him.

"I'm getting _married_, Remus," James reminded him in a strained whisper.

"To a woman you're ridiculously in love with. What's there to be nervous about?"

"What if she has a revelation that I'm a prat and leaves me at the altar?" James had said this as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Lily could suddenly decide she would rather do anything than marry him!

Remus sighed and stood up, shaking his head. "She's had a long time to back out and she hasn't. I think she's going to go through with it."

"But there's always the chance she won't!"

"What's wrong with him?" Peter had appeared, straightening his tie. He had never been a fan of ties; they always made him feel like he was being choked.

"He thinks Lily's going to leave him at the altar," Remus explained exasperatedly. Peter shook his head knowingly; trust James to lose it now. When James began frantically pacing back and forth, Remus yelled into the next room, "Padfoot, get out here!"

Sirius, feeling quite handsome in his tuxedo, stepped into the room with a curious expression on his face. "What's going on, Moony?"

"James is going mental."

Sirius nodded, that was all he needed to hear. He had expected this. "I'll take care of this, guys. Why don't you two see if there's something anyone needs help with?" Remus and Peter instantly wandered off to go find something to do until Sirius had calmed his best friend down. Sirius stepped in James's path and gripped his shoulders. Glaring James in the eye, Sirius laid down the law. "Okay, Prongs, let's get a few things straight – Lily loves you, you bloody moron. Why else would she agree to marry you – and don't even try saying she had a temporary lapse of sanity. You know that's not true. So I want you to stop this pacing before you make everyone motion sick and go up there and get ready to marry her!"

James stared at Sirius with utter shock on his face, yet it was clear that his best man had gotten through to him. James swallowed with a bit of difficulty and went up to the altar, where the priest engaged him in conversation. When Sirius was sure James wasn't going to go mental again, he pulled the parchment out of his pocket and went back to finishing his speech. He would have had it finished the night before had it not been for Remus and Peter, but Sirius couldn't deny that it was worth it, just for getting to see James and Remus struggle through that song they were given.

Well, James struggled and he pulled Remus down with him.

It wasn't long before the church filled up. Sirius, Remus and Peter stood at the back of the church until the ceremony was ready to start. They recognise nearly everyone who showed up – members of the Order, Anna and Harry Lupin, Charles and Hannah Potter and Maggie Pettigrew. There were, however, two people that they did not recognise, but they knew in an instant who they must be. Judging from their uncomfortable and rather grudging looks, they could only be the Dursleys. Sirius caught James's eye and jerked his head in their direction. When James saw who it was, he immediately went to meet them.

He wasn't exactly sure what to call them. He had the slight suspicion that if he called them by their first names, they would consider him rude. He didn't respect them enough to call them Mr. and Mrs. Dursley either. So he settled for not calling them anything at all. "Hullo," he said cautiously. He wouldn't put it past Petunia and Vernon Dursley to make a scene at his wedding just because they thought Lily and he had made one at theirs.

Vernon nodded stiffly at him and did nothing more.

"I… I appreciate you coming. It means a lot to Lily." He said this mostly to Petunia, as he doubted Lily would care less if Vernon showed up. Her tirade at Privet Drive had been directed at Petunia, not at the particularly beefy man she had married.

"Well, Lily made it clear she wanted me to come," Petunia huffed, putting a concentrated effort of indifference into her voice.

James recognised this, but decided to make no mention of it; pretend he hadn't seen it at all. "Well, I'm glad you came." And he quickly made his way back to the altar.

It wasn't long before the ceremony was about to start. Sirius took his place beside James at the head of the church and he couldn't help but grin at the ecstatic look on his best friend's face as he watched Lily walk down the aisle in the white dress she had picked out for herself with the help of James's mother. James almost wished the entire ceremony was unnecessary, as he couldn't wait for the priest to just announce them as Mr. and Mrs. Potter. James had only the vaguest idea of what a Muggle wedding was like, though he had seen it at the rehearsal the night before. But he found that he was glad Lily had talked him into this.

He recited the wedding vows, meant every word he said. There was no one else out there for him except for Lily Evans. No matter how long it took for her to stop hating him, he knew she was the only person he could ever love. James couldn't help but be reminded of the first time he and Lily had ever gone out together – their trip to Hogsmeade in seventh year. It had been a fun day, marred only for a little while with the appearance of Severus Snape. Lily had declared that she could pick her own friends, that Snivelly had no say over it.

He also couldn't help but be reminded of the first time he had kissed Lily Evans. He had been so completely unromantic about it. In fact, everything about him was unromantic and maybe that was why he thought Lily wouldn't go through with the marriage. Now he realised what an ignorant prat he had been. Lily didn't care about that stuff. She always knew what she wanted and, for reasons James would never quite understand, she wanted him. For James, that was all he needed.

"Until death do you part?" the priest asked Lily.

James felt the smile spread across his face as Lily uttered, "I do."

The priest looked between Lily and James and then looked to those watching them. "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

And for the first time, James and Lily kissed as husband and wife.

"We told you Lily wasn't going to leave you at the altar," Sirius laughed later on before the reception. He pulled his best friend into a hug and clapped him cheerfully on the back. "Congratulations, mate."

"Thanks, Padfoot." James couldn't keep the silly, thrilled grin off of his face and he didn't very much care. He was married to Lily Evans, he was the happiest he had ever been. The only thing that could possibly ruin this day was a Death Eater attack and, for once, James was sure that wasn't going to happen.

The congratulations and hopes of a wonderful life together were exchanged and the reception soon began. Lily pulled herself away from James for a moment when she saw her sister and brother-in-law standing off in the background, looking unsure of whether or not they should actually be there. Lily had seen them when she walked in and she was surprised at how happy she was to see her sister. Petunia had, for just one day, gotten over her dislike of her younger sister and could just be there for her.

That was all Lily had asked.

"Thank you for coming," she sincerely told them both. She was even glad to see Vernon there, no matter how much the man disgusted her.

"Well," Petunia sniffed in her attempt to stay indifferent. "Mum and Dad would have wanted me to."

"And Mum and Dad would have wanted me at your wedding," Lily carefully reminded her.

Petunia said nothing in reference to that, not wanting to open up that can of worms. Then, with what looked like great effort, she said to Lily, "I'm happy for you."

A genuine smile crossed Lily's lips, especially since Petunia sounded as though she meant what she said. "Thank you. And you never gave me the chance to tell you that I'm happy for you too." No matter how much she despised Vernon, he made her sister happy. Despite all their differences over the years, she really just wanted Petunia to be happy. If it was Vernon Dursley that did that, Lily would just have to accept it. "Well, I need to go make the rounds with James." That was what Mrs. Potter and Mrs. Lupin had told her they had to do. She and James would have to go thank everyone there for coming. "Don't be so uncomfortable, these are wonderful people here."

If Petunia and Vernon chose to leave early, Lily wouldn't hold that against them. They had sat through the wedding, stayed long enough so she could talk to them. That was all she could ask for. They didn't have to mingle with any of the guests if they didn't want to. They had done the only thing Lily had asked of them – they had come.

Sirius, Remus and Peter all sat down at their table and Sirius pulled out the parchment that contained his speech. "You still haven't finished it?" Remus asked in amazement. Sirius had been up long after Remus gone to bed the night before and he assumed his roommate would have finished it by now.

Obviously he hadn't.

"No, and I'm going to have to give this speech soon," Sirius replied, staring at the speech with dislike. Maybe if he starred at it long enough, the speech would magically finish itself. Sirius would do anything for James, but he just wasn't good at making speeches. If he had to wing it, Merlin knew what would come out of his mouth.

Remus blew some air out of his mouth, his fringe fluttering up from it. Trust Sirius to leave this to the last minute. He looked at Peter, who shook his head dismally, clearly thinking along the same lines. Remus shifted his gaze to the newlyweds, who were currently talking to Dorcas Meadows and Elphias Doge. "They look happy."

Peter's gaze followed Remus's and rested on James and Lily as well. "Yeah, I bet they are."

"And isn't that what matters?" Remus asked Sirius pointedly.

"Of course," Sirius replied with a raised eyebrow, unsure of what Remus was trying to say.

"Shouldn't that be the point of your speech? It doesn't have to be something well-written. You just have to let your best friend know how happy you are for him."

"I _am_ happy for him," Sirius insisted.

"Then use that." Remus excused himself, getting up to go talk to his parents, who were sitting at the next table over.

"He's right, isn't he?" Sirius asked Peter.

Peter nodded. "As usual."

"I am happy for James and Lily. They deserve this." James and Lily deserved this more than anyone he knew. They really did love each other and it showed just in the way they would look at each other. Remus was right; he would have to use that to finish this speech.

"Yeah, they do."

"Well, don't sound so happy for them, Pete." He couldn't help but notice the slightly bored tone in his friend's voice and wondered why that was so. Sirius was absolutely giddy for the newlyweds and Peter may not have to feel just that, but at least crack a smile for them. One that was genuine.

"I _am_ happy for them," Peter snapped, getting up and crossing the room, in the direction of the loo. Sirius shook his head. Whatever problem Peter had, he had to solve it on his own. Sirius had his own situation to tackle at the moment. With that in mind, he bent over the parchment and began scrawling away.

"So how does it feel to be Mrs. Potter?" James asked Lily, slinging his arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him as they made their way to the table where James's parents were sitting.

"I've been Mrs. Potter for about an hour," Lily reminded him playfully, resting her head on his shoulder.

James chuckled, twirling a strand of her red hair around his finger. "That's long enough to make up your mind."

Lily glanced up at him, the radiant smile on her face matching the one on his. "It feels wonderful, James."

It wasn't long before they were intercepted by Hannah and Charles. They clearly saw the way the new Mr. and Mrs. Potter were headed and beat them to it. "My little boy's grown up," Hannah said tearfully, a watery smile on her face. She had practically bawled throughout the entire ceremony. "Soon there will be grandchildren running about."

James instantly started sputtering. _Grandchildren? _"M-Mum… we've only been married for a little while!"

Lily laughed lightly to herself. Of course she wanted children, but she was thinking along the same lines as James. They had only been married for little over an hour. There was plenty of time to concern themselves with that. One day Hannah would get her wish of little Potters running about, but it wasn't going to be soon.

"I think James wants to wait on that one," Charles surmised, looking at the flabbergasted expression on his son's face.

Soon everyone sat down to eat and it came time for Sirius to deliver his speech. Sirius quietly cleared his throat and pulled out the battered piece of parchment he had been nervously clinging to for the past two days. He stared down at it, studying it for a moment before crumpling it up and stuffing it back in his pocket. Remus was right – he just needed to use his happiness for Lily and James. And he was happy for them, completely thrilled for them. He didn't need written words to prove that.

"I hope everyone's having a good time?" he began, grinning at the appreciative applause he heard. "So, as most of you know, I'm Sirius Black and for some reason beyond my realm of understanding, James picked me to be his best man." There was a round of laughter, most noticeably from James. "Now I've spent days agonizing over this speech, as my roommate can attest to." He gestured to Remus, who rolled his eyes, but nodded. "I've known James and Lily since I was eleven, when James picked his nose and Lily thought boys were icky" There was another bout of laughter. "Not that I know either of them did or felt those things… Anyway, that was back when all the Gryffindor first years and some seventh years worked together to take down the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor."

There was another round of laughter from all involved in that. They still considered it one of their greatest moments at Hogwarts – Professor Crane announcing his resignation because of them.

"The funny thing is, because of that, Lily decided she hated James, thought he was a bigheaded, egotistical prat, which she's completely right about," Sirius added cheekily. "It took him years before he could finally even get her to consider him. Lily," Sirius turned his attention to the bride. "You should have seen him panicking before your first date, worried that he was going to make a complete fool of himself. He actually did when he nearly fell off the bench at the Gryffindor table. Obviously it all worked out in the end, didn't it?" There was another round of laughter. Sirius lifted his glass and nodded for everyone to do the same. His joking was over.

"In times like these, to see something so normal, so wonderful like two people falling in love and getting married, it reminds us that we can all get through this. This proves life can still be as normal as we can make it. Two people can still fall in love and be happy together and I know I'm not alone in this when I want to wish James and Lily Potter the best life together they can possibly have." Sirius raised his glass, smiling at the newlyweds. "We're all happy for you and we all want you to have the best life together you can possibly have because no one deserves it more than you two do."

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Eighty Two - Can't Always be the Hero**_

"Let them leave," James snarled, astonished that his voice could remain so steady when he felt like being violently sick. Hopefully that said something to Voldemort. James wasn't about to be taken down easily. "They haven't done anything, leave them alone!"

"James," Lily said warningly. She was not about to let her husband offer himself up for the kill just to save her. This wouldn't be how it ended.

"Quiet!" Voldemort snapped. He hadn't allowed the _Mudblood_ to speak. What gave her the right to think she was allowed to?


	82. Can't Always be the Hero

Chapter Eighty Two  
Can't always be the Hero

"Hey, Remus, would you mind locking the place up tonight?"

"Sure, no problem. Going somewhere?"

"To my mum's. I haven't seen her since James and Lily's wedding."

Remus finished cleaning the silver novelty owl and set it on its appropriate place on the shelf. He had forgotten that Peter hadn't seen much of his mother lately and he didn't have to mind closing up the shop on his own so Peter could see her. Maggie Pettigrew must have missed her son a lot. This also reminded Remus that he should go visit his parents sometime soon. He had been there two weeks ago when it was his mum's birthday, but not since. And his parents had asked him not to be a stranger when he moved out. That was the last thing he wanted to do, especially after everything his parents had done for him.

"When's the next full moon?" Peter asked suddenly, dropping the level of his voice. So far he had been able to deal with Remus disappearing for a day or two for his transformation. But Christmas was coming soon and, if the previous year was any indication, the store would be extremely busy and he would need all the help he could manage. He couldn't deal with being an employee short. He knew Remus couldn't control this, but it didn't mean Peter had to be happy when he had to do twice the work because his only employee was too sick to do anything. He had hired Remus out of pity and a desire to shut Sirius up, as Sirius had droned on incessantly about all the times Remus had helped him out and he should do the same.

"In a few days, on the eleventh," Remus told him, pulling a rag out of his pocket and dusting off one of the top shelves.

"You ever think they'll find something to cure it?" Peter found that he did not ask this question so much for his friend's well-being as he did for that of his shop. If there was something to cure Remus of his Lycanthropy, even make it a little more bearable so he wouldn't have to miss work, it could only benefit Peter's shop.

Remus shrugged. He'd gotten his hopes up too many times when he was younger to really care, anymore. "Who knows? I'll probably be long gone by the time that happens." Stuffing the rag in his pocket, he turned again to Peter. "If you want to get going to your mum's, I'll be fine here on my own."

Peter nodded. "Thanks." Grabbing his coat, he bid Remus goodnight and stepped out into the darkening night. Remus was a good worker, Peter couldn't deny that. But what got to him was that Remus did become bloody _useless_ when the full moon was close. And Sirius was no help either. He would come in and try to convince Peter to let his roommate off early. Peter wasn't having that. He had a shop to run and he wasn't letting his friend's illness get in the way of that. It wasn't Peter's fault that Remus became a monster once a month; it had been Remus's decision to go out in the middle of the night when he was a kid.

Peter walked through Hogsmeade, ignoring the passersby around him. That was something he had been doing a lot of lately – ignoring people, refusing to make eye contact. Who knew who these people were? With his luck, they would be Death Eaters who would recognise him from fights with the Order and they would murder him on the spot. That was another thing – he was sick of being in the Order. He had never wanted to be in it in the first place. James, Sirius and Remus had dragged him into it. He had had no say in it, and he doubted they would care if he told them that.

He was so _stupid_ for allowing this to happen. They may have had death wishes, but he didn't. He wasn't a fool like they were.

He wanted out. Peter didn't want to be a part of it anymore. He didn't like having to rely on the Order for his safety and he _certainly_ didn't like being at the mercy of the Death Eaters. Maybe they weren't so wrong in what they did. They were just trying to make a point, weren't they? Maybe Peter didn't necessarily like that they'd hurt people, but didn't some of them bring it upon themselves by getting in the way? Though there was the unbidden voice in the back of his mind that reminded him of his father's fate.

That must have been a fluke. Peter had to dismiss it as a fluke. That could be the only explanation for his father's death. Peter could never imagine his father _deserving_ to be killed. Not John Pettigrew. He was smart; he would know when to back off and let nature run its course. He wouldn't get in the way and die because of it.

And Peter didn't deserve to die either. He didn't deserve to have his life threatened because of the decisions the people he called his friends make for him. If they cared about him at all, they would have consulted him instead of just _assuming_ he would want to jump right into the battle. He didn't want to fight anymore. He thought that should have been obvious after the fight in Diagon Alley, but apparently his friends were for denser than he could have ever imagined. Peter Pettigrew wasn't going to just be another casualty of this war. Not if he could help it.

* * *

"Duck!"

There were several shouts as something exploded overhead, debris raining on the witches and wizards running about the ground below. Alastor Moody had shouted for the villagers to duck, shield themselves from the falling debris. A wall of a two-story house had been blasted open, and not much time passed when a hole was blasted into a wall on the first story. It was with horror that the Order saw the Death Eaters begin to swarm inside. If there was a family in there, Merlin knew what horrific tactics the Death Eaters would resort to.

Images of Marlene McKinnon flashed through their minds. She had been home when the Death Eaters had come calling and she had died not long after. There was no way they were letting that happen a second time, especially to a family that didn't even know what was happening.

"Where's Peter?" Sirius shouted over the noise when he came upon Remus, who had just stomped on the hem of his robes, stamping out the flames that had caught there. There was a gash on Remus's left cheek that was steadily dripping blood and his robes were singed and dirty. Sirius's own face was ashen and covered with soot, as well as a bruise swelling under his right eye. His eyes were wide with worry. He couldn't remember seeing Peter anywhere and prayed that the man was okay.

"I don't know," Remus replied, ducking and pushing Sirius down with him as a spell went flying over their heads. Kneeling on the ground, he added, "I haven't seen him. Maybe he isn't here!"

Sirius swore. As much as he didn't want Peter to get hurt, the prat should have been here. This was what the Order was supposed to do. Why did Peter keep forgetting that? When there were more shouts coming from all around them, Sirius knew they had to split up. "Be careful, mate," he told Remus. "See you at home." That was said with the faint hope that they would both make it home. During the past few fights with these menaces, Sirius was beginning to doubt if they'd all make it through this war alive. Despite the sentiments he had presented at Lily and James's wedding, he wasn't sure they would all be able to get through this.

The world was falling to shambles and they had front row seats to it.

Lily Potter couldn't find her husband. James had been standing beside her right when the explosion happened and, when the smoke cleared, he was gone. Why did he keep doing this to her? Disappearing in the middle of battles like this. First in Diagon Alley when he had proposed to her and run off, and now this! It didn't help that she had something important to tell him. She had wanted to tell him earlier when they were home, but then they'd gotten the call to Apparate to this village and she hadn't gotten the chance.

Merlin, what she had to tell him was _important_. It was life-altering! Hell, she shouldn't have even been here right now. It wasn't safe for her.

At the sight of a Death Eater making a beeline for her, Lily drew up her wand and shouted, "_Stupefy!_" The cloaked figure collapsed backwards, his body landing with a satisfying _thud_ on the pavement. This gave Lily a moment's reprieve before there was another explosion too close to her for her liking. She had to find James. She _had_ to tell him her news. She didn't care if they were in the middle of a battle, he needed to know. Or maybe she should wait until the fight was over. She wouldn't put it past James to drop into a dead faint.

"Lily, you can't just stand here!"

Lily whipped around and saw Dorcas Meadows hurrying towards her. Dorcas's face was grey and sweaty; a splotch of blood stained the front of her robes. Lily couldn't help but wonder whose blood that was. The older woman instantly grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her out of danger's path.

"Have you seen James?" Lily asked Dorcas frantically.

"He was going after some mutant last time I saw," Dorcas replied breathlessly, her eyes lit with rage. Lily didn't have to ask what the woman meant by a mutant. James was fighting a Death Eater. She wouldn't be relieved by knowing what he was doing. He was still in danger, but at least she knew someone had seen him. "There were children in that building the Death Eaters just blasted apart."

Lily's heart sank and her fury increased tenfold. Why did the Death Eaters have to keep going after children? Didn't they know the quickest way to instill the fury of a woman was to go after a child? "There _were_ children?" she repeated shakily. The use of past tense wasn't helping matters.

"They're still there," Dorcas assured her. "We're going to get them out. I'll be damned if anymore children die because of those bastards."

Lily ran after Dorcas, sliding on the ground and nearly falling to her feet. When she glanced back to see what it was she had slipped on, she saw the red pool staining the ground, streaks of it covering the path she had just slid in. She nearly retched at the sight of the blood, even more so when she saw it was an elderly woman who was lying closest to the pool of it, her right leg ripped open. But Lily had to forget about it. As cruel and callous as it sounded, she had to forget about the injured woman and focus on saving those children before they met a similar fate.

They didn't want this to be a repeat of what happened in Diagon Alley, where they had seen too many dead children for their liking.

Dorcas and Lily sprinted into the building, noticing the thick clouds of smoke filling the rooms at once. They both coughed before Dorcas had the presence of mind to cast the Bubble-Head Charm over them so they could breathe. The Death Eaters hadn't gotten much of a head start and the two Order members caught up with them in no time. But before Lily could run after the cowards, she spotted a frightened little boy hiding behind an overturned table. Her motherly instincts instantly overtaking her, and they were stronger than ever, she hurried over to the boy. "Run outside now," she told him. "There's a man with long black hair, he'll help you, just shout for Padfoot." She had described Sirius to him, knowing Sirius would abandon whatever fight he was in to help a child.

The little boy stared at her as if he wasn't uncertain whether or not he should listen to her. _Good_, Lily thought fiercely; he didn't trust people too easily. That wasn't something any of them could afford to do these days – give their trust so easily. But soon the boy decided that Lily looked like someone he could listen to and he ran. When she was certain he was gone, Lily ran back to help Dorcas, who had already found a Death Eater to take on. "_Stupefy!_" Lily shouted, waving her wand towards a masked figure that had raised his wand at her. The spell was deflected, unfortunately, and the jet of light slammed into a wooden beam, causing it to crack in two.

Sweet Merlin, Lily prayed the ceiling wouldn't give way.

James Potter had lost sight of his wife. When the explosion went off, he couldn't find anyone through the smoke. He thought he had seen the back of Gideon's (or maybe it was Fabian's) head for a moment before the Prewitt ran off. He couldn't even find Sirius or Remus. He didn't even _know_ if Peter was here. He wanted nothing more than to see a familiar face, someone to let him know he wasn't suddenly completely alone here. But he couldn't see any of the Order and it looked like, for the moment, he _was_ completely alone here.

And the idea terrified him more than he would ever admit.

If he was alone, no one would think twice when a Death Eater came after him. James was just a Healer; it was people like Sirius who were the best at fighting the Death Eaters. People like Sirius, Moody, Frank and Alice – they were all Aurors. This was their _job_. It was James's job to heal the injured, but that didn't mean he was going to stop fighting. There would only be more injured to heal if he did. This was something that was important to him – the freedom of his friends, the people of the Wizarding World. He would do whatever it took to make sure they had that freedom.

But that didn't mean he wasn't bloody terrified.

It was then that he saw an unmistakable flash of red rush past him. _Lily_. Thank Merlin! If she was able to run, it meant she hadn't been hurt badly, if she was hurt at all. Without waiting, James darted after her. She was heading towards the building that had been blasted apart and, unless he was mistaken, that was Dorcas with her. The woman had been fierce ever since Benjy died. She had been disgusted by the way he had been killed and would do anything to avenge his death. James was almost afraid to know just what lengths she would go to. James made his way towards the house and was completely unaware of the Stunning Spell shot at him from behind. He remained unaware of it, even when his face met the ground.

* * *

Pain, horribly wet pain.

James was lying face down on a cold, wooden surface. His nose was searing with unbearable pain and blood was dripping down his face. Gagging slightly, he spat the red substance out of his mouth and wearily picked himself up. He was in a cold, dark room and he had a strong suspicion this was the place he had been running towards earlier. What scared him even more was that it was horrible quiet, an eerie sort of quiet. The kind of quiet that only came in nightmares – nightmares that ended in the worst possible way right before the dreamer woke up. Sweet Merlin, his head hurt badly.

"Ah, you're awake."

James's blood went cold. He knew that voice; he had heard it only once before but it was only too recognizable. It was the kind of voice a person couldn't forget no matter how hard they tried. This wasn't good… he was alone in an unfamiliar place with Lord Voldemort. So much for a happy life with his wife… James instantly went on his guard. He groped for his wand, which was mercifully lying next to him. He wouldn't have been surprised if Voldemort had taken his wand. Perhaps he wanted to fight fairly. His grip on the wand was tight and his arm remarkably steady, considering the way his nerves were jangling inside of him. He scrambled to his feet, knowing he was vulnerable if he remained lying on the floor.

"If you haven't realised yet, Potter, we have visitors."

James hadn't realised it and now that he did, he felt ill. Lily and Dorcas were in the room as well, both pale as ghosts. No, no, _Merlin¸ _no. Lily couldn't be here. Not his _wife_. Not her. Was this how long they would get to be married? For barely two months before it was all taken away from them? And Dorcas… Dorcas wasn't young, but she wasn't old either. No, _none_ of them should have been here, at the mercy of this maniac, the cause behind this whole war.

"Let them leave," James snarled, astonished that his voice could remain so steady when he felt like being violently sick. Hopefully that said something to Voldemort. James wasn't about to be taken down easily. "They haven't done anything, leave them alone!"

"James," Lily said warningly. She was not about to let her husband offer himself up for the kill just to save her. This wouldn't be how it ended.

"Quiet!" Voldemort snapped. He hadn't allowed the _Mudblood_ to speak. What gave her the right to think she was allowed to?

James started forward as Voldemort raised his wand, in the same instance that Dorcas did as well. Voldemort let them come forward; he welcomed it, actually. He had plans for all of them and it would be so much more helpful if they were closer to him. Of course, their distance didn't matter, but it would be so much more satisfying to see them writhing in pain close up, to really see the lights leave their eyes.

"James, get out of here," Dorcas hissed, her eyes darting to the young man for a moment before darting back to their adversary. James was too young; he had just started living his life. This wasn't his battle to fight. This _shouldn't _be his battle to fight. He was a bloody child compared to the rest of them! "Take Lily and just go."

James was horrified that the idea was appealing to him. It shouldn't have been; he was a fighter and so was Lily. He really did just want to go. He just wanted to take Lily and run like Dorcas told him to, but he couldn't. He couldn't leave Dorcas here alone. No one could take on Voldemort alone and come out of it to tell the tale. No matter how powerful Dorcas was, she wasn't powerful enough.

"Isn't this sentimental?" Voldemort sneered. "You two are the ones I want; I have no need for her." When James and Lily saw Voldemort was looking at Dorcas, they protectively blocked her. She wasn't going to be a causality of the fight just because she wasn't _needed_. "Standing in front of her will do nothing to save her life." With one simple, horribly simple, wave of his wand, Lily and James were sent flying back in opposite directions.

"Dorcas!" Lily shouted as the woman rushed at Voldemort, the fury emanating from her. She tried to pick herself up, but Voldemort casually sent a Full-Body Bind at her and one at James, just in case. Voldemort had no doubt that if he hurt the wife, the husband would be after him in a second. Both Lily's and James's heads were spinning; so much that they couldn't even stop the spells mentally. They could do nothing except watch with still eyes as Dorcas tried to take on arguably the most powerful, most _evil_ wizard of their time.

Dorcas was a fighter as well, but she wasn't enough of a fighter to win this. She knew it from the moment she rushed at the monster. But she was going to put up the best fight she could. She wasn't giving Voldemort the satisfaction of killing her like he had killing Marlene and Benjy. They were two good, courageous people and hadn't deserved their fates. They were caught off guard, hadn't had the chance to defend themselves. Voldemort may not have killed them personally, but he had ordered it and he wasn't going to get away with it. Not while she was here and able to do something about it.

"_Crucio!_" Voldemort snarled and Dorcas just avoided the spell, allowing it to crash into a wooden beam behind her. The beam cracked in half, though it managed to stay together by a single splinter.

Dorcas was fuming. The Unforgivables were the worst spells a wizard could cast and it had been sent at her, could have gone wide and hit James or Lily, both of whom were defenceless. She rushed again at Voldemort, shooting off every spell she could think of, regardless of whether or not she had learned them in her first year at Hogwarts. But Voldemort deflected them all so easily, as if he barely had to try. She wasn't a poor, unskilled witch by any means. Voldemort was just too bloody _good_ at this. It was unsettling.

And she was disarmed. She had been _disarmed_. No sooner had she been disarmed, she was knocked off her feet with Voldemort's wand jammed into her throat.

"You interfered. You didn't have to die. You could have left, but you chose to meddle and you're not going to leave her." Voldemort's voice was a deadly whisper and quite possibly the last thing she would ever hear. Dorcas was scared, but she wouldn't show it. She wouldn't give Voldemort the satisfaction of seeing her fear. That would not be the last thing he saw. She knew it was coming. She knew before he even said it. She knew she was going to die.

She didn't even hear the words as the life left her body.

There was silence as Dorcas fell limply back against the floor. The silence was only broken by the shout of rage from James as the Full Body Bind finally broke. He flung himself up and rushed towards Voldemort, intent on ripping the monster apart. He didn't need his wand, he could use his fists. He doubted Voldemort knew how to fight with his fists.

"You don't have to do this, Potter," Voldemort spat, disgusted that the man would stoop to something as pathetic as Muggle dueling. "You don't have to die if you just realise the winning side, the side that will let you and your wife live."

The spell had lifted from Lily as well and she held her wand steady, pointing at the murderer. There were visible tears in her eyes. Dorcas was gone. She had seen the light leave Dorcas's eyes. And here Voldemort was, offering them the chance to live, but at what price? Sacrificing all their values just to save their own lives. They would never do that, not after Dorcas had just died defending them and what she believed in.

"We've told you once before," James hissed furiously. "We're never going to do it. We're NEVER going to do it." James wanted to kill him; he wanted to kill this sorry excuse for a human, if that's what he even was.

James flung himself towards the head Death Eater, resorting to using his fists. It was only when there was a deafening blast that the fight stopped.

* * *

"Where am I?"

"St. Mungo's. You've been out for hours. It's tomorrow."

James's vision was badly blurred. Very slowly, the white room came into focus, as well as the red haired woman who sat beside him. Lily's face was whiter than he remembered as she stared at him, though the relief evident in her eyes. There were bruises and cuts that had already been treated marring her pretty face, but she was there, alive. James couldn't remember much about what occurred in the building after he went after Voldemort. There was a blast, he knew that much… and there was a blinding pain. "W-what happened?"

Lily's breathing was unsteady. The Healers had told her James would be okay, but she wouldn't believe it until she saw him open his eyes. Charles had come in earlier to check on him, sickness and worry etched into every line on his old face. He refused to treat his own son, saying he'd die first than do that, but he had to check on him, regardless. "The Death Eaters didn't know Voldemort was inside the building and were blowing it up, one of the explosions caught you just at your legs."

It was then that James recognised the heavy weight pressing down on him were his legs. They were bandaged so much that James didn't want to know what they looked like underneath. He imagined whatever was in his stomach wouldn't remain in there if he looked. Shaking his head, he closed his eyes for a moment as a wave of nausea hit him. When he it passed, he finally said, "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have acted like that in there."

He had wanted to save Dorcas. The woman shouldn't have died and he felt responsible for it. Voldemort didn't _need_ her, so she was disposed. It wasn't right! James knew he wouldn't always be able to save people, but he wanted to. Dorcas was a good woman and it had enraged James to see her kill like that.

"You were upset." James's behaviour was understandable. He was upset; he had just watched someone die. Most of all, it was someone he had called a friend. Of course he wanted to kill the person who did it and she didn't doubt that he wouldn't actually kill Voldemort. The thought frightened her a bit, but she couldn't deny she had felt the same way. That frightened her even more. "I… I made sure that our side got Dorcas…"

James sat up a little straighter. "Where is she now?"

"Remus and Fabian Apparated here with her. They're waiting to find out when the Healers will release her to her family." Lily took another unsteady breath. She had lost one of her friends and had almost lost her husband. James could have been killed instead of just having badly burned legs. He wouldn't be able to walk for a few days, that was all. He would be okay. He was so lucky. He could have died! He could have died without knowing what Lily wanted to tell him.

"James, I need to tell you something."

The urgency in Lily's voice had James sit up so quickly that he winced horribly. "What is it? You're not hurt, are you?" She didn't look hurt other than the bruises and cuts, but he couldn't see everything. What if the blast had gotten her as well? But if she was hurt, why wasn't she lying in a bed? No, that couldn't be it; it was something else.

"James, do you remember that night a few weeks ago, when we went to the Three Broomsticks for dinner?"

James barely had to think to recall what night she had been talking about. It had been a wonderful night, starting with dinner and ending in an entirely different way, a way that led back to their flat. Of course he would remember that. "Of course I do, Lily."

"I went to the Healers and they told me…" Lily took a deep breath. After everything that happened the previous day, this wonderful news worried her. How could she possibly do this when the world was going straight to hell right before her eyes? "James, I'm pregnant."

It took one full second for James to drop back onto his pillows in a dead faint.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Eighty Three: Worrisome and Joyous**_

"Gingerbread men!"

Remus, who had been perusing a book he'd found on the coffee table, glanced up with a raised eyebrow. "Pardon?"

"Let's make gingerbread men!"

Remus was silent for a moment before saying, "You know, that's not a bad idea." He set the book down. "But do we have all the ingredients?"

"We have to have some of it. Didn't your mum stock our cabinets the last time she was here?"


	83. Worrisome and Joyous

Chapter Eighty Three  
Worrisome and Joyous

A father. James was going to be a father. How was that _possible?_ Well, he knew how it was possible, but he just didn't seem old enough to be a father. Maybe it was because his own father hadn't been young by any means when James was born. James was only nineteen and in nine months he would be in charge of another life. He would be in charge of a defenceless baby, a baby who would be born into a world turn upside down. Merlin that was a frightening thought. He knew Lily was just as scared as he was, even more.

She was the one carrying the baby.

James was happy though; he would never say he wasn't. He was deliriously happy and that seemed to balance out the horror he was experiencing. He knew he had always wanted to be a father. He wanted to know the joy an adult got from raising a son or a daughter. He just didn't think it would happen when he was nineteen. Then again, he'd been married at nineteen and he hadn't thought that would happen either. Technically, he would be twenty by the time the baby came. Still, it was so young. Merlin, there were so many things they had to think about before those months were up.

James was released from St. Mungo's three days later with strict instructions to take it easy. Seeing that he worked at St. Mungo's, if the Healers saw him back at work a day earlier than he was supposed to be, they would never let him forget it. So James knew it was in his best interest to stay at home. Besides, it hurt too much to walk that he didn't want to risk reversing the healing process. He had been supplied a cane to help him get around when he needed to and Lily had made it her business to help him whenever he needed it, though James wasn't keen on letting her. She had to take care of herself first; she had to take care of the baby.

There was a quiet funeral for Dorcas. She didn't have much family left, aside from her sister. Perhaps it was because of this that it was even harder to go to than it had been for Marlene. Dorcas was all the woman had left and now she was gone. No one doubted she went down like a hero; they didn't need Lily and James to vouch for her. But she needn't have died in the first place; she could have run. It wasn't her Voldemort wanted. He wanted Lily and James. Dorcas didn't have to die.

And that had been the second time James and Lily had escaped from Voldemort. How many more times could they get away? According to Lily, when the explosion happened, Voldemort disappeared. Whether he had run or had been blasted out of the building, it didn't matter. He was gone and James was alive. That was all they could ask for.

Sirius, Remus and Peter entered the Potters' tiny flat, all wearing curious expressions on their faces. James had sent Sirius an urgent message through the two-way mirror and Sirius relayed the message to Remus and Peter. The moment those two got out of work they all made their way to see what James wanted. He had already told them he would heal okay, what was it now? "So what was so important? You're not hurt again, are you?" Sirius asked, real concern filling his voice. He had been sick when he found out what had happened to his best friend.

"No, no, I'm okay," James replied from his seat on the couch. His legs were still bandaged and they were propped up on a pillow on the coffee table. His cane was leaning against the arm of the couch. "Sit down."

His friends did as he asked and Sirius posed his question again. What was it that James had sounded so urgent about?

James knew Sirius wouldn't relax until he knew what it was James wanted, so he dived right in. "Lily's pregnant."

There was silence. Unlike when James announced he and Lily would be married and there had been raucous cheers, this time there was dead silence. James's eyes darted in a panic from Sirius to Remus to Peter, waiting for one of them to say something, anything. He didn't like that they were being so quiet. In the years he had known there, they were rarely _this _quiet. "Err… guys? Aren't you going to say something?"

Maybe they should have said something right away, but they were all just shocked. James and Lily had only been married since September. The fact that they were in the middle of a war wasn't a comforting one either, though that was more Remus's worry than it was Sirius's or Peter's, who were both just shocked by the news. "That's brilliant, James!" Sirius said, finally cracking a smile for his best friend. "Wow, you're going to be a dad."

A smile broke onto James's face. He beamed at Sirius. "Thanks, Padfoot!"

"Yeah, it's great, Prongs," Peter told him, a small grin on his face.

"Yeah, it is," Remus said quietly. There was a smile on his face, but worry was clearly etched into his face.

"What's up, Moony?" James asked, narrowing his eyes. He knew that look all too well. It was best to get whatever was behind it out in the open now.

Remus quickly shook his head. He wasn't about to ruin this for James. "Nothing, Prongs. I'm really happy for you, tell Lily I said congratulations."

James still looked doubtful, but he nodded.

"How long as Lily known?" Sirius asked.

"About a month, so not very long."

"A month seems long to me," Peter mused.

"When you compare it to the nine months she's going to be carrying the baby, it's not very long." And those months were going to be filled with Lily on an emotional overdrive. Lily was going to have strange cravings and James knew he was going to be expected to get whatever it was that she wanted. This was what he had picked up from listening to conversations, not to mention the book he had snuck out and bought the night before. He also had heard something about Lily blaming him for every horrible thing in existence when she was giving birth.

Well, it wasn't as if he wasn't used to that. That was how it had been for the first few years they had known each other.

Sirius, Remus and Peter stayed just long enough to congratulate Lily when she came in. They knew James and Lily would have plenty of planning and talking to do, so they didn't overstay their welcome. James did, however, pull Sirius aside as they were leaving. Sirius was curious about this, as James had done it in the very same manner he had when he wanted to ask Sirius if he would be his best man. When James asked Sirius to be his child's godfather, it took Sirius a moment to register what he was hearing, before beaming brightly and accepting with hardly any hesitation.

"Moony," Sirius repeated for the third time that night. He and Remus were sitting in the living room. Sirius was working on the crossword puzzle in the _Daily Prophet_ and a book was open in Remus's lap, though he was obviously not reading it. He still had that same look of worry he had been wearing at James's earlier.

"Hmm?" Remus finally turned the page of his book and didn't bother looking up at his roommate.

"What are you worried about?"

Remus still didn't look up from the book. Instead he kept up the charade of reading. "Who says I'm worried about anything?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Honestly, Moony, I've known you since we were eleven; I think I know when you're worried about something."

Remus couldn't deny that and he knew Sirius wasn't going to rest until he knew what it was. It was best to save them both the hassle of an arguement. Closing the book, he said, "You're going to think I'm awful."

Sirius grinned cheekily. "I already think that, so it can't hurt."

Remus ignored Sirius's remark. "I'm happy for James and Lily, but I can't help but think having a baby now, of all times, is not the best thing."

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "So what are you suggesting they do?"

"I'm not suggesting anything!" Remus quickly insisted. He leaned back on the couch and shut his eyes for a moment. "I told you you'd think I was awful."

"I don't think that. I think you're concerned."

"Yes. If this was any other time, I'd be thrilled for them. We're in the middle of a war, though. How many times have all of us almost been killed? And then you add a baby to it all and, I don't know. I just hope nothing happens to Lily."

Sirius saw where Remus was coming from. Lily had been in the building when the Death Eaters blasting through it. It wasn't lucky that James had been the one who was hurt, but it was only chance that it hadn't been Lily. If it had been, Sirius doubted there would be a little Potter on the way. Voldemort had gone after them twice now, who was to say it wouldn't happen again? "I know what you mean. I'm happy for them, but I do worry."

"You're just better at hiding it, I suppose."

"That seems to be the case." Sirius placed his hands on his knees and stood up from his seat in the armchair. "But we've got to be there for them, right?"

"Of course."

"When Lily starts craving strange foods and James can't possibly make them all by himself, we're going to help right?"

"Can't we ask my mum or his mum to help with that? Merlin knows neither of us can cook. We can even ask Peter."

Sirius brought his index finger to his chin. "Good point. We'll get Wormtail to do that." He folded up the newspaper and tucked it under his arm. "I've got some studying to do. Moody's got some top secret plans for training tomorrow and I have a feeling it's going to be scary."

"Knowing Moody, it will be."

* * *

There was every possibility that the shriek of joy that would come out of Hannah Potter's mouth would shatter every eardrum in all of the United Kingdom, and possibly Canada too. James was certain he should have brought some earplugs with him when he and Lily went to see his parents, just in case. James was still using the cane St. Mungo's had provided him with, something his mother fussed over the second the newlyweds stepped through the doorway. She absolutely insisted that her son sit down.

"Hannah, it's actually good if he walks on that leg," Charles told his wife patiently. However, when it came to her son's injuries, Charles's expertise as a Healer no longer had any bearings on anything. She wanted to make sure her son was comfortable and wasn't straining himself. So James had no choice but to obediently sit down on the sofa and prop his legs up. James knew there were worse things in life than having his mother fuss over him.

"How are you feeling, James?" Charles asked as he sat down on his son's left while Lily sat on the other side and Hannah bustled off to help Willie in the kitchen.

"Better, doesn't hurt nearly as much. I should be allowed to come back to work in a few days." James hoped he would get to go back to work. He was tired of being cooped up in the flat all day.

Charles chuckled to himself. "If your mother gets wind of that, she'll beg me to have your leave extended another week." Chuckling again at James's look of horror, he turned his attention to his daughter-in-law. "How are things at the _Prophet_?"

"Oh, wonderful," Lily said, beaming. "Mr. Lupin's making sure I get some brilliant stories to write." That was a definite benefit of being friends with one of the top writer's son. Lily had never had better stories to write and she was greatly enjoying it.

It wasn't long before Hannah and Willie entered the room, both bearing trays. Willie was carrying a tray of treacle tart and Hannah carried a tray of drinks for them. Lily instantly got up from her seat to help the woman and the House Elf. James would have gotten up himself to help, but he had a strong feeling his mother would have his head if he performed any unnecessary movement. So he simply settled in his seat, halfheartedly asking if they needed help, just to see what his mother would do. "James Charles Potter," Hannah said warningly.

James smirked and innocently said, "If was just trying to be a good son."

Hannah tried to keep the stern look on her face, but the corners of her lips turned up. James couldn't help but notice something as his mother handed him a glass of pumpkin juice. His mother looked old. Of course, she had always been old. She wasn't young by any means when he was born. Yet it showed now more than it ever had. The same went for his father. James saw this as he glanced at the man; the lines on his face were more pronounced than ever. Both of his parents were far past their youth and James couldn't help but wonder how much longer they had left.

It wasn't a pleasant thought, one he wanted to avoid, but he couldn't. They were his parents and this was the way life worked. People lived and they inevitably died. Merlin knew he had seen enough death to last him a lifetime.

When everyone was seated with their drinks, Hannah curiously asked, "So what brings you two here."

"We just wanted to visit," James began casually before taking a sip of his drink. "And we also have some news."

James didn't even have to say it. Almost as soon as the words left his mouth, his mother shrieked and brought a hand to her mouth. Her eyes darted excitedly from her son to her daughter-in-law. They had already been married, what other news could they have? "You're having a baby?"

Mothers must have had sensors for these kinds of things, James was sure of it. How else would his mother know that was what they were going to tell them? Lily hadn't been pregnant long enough to begin showing signs.

Hannah had only to look at the look on her son's face before she choked back a cry of joy and flung her arms around both James's and Lily's necks. "A grandchild! Oh, Charles, we're going to be grandparents!" She sat back and her eyes leapt from Lily to James and back to Lily. "How far along are you?"

"Only about a month, according to the Healers."

"There's so much planning you're going to have to do. There's buying clothes, putting together a nursery for the baby, picking a name…"

James glanced nervously at his father as his mother rattled off the numerous things they were going to have to do before the baby came. James was certain his mother was failing to notice the fact that they still had quite some time before that actually happened. Merlin, he didn't want to admit it out loud, but he was rather terrified. He was only nineteen; he was barely going to be twenty by the time the baby was born. He barely knew how to take care of himself and now he was going to be responsible for another life entirely? Being married was one thing, being a father was another completely.

He was thrilled beyond belief that he was going to be a father, but it didn't mean he wasn't scared.

Charles apparently saw this, as he gestured for his son to follow him into the next room. Charles sat down at the table and nodded for James to do the same. "You're looking a little green, James. Is everything okay?"

"Of course everything's okay. I'm going to be a dad," James said, trying to insert some confidence into his voice. Unfortunately he failed.

"There's nothing wrong with being nervous," Charles told him seriously. "Do you think I wasn't scared when I found out your mother was expecting you?"

"Yeah, but Dad, you were so much older than me. You would've known what to do by then."

Charles shook his head. "It doesn't matter how old you are, James. An expectant father is never going to know what he's supposed to do until he actually has to do it. At nineteen, you're no more lost than I was, take comfort in that. You know your mother and I are going to help you as much as we can. Your friends will be there."

James nodded. He knew his mum and dad would help them in any way they could. His friends would as well. What was even better was that Alice Longbottom was expecting as well, that meant Frank was in his position right now. They could commiserate together when their wives were driving them up several walls at once. And, of course, Lily and Alice would be able to help each other.

"You're going to make a wonderful father," Charles assured him. His son cared about people he wasn't even related to. He had no doubt in his mind James would do anything for his son or daughter.

"Thanks, Dad." The reassurance of his father was enough for him right now. Then, with a sheepish grin, he asked, "Is it true Lily is going to blame me for everything when she actually _has_ the baby?"

* * *

It was hard to believe it was Christmastime again. It was even harder to believe that so many of the people the boys and Lily had spent Christmas with the previous year were no longer around – Marlene, Dorcas, Benjy, and Caradoc. It was enough to remind them of what they were fighting for, so more people didn't have to miss spending Christmas with their families. But even with the horrible things that had happened, there were still many wonderful things – James and Lily getting married and finding out they were going to have a baby. Still, it would be a truly brilliant thing if the future Potter was able to celebrate a Christmas without a war raging in the background.

It had been decided to make this a tradition. Every year, a week before Christmas, James, Lily and Peter would go to Sirius's and Remus's flat and help them decorate it for the holiday. Fortunately Sirius finally learned what the appropriate amount of lights was and no one had to take them away from him in fear that he would burn down the flat. They didn't even truly care what the tree and flat looked like when they were finished. They were trying to take advantage of every spare moment they could spend together.

Sirius was preoccupied with his Auror training, which took up a considerable amount of his time. James was constantly busy at the hospital or with Lily. Peter and Remus were working more hours than ever due to the holidays and Lily was busy at the _Prophet_ and with taking care of herself and the baby within her. There had been a time in their lives when they could spend every moment together. There was also a time in their lives when they acknowledged that this wouldn't always be so.

They just never imagined it would arrive so early.

Christmas morning was quiet in the Black and Lupin flat. On the outside, however, there was whistling wind and snow falling in great quantities, coating everything it could reach. Sirius and Remus weren't sure whether or not they would be able to push their front door open if they wanted to go out. Their fireplace wasn't hooked up to the Floo Network, as they couldn't risk Mrs. Sherman coming into the place and seeing someone appearing through the grate. There was always Apparating, but Merlin knew it was impolite to Apparate right into someone's house, especially on a holiday.

Sirius and Remus sat in their living room, Sirius seated in front of the tree, observing an ornament through narrowed eyes. Remus sat on the couch, his feet pulled underneath him and he watched his roommate, trying to figure out what on Earth he was attempting to do. "Are you trying to see if it cracks because your reflection upsets it?"

Sirius laughed lamely. "You're funny, Moony. No, I was thinking of turning it in your direction so your ugly mug can crack it open." Poking the shiny ball hanging from the branch, Sirius sighed and rested his chin in his hands. "I'm bored."

"Oh no," Remus muttered to himself. That was never a good thing.

"Christmas is no fun if it's just us."

"Wasn't that Christmas in our second year?"

"Yeah, but your mum and dad and grandparents were there! We need people!"

"Because we're slugs."

Sirius threw a wayward clump of silver garland at his roommate, who caught in before it made its way to is face. "What I mean is that we need our friends."

"And if they're doing anything for the holidays?" Remus was fairly sure Lily and James would like to spend their first Christmas together alone. He knew he could probably count on his own parents to come, but how they were going to contact them was beyond him. Peter… Remus had no idea what to expect of the fourth member of their group. Peter hadn't exactly been approachable lately and Remus had no idea why. He assumed the war was getting to him, but it was getting to everyone.

Sirius frowned. "Yeah, I guess Prongs and Lily would want to be alone." So what were _they_ going to do then? They were two people – two smart people at that. They could think of something entertaining to do, especially since walking out of the house was not an option. Neither of them fancied becoming human ice blocks. And he was hungry. They had nothing good to eat, no sweets anyway. They couldn't afford to splurge on unnecessary good items. Unfortunately biscuits had to go.

_Wait a moment…_

"Gingerbread men!"

Remus, who had been perusing a book he'd found on the coffee table, glanced up with a raised eyebrow. "Pardon?"

"Let's make gingerbread men!"

Remus was silent for a moment before saying, "You know, that's not a bad idea." He set the book down beside him. "But do we have all the ingredients?"

"We have to have some of it. Didn't your mum stock our cabinets the last time she was here?"

"I believe her exact words were 'I am not allowing my son and the boy who could pose as my son to live in a house where they do not have proper baking ingredients.' I don't know why she thought we needed to bake, but she's proved herself right."

"And if we don't have enough, I'm sure we can ask Mrs. Sherman for some."

So that was what their Christmas consisted of - several attempts at making gingerbread men. The actual mixing of the ingredients wasn't difficult at all. They simply took it as a Potions class that produced results they could digest. It was when they tried to get them to look like people that they had difficulty. Mrs. Sherman had lost most of her cookie cutters and so they tried at first to cut them by hand. This was something that was much better in thought than in actual execution. It was only when Remus found a spell that they had any success.

"Sirius, did you honestly have to make the Lily biscuit look so big?" Sirius had made a biscuit to represent Lily. She had red hair and green eyes, but her middle was too big to be appropriate.

Sirius laughed cheekily and looked fondly at his creation. "She's having a baby, isn't she?"

"She's not that big _yet_. She's going to murder you when she sees that."

Well, there was nothing he could do about that now. Instead, he picked up the biscuit that would be him and got to work. He went to painstaking efforts to make that one the most handsome of all the gingerbread men and women. "Head's not exploded yet?" Remus asked casually as he drew glasses on the biscuit representing James.

"No, still intact."

It was then that they heard a muffled voice coming from inside one of the drawers. Remus and Sirius looked at each other, wondering what that could be. It took a moment for Sirius to remember that was where he had put his two-way mirror. James must have been trying to contact him. Hurrying to the drawer, he pulled the mirror out and, indeed, his friend was staring at him through the glass. "Padfoot, let us in!"

Sirius gaped at the mirror. Did he want to die of hypothermia? "You're outside?" But there was all that snow piled up in front of the door… "Give us five minutes."

Within those five minutes, Remus and Sirius had removed the snow and James and Lily were able to make their way safely into the flat. "What are you two doing here?" Remus asked as he took James and Lily's cloaks and hung them on the rack just inside the living room. He had thought they'd want to spend the holiday alone. The day wasn't over yet.

"And we did," Lily told them with a smile. "Then we went to see James's parents. Now we want to be with our friends."

"We tried getting in touch with Peter, but he's not home. Do you know where he went?"

"Maybe to his mum's," Sirius suggested with a shrug of the shoulders.

The four moved into the kitchen where Lily instantly suggested mixing up some hot cocoa for them all, even when James volunteered to do it himself. One withering stare from his wife was enough to make him back off. "Is that supposed to be me?" Lily asked as she spotted the biscuits lying on the kitchen table, just the faintest hint of outrage in her voice. "I am not that big yet!"

"I told you she was going to kill you."

"Stuff it, Moony."

Lily set four mugs steaming with hot chocolate down on the table. She took the gingerbread woman made in her likeness and took a bite. "I do make a good biscuit."

James picked up his own mug and looked at the others. In the craziness of a war, worrying about becoming a father, it was good to know that he still had his friends with him. "So, Happy Christmas."

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Eighty Four: Be At Peace**_

"As well as can be expected," Charles replied, his voice oddly calm. James didn't think he could be that way if he had been in that position. He would have wanted to jump out of his skin. He would have wanted someone to do something – anything - that would reverse what was happening. "It's not as bad as you imagine it is, James."

James brought his gaze to his father. "I… I guess I'll have to believe you."

A small smiled crossed Charles's face. "Yes, you will. I wish your mother was awake."

"No… no, i-it's good that she's sleeping." Or was she sleeping? _No_, James firmly told himself. He was not going to start thinking like that. His mother was sleeping, that was all there was to it. "Dad, I-"


	84. Be at Peace

Chapter Eighty Four  
Be At Peace

It wasn't long until Lily did begin resembling the gingerbread biscuit Sirius had made on Christmas. By the end of January, Lily was looking for new clothes to wear that would accommodate the bulge on her stomach. She was just grateful she Alice to help her shop, as the woman was going through the same predicament. She could find clothes, but all seemed so dreadfully hideous. James did whatever he could to help his wife, but the mood swings the woman was having were catching him off guard every time. Lily could be sweet and entirely happy one moment and the next nothing he did would be enough and her short fuse would burn out far too quickly. If he was lucky, he would manage to get a head start running before the mood swung completely. Then there were the cravings. The cravings were the worst.

He had once ended up at his parents' house at one in the morning, desperately pleading with them to part with their finest cut of mutton – something he despised and thought Lily did as well. Unfortunately he was wrong. The pregnant Lily loved mutton and wanted it at ridiculous hours of the night. His parents had been too sleepy and confused to argue that it was destined to be their dinner. Another frustration was that Lily felt useless when it came to the Order. She was a fighter. She wasn't content to sit around while others went out and risked their lives. James was trying to back out of as many missions as he could so she didn't have to worry about him and he didn't have to worry about not coming back from the fight, but he didn't want to drop out completely.

He was a fighter as well and he wasn't about to let his friends go out there and not be with them.

The fact that the Order's numbers were quickly dwindling wasn't helping matters. It was in the middle of January when Edgar Bones was asleep with his wife, his ten year old daughter in the next room over. Edgar was always careful about his security, continuously updating his wards. Yet the Death Eaters proved to be more powerful and they shattered the wards without a problem. Edgar and his family didn't stand a chance. The funeral was two days later. The Death Eaters continued to gain power and the Order was scrambling to protect themselves and those they fought for.

Many times they asked themselves how much longer they could continue to go on like this.

"What's the matter, James?" Lily was sitting in the living room, knitting a pair of blue baby booties. She and James wanted to be surprised when the baby was born, so they refused to learn the sex of the baby. Yet blue was a neutral colour and could be given to a boy or a girl. When James stumbled through the front door, her first instinct was that there was something wrong with the Order or Sirius, Remus or Peter. When had the full moon been? No, she was getting ahead of herself. The full moon had been days ago and Remus was fine. But what about Sirius and Peter?

"My dad wasn't at work today," James told her, his voice sounding funny. "When I took off for my lunch break, I went to see if he was home. He and my mum… they're… they're not doing well, Lily." His voice broke as he spoke the last part of the sentence.

"Oh… James, what's happening?" Hannah and Charles were old, she knew this. They wouldn't live forever. She knew that James was well aware of this, but he would never be prepared for their passing.

"They're old." James eased himself down into the armchair. He was looking Lily's direction, but he obviously wasn't seeing her. "I mean, I know this is happening. I've known it for years. They were so old when they had me. But I can't think of it, Lily. I don't want it to happen." He couldn't bring himself to admit they were dying. He supposed he should have appreciated they were dying together, that was the way they would have wanted it. He just didn't want to lose them both at once.

Lily carefully knelt beside James, placed her hands on his arm comfortingly. "I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything, please just don't." James knew Lily was sorry. He knew she loved his parents and didn't want them to pass on. He just wanted her to stay there with him. His parents were still alive, but it wasn't going to be long now. He could see it by the looks in their eyes. They knew the end was near. He glanced at Lily, at the bulge in her belly that held their child. His mother had so wanted to meet her grandchild. If she made it to August, when the baby was due to be born, it would be a miracle.

Unfortunately James had a strong feeling that miracle wasn't going to happen.

* * *

"How are my parents, Willie?"

"They is not well, Master James."

James gritted his teeth. The House Elf sounded so sad. She spoke barely above a whisper and the usual chipper tone in her voice had long ago disappeared. Her wide eyes were filled with sadness and her ears drooped. James had never seen her like this, but he couldn't blame her in the slightest. Willie had been with his parents since before he was born, well over twenty years now. Of course she would be terribly sad right now.

James had waited until Lily left to go to work before he set out for his parents. He knew he should have waited, but she could come later and he had to be on his own right now. He had a feeling he wouldn't be able to hold himself together.

As silly as it was, he didn't want her to see him like this.

James took a shuddering breath as he excused himself from Willie, who silently made her way into the kitchen. His parents were in their bedroom and had told Willie that they'd love to see their son. James would love to see them as well. He would love to see them healthy and young. Not old and frail. He had always seen both of his parents as people who were full of life. It was so strange to see their old age finally catch up with them and hit them the hardest it could manage.

When James entered his parents' bedroom, he was struck by how little time he had spent in this room when he was growing up. This room had always seemed to be off-limits, no matter how much his parents protested that it wasn't. They always said he was welcome to come in and talk if he wanted to, James just never took them up on it. When he was younger, he was so preoccupied with making friends his age. Growing up with older parents and no siblings would do that to a child. Now he had those friends and he sorely wished he had taken his parents' up on their offer from childhood. He wouldn't feel like such a stranger in this room.

His mother and father were both lying down in their bed, his mother's eyes were closed and his father was looking at the ceiling as if it held something extremely interesting on it. James felt something clench painfully deep in his stomach. His father looked so… so _lost_. Charles Potter wasn't that kind of man and it killed James to see him that way. And his mother… she had been so thrilled when he and Lily came to announce Lily was pregnant. She wasn't going to get to see her grandchild.

James swallowed the lump in his throat. "Hi, Dad." His voice came out as a weak croak, but it was loud enough for Charles to hear.

Charles's eyes swiveled from the ceiling to the doorway. He sat up slightly, but James crossed the room in two steps, gently easing his father back down. There was no need for him to strain himself. "James," Charles managed.

There was another clench in his stomach. James couldn't say anything for a few minutes. He had noticed when he and Lily had once come that his parents looked older. On Christmas, he had seen it even more, and now… Now it was glaring James in the face, practically laughing at him. They couldn't go. James needed them. He was about to be a father and he needed his parents. They couldn't go, not now. "H-how are you?" It was such a lame, trite question, yet it was the only one James could think of.

"As well as can be expected," Charles replied, his voice oddly calm. James didn't think he could be that way if he had been in that position, the one confined to his bed to wait for the end to come. He would have wanted to jump out of his skin. He would have wanted someone to do something – anything - that would reverse what was happening. Charles clearly saw what was going through his son's mind. "It's not as bad as you imagine it is, James."

James brought his gaze to his father. "I… I guess I'll have to believe you."

A small smiled crossed Charles's face. "Yes, you will. I wish your mother was awake."

"No… no, it-it's good that she's sleeping." Or was she sleeping? _No_, James firmly told himself. He was not going to start thinking like that. His mother was sleeping, that was all there was to it. "Dad, I-"

Charles abruptly cut him off. "I know what you're going to say. It's going to be okay. Your mother and I are both prepared for this; we've been expecting it. Life has been so good to us. For a long time we believed there would be things we would never have, a child was one of them. Then, when Hannah found out she was expecting and when you were born… we got the one thing we wanted. You've made us so proud. You made us laugh; you were always true to who you are. You've been a wonderful son."

James could feel the corners of his eyes prickling. He hastily sniffed and glanced down into his hands for a moment, collecting himself, before bringing his gaze back to his father. "Thanks, Dad."

"You're going to be a wonderful father. That child will never know anymore love than the kind you and Lily will give to him… or her. I only wish that we-"

Now it was James's turn to cut him off. "No, please, Dad. I know. Just… just don't say it." He knew what his father wanted to say, that was enough. "You… you look tired, maybe you should rest." He didn't want to tire his father out more than he already had. "Go… go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

There was the ghost of a smile on his father's face. "I'll do that, James." It took no more than a second for Charles's eyes to close and for him to drop off to sleep.

James ran a hand under his nose as he looked down at his father. "I love you, Dad…"

* * *

There was absolute silence in the Potter household. There were five people sitting in the room, but there was not a sound to be heard from any of them. When Lily sent an urgent message to Remus, Sirius and Peter to hurry over, they hadn't wasted any time. Now that they were there… none of them knew what to say. Lily sat on the couch, her arm around James, who could barely move on his own right now. She ran her hand comfortingly up and down his arm. She wished she could do more, but she knew James wouldn't ask any more than this. Sirius and Peter were seated in the two armchairs. Sirius's face was pale and wet around his eyes. Peter simply looked lost. Remus stood by the window, staring at his shoes and occasionally glancing at James and Lily. His jaw was set, his face sad.

Charles and Hannah Potter had passed away at noon on February the seventeenth.

It was Remus who broke the silence. "I'll… I'll go make some tea." He didn't know what to do in situations like this, but his mother had always told him: When in doubt, make tea. It gave someone something to do, something to hold. Now the only sounds to be heard were Remus filling the kettle with water.

Sirius took a deep breath and ran his hands over his face. He had never seen James like this before. James could barely keep himself steady. Of course, Sirius wouldn't have expected anything else. James loved his parents more than anyone. The only person who could rival that love was Lily and, even then, it was a different kind. His parents had brought him into the world, raised him, help shape him into the person he became. Now they were gone. Sirius couldn't believe it. Mr. and Mrs. Potter had practically been his own parents. They took him in when his own didn't give a damn about him.

They were two good people. They had lived long, brilliant lives. They deserved the peaceful end they had received. Though that didn't mean they weren't devastated by it.

"James?" Sirius said carefully, studying his friend through concerned eyes. "If you need anything… just let me know."

James pulled his face out of Lily's shoulder and wiped his sleeve across it. He shook his head. He couldn't even think of anything he might need right now. He knew there were going to be the funeral arrangements to take care of and their wills, but he couldn't bring himself to even _think_ about that right now. "Not right now, but thanks, Sirius."

Remus returned with two cups of steaming tea in hand. He set those down on the table in front of Lily and James, knowing that if they wanted them they would take them. Then he disappeared again to retrieve the ones for Peter, Sirius and himself. Remus resumed his place at the window, looking into the contents of his tea. "For what it's worth, at least it was peaceful." He knew it was a small comfort, but it was better than James's parents having been in pain when they died. That had been the way Remus's grandparents had died and he was glad his friend didn't have to see his parents suffer.

James's voice was barely above a whisper, his voice hoarse. "Yeah… I suppose you're right." He wanted to be relieved that they hadn't been in pain, but the hollow feeling in his chest wouldn't let him. He brought his hand to his forehead and leaned back into Lily. "My dad was happy. When I talked to him… he was quiet and tired, but he was happy. That should be enough, shouldn't it?"

"You don't have to be ashamed of feeling upset," Lily told him quietly. Her parents had been killed in a car crash; she knew there was no shame in grief, especially when it involved one's parents. Grief was only natural. "James, you're not alone in this, you know."

He wasn't alone. Everyone in that room had lost someone they loved. Lily had lost her both of her parents; Peter had lost his dad, Remus his grandparents and Sirius his brother. They all knew what he was going through; they would all help him get through it. There was no way they were letting James think there wasn't anyone there who didn't know how he felt. He knew this. He knew they all knew exactly what he was going through.

James knew he should be grateful that his parents had died of natural causes. They hadn't been killed in a car crash, murdered by Death Eaters, ravaged by disease or mysteriously vanished. No, he was lucky that his parents got live their lives happily. He was lucky he got to see them one last time, talk to them one last time before they died. Merlin, what his dad had told him before he died. James's breath caught in his throat as he remembered his father's words. They were proud of him.

"Yeah… yeah, I know I'm not." James ran his hands over his face and shakily stood up. He was aware that four pairs of eyes were on him and he needed something to distract himself from that. There was the cup of tea on the table and he hastily bent down to pick it up. The cup rattled noisily in the saucer, but he managed to steady his hand long enough to take a sip of the scalding liquid. "Merlin, there's a lot of stuff I need to do." Along with sorting out his parents' wills, he had to arrange their burial. Then there was Willie; where was she going to go? The House Elf had been in his family for years and he certainly couldn't just free her! She wouldn't know what to do.

"James, we'll help you with whatever you need," Sirius repeated firmly. There was no way James had to burden himself with everything. If he needed help, Sirius was sure they would all be glad to give it to him.

James was about to say they didn't need to do anything - that they had done enough by just being there - but he really did need the help. "Willie," he said. "I don't know what to do with her. Lily and I don't really need a House Elf, do we?"

Lily shook her head. As much as she loved the elf, they didn't really have a need for her in their tiny flat. The two of them were able to keep the place tidied up and running. They just didn't have the room for her, either. "Where can she go?"

"How about Hogwarts?" Peter suggested.

"That's a good idea," Lily said. "Dumbledore will take good care of her and she'll be with the other House Elves in the kitchens."

They all instinctively looked at James. This was his decision, after all. The House Elf had been with him since he was a baby. He was the one who knew what was best for her, not them. "Yeah… that's a good idea, Wormtail. I'll talk to Dumbledore about it." Merlin, he felt tired. He hadn't felt it until now. Now that he did, he just wanted to be alone.

Remus apparently saw this as he turned to Sirius and said, "I think we promised to help Mrs. Sherman fix her window, didn't we?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow at his roommate, confused for a moment before he realised what Remus was trying to do. "Right, yeah we did. Want to help, Peter?" Sirius asked this pointedly and in such a way that Peter couldn't say no.

"Yeah, sure," Peter agreed, thinking it was a pretty weak excuse. Why would it take three people to fix a window? He didn't question it, though. He was smart enough to realise that James needed to be alone right now, that Lily was the only one who should be there with him. It was best for him, Sirius and Remus to just disappear for now.

When the three were gone, James turned to Lily. It broke Lily's heart to see how lost he looked. For the first eleven years of his life, his parents had been everything to him. He didn't have any neighbors; all of his cousins were years older than him. He had no one to make friends with. It had been his parents that he could talk to and now they were gone. "Do you want me to talk to Dumbledore?" Lily asked quietly. "About letting Willie work at the school?"

James nodded. He knew he should have done it, but he couldn't. That House Elf was really the only thing he had left from his life with his parents. He also knew that Lily just wanted to help; she just wanted to make him feel better. If he had fewer things to worry about, that may help a bit. James sank back onto the couch and set his tea back on the table. Placing his face in his hands for a moment, he took a shaky breath before turning to face his wife. "I just… I just can't believe they're gone."

Lily didn't quite know what to say. In a way, it wasn't so shocking. They both knew his parents were old. In another way, no one was ever prepared for this. She knew she hadn't been, but her parents had died in a freak accident. No one could see it coming. James had known it was. Still, it didn't make the situation any easier.

Luckily she didn't have to say anything. "I mean, I know it was coming. It doesn't mean I have to like it. They were my parents… I can't think of them not being around. How did you do it?" His look was pleading and Lily felt her heart break again.

"I… I had my friends." It was the truth. She did have her friends. She had Alice to talk to; Alice knew exactly what she was going through at the time. Remus had been a good friend to her then. James had been as well, even if they hadn't been friends at the time. He had sent that letter to her. "You do too. Remus, Sirius and Peter, they'll do anything you need. And I'm here. You don't have to be brave for me." She knew James would try to be, that he wouldn't want to show that he was upset in front of her. Maybe it was because she would be an emotional wreck soon enough, but he didn't have to do that.

James's voice cracked. "I know I don't." And that was when James finally broke.

* * *

It was a dreary day, appropriately so. There was a small raised platform on which the bodies of Charles and Hannah Potter rest, dressed in their very best robes. They looked peaceful, that was all anyone could ask for in the end. Their faces were clean and calm; it looked as if they were simply sleeping. In the midst of this war, their fate could have been a lot worse, especially considering Charles's past involvement with fighting Death Eaters. As it was, they had both died of natural causes. They had died together. While it would hit James the hardest to lose both of his parents at the same time, he knew that they would have wanted to go together. They had taken the same vows he and Lily had, after all.

Until death do them part, they would always be together.

"Thank you, Professor," Lily grateful told Professor Dumbledore when she was finished speaking with him.

"I am glad to help. When Willie is ready, she will have her place at Hogwarts." Dumbledore knew that a House Elf who had been with a family for as long as Willie had been with the Potters would have a difficult time if she was simply freed. The idea of letting her come to work with the House Elves at Hogwarts was a good one.

Lily thanked Dumbledore again before looking around for James. It wasn't hard to spot him. She saw the mass of untidy black hair standing beside the platform where his parents were. It wouldn't be long before the burial process was finally complete. James must have wanted to get his last goodbyes in while he could. "James?" she said quietly when she reached him. "How are you?" She knew it was possibly the worst question to ask, but it was all she could think of. She was worried about him.

"I'm okay," he said, glancing around to look at her. Lily may not have believed him, but she saw the certainty behind the sadness in his eyes. James wouldn't lie about his well-being to her. She knew he wouldn't.

"Are you sure?" Even if he seemed certain, she just had to make sure he was.

James nodded. He stared at his parents for a long moment before facing his wife. "They lived a good life. They died in their sleep, that's all I could ask for. There's a war going on, Lily. They could have died a lot worse. They could have been killed like Mr. Pettigrew, but they weren't. They got to die peacefully in their own house, on their own terms. My dad told me they were ready for it. They weren't caught off guard and they wanted to make sure I wasn't either. I'm sad about it, but I'll be okay soon."

James was right, Lily knew it. In a world that was filled with war, his parents could have met a worse end than they had. What mattered was that they were happy at the end. They had died in their home, having gotten to see their son, the person they loved above all else, and they had been ready for it. They had been in charge of their fates.

That was all they could ask for.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Eighty Five: Sealing their Fate**_

"Ah, yes, well we all have at one point or another," the man agreed, nodding his head from side to side. "What's so bad about it? It usually blows over."

What was so bad about it? He was risking his bloody neck for people who probably didn't give a damn that he was. "When it involves fighting all the time, it starts to get a _bit_ irritating."

Peter could see a glint in the man's eyes, but he ignored it.

"Ah, well, that would get upsetting, I imagine." The man nudged the glass of Firewhiskey closer to Peter, encouraging him to drink it. "Do something about it then?"

"Like what?" Peter had nearly drained his second glass of the alcoholic beverage and he was feeling slightly fuzzy headed, but he liked the feeling. He wanted to hear what this stranger had to say.


	85. Sealing Their Fate

Chapter Eighty Five  
Sealing Their Fate

Peter had no idea why he was doing this. He could have refused. He didn't get that much flack for avoiding the fight when Dorcas had died. Well, Moody and his friends hadn't exactly been pleased with him, but what did that matter? He knew what was important to him and that was his life. He had seen the destruction, seen the injuries the Order and the bystanders had sustained, particularly the injuries James had sustained. He didn't want that for himself. He knew that much – he did not want to constantly be recovering from some horrific injury. He didn't want to die in the line of a battle he didn't want to fight.

If he knew that, then why was he patrolling Knockturn Alley, at night, for the Order of the Phoenix?

Because he was weak and foolish, that was why. He wasn't stupid; he knew that he didn't have the guts to admit he wanted out. He didn't have the guts to go to Moody and Dumbledore and tell them that he had had enough. He didn't have the guts to show his friends he didn't believe what they did. He would have to find those guts soon. He was already in way over his head and if he didn't stop it soon, he would be dead before he reached age twenty. That wasn't something he was bargaining on. He knew it was something his mother wasn't planning on either. He hated to think of what this was doing to her. Ever since his father had died, his mother had been terrified of something happening to Peter as well.

He was doing nothing except increasing her worry.

Peter tightened his grip on his wand as three particularly shady looking men made their way past him, shooting him hard looks. When they were out of earshot, he had to laugh at himself. _Particularly_ shady looking people? Knockturn Alley only contained shady people. How was he supposed to know if any of them were Death Eaters? They would know he was part of the Order, though. They had the advantage. If they caught him off guard, he was as good as dead. Merlin, he needed a drink.

Unfortunately Peter wasn't close to the entrance to Diagon Alley at all. He would have to settle for getting something here. With his luck, it would be poisoned. He'd be writhing on the ground before he knew it.

He turned into a dank pub labeled the Dueling Dragon. The place wasn't crowded at all. There were only two cloaked figures sitting in the farthest corner of the pub and the barkeeper, who was running a rag across the bar. The man looked up with disinterested eyes when Peter entered and grunted in acknowledgement when he sat on one of the stools. Peter took that as the cue to state his order. "Firewhiskey," he said, keeping his voice free of any disgust he felt. Funny, Firewhiskey was always Sirius's drink of choice. Peter had a feeling ordering a butterbeer in a place like this would get him hexed or give him very bad indigestion.

Peter accepted the glass with a grunt of thanks, passing the gold across the counter. The barkeeper greedily scooped it up and stuffed it away. Peter took a sip, hiding his wince at the fiery taste it left in his throat. That would explain the name. It wasn't long before one of the cloaked figures in the corner migrated to the bar, sitting down on the stool directly beside Peter. "Don't look too happy, do you?" the man asked, his voice a sort of hiss, yet it strangely didn't bother Peter.

"No, not really," Peter replied shortly, taking another gulp of his drink and again, hiding his wince.

"Oh, it can't be too bad," the man went on, his voice oddly cheerful now, as if he had just learned something very helpful. Peter wasn't very troubled to find out what it was. This man didn't concern him at all. The man nudged him in the shoulder, as if urging him to go on. "Come on, mate, tell me what your troubles are."

Peter shot the man a glare. "I'm supposed to tell someone I don't know what my problems are?"

The man, however, appeared unabashed by Peter's abruptness. "Who better? An unbiased ear, some might say. I don't know you, the people you consort with, I can't possibly influence anything you say."

Peter mulled this over. The man was right. Peter could vent all he wanted and this man wouldn't be biased towards anything because Peter didn't know him. "Ever feel underappreciated?" he asked the man before taking another swig of his drink. The glass was nearly drained and the man hailed the barkeep, ordering two more and paying for both.

"Ah, yes, well we all have at one point or another," the man agreed, nodding his head from side to side. "What's so bad about it? It usually blows over."

What was so bad about it? He was risking his bloody neck for people who probably didn't give a damn that he was. "When it involves fighting all the time and not being appreciated for it, it starts to get a _bit_ irritating."

Peter could see a strange glint in the man's eyes, but he ignored it.

"Ah, well, that would get upsetting, I imagine." The man nudged the glass of Firewhiskey closer to Peter, encouraging him to drink it. He grinned when Peter accepted it, nearly downing the liquid. "Do something about it then!"

"Like what?" Peter had nearly drained his second glass of the alcoholic beverage and he was feeling slightly fuzzy headed, but he liked the feeling. He wanted to hear what this stranger had to say.

"Something drastic, something no one would be expecting. Whatever those ungrateful people wanted you to do, do the opposite. You should do something that'll make them realise they were bloody fools for not appreciating you enough when you were on their side. What's the use of being a part of something if no one cares about what you do, right?"

Peter drained the last of his drink and almost ordered a third before deciding he may as well get home. His shift was just about over. It was time to turn the patrol over to Remus, if the bloke was up to it. Merlin knew his friend was probably feeling too _ill_ to do anything. Peter didn't care though. He was done with his shift; it was time for Remus to do his. "Good to meet you," he said to the man. "Thanks for the drink, and the advice."

The man nodded. "No problem, mate. Maybe I'll see you around here again." The man leaned forward on the bar and waited for Peter to disappear completely through the door. Once he was gone, the man got up and returned to his companion at the back of the bar.

"Was that one of them, Dolohov?" the second man asked. His voice was icy and very reminiscent of Lucius Malfoy.

"You've seen him before, haven't you? Shouldn't you _know_ if it was him?" Dolohov spat at Malfoy.

"I haven't seen the kid since he was a chubby eleven year old boy. Besides, he may recognise my voice; why else would I send you up to talk to him?"

"No one _sends_ me to do anything. Especially you, Lucius. I spoke to the vermin because the Dark Lord requested it. He wants one of them. It's best to go after the weakest."

"Out of all the resistance, he's the most spineless," Lucius agreed. "Snape always said he was powerless in school. I can't imagine how he managed to survive this long fighting with the resistance."

"Merlin knows. The point is that we've found one of the resistance; one who isn't happy. That can only benefit the Dark Lord."

* * *

"Come on, Moony, wake up."

Sirius sat on the cold, dirty ground in the forest he took Remus to when the full moon fell. Sirius had wanted to say with him for the night, had nearly begged Mad Eye to reprieve him from his Order duties that night, but he couldn't. He didn't have an excuse, not one he could divulge, anyway. He couldn't exactly tell Moody that he wanted to stay home because he was really an Animagus and could help control his friend during his transformations. So Remus was left to fend for himself. James had originally planned on going, but Lily was having one of her cravings and he was scrambling to find the right kind of cheese. Peter couldn't go by himself as what chance did a rat have against a werewolf?

Sirius lightly tapped his friend's bloody cheek. "Moony!" He said it louder this time, hoping that would do something to wake him. He had some success. Remus mumbled a jumble of incoherent nonsense, though he did not open his eyes. Sirius smirked to himself; at least his friend was in the realm of the conscious now. "Oi, make some sense will you!"

"Shut up, Padfoot," Remus said, attempting to sound angry, but he just succeeded in sounding tired.

"Success." If Remus was well enough to attempt to snap at him, that could only be a good thing. "Let's get home, alright?"

Remus nodded slowly. He could only thank Merlin that there was such a thing as Apparition. Sirius carefully gripped Remus's forearm and it wasn't long before they were in the living room of their flat. Sirius wasted no time in retrieving his two-way mirror from the kitchen. James wasn't due at the hospital for another two hours; he had time to stop by and see what he could do.

When James knocked on the front door, with a considerably larger Lily in tow, Remus was resting on the couch, his eyes shut as he tried to block out the awful pain he was experiencing. Lily's continuously growing motherly instincts overtook and she hurried over as fast as she could, asking if there was anything she could do. "No thanks, Lily," Remus said, his eyes fluttering open and darting to the woman. She needed to worry about herself, not him.

"I just came to see how you were feeling," she said, offering him a warm smile. "I've got work soon." She gently squeezed Remus's hand before bidding the men farewell as she left for the _Daily Prophet_ office.

"Okay, Moony, let's see the damage this time." James grinned playfully as Remus shot him a glare. James looked at him thoughtfully. "You know, at this rate you'll be lucky to see twenty."

"Are you anticipating me dying in eight days?"

"Well, I hope you'll at least live until _my_ birthday. I expect a present." James flashed another cheeky grin towards the man as he pressed his wand against a gash on Remus's left forearm. The skin soon began to mend itself, leaving just the stains of blood as reminders of what had been there. James lightly pressed his fingers on Remus's ribcage to inspect the damage there. Upon seeing his friend wince badly, he knew he had some work for him there. "Does your furry little problem enjoy doing a number on you month after month?"

"Of course, I just sit here and wonder how to mutilate myself, don't I, Padfoot?"

"I have to tell him to stop it," Sirius laughed, playing along. This was James's method to keep Remus's mind off the pain – get him to joke around. "Sorry I couldn't be there."

"Don't worry about it," Remus said dismissively. "We all know Moody would've had your arse if you weren't."

James laughed. "I can see it now – Moody has it mounted about his fireplace and he calmly sips tea, sitting below it."

Both Remus and Sirius sent James startled looks. "What? I was just kidding…"

James had just finished mending Remus's sprained elbow when there was furious knocking at the front door. Sirius's guard instantly went up as he carefully walked towards the door, sliding his wand out of his pocket. "Who is it?" he barked.

"Gideon!" shouted one voice.

"Fabian!" shouted another. "Is James there?"

James stood up uncertainly upon hearing his name. "What do you want?" he asked loudly.

"Something's happened in Diagon Alley!"

James's blood went cold. Lily was in Diagon Alley. She had left a while ago; she obviously would have been there by now. Oh, Merlin, what had happened? He hoped it wasn't too close to the newspaper, but what else could be the explanation? It was must have been if Gideon and Fabian were asking for him specifically. "What's happened?"

Sirius pulled back the locks on the door and let the Prewitts in. They were both frantic, their eyes wide, their faces pale beneath their red hair. "What's going on?" James snapped. His wife was in Diagon Alley, his _pregnant_ wife.

The look in Fabian's eyes sent the worst jolt of panic through James. "They're fighting at the _Daily Prophet _office." Fabian, one of the strongest members of the Order, even winced when he saw the expression of horror slide onto James's face. "I'm sorry, James. But we've got to get there now!"

James wasted no time. He had Apparated the moment the words were out of Fabian's mouth. This wasn't happening. Voldemort had it out for him and Lily, and now their child was at risk. Merlin, would this world let him have a shred of happiness to keep? His parents were barely cold in the ground, he wasn't about to lose his wife and child so closely after. Gideon and Fabian disappeared seconds later.

Only Sirius and Remus remained. It was obvious that Remus wasn't going to be able to fight, not so shortly after a full moon with more than half his injuries still intact. Sirius, on the other hand, had his best friend's wife and his godchild to fight for. "You'll be alright?" he asked his friend.

Remus said nothing except, "Go."

Sirius didn't hesitate to turn on the spot and disappear with a violent _crack! _Why was it always Diagon Alley? Why did Voldemort want Lily and James so badly? They were everything he despised. Lily was a Muggle-born – a _Mudblood_ to Voldemort. James was a blood traitor! What was it about them that interested Voldemort so much? Whatever the reason, there was no chance in hell that they would ever join such a vile creature. After all the destruction he had caused, after all the lives he had taken away and destroyed, there was no way Lily and James would ever _consider_ joining him.

This was strange…

Diagon Alley was quiet. Much too quiet. It was as if every soul had disappeared in the seconds it had taken him to Apparate. But no, Gideon and Fabian had told them that there were Death Eaters at the _Daily Prophet! _James! James must have already been there. Damn it! Sirius broke into a sprint. He knew where the newspaper's office was, having visited Lily there dozens of times and the occasions when he and Remus would drop in on Remus's father while he was at work.

Oh, Merlin, this wasn't right! The office was functioning so bloody _normally_. It was as if none of the writers were aware of anything wrong. _Was _there anything wrong? James was standing outside of the building, confusion etched onto every inch of his face. "What's going on, Prongs?" Sirius asked quietly as he stepped beside his best friend. "Where are Gideon and Fabian?"

"I don't know. They weren't here when I Apparated." James stepped closer to the building, looking as though he was desperately trying to figure this puzzle out. "Something's not right. The way those two looked at me… you had to believe them, right?"

"But there's nothing wrong here. Look, there's Lily now." Sirius nodded as the redhead came into view. She had her quill in hand and was scribbling something down on a sheath of parchment. The woman glanced up towards the window and smiled as she spotted her husband, though the puzzlement was there. She came out of the building. "James, what are you doing here?"

"Has everything been okay at work?" James asked her at once. He doubted if there was a commotion it would have blown over already, especially with no remnants left behind, but he had to check.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Everything's been fine. James, what's going on?"

"Gideon and Fabian… they came to Sirius's flat. They said there were Death Eaters here at the _Prophet_. But… but they're not here."

"Gideon and Fabian? They wouldn't lie about something like that." Lily's face mirrored the confused ones of her husband's and Sirius's.

"We've been tricked, Prongs." Sirius's voice was grim. That was the only explanation. They had been tricked and something was going to happen if they didn't get out of here. "Let's go. All three of us. Lily, you're done with work for the day."

Lily didn't disagree. If they had been fooled, she was not lingering when the eruption finally happened. Not with a child in her belly.

The only problem was they didn't get that chance to escape. Two cloaked and masked figures had appeared behind James and Lily, snatching them before either one of them could shout for help.

"Prongs!" Sirius shouted. "Lily! No. DAMN IT! No!" Right before his eyes. They had disappeared right before his eyes! No, no, no! He had to get to Dumbledore. He had to alert the Order. They had been tricked and if James and Lily died because of it… Sirius felt the bile rise in his throat. He had to get a message to Dumbledore. His Patronus. Merlin it would be difficult to summon a happy memory when he felt as if the world had just ended before his eyes.

It was a relief when the dog appeared and Sirius was able to relay the message. "James and Lily have been snatched. I don't know where they've been taken. We've all been tricked!"

* * *

James had no idea where he was. It was a dark, windowless room. The room was freezing and held the foreboding sense that this might be the last room he would ever be in. The only consolation was that Lily was beside him. She was still there; they hadn't done anything to her. They hadn't done anything to her _yet_. At the rate this day was going, if they made it through this James would go to every Muggle church he could find and praise the powers at be. He really hoped he would live to do that.

"It is very unfortunate that we keep meeting like this."

No matter how many times he heard it, James would never cease to be terrified when Lord Voldemort spoke. He instinctively tightened his grip on his wand and reached out for Lily. When was this ever going to end?

"You're looking well, Potter. The injuries did not last, I see."

James resisted the urge to spit at the monster. If it hadn't been for him and his Death Eaters, James never would have been so badly injured. If it hadn't been for them, Dorcas Meadows wouldn't have been killed. "How did you find us? What did you do?"

Voldemort laughed cruelly. "The wonders of the Polyjuice Potion. I'm sure your friends will be wondering where Gideon and Fabian Prewitt are."

James heard Lily gasp beside him. If Voldemort's Death Eaters got to them and used a Polyjuice Potion, that could only mean one thing. No… oh, sweet Merlin, _no!_

"I must say, they fought bravely, some might say they died like heroes. It took five of my Death Eaters to finally kill them. They were no match. As your numbers grow smaller, mine grow larger."

James couldn't believe it. Gideon and Fabian were dead. That couldn't be right! They were too strong, too good of fighters to have died. They were some of the best the Order had and they were gone. Voldemort had to be lying. They couldn't be dead. They were so young! They had a sister; they had nephews. James felt his stomach churn painfully as he thought of the Prewitts' family. Oh, he didn't want to be the one who had to tell them they were dead.

"I am not _lying_, Potter," Voldemort hissed. James felt as though someone had slapped him in the face. How had Voldemort known that was what he was thinking? Voldemort seemed to find great pleasure in this and he demonstrated it in his cruel laugh. "I've given you the chance to come to reason twice now. I am not feeling nearly as generous this time and I will not give you an _option_. You have no choice."

No, this wasn't happening. Why didn't Voldemort just give up? Because it wasn't in his nature, that was why. He wouldn't stop until he had gotten what he wanted. That was why the world was falling to pieces; that was why the Order of the Phoenix even existed. It was all because of this monster standing before James and his wife. Wasn't there a shred of mercy in him? Wasn't there a part of him that could see Lily was carrying a baby and would be useless to him? No, there wasn't because Lord Voldemort didn't stop for anyone. He had no interest in anything except his own needs.

Why were they part of that category?

"How surprising," James muttered to himself before hearing Lily groan beside him. His eyes darted nervously to her, thinking she may have been in pain. Then he realised she was probably groaning because of his comment. He had to stop saying them if he wanted them to get out of here alive. He wished he knew where they were; he could have tried to send a message to one of them. But how could that help? He was in a dark room with no windows; he had no way of knowing. Merlin knew there were hundreds of rooms like this.

Who knew if they were even still in England?

How was he going to contact them? He couldn't use a Patronus, it was too obvious. Voldemort would have to be brainless or blind to miss that. What could he possibly use? His mirror! The two-way mirror! Sirius always carried his with him and Sirius had been the last one to see them before they were snatched. Now the only problem was - how was he going to get it out without Voldemort realising what he was doing? Which pocket was it in? The one closest to Lily, but how was he going to tell her to get it out? He gently nudged Lily, getting her attention. It wouldn't look so suspicious to Voldemort if James touched his wife. "Have you ever looked in the _mirror_ lately?" James spat, hoping Lily would pick up on the key word.

"A mirror, Potter?" Voldemort sounded amused.

"Then you could see just what a horrible, wretched thing you are." He was signing his own death warrant, he knew it, but he had to get Lily to take the mirror out. He chanced a sideways glance at Lily and saw she was looking curiously at him. At least she realised he wasn't just trying to egg Voldemort on. She knew he was up to something. James went on. "A mirror would show you all of that, not that you care, I'm sure."

James felt Lily stir beside him; very subtly tap the pocket of his robes that the mirror was resting in. Good, she had figured it out. He shifted where he was standing, concealing any part of Lily that would show what she was doing. To anyone, this would merely look as though he was protecting his wife. He looked around the room; trying to figure out where they were, maybe find a tiny, practically miniscule hint. It wasn't helpful at all. James felt the weight slide out of his pocket.

"How did you find out where they lived?" Lily asked curiously, the rage seething just beneath the surface.

"Who is that?" Merlin, they really _loathed_ the way Voldemort seemed so perfectly content with where he was.

"Remus Lupin and Sirius Black!"

James prayed this plan would work. If it did, Sirius's mirror would activate; he would be able to hear them, but he wouldn't be able to see anything. James was standing in the way of the mirror. He didn't have any other option. Even if he wasn't standing in the way, nothing would help locate them.

"It wasn't difficult. I've had spies watching them for days to find out where they went." Voldemort sounded proud, bloody _proud_. Merlin, they had to warn Remus and Sirius that it was as good a time as any to move out. If Death Eaters knew where they lived, they weren't safe living there anymore.

What were they going to do? They had to let the others know where they were, but how were they going to do that? Maybe if they got Voldemort to reveal some information about where they were. "What is this place?" James snarled, his eyes still darting about the place in hopes of finding something revealing. "Are we even still in England?"

"I had no need to take you out of England; no one will find this place."

So they were still in England, at least they knew something. But _where, _in Merlin's name, were they in England? "So we're in a big, wet, dark room without windows in England?" He just had to describe the place; maybe one of the Order was aware of a place like this? Hopefully Sirius had gone to Dumbledore. Dumbledore seemed to always know things others didn't. "Good job, but just because you have us here doesn't mean we're going to do anything to help you. You think after refusing you twice already we'll change our minds?"

"That is where you're wrong, Potter." The amusement had left Voldemort's voice. Now he was a cold and cruel as ever. He was on his last nerve. They had gotten away from him twice already, he wasn't going to allow a third. "You will. Your talents can only benefit me and are being wasted with your miscreant resistance fighters. If you do not do as I say, I can think of ways to change your mind."

Voldemort's eyes drifted towards the visible bulge on Lily's and James's stomach practically dropped out of his body. No, not his child. His pride was only so much. He couldn't let his child get killed because of it. If Voldemort killed the baby, he would inevitably have to kill Lily in the process. James couldn't let that happen. His parents had just died… not Lily and the baby, as well.

"I have you thinking, don't I?" Voldemort advanced upon the two. "Do you want to kill an innocent life because you were too stubborn to listen to reason?"

Had this been under any other circumstances, James may have scoffed at the irony of what Voldemort was saying. Wasn't he doing the same thing? He was killing innocent people because they refused to listen to what he believed was reason. But if he scoffed now he would lose the two people who meant the most to him, one before he or she ever even got there. "You no longer have a choice, Potter. You will join me or your child will die before you ever get to meet it."

James felt a bead of sweat sliding down his face and his stomach was churning terribly. He wanted to say that he would never join the Death Eaters. He wanted to. But, with a glance at Lily, who was pale and shaking, he didn't know what to do. "I…" Would he want his child to think of him as a coward? His child would live and forever think of his father as someone who couldn't stand up for what he believed in. What kind of influence would that be for the baby? A terrible one. "No."

Voldemort's thin lips narrowed in a dangerous line. "No?"

"No."

"Then you will die."

As Voldemort raised his wand, James did the same. He stepped sideways in front of Lily, knowing Voldemort would go for her the first chance he got. James was not allowing this. As Voldemort opened his mouth, there was a blast and the single door leading into the room was blasted open.

James didn't have to wait to see who it was to know that he and Lily were saved.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Eighty Six: The Prophecy**_

Unfortunately, that meant hurting this woman who had been nothing but kind to them. Mrs. Sherman once again looked between the two men. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Remus said, firmly yet gently. He really hated seeing how much they had upset her. She had been so kind to them. "We're so sorry about this, but…" He trailed off, not wanting to make an excuse that he would get caught in.

Sirius quickly picked up where his friend left off. "It's just something that has to be done. It has nothing to do with you or your home. We're so grateful for everything you've done."

The woman tried to manage a small smile for them, but it faltered noticeably. She could try and convince them to stay, but they seemed so set in their decision that she could only ask, "When will you leave?"


	86. The Prophecy

Disclaimer: Trelawney's prophecy is sole property of JK Rowling, I am simply borrowing it for the purposes of this story.

**Author's Note: **Thanks, as always, to everyone who reads this. Just need to point out something, though it's really for a number of chapters back. James was not Seeker. The first movie took liberties with James's Quidditch position and automatically assumed he was a Seeker. I have read in an interview with JKR that James was actually Chaser. Here's the proof:

_Question: What position did James play on the Gryffindor Quidditch team? Was it seeker like Harry, or something different?_  
J.K. Rowling responds: James was Chaser. (From an interview with on 16 October 2000)

* * *

Chapter Eighty Six  
The Prophecy

"We're sorry about this, Mrs. Sherman."

"Is there something that was wrong with the place? If there is, my husband and I can fix it."

"No, no there was nothing wrong with it. You have a wonderful home and we're grateful you let us live here."

The elderly woman looked utterly saddened as she looked between the two men sitting in her kitchen. Sirius and Remus had done just as they had been told – they went to the woman immediately and told her they would be moving out. They didn't give her any details, as they couldn't risk it. Besides, the less she knew, the better off she would be. All they knew was that while they were living there, she wasn't safe. They couldn't put such a nice woman in danger. Remus and Sirius would be spending a few days at Remus's parents, until they found a new flat that was far away from the one they had called home for over a year. It was necessary and they would do it.

Unfortunately, that meant hurting this woman who had been nothing but kind to them. Mrs. Sherman once again looked between the two men. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Remus said, firmly yet gently. He really hated seeing how much they had upset her. She had been so kind to them. "We're so sorry about this, but…" He trailed off, not wanting to make an excuse that he would get caught in.

Sirius quickly picked up where his friend left off. "It's just something that has to be done. It has nothing to do with you or your home. We're so grateful for everything you've done."

The woman tried to manage a small smile for them, but it faltered noticeably. She could try and convince them to stay, but they seemed so set in their decision that she could only ask, "When will you leave?"

"We'll be gone by tonight," Sirius told her. It wouldn't take them any time to pack up their flat if they did it by magic, and they had been advised to do just that. The sooner they were out of the place, the better off they would be. They had been told not to linger longer than necessary. "One of us will drop the key off for you once we're about to leave."

"That was awful," Remus muttered as they left the woman's apartment and walked up the flight of stairs on the side of the building to their own. The look on Mrs. Sherman's face, she looked betrayed. She often said she thought of them as her surrogate sons, her own having moved away years ago. Then they had to go and break her heart like that by saying they were leaving and not being able to tell her why. Those bloody Death Eaters had to go and find out where they lived. It was a terrifying thought – that two Death Eaters had been in their home and they hadn't even realised it. Now they had to move out, Merlin knew where they were going to go.

"Blame the Death Eaters, it wasn't our fault we had to do that," Sirius muttered, sliding the key into the front door lock.

"Why were they spying on us?" Remus asked angrily as he began combing the living room, deciding on what they would leave here and what they would take.

"To get to Lily and James," Sirius spat, also looking about the room. "Why else?"

"And they can't do that without going through us?"

"They've been watching us and we didn't even realise it, Remus!" Sirius shoved some of their belongings into an empty box with more fury than was necessary. He was disgusted that they had all been fooled and it had almost cost the lives of three people, _had_ cost the lives of two just because they were expendable. "How blind are we that we didn't know we were being watched? Our best friends almost died because of it!"

"They didn't almost die because of that." Remus wasn't going to allow Sirius to blame either of them for what happened. The Death Eaters had tricked them all, that was all there was to it. If Voldemort hadn't found them through he and Sirius, he would have found them in some other way. "Something much worse could've happened." He was thinking of Gideon and Fabian. The two men had finally been found, their bodies stuffed unceremoniously into two dumpsters not far from the Prewitts' home. Apparently they had just finished visiting their sister Molly when they had been attacked. The woman was in hysterics when she had been told what had happened. She blamed herself for it.

"We're just lucky Dumbledore knew where they were," Sirius went on, waving his wand and summoning some more boxes. With another wave, the boxes had assembled themselves.

"And that James figured out how to contact you." Remus was scared to even think of what may have happened if James hadn't had his mirror with him. Remus severely doubted the man and his wife would still be alive. Remus knew there were probably some things stuck under the couch, best to check. He stooped down, gritting his teeth as his knees surged with pain. When he finally deduced that, miraculously, there was nothing there, he turned to his roommate. "This is bad. Voldemort's gotten into all of our lives. Next thing you know, it'll be Peter who's moving out of his flat because of Death Eaters coming to call."

* * *

It was a cold, wet night. Albus Dumbledore strolled through the streets of Hogsmeade, observing the quiet activity occurring. Save for a few souls, the streets were deserted. No one wanted to linger too late these days. It wasn't safe. People weren't even safe in their own homes, as was so well demonstrated by what happened to the Potters and their friends. It disgusted Dumbledore that such good people had their lives uprooted so horribly. James was afraid to let Lily out of his sight; Remus and Sirius were in the midst of finding a new place to live. It wasn't right, yet nothing ever went as one wished it would.

Though a much milder example, the same could be said for what Dumbledore was doing at that moment.

Dumbledore didn't truly wish to continue the elective of Divination, having found no need for it in the past. He didn't believe that it was reliable. Yet who was he to deny the great-great-granddaughter of the famous Seer, Cassandra Trelawney, the chance to obtain the job? Dumbledore didn't believe for a moment that Sybill truly had the ability to see the future, but he was obligated to give her the chance to prove herself. The woman was waiting for him at the Hog's Head. Aberforth had set aside a private room for the two, so Dumbledore could tell her she didn't have the job in the most pleasant way – far away from public humiliation.

Dumbledore nodded in greeting to his brother, who grunted indifferently from his spot behind the bar. Aberforth jerked his head towards the stairs, indicating that the room was up there. Albus wondered if the woman was here yet. He wanted to finish rather quickly, as he had work for the Order of the Phoenix, something vastly more important. When Dumbledore approached the top of the stairs, he could see the woman had already arrived. She was prompt, that was about all she had going for her at this moment.

She looked exactly as he had expected – large glasses that rather made her resemble a bug, bangles dangling off her wrists and robes in bright, mysterious colours. She looked just as a stereotypical fortune teller would. Any shred of hope he may have had for the woman shriveled on the spot. Dumbledore knew he should have just let the class die out; he doubted whether any of the students would be upset if the class was discontinued. In fact, he was sure there would be several raucous celebrations throughout the school, especially amongst the students who had thought it would be an easy class, only to discover that it was pure rubbish.

"Sybill," Dumbledore said pleasantly, holding out a hand towards the woman.

"Professor Dumbledore," the woman said in a voice that put on several airs that suggested something foreboding was coming. This was not looking good for her already.

"Pleasure to meet you," Dumbledore went on, smiling gently despite his personal thoughts that this was an utter waste of his time. "Shall we go inside and you can tell me about your Seer expertise?"

He held the door open for the woman before stepping inside. Trelawney instantly went to the table and pulled out a crystal ball. Dumbledore had to admit he was faintly surprised that she had concealed it so well. He thought she would have brought Tarot cards or tea leaves with her, perhaps even offer to read his palm. However, he smiled for the sake of the woman and sat down, allowing her to predict his future.

"Ah yes, Headmaster," she began in that misty voice of hers. She moved her hands slowly over the crystal ball. Dumbledore looked at the thing, all he saw was fog. "I see great pain… yes, I see terrible amounts of pain. Are you perhaps involved in something dangerous?"

"I believe we all are today, Sybill," Dumbledore informed her calmly.

In a time of war, everyone was in danger regardless of their affiliation – if they openly supported or condemned the Death Eaters or if they elected to remain neutral. When the woman asked him to hold out his hand, Dumbledore knew this was a lost cause. He allowed her to go on with her charade for a good fifteen minutes before bringing an end to it. "I am sorry, but I do not believe I am going to continue with Divination this year. I am sorry to have wasted your time." Dumbledore stood from his chair and started for the door.

Yet just as he was about to turn the knob, something unexpected stopped him. Sybill had begun to speak. Her face had gone lax and she had slumped in her seat. The misty quality of her voice had disappeared and was replaced with a deep, foreboding tone.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches… Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies… And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not… And either must die at the hand of the other for either can live while the other survives… The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies…"

Towards the end of the prophecy there had been a commotion outside the room and the door flung open just as Dumbledore moved out of the way. Aberforth was fighting with someone Dumbledore recognised at once as Severus Snape. There was a strange look on the man's face as Aberforth dragged him away, ultimately kicking him out of the pub. This made Dumbledore uneasy, almost as uneasy as he felt from hearing the woman's prophecy. What else could the explanation for had what just occurred be?

"Sybill, I have rethought the situation and would be delighted to offer you the position as the new Divination professor at Hogwarts."

* * *

It was a miracle that they were alive. James and Lily knew it. They could have been killed if Sirius hadn't had his two-way mirror with him, if he hadn't gone immediately to find Dumbledore and the rest of the Order once they had been snatched. If he hadn't, they wouldn't have been sitting in their flat, safe for the moment. It turned out Dumbledore knew of the place Voldemort had taken them. It was a basement in an old, rundown building just outside of Liverpool. He had brought the Order with him and they managed to drive away Voldemort and his Death Eaters.

James and Lily had been lucky that they hadn't been hurt, though the nerves that jangled through them were enough.

James had insisted on taking Lily to St. Mungo's to be checked on by a Healer. He had read that stress could harm a developing baby and that was the most stressful situation Lily had been in for a while, not to mention she had cried a lot at the Prewitts' funeral. He had feared she would object, but she went with him without so much as a word of protest. She knew he was just trying to be careful and she appreciated that more than anyone knew. The Healers had claimed that the baby was healthy and there was nothing to worry about, though he did advise them both to take it easy for a while.

That was easier said than done.

Voldemort had gone after them three times now. He had murdered two of their friends in the attempt to get at them. He had also driven two of their best friends out of their home because he had to trick them. How could two people cause so much discord in others' lives? If it hadn't been for them, none of that would have happened. Gideon and Fabian would still be alive; Remus and Sirius wouldn't be living with Remus's parents until they could find another flat. Voldemort may have been a contributing factor, but they were largely involved in the disruptions as well. If he didn't want them, he wouldn't have to go after others.

Now James and Lily were sitting in Professor Dumbledore's office at Hogwarts with Alice and Frank Longbottom. None of them knew why they were there, but they suspected it had to be important. They couldn't imagine Dumbledore calling them there otherwise. He would just tell them whatever he had to at an Order meeting. James and Frank sat silently in their seats, looking around at the portraits on the walls (where the occupants were covertly watching them as they feigned sleep) and the silver, spinning objects on the tables. Alice and Lily were speaking quietly to each other, no doubt comparing their maternal problems.

"D'you know what time it is?" James asked Frank, finally breaking the silence between the men.

"Just after two," Frank replied, checking his wristwatch. He then twisted around in his seat, looking towards the door in hopes that the Headmaster would appear. "Moody's waiting for us at the Auror Academy. Dumbledore knows that."

"I've got to get to work," James also lamented. Hospitals didn't stop running because a Healer was called to a meeting. "You have no idea what this is about?"

Frank shook his head. He wished he knew what Dumbledore wanted, but he was just as lost as James was.

Finally the door opened and Professor Dumbledore stepped inside. "I apologise for the delay. Minerva had difficulty with two Slytherin fifth years who _accidentally_ went too close to the Whomping Willow. The tree was rather upset."

James and Lily glanced knowingly at each other. The Whomping Willow was only there because of Remus, who sent himself on a guilt trip the last time someone ventured too close to the tree, back when they were first years. Thank Merlin he wasn't there to hear it had happened a second time.

Dumbledore took a seat behind his desk and studied the four young adults sitting in his room through his half moon glasses. "Now, I will not dawdle as I know you are more than curious about why I have asked you to come here. Very recently I interviewed the great-great-granddaughter of Cassandra Trelawney for the position of Divination professor." The four weren't quite sure what to say and so they simply said nothing at all, waiting for the man to go on. "She made a prophecy, a very important prophecy regarding Voldemort."

This piqued their interest, though they weren't entirely sure why Dumbledore would be telling _them_ about this. Surely he would go to Moody with the news first? Moody _was_ second in command, after all. He could go to anyone in the Order that wasn't them; they were still the newest recruits. The others had more experience, would have a better idea of what to do about this prophecy.

"Surprisingly, the power lays within a child, a child who has not been born yet." Instinctively, James and Frank both turned to their wives. No, this wasn't possible. Dumbledore sounded sad when he next spoke. This was supposed to be a joyous occasion – the birth of children – and now it was marred by this possibility. Dumbledore neglected to mention that the child would be a boy. The Potters wished to be surprised and he would not ruin this for them. So much of it had been ruined already and not by his hand. "It could be either of your children; you have both fulfiled the qualities of the prophecy. You have all defied Voldemort three times and your children will be born at the end of July."

"Professor, sir," James cut in. "The Healers told us our baby would be born until August, couldn't that rule us out?"

Dumbledore frowned thoughtfully. "Hopefully it will, but you should be careful, regardless. All of you, especially you." He nodded to Frank and Alice. Their child was going to be born at the end of July and they knew it. Unless there was a miracle and the baby held off until the following month, the prophecy would only apply to them. "I think it is important that you move out of your current homes, set up protective wards around your new ones. Do whatever is possible to make sure you are safe." The sadness in Dumbledore's eyes deepened as he took in the frightened looks on their faces. They shouldn't have had to hear this. A new life was something to be celebrated, not something that could result in death. "I am truly sorry."

When the four had left, there was a quiet knock at the door. Dumbledore pulled the door open and was staring into the swallow, pale face of Severus Snape. "Ah, Mr. Snape, please come in."

* * *

The Three Broomsticks was nearly empty, save for the group of three that sat at one of the tables and Madam Rosmerta, who was cleaning a spot on the bar with a rather bored expression. Business was not good these days. It was a cool April night, one that would have been perfect for business had it not been for this war. Everyone was too afraid to stay out past darkness. The group sitting at the table figured they had nothing to lose; they were already marked for death. What did it matter if they were out after dark?

"Hey, Moony," Sirius greeted as he spotted the fourth of their group entering the pub. Remus nodded at Rosmerta before turning to his friends. Sirius looked around when he saw it was just Remus who had arrived. He asked, "Where's Peter?" They had been expecting Peter to join them.

Remus shrugged. "He left the shop early, had me close up." Remus peeled off his cloak and took the empty seat beside Sirius.

"He didn't say where he was going?" James asked curiously before taking a sip of his butterbeer.

"No and I didn't bother asking. I doubt I'd get an answer if I did. He doesn't talk a lot, these days." It was true. Peter barely spoke all day at the shop, no matter how many times Remus tried to start a conversation. After a while, Remus gave up altogether. There was no use trying to get him to speak if he didn't want to. The complete strangers who came into the store were better conversationalists than Peter was lately. Turning the conversation away from the man's whereabouts, he asked James and Lily, "Have you two found a new place yet?"

James and Lily had only revealed that Dumbledore had advised them to find a new home, not all of the details behind it. They weren't ready to do that yet, especially since they weren't sure if the prophecy referred to them or to the Longbottoms. James nodded. "Yeah, we found a nice place just outside of London. It wasn't too expensive and there's a nice room that we can use for the baby."

Lily smiled one of the first genuine smiles she had in weeks. "I've already begun decorating it." She patted her large stomach affectionately. "It won't be long now."

James looked faintly relieved as Lily said this, as he had been sure she was going to go on an emotional rampage when she found out they had to find a new home, but she had been surprisingly calm about it. James cleared his throat. "What about you two? Have you found a new place yet?" He still felt guilty that the two had to move out of that flat. They loved it like it was a child. No matter how many times Sirius and Remus assured him that he had no blame to share, he wouldn't hear it.

"We've found a place," Sirius confirmed before taking a swig of his butterbeer. "It's not too far from Diagon Alley, actually. Very inexpensive, seeing as my inheritance will only cover so much and Remus doesn't exactly have a big salary." They had to go out of their way to find a place for Remus to transform for the full moon and Sirius had to keep his flying motorcycle in the flat, but it would do.

Remus nodded. "We're moving in tomorrow, actually. Mum's not happy about it, but she knows we can't live there forever." His mother was worried her son and Sirius would be tracked down again. She thought they were much safer living in their secluded cabin, but Sirius and Remus felt they had infringed on them too long. They liked the freedom they'd had from living on their own and they also knew that to remain at Remus's parents meant putting them in more danger just by association.

The door to the pub opened and Frank Longbottom stepped inside. He looked around the room for a moment before his gaze settled on his fellow Order members. "Hey," he greeted them casually. Dropping his voice, he then said, "Order meeting, now. Dumbledore's got something important to tell us."

"No one's been snatched again, have they?" Sirius asked, grimacing.

Frank shrugged. "No idea. Elphias messaged me, told me to find you guys and to head to his place. It was important, that was all he would tell me." Frank had a feeling that was all Elphias knew about it.

They wasted no time. James and Sirius hastily set down some gold on the table to pay for their drinks. They gathered up their cloaks and followed Frank out of the pub, where they Apparated. The rest of the Order was already there when they arrived, save for Professor Dumbledore. Elphias hastily stood up, letting Lily take his seat in the armchair.

"What's happening?" James asked, taking a seat on the floor.

"No one knows," Sturgis Podmore told him. "We were just told to come; Dumbledore has something important to tell us."

That seemed to be the only thing anyone knew and so they were just content to wait for the Headmaster to arrive. When he did, he wasn't alone. He was accompanied by someone no one expected and, for a moment, they were all certain Albus Dumbledore had officially lost his mind. The man was with a confirmed Death Eater. Sirius Black had confirmed it, had said it was no surprised that the Death Eaters held the man's allegiance. He had been destined for that road ever since he stepped foot in Hogwarts.

So why had Dumbledore just stepped into the house with Severus Snape in tow?

* * *

**Author's Note Part 2: **I was really unsure about whether or not Snape was introduced to the Order. I looked around a lot, but could have missed something. Snape will never cross paths with Peter, so he will not know Peter was a Death Eater and Peter will not know Snape had switched sides.

_**Excerpt from Chapter Eighty Seven: No Turning Back**_

Peter nodded. The hatred certainly ran deep in the Black family. He imagined Sirius would say something just as hateful about her.

Bellatrix laughed cruelly. "What would he say if he saw someone he called his friend here?"

"Where are we?" Peter finally managed, pleased that his voice did not come out as a squeak. That would be the last thing he needed.

"Quiet! The Dark Lord is coming."


	87. No Turning Back

Chapter Eighty Seven  
No Turning Back

"How are we supposed to know we can trust him? He was a Death Eater, Professor Dumbledore!"

"I understand your concern, Mr. Black, but I must ask you to trust me."

Sirius wasn't the only one having a difficult time in trusting the leader of the Order of the Phoenix at the moment. The very fact that he had brought a confirmed Death Eater into their midst was enough to prove that. Dumbledore had explained. Snape was no longer willing to be a Death Eater, something had changed. The Order wasn't so willing to buy that. Severus Snape had been there during some of the fights. He had been there when the Death Eaters had snatched Warren Yearly. He was at the campsite when the Order infiltrated. How easy was it for a phoenix to change the colour of his feathers? Not _that_ easy.

"He's worked for the other side," James put in hotly, not bothering to hide his disgust towards the man. "He could be a spy for them."

"Glad to see your thinking hasn't changed a bit, Potter," Snape spat, glaring daggers at the man. He didn't have to be here, he didn't need their help to protect himself. He could hide out on his own, but Dumbledore had had another plan. It was a miracle Severus had decided to go along with it, but he would not allow any danger to befall Lily. Unfortunately, that meant keeping her husband and child safe, something of which Snape had no interest vested in.

"I'm not going to pretend that I'm eager to have you work with us, Snape." This man had been nothing but a horrible person in all the years James had known him. He was one of the few James did _not_ miss when he graduated Hogwarts. He would be damned if he was supposed to trust this piece of slime now, especially considering who his allegiance once lay with. Snape had turned his back on Lily, who had been his best friend when they were in school. James wouldn't be surprised if he turned his back on the entire Order the first chance he got.

_What_ was Dumbledore thinking?

"I won't pretend either," Snape said coolly. At least the matter was settled there.

James glanced at Lily, who was steadily looking at the wall across from her. He hated to think of what was going through her mind right then. Snape had been her best friend and he had turned his back on her in the worst way. He had called her a Mudblood in front of the whole school and she hadn't spoken to him since. Now he was back in her life. Maybe he would grovel for her forgiveness. James would love to witness that. He listened to the murmurs of the Order members around him. He could tell what they were thinking – here was this man who had been part of the group that had killed so many of their friends and he wanted out.

How could they trust him?

"Is Voldemort going to be so eager to let one of his Death Eaters go?" Remus asked seriously. He couldn't see Voldemort so willingly let one of his own go without so much as a backwards glance. Voldemort would see to it that there was some form of retribution.

"It's good to see you're still so narrow-minded, Lupin," Snape snarled, causing several angry cries from the Order. First he comes into their midst and then insults one of their own. Who exactly did he think he was?

"We have already solved that issue, Remus," Dumbledore calmly told him. "Severus will not be leaving the Death Eaters."

"Dumbledore?" Elphias said uncertainly. He was now positive that his friend was losing his mind. Why on earth would he allow this man into their ranks if he was not going to abandon the Death Eaters, the very people they were fighting against? Did Dumbledore have a death wish they did not know about?

"He will be a spy," Dumbledore explained, sensing the confusion throughout the room. He looked at every single person as he spoke, trying to convey that he was to be trusted. "He has volunteered to spy for us. He will give us information he sees vital information about the Death Eaters working."

"And you believe this, Professor?" Sirius asked, just the faintest sound of a challenge in his voice. One bark from Moody was enough to force Sirius to change his attitude. Even if his tone was slightly more polite, Sirius still couldn't bring himself to believe _Severus Snape_ was willing to change. He had been up to his eyeballs in the Dark Arts ever since they met him, probably since _before_ they met him. It was disgusting and it was who he was. Sirius didn't believe he could change so quickly and he couldn't understand why Dumbledore was so willing to believe it.

"Severus has realised that what he has done is wrong."

James had to bite his tongue to keep the derisive laugh from coming out. As much as he respected Dumbledore, he couldn't help but want to laugh at that. Of _course_ what Snape had done was wrong! It was worse than wrong, it was _inhuman_. He had joined people who killed others for fun and now he wanted to pretend he was sorry?

"I am not asking you to openly trust him," Dumbledore went on, still looking at each person assembled in the room, particularly those who had gone to school with the man. He knew there were deep hatreds that could not be so easily erased. "I ask you to trust my judgement. Severus is doing this at a great risk to his personal being. The things he has done in the past will not be excused and he accepts this. I only ask that you trust me. He will do what I ask and he will help us fight Voldemort."

* * *

Peter wasn't sure he should be doing this. His friends must have been getting suspicious by now. He was never around anymore. They must have been wondering where he was. Then again, they may not even care where he was. He wasn't Lily who was about to burst with child. He wasn't Remus who turned into a furry beast once a month and became weak and ill as a result. He wasn't brave and valiant Sirius or courageous and loving James. He was just Peter and he was tired of it. He wanted to make his mark.

The man he had met at the Dueling Dragons promised he could help him do that. All Peter had to do was meet him at the pub today.

Peter pulled the hood of his cloak up as he turned into Knockturn Alley. If the man, who had identified himself as Dolovsky, was correct, Peter would finally be able to make his mark on the world. He had been speaking with the man periodically. He was just grateful Remus didn't question him when he left the shop early, forcing him to close up. Peter honestly didn't care enough to give him an answer and Remus clearly didn't care enough to ask. Dolovsky was very interesting, it turned out. He had seen a lot in his life.

He was a man who knew what it was like to not be appreciated, something Peter greatly empathized with.

Peter spotted the man at his usual table in the corner of the pub. Dolovsky nodded towards Peter and instantly stood from his seat, crossing the room to meet him. "We won't be staying here today," he said, a faint hint of urgency in his voice.

Peter raised his eyebrows, surprised by the forcefulness with which the man spoke, but he made no mention of it. "Okay… Where are we going, then?"

Dolovsky said nothing; he simply beckoned Peter to follow him out of the pub. Peter followed in silence, his mind wheeling. Where were they going? Why couldn't they discuss what Dolovsky wanted to tell him in the pub? It had been where they had been meeting for weeks now. Peter had grown comfortable with the place. He wasn't sure about the other places in Knockturn Alley. What was wrong with the Dueling Dragon? Unless what Dolovsky had to say was too private. This only increased Peter's interest. This would be his chance to prove he wasn't just the follower, that he could break away from the people he had once called his best friends. He just wanted to know what he had to do to prove this.

He watched the path they were taking carefully so he would be able to repeat it if he had to. He also noted how Dolovsky moved very swiftly, very purposefully. He didn't make eye contact or even acknowledge anyone else on the street. He didn't want to be caught. Where were they going that the man didn't want to be caught going to? For a moment, Peter considered backing out. Yet he didn't. He didn't want to be more of a coward than he already was. He was going to go through with this, with whatever it was.

Dolovsky led him down another side alley. The alley was dark and there was the consistent drip of water in the distance, echoing mysteriously through the otherwise silent alley. Their footsteps seemed oddly loud against the cobblestones, but Dolovsky did not seem to be worried about this. Peter wasn't sure if he should be set at ease by this. He supposed he should trust the man; he had been a wealth of advice for Peter for the past weeks. Peter wasn't sure he would be nearly as confident about himself as he was now without the help of this man.

He had been more helpful than James, Sirius or Remus had ever been. This man was actually helping him _become_ someone.

There was a stone door at the end of the alley. Peter would have missed it if it hadn't been for Dolovsky purposefully stepping up to it and waving his wand in several complicated movements. Then there was a deafening grating sound as the stone door scraped against the walls as it opened. Peter was astonished that no one came to investigate the noise. He supposed people were far too used to this now to worry. It _was_ Knockturn Alley, after all. There was always something strange going on.

The first thing Peter heard when he entered the room was talking coming from up ahead. It was indiscernible at that moment; he couldn't detect any words he understood. Though he did know there were many people speaking at once. The room was lit by several candles, giving it an eerie glow. "Dolohov?" someone barked. Peter couldn't deny that he was surprised that it was a female. And who was Dolohov?

"Ah, Bellatrix, so lovely to see you."

Peter's head whipped around when he realised it was Dolovsky this Bellatrix woman was speaking to. Bellatrix… didn't Sirius have a cousin named Bellatrix who was always up to her ears in Dark Arts? At least, that was how Sirius made it sound. Bellatrix Lestrange, he was sure that was what her name was. What was she doing here, wherever they were?

"Ah, you've brought him with you." Bellatrix came into view. Peter had never seen her before, had only heard about her. She was very pretty; he had to admit, with her long dark hair and dark eyes. But there was something sinister about her. There was a certain amount of evil behind her eyes that frightened Peter a bit. What _was_ this place? What had he gotten himself into? "Pettigrew." She had fully turned her attention to Peter. "I believe you know my cousin, the reject my aunt and uncle named Sirius?"

Peter nodded. The hatred certainly ran deep in the Black family. He imagined Sirius would say something just as hateful about her.

Bellatrix laughed cruelly. "What would he say if he saw someone he called his friend here?"

"Where are we?" Peter finally managed, pleased that his voice did not come out as a squeak. That would be the last thing he needed.

"Quiet! The Dark Lord is coming."

The _Dark Lord?_ Oh no, what had he done? Only the Death Eaters referred to Voldemort as the Dark Lord. This wasn't good. They knew he was part of the Order of the Phoenix. Had this Dolohov man, who had pretended to be his companion for so long, fooled him? He was going to be killed. He knew it. Peter was going to be killed! His mother, what would happen to her? She wouldn't be able to take it. First her husband and then her son? Both murdered by the hands of Dark witches and wizards. She wouldn't be able to handle it. It would kill her if the Death Eaters killed him.

But _why_ would they kill _him?_ He was hardly the strongest member of the Order of the Phoenix. That role belonged to Dumbledore or Moody. Not him. Certainly not him. Peter was weak and they must have known this. They would just want to kill him, turn him into an example. Peter Pettigrew would just be an example to the rest of the Order. It would show them what happened if they continued to defy Voldemort. He was going to die here, all because of his own stupidity.

Peter had never seen Voldemort before and he was not prepared for what he saw. Voldemort was barely a man with his milk white skin and his red, slit eyes. The Death Eaters milling about the room had come into a formation around Voldemort. Peter noticed instantly how rigid and structured this was, unlike the Order meetings where they just sat around and spoke freely. This was more like an army. Clearly this side knew how to fight better than the other. But that didn't matter, did it? They were going to kill him.

Peter doubted he could run fast enough to escape.

"As you can see, we have a visitor." Voldemort's voice was icy and cruel. Peter wondered how James and Lily had faced the man and listened to that voice without wanting to be sick. Of course, they must have wanted to be sick. He was out for their blood, after all. "Peter Pettigrew. As several of you know, Peter is a member of the resistance." There was a rush of angry whispers amongst the group. The Death Eaters loathed the resistance almost as much as they loathed Mudbloods. Voldemort simply held up a hand and the murmuring stopped at once. "Yet there is something different about Peter."

Peter waited for someone to dare to ask what was different about him, as he was rather curious himself, but no one did. Clearly they did not speak unless they were spoken to. Peter could feel his heart hammering painfully against his chest. If they were going to kill him, he wanted them to get it over with. He couldn't stand waiting for it.

"Peter is unhappy," Voldemort continued, turning and addressing the assembly at large. He sounded as though he was relishing this moment and Peter was sure that he was. He was waiting to move in for the kill. There was a rush of murmurs amongst the Death Eaters and Peter was curious to know whether they were positive or negative. It certainly appeared as if he was encroaching upon their territory. He wouldn't have been so welcoming if he was in their position. "He believes there are greater things worth fighting for than the resistance's cause. I admire this."

Peter's eyes could have very well popped out of his head. Voldemort _admired_ something about him? Where was this going? Why would Voldemort admire something about him? There was nothing admirable about him at all. He was part of the Order of the Phoenix, the resistance. The very people who were trying to stop the Death Eaters from getting what they wanted! _What_ was going on?

"In fact, I think we have something to offer him. I believe Peter realises there is a higher cause worth fighting for. He understands that the resistance's cause is futile. He understands they cannot win and, I am sure, would much prefer to be on the victorious side."

Peter's eyes widened. He knew where this was going and now he wasn't so sure he should have ever opened his mouth at the Dueling Dragons. No, he wanted out of this completely, he didn't want to change sides. He wanted to stay out of the danger. These people… they'd done terrible, terrible things. Would Peter be expected to do them as well? Would he be expected to torture and kill people? He tried desperately to keep the panic out of his eyes. It would only make matters worse if Voldemort saw he was a chicken.

"Of course, I am sure he understands that now that he has been welcomed into our midst, there's no turning back." Voldemort was staring directly into Peter's eyes and, no matter how much he wished to, he did not look away. It was true. Peter would not be able to back out now and, as insane as it sounded, he was intrigued very slightly. The Order only spoke of the terrible people the Death Eaters were, not of anything else. "But we can protect Peter in ways he could never imagine. Of course, there is a price."

There was always a price. For Peter's protection, they expected his loyalty.

* * *

"Is something wrong with your arm?"

Peter's head snapped up and he saw Remus emerge from behind one of the shelves, carrying a rather large box. At Peter's questioning look towards the box, Remus explained that this delivery had just come in. He had no idea what it was, as Peter had not told him anything about it. Remus heaved the box onto the counter and peeled back the tape. Inside were novelty broomsticks – they were no longer than a quill and flew around with a simple tap of the wand. When Remus had come back to the front of the store, Peter had been rubbing his arm as if it was hurting him. "You didn't hurt it, did you?"

Peter shook his head quickly. "No, no it's just a bit itchy is all." To make it look somewhat believable, Peter gently scratched his forearm.

Remus still looked doubtful, but he simply nodded and went on removing the new items from the box. "Where do you want these?"

"Over there is fine." Peter nodded toward the empty shelves next to the silver owls. The store was in a bit of a lull today, which didn't surprise Peter. June was a rather odd time of year. There were no major holidays coming up to buy presents for. Occasionally someone would come in looking to buy a birthday gift for someone; otherwise there were just browsers and the occasional customer.

"Are you okay?" Remus asked concernedly as he began transferring the broomsticks to the indicated shelf. Remus was worried about his friend. Peter had become so detached lately that it was very disconcerting. Remus had hoped his friend was just going through a slump, but that didn't seem to be the case. He knew that Sirius had tried a few times to talk to the man, but it had no effect. James wanted to talk to him, but with Lily nearing her due date, he was far too preoccupied with setting up for the baby to do that.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why do you ask?" Peter asked quickly, with the faintest hint of an accusation in his voice. Why did Remus suddenly care if he was okay or not? It wasn't as if he had cared before. Maybe he knew something had changed? Remus was perceptive when he wanted to be. Maybe he detected something was different.

That was the problem Peter faced now. He couldn't risk his friends finding out what he was doing. The Dark Lord had been very strict about that. Absolutely _no one_ could find out about where his allegiance now lay. Peter was going to have to change that. He had to stop being the moody bugger he had become. His friends weren't stupid; they had noticed the change in him and he couldn't risk them investigating. Merlin knew they were nosy enough to delve into his private business.

Privacy knew no bounds were they were concerned.

"I was just curious," Remus said, raising an eyebrow at him. Since when had it become illegal to wonder about his friend's well-being? Peter was just so strange lately and it was beginning to bother Remus.

"I'm fine, Remus, don't worry." This time Peter was sure he had inserted some kindness into his voice, to show Remus he was not going to bite his head off for asking a simple question. Remus seemed to relax upon hearing this and he then went on about a bloke who had come into the shop earlier, asking for the most bizarre items – ranging from spinning kneazles to hiccupping chickens. When Remus assured him, for the thousandth time, they had nothing even resembling that, the man grew very upset and had to be forced out of the shop.

"Where was I when this was happening?" Peter asked, knowing he would have recalled such an occurrence.

"You'd gone to the post office to post an order." Remus sneezed as a puff of dust came off the shelf. "Anyway, the man wasn't very happy."

"Hopefully he doesn't come back," Peter commented as he went to ring up a customer who had just approached the counter.

"Too bad we can't charm the place to keep him out." It would certainly be bad for business if the disgruntled customer continued to come back. Yet Remus was certain he had gotten his point across – unless he wanted a wand to become part of his anatomy, he would only be permitted back if it was with a different attitude.

"Yeah, too bad we can't," Peter agreed, giving the woman her change and wishing her a good day before she left the shop. Peter checked is watch, the store would be closing soon and it was rather slow at the moment. "You know, Moony, why don't you take the rest of the night off?"

Remus glanced up from his work, a surprised look on his face. This had never happened before, unless there was a full moon that night. This wasn't the case. "I'm not due to leave until you are. I've still got to get this done."

Peter shook his head. "Don't worry about it. It's slow right now; I doubt it'll pick up. I'll finish it for you."

"Peter, I can finish it."

"No, you've worked hard all week and you've been closing the place up for me a lot. I'll do this for you. Go on home."

Remus was surprised, admittedly so, but he was not displeased. He _had_ been closing the place up a lot and he was happy to do it, but it was nice for Peter to offer to finish his work for him. Besides, Remus had promised his parents he would stop by. He could do it now. "Thanks mate."

Peter nodded. This was going to be his plan, from now on. He was going to be kind to his friends. He wasn't going to make it seem as if there was anything different. He had picked his side and he would just have to fool them. He wasn't the coward they all thought he was. He wasn't as stupid as he appeared. He knew what he was doing and it was only going to benefit him in the end. Peter Pettigrew was smarter than they knew.

Merlin how it would get them in the end.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Eighty Eight: No Longer Boys**_

"Nice night, isn't it, Lupin?" one of them snarled. His voice was deep and scratchy. Remus tried placing it somewhere in his memory, but couldn't.

"Clever, six on one?" Remus snapped, knowing he should keep his mouth shut, but failing on that front. He wasn't going to roll over without getting any of his own shots in. "Go for the smallest one, shows how brave you are."

The one closest to Remus took this opportunity to kick him in the side and Remus bit back a cry of pain as he felt a few of his ribs crack. "Did we give you permission to speak?"

So he needed their permission? That was rich. He didn't need their permission to do anything and they were in his way of getting home. Who _were_ these people? He felt his eyes watering with pain as his entire torso sang with pain.


	88. No Longer Boys

Chapter Eighty Eight  
No Longer Boys

"How long do you think it'll be before James loses his mind?"

"I give him another week."

"That much time? I give him two days."

"I give him up until the moment Lily gives birth."

Peter threw his galleon into the pile on the table and looked challengingly at Sirius and Remus, as if daring one of them to up the ante. They had all thought they were well past their gambling stage; they hadn't done it in ages. They supposed the reason for the lull was that they had had nothing interesting to gamble on. Now, with Lily's due date rapidly approaching, there was James's sanity to take a chance on. He was being driven up several walls at the same time, so much so that he had pounded loudly on Sirius's and Remus's front door the previous week, in the middle of the night, to ask them what pizza was.

With highly irritated looks on their faces, they had shoved James in the direction of a store that was open twenty four hours, where he could find exactly what he was looking for. That was the last time James would wake them up. He was lucky he hadn't been hexed.

They were now sitting in the Potters' living room, having agreed to help James and Lily move some more of the baby's things into the nursery. They weren't doing much work now, as Lily had suddenly burst into tears, claiming that she was going to be an absolutely horrid mother. James was now in the kitchen, trying to calm her down and assure her that she was going to be a brilliant mother. They really should have begun moving some of the baby's things into the room while James was consoling his wife, but Lily was very precise about where she wanted everything and they did _not_ want to set her into another rage of tears.

"What if James doesn't lose his mind at all?" Sirius asked, looking longingly at the pile of gold on the coffee table.

"We all get our gold back?" Remus suggested hopefully. He knew that he could not afford to lose his money, yet he could not back out on such a fun bet.

"I suggest we all buy me some firewhiskey."

Remus and Peter exchanged exasperated glances. Trust Sirius to suggest something like that. "Do you recall what happened the _last_ time you ingested firewhiskey?" Peter asked with narrowed eyes.

Sirius looked up reminiscently, which a goofy grin on his face. "Did it involve me singing on a bar counter?"

"He _does_ remember. That's amazing."

"Will you buggers stop betting on me and chatting about Sirius's drunken escapades and carry some of that stuff?" The panic in James's voice was enough to get them to move.

The nursery was one flight up, right beside James and Lily's bedroom. The walls hadn't been painted yet, as Lily wanted to wait until they knew if the baby was a boy or a girl before they did that. The cradle hadn't been built yet either, though there were boxes upon boxes that contained toys and clothing for the little Potter, who was just weeks away from arriving. Sirius set down a box that he was certain held some weird Muggle toy that moved in circles and played music.

"It's strange, isn't it?" he asked the two as he observed the room through thoughtful eyes.

"What?" Peter asked as he perched his box on the windowsill. It seemed to be about one of the few places there weren't boxes.

"James is going to be a dad. Lily's going to be giving _birth_." It was a rather shocking idea to digest, but they'd had months to do that. They supposed that now it was so close, there really was no other way around it. James and Lily were going to be parents. They were bringing a baby into this madness. Just last week there had been an attack on a little Wizarding home outside of Surrey where three children had been killed.

James and Lily were right in the midst of all the attacks. No matter how hard they worked to keep themselves safe, they couldn't always be certain about it.

"They'll be fine," Peter said. He wasn't so sure about that however; he had heard whispers among the Death Eaters, whispers that involved the Potters. Yet when he asked about it, the others were more than keen on keeping him in the dark. Peter was sure they would tell him eventually. They were still going through the transition of trusting him. Within time, Peter was sure he would earn their trust and they would welcome him into their plans.

"It's quiet downstairs," Remus commented, moving towards the open doorway to get a better listen. "You think James calmed Lily down?"

"JAMES CHARLES POTTER!"

Sirius stifled a laugh. "That would be no."

* * *

It was oddly cold for July, but this no longer surprised Remus. It was due to the Dementors, who still had a particular penchant for reproducing, creating a horrible amount of fog. Luckily the streets were still seeable. Remus couldn't exactly risk pulling his wand out on Muggle streets. No matter how close he lived to Diagon Alley, there were too many Muggles about. Hogsmeade was a different story, he could light up his wand and no one would bat an eyelash. Remus had gotten out of work later than he usually did. He had had to close up the shop again, as Peter had left early, claiming he was going to visit his mother.

Remus had said nothing about it. Peter was slowly getting back to his old self. He wasn't about to jinx that by asking too many questions. Trust Peter to regress because of that. It was nice having the old Peter back, Remus wanted to do nothing that would ruin that. So he closed up the shop without a single question. He took care of the money, secured the locks and placed the proper security wards around the place. Anyone who wished to break in would have a hard time managing that.

Now all Remus wanted to do was get home. He was cold and tired. The full moon was in a week and he was already feeling the effects of it. According to Sirius, he nearly had to resort to throwing a glass of cold water on Remus's face to get him to wake up that morning. Remus doubted Sirius was really considering doing that but, knowing Sirius, it wasn't such a far-fetched idea. He knew it was because he was getting older that he transformations were getting worst. He wondered what it would be like when he was an old man. How could a person with brittle bones and poor health endure a monthly werewolf transformation?

It would kill him.

That is, if the Death Eaters didn't kill him first. They were becoming relentless, as if they had a new source of energy that no one had ever seen before. Remus couldn't understand what had brought this on, but then, he understood very little about the Death Eaters, aside from the fact that they were sadistic monsters. It would be a long awaited pleasure to finally take them down, to finally prove that their cause was a disgusting, inhuman one. Remus only wondered how long it would be before that happened. It had been years already.

Could they really fight like this for another year, or even longer? This war had been looming under the surface ever since he had started school, probably even before then. It had only come to the forefront within the past few years, but they couldn't go on like this. There were families being torn apart, lives put on hold and lives thrown together hastily and sloppily. People were so uncertain of the future that they tried to do what they would otherwise take time to do, such as getting married and starting families. He hated putting James and Lily in that category, but he didn't see any other category to put them into. They loved each other and they would love their child, but Remus knew they would have taken more time in these decisions if a war wasn't at their doorstep.

Remus shivered as a particularly chilly gust of wind whipped about him, running up and down his spine. That was strange. He suddenly had a horrible sense of foreboding. His body instantly tensed up. He didn't know why, but he felt like someone was watching him. He covertly moved his right hand towards the pocket where his wand resided. He completely forgot about everything Muggle on this street. He wasn't going to be caught off guard by Merlin knew what. It could be a Dementor, a Death Eater or even a stupid stray cat but he wasn't going to be taken by surprise.

Yet it was too late.

He was struck from behind and fell face first onto the pavement, sticking his arms out just in time to protect his face, yet not protecting his arms, which burned with a sickening pain. Within seconds, he was surrounded. All of their faces were covered, preventing Remus from identifying any of them. Of course, why should he have expected anything else? Fair play was obviously not in their vocabulary. There were at least six of them and they were all bigger than he could ever hope to be. The one whose wand was held out was clearly the one who had sent the spell at him. It had had no other effect other than to knock him off his feet.

"Nice night, isn't it, Lupin?" one of them snarled. His voice was deep and scratchy. Remus tried placing it somewhere in his memory, but couldn't.

"Clever, six on one?" Remus snapped, knowing he should keep his mouth shut, but failing on that front. He wasn't going to roll over without getting any of his own shots in. "Go for the smallest one, shows how brave you are."

The one closest to Remus took this opportunity to kick him in the side and Remus bit back a cry of pain as he felt a few of his ribs crack. "Did we give you permission to speak?"

So he needed their permission? That was rich. He didn't need their permission to do anything and they were in his way of getting home. Who _were_ these people? He felt his eyes watering with pain as his entire torso sang with pain.

"Remus Lupin," one of them said casually, as if he and Remus went way back. Remus felt his stomach drop out of his body. They knew his name; they knew his bloody _name_. If they knew his name, what else did they know about him? Did they know he lived just feet away? Merlin, Sirius was home. What if they had gotten to him already? He could be dead or badly hurt. "You're one of them. You're one of those pretentious, greater than us wizards part of the resistance. You know what we like to do to people like you?"

Remus found out exactly what they liked to do to people like him. Six against one, with the full moon so close by, he didn't have a chance against them. At one point he reached for his wand in the vain hope he would be able to fend them off that way, but another kick to the ribs sent his wand flying out of the circle of men. He tried to call for help, but a hit that resulted in three of his teeth ending up on the ground stopped that.

It wasn't long before there was a loud snarl of fury from outside of the group and a wave of spells sent their way that forced them to scatter and Disapparated. Then a furious voice sounded from somewhere above. "That's right, run you cowardly bastards!"

Remus faintly heard footsteps hurrying towards him and he instinctively recoiled. Every bit of him was aching in pain. He could feel blood dripping steadily out of his mouth, his nose and various other parts of his body. His breath hitched as he felt a hand touch the side of his face. The hand gently turned his face upward and, through his blurry vision, Remus could just make out the outline of Sirius before he slipped out of consciousness.

"Oh Merlin, Moony, what have they done to you?" Sirius was fuming. He had heard voices coming from outside and had, at first, thought nothing of it, until they began to rise and he heard shouts. It took him mere seconds to recognise the shouts as Remus's and he had hurried outside. Merlin, he would get those monsters. Six against one was not a fair fight. Of course, why should Sirius have expected one? There was no such thing as a fair fight these days, especially between Dark wizards and wizards like Remus – members of the Order of the Phoenix. But Remus was the smallest of the entire Order; he was weak from the upcoming full moon. He wouldn't be able to defend himself as he normally would.

"You'll be okay," Sirius went on, unsure of why he was still talking. Remus couldn't hear him. He must have been trying to reassure himself that his friend would be okay. "I'll get you to Mungo's, someone can help you there." Sirius carefully gripped Remus's scratched and bloody wrist and concentrated on an image of the hospital. James was there right now. James worked in the Creatures Induced Injury ward, but he would make sure someone saw to Remus immediately. Merlin, Sirius had to contact Remus's parents. Harry and Anna had to know about this. They worried about their son and this would only confirm their worries.

The lobby of St. Mungo's was blindingly bright compared to the darkness of the night outside. Sirius wasted no time pulling out his two-way mirror. He knew James carried his with him at work. "James Potter!" The second James's befuddled face filled the glass, Sirius plowed on, "Prongs! Get into the lobby right now."

"Sirius, what's going on?" What was Sirius doing in St. Mungo's, of all places? He didn't look injured, just terribly scared. Had something happened to Lily, or one of their friends? James was instantly alert.

"Moony was attacked coming home, he doesn't look good. Can you come or get someone to come and help him?"

"I'll be there in a minute." James's face disappeared from the glass and Sirius stuffed the mirror back into his pocket.

James was true to his word. In less than a minute he was hurrying into the lobby with another Healer in tow. "This is Healer Jenkins," he told Sirius. Turning to Healer Jenkins, he said, "Take care of him, and get him into the first ward you can."

Jenkins nodded and magicked Remus onto an invisible stretcher. Sirius watched as the two disappeared through the doors. "I'll contact Moody," James told Sirius in an undertone. "He'll want to know about this. Why don't you go get something to eat? They'll be working on him for a while from the looks of it."

Sirius didn't think he could hold anything in his stomach right now. He felt too sick. "No… no, I've got to get his parents. They need to know."

James nodded understandingly. "Ask for me when you get back. I'll let you know if you can see him. Tell me what happened when you get back."

Sirius wasted no time Apparating out of the hospital and into the front yard of an all too familiar home. The lights were still home in the Lupins' house, which made sense as it wasn't late at all. Yet it appeared as if Mr. and Mrs. Lupin were having a quiet evening at home. Sirius hated to be the one to shatter their calmness, especially with the news that their only son had just been attacked on his way home from work. Sirius ran up to the front door and knocked quickly and loudly on it.

"Who is it?" came Harry's stern and alert voice from inside.

"It's Sirius, Mr. Lupin!" Sirius wasn't sure if Mr. Lupin would relent that easily, but some of the panic he was experiencing clearly transferred into his voice as he heard the locks click on the door.

Harry's concerned face appeared almost instantly. "What's happened? Is everything alright?" Harry looked past Sirius, possibly in hopes of seeing his son was with him, but Remus was nowhere to be found.

"Harry, who's at the door?" Anna Lupin had just come into view and when she saw Sirius; her look soon mirrored the one on her husband's face.

"Mr. Lupin, you've got to come with me."

"Come where? Sirius, what's going on?"

"Remus was attacked; he's in St. Mungo's. James has got a Healer looking after him, but you've got to come."

Sirius hated hearing the sharp intake of breath from Mrs. Lupin; see the colour drop out of her face.

"Attacked?" Harry repeated, his voice a hoarse whisper. "By who?"

"I don't know. It was a group of at least six, they ganged up on him. He didn't have a chance." He didn't want to rush the man, who was obviously in shock, but they had to get back to the hospital. Harry quickly snapped back to reality and turned to his wife. "I'll be back soon; I'll let you know anything I can the first chance I get."

* * *

"Come on, Lupin, think. What did they look like?"

"I told you, I don't know. They were all masked."

"Are you absolutely sure?"

"_Yes!_"

"But-"

"Alastor."

Alastor Moody looked around and saw Harry Lupin and Sirius Black standing in the doorway to Remus's ward. Harry looked furious to see the Auror was grilling his son so soon after the attack. Alastor had barely given him time to collect himself before diving into the questioning. Remus wasn't ready for that. Just from hearing Remus's voice, it was painfully obvious he was hurt and didn't want to be bothered.

Moody looked unabashed by the apparent anger. "It's protocol, Harry," he replied calmly. He had to find out anything he could about these menaces. He was going to get them. Honestly, going after someone like that. Moody had seen many things as an Auror and he hated that the most.

Harry stepped into the room. "I don't care if it's protocol, Alastor. My son is in pain and I will not have you interrogating him until he's ready. He doesn't know who they were. How could you possibly know what masked people look like?" The steady fury beneath Harry's voice was accepted by Moody, who stood up and crossed to the door.

He wheeled around just as he was about to leave and stared past the others in the room to the one lying in bed. "The second you feel better, Lupin, you're answering my questions."

Remus stifled a yawn and nodded wearily. He knew he wasn't going to be able to tell Moody anything more than he just had, but he was too bloody tired to argue with the man. He looked little better than he had when Sirius had brought him in, save that the blood had been cleaned off and he was in a pair of hospital robes. Sirius imagined the ones he had originally been wearing had been sent somewhere to be cleaned so he could have them back.

There was a quiet knock at the door and Sirius and Mr. Lupin wheeled around to see James was standing in the doorway, peering into the room. "He's awake?"

"Hi, Prongs," Remus said sleepily.

A small smile crossed James's face and he stepped further into the room. "You're looking lovely as ever, Moony."

"Shut up."

"Does anyone want to hear the damage?" James was holding a clipboard in his hands. He grinned as Harry's affirmative reply sounded over Remus's negative. Pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, he read off the parchment. "Four broken ribs, all mended, of course. We've re-grown your teeth for you, Remus; you can thank us for that when you look at yourself in the mirror. Broken nose, fixed in a heartbeat. They went at it with the Cruciatus Curse, but not enough to do any permanent damage. Your left wrist was sprained, but that's been fixed and there're some other injuries, but I think you've heard enough, haven't you?"

Remus sounded faintly sick when he replied that he had.

James tucked the clipboard under his arm. "I need to finish up my rounds. I'll stop in on my way home to see how he's doing."

Mr. Lupin thanked James as the man disappeared down the corridor. There were empty chairs placed beside Remus's bed and Harry did not hesitate to take one of them. Sirius stood awkwardly in the doorway for a moment before muttering something about getting coffee and offering to get one for Mr. Lupin.

"How are you feeling?" Harry asked his son.

"Like someone dropped a Hippogriff on me," Remus brought a bandaged hand to his forehead and gritted his teeth as a fresh wave of pain overcame him. He had a feeling this would keep happening until he finally fell asleep. Healer Jenkins had offered to give him a potion for the pain, but Remus had declined. He hated having to rely on that stuff to feel better. "I should've been better prepared for this."

"They came at you, you weren't expecting it." Harry was not about to allow his son to blame himself for this. Those maniacs had attacked him, cornered him and had outnumbered him. Remus was a strong wizard, but no one could be expected to fend off six people at once.

"I _was_ expecting something. I felt people watching me."

"That doesn't mean this was your fault. There were six of them and one of you. How could you expect yourself to fend them all off on your own?"

"My wand," Remus suddenly said, his eyes widening. He had completely forgotten about it. "Where's my wand?" The last he remembered of it, it had been knocked out of his hand.

"I've got it, Moony." Sirius had returned with two cups of coffee in hand. He passed one to Mr. Lupin as he took the second seat. He pulled Remus's wand out of his pocket and set it on the nightstand.

"Thanks."

"No problem." Arses had fought him when he didn't even have his wand to defend himself. Nice way to get what they wanted.

Remus started to open his mouth again, to thank Sirius for getting him out of there, but Sirius stopped him, simply telling Remus, with a snarky grin, that he owed him for the rest of his life. It didn't take long for the sleepiness to overcome Remus and soon the room was filled with his quiet snores. Sirius leaned back in his seat and took a sip of his coffee.

"You can go home, if you want, Sirius," Harry said. Sirius had already done more than enough that night. The least he could do for himself was get some sleep.

Sirius shook his head. "No, I'll stay here with him, if you want to go tell his mum that he'll be alright."

Harry nodded. When he was sure Remus wouldn't be waking up for the night, he would go tell Anna that their son would be okay. Looking at the boy sitting beside him, Harry then said, "I can't tell you how lucky Remus is that you decided to sit in his compartment on your way to Hogwarts."

Sirius glanced at Mr. Lupin curiously. He had not been expecting the man to say that. Sirius could remember that first train ride as clear as anything. He had entered the sleeping boy's compartment, thinking that it would be the longest train ride ever, and not long after he had been joined by James and Peter. No sooner had Remus woken up and they'd all gotten to talking. He had had no idea back then that these three would become his best friends, practically his brothers.

"You've been such a good friend to him. You don't know how many friends Remus thought he had when he was a child who abandoned him the moment they saw something funny about him. But you, James and Peter, you found out his secret and became even better friends." Harry glanced back at his son, watched the steady rising and falling of his chest as he slept. The Healers said he would be okay soon. It didn't change the fact that he was here in the first place. "Every time he's in a hospital, I can't help but remember when he was bitten. People always look smaller in hospital beds."

Sirius glanced at his friend and saw that Harry was right. He didn't know why this was so, but it was. Maybe it was because people were usually hurt or sick when they were in this position and that definitely made a person _feel_ smaller. It must have been a horrible time, when Remus was only a little boy and Fenrir Greyback had sought to destroy his life. It was hard to believe how long ago it had been that this happened, and then when Greyback had come for seconds. It was a miracle Remus had made it to the age of twenty.

"You're all grown up, aren't you?"

This statement startled Sirius. He had expected something more along the lines of how much Mr. Lupin would like to mutilate Greyback.

"I still think of you all as the boys I met when I taught Charms for those few weeks in your first year. But you've grown up. You're fighting in a war. James is married and about to become a father. Remus has moved out and is working in a shop Peter started. You've all grown up. I suppose I wish you didn't have to do so as fast as you did. But I can't stop thinking of you all as boys, but you're not. You're no longer boys. Somewhere along the line, you all became men."

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Eighty Nine: Old Life and New Life**_

"Wha-What?" James's untidy mass of black hair appeared from behind the bed and he climbed back onto the bed, looking in amazement at Lily. "What was that for? If you wanted to wake me up, just nudge me a bit!"

Lily ignored the last bit and said hurriedly, "James, it's time!"

James rolled his eyes. "Time to go back to sleep?"

Lily felt another pain in her stomach and groaned. James's eyes widened as he realized what she meant. He instantly went into a panic. "Time? No… no it can't be time yet! We're not ready! I need to build the cradle; we need to pick a name!"

"That's going to have to wait now, James. We need to get to the hospital."


	89. Old Life and New Life

Chapter Eighty Nine  
Old Life and New Life

It was only seven in the morning on the thirty first of July when there was a sharp knock on the front door of Remus's and Sirius's flat. Remus's eyes instantly snapped open and, in the same second, his arm shot out towards his wand on his nightstand. Ever since he had come home from the hospital, he had been jumpier than usual. Healer Jenkins said this would be natural. He had been attacked on the streets far too close to his home for his liking. He wasn't about to get over that very easily. There was always the chance it could happen again and he _wouldn't_ make it this time. Luckily there hadn't been a repeat and he'd been allowed to heal in peace.

But when someone pounded on your front door at seven in the morning, there was nothing good about it.

Remus sleepily slipped into his slippers and padded across the room. Once out in the hallway, he glanced into Sirius's room and saw the man had not been disturbed by the sudden noise. Remus wasn't surprised. Sirius slept like the dead, why should this be any different? Remus had half a mind to make Sirius go answer the door, as he was still sick from the full moon that had risen just days ago, but he was already up. He knew he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. He may as well go see who it was who had disrupted his sleep.

Remus stopped at the front door, shutting his eyes with a grimace as the knocking started again. He tightened his grip on his wand and extended his arm towards the door. "Identify yourself!" he demanded forcefully. He wasn't about to let a potential Death Eater into his house. He wanted to know who it was and he wanted to be sure it was who they were claiming to be.

"Alastor Moody, open up, Lupin!"

There was no disputing Moody's distinct voice, but Remus knew that Polyjuice could aid in this charade, or a much practised person could be just as convincing. Either way, he was not letting this supposed Moody into his flat. He was _not_ landing himself in St. Mungo's again, not because he had let his defences down. "Prove it!"

"I am a member of the Order of the Phoenix, one of the top Aurors and I will break four more of your bloody ribs if you don't let me in right this moment!"

That sounded like something Moody would say, alright. Besides, who else would know just how many of his ribs had been broken? Remus unlatched the door and let the man in. But when Remus got a good look at Moody, he saw something was very wrong.

Moody was looking at him in a way that he had never looked at him before – he looked _sorry_. Moody never looked sorry about anything. He hadn't looked at Remus that way when he was lying in a hospital bed in St. Mungo's. Then he had looked as though he was about to strangle the nearest person. Moody never even looked sorry at the various funerals they had gone to for Order members. _What_ was causing him to wear that expression? "Moody, what's going on?"

Moody heaved a giant breath and nodded to the armchair. "You need to sit down for this, Lupin."

* * *

At exactly seven in the morning on the thirty first of July, Lily Potter awoke with a start. Why was her bed wet? It was then that she felt pain, a terrible pain she had only heard stories about, though she had been warned she would experience it soon. Oh no, this couldn't be happening, not yet! She and James weren't ready for it! They hadn't finished setting up the nursery, they hadn't finished buying everything they would need, and they hadn't even picked out a name yet. Boy or girl, they had expected to have a name for either and they didn't. The baby couldn't be coming yet.

"James," Lily hissed, yet her voice was not loud enough to awaken her husband. It also didn't help that James seemed to become deaf when he slept. James didn't even move in his sleep. Using whatever strength she had, she nudged James in the back, so hard, in fact, that he toppled sideways off the bed, right onto the cold floor.

"Wha-What?" James's untidy mass of black hair appeared from behind the bed and he climbed back onto the bed, looking in amazement at Lily. "What was that for? If you wanted to wake me up, just nudge me a bit!"

Lily ignored the last bit and said hurriedly, "James, it's time!"

James rolled his eyes. "Time to go back to sleep?"

Lily felt another pain in her stomach and groaned. James's eyes widened as he realised what she meant. He instantly went into a panic. "Time? No… no it can't be time yet! We're not ready! I need to build the cradle; we need to pick a name!"

"That's going to have to wait now, James. We need to get to the hospital."

James seemed to go into overdrive. He sped out of bed, pulled on a pair of socks and shoes and grabbed Lily's hospital bag before bolting out of the bedroom. It was only when he was at the bottom of the stairs that he realised something was missing. Something extremely important was missing. Turning on his heel, he ran back up the stairs and burst back into the bedroom, where Lily was waiting for him.

"I think you need your pregnant wife, James," she said pointedly, shaking her head at him.

James grinned sheepishly. "Right, right, of course."

Within no time Lily was settled into St. Mungo's and all there was left to do was wait. Healer Watkins told James that it would be several hours before anything happened and he should go get something to eat or alert any family he may want to. The first people that came to mind were his friends. He would stop at Sirius's with the news and tell them to get Peter and come to the hospital. Sirius was going to be a godfather; of course he would want to be there when the baby was born.

Clearly Sirius hadn't gotten around to putting up his Anti-Apparition wards yet. This was proven when James was able to Apparate straight into Sirius's bedroom, landing directly on the man's legs. Sirius awoke with a strangled yelp and he instantly went for his wand. Blinking rapidly, it took him a few seconds to recognise the figure that had just appeared in his bedroom. "What, in Merlin's name, are you doing?" He stared at James in astonishment, this was not the kind of wakeup call he enjoyed. He didn't enjoy any wakeup call, actually. "Get off my legs and _out_ of my bed."

James leapt off the bed and attempted to yank the covers back off his friend. Sirius gripped the blanket tighter and pulled it back up to his neck. He stared at James in amazement. "Oi, what's the matter with you?"

"Get out of bed; get to the hospital, Lily's having the baby!"

Now Sirius was the one to leap out of the bed in a rush. He pulled his socks and shoes on. James told him to wake Remus and get Peter and meet him at St. Mungo's as soon as they could. James then disappeared. Sirius didn't waste any time. Within moments he was rushing out of his bedroom and starting across the hall to wake his roommate up. He was surprised to see that Remus's bed was empty, though he hadn't gotten around to making it yet.

He found Remus sitting in the darkened kitchen. What was more, Remus was already dressed. Had he heard James come in and decided to get dressed without having to be told? But something was wrong. Remus was sitting with his forehead in hand, his face obscured. He hadn't even moved when Sirius entered the room. He hadn't made the slightest sign of acknowledgement. It was as if he hadn't heard him at all. "Come on, Moony! We need to go!"

Remus's voice was quiet and detached when he spoke. "Go where?"

"The hospital!"

"Why?"

"Lily's having the baby!" Sirius had expected Remus to have the same reaction he had – to jump out of his chair and rush out the door in a flurry of excitement. They had all been waiting for this day for months and it had come earlier than they expected. But Remus didn't move, except to lower his arm to the table. It was then that Sirius saw something deeply upsetting.

Remus looked lost. His face was red and drawn and his eyes blinking rapidly, as if he was desperately trying to figure something out. He looked sick and disbelieving and Sirius almost didn't want to know what was making him look this way. It hadn't been very long since he'd come home from the hospital. Maybe he had reawaken an injury from the attack? "Remus, what's the matter?"

When he spoke, it was with the same detached voice. "Moody came by earlier."

That was never a good thing. Sirius very much doubted the man came by to see how Remus was healing. "What did he want?"

Remus inhaled deeply and it was then that Sirius noticed the man's hands were shaking madly. Remus clenched them tightly on the edge of the table, as if he was bracing himself. "He… he heard about a commotion out in the country, some campers heard it. When he went to see what was causing it, he saw it was near my parents house… the Dark Mark was over their house and when Moody went inside… my parents are dead, Sirius."

Sirius felt like someone had punched him hard in the stomach. No… no, he wasn't hearing his friend correctly. Harry and Anna Lupin… they _couldn't _be dead. He had just seen them and they had been perfectly alive! They couldn't be dead. They were too young, too full of life. Looking at Remus, Sirius knew there was no denying it. They were gone. Sirius began to sputter. "What… I…"

Remus went on speaking, as if he hadn't heard Sirius's sputtering. "I was just there; Moody and Dumbledore told me to come home for a bit, until I was ready to go back." He took another deep breath and shakily let it out. "I'll never be ready to go back… but I'm going there in a few minutes. There're things I need to do." Remus, who had been gazing steadily at the tabletop, finally turned to Sirius. "My parents are dead."

Sirius was reminded of their third year when his grandparents had died. He remembered Remus's thirteen year old self rushing about the dormitory, stuffing his clothes into his bag as he prepared to go home. He had said the same thing about them, as if he was trying to grasp it. Sirius imagined this was much harder. Remus's parents were everything to him. They had been by his side since he was a child. They didn't abandon him when he was bitten. Now they were gone. "I… I don't know what to say."

"Don't," Remus said, getting unsteadily to his feet. Sirius held out a hand to help him, but Remus shrugged away from it. "I… I need to get back."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Sirius knew there were the different stages of grief and he had a feeling Remus might skip a few, that or they wouldn't go in order. If he was about to lose it, he would need a friend there when it happened.

"No… go be with James at the… at the hospital." A tremor ran through his body as he took another shuddering breath. "Dumbledore and Moody are there, they'll help me with… with what I need to do."

Remus pulled his coat on and brought a hand to his stomach, looking as if he may be sick.

Sirius felt as though he had to say something, anything, and all he could think of was, "I'm so sorry."

Remus took another breath. "I am too." And he disappeared.

* * *

Sirius had just left Peter at the bathroom when he went to find James. He was in a haze. He just couldn't grasp what he had been told. Mr. and Mrs. Lupin _couldn't _be dead. They just couldn't be. He had seen them not so long ago and they had been perfectly alive. They had been in their homes as they would have been on any other evening. He couldn't get the shocked look on his friend's face out of his mind. Remus looked so bloody _lost_. He had already seen his parents and Sirius knew there was no recovering from that. To lose a parent, to lose _both_ parents in such a terrible way and at the same time, Sirius wasn't sure Remus would ever get over that.

In fact, Sirius would understand completely if his friend just decided to break down. Yet, somehow, Sirius wasn't sure if Remus could. In the nearly ten years that he had known Remus, he had never seen him cry. He had seen him come close, right after an extremely painful full moon. It had been in their second year, when they had abandoned him because they found out his secret. Sirius had let his curiosity get the better of him and snuck into the Whomping Willow and the Shrieking Shack and found twelve year old Remus lying on the cold floor.

But that had been a completely different situation. He had been in pain; the full moon hadn't been a good one by any means. Sirius had never seen his friend just cry out of sadness. It was clear he could feel it, but he hardly ever let go and indulged it.

"Padfoot!"

Sirius looked up and saw James hurrying towards him. There was the absence of the fatherly gleam in his eyes, so Sirius safely assumed Lily hadn't had the baby yet. Sirius managed a smile for his best friend. "Hey, Prongs, how's Lily doing?"

James came to a halt in front of Sirius and looked sheepishly at him. "She just blamed me for women's… err… time, you know. Actually she blamed the entire male species, but it was directed at me." James shrugged and looked around, noticing there were two people missing from the group. "Where are Wormtail and Moony?"

"Wormtail's in the loo," Sirius told him before beckoning James off towards a corner by the window. He kept his voice low when he spoke. "Something bad happened, James."

James noticed the unusual amount of seriousness in Sirius's voice and bent forward in interest and worry. "What's going on?"

"Moony's parents were killed this morning."

James's face looked much as Sirius expected his own had when he first found out. Had this been under any other circumstances, Sirius may have chuckled a bit at James's jaw dropping right open. "They're… they're dead?"

Sirius nodded sadly. "Moody came by this morning and told Remus."

"Well, where is he now? Is he okay?"

"I don't think so. He's gone home. Dumbledore and Moody are there with him, so he's not alone."

James nodded. That was a good thing. James knew it was important to be with others during a time like this. He had surrounded himself with his friends when his parents had died and they would have to be there for him. "Maybe you should go home; someone has to be there when he gets back."

"He wants to be on his own, Prongs." Remus didn't have to say it, but Sirius knew. When he got back to the flat he was going to want to be by himself. He wasn't alone now, that was the most they could ask for, but later he knew Remus wouldn't want company. "I'll check in later, just to make sure he got back okay."

James said nothing else and was quickly called into the ward Lily was in. With a frantic look towards his best friend, he sped off to see what was happening.

Sirius took a seat in one of the empty chairs and was only vaguely aware of Peter sitting down beside him. This wasn't right. This was supposed to be a happy day, one of the happiest days. This was the day their two friends became parents and the Death Eaters had to go and ruin it, just like they ruined everything else! What had Mr. and Mrs. Lupin done to deserve it? Nothing, that was what. They hadn't done anything to deserve their fate, yet that didn't stop the Death Eaters from killing them. Hadn't it been enough when they attacked Remus off guard? No, they had to go back for seconds and got him in the worst way they knew how.

"Today was supposed to be a good day, wasn't it, Wormtail?"

"Yeah, it was," Peter said slowly.

"Why has it been rubbish so far?"

Peter shrugged, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. He hadn't known about the plan to kill the Lupins. He didn't know what he would have done if he _had_ known about it. He was certain the others had kept it from him because they knew he socialized with Remus, knew that he worked with him, and he could possibly let something slip. He may have let something slip. As much as he was angry with his friends, he didn't think Mr. and Mrs. Lupin should have been killed. Yet who was he to stop it from happening? It was just another way for the Death Eaters to demonstrate the power they had.

Grudgingly, Peter wondered how the man was faring. Poorly, he imagined and, in this instance, Peter honestly couldn't hold that against him.

Several hours passed and nothing happened; only that Lily was steadily getting closer to delivering the baby. James came out a few times to keep them updated and to persuade them to go get something to eat. Peter had taken him up on that offer without much persuasion and Sirius used this chance to go home to see if Remus was back yet. When he arrived back at their flat, he went to open the door, only for it to open on the other side.

"Ah, Sirius." It was Dumbledore and Moody. "I would welcome you inside, but this is your home."

Sirius smiled weakly, knowing Dumbledore was simply trying to cheer him up. "Is Remus inside?"

"Yes, but I believe he said he wished to be alone." Dumbledore considered Sirius for a moment. "Of course, I know you will go inside, regardless."

Sirius nodded and then turned his attention to Moody. "What happened?"

"The Death Eaters got them, that's all there is to it."

Sirius raised a sceptical eyebrow; the answers were never that simple when Alastor Moody was involved in something. He_ made_ it complicated. There had to be more to it. "Come on, Moody, that's all?"

"In this case, I think they were just trying to make a point."

"And so they killed his parents?"

"I'm not saying that it's right. Harry and Anna were good people."

They were good people and their lives had been ripped away from them before their time. "Is everything taken care of? Is there anything I need to do?" He would do whatever he could to make this easier for his friend. He knew Remus would be like James in this case - tell him that he didn't have to do anything. What was different about this situation was that James had been expecting it. Remus had been caught completely off guard. Would that possibly make him accept help when it was offered?

Sirius doubted it. His roommate was too stubborn for his own good sometimes.

"You can talk to him," Dumbledore suggested, knowing that was what Remus needed the most at the moment – someone to talk to. Sirius nodded to the two men as they moved past him and out of the building. The house was silent and he found Remus sitting in the kitchen, papers spread on the table in front of him. "Hey, Moony."

Remus glanced up in acknowledgement, but said nothing.

Sirius was not surprised by this. He simply took the seat across from his friend. "What's all that?" He had a strong idea of what it may be.

"Their wills," Remus replied quietly, his eyes still glued to the papers, though it was evident he was no longer reading them. "How's Lily?"

After everything that he had gone through that day, Sirius was startled to hear such a simple question. "She's doing well. I think she tried to chuck something at James at one point, but we do that all the time, so I think he's used to it." Sirius chanced a grin, but he didn't see the same appear on Remus's face. "Look, mate, anything you need me to do, just say the word and I'll do it."

Remus shook his head. He clenched his eyes shut and ran his hands over his face. Merlin, he was tired. "I've got it under control. Why don't you just go back to the hospital?"

Sirius had half a mind to say he would just go back the next day, as Lily was certain to have had the baby by then, but he didn't. Dumbledore had said Remus wanted to be alone and if that was the only way he could help him, he would do it. "Alright," he said, rising from his seat and pushing the chair in. "If you need anything, let me know and I'll come home." Remus nodded and Sirius took this as his leave.

The hospital was quiet when he got back and Peter was just where he had left him. The man had managed to dig up a copy of the _Daily Prophet_ and Sirius felt a horrible pang hit his stomach. It was going to be strange to read that newspaper without any of Harry Lupin's articles in it. Sirius resumed his seat beside the man and asked, "Has anything else happened?"

"I think Lily tried to strangle James at one point," Peter commented idly as he ruffled the pages of the paper. "But that could've just been my imagination."

Sirius snorted. Peter certainly had an overactive imagination then. Yet he honestly wouldn't be shocked if the woman had tried to strangle her husband. "Is she any closer to having the baby?"

"She must be, there was a lot of excitement in there before and it wasn't because James had done anything stupid."

Sirius couldn't help but sit up straighter in his seat upon hearing this. After everything that had happened today, to see Lily with her little baby would be the most joyous thing they could experience. Merlin, he felt almost like the expectant father as he paced back and forth, waiting for James or one of the Healers to come out with the news. He was going to be a _godfather!_

A little while later the door to the ward opened and a rather unsteady, though deliriously happy, James stepped out. He walked up to Sirius and Peter, who had gotten up when he came out. "I'm a dad," he whispered shakily. "It's a boy. I have a son!"

"Oh, Merlin, congratulations, James," Sirius said as he pulled his best friend into a hug. He could feel the man shaking with happiness.

"He looks just like me, he's barely got any hair but it's still messy like mine."

"Is the world ready for another James Potter?" Sirius asked with a smirk. He doubted the world would ever be ready for that. "Have you picked a name for him yet?"

James shook his head. "Not yet. Wait a few minutes and come in. They've just taken the baby to clean him." Every time James spoke about his son, this goofy, disbelieving grin crossed his face. He couldn't believe he was a father. James disappeared back inside the ward and said he would come back out to get them.

Peter, however, wasn't staying. He said he had to hurry off, though he wouldn't elaborate on where. He simply asked Sirius to offer his congratulations to Lily for him. Within fifteen minutes, the door opened again and James told Sirius to come in. Lily was lying on the hospital bed with a small bundle in her arms. James was right. The tuft of black hair on the baby's head was as messy as James's. Their faces were practically the same, though Sirius couldn't tell about the eyes yet, as they were shut. The shape definitely didn't look like James's.

"Here's your godson, Padfoot."

"Hate to tell you this Lily, but it's a right shame he doesn't look like you," Sirius said with a laugh.

"I know, I wish he did," Lily said with a sly grin at her husband. James, however, was too thrilled to take offense to this. The woman looked bloody tired, but the happiness emanating from her overpowered it. "We need a name, you know, James."

"I think Sirius is a brilliant name, but that's just my opinion," Sirius said with a snarky smile. "I should probably be getting home," he said to James, who nodded understandingly. Sirius crossed the room and leaned forward to kiss Lily on the cheek. He clapped James on the shoulder and disappeared from the room.

"Any ideas for a name?" Lily asked as James took a seat in the chair beside the bed.

"Harry," James replied without hesitation.

"Harry?" Lily repeated with some surprise.

"Yeah – Harry Potter, the names go well together, don't they?" Lily couldn't deny this, they did have a nice ring, but she didn't understand why James had picked Harry. If anything, she thought he may have picked his father's name. James easily saw the confusion and so he explained. "Harry and Anna Lupin were killed this morning. That's why Sirius has gone home."

Lily's eyes had widened in shock. "Oh my… they're dead?" She didn't seem to be able to say anymore than that. "I… Harry is the perfect name."

James smiled. "I think so too."

"And I want to pick his middle name." It took not even a full second for Lily to think of it. "James. Harry James Potter."

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Ninety: The Eulogy**_

"Look what Mrs. Sherman sent over."

Remus looked around and saw Sirius had just entered the room, carrying a tray of what looked like his favorite biscuits. "She didn't have to do that…"

"Considering we moved out without giving her a good reason, I'm inclined to agree with you," Sirius said, setting the tray down on the coffee table. "But she insisted and asked me to tell you that she's sorry."

Remus swallowed with noticeable difficulty and nodded.


	90. The Eulogy

Chapter Ninety  
The Eulogy 

"Did you sleep at all, mate?"

Sirius had just wandered into the kitchen and saw Remus seated at the table. There was a cup of tea in front of him, but none of it had been drunk. Sirius imagined he had just made it to give himself something to do. It was then he remembered that it was Remus's mother who said that when you didn't know what to do in a bad or awkward situation, you should make tea. It was now ten in the morning and while it wasn't unusual for Remus to be up at this time, it didn't look as if he had even made it to his bed. In fact, Sirius was sure it had been perfectly made when he walked past the man's room.

"For an hour or two," Remus said, rubbing his tired eyes and taking a sip of the tea. He stood up and proceeded to dump the rest of the contents into the sink. He wasn't very thirsty and the tea had gone bad, anyway. He was determined not to think about what he had to do, that he had to bury his parents. "Lily had the baby?" When Sirius had gotten home the night before, Remus had been in his room, the door shut as he pored over the contents of his parents' wills. He really just hadn't wanted to talk and had neglected to ask about the woman.

Sirius grinned. "Yeah, a baby boy."

"Good… that's great." He really was happy for Lily and James. He could just imagine the thrill James would have raising a son. Yet he was having difficulty expressing that at the moment. "What did they name him?"

Sirius had received the owl with the name later the previous night and he couldn't help but think it was the perfect name for the boy. "Harry James Potter."

Sirius could see the miniscule widening of Remus's eyes as he took the name in. "That's… that's a nice name." He hadn't expected it, but he was happy to hear it. The names went together and the fact that they had decided to name him Harry… Remus would have to thank them for that one day.

"We should go see him at the hospital," Sirius suggested. He was going to do anything possible to make his friend happy again and he knew that, under any other circumstances, Remus would probably beat him out the door to the hospital so he could see the new addition to the Potter family. Now he would be lucky if Remus even moved towards the door. "You're not working today, right?" He knew Peter had said he'd give the man a few days off to collect himself.

"No, not for a few days." Remus finished rinsing out the cup and he set it on the counter to dry. He had a lot he needed to do, but he had to go see James and Lily. It would be disrespectful not to. "Yeah, let's go see them."

Within twenty minutes the two men were in St. Mungo's and making their way towards Lily's ward. Sirius knocked softly on the door, in case the woman or the baby, or both, was sleeping. They could hear Lily's voice from within, saying to come in. When they entered the room it was to see Lily sitting in the rocking chair by the closed window, the bundle that contained her son in her arms. Sirius had never been sure he believed the cliché about a mother's glow, but he did now because that was exactly what he thought when he saw Lily.

She was absolutely glowing as she held her son.

"Where's James?" Sirius asked, noticing the man was absent from the room.

"Oh, he had to go help with a patient who came in after a chicken spit fire at him."

"That's… not natural."

Lily chuckled good-naturedly. Sirius had a very good point. "No it isn't. A bloke hexed the chicken and they had to call someone in from the Ministry to sort it out." She looked down as Harry babbled some nonsense and cooed playfully at him. "He just woke an hour ago," she explained.

"Did he sleep alright?" Sirius asked, walking forward to get a better look at his godson. Harry did look well-rested. That had to be a good thing. Sirius remembered his own mother saying that when Regulus was a baby he cried long into the night.

Lily nodded. "He did wake up for an hour, crying, but he went back to sleep just fine. He's a good baby."

"And in the event he wakes up and cries at home, I suggest pushing James out of bed to get him to calm him down."

Lily laughed lightly. "I was thinking along the same lines." Of course, if Harry needed to be fed, James wasn't much help there. Yet if he was crying for the sake of it, James was getting his arse out of that bed. The woman brought her gaze Remus, who was standing by the door and had been quiet since he came into the room. He looked so sad that she felt her stomach clench and her heart break slightly. She nodded to the empty chair beside hers. "Come on, Remus, sit down and hold Harry."

Remus shifted where he was standing and slowly shook his head. "No… no that's okay." He didn't trust himself to hold a baby that was barely a day old, especially not when he couldn't stop himself from shaking. He doubted a baby would enjoy that.

But Lily wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. Maybe it would make him feel better, give him a good distraction. "Come on, I'll show you how to hold him. You won't break him."

There was slight panic in the man's eyes when Lily said that. That was just what he needed to do – break Lily's baby the day after he was born. Still, he knew the woman wouldn't stop asking until he did as she said, so he took the offered seat. Wasn't there a specific way he was supposed to hold his arms? There was a way he was supposed to hold the head, he knew that. Merlin, he didn't know. Women must have been born with that knowledge ingrained in their brains already. The men were left to figure it out for themselves. He wondered if James thought the same thing when he held his son.

Lily gently placed the warm weight of Harry in her friend's arms, adjusting them so they were properly holding the baby. Within a few seconds, Harry had begun to cry loudly and Remus sent a panicked look towards the woman. "He can tell you're scared, just calm down and he'll be okay."

Remus tried to relax, hoping that Lily was right and it would make Harry stop crying. He hated the sound of a baby crying, especially when he was the one causing it. Soon, however, the wailing subsided and Harry babbled contently in Remus's arms. That was a relief. If he wasn't crying he had to be happy, didn't he?

"Harry likes you," Lily said happily, her face beaming as she looked fondly at her son.

Remus looked down at the baby, who was gurgling in, what Remus supposed, was a happy manner. The little boy turned his green eyes upwards towards him and Remus suddenly had to get up. "Lily?" he said, nodding for her to take the bundle out of his arms. Lily did so and watched concernedly as her friend hurriedly left the room.

"Will he be okay?" she asked Sirius, who had also watched with the same concerned expression on his face.

Sirius shrugged. "I don't know, maybe he's just tired. He didn't sleep that much last night." Or maybe it was the fact that he was holding his father's namesake. Maybe it was because the reason James and Lily had named their son what they did was because Remus's own father was dead. "He really appreciates that you named your son after his dad. He just needs to be on his own right now." Remus would tell them that himself one day, but Sirius was sure it wouldn't be for a while.

* * *

His parents wanted a Muggle funeral, like his grandparents had had. That meant Remus had to find the old church his grandparents were buried in and talk to whoever worked there. Sweet Merlin, he knew nothing about these kinds of things. He had been thirteen when his grandparents died; his parents had made all of those arrangements. Remus had been trying to process the concept of death back then; he hadn't paid attention in the slightest. He thought his mother may have left some sort of instructions about it, but she didn't. He knew he had to get this done soon. Their bodies were being held at St. Mungo's and they couldn't stay there much longer.

Remus walked around the cabin he had once called his home, _still_ called home. He had finally finished packing up all their belongings and had to find a good charity to donate them to. His parents had instructed him to keep certain things – belongings that had been in the family for ages and things they specifically wanted him to have. As for everything else, they told him to donate it. There was no one they wanted to give them to. He had found some of his old baby clothes, shocked that his parents had even bothered keeping them. Those would go to Lily and James for Harry. They already had more clothes than Harry could possibly need, but what could some extras hurt?

Babies did vomit a lot.

The house was either to be left to him or to be sold. At the moment, Remus was greatly leaning towards selling it. He didn't imagine he would ever want to live here without his parents being around. It just wouldn't be right. This was the home they had built ever since they were married. There was so much work put into it, so many memories within it. While it would seem wrong to turn those over to complete strangers, it would be even worse to have all those things surrounding him when he was doing his best to block them out. He supposed he would just have to get used to the idea of another family living here.

He couldn't deal with that right now. He would sell it eventually. He wasn't sure he would be able to make the place sound appealing to anyone with the way he felt right now. Any potential buyers would think he was a bloody nutter. It made sense though, as that was how he felt. _How_ could they be dead? Remus knew it was natural for a child to outlive his parents; it was the natural course of life. But they were so young, _he_ was so young. He still needed them. He didn't want to depend on them for anything material, but for those situations where only parents were the ones who could help, he needed them for that.

When he was in St. Mungo's, he was happy his friends were there for him, he would never say that he wasn't. But his father was the one who had meant the most. The fact that he had hurried over the second he found out and stayed the night with him - that was what meant more to him than anyone ever knew. He had never even told his father that. He had died before he could. Remus was still numb from it. He could still hear Moody's words as he delivered the news. Even Moody didn't seem to be able to believe it. Remus just wanted to know _why_ they had to be killed. They shouldn't have had to be.

There was a small part of him, he was scared to admit it, but there was a smart part of him that believed _he_ was the reason they'd been murdered. He was a part of the Order of the Phoenix and one of the Death Eaters' best methods of torture was to pick off the people the members of the Order cared about the most. A person's parents were one of the best targets. Remus hadn't voiced this idea to anyone, as he knew they would tell him that wasn't the reason, that Harry's own involvement in the Order had endangered himself and his wife. Remus didn't want to believe that; he didn't want to believe his father had brought his and his wife's death upon them.

Maybe that was why he blamed himself.

He shouldn't, he knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help it. He knew he should blame the people who had actually killed his parents, those miserable Death Eaters, yet he couldn't help but think he shared a large amount of the blame. He was a known member of the Order of the Phoenix and they seemed to have it out for him lately. He shook his head; he needed to get out of this place. He wasn't doing anything to help himself by staying here. If anything, he was making himself worse by surrounding himself with things he wasn't ready to confront. He still had so many things to do, first and foremost was writing a eulogy for the funeral. He felt very much like Sirius had when he was trying to write his best man speech – utterly at a complete lose for words.

The biggest different was that Sirius was writing something for a happy occasion and Remus was writing this for a funeral. His _parents'_ funeral.

It was the next day that Remus found himself in his best, and only, suit, looking in the mirror in the living room. His face was paler that it had ever been, adding to the already sick aura about him. The funeral was in an hour and he just wanted it to be over with. He knew it wouldn't technically be over, that the pain he'd felt over the past few days wouldn't just go away because his parents had been buried, but he could stop putting on an act for everyone. He could grieve in private. He was just grateful that Sirius hadn't tried to push him into going out and getting over it. Sirius understood that when he was sitting alone in a room, he wasn't going to do anything stupid. He just needed to be on his own. James, Lily and Peter hadn't tried to do that either and Remus was more grateful than they would ever know.

"Look what Mrs. Sherman sent over."

Remus looked around and saw Sirius had just entered the room, carrying a tray of what looked like his favourite biscuits. "She didn't have to do that…"

"Considering we moved out without giving her a good reason, I'm inclined to agree with you," Sirius said, setting the tray down on the coffee table. "But she insisted and asked me to tell you that she's sorry."

Remus swallowed with noticeable difficulty and nodded.

Sirius nodded towards the tray. "You should really eat something." He hadn't seen his friend eat anything yet that day and Remus was usually the one who complained when he didn't have breakfast. Of course, the complaining part came mostly from the fact that Sirius had usually finished any breakfast item in the house…

"I will later," Remus said, straightening his tie before shoving his hands in his pockets and crossing towards the open front door to look out onto the street. It was so bloody nice out. It was too nice out to lay his parents to rest.

"Look, it'll all be over soon," Sirius tried to assure him. "We all know you want to be by yourself, but you know you've got to do what your parents wanted. Just try and focus on the fact that it'll be over soon."

"I know," Remus said shortly, pushing the front door open and walking out after muttering something about getting to the church early.

Sirius stayed where he was for a long time before deciding he should leave as well. He knew everything was steadily building up inside of his friend. Remus wasn't allowing himself to grieve. He wasn't allowing himself to just give in and admit he was upset. Hopefully once the funeral was over that would happen. There was only so much a person could take before it became too much to handle.

* * *

"Hey, mate," James said when he spotted Remus standing outside of the church. James had just arrived and instantly looked around for the man, spotting him leaning against the metal railing on the stairs. "I'm really sorry. You know Dumbledore's doing everything he can to try and find the mutants that did this."

Remus nodded mutely. He knew the Headmaster was doing just that, but he just didn't want to think about it. He knew what the outcome would be, anyway. Dumbledore would find them because it was impossible to find people who didn't want to be found.

"Lily wanted to come and pay her respects, but she doesn't want to bring the baby so close to so many people at once."

"Yeah, I know, tell her it's alright." Remus didn't blame the woman. Too many people so close to a newborn baby was just asking for trouble.

"She's going to come see you in a few days." When James saw Remus wasn't up for much conversation, he gently clapped him on the shoulder and moved into the church. It was disgusting that this had to happen. He hated thinking two people like Harry and Anna had to be murdered. At least with his own parents, they had been allowed to die on their own terms. No one had forced the life out of them. He hoped the Death Eaters were caught, but he doubted it would happen. There were no witnesses to the murder and no evidence had been left behind. Dumbledore and Moody had closely inspected the place after the attack and had found nothing helpful.

There was a handful of people inside the church, the members of the Order, some of Harry's colleagues from the _Prophet_, and a small group of Anna's friends. There was not a single face in there that didn't appear devastated or at least saddened by the event. James caught the eye of Sirius, who was quietly talking to Peter in one of the pews. The two men hastily got up and went to meet him. They would be helping carrying the caskets in, along with some of the men in the Order. When time came for that, it seemed unreal. James glanced at Remus, who was in front of him as they carried the casket containing his father. His face was obscured, but James knew he wasn't faring well, judging by the movement of his shoulders that James knew didn't mean he was tired from carrying the weight.

He was breathing hard for an entirely different reason.

It wasn't long before Remus had to deliver the eulogy and he had absolutely nothing to say, nothing that he had written down, anyway. He couldn't be like Sirius and wing it, but he knew he had to try. They were his parents and he loved them more than anyone. It shouldn't be hard to talk about them, especially considering that everyone in this room loved and respected them. He wasn't sure he could do it. He shakily stood up and crossed to the podium. He stared at the congregation for some time before clearing his throat with difficulty.

"I… you all know my parents… and I…" He couldn't do this. The words were getting stuck in his throat and he felt like he was going to be sick. His stomach was churning painfully. They were all looking at him, waiting for him to say something. His parents' bodies were just feet away from him. He couldn't do it. He needed air. He had to breathe. "I can't do this." Before anyone knew what had happened, he had fled from the church.

Sirius exchanged a significant glance with James and Peter, who both nodded and Sirius got up at once. When Sirius left the building he spotted his friend out of the grass, near a tree whose trunk Remus had just kicked violently. Sirius had never seen him like this before. Even when his grandparents had died he was able to maintain some amount of composure, but this was completely different. He had never been close with his grandparents, not until the last two years of their lives. These were his parents, the people who stayed by his side throughout everything. When he became a werewolf, they didn't abandon him; they did everything they could to make life easy for him. Now life had dealt them the worst finish possible and Sirius didn't think their son would ever be okay about it.

Remus turned when he heard footsteps approaching him and Sirius saw that he hurried to compose himself and only managed a little. He noisily cleared his throat. "I… I shouldn't have run out like that."

"Dumbledore's taken over," Sirius explained. "Everyone's worried about you."

"They shouldn't be," Remus went on dismissively, looking away from his friend and out towards the street ahead. There was nothing of interest there, but he didn't want anyone to see him. "I'm fine."

Sirius couldn't keep the harsh laugh from coming out. "You're fine?" he repeated incredulously. "Remus, have you seen yourself lately?"

He wasn't fine. He was as far away from that as humanly possible. Sirius knew he didn't want to believe that his parents were dead. He knew there was a part of Remus that was blaming himself for it and Sirius hated that. This was one of his best friends and he didn't want him beating himself up for something he couldn't have prevented. It wasn't right. Harry and Anna shouldn't have been killed, but they were. Nothing in this world was going as planned and this just added to it.

"Sirius, I can handle it."

Sirius gritted his teeth and heard the volume of his voice rise dangerously. "Like hell, you can! Your parents just _died_, Remus. They were killed. That's not something a person can handle!"

"I can," Remus insisted through gritted teeth.

"Why are you doing this to yourself? Stop blaming yourself for something that isn't your fault!" Remus didn't even bother to wonder how Sirius knew he was doing that. He supposed after being friends with someone for so long, there were just things you knew instantly. "They're your parents and they wouldn't want you to do this to yourself."

"I'm not doing anything to myself." There was a noticeable break in Remus's voice, one Sirius had never heard before and it reminded him of what he had been thinking the day Harry had been born, the day Harry and Anna had been killed.

"Why aren't you letting yourself be sad?"

"What do you mean? Of course I am." But he wasn't and he knew it. He was hoping he would be able to after the funeral was over. He _was_ sad, yet he was putting on this act for everyone else. He just wanted to curl up in a ball and hide for a while, but he wasn't being allowed to.

"I've known you for nearly ten years and I've never seen you cry. When your grandparents died, you were sad, no one could deny it, but that was it. When the Potters died, Merlin even _I_ shed tears, but you… I don't know, you just didn't."

Remus kept his back facing Sirius as he continued to stare determinedly at the street. Sirius was right. He hadn't cried since he was a child; he had given up on it a long time ago. It did nothing to help situations and, with everything he went through as a kid, he just couldn't bring himself to. It was something that had stuck with him throughout his teenage years and was following him into adulthood. He wasn't unfeeling, but he just couldn't show that particular form of emotion.

"You know I'm right," Sirius insisted forcibly. "Why can't you just forget what anyone may think, what _you_ may think and just let go?" Sirius's voice was increasing with every word he spoke. He didn't care, though. He needed to get this through the man's head. "You're not doing yourself any good keeping it in. Why can't you just-"

"I can't, Sirius!" Remus finally shouted, fed up with everything. He had torn his gaze away from the street and brought it to his friend. Sirius could see the pain was there and how much Remus tried to keep it in.

"Why can't you?"

"Because… I gave up on it when I was a kid. When you're bitten by a werewolf and realise you have to go through hell every month for the rest of your life, it's not something that helps you get through it. When any friend you had as a kid abandons you when they find out there's something funny about you, it's not going to bring them back. Crying is not going to bring my parents back, it won't help them."

"It'll help you."

"No, I'm not going to."

"Why the bloody hell not?"

"Because if I do, I don't know if I'll stop." That was the truth. If he began to cry, he wouldn't stop. The shaking in his knees finally brought him to the ground where he planted his forehead in his hands, staring at the grass.

Sirius took a deep breath and sat down in front of the man, who had, for the first time, looked more like a child than he ever had. Sirius doubted the man had ever, mentally, been a child. "No one said you had to stop."

And that was when Remus finally broke. He gave up caring if it helped bring things back or not. He just let himself cry. Sirius pulled his friend into his chest and waited until his sobs subsided, while tears of his own slid down his nose.

Somewhere with that, Remus's parents knew just how much their son loved them, just how hard for him this was and just how much he missed them.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Ninety One: Making Some Changes**_

"You just want to give him to me because he sounds like he's about to spit up," Lily deduced with narrowed eyes.

"Hey, I work in a hospital, I need to be clean."

"That's a rubbish excuse, James." Lily did, however, sit down and relieve her husband of their son. She gently rested Harry's stomach against her shoulder and lightly patted his back. When Harry let out a tiny burp, James couldn't help but laugh.

"That, Harry, is how you will repel girls. Unless you find one who's really cool and doesn't mind when you burp."


	91. Making Some Changes

Chapter Ninety One  
Making Some Changes

"It has come to my attention that Voldemort has decided to incorporate help of what he considers to be Dark creatures."

There was a quiet murmur amongst the people assembled in the room. This didn't come as a total surprise. It was only a matter of time before Voldemort moved towards those he could easily manipulate. Dark creatures felt as though they were mistreated and many were in most cases. The werewolves got the shaft from the Wizarding world the first chance possible. Vampires wouldn't exactly jump at the chance to side with the Ministry. It made perfect sense they would side with Voldemort if extended the opportunity.

This only meant trouble for the Order.

"He has yet to make this attempt, but our source can confirm he had mentioned it with complete seriousness." No one had to ask who Dumbledore's source was. While no one was ready to trust Snape yet, he had proved able to provide useful information. This was just another piece that may help them defeat their enemy. If anything, it would cut off any potential allies he could make.

The only question was: How exactly would they go about this?

They trusted Dumbledore to have a plan up his sleeve, he _always_ had a plan, but he made no mention of one and he broke the meeting up without another word on the subject. This was extremely curious, but no one said anything about it. Dumbledore would know what to do and when he was ready to make a decision, certainly he would tell the rest of the Order. They had to be ready to respond if they had to.

James, Sirius, Remus and Frank Longbottom sat around the dining table in Sturgis Podmore's home. Lily was home with Harry, who had been exceptionally cranky the night before and she was doing everything possible to change that. Alice was also home with the Longbottoms' infant son, Neville. According to Frank, the baby was a crier and they had had a total of ten hours of sleep since the baby was born. Well, Frank had a few more hours under his belt than his wife did. If Neville needed to be fed, Frank could just continue to sleep, pretending to be blissfully unaware of anything.

"Did Peter say he was coming?" Sirius asked Remus.

Remus shrugged, sitting up straighter in his seat. "Dunno. He was still at work when I left, maybe he'll show up soon?"

"What would the point of that be?" James asked. "The meeting's basically over."

"I don't know," Remus repeated, with a bit of a snap in his voice. He stood up and pushed his chair in. "I need some air." And he made his way towards the door.

"How's he been?" James asked Sirius concernedly. Sirius saw him the most out of any of them and would know the best.

"He's getting better, not there yet though."

Outside of Sturgis's home, Remus sat on the porch bench, his eyes shut as he listened to the night around him. It was warm, a drastic change from the usual cold provided by the continuously breeding Dementors. It had been weeks since his parents had died and, while he was feeling a lot better than he had when it first happened, he still wasn't there yet. He hoped it would be soon, but he didn't think it would be. So he immersed himself into his work, did anything to keep his mind from dwelling too closely to his parents and what they must have endured before they died.

"Remus."

Remus's eyes snapped open and he looked around and was startled to see Professor Dumbledore had stepped outside as well. The older man took a seat on the bench beside the young man and serenely looked out at the starry sky. "A rare sight, these days, the stars." He sounded so calm and Remus wondered how that was possible during times like these. Merlin knew he hadn't felt remotely calm since this war started, since he joined the Order. He would never regret that decision, but he sometimes found himself wondering if the Order would ever win this fight.

"Voldemort is very interested in the werewolves," Dumbledore went on, bringing his gaze away from the night sky and focusing it on the man sitting beside him.

Remus nodded; he had expected this much. It explained why Dumbledore had followed him outside. Who else better to talk about werewolves than the Order's resident werewolf?

Dumbledore went on with a hesitancy that Remus had never heard before. "I do not like to ask this of you so soon after your parents' deaths, yet I do not see another option. We need a spy."

Remus looked up at the older man. They needed a spy for the werewolves so they may as well ask their werewolf. His voice was resigned. "What would I have to do?" He didn't have the heart to disagree, to tell Dumbledore he didn't want to do it. The man had done so much for him; he had given him the chance to become someone. Who was he to turn his back on the Headmaster when he asked for something in return?

"You would not have to infiltrate their ranks unless it became necessary," Dumbledore explained, wanting to express this point before any other. He would not send someone so young straight into the werewolf's den, especially when that someone had been raised as a wizard and not shunned as a werewolf. Remus wouldn't know how to interact with him and until it became vital to the mission, he would merely be an observer. As an observer, he would be able to learn their ways and discover what Voldemort had planned for them. He would report back to Dumbledore.

"So… I would just watch them?" Remus did not allow himself to get his hopes up too easily. Observing was better than infiltrating.

Dumbledore nodded. "No one will know what you're doing so your cover cannot be revealed accidentally."

Remus was quiet for a moment, considering the man's words. "I wouldn't be able to tell my friends where I'm disappearing to?"

Dumbledore knew how hard this would be for Remus. His friends meant everything to him, now more than ever. Yet Dumbledore also appreciated that Remus seemed to understand this right away. "No, you will not. It is better for all involved if you and I are the only ones who are aware of the situation."

Ideally, that should work, yet Remus had a feeling the complications that would inevitably arise would only get him in the end. Yet who was he to deny Dumbledore this? "What about Sirius? He's definitely going to notice when I don't come home." And, knowing Sirius, he would ultimately think he'd been murdered or attacked again. If it was the latter, Merlin knew he would send out a bloody search team for him.

"Your living situation will need to be changed." Dumbledore couldn't believe he was asking someone to do this – to uproot his own life for his own needs. He saw no other option. As much as he saw Remus as a wizard and not the creature he became every month, this was one situation where he felt he could be forgiven for thinking that way.

"And my job?" Remus had a strong suspicion this would become a full time mission and that he wouldn't be around for long stretches of time. He couldn't very well leave Peter alone at the store, though.

"I am already looking for your replacement."

Remus exhaled slowly through his teeth. He had been looking for distractions and what better way than to risk your neck by spying on werewolves that would smell wizard in a second? If he blew his cover, he would be dead before anyone knew what happened. That was why he wouldn't do that; he would keep himself hidden at all costs. He was sure that, after living in the wild, the werewolves' sense would be better than his ever would be, but he had to help the Order. He had signed up to help protect the Wizarding race and he would do what he had to.

If that meant finding those he tried so hard not to become, he would just have to do it.

* * *

Sirius sat on the couch in the flat, watching as his soon to be ex-roommate carried the few boxes of his belongings into the room while he prepared to leave. Sirius couldn't believe this, he really couldn't. It had been the morning after the Order meeting in which Dumbledore announced Voldemort was looking towards the Dark creatures that Remus announced he was moving out. He wouldn't say where he was going; just that Sirius didn't have to worry. He would be fine on his own; he _needed_ to be on his own.

If he was honest with himself, Sirius couldn't blame the man. He had been through hell recently and he was probably just trying to cope with what he'd lost.

Then Peter came by to ask why he was quitting his job and Remus barely had a sufficient excuse. It wasn't as though he could simply say that he had gotten a better one somewhere else. Merlin knew the job he had at Peter's store would be the best job he would ever have. No one in the right mind would hire a werewolf. The excuse Remus gave was a lame one and he knew it – that he needed to make some changes in his life to help himself get through his grief. It was such a blatant lie that he was half expecting Peter to hex him on the spot for being such a prat. Remus wouldn't have held it against him.

Sirius couldn't help but think something big was happening. What that was, he didn't know and he knew Remus was not going to tell him what it was. Sirius had a suspicion Dumbledore's news about the Dark creatures had possibly badly unnerved the man. Was it so bad that he would leave? Anyway, wouldn't it be better to be among friends? Sirius had thought that, after the man's breakdown at the church, he would realise that. Still, nothing Sirius said did anything to change the man's mind. Remus was set and his mind would not be changed.

There was a knock at the door and within moments, James, Lily and Harry were inside the flat. James and Lily saw two boxes set on the floor and turned to Sirius with knowing looks. "He's really leaving?" James asked quietly.

Sirius nodded. "He won't say why, just that it's something he has to do. Hell, he won't even say where he's going."

"Maybe you've just got to let him do this," Lily suggested as she gently rocked Harry in her arms. "He's been through a lot lately, if he needs to do something to help himself, you should just accept it."

"And you're saying you're happy about him disappearing to Merlin knows where?" Sirius narrowed his eyes dubiously at the woman. Sirius doubted she would be, she treated him as a second child, even if he was just two months younger than she was.

"No, I'm not," Lily admitted. "But we can't stop him."

It wasn't long before Remus reentered the room with the last of his boxes. He seemed surprised to see the Potters standing in the room, but he shrugged it off and set the box down. He should have known Sirius would have told them he was leaving. "That's the last of it," he said uncomfortably. He had been hoping to just get out of here, to not have to bother with the goodbyes. He didn't have it in him. Now that Lily, James and Harry were here, he knew he was going to have to. He wouldn't be surprised, or maybe he would be, if Peter suddenly appeared. The man was at work though and he wasn't exactly keen on speaking to his former employee, at any rate.

"So you're going to go, then?" Sirius asked unnecessarily.

"Yeah, I should just get going." Merlin, he felt like the worst friend imaginable. He felt as though he was abandoning them all when, really, he was just trying to help. He was doing the same they were – he was trying to make a better world for people to live in and, unfortunately, it meant giving up everything that meant the most to him. This home, his job and his friends. "It's not like you'll never see me again," he tried to assure them, though he wondered what the validity behind those words was. "I'll still be around." Just not nearly as often as he would like. "Just… just wait for me to contact you, alright?" Dumbledore had been very specific about that. If any contact was to be made with anyone, he had to be the one to initiate it so he wouldn't be revealed.

"You're going to be okay?" James asked him concernedly.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. First chance I get, I'll let you know how I am." He had no idea when that would be, but it was the best assurance he could offer them. He knew it wasn't nearly enough, but it was all he had.

"Do you need help moving your stuff?" Sirius asked.

"No, I'm just going to go." He felt like he betrayed them all. After everything they had done for him, he felt like a bloody traitor. He felt as if he was a terrible person, even though he knew he was just doing what had to be done. He couldn't help it. He didn't want to leave. He didn't want to walk straight into potential death, but it was something he had long ago accepted. Who knew if he would ever see any of them again? He could die out in the wilderness and it would be ages before they found out. But he was a spy now; this was the risk he had taken.

Looking between the four people assembled in the living room, he merely settled for nodding and saying, "I guess I'll see you around."

* * *

He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to be surrounded by memories of what was now gone. He had had every intention of selling his parents' home, even if he would find it strange to see someone else live here. It would be strange. He had grown up in this house and to hand it over to someone else, it was bizarre. Yet he was not going to have to do that. He didn't want to keep it, but Dumbledore had said it would be the perfect place to go. Remus already owned it and his friends were well aware of his unwillingness to return. They wouldn't come looking for him here. He still didn't want to be here. He supposed the only consolation was that he wouldn't be in this cabin long. He would be disappearing into the wilderness until Dumbledore called him back.

Funny that he would rather spy on a group of werewolves than live in his parents' home. He didn't know why he thought half of what he did these days.

Remus didn't even bother unpacking. He had merely gone through the charade for the sake of his friend. If Remus left without taking any of his belongings, it would look even more suspicious than it already did. Sirius was bound to question it. As it was, Remus wouldn't be here for more than an hour or two. Dumbledore was coming by to tell him exactly what he needed to know and where he needed to go and Remus would be gone. So he was just going to bear it while he could and forget that his mum and dad wouldn't be coming upstairs into his old bedroom at any moment.

It was odd to see it without all of his pictures covering the wall, his gramophone missing from the dresser. His records were no longer strewn all about the place. It looked far too clean to have once belonged to him. The piano was still downstairs, yet Remus would never play it again. He would just think of his mother, who had gotten it for him as a way to release his anger. He was going to have to sell it eventually, or just leave it there to gather dust. Yet it seemed a shame for it to never be used again. He had loved it as a kid; he may as well give it to another who would love it just the same.

Descending the stairs into the living room, he couldn't help but be reminded of Christmas during his second year, when Sirius had come over. He laughed one of his first genuine laughs in weeks as he thought about the way his friend had picked on him, and how his mother had only added to it by mentioning that he could sing. Then there was trying to teach Sirius how to play the instrument. Remus didn't think there was a person with enough patience to accomplish that feat. But it had been fun. It had been simple. Life had been so bloody _simple _back then and he missed it.

It had been years since anything had been that simple and it was all because of Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters. If they weren't around, he and his friends would be able to live the lives they should have had when they graduated. Mr. Pettigrew would still be alive if there was no such thing as Death Eaters. Hell, Remus's own parents would still be alive if there was no war. But life never went as anyone ever planned it and they had all learned this the hard way. They learned it through death, fighting and destruction.

It wasn't long before there was a tap on the front door and Remus went to answer it. Dumbledore seemed so out of place in this setting. Dumbledore was a grand and powerful wizard and he was standing in the humblest of homes. It was practically absurd. Remus stepped aside to let the man come further in and locked the door behind him. Merlin, this was really happening. He was really leaving. Dumbledore was here to give him his instructions and he would be off with no idea of when he was coming home. He had no idea when he would see his friends again.

This was for the Order, he knew it. It didn't mean he wasn't terrified out of his mind. He was predominantly a wizard. These people he was about to observe – they were predominantly werewolves. They lived in the wild. They thrived off the wilderness and he barely knew how to function in it. Give him a city and he would be find, put him into the woods and he was be lost. How was he supposed to eat? Well, it was as good a time as any to hone in on his survival skills. He had no choice if he wanted to live out there. Technically, though, he didn't _want_ to live out there. There was just no other way around it.

Taking a deep, resigned breath, he brought his attention to Professor Dumbledore. "What do I have to do?"

* * *

It felt good to be wanted. Peter knew that much. It felt good to be appreciated for the things he did, unlike when he had given his allegiance to the Order of the Phoenix. They didn't give a damn about the things he did. Here, with the Death Eaters, they seemed to appreciate the things he did for them. Considering he may have just revealed the information Voldemort would need to succeed, he had just about done the most loyal thing any of them could have done. There was a prophecy, Peter knew only a little of it. Severus Snape had delivered that piece of information, but the fool hadn't heard all of it. He didn't even offer to ensure that he would provide the information of whose child it was.

There were two children born to two couples that had defied the Dark Lord three times – Harry Potter and Neville Longbottom.

One of those babies was destined to die. The night James and Lily's son had been born; Peter had wasted no time in hurrying to the Dark Lord with the information. This would be his greatest accomplishment yet – the power to end this war. He should have felt guilty about what he had done, yet he didn't feel so. What had his so-called friends done for him lately? Nothing - that was what. They were all too wrapped up in their own lives. James and Lily barely surfaced out of their flat, spending all their time with the baby. Sirius was a bloody useless friend to begin with and Remus had up and quit his job at the store with no good reason and vanishing into thin air. Needing to make changes in his life, that was bollocks and Peter was disgusted that he had not pointed it out to the man.

Now that he had offered this valuable information to the Dark Lord - that the Potters' son had indeed been born at the very end of July - Peter would be revered as the greatest Death Eater to exist. Finally he achieved something. He was no longer in the shadow of his friends, taking a back seat to their glory. All through Hogwarts he had been second best. Not even second best, he was fourth best and he would not stand for it any longer. He wasn't going to hide in the shadows while the others got the fame. He wanted some of it for himself and he would _not_ be denied.

Now he had another piece of information. The Dark Lord had to find the Potters and Peter knew exactly where they could be found. Their tiny little cottage outside of London, they thought it was safe. It wasn't about to be safe for much longer. Not once Peter divulged this very important bit of information.

It was odd, to be alone in the Dark Lord's presence. Peter couldn't deny he was highly intimidated by the man and the presence of the other Death Eaters eased his nerves slightly. Yet they were not here and would not be for some time. Peter wanted the glory, but he did not want to appear as if he was showing off by announcing it in front of his colleagues. The Dark Lord would appreciate his efforts and that was what mattered. He didn't need everyone else to know. As long as the Dark Lord knew, that was sufficient enough.

"What information do you have for me, Pettigrew?"

Merlin, the man's icy, indifferent voice still sent chills up Peter's spine. But he squared his shoulders and tried to appear confident. "My Lord… the Potters, you wish to know where they live, don't you?"

"Of course I do. They have something that is invaluable to me and the future of the entire Wizarding race. I would like very much to know where they live."

The grin that crossed Peter's face was one that had never appeared there before. It was one of a man who truly did not care for his old friends any longer.

* * *

"Now, Harry, the key to annoying Mum is to talk, a lot. She hates it when people talk more than necessary, so when you're old enough, make sure you do that. It'll be funny. You'll get to see her face get redder than her hair and sometimes, if you're lucky, steam will come out of her ears!"

"James, _what_ are you doing?"

"Just teaching our son some important life lessons."

"Like how to annoy his mother?"

"Those are the most important, I think." James chuckled as Lily sent him a withering stare that would make any other man cower. James was sitting on the porch of their home, cradling Harry in his arms. He had been teaching his son some of the facts of life, such as annoying his mother and how to torment Slytherins, so he had not noticed his wife appear. "Would you like our son?" James asked, nodding towards the gurgling child in his arms.

"You just want to give him to me because he sounds like he's about to spit up," Lily deduced with narrowed eyes.

"Hey, I work in a hospital, I need to be clean."

"That's a rubbish excuse, James." Lily did, however, sit down and relieve her husband of their son. She gently rested Harry's stomach against her shoulder and lightly patted his back. When Harry let out a tiny burp, James couldn't help but laugh.

"That, Harry, is how you will repel girls. Unless you find one who's really cool and doesn't mind when you burp."

Lily rolled her eyes, shaking her head at her husband, though she couldn't keep the tiny grin from appearing. "Don't worry," she said to her son. "Your father isn't usually this ridiculous. He actually _does_ have a brain somewhere in there."

"And your mother does have a heart, despite what the studies say."

Lily stood up and carried the baby inside. James didn't follow them in, letting Lily have some alone time with her son. Instead he looked out at the country stretching before him. Merlin, so many things had changed. He was a father. James had always wanted to be a father, but he had never pictured himself as one at twenty. Yet he was happy, beyond happy, in fact. Despite all the horrible things that happened – the Lupins dying, his own parents dying, the people scurrying to protect themselves, all of his Order and hospital work – James was happy. He loved his son, he loved his wife. What was better than that? Maybe his life had been uprooted in many ways, but it was also good in more ways than he knew.

And that was when he saw the figures appearing across the field.

Damn it.

"Lily!" James ran into the house and spotted his wife just getting ready to feed the baby. She looked surprised when she saw her husband's frantic face. "We're out of here!"

"James, what's going on?"

"No time to explain, don't bring anything, we're going to Sirius's."

* * *

The wilderness was exactly as Remus imagined.

A lot of trees, it was disgustingly warm from the summer heat. He supposed he was as prepared as he would ever be. Dumbledore had given him the coordinates to Apparate to. He had been given nothing more than a knapsack of what food he might need before he had to fend for himself. He was allowed his wand, but no change of clothes. Dumbledore wasn't able to tell him when he might be able to come home and Remus wasn't going to keep asking. He basically understood that he was only to return if he was in any danger and had to Apparate out of there before things got out of hand.

Merlin, he was scared. The werewolves were adept to these surroundings and Remus had no experience at all. He may as well be a first year in Hogwarts again. He was a first year and this forest was the castle. What he wouldn't give to actually _be _a first year again. Life's biggest problem back then had been a professor who hated his guts. Life had been easy back then. He had been sufficiently happy back then and, right now, he would give anything to feel that again. Yet here he was, in the middle of the woods and about to encounter the werewolves most of the Wizarding society thought he should be. But he wasn't going to become one of them.

He was an outsider. He would always be an outsider.

With that thought in mind, Remus set off to find the pack and prayed the Merlin he would live to see his friends again. Most of all, he prayed to live to see the end of this war.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Ninety Two: Distance**_

"What is this, Sirius?" Lily asked curiously when she opened up the present Sirius had bought for Harry.

"It's a stuffed dog, Lily," Sirius said. It was a large, black dog, though the face was slightly smushed from being crushed under of the Harry's other presents.

"It looks exactly like you in your Animagus form," James pointed out with a laugh.

"That was the intention, mate. The kid needs to know just how awesome his godfather is, doesn't he."

James shook his head, though he couldn't keep from laughing. Lily set the stuffed dog down and Harry stared at it with mild interest before turning his attention away from it, as though he was already bored with it.


	92. Distance

Chapter Ninety Two  
Distance

This was surreal. It couldn't have happened. There was no way the Death Eaters had known where to find them. Yet they had known and they had come and it was just lucky James had spotted them before it was too late. He was frightened to think of what would have happened if he _hadn't _spotted them. They were lucky they were able to Apparate into Sirius's home. Some of the Order had been sent immediately to the Potters' home to fend off the Death Eaters before they destroyed everything. Unfortunately most of their kitchen was smashed apart, as well as a good part of the living room.

Fortunately the Order had shown up before anything else could be damaged.

James and Lily, along with Harry, had taken up residence in Remus's old bedroom until they were able to go back home and collect their belongings. Dumbledore had made it clear they were forbidden to remain there for longer than that. They were going to have to find another home. How had the Death Eaters found them? They were so far removed from society, only the Order knew where to find them. No one else did. Well, James may have mentioned their residence to someone at work, there was always the chance he had said it offhandedly. That could have been the reason.

Though they both hated to think one of his coworkers would do him in like that. Besides, they were the only ones who knew about the prophecy aside from Frank and Alice and neither of them would do that. Merlin, Frank and Alice were lucky. Or were they? Was Voldemort going after them as well? Was he trying to kill _their_ son? Was Neville in just as much danger as Harry was? They hoped he wasn't. They were children, babies, they shouldn't have had to go through this. They were months old and someone was already trying to snatch their lives before they had had a chance to live them.

Their parents had signed up for the Order, not them.

"Hey," Sirius said when he walked into the living room and saw James, Lily and their son were already in there. James was speaking quietly to his wife and he only looked up when he heard Sirius's voice.

"Hi," James greeted tiredly. "We were just saying that Dumbledore's found a new place for us."

"Is this one safe?" Sirius asked with a raised eyebrow. They could have been killed if James hadn't seen the Death Eaters coming. Sirius would be damned if there was a repeat occurrence.

"We think so," Lily said, nodding. She _hoped_ so, anyhow. "We're not telling anyone other than you, Peter and Remus, when he contacts us, where we are. Dumbledore will know as well, of course."

Sirius still looked doubtful, but he nodded. He supposed that if their location was safe with anyone, it was with those they had just named. He couldn't imagine any of them divulging the information if they were told not to, even to people they thought they could trust. Sirius knew _he_ would take the information to his grave if it came to it.

James stood up. "We're going to start bringing our stuff there, what the Death Eaters haven't gotten, I mean."

"I haven't got anywhere to go today," Sirius told them. "Auror training isn't until tomorrow, so I'll watch Harry for you."

Lily smiled grateful. 'Thank you. We won't be very long." Lily carefully placed Harry in his godfather's arms and she and James left to return to their home.

Sirius looked down at the innocent baby in his arms, whose brilliant green eyes were watching him curiously. "You know, the world isn't always so crazy," he told the infant as he took a seat on the couch. "You may find this hard to believe, but there was a time when our worst problem was getting rid of a crazy professor. You'll thank us for that when you get to Hogwarts." He doubted Harry would have taken to Professor Crane at all; the man was a bloody menace to society. Merlin, what Sirius wouldn't give to go back to that time. Eleven and innocent, it was a nice time.

"So, you want to watch me clean the kitchen?" Without wasting a second, Sirius brought the baby into the kitchen and set up a sort of makeshift bed for the boy with a pillow he had taken from Remus's old bedroom. Once he was sure the baby was settled, and safe, there, Sirius pulled out his wand and thought for a long time. He drew a blank. "Merlin, Moony was the one who usually did the cleaning."

He had forgotten all the spells.

* * *

Remus didn't think it was possible to feel so cold for the end of August, but there he was. He was freezing and all he had was his threadbare cloak to keep him warm. He couldn't light a fire and spells only helped so much. He was just grateful that he was walking continuously until he found the pack of werewolves. Dumbledore had given him a position to Apparate to that was far enough away that they didn't detect his presence immediately upon his arrived. He had yet to find them, but he had a feeling he was getting close. He didn't know why, but that was what his gut was telling him.

He just wanted this over and done with. He wanted to find out what he had to find out and get home. He'd been gone for not even three days and he missed home terribly. He wanted to wake up in his bed in the flat he had shared with Sirius, not wake up in the middle of the forest. He wanted to see his friends, wanted to show them that he hadn't abandoned them. Yet he couldn't do that. He couldn't contact them yet. He couldn't risk being found before he found out the necessary information. If he was, it would jeopardize the entire operation and it would be entirely his fault. He didn't want to live with that.

Remus paused and leaned against the nearest tree trunk, shutting his eyes and rubbing them. He was tired. He didn't think he had slept properly in weeks. When his parents died, he may have gotten one or two hours of sleep on the nights following. Now he was afraid of sleeping. He was afraid that if he lay down for even a few minutes, something would find him and kill him. If the werewolves found him out here, who knew what they would do to him? He was glad just thankful that he didn't actually have to consort with him.

Any werewolf shunned by society would smell wizard on him in a second. They would clearly recognise that he had been living amongst wizards for his entire life, that he hadn't gotten the shaft as they had and wouldn't understand the lives they led. Merlin knew they wouldn't take kindly to that. He hated to think of what they might do to him. They would probably force him to live under their laws, never go back to London, and strip him of his wand. He didn't want that to happen. He wanted to see his friends again. He wanted his life to go back to normal.

Of course, when had his life _ever_ been normal?

He was a bloody werewolf, for Merlin's sake! He had never been normal. Ever since the age of three he had been completely and utterly _ab_normal. He was definitely the most abnormal student to ever attend Hogwarts, definitely the farthest from normal amongst the Order of the Phoenix. Hell, he was even the most abnormal werewolf because he had attempted to live amongst wizards for his entire life. He had his parents to thank for that. They only wanted what was best for him and it had worked for the longest time. Unfortunately it had not prepared him for this.

Remus straightened up and felt a shudder run up and down his spine. How could it be so cold? Had the Dementors made it here with their breeding? It wouldn't be the shock of the century. They had infiltrated most of the country, so why not here as well? He hoped he wouldn't have to be here for long. He hoped the information would be revealed quickly so he could high-tail it back to London. Unless Dumbledore wanted him to come back? Dumbledore hadn't exactly given an expiration date on this mission. He could be here for the entire duration of the war and who knew how long that would be?

Remus had no clear idea of where his feet were carrying him; he only hoped it was in the right direction. He had to find this pack. He had to do his job so he could go back home and see his friends again.

What he wouldn't give to see his friends again.

* * *

Lily felt like a mother. After the complete hell of the recent past, it was nice to just feel like a mother. She enjoyed being able to spend time with her son in a way that didn't end in them having to move because Dark wizards had come knocking on their door. She could do such simple things for now. Right now she was simply able to go to the park with Harry, who was resting comfortably in the pram she was pushing. The sun wasn't so bright, so she didn't have to cover his face from it and he was able to enjoy the view. The park was somewhat crowded. There were children swinging and running up and down slides while their mothers told them that what they were doing was dangerous and they should stop.

Lily couldn't believe that was going to be her one day. She was going to be one of the mothers who was dissuading her son from climbing too high on the monkey bars or swinging much too high for her liking. She couldn't wait for that.

"Lily."

She glanced up and couldn't help her eyes growing wide when she realised who it was that had spoken. "Petunia?" What was more – Petunia was also pushing a pram. Both women were staring at the other as if they didn't know what to do. Lily hadn't seen her sister since her wedding and she honestly had not expected to see her again. Not for another ten years at the least. Merlin, this was awkward. "I… erm… how are you?" Lily asked with noticeable hesitance in her voice.

Petunia, however, did not seem to hear the woman's question and was instead gazing, with a certain amount of horror, at the pram the woman was pushing. A pram could mean only one thing. "You… you've had a baby?"

"So have you," Lily pointed out. The woman moved around so she would be able to see the baby, but Petunia deftly moved the pram around so she couldn't. Lily sighed and placed her hands on her hips, glaring up at her sister. "Really, Petunia, are you going to be ridiculous about it?"

"I'm not being ridiculous," Petunia insisted.

"Then let me see." When Petunia obviously wasn't going to budge, Lily sighed again and simply asked, "Is it a boy or a girl?"

"A boy."

"What's his name?"

"Dudley."

_Oh Merlin, the poor kid_, Lily thought to herself, but she dared not say it aloud. Merlin knew the boy couldn't have been given a worse name, at least in her opinion. As if his last name wasn't bad enough. Then again, his name did have a sort of ring to it – Dudley Dursley. "That's… that's a lovely name," she said, hoping her true feelings weren't betrayed in her voice.

Luckily, Petunia seemed to have not heard her. "What's your baby's name?" Petunia demanded, causing her sister to raise an eyebrow.

"Harry," Lily replied, noticing how Petunia didn't bother to hide her disgust at the name. At least Lily had tried to be discreet about her feelings. Petunia probably thought the name was _common_, but she didn't know the meaning behind the name and Lily very much doubted the woman would care if she did. "Harry James Potter," she added. She didn't care if Petunia liked the name, Lily and James liked it and that was what mattered.

"Well," Petunia began, unsure of what to say. "That's… good to know, I suppose."

Lily nodded, unsure of what that could possibly mean. "Yes… I suppose. Listen, Petunia-"

"I should be getting home. Vernon will be back from work soon." Without another word, the woman had continued to march on forward without as much as a backwards glance towards her sister.

When Lily arrived home, the first thing she did was tell James, who was getting ready to leave for his shift at the hospital, about her trip to the park. When James couldn't stifle his laughter about the baby's name, Lily didn't bother to either. At least they could have a good laugh over that. Lily wanted to be mad that her sister hadn't told her she'd had a baby, but Lily knew that would have been hypocritical. Lily didn't exactly go out of her way to inform Petunia of the same. Still, the fact that Petunia looked absolutely horrified at the idea of her sister being a mother was one that Lily was not likely to forget.

* * *

Sirius was bored. He was bored out of his mind and the worst part of it was that he had no one to tell this to. James was always at St. Mungo's or with Lily and the baby. Peter was always at work or off doing Merlin knew what. Remus had all but been swallowed up by the abyss. He had said he would contact them soon, but what exactly was his definition of that word? It had nearly been two months since he moved out and disappeared. Sirius missed having his roommate around. He always had someone to talk to. Now he was likely to start talking to himself and then he would know it was time to check into St. Mungo's.

The only times he really ever spoke to anyone know was during his Auror training and the Order meetings. Even then, it wasn't the same as having his friends around, just joking and laughing about complete nonsense. Merlin, he couldn't remember the last time he and his friends had done that. Everything had become so bloody complicated. He knew life often got in the way of living, but this kind of life had invaded in the cruelest way possible. Now Sirius never got to see his friends.

He had half a mind to go against Remus's request for no one to contact him until he did, but he always stopped him just as he was about to pull out his wand and conjure up a Patronus with a message. If Remus had specifically said to wait for him to contact them, he must have good reason. Sirius supposed he could always go track Peter and James down. They could go to the Leaky Cauldron or just spend time in his flat, talking and throwing things at each other like they used to. Sweet Merlin, they were only twenty! This should have been the high point of their lives and yet they barely had time for each other. It was all because of this stupid war.

"Padfoot!"

Sirius heard the slightly muffled voice coming from the inside of his pocket. He quickly slid the two-way mirror out and saw James's face in the glass, where Sirius's own reflection should have been. "What's up, Prongs?"

"I've got off work early; you want to get Peter and head to the Leaky Cauldron?"

For a moment Sirius had thought something bad may have happened. Relief didn't quite cover how he felt when he realised it was just James wanting to hang out like they used to. "Sure. If I can find Peter, I'll drag him along and meet you there at around seven, I suppose?"

"Sounds good to me." James's face vanished from the glass and Sirius felt a grin cross his face. Maybe it wasn't the entire group, the four of them, but three was better than nothing. Hell, _two_ would have been better than nothing. Anything beat being alone. Sirius locked up his flat and set out at once to Peter's store in Hogsmeade. If he couldn't catch him there, Sirius would check the man's home and see if he was there. Sirius really just wanted to see his friends. He was sick and tired of being bored.

He managed to catch Peter just as the man was locking up the store. "Wormtail!" Sirius said excitedly, causing Peter to jump slightly.

"Sirius, what are you doing here?" Peter asked, considerably surprised. It wasn't like Sirius to randomly appear at his shop.

"We're going out – you, me and James are going to the Leaky Cauldron."

"We are?"

"Yes, of course we are. When was the last time we did that?"

Peter seriously thought about this and came to the conclusion that he hadn't the slightest idea. "Good point," he conceded before following Sirius away from the shop and Apparating to Diagon Alley. Diagon Alley was, as usual, more or less deserted. No one wanted to stay out later than necessary. Sirius honestly didn't care. His identity was already known to probably every Dark witch and wizard, what did he have to lose? Peter, on the other hand, didn't worry for a different reason. The Death Eaters weren't about to come out and attack one of their own. He was perfectly safe.

James was already sitting at the bar when they arrived. He was quietly talking to Tom, who had slid a glass of butterbeer towards the younger man. James looked around and grinned when he spotted his friends entering the pub. "Harry was crying, Lily was telling me I was useless, I needed to get out," James explained as they sat.

"Oh, but we always tell you that you're useless and you've never had to get away from us," Sirius jibed, elbowing his friend in the ribs.

James chuckled lightly. "She's just stressed out, what with having to move again and the reason _why_ we had to move. I don't blame her."

Peter was glad neither James nor Sirius seemed to notice him shift uncomfortably on his stool. If it hadn't been for him, Lily needn't have to worry about moving, but he had to do what he had to do. If he had to give the Dark Lord that information, he was going to do it. He didn't know if he should say anything on the subject, so he said nothing and settled for ordering a mug of butterbeer.

"Have you heard from Remus?" James asked Sirius concernedly.

Sirius shook his head as he thanked Tom for the butterbeer he'd slid towards him. He dug for gold in his pocket and set some down on the counter. "No, not a word. Have you?"

James shook his head sadly. "It's like he vanished. He said he would contact us soon."

"He's probably got a different idea of what _soon_ means," Peter muttered offhandedly before taking a sip of his drink.

James and Sirius looked at him. "What do you mean?" Sirius asked.

Peter shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe he just doesn't want to talk to us anymore."

Sirius raised a doubtful eyebrow. "I don't think so, Wormtail. Why would he not want to talk to any of us?" They were the first _real_ friends he had ever made. They were basically his only best friends. Sirius couldn't even fathom the idea of Remus wanted to cut ties with them, for any reason.

"When people go through terrible things, don't they change?"

Sirius couldn't deny this, though he didn't think this would drastically change. "Well… yes, but I don't think it would make him stop talking to his friends."

"Have you heard a single word from him?"

"Wormtail," James abruptly cut in before Peter and Sirius were at each other's throats. "Let's just give him some more time. Can't you understand what he's gone through?" If anyone would understand that, it would be Peter. His father had been murdered by Death Eaters the same way Remus's parents had been.

* * *

The past few full moons had been horrible. Remus had found the werewolf pack he was supposed to be spying on and when the full moon rolled around, Remus had to run as far as he could from them, lest he be spotted. Remus was sure that these werewolves would recognise a newcomer and, when the moon set, he would be questioned about his intentions. Dumbledore had been very clear – he was _not_ to be spotted. Yet it was horrible that he had to wait out his injuries, which seemed to be worse than ever now that he was in this unfamiliar environment. He doubted any broken bones he may have had healed correctly.

He would have to ask James to fix them the next time he saw him, whenever that was.

Remus had long ago lost track of the days, only that it must have been winter by now, if the snow was any indication. Maybe he was just imagining the snow, he wouldn't be surprised. With all of the sleep he'd gotten since he started this mission – which was very little – he would not be shocked if he began seeing things. All he knew for certain was that he was unbearably cold, tired, and hungry. He just wanted to go home. Yet he needed the word from Dumbledore before that was possible and he had had no word from the man since the second week he was out in the wilderness.

Remus was now concealed by a very large tree trunk, peering out from behind it as he watched the pack at work. He had to admit, for people shunned from society, they knew how to make their own. They clearly had those in higher positions than others and it seemed everyone had some sort of job to keep their lives going. He couldn't deny that he was impressed by it, though he was worried as well. If they could do this, they could certainly be helpful to Voldemort when he finally came to recruit them.

Yet that had not happened yet and Remus was beginning to wonder if it ever would. Maybe Voldemort was taking his time, going to all of the different Dark creatures before he settled on one. Maybe he was going pick more than one and had to decide which ones? He could be paying a visit to the werewolves soon. When that would happen, Remus didn't know; he only hoped that it would never happen. Maybe the war would end long before that ever came about. If there was an end to this war, that was. As the days went by, he was beginning to doubt that more and more. Maybe that was what being on your own for so long did to a person – make them think about the worst case scenarios.

Remus heard rustling from behind him and quickly looked around. He had half a mind to believe that one of the werewolves in the pack had noticed his presence and was trying to get him from behind. However, it wasn't anything of the sort. In fact, it was a welcome sight. It was Dumbledore's Patronus – the shiny, silvery phoenix. This could only mean something good, couldn't it? The phoenix was moving in a way that suggested Remus follow it and so he did. He walked for what seemed like ages until he came upon the most welcome sight in the world.

Professor Dumbledore was in the forest.

"What are you doing here, Professor?" Remus asked. His voice was hoarse from lack of use.

Dumbledore was silent for a moment as he observed the young man through his half-moon spectacles. The effects of living in the wilderness for so long were clear on him. There were heavy bags under the man's eyes, his hair was knotted and clumped with dirt. The dirt was all over his shabby and torn robes and the injuries he had sustained from the full moon were very noticeable. "I think it is in your best interest to spend Christmas with your friends."

* * *

The group in the Potters' flat was small – it only consisted of James, Lily, Harry, Sirius and Peter – but it was a happy group, nonetheless. This was Harry's first Christmas and they were doing their best to make it a happy one, one that wasn't marred by the war raging outside these four walls. They had the biggest tree they could find that could fit into the flat and decorated it with brightly coloured ornaments and lights. Harry seemed enthralled by the colourful tree. They knew Harry wouldn't remember his first Christmas – what baby did? – but _they_ wanted to remember it, at any rate.

"What is this, Sirius?" Lily asked curiously when she opened up the present Sirius had bought for Harry.

"It's a stuffed dog, Lily," Sirius said. It was a large, black dog, though the face was slightly smushed from being crushed under of the Harry's other presents.

"It looks exactly like you in your Animagus form," James pointed out with a laugh.

"That was the intention, mate. The kid needs to know just how awesome his godfather is, doesn't he."

James shook his head, though he couldn't keep from laughing. Lily set the stuffed dog down and Harry stared at it with mild interest before turning his attention away from it, as though he was already bored with it.

The most important thing was to still have a Christmas. So many parts of their lives had been uprooted because of the war, yet they wanted to prove they could still enjoy a holiday. Christmas had always been one of their favourite days of the year and they didn't want that to change, especially not now that Harry was here. Every child should be able to enjoy a holiday without the worries of the war.

Just as Lily was setting dinner on the table, there was a knock at the door. James and Sirius were instantly on their feet, wands out. Peter had slowly risen from his seat and was taking his time drawing his wand. The people who knew about this place were all here, with the exception of Dumbledore. Who would be knocking on their door on Christmas? If it was another trick of the Death Eaters… James made his way towards the front door, Sirius not too far behind him. "Who is it?" James barked.

There was no denying the hoarse, tired voice that replied from the outside. James flung the door open and saw Remus standing on the steps. He looked more tired than they had ever seen him and there were a number of new scars visible on his face and neck, but he was there. They hadn't seen him in months, hadn't heard a word from him and the best Christmas present any of them could ask for was for them all to be together on Christmas.

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Ninety Three: Falling Apart**_

"I reckon it's time I started teaching him how to say Sirius," Sirius joked, looking up at Lily.

"I think your name might be a bit difficult for him, Padfoot," Lily commented, grinning as her son cheerfully hugged the dog.

"Foo," Harry managed, giggling when he saw the surprised look on his godfather's face.

"Foo?" Peter said with raised eyebrows.

"Hey, it's good enough for me. And Harry is the _only_ one who may refer to me as that," he added warningly to James and Peter.


	93. Falling Apart

Chapter Ninety Three  
Falling Apart

The moment Remus had gotten back with Dumbledore, the first thing he did was take a shower. He had never felt so disgusting in his life, especially when comparing himself to the otherwise clean home that had once belonged to his parents. It felt good to be in a pair of clean robes. When he was through with that, Dumbledore insisted he go to St. Mungo's to be checked on by a Healer, who did have to realign some bones that had healed out of place. Once he was finished there, he had the rest of the day to himself and that meant one thing.

He was going to see his friends.

He didn't care if he hadn't spoken to them in months. He couldn't risk it and, while they may not understand that, he still wished to see them, especially on this day. There was no one more he wanted to spend his Christmas with and it was obvious Dumbledore understood that. Remus first checked Sirius's flat to make sure they weren't there. He had a suspicion they would be at James's place and so, when he saw they weren't at Sirius's, he set out at once for the Potters'. Dumbledore had told him where they were now living. There were no words good enough to describe just how he felt when he saw two of his best friends standing in the doorway. There were no words to describe how it felt to see James lower his wand and grin like a fool at the sight of his friend.

"Lily, really, I don't think I can eat anymore," Remus said as Lily insisted on putting a fourth helping of dinner on his plate. He really could have eaten a Hippogriff, but he felt as if he may explode if he ate anymore at the current moment.

"So what have you been up to?" James inquired as his wife set the bowl of potatoes down on the table and went to check on her son. As thrilled as he was to see Remus, he was undeniably interested in where he was for the past few months.

"Just work," Remus replied quickly, taking a sip of water. He wasn't really lying. He _was_ working; just on a secret mission Dumbledore didn't want him to discuss with anyone, not even his best friends.

"We haven't heard from you since you left," Sirius said with a certain amount of disbelief before stuffing a potato into his mouth. Swallowing with a bit of difficulty, he went on, "That's really all you've been doing – work?"

"Yes. I'm sorry I didn't contact you. I said I would, I know, but… well, I'm just sorry I didn't." He shifted the food around on his plate and glanced up at his friends, who didn't look entirely certain, but didn't question him further. He honestly didn't want to even _think_ about the past few months. He wanted to enjoy the little time he had here before he had to go back into the wilderness. "How have you all been?" he asked, desperate to keep the topic as far away from himself as possible.

"Getting by," James replied before spearing a piece of lamb on his fork. "Order work, regular work, and a baby that cries a lot doesn't help."

"You bear Harry's crying quite well," said Lily's sarcastic voice from inside the kitchen. "You sleep while I calm him down."

The men at the table chuckled as James fumbled with his words for a moment before muttering incoherently and settling on stuffing a piece of lamb into his mouth. "How long are you going to be here for?" he asked Remus.

The man shrugged, trying to hide his irritation that the conversation had been turned on him again. "I dunno. I may have to go back tomorrow or in a few days, maybe longer." He personally hoped it would be longer. He did _not_ want to go back into the woods. He was happy to help the Order in any way he could, that fact would never be disputed, but he missed his friends and he missed being in London. The longer he got to stay here, the better. He could even endure living in his parents' old house for that time.

James and Sirius exchanged significant glances with each other. They were both thinking along the same lines – _what_, in Merlin's name, was Remus doing that required him to be so unpredictable and unavailable? Remus had never exactly been an open book, but he had offered up more information than he was now. Yet they also knew that, if they pressed him for more information, he would never give them any. So they said nothing and simply acted interested as the man asked Peter about how the shop was.

After dinner had concluded, they retreated to the living room, where Lily sat in a rocking chair with Harry in her arms. The baby babbled gleefully, as if he knew the happiness his parents felt at getting to spend Christmas with all of their friends. Peter was sitting on one end of the couch, leafing through a Healing book James had left there earlier. Sirius had taken the stuffed dog he had gotten for Harry and was admiring it, laughing at the incredulous look James was sending him. Remus had settled himself on the other end of the couch and had dozed off at some point.

"He looks bloody awful," James commented concernedly once he was sure the man was fully sleeping and wouldn't hear them. It wouldn't surprise James if this was the first time in ages that the man had really slept. It would explain the horrific dark circles under his eyes.

Sirius nodded. "Guess wherever he is now isn't working out for him." Sirius honestly wished his friend would just realise he was happier living where he had been. Of course, Sirius couldn't say for sure whether or not Remus was happier, but it certainly _looked_ as though he had been. He had been healthier, at any rate.

Peter rolled his eyes behind Sirius's back. Of _course_ where Remus was now living wasn't working out for him. He had been stupid to even think that he would be able to survive without any of their help. He wasn't anything without their help. The only reason he had had a job and a place to live was because of Peter and Sirius. Sirius had done it out of friendship; Peter had done it out of pity for the man. It truly was pathetic to hear that he had been fired from his job at the bookstore. Peter could only imagine what the reaction would have been if Mr. Foster had known what his employee was. A trip to the nutter house for both of them, Peter suspected.

Peter honestly didn't understand their concern. The man had brought whatever happened to him upon himself.

James stood up and crossed into the dining room to grab a biscuit off the tray. Chewing on one thoughtfully, he turned back to Sirius. "Talk to him, would you?" James knew that Sirius, more than any of them, would be able to convince Remus to come back home. Sirius nodded, though he wasn't sure how much of an effect his words would have. When Harry began babbling in his direction, his arms outstretched for the toy Sirius held, the man grinned and gently placed the stuffed animal in the boy's arms.

"I reckon it's time I started teaching him how to say Sirius," Sirius joked, looking up at Lily.

"I think your name might be a bit difficult for him, Padfoot," Lily commented, grinning as her son cheerfully hugged the dog.

"Foo," Harry managed, giggling when he saw the surprised look on his godfather's face.

"Foo?" Peter said with raised eyebrows.

"Hey, it's good enough for me. And Harry is the _only_ one who may refer to me as that," he added warningly to James and Peter.

"Right," James said, chuckling. "Keep telling yourself that, Foo." James laughed even harder at the affronted look on his best friend's face. "You know you think the name is adorable."

"Only because my godson says it." There was no way he would let James called him that. No one except Harry could, though Sirius _might_ have allowed Lily to use the name, just because she was Lily.

It wasn't long before the night ended and they bid James, Lily and Harry goodnight. Peter went home at once, yet Sirius was making it a point to talk to Remus, who was also trying to get back to wherever it was he lived now. Sirius wasn't letting him get away so easily. The man had been missing in action for months and he had just appeared with no word on what he had been doing.

"So, how've you been?" Sirius began, deciding to keep the questions basic before he really got into what he wanted to talk about. Besides, it was a natural question, considering what the man had gone through over the summer. First being attacked on his way home from work and then losing both of his parents.

"I'm okay," Remus replied with an absentminded nod of the head. He wasn't about to let Sirius know what was really on his mind. Dumbledore had sworn him to secrecy and, while he felt like the bloody enemy for being so secretive about it, he would not break his word with Dumbledore.

Sirius looked doubtful. "Are you sure? You know, it's your first Christmas without your parents, that can't be easy." Sirius didn't know the first thing about blood relatives, but he knew Remus loved his parents beyond all else and to spend his first Christmas without them had to be difficult for him.

"Yeah, I know." It was hard. His parents loved the holidays and he couldn't help but think about the times he had gone with his dad and grandfather to chop down a Christmas tree, or when he and his friend and his father along with Mr. Potter and Mr. Pettigrew had gone to chop down the tree, that stupid contest they'd had. Where had those times gone? All those men were gone now, one on his own terms and two not. As for the boys they had been back then, they were gone as well. They barely saw each other anymore. James was busy being a father, Sirius was busy with his Auror training, Peter practically lived in his shop and Remus was playing spy in the woods.

That group they had been in Hogwarts had long since disappeared. Reality had slapped them all in the face. Still, that didn't mean he couldn't value the time he had with his friends before Dumbledore sent him back into the wild.

"Have you been getting on well?" Sirius continued pressing, he would keep doing so until he got a satisfactory answer.

"As well as I can."

Sirius gritted his teeth and stepped in the man's path so he could not walk any further. "Merlin, Moony. We've been worried sick about you. You just came home one day and announced you were moving out and you were quitting your job! That's not like you! Then you said you were going to contact us and you never did. What, in _Merlin's_ name, have you been doing these past few months?"

"Nothing you need to concern yourself about." He said it a little nastier than he should have and he regretted it. Remus didn't blame Sirius for being concerned. Merlin knew Remus would be the same way if he was in the man's position, but he was in no position to talk about what was going on in his life at the moment.

"Is that so?" Sirius was looking at him with a cool glare. He rarely fought with Remus about anything and he didn't like to see that a fight was where this was heading. This was supposed to be a happy time. It was bloody _Christmas!_

"Yes, it is." Remus's gaze was hard and determined to say nothing more on the subject. "Is there any more to your interrogation?"

Sirius's tone was sharp. "No, there isn't. Happy Christmas, Remus." And, before anything else could be said, Sirius had disappeared into the dark night.

* * *

Only two days after Christmas, Dumbledore had appeared at Remus's home to inform him that he would have to go back to the wilderness at the beginning of February. Voldemort had been slow in his act to move to the Dark creatures, but, according to Severus Snape, the man was getting ever closer to it. Remus needed to be there if that happened, so he would be able to inform the Order about this. Remus didn't want it to happen, but there was a tiny part of him that thought if it did, he would be able to finally come home to stay.

So the Lupin home was vacant once again when its only occupant disappeared on his mission for the Order.

Peter was busy with his life as a double agent. Far too busy for his liking. He knew that he had to keep up the front for the Order and his friends. He had to keep pretending that he was completely on their side, that nothing had changed. The Dark Lord was expecting him to provide him with copious amounts of information and Peter was becoming increasingly edgy when there wasn't what his Master would call a sufficient amount. If he didn't continue to come up with information, he was sure the Dark Lord would begin to question Peter's loyalties, something he couldn't let happen.

Peter hoped it wouldn't come to that. He knew where his loyalties lay, but he wasn't sure if he would be able to convince the other Death Eaters.

Sirius continued to go to his Auror training, praying for the day when he would no longer be a trainee but, of course, that day was years away. It didn't make him any less impatient. He had thrown himself into it, needing distractions from everything else that was weighing on his mind. James had informed him that he and Lily would be moving out of their house again, as they had seen him suspicious-looking figures not too far from their home. James decided it was best to get Lily and the baby out of there before anything could happen. Sirius didn't understand it. How were the Death Eaters finding them?

"James, go check on Harry."

It was well past midnight and Harry's crying had just shattered the otherwise peaceful night. Both Lily and James were exhausted, but it was James's turn to go check on him. James moaned incoherently and considered just letting Harry cry himself out before realising that was completely the wrong thing to do. Besides, he imagined Lily would continue asking until James was so fed up he would go do it.

He wasn't sure which was worse – Harry crying or Lily telling him to make Harry stop crying. Both were noisy in the middle of the night.

Groggily, the man crawled out of bed and padded across the cold wooden floor towards the cradle where his son had been resting. James carefully picked Harry up and cradled him in his arms, disappearing into the next room so as to not disturb Lily. James sat down in the rocking chair and gently rocked back and forth on it. "Listen, Harry, you've got to learn that crying is something that needs to be kept to daytime. Your mum's on her last nerve."

It was true. Lily was stressed out, constantly worrying about her family and her friends. She was lucky when she got any sleep as it meant a few hours where her mind wasn't racing through this terrible war they were engulfed in. James looked down at the tiny replica of himself and couldn't help but grin. Even months later it was completely surreal to him that he was a father. "You know, this won't last forever."

James wasn't sure what he was talking about or why he was bothering to say this to his infant son, but he just kept going. "This whole war… it can't possibly go on forever, can it? I mean, either way it has to end. We can't keep living like this. It _needs_ to end, doesn't it?" Harry hiccupped and James chuckled. "I'll take that as a yes." James turned Harry so the baby's stomach was resting against his chest and lightly patted him on the back. "Surely this will end by the time you're old enough to go to Hogwarts."

James nodded approvingly as a burp emitted from his son's mouth. "You're going to love it there. All of the secret passages, the Gryffindor common room because you _will _be a Gryffindor. Not to mention making the best friends of your life there." Like the ones James had made, the best friends he didn't see anymore. But Harry didn't need to hear that. "You'll love it there; it'll be the time of your life. Just don't blow anything up or else your mum will never forgive you or me because she'll think I gave you the idea." James would be proud of his son, and probably _would_ have given him the idea, but Lily would most likely have a heart attack.

"You probably won't remember this, but I'm sorry we've lived in so many places since you've been born." Even if Harry was only a baby, James would never say out loud that Harry was the cause of it. It wasn't his fault Voldemort was a maniac and wanted to kill an innocent baby. James would be damned if he allowed that to happen. "It'll calm down soon; we'll be able to have a normal life. Hopefully it'll happen soon."

One day his son would get to know a peaceful world. James had been lucky; he had been spoiled with a good life growing up. His parents would give him anything he wanted because he had been something they thought they would never have. Harry was a blessing in this terrible time they were living in. He was proof that there were still good things out there. Maybe people wouldn't recommend having children at this time, but James wouldn't have had it any other way. He loved his son and he was going to give him a good world to live in.

James shifted again in the chair and pressed his lips to the messy mass of black hair on his son's head. "C'mon Harry, time for you to go back to sleep."

* * *

Living the life of a double agent was difficult, but Peter felt that if he could do this, he could do anything. No one had a clue! Not a single person knew that he was no longer loyal to the Order of the Phoenix. No one knew that he had a Dark Mark burned onto his arm. He had even fooled Remus about it, claiming his arm was _itching_. The git had actually believed him. It was brilliant. Absolutely _brilliant_. He was going to make it out of this mess. He couldn't say the same for those he had once called his best friends, but _he_ was going to make it out of this war. It was becoming increasingly obvious that Voldemort was going to triumph in the end.

The Order's numbers had dwindled pathetically. So many of them had died, others were unable to fight and some had just disappeared altogether. It should just how _brave_ they were, not even being around to fight for a cause they supposedly believed in. Peter wasn't entirely sure what he believed in anymore, but he did not believe in fighting a battle he knew he could not win. The Order wasn't going to win. No matter how hard they tried, no matter what they sacrificed, they were not going to win.

Peter didn't care. He was being protected. All he had to do was provide enough information for Voldemort in order to keep that protection. Peter had initially thought it would be difficult, but it was proving to be remarkably easy. He had the information Voldemort wanted, after all. Peter had the Potters. Peter should have felt guilty. He really should have. James and Lily had never been anything but kind to him and Harry was an innocent baby, but, strangely, Peter felt no remorse whatsoever.

He had, however, resolved to keep their whereabouts unknown for now and, if someone were to question him, his answer would be that they would go into some form of hiding provided by Dumbledore and then who knew if they would ever be found? For now, James's location would be a secret. Voldemort hadn't been asking about it for a while and Peter supposed he may have been thinking the same. They couldn't risk the Potters vanishing completely. How they would do that, Peter had no idea, but he never had any idea of what James Potter was going to do.

Peter had also been doing a job of keeping any suspicions away from himself. He had been keeping up the masquerade of being on their side, yet he had to make sure no one saw past the façade. To do this, Peter had been bringing up such innocent questions such as: _What do you think is wrong with Remus? _Not to mention he had also been remarking how odd it was that he would vanish for months and not even tell them where he was when he showed up again. The fact that no one seemed to know where he was wasn't working in the man's favour. Peter had been pushing this information into Sirius.

The way Peter saw it was – Sirius was James's best friend and brother, but Sirius knew Remus better than they all did. It came with living together for so long. It would hit Sirius the hardest if he thought Remus was betraying them all. Sirius would take it extraordinarily personally, considering how many people had already betrayed him in his life. First his own family and then one of his best friends? He wouldn't be able to handle and then who knew what might do? Peter would dearly love to see the look on the man's face when he came to that realisation.

This was what brought Peter to the man's flat. He knew Sirius should be home from the Auror Academy by now and this was as good a time as any to talk to the man, put the ideas in his head that maybe their werewolf friend wasn't to be trusted. He had to keep the blame far away from himself. Peter already had it all mapped out, it was just a matter of putting it into action. When Sirius let him in, Peter could see at once that Sirius was at his best for manipulating. He was tired, not too happy, this was perfect.

"How's it going, Wormtail?" Sirius asked, leading the man through the entryway and into the kitchen, where Peter saw he was boiling some water. "Tea?" Sirius offered.

"Sure, thanks." Peter took a seat at the table, thanking Sirius again when he passed over a mug. Peter took a sip of the scalding liquid, grimacing at the heat, before carefully broaching the reason he stopped by. "Have you heard from Remus lately?" Play it carefully. That was what he was doing. He just had to sound curious, innocently curious. He had to sound as if he was concerned for the man when, really, he was just trying to incriminate him.

Sirius shook his head and Peter was pleased to notice the shadow of annoyance appear in the man's expression. "Haven't spoken to him since Christmas."

"That's quite a long time, especially for you two."

"Yeah, I know." Sirius distractedly took a sip of his drink. "But Remus is a grown up, he knows how to take care of himself."

"But you still worry." It wasn't a question. It didn't have to be. Peter knew this for a fact. This was what would play to his advantage. Sirius definitely took Remus's absence and lack of explanation about it personally. Merlin, this was too good to be true.

"Yeah, I do," Sirius admitted. He was furious with his friend, but he still worried about him, especially around the full moons. James hadn't mentioned anything about Remus appearing in St. Mungo's, so that could only mean the transformations hadn't been so terrible, unless he was going to another hospital or not getting any help at all.

"Do you ever wonder why he hasn't told any of us where he is?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow at Peter. If truth be told, Sirius _had_ wondered why. It was so unlike Remus. Initially, Sirius had just believed it had to do with him still coping with his parents' deaths. Now, however, Sirius wasn't so sure. It had been ages since Mr. and Mrs. Lupin died. While Remus might not entirely be over, he had to be past it a bit. "I do… Yeah, I do wonder. He's been gone for months now and we don't know where he is or what he's doing."

"Maybe he doesn't want us to know," Peter supposed thoughtfully, taking another sip of his tea. "I mean, we are his best friends and it's strange that he wouldn't tell us anything about what he's doing. War changes people, doesn't it?"

"Of course it does."

"Maybe it's changed Remus." Peter drained the mug and offered Sirius the tiniest of grins. "Thanks for the tea. I need to get home. See you later, Padfoot."

When Peter was gone, Sirius couldn't help but mull over what he had said. There was truth to his words. War changed people in so many ways. In what way had it changed Remus?

* * *

_**Excerpt from Chapter Ninety Four: The Traitor**_

"This would not be a burden," Dumbledore assured him. He would do anything to protect this family and that included being their Secret Keeper.

"I would prefer to use a friend," James insisted. Maybe he was being stupid, but there was one friend he trusted above all else.

"James, I am warning you. Choose wisely. One of your friends has betrayed you and to use one as a Secret Keeper is ill advisable."

"Not for whom I have in mind."

"Who do you have in mind, James?" Lily questioned, already knowing the answer. She trusted Sirius, but she would rather have Dumbledore as their Secret Keeper.


	94. The Traitor

Chapter Ninety Four  
The Traitor

It was hard to believe Harry was already a year old. It had seemed like such a short time ago that he had just been born. Now he was a year old and he had proved to be the biggest light in these dark times. Having Harry around showed that this was a war worth fighting so he could grow up in a happier time. James and Lily weren't able to do anything really special for their son's first birthday; they couldn't risk exposing themselves and so they simply had a tiny get together in their home. Sirius and Peter came by to celebrate and Sirius brought a birthday present James seemed to love more than Harry. It was a tiny broomstick made especially for a baby. Harry, who was now walking on wobbly legs, was having the time of his life zooming around on it.

It was equally as hard to believe that it had been a year since Harry and Anna Lupin had died. Remus wanted so much to go to the cemetery where they were buried to see them, but he couldn't. He couldn't leave these bloody woods to do something so important to him. He was fed up with it. He should be allowed to see his parents' graves on the anniversary of their deaths. But no, he was here, in the middle of the bloody woods. He was close to telling Dumbledore that this all had to be a farce. It couldn't take so long for Voldemort to contact the werewolves. Maybe it was a trick. That was the only explanation Remus could think of for why this was taking so long. But he couldn't abandon this, in case it _wasn't_ a trick.

Things were going poorly for the Order. They were getting no closer to ending this war than they were three years ago. They continued to fight, thinking of their fallen friends who had died in the act of trying to make a better world. Their deaths wouldn't be in vain. They thought of those they loved who weren't caught up in actually fighting the battles. They wanted to make a good place for them to live. Everyone tried to keep these incentives in mind, yet it was difficult to do when all they wanted was for it to be over. They all wanted their simple, uneventful lives back.

What was the most unnerving fact was that it was inevitable that there was a traitor in their midst. The larger part of the Order was not aware of this, as Dumbledore only shared this information to those it pertained to – the Potters and their friends. Once again the Potters' home had been discovered by the wrong people. Only so many people knew about their location. Dumbledore was one of them, the Potters of course, and their three best friends. One of them had told someone about this. This couldn't go on. James and Lily were trying to raise a son; their lives could not be continuously uprooted like this. Something had to be done.

Having already shared this news with Remus, who was not able to be there in his office at Hogwarts, Dumbledore now found himself sitting across from the group that had once been so tightly knit. He could hardly bring himself to believe that one of them had betrayed them all. James, Lily, Sirius and Peter looked confused, without a clue of why they had been asked there. Surely it wasn't for anything good, though they wished to believe it _may _be for something good. After all, how much worse could things get?

"It has come to my attention that there is a traitor amongst us," Dumbledore informed them gravely, carefully taking in all of their reactions. They were all undoubtedly shocked at this piece of news.

"A traitor?" Lily repeated in a small voice. There couldn't be a traitor. Who would want to betray them? She couldn't think of anyone in the Order who would.

"I can see no other reason for why you have been repeatedly discovered in every new home I have placed you in. Someone on our side must be responsible for this." He hated to deliver this news, but there was no other way. If James and Lily wanted to get out of this war with their son, they had to know and Dumbledore found it equally important to inform their best friends. The closest people to them. One of them was behind it and, though it grieved him to consider the possibility, he was left with no other option.

"What are we going to do?" James asked. His face was grim. Like his wife and Dumbledore, James could not believe that someone would stab them in the back like that, risk the life of an innocent child. He also saw that this was a logical explanation.

"I am working on a plan that I will tell you of soon, once it has been finalized." Dumbledore was already well into making the plan; he would just have to teach Lily the proper spell. She was the best in her year at Charms; she would be able to perform it. It was one of the most difficult of spells to master, but he had the utmost faith in her.

"There can't be a traitor," James said when they arrived back at Sirius's flat. While he could see the logic behind it, he couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that one of his friends had stabbed him in the back in such a way. He didn't want to believe it, yet what other explanation could there be? They had been found every time they moved. The signs were pointing to someone, but James couldn't even begin to think of who it may be. He didn't _want_ to think about who it was.

"You think Dumbledore is lying?" Sirius said with a raised eyebrow. There _had_ to be a traitor and, as much as it sickened Sirius to even _think_ about it, he had an idea as to who it may be.

"No… no, I know Dumbledore wouldn't lie about this but-" He exchanged glances with Lily, who bit her lip and shook her head sadly. He could see how much it shocked her to even consider who was betraying them.

"I… I should get Harry home," Lily said quietly. Harry was beginning to get antsy and she could tell James wanted to talk this out with his best friend. Or _was_ Sirius his best friend? Oh Merlin, she didn't want to go there. She didn't want to place the blame on any of them. She wanted to believe that maybe it was just luck that Voldemort had found them all those times. Peter also excused himself, saying he needed to get back to the shop.

"Maybe I should get going as well," James said uncomfortably. He had to think about this. He didn't want to, but he had to. He had a son and wife to think about. He had their _lives _to think about. He had to put aside his biases for the moment, his friendship, and think. After all, that was what this traitor had done.

"You know I would never do that to you, don't you?" Sirius asked uncertainly. He wouldn't be able to take it if James thought _he_ was the backstabber. Maybe it sounded back for him to ask that, but he had to make sure James knew this.

James was quick to assure Sirius that he knew this very well. "Of course I do."

Sirius was relieved to hear the sincerity in his best friend's voice. "I… I don't want to say this; it obviously has to be Remus or Peter if it's not me. Would… would Remus do this?" He felt ill voicing it, but Remus was the only other viable option! He had the skill, he had the brains; he could be it.

James looked about as ill as Sirius felt. "Remus? No… no, why would he do that?"

"James, it's not me, it's obviously not you or Lily, that leaves Remus and Peter and, to be honest, Peter isn't talented enough."

James couldn't ignore the argument Sirius was presenting, yet he wished he could. He still felt the need to defend his friend. "But _Remus_, Sirius? Why would he join the side of the people who killed his parents?"

Sirius couldn't deny that James had a point, but no matter which way Sirius looked at it, Peter was just not capable of such a betrayal. He just wasn't. It frustrated him beyond comprehension. He didn't want to do this! He didn't want to place the blame on Remus, but the signs were pointing to him. He was gone without reason, he wouldn't say anything about it. Who was to say he wasn't one of Voldemort's lackeys now? "Don't ask me to figure out how a werewolf's mind works."

James looked as though someone had slapped him. Had Sirius really just said that? Tentatively, James said, "Sirius?"

Sirius's hands clenched into fists at his sides and his face felt warm from the anger coursing through him. "Merlin, James, we trusted him! Who else can it be? Remus is brilliant, skilled with a wand and he's a werewolf!"

"You're a Black," James pointed out heatedly. There was no way Sirius was so hypocritical to use that argument.

Sirius's expression now matched James's. "I wouldn't do anything like that to you."

"I don't want to believe Remus would stab us in the back like that."

"Look at recent facts, James. He's vanished. When he vanished, you and Lily were driven from home to home. He _won't_ tell us where he is or what he's doing. He's _changed_, James. I don't want to believe it either, but what else can we do?"

James didn't want to believe that Remus was the traitor, but that was just it. He didn't _want_ to believe it. He _could_ believe it. It was undeniable that Remus had changed over the past year and, while maybe a portion of that was due to his parent's deaths, maybe another part was because his allegiance had changed. James couldn't refute that he had a difficult time figuring out what the man was thinking a lot of the times. It would be hard to understand _why_ he would, but the fact remained that Remus had to be the one.

He was the traitor.

* * *

Lily wasn't happy at James's revelation that Remus was the traitor, but she was more concerned for the life of her son than she was about that. She wanted this to end. She wanted to be able to raise Harry in a world that hadn't gone mad. If she had to admit that a man she had been friends with for so long, had loved like he was her brother, had betrayed them, well it was just another part of war that she was going to have to accept. No matter how much it sickened her.

It was just another hit in their lives. She hated that it came so close, but there was nothing she could do about it now.

They were due back at Professor Dumbledore's office the next day. He had something important he wanted to tell him, something related to his plan to keep them safe until this war was over. They both hoped this plan would work. How many times could they keep running? Voldemort would find them eventually and absolutely no mercy would be taken. If they could successfully vanish from society for a while, they wanted to know how. Hopefully Dumbledore would be able to provide them with some answers.

"The Fidelius Charm will protect you better than any spell there is," Dumbledore informed them. Fillius had assured him that if they cast this spell, there was every possibility of them surviving. If they were smart about one particular aspect of the spell. "No one will know where you are. They could be standing in front of your home and would not be able to detect your presence. The way the Fidelius Charm works is that you must have a Secret Keeper."

"A Secret Keeper?" James queried. He wasn't sure he had ever heard the term before, though it did sound like it was exactly what they needed.

"A Secret Keeper is the holder of your location. Only the Secret Keeper is able to divulge this information. Whomever the Secret Keeper tells this to will be able to see your home and find you, yet _they_ will not be able to tell someone else the location. This is the most important decision you will make in this war. This is why I must strongly advise you to choose wisely. Your lives will rest in this person's hands. I am offering myself as your Secret Keeper."

Lily glanced hopefully at James. If Dumbledore was their Secret Keeper, they were guaranteed to be safe. They were given the chance to escape this war with the Headmaster's help. Dumbledore would never reveal their location to anyone. He was the one working so hard to keep them safe. Yet James didn't look as certain as she felt.

"You've already done so much for us, Professor. We couldn't add another burden to you," James told the man, trying to ignore the startled look on Lily's face. Dumbledore didn't need to babysit them.

"James," Lily whispered in shock. Surely he was losing his mind.

"This would not be a burden," Dumbledore assured him. He would do anything to protect this family and that included being their Secret Keeper.

"I would prefer to use a friend," James insisted. Maybe he was being stupid, but there was one friend he trusted above all else.

"James, I am warning you. Choose wisely. One of your friends has betrayed you and to use one as a Secret Keeper is ill advisable."

"Not for whom I have in mind."

"Who do you have in mind, James?" Lily questioned, already knowing the answer. She trusted Sirius, but she would rather have Dumbledore as their Secret Keeper.

"Sirius would rather die than tell anyone where we are," James insisted firmly, hating the doubtful look his wife was sending him.

Dumbledore closed his eyes for a moment. He looked tired. James and Lily had never seen the Headmaster look tired before. They thought he was above that, they thought he didn't get tired. It had been a childish thought that had stuck with them throughout the years. "If that is what you wish, Mr. Potter. Lily, I will teach you how to perform the Fidelius Charm." He took a deep breath, another thing they had never seen him do. "I know you trust your friend, James, just remember my offer is there."

Lily wasn't happy with James. She trusted James's judgment, yet she didn't want to trust anyone beyond him at this point. Dumbledore would have been the perfect selection. They wouldn't have to worry! Dumbledore would die before turning them in and, while she believed Sirius would rather die as well, she would pick the Headmaster over him. Who was to say Sirius would even agree to this? This was a risk on his life as well. What if he didn't want to take that risk? This was war. Everyone wanted to get out of it _alive_.

Yet Sirius had no problem with it when James brought up the prospect. In fact, he embraced the chance to be able to protect his best friends. He would be able to ensure that they were safe. He wouldn't have to constantly worry. He had felt helpless every time he learned that they had been driven out of their home because of Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Now he would be able to prevent that from happening. It _wouldn't _happen because Sirius would be damned if ever revealed their location. All Lily needed to do was cast the Fidelius Charm once they moved into their new home in Godric's Hollow.

Dumbledore had picked it out. It was where he had grown up as a child. It wasn't entirely Wizarding, but there were Wizarding families that lived there, like Bathilda Bagshot. It was a nice village, Lily and James rather liked it. In fact, they had decided that this would be where they raised their family once the war was over. They would finally come out of hiding and be able to see the world again. They had already begun hiding as far as their jobs went. Lily and James had taken indefinite leaves of absence from the _Daily Prophet_ and from St. Mungo's. It was hard, but they had to do it.

They were surprised, however, when Sirius pulled them aside one evening to discuss a plan of his own. He had been thinking about it nonstop. While he would be more than glad to be their Secret Keeper, he was the obvious choice. He was _too_ obvious a choice. If they wanted to beat this, they had to be sneaky. That was why he suggested using Peter Pettigrew as their Secret Keeper. It was a farce. It was ridiculous. Who would expect him? No one - that was who. No one in their right mind would suspect Peter having anything to do with the Potters' disappearance, let alone knowing where they were.

James and Lily considered this idea for a long time before deciding that Sirius had a point. Peter was an unlikely choice and it would only work to their advantage. If the Death Eaters began to suspect they had gone into hiding using the Fidelius Charm, they would go towards the more likely candidate as the Secret Keeper. That was Sirius. Sirius would be able to put up a fight if they did come calling for him. Peter, however, wouldn't. It would throw the Death Eaters for a loop when they realized it wasn't Sirius they should be after. And Peter had agreed to do it. They hadn't expected it to be so easy, but they weren't complaining. Time was quickly running out.

Peter, meanwhile, had a plan of his own. He knew how this was going to end. It was going to end on _his_ terms for once. He was going to be the one to bring an end to this war because, after all, the Dark Lord wouldn't have been able to do this without him. Peter was going to be the Secret Keeper. The Dark Lord was as graceful as a cat. He would be able to sneak around Godric's Hollow with James and Lily realizing his presence. It would catch them completely off guard when the man entered their home, ready to deal out their fates with one final blow. Peter may have had to vanish once he committed the deed, but he wasn't going to. He knew Sirius would be after his blood, but what did Peter have to fear? He would be revered by the Dark Lord as the one who delivered the final blow to end this war. Peter would have unlimited protection. He had nothing to worry about.

It was beautiful, poetic justice. Those that never gave a damn about him were about to fall by his hand and their own stupidity. It was beautiful. Peter would be a hero. There was no doubt about it – Peter Pettigrew would be a hero. He had handed Voldemort the information to take down the Potters and finally end this war. Life had never been so good. He was going to be the Secret Keeper and he was going to end this war.

And so, on October the twenty fourth, 1981, the Fidelius Charm was cast.

* * *

There was a traitor. Merlin, he had really been out of the loop. When Dumbledore had informed Remus of this, he hadn't believed it at first. In fact, he had been disappointed at the time because Dumbledore hadn't been contacting him to tell him to come home. Yet his disappointment was quickly shoved from his mind at the prospect of someone betraying Lily and James like that. What was even worse, the traitor _had_ to be part of their group. It wasn't Prongs, but it was either Moony, Padfoot or Wormtail. Remus knew it wasn't him, so that left Sirius or Peter.

He never believed he would have to think about this, but he had to compare the two and decide who was most likely to be the traitor. It wasn't a difficult task.

It would be ridiculous to think that Peter was the traitor, yet it was equally ridiculous to believe that it was Sirius. Peter wasn't capable of it and Sirius would never hurt James in such a way. He may have been a Black, but that part of the Black Family had passed him over completely. He had proven it again and again. He had proven it by befriending a werewolf and a blood traitor. He had proven it by running away from them when it became too much, when they wouldn't relent pushing their beliefs upon him. He had proven he would rather die than betray any of his friends. Yet there was still this nagging suspicion in the back of Remus's mind that was pointing its finger at Sirius. Remus tried to ignore it. This couldn't have been it. There couldn't have been a traitor. There just couldn't have been.

It wasn't as though he could prove it, anyway. Not from where he was. He was still in the woods. He was beginning to think this was going to become his permanent residence. The werewolves had not been approached by any Death Eater or Voldemort himself, at least not while Remus had been awake. If Voldemort had appeared or sent Death Eaters to speak on his behalf, it had been in the few hours Remus had been asleep over the past few months. This had to be a trick, it had to be. Someone was behind this to throw the Order off whatever their real plans were.

He was ready to just call it quits and go home, forget about what Dumbledore said about staying. What was the point? There were no Dark creatures coming to aid Voldemort, at least not any werewolves. Maybe he'd found enough help in the vampires or the giants and didn't need the help of the werewolves. It was possible. Maybe even Lord Voldemort saw a limit to the size of an army. Was he being a fool for thinking that? Remus didn't think so. He was here for far too long and all he wanted to do was go home.

If the Death Eaters weren't coming by now, they weren't coming. If they did when he left, no one could say he hadn't tried.

Remus didn't know how the fates had smiled on him, preventing the werewolves from discovering him for so long, but he wasn't complaining. He was more thankful for this than he would be for anything else. Somehow he had managed to stay hidden and he was not taking that for granted. He could have been dead by now if he had been discovered. He would be dead or irreversibly injured. Now he just had to get out of there before his luck ran out and he was caught.

Only he wasn't so lucky.

Remus was moving far away enough to Apparate back to London, yet he wasn't fast enough. He was weak, he was tired and hungry. He wasn't able to stop the unexpected force that came from behind him, knocking him to the ground where the breath left his body for a long moment. Stars were violently dancing before his eyes as he fought to regain his breath. There was a heavy weight on top of him and it wasn't letting him go. Then a rough, furious voice spoke in his ear.

"What do we have here?"

He was discovered.

* * *

**_Excerpt from Chapter Ninety Five - Crashing Down_**

The movement was a large, hulking figure that Sirius recognized even in the darkness. Rubeus Hagrid. Sirius approached the man, still wheeling along his motorcycle. Sirius could see Hagrid was cradling something in his arms. "Hagrid?" Sirius croaked.

Hagrid was startled as well. He looked at the young man with surprise in his eyes. He didn't think anyone else would be here tonight. The large man looked just as shaken as Sirius was. "Sirius Black?" Hagrid questioned.

Sirius nodded, gulping in the cold night air. "I… W-what are you holding?" Sirius pushed the kickstand on the bike down and approached Hagrid. What he saw nearly made him faint in shock.


	95. Crashing Down

Chapter Ninety Five  
Crashing Down

It was hard to enjoy the simple beauty of Godric's Hollow when you were forbidden to leave your own home, but they were making the best of it. James did, however, sometimes feel tempted to sneak out, but he couldn't. He didn't even have his Invisibility Cloak to protect himself, as he had let Dumbledore borrow it. But the lack of freedom was worth it. Lily and James felt truly safe for the first time in a long time. They didn't have to worry if they were going to find Death Eaters on their doorstep every day. No, this was good. This may not have been the ideal life, hiding out from the rest of the world, but it was safe and, for the time being, it was the only life they could afford.

Lily had been looking forward to dressing up Harry for Halloween, but it was out of the question. It was unfortunate. The night was calm and peaceful and she could hear the sounds of children running about outside, no doubt going from door to door, getting bagfuls of candy. Unfortunately for those children there was one house that they would not be getting candy from, because they couldn't see it. They had no idea it even existed. To them, it was just a vacant lot that had yet to be filled. This was solely for the safety of the Potters and children could miss a few rotted teeth because of it.

The Potters were enjoying a quiet evening at home. James was resting in the squashy armchair that reminded him so much of the ones in the Gryffindor common room. He wondered if Dumbledore had purposely put the armchairs there for that reason. He was leaning forward; waving his wand around so clouds of smoke appeared, much to the amusement of Harry, who was sitting on the floor in his blue pyjamas, nearly ready for bed. James grinned as his son laughed merrily and tried to catch the smoke in his tiny hands, only to laugh harder as it disappeared through his fingers.

"James, it's time for Harry to go to bed." Lily had just appeared in the room. She had been in the kitchen, cleaning up the dinner dishes while James entertained their son. She couldn't help but grin at the sight of James playing with their son. They looked so happy and she hated to stop their fun, but Harry had to go to bed.

"Right, then," James said, scooping up Harry and handing him to his mother. "Night, Harry," he said as he ruffled Harry's hair. As Lily left the room, James lightly tossed his wand onto the sofa just feet from him, stretching out his arms above him and yawning. Merlin, he was tired. He thought he'd have all the energy in the world, not having to go to work or fight on missions for the Order, but being in hiding was bloody tiring. Who knew?

Being in hiding was filled with finding ways to pass the time until it was over. Merlin knew James was at his lowest now if he was producing clouds of smoke for his entertainment as well as that of his son's. Well, at least Harry enjoyed it. That was what mattered. Maybe he would work on a letter to Sirius. James hadn't seen the man since they moved in and he badly missed his best friend. James didn't have many of those left in the world, after he'd been stabbed in the back by one of them. He was going to go out of his way to appreciate the best friends he did have - the ones who would do anything to keep his family safe, even if it meant risking their own lives.

And then the front door burst open. James rushed into the hallway, completely forgetting to take his wand with him. His mind was racing madly. Peter hadn't mentioned anything about maybe stopping by, but if he _was_ coming by, he would knock. Peter knew better than to burst into the house without announcing himself or even giving them a warning that he was coming to visit. He knew it would terrify them. That was when James saw who had come to call and he knew at once that it was all over.

It didn't take long for his heart to stop beating.

* * *

This wasn't real. It wasn't. It _couldn't _have been. There was no way Lily and James were dead. No, no, _no!_ This wasn't the plan! They were supposed to live! The whole point of making Peter their Secret Keeper was for it to be a bluff. It wasn't so Voldemort could be handed a ticket directly to them. Sirius had gone to check on Peter at his place. Peter was supposed to be home, yet when Sirius got there, the place was empty. Sirius couldn't help the eerie feeling that crept upon him. Something wasn't right. He didn't know why, but there was a bad reason for why Peter wasn't there and Sirius didn't like what he thought it was.

When he arrived at Godric's Hollow, he made a beeline straight for where the house was, where it _should_ have been. Instead of a house, he was greeted with a pile of smoldering rubble. Sirius could feel his world crashing down around him. He was almost surprised the rest of the village couldn't hear it. Their house was destroyed. James… Lily… Sirius wanted to be sick; he felt his heart throbbing horribly in his throat. No… no, this was a mistake. This wasn't their house! It was another one, it had to be. Peter wouldn't have, he couldn't have.

But he did. Peter had betrayed them!

Merlin, Sirius was so _stupid!_ This was his fault. He had said Remus was the traitor. He had said that there was no way Peter was capable of betraying them. Sirius was convinced Peter wouldn't last for a minute living the life of a Death Eater. Yet Sirius had been proved a fool. _He_ had suggested that they use Peter as their Secret Keeper and it had come back to get him in the end. His best friend… Lily… his _godson!_ They were all gone and he had been the ultimate cause of it. Peter may have given the information to Voldemort, but Sirius had given him the means to do it. He walked on unsteady legs towards the rubble, using his motorcycle as support. He knew he should turn around; spare himself from seeing what he knew would be there. But he couldn't. He kept walking.

He moved around the rubble, stepping around protruding pieces of wood, and he felt something crunch beneath his feet. Stepping back, he looked down and his stomach flipped inside of him. Black, round-framed glasses. The lenses were cracked where Sirius had stepped on them. James's glasses. Sirius brought a hand to his mouth, trying to keep the bile inside. His best friend's glasses. That only meant James, or what was left of him, wasn't far away. Sirius couldn't do it. He had to get out of here. He didn't want to see James. Not like this. Not now… not as a… not as he was.

He glanced up, startled, when he heard movement that wasn't coming from him. For a quick, fleeting second he expected to see James walking towards him, maybe looking for his glasses. He would be injured and ill, but alive nonetheless. _Who are you trying to fool, you idiot?_ He furiously questioned himself. No one could survive this. That meant Lily was dead as well; it meant… it meant Harry was dead. Harry had barely gotten to live his life and it was already taken from him. Sirius wanted to scream. He wanted to shout that it was unfair. Why did three good people have to die so terribly?

The movement was a large, hulking figure that Sirius recognised even in the darkness. Rubeus Hagrid. Sirius approached the man, still wheeling along his motorcycle. Sirius could see Hagrid was cradling something in his arms. "Hagrid?" Sirius croaked.

Hagrid was startled as well. He looked at the young man with surprise in his eyes. He didn't think anyone else would be here tonight. The large man looked just as shaken as Sirius was. "Sirius Black?" Hagrid questioned.

Sirius nodded, gulping in the cold night air. "I… W-what are you holding?" Sirius pushed the kickstand on the bike down and approached Hagrid. What he saw nearly made him faint in shock.

There was a tiny bundle in the man's arms. A tiny, _baby-sized _bundle. Harry was alive. He was alive. Sirius's knees were shaking so badly he could have collapsed where he was standing. His godson had survived. How was this possible? How could a baby survive an entire house breaking up when his parents couldn't? But why was he questioning it? Harry was alive, that was what was important. "Harry," Sirius breathed in amazement.

"I'm ter take him to his aunt and uncle's," Hagrid explained.

Sirius looked up in slight horror. Take Harry to live with the _Dursleys?_ Hadn't the baby suffered enough? Legally, Sirius was Harry's guardian! James had specifically asked him to take care of Harry should anything ever happen to him and Lily. Why was Hagrid taking him to Petunia and Vernon? It would be horrible for him there. He wouldn't be loved, not with them. "No… no, Hagrid let me take him. I'm his godfather; I'll take care of him." Harry would have the best life he could with him. If his parents couldn't be around, Sirius would raise him as though he was his son. It was the least he could do.

Yet Hagrid wouldn't concede. "No, I have me orders from Dumbledore."

Sirius's jaw clenched. It was Dumbledore's orders. Hagrid would never disobey Dumbledore's orders, no matter how much Sirius would beg him to reconsider. Though it killed him to do this, Sirius nodded. "Take my motorcycle. I won't need it anymore." It would get them there. Besides, Sirius didn't want it or need it anymore.

Hagrid took the bike and was gone within moments, steadily becoming a shrinking dot in the night sky. Sirius watched until they were no longer visible. That was the final straw. He couldn't take care of his godson. His best friend was dead. Merlin knew where Remus was or if he would ever speak to him again and Peter had done this all. Peter Pettigrew. He was the cause of this and he was going to pay. If there was one last thing Sirius did in his life, it would be to make that bastard pay for all the pain he caused. James and Lily were dead because of Peter Pettigrew.

Now it was Peter's turn.

* * *

He was in a rage. He was blind with it. Peter was going to die. He was going to suffer. He was going to suffer just as James and Lily had because he was a bloody coward who would save his own neck rather than protecting those he had once called friends. Peter was going to die and it wasn't going to be quick. He didn't deserve that. He deserved it to be long and excruciatingly painful. Now was just a matter of finding him. Sirius had roamed around as Padfoot for a long time, sniffing out the man's disgusting scent. Merlin, how could they have not seen it? The man's Animagus form was a bloody _rat!_ Were they that blind as teenagers to not have made the connection?

Rats were rats and inevitably betrayed anyone who had ever once meant anything to them. That was precisely what Peter had done.

Sirius had finally caught up with him. Peter had seen him and had begun running. That was right; the coward was running, as was so typical of his kind. He knew Sirius was out for his blood, all of it, and he would not be stopped until he had it all. James and Lily… The images of their destroyed home flashed before Sirius's eyes. His breath caught in his throat and his eyes began to sting as tears filled them. No, he couldn't do this, not now. Now was not the time to break down. He had to finish this first. He had to make Peter pay. He had to kill the bloody traitor.

It was ironic. Sirius had tried for his entire life to avoid becoming this person, but what did he have left to lose? His life was shattered. His best friends were gone, what _else_ did he have to lose? He had no family that he would or could go to. There was no one he wished to see and if he was going to risk everything by tracking down and murdering this piece of filth, then so be it. At least there would be a sense of closure, a sense of retribution.

Peter would get what was coming to him.

Peter had led him onto a crowded Muggle street. Sirius could see him just ahead, trying to force his way through the unrelenting crowd. Perfect. This was perfect. The crowd wasn't letting him through, Sirius had a clear shot. He didn't care about the stupid Statute of Secrecy; he was using his wand and blasting the scum to tiny pieces. Have someone step on his clothing and see if they kept their lunch inside. Have someone else feel the pain Sirius felt that night in Godric's Hollow. Sirius didn't care anymore!

His best friend was dead and the man responsible for it was going to suffer.

"PETER!" Sirius roared, drawing the attention of many people within the crowd. They all stared at him, no doubt wondering who this mad man was.

"Sirius," Peter squeaked. He hadn't planned for this. This wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to be running right now because the Dark Lord was supposed to be around to protect him from his furious friends. Yet he had not foreseen the backfiring of this plan. He had _not_ foreseen the downfall of the Dark Lord at the hands of a not-so-special one year old boy. He didn't have a plan and Sirius was enraged. There was no telling what Sirius would do in this condition. He would certainly do nothing that would benefit Peter. It was time for some quick thinking.

"PETER PETTIGREW!" Sirius roared again, forcing his way across the street. He was going to kill him. He was going to hurt the mutant and then kill him. All it would take was a simple flick of his wand and the life would disappear from Peter just as it had from James and Lily.

Then Peter shouted the only thing he could think of, "Lily and James! How could you, Sirius?"

_No_. There was no way Peter was doing this. He was _not_ turning this around on Sirius and making him look as though he was the murderer. Sirius may have done some of the damage, but he did _not _give Voldemort Lily and James's location. Sirius's hand plunged into his pocket where his wand was, but Peter was surprisingly quicker. There was a blinding flash and an explosion, knocking Sirius off his feet.

When the smoke cleared, there was a deafening commotion and there were bodies lying on the ground, but there wasn't the one Sirius was looking for.

Peter was gone.

Peter had tricked them again. He had gotten the best of them _again_. Little, talentless Peter Pettigrew had proved them wrong and they had all been stupid enough to let it happen. Their lives were destroyed by a spineless Flobberworm who had duped them one too many times. It was awful and yet it was funny at the same time. It was sick and disgusting but funny. People were lying dead around him, others were hurt and the culprit had gone from sight and yet this was _bloody funny_.

Sirius couldn't stop laughing. He didn't even try. Who knew when the next time he may laugh was? He didn't stop laughing, not even as the Ministry wizards who arrived on the scene dragged him away.

He only stopped laughing when his cell door in Azkaban was closed and locked.

* * *

Remus had no clear idea of how he ended up in St. Mungo's, but he didn't very much care. It had just been explained to him that Albus Dumbledore had brought him in and left once he was sure the man was going to be okay. The Healers certainly found it odd that Remus had been brought in by the Headmaster of Hogwarts, but they didn't question it as they had their work cut out for them. Remus didn't have the sharpest memory of what happened to him out in the forest. The last thing he remembered for certain was someone landing on top of him. Everything after that was a blank.

He had been out of it for days. He wasn't entirely unconscious, but he wasn't aware of anything when he was awake. His eyes may have been open, but he wasn't seeing or hearing anything. It was only now that he was able to speak and understand what others were saying to him. The Healers didn't have to ask for his information as he had been there so many times in the past. All they had to do was get Healer Smethwyk and they knew all they had to. The Healers stopped in frequently to give him his pain potions and to make sure his injuries were healing correctly.

Merlin he was in terrible pain. The werewolves must have found him and taken no mercy. All of his ribs were broken or cracked somewhere. His spine was bruised and that kept him from moving below the waist for a while. For a moment, he had been terrified that the damage to his spine would be permanent, but the Healers assured him that it was only temporary. He would be able to walk again in a few weeks, once he finished the course of potion treatments. His jaw was broken and a number of his teeth were chipped. His nose had been broken. There were too many injuries that he barely remembered them all. All he knew for certain was that he hurt everywhere. Badly.

On the morning of November first, Remus found it rather odd to find that the hospital was loud, almost obnoxiously so. The Healers were compulsive about keeping the corridors quiet so as to not disturb any patients, yet even the Healers were partaking in this raucousness. Remus didn't understand it. Yet he was too tired to bother asking. Instead, he merely wondered, but his mind didn't get very far before sleep overtook him once again, bringing him back to the worry-free land of his dreams.

It was only the following night that he received his answer. One of the Healers had just finished checking to make sure he was still healing properly when Professor Dumbledore entered the room. The man looked solemn when he took a seat beside Remus's bed. Remus tiredly greeted the Headmaster.

"Firstly, I am terribly sorry," Dumbledore said, his eyes taking in the injuries that afflicted his former student.

"Don't be, Professor," Remus told him wearily. Dumbledore had no reason to feel guilty. Remus had known the risks when he took the job. He would have been a fool to think he would escape without at least one injury. Maybe he didn't expect quite so many injuries, but he knew they were inevitable.

"I should have realised you would not go forever without being hurt. I only got you away before they truly damaged you."

Remus didn't even bother to ask how Dumbledore could possibly know to pick that moment to come check on him in the woods, but he would forever be grateful. "I'll be okay soon. The Healers said in a few weeks I'd be better."

A shadow of a smile appeared on Dumbledore's face before it disappeared and was replaced by the solemn look he had entered the room wearing. "I am afraid that is not the only reason I have come to visit you."

Remus didn't like the way he said that. It was very much the way Moody had sounded when he'd come to tell him his parents were dead. Maybe they hadn't used the same words, but the tones were similar. But what did he have to worry about on that front? His parents couldn't die twice.

"James and Lily were under the protection of the Fidelius Charm. I trust you know what that is?" Remus nodded. He had read about it once before. It was a very powerful, very effective spell. He didn't understand why it was making Dumbledore look like that. Surely if they were protected by it, that was a good thing? "They had selected Sirius Black as their Secret Keeper." Of course, who _else_ would they have picked? Remus still didn't understand… "James and Lily were killed on Halloween night."

Remus felt the room spin violently around him. No, no he had heard incorrectly. Dumbledore didn't just say that. He did _not_ just say that Lily and James were dead. No… no, it was impossible. His injuries were acting up again, making him hear things. That had to be it because, if it wasn't, it meant that Dumbledore was telling the truth. "No, you're lying," he said, his voice no louder than a whisper.

Dumbledore felt his heart tug at the desperate look on the young man's face. This was a man who had lost so many things in his life. He had lost his innocence at the age of three. He had lost the freedoms he should have had. He had so recently lost his parents. It killed Dumbledore to be the one to tell him that he had now lost everything. "I would not lie."

Remus knew this. He only hoped that may be the case this time. "And Harry?" If James and Lily were gone, what chance did the baby have?

"Harry is living with his aunt and uncle. Miraculously he survived." Remus breathed out slowly in relief; he was unaware he had been holding his breath in the first place. "I must ask you not to see him there. His aunt and uncle would not let you see him." Remus nodded slowly. He didn't know if he could even bring himself to see the baby if he'd had permission. "I'm afraid there is more bad news to share."

Remus felt his stomach turn over again. What else could have happened? What could be worse than finding out two of his friends were dead? What was worse than realising Sirius had betrayed them? Not very many things, he imagined.

"Peter Pettigrew took it upon himself to track down Sirius." Oh no. Remus knew where this was going. No, no, no. He wanted to clamp his hands over his ears and shut the next part of the news out, but he didn't. "You know as well as I do that Sirius is the better wizard." Oh _please_ no. Remus could feel himself beginning to shake. "Peter was killed. All that remained of him was a finger."

"No…" Remus could feel the bile rising in his throat, could feel the tears sliding down his face. Peter was dead too. Three of his friends in one heavy, merciless blow. He swallowed with great difficulty. The next question was one he almost couldn't bear to ask. "And Sirius?"

"He is in Azkaban. He will remain there for the rest of his life."

"He deserves it," Remus snapped, his voice hitching. Warm tears continued to slide down his face, but he didn't bother to wipe them away. He didn't hold his sobs in. It was scary to think Sirius had been the one to teach him how to cry again. It was scary to think the man was in Azkaban now. "He deserves it. He deserves what he got!" The sobs racked his body and Dumbledore could think of no comfort to offer him except to gently squeeze his shoulder.

Dumbledore understood it just as poorly as Remus did. He did not understand how the friendship that had once bound them together had fallen to pieces in such a devastating way.

* * *

_**Upcoming Chapter: Epilogue**_


	96. Epilogue

Epilogue

There had been four of them; this was what Harry had said. Four boys. Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew. All Gryffindors in the same year, all best friends. They had met on the Hogwarts Express, had grown up together, done so many things together. They'd spend Christmas and the summers at each others' homes. They had become Animagi together. They had gotten dozens upon dozens of detentions together and had created a map of the entire school. These were feats any student would kill to accomplish.

They had been destined for great things. They were destined to live long and prosperous lives. How had they been cut so short? Well, it wasn't a question of _how._ It was a question of _why._ Why had their bond, one that had been so strong some believed it to be unbreakable, broken? Why had their friendship dissolved into tragedy? The rift that separated them, he knew there was a way it could have been avoided. Something had gone amiss and it had resulted in the tragedy of the four friends that had practically been brothers.

At least some rifts were mended before their lives ended. Sirius Black had proven himself innocent to Remus Lupin and to his godson, Harry Potter. He had proven that he _would_ rather die than betray Lily and James. What a moment that must have been, the moment that Sirius and Remus were reunited as friends, that they could forgive each other for suspecting the other was the traitor, considering the real traitor was still around and had to be dealt with. He hated admitting this to himself, but he wished they would have killed him when they had the chance.

It would have spared the world a great deal of heartache.

Sirius had met his end only two years after his breakout from Azkaban. He was killed in the Department of Mysteries, killed at the hands of his cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange. His best friend had seen it, had watched Sirius fall behind the veil, knowing there was nothing he could do to save him. Remus had to maintain his composure in order to help the students that were there. It must have been difficult, to think that you'd finally gotten your friend back, only to have him taken away without the possibility of a return. He couldn't imagine how Remus had taken it. It had to have been difficult. It had to have been heartbreaking. It had to be worse than the first time he thought he had lost him.

Because now he knew that Sirius was innocent and realised there were so many years they had missed, years that could have been happy.

Again, it was all the fault of Peter Pettigrew.

But Peter got what was coming to him in the end. He had betrayed his best friends; he had sold their lives to save his own. In the end, his own body betrayed him. He must have thought he was perfectly safe within Voldemort's pocket. He was a fool for thinking that. No one was safe, even if they were in Voldemort's supposed _protection_. That silver hand of his, according to Harry, had turned on him. Peter tried to finally do the right thing and the hand choked him to death. It was no more than he deserved. If he had done the right thing years ago, more lives would have been spared.

Lives would have been forever changed, but not in a negative way.

He supposed it didn't matter anymore, what was done was done. Maybe it was a cruel way to think. He knew his own life would have been different if Pettigrew hadn't interfered. The final member of the group died during the Battle of Hogwarts. Remus Lupin and his wife, Nymphadora Tonks, had been murdered in the final battle, fighting to try and make a better world for their family to grow up in. They had given the ultimate sacrifice in the form of their lives.

Their time was over. The time of James, Remus, Sirius and Peter was over. They had lived their lives; they had done both great and terrible things. They had made their mark on the world and yet never lived to know that. They were supposed to be friends forever; their friendship was supposed to withstand any test that was thrown at it. War brought out all sides of people and it had brought out the best in three of the four. Yet it had also brought out the worst in all four. They had turned their backs on each other, failed to realise what was amiss. Yet three of them never would have seen that particular end coming.

Their time was over. Their memories had been made, their lives had been lived. Now, so many years later, it was his turn. It was his turn to make his legacy at Hogwarts and he sincerely hoped he would find friends the way his father had. He only hoped he would not be betrayed by them.

And so, taking a deep breath, Teddy Lupin stepped onto the Hogwarts Express for the first time.

__

**The End**

* * *

**Author's Note: **So there you have it. It's so weird to have posted the last chapter, but there it is. Thank you to everyone who's supported this story! I appreciate all your reads and reviews!


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